ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Rory Bremner - Comedian
One of the UK's sharpest funny men, Rory Bremner exposes the lunacies of modern politics with devilishly clever political satire and spot-on impressions of leaders from around the world.

Why you should listen

From pop star to political pundit, Scottish-born satirist Rory Bremner has been channeling famous folks for decades. While the frenetic funny man may be most recognized for his regular cameo on Whose Line is It Anyway? (that was Bremner as Prince Charles on a dating show), his wicked impressions of Tony Blair and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have landed him in popular one-man shows and on BBC news and comedy spots like Mock the Week. Bremner's comedic antics run the gamut between anti-war activism to Monty Python-like goofiness. He recently convinced Labour Party's Margaret Beckett he was Prime Minister Gordon Brown during a controversial phone conversation.

When he's not prank-calling members of Parliament, the tri-lingual comedian writes farcical plays and translates operas from French and German into English. He recently "wit-synced"at The Big Brecht Fest at London's Young Vic Theatre.

More profile about the speaker
Rory Bremner | Speaker | TED.com
TEDGlobal 2009

Rory Bremner: A one-man world summit

罗里布莱穆勒(Rory Bremner)一个人的首脑会议

Filmed:
1,205,646 views

苏格兰最风趣的人罗里布莱穆勒(Rory Bremner)在TEDGloble的讲台上召开了一场历史性的峰会,当他用他滑稽的表现和精彩的评论讽刺了戈登布朗,巴拉克奥巴马,乔治布什和其他一些世界领袖。看你能否在其中找到一些TED的内部笑话。
- Comedian
One of the UK's sharpest funny men, Rory Bremner exposes the lunacies of modern politics with devilishly clever political satire and spot-on impressions of leaders from around the world. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:15
Chris克里斯 has been so nice不错.
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克里斯一直都是那么友好。
00:17
I don't know how you keep it up, Chris克里斯, I really don't.
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我不知道你们是怎么想克里斯的,我真的不知道。
00:19
So nice不错, all week. He's the kind of man you could say to,
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那么的友善,整个星期。他是友善的让你可以倾诉的人,
00:22
"Chris克里斯, I'm really sorry, I've crashed坠毁 your car汽车.
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“克里斯,我真的对不起,我撞坏了你的车。
00:25
And it gets得到 worse更差, I crashed坠毁 it into your house.
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而且更糟的是,我把车撞进了你的房子。
00:27
Your house has caught抓住 fire.
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你的房子也因此起火,
00:29
And what's more, your wife妻子 has just run off with your best最好 friend朋友."
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而且,你的老婆和你最好的朋友私奔了。”
00:32
And you know that Chris克里斯 would say, "Thank you."
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你知道,克里斯会这样回答,“谢谢”
00:35
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
00:37
"Thank you for sharing分享, that's really interesting有趣."
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“谢谢你的分享,那真的很有趣。”
00:39
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
00:40
"Thank you for taking服用 me to a place地点 that I didn't know existed存在. Thank you."
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”谢谢你带我去了一个我不知道的地方,谢谢。“
00:44
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)(这里是讽刺TED发言人的友善)
00:45
One of the -- (Applause掌声) Thank you for inviting诱人的 us.
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其中一个 (掌声)谢谢你邀请我们。
00:48
One of the things about appearing出现 later后来 on in the TEDTED week is that,
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这个星期在TED里经常出现的事情是,
00:50
gradually逐渐, as the days go by,
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慢慢的,随着时间的推移,
00:52
all the other speakers音箱 cover most of what you were going to say.
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所有的演讲者把你要说的都说了。
00:57
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
00:58
Nuclear fusion聚变, I had about 10 minutes分钟 on that.
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核能,我曾经想花10分钟在这个上面。
01:02
Spectroscopy光谱, that was another另一个 one.
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光谱,是另外一个方面。
01:05
Parallel平行 universes宇宙.
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平行宇宙。
01:07
And so this morning早上 I thought, "Oh well, I'll just do a card trick."
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所以这个早上,我想,“好吧,我就做一个扑克魔术好了”
01:11
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
01:13
That one's那些 gone走了 as well.
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这个居然也被用过了。
01:15
And today今天 is Emmanuel's伊曼纽尔的 day, I think we've我们已经 agreed同意 that, already已经, haven't没有 we?
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今天是以马利日,我想我们都同意这个吧,不是吗?
01:18
Emmanuel灵光? Absolutely绝对. (Applause掌声)
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以马利?绝对的,(掌声)
01:21
I was planning规划 on finishing精加工 on a dance舞蹈 ...
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我想我会用一段舞蹈来结束我的讲话
01:23
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
01:24
So, that's going to look pretty漂亮 shabby破旧 now.
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那么,现在这将看起来是十分肤浅的。
01:27
So, what I thought I'd do is -- in honor荣誉 of Emmanuel灵光 --
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所以,我想我会做的是,为向以马利表示敬意--
01:29
is, what I can do is to launch发射 today今天 the first
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我今天将要兴办史上第一次
01:33
TEDTED Global全球 auction拍卖.
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TED全球拍卖。
01:35
If I could start开始, this is the Enigma decoding解码 machine.
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如果我可以开始,这是一个谜语解码机
01:39
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
01:40
Who will start开始 me with $1,000? Anyone任何人?
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谁愿意以1000美元开始?谁?
01:44
Thank you. Bruno's布鲁诺的 face面对, just then,
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谢谢。看看布鲁诺的表情,刚才,
01:46
he said, "No, don't go through通过 this. Don't, please don't.
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他的表情告诉我,”不要,不要这样做,真的,不要
01:48
Don't go through通过 this. Don't do it."
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不要这样做,不要”
01:50
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
01:54
I'm worried担心. When I first got the invitation请帖,
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当我一拿到邀请的时候,我很担心,
01:57
they said somewhere某处 in the thing, they said, "15 minutes分钟 to change更改 the world世界,
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他们在提到了一件是,他们说到“你可以用你在讲台
01:59
your moment时刻 onstage在舞台上." 15 minutes分钟 to change更改 the world世界.
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上的15分钟改变世界”,用15分钟去改变世界。
02:02
I don't know about you, it takes me 15 minutes分钟 to change更改 a plug插头.
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我不知道你们是怎么样的,我用了15分钟才换了个插头。
02:04
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
02:05
So, the idea理念 of changing改变 the world世界 is really quite相当 an extraordinary非凡 one.
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所以,改变世界的想法的确是非同寻常的。
02:09
Well, of course课程 now we know we don't have to change更改 a plug插头,
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因为我们的让意识到,我们不用去换插头了。
02:11
now we've我们已经 seen看到 that wonderful精彩 demonstration示范
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我们刚刚看到一个神奇的演示
02:13
of the wireless无线 electric电动 -- fantastic奇妙. You know, it inspires激励 us.
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一个关于无线电力的演示,神奇,你知道,这启迪了我们。
02:16
300 years年份 ago he'd他会 have been burnt at the stake赌注 for that.
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如果是300年前,他会被活活烧死。
02:19
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
02:20
And now it's an idea理念.
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然而现在则是一个想法。
02:22
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
02:23
It's great. It's fantastic奇妙.
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这是了不起的,这是神奇的。
02:25
But you do meet遇到 some fantastic奇妙 people,
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但是你还会遇到更多的神奇的人物,
02:27
people who look at the world世界 in a totally完全 different不同 way.
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一些用不同眼光看待世界的人物。
02:29
Yesterday昨天, David大卫 Deutsch德语, another另一个 one
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昨天,大卫( David Deutsch)(此人曾讽刺过荷兰人),另外一个
02:31
who covered覆盖 most of what I was going to say.
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把我要讲的都讲了的人。
02:33
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
02:35
But when you think of the world世界 in that way,
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但是当你这样去看待世界时,
02:37
it does make going to Starbucks星巴克 a whole整个 new experience经验, don't you think?
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这会让星巴克成为一种全新的体验,你不这样想吗?
02:40
I mean, he must必须 walk步行 in and they will say,
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我的意思是,他肯定走进去,然后他们会这样说
02:42
"Would you like a macchiato玛奇朵,
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“你想要加一点奶,
02:44
or a latte拿铁, or an Americano美式,
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还是适量牛奶,或很多奶,
02:46
or a cappuccino热奶咖啡?"
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还是发泡牛奶?”
02:48
And he'll地狱 say,
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然后他会说道,
02:50
"You're offering me things that are infinitely无限地 variable变量."
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“你们提供的东西是个无限变量”
02:53
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
02:55
"How can your coffee咖啡 be true真正?"
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“你们的咖啡还是真的咖啡吗?”
02:57
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
02:59
And they will say,
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然后他们会说,
03:01
"Would you mind心神 if I serve服务 the next下一个 customer顾客?"
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“你不介意我们接待下一位客户吧?”
03:03
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
03:05
And Elaine伊莱恩 Morgan摩根 yesterday昨天, wasn't she wonderful精彩?
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然后是昨天的伊莱恩摩根,她真的很棒.(此人提出人类的祖先在水里)
03:07
Fantastic奇妙. Really good.
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神奇,真的很好。
03:09
Her talk about the aquatic ape, and the link链接, of course课程,
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她的演讲是关于水里的黑猩猩,以及连接,当然了,
03:11
the link链接 between之间 Darwinism达尔文主义
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和达尔文进化论之间的连接
03:14
and the fact事实 that we are all naked beneath下面 this --
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事实是,我们都是光着身体的,
03:16
we're not hirsute粗毛 and we can swim游泳 rather well.
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我们没有肚脐,我们还是游泳高手。
03:19
And she said, you know, she's 90. She's running赛跑 out of time, she said.
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她还说到,你知道的,她已经90了,她说,她快没时间了。
03:21
And she's desperate殊死 to find more evidence证据 for the link链接.
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她急需找到这个连接的更多证据。
03:24
And I think, "I'm sitting坐在 next下一个 to Lewis刘易斯 Pugh普格."
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然后我想,”我旁边坐的就是皮尤。“
03:26
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
03:27
This man has swum游过 around the North Pole, what more evidence证据 do you want?
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这个人曾游过了北极,你还想要多少证据?
03:31
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
03:33
And there he is.
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他就在这里。
03:35
(Applause掌声)
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(笑)
03:36
That's how TEDTED brings带来 these connections连接 together一起.
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TED就是这样把我们联系起来的。
03:38
I wasn't here on Tuesday星期二. I didn't actually其实 see Gordon戈登 Brown's布朗
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我昨天不在这。实际上我没有看到戈登布朗的
03:40
job工作 application应用 -- umUM, sorry.
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求职申请,呃,对不起。
03:42
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
03:43
I'm so sorry. (Applause掌声)
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我真的十分抱歉。(掌声)
03:45
I'm so sorry. No, no. (Applause掌声)
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我真的抱歉,真的,(掌声)
03:47
No, no, ahh ... (Applause掌声)
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真的,真的 (掌声)
03:51
(As Brown棕色): "Global全球 problems问题 require要求 Scottish苏格兰的 solutions解决方案."
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“全球问题需要苏格兰的解决方法”(模仿布朗)
03:55
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
03:57
The problem问题 I have is because Gordon戈登 Brown棕色, he comes onstage在舞台上
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我对布朗的问题是,因为布朗,他站在台上
03:59
and he looks容貌 for all the world世界 like a man
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然后他就像一个穿着西装的熊一般
04:01
who's谁是 just taken采取 the head off a bear suit适合.
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期望这世界。
04:03
(As Brown棕色): "Hello你好, can I tell you what happened发生 in the woods树木 back there?
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“你好,我可以告诉你们树林后面发生了什么吗?
04:08
Uh, no." (Laughter笑声)
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哦,不“(笑)
04:10
"I'm sorry. I've only got 18 minutes分钟, 18 minutes分钟 to talk about saving保存 the world世界,
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”对不起,我只有18分钟,18分钟来谈谈拯救世界,
04:15
saving保存 the planet行星, global全球 institutions机构.
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拯救星球,全球机构。
04:17
Our work on climate气候 change更改,
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我们在气候转变上的工作,
04:19
I've only got 18 minutes分钟, unfortunately不幸 I'm not able能够 to tell you about
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我只有18分钟,十分遗憾的,我不能告诉你
04:22
all the wonderful精彩 things we're doing to promote促进 the climate气候 change更改 agenda议程
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我们在大不列颠帝国做了多少关于气候变化方针
04:26
in Great Britain英国,
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的推动,
04:28
like the third第三 runway跑道 we're planning规划 at Heathrow希思罗机场 Airport飞机场 ..."
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就像我们在希思罗机场跑道上做的一样“
04:31
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
04:34
"The large coal-fired燃煤 power功率 station we're building建造
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我们在北部建立的
04:36
at King's国王 North,
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燃煤发电站,
04:38
and of course课程 the exciting扣人心弦 news新闻 that only today今天,
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而且,令人兴奋的消息就在今天,
04:40
only this week, Britain's英国的 only manufacturer生产厂家
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就是这个星期,大不列颠的唯一的风力涡轮机
04:43
of wind turbines涡轮机 has been forced被迫 to close.
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制造商被强行关闭了。
04:46
No time, unfortunately不幸,
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很遗憾,我没有时间
04:48
to mention提到 those."
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提到这些。“
04:50
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
04:54
"British英国的 jobs工作 for Scottish苏格兰的 people ...
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英国人为苏格兰人做的事情
04:57
No." (Laughter笑声)
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不(笑)
05:01
"Christian基督教 principles原则, Christian基督教 values.
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“基督教信条,基督教精神。”
05:03
Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal,
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你不应杀人,你不应偷窃,
05:06
thou shalt not covet贪图 thy你的 neighbor's邻居 wife妻子."
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你不应该觊觎你的邻居的妻子。“
05:08
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
05:11
"Although虽然 to be honest诚实, when I was at Number 11 that was never going to be a problem问题."
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“但是,说实话,当我在11岁的时候,从没发现这是一个问题。”
05:14
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
05:17
(As Tony托尼 Blair布莱尔): "Yeah, alright好的, come on, eh.
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“好,真的,
05:21
Alright好的 Gordon戈登, come on, eh.
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好吧,戈登,真的。
05:23
I just, can I just say a few少数 things about,
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我可以说说谢丽,
05:25
first about Cherie切丽, because she's a wonderful精彩 lady淑女,
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因为她是一个美妙的小姐,
05:27
my wife妻子, with a wonderful精彩 smile微笑.
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我的妻子,带着美丽的微笑。
05:31
That reminds提醒 me, I must必须 post岗位 that letter."
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这提醒了我,我一定要寄那封信”
05:33
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
05:35
"I just think, you know, what people forget忘记,
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“我想,你们知道,人是怎样的健忘,
05:37
Gordon戈登 and I, we always got on perfectly完美 well.
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戈登和我,我们关系一直很好。
05:40
Alright好的, it was never exactly究竟 'Brokeback“断背山 Mountain.'"
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好吧,但也不是像“断背山”那样”
05:43
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
05:46
"You know, I wrote to him, just before I left office办公室. I said,
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“你们知道,在我下班之前,我写给他一个便条,说,
05:48
'Can I rely依靠 on your support支持 for the next下一个 month?'
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我能在下个月得到你的支持吗?”
05:50
And he wrote back. He said, 'No'没有, you can't.'
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然后他回信,说,不能,你得不到”
05:54
Which哪一个 kind of surprised诧异 me, because I'd never seen看到 'can't'“不能” spelled拼写 that way before."
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那十分让我吃惊,因为我还从来没看到有人这样写”不行“的。
05:57
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
06:02
Another另一个 thing Gordon戈登 could have mentioned提到 in his speech言语
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戈登可以在他演讲里提到的另一件事就是
06:04
to the Mansion大厦 House in 2002 --
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在2002年的伦敦市长官邸,
06:07
that was to the building建造; the people weren't listening.
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没有人去听这件事。
06:09
But the people, when talking about the finance金融 industry行业, he said,
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但是人们,当人们在讨论这工业经济的时候,他说,
06:11
"What you as the city of London伦敦 have doneDONE for financial金融 services服务,
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“伦敦城市对财经所做的贡献,
06:17
we, as a government政府, hope希望 to do for the economy经济 as a whole整个."
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我们,作为政府,希望能对整个经济做出同样的贡献。”
06:20
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
06:23
When you think what's happened发生 to financial金融 services服务,
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当你想想经财经服务业发生了什么的时候,
06:25
and you see what's happened发生 to the economy经济, you think,
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你就会看到经济发生了什么变化,你想。
06:27
"Well, there is a man who delivers提供 on his promises许诺."
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“这倒是一个守信用的人”
06:29
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
06:30
But we're in a new world世界 now. We're in a completely全然 new world世界.
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但是我们是在一个新世界里。我们在一个完全新的世界里。
06:32
This is the first time that I can remember记得, where if you get a letter
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我可以第一次回忆到,如果你从你的银行经理里
06:34
from the bank银行 manager经理 about a loan贷款, you don't know if you're borrowing借款
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收到一封关于借款的信,你不确定是你要从他那里
06:36
money from him, or if he's borrowing借款 money from you.
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借钱,还是他要从你这里借钱。
06:38
Am I right?
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我说的对吧?
06:40
These extraordinary非凡 things, Icelandic冰岛的 Internet互联网 accounts账户.
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这些非同寻常的事情,冰岛网络账户。
06:42
Did anyone任何人 here have an Icelandic冰岛的 Internet互联网 account帐户?
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这里有人知道冰岛网络账户吗?
06:45
Why would you do that? Why would -- It's like one step up
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为什么要知道?为什么,就好象有人
06:47
from replying回复 to one of those emails电子邮件 from Nigeria尼日利亚, isn't it?
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会回复那些从尼日利亚来的电子邮件一样,对吧?
06:50
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
06:51
Asking for your bank银行 details细节.
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询问你的银行详细资料。
06:53
And, you know, Iceland冰岛, it was never going to cut it.
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然后,你就知道,冰岛,从不会去消减它的。
06:56
It didn't have that kind of collateral抵押.
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从来就没有这样的抵押品。
06:58
What does it have? It has fish, that's all.
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它有什么?它有很多鱼,就这些了。
07:01
That's why the Prime主要 Minister部长 went on television电视. He said,
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这就是为什么首相要上电视,说到,
07:03
"This has left us all
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”这一切给我们留下了
07:05
with a very big haddock黑线鳕."
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非常大的黑线鳕(英文里“令人头疼的问题”发音不准时听起来像“黑线鳕”)”
07:07
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
07:11
A lot of what I do -- I have to try and make sense
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我做的很多事情是,我试图在我胡来之前
07:13
of things before I can make nonsense废话 of them.
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把事情给想清楚。
07:15
And making制造 sense of the financial金融 crisis危机 is very, very difficult.
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但是要把金融危机讲清楚是十分困难的。
07:18
Luckily, somebody like George乔治 Bush衬套 was really helpful有帮助.
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幸运的是,像乔治布什这样的人是非常有用的。
07:20
He summed总结 it up, really, at a dinner晚餐.
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他总结了一下,真的,在一个晚宴上。
07:22
He was speaking请讲 at a dinner晚餐, he said,
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他在晚餐上说道,
07:25
"Wall Street got drunk."
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“华尔街喝高了。”
07:27
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑 )
07:29
"And now it's got a hangover宿醉."
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“而且现在还宿醉未醒。”
07:32
And that's, you know, that's something --
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这就是,你们知道,这就是
07:34
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
07:39
And that's something we can relate涉及 to.
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这个比喻让人们能对金融危机感同身受。
07:41
It's certainly当然 something he can relate涉及 to.
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显然这个比喻让布什可以感同身受。
07:43
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
07:45
And the other one, of course课程, is Donald唐纳德 Rumsfeld拉姆斯菲尔德, who said,
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当然,另外一个人,就是拉姆斯菲尔德,说到,
07:47
"There are the known已知 knowns的已知,, the things we know we know.
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“世上有已知的知道的事,它们是我们知道我们知道的事
07:51
And then you got the known已知 unknowns未知数,
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也有已知的我们不知道的事,
07:54
the things we know we don't know.
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他们是我们知道自己还不知道的事。
07:56
And then you got the unknown未知 unknowns未知数, those are the things
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还有未知的不知道的事,它们是
07:58
we don't know we don't know."
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我们不知道我们不知道的。”
08:00
And being存在 English英语, when I first heard听说 that I thought, "What a load加载 of cock公鸡."
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做为一个英国人,当我第一次听到这些的时候,我想,“真是鬼话连篇啊!”
08:02
And then, you're now, well, actually其实, that's what this is about.
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但是,现在,实际上,那很精辟。
08:07
This whole整个, what Ben Bernanke伯南克 has said,
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这就是伯南克所说到的,
08:09
the chaotic混乱的 unwinding开卷 of the world's世界 financial金融 system系统,
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混乱的世界金融体系平仓,
08:13
it's about -- they don't know, they didn't know what they were doing.
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就是因为,他们不知道,他们不知道他们在干什么。
08:16
In 2006, the head of the American美国 Mortgage抵押 Bankers银行家 Association协会 said, quote引用,
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在2006年,美国抵押贷款银行家协会负责人说,我引用他的话,
08:20
"As we can clearly明确地 see,
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“我们可以清楚的看到
08:24
no seismic地震 occurrence发生
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并没有惊天动地的事
08:26
is about to overwhelm压倒 the U.S. economy经济."
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正要席卷美国。”
08:28
Now, there is a man on top最佳 of his job工作.
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这就是一位十分尽忠自己工作的人。
08:30
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
08:31
And when the crisis危机 was happening事件, the head of quantitative equities股市
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然而,当危机发生时,莱曼兄弟
08:33
at Lehman雷曼 Brothers兄弟 said,
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的大股东说到,
08:35
"Events活动 which哪一个 models楷模 predicted预料到的 would happen发生
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“这种每10000年发生一次的
08:38
once一旦 every一切 10,000 years年份
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事情
08:40
happened发生 every一切 day for three days."
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正在每天发生,而且持续了三天。“
08:43
So, it's extraordinary非凡. It's a new world世界 that's very, very difficult to make sense of.
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所以,这就是非同寻常的。这是一个十分让人难以解释的新世界。
08:46
But we have a new hope希望. We have a new man.
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但是我们有一个新的希望,我们有一个新的人物。
08:50
America美国 has now elected当选 its first openly公然 black黑色 President主席.
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美国刚选举了一个黑得公然的黑人总统。
08:53
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
08:55
Wonderful精彩 news新闻.
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美妙的新闻。
08:57
Not only that, he's left-handed左撇子. Have you noticed注意到 this?
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不仅仅是这样,他还是左撇子,你注意到了吗?
08:59
How many许多 people here are left-handed左撇子?
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有多少人是左撇子?
09:01
You see, a lot of the people that I most admire欣赏,
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你看,我所崇拜的很多人
09:03
they're great artists艺术家, great designers设计师, great thinkers思想家,
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有伟大的艺术家,伟大的设计师,伟大的思考者,
09:05
they're left-handed左撇子.
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他们是左撇子。
09:07
And somebody said to me last night, you know, being存在 left-handed左撇子,
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昨晚,有人对我说,你知道,做为一个左撇子,
09:09
you have to learn学习 to write without smudging晕染 the ink墨水.
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你必须学习在不划花墨水的同时写字,
09:13
And somebody was talking about metaphors隐喻 on Monday星期一.
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然后星期一有人在讲比喻。
09:15
And I thought, what a wonderful精彩 metaphor隐喻, isn't it? An American美国 President主席 who
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我想,这还真是很好的比喻,不是吗?一个不会划花墨水但是
09:17
has to write without smudging晕染 the ink墨水.
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还能写字的美国总统。
09:20
You like that one? As opposed反对 to you could see
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你喜欢这个吗?相反的,你可以看到
09:22
George乔治 Bush衬套, well, what's the metaphor隐喻 there?
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乔治布什,好吧,这里用什么比喻吗?
09:25
I think it would be something out of the aquatic ape thing, wouldn't不会 it?
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我想也许是海洋中的大猩猩,不是吗?
09:27
"Well, you know I'm sorry about that.
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“好,你知道,我很抱歉。
09:29
I'm right-handed右手 but I seem似乎 to have smudged污迹 that ink墨水 as well."
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我只右撇子,但是我似乎还会弄花墨水。”
09:32
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
09:34
But, you know, he's gone走了. Now he's gone走了.
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但是,你知道,他卸任了,现在他不在位了。
09:36
That's eight years年份 of American美国 History历史, eight minutes分钟 of my act法案,
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这是美国历史的8年,我演艺事业的8分钟,
09:38
just gone走了 like that.
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就这样流失了。
09:40
"You know, it's the end结束 of an error错误 [sicSIC].
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“它是一个时代的结束。
09:42
I happen发生 to believe it was a great error错误.
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我也相信它是一个时代的结束。
09:45
I know folks乡亲 said to me they believe it was one of the greatest最大 errors错误
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我知道很多人对我说道,这是美国历史上
09:47
in the history历史 of the United联合的 States状态.
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最伟大的时代之一。
09:50
But we proved证实 them wrong错误 in Iraq伊拉克.
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但是我们在伊拉克里证实了他们是错的。
09:53
They said there was no link链接 between之间 Iraq伊拉克 and Al Qaeda凯达.
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他们说伊拉克和基地组织没有关系。
09:56
There is now."
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现在有的。“
09:58
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
09:59
"But I have a message信息 for the suicide自杀 bombers轰炸机,
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”但是我有一句话要说给那些人肉炸弹们
10:02
for those people who've谁一直 blown themselves他们自己 up."
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就是那些把自己炸上天的人。“
10:05
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
10:08
"We're going to find you."
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“我们会找到你的”
10:10
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
10:11
"We're going to make sure you don't do it again."
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“我们保证你不会有下一次。”
10:13
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
10:14
But now he's gone走了, and it's great to see one of the --
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但是现在他卸任了,而且我们有幸可以看到
10:16
arguably按理说 one of the worst最差 speech言语 makers制造商
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美国历史上最烂的演讲者将
10:18
in American美国 history历史,
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话筒递给美国最好的
10:20
now given特定 way to one of the greatest最大, in Obama奥巴马.
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演讲者之一,奥巴马。
10:22
You were there, maybe, on the night of his victory胜利.
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你也许在选举成功的当晚。
10:24
And he spoke to the crowd人群 in Chicago芝加哥, he said,
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他是这样对芝加哥的人群说到,
10:27
"If there is anyone任何人 out there
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“如果还有人在那里
10:32
who still doubts疑惑
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还有人怀疑着
10:35
that America美国 is a place地点
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美国是一个
10:40
where all things are possible可能 ..."
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所有事情都可能的地方”
10:42
I can't do the whole整个 thing because it would take too long, it really would.
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我不能完全讲完,那太花时间了,真的。
10:44
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
10:45
But you get the picture图片. And then it goes to the inauguration就职典礼.
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但是你知道我的意思了,然后就是就职典礼。
10:49
And he and the Chief首席 Justice正义, they trip over each other,
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他和终审法院首席法官,他们绊倒对方,
10:51
they get their words wrong错误 and they screw the thing up.
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他们搞误会了,然后把事情搞砸了。
10:53
And there is George乔治 Bush衬套 sitting坐在 there going, "Heh heh嘿嘿 heh嘿嘿 heh嘿嘿 ..."
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然后乔治布什坐在那,"呵呵呵呵呵"
10:55
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
10:56
"Not so easy简单 is it? Heh heh嘿嘿 heh嘿嘿."
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“不是那么简单的吧?呵呵呵呵呵”
10:58
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
11:00
But the interesting有趣 thing is, Gordon戈登 Brown棕色 was talking about Cicero西塞罗,
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但是有趣的是,戈登布朗在谈论这西塞罗,
11:03
who said, people would listen to a speech言语, they said, "Great speech言语."
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西塞罗说,人们会听从演讲,他们说,"伟大的演讲。"
11:05
And then they'd他们会 listen to Demosthenes德摩斯梯尼,
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然后他们会听从德摩斯梯尼,
11:07
and they'd他们会 say, "Let's march游行."
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然后说,“让我们游行。”
11:09
And we all want to believe in President主席 Obama奥巴马.
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我们都希望相信奥巴马总统,
11:12
It's rather like that line线 in the film电影 "As Good As it Gets获取."
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就好象“尽善尽美”中的一句台词
11:15
Do you remember记得 that film电影 with Helen海伦 Hunt打猎 and Jack插口 Nicholson尼科尔森,
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你们记得这个海伦亨特和杰克尼克尔森的电影,
11:17
and Helen海伦 Hunt打猎 says to Jack插口 Nicholson尼科尔森, "What do you see in me?"
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当海伦亨特说对杰克尼克尔森说到“你是怎样看我的?”
11:20
And Jack插口 Nicholson尼科尔森 just says,
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然后,杰克尼克尔森说,
11:22
"You make me want to be a better man."
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“你让我想成为一个更好的人。”
11:25
And you want a leader领导 who inspires激励 and challenges挑战
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你想要一个可以启迪你,挑战你
11:27
and makes品牌 you want to be a better citizen公民. Right?
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让你成为一个更好公民的总统,对吗?
11:30
But at the moment时刻, it's a Cicero西塞罗 thing.
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但是,那时,又有西塞罗的事情。
11:32
We like what Barack巴拉克 Obama奥巴马 says, but we don't do anything about it.
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我们喜欢巴拉克奥巴马所讲的事情,但是我们没有任何行动。
11:34
So he comes over to this country国家, and he says,
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所以,他来到这个国家,说到,
11:37
"We need
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“我们需要
11:39
a big fiscal stimulus刺激物."
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一个财政刺激"
11:42
And everyone大家 goes, "Great!" He leaves树叶 the country国家
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然后所有的人说到,”好!“他离开了这个国家
11:44
and the French法国 and the Germans德国 go, "No, no, forget忘记 about that,
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然后法国和德国说道,”不,不,忘掉这些,
11:47
absolutely绝对 not." Nothing happens发生. He goes to Strasburg斯特拉斯堡.
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绝对不行。”什么事也没有发生。他去了斯特拉斯堡。
11:49
He says, "We need more boots靴子 on the ground地面 in Afghanistan阿富汗."
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他说,“我们需要更支持阿富汗”
11:53
And everyone大家 goes, "Great idea理念."
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然后所有人说道,“好棒的主意”
11:55
He leaves树叶, people go, "No no no, we're not going to do that.
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他离开后,人们说,“不,不,不,我们绝对不会做这些
11:57
5,000 maximum最大值, and no rockets火箭. No, no, not going to do it."
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5000最多了,不包括火箭,不,不,不会做的。“
12:00
He goes to Prague布拉格, he says, "We believe in a nuclear-free无核 world世界."
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他来到布拉格,说到,“我们相信一个无核的自由世界。”
12:03
And it's great to have an American美国 president主席 who can say the word "nuclear,"
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能有一个能准确发音“无核”的美国总统实在是太好了,
12:06
let's just point that out first.
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我们先说明这一点。
12:08
Do you remember记得 that? George乔治 Bush衬套, "A nu-ca-lerNU-CA-LER."
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你记得吗?乔治布什,”无 无 无 核“
12:10
Sorry, what? "A nu-ca-lerNU-CA-LER."
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对不起,什么?”无 无 无 核“
12:13
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
12:14
Could you say "avuncular母舅"? "AvunclearAvunclear."
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你能说“叔伯”吗?“叔伯”
12:17
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
12:18
Thank you very much.
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谢谢
12:20
But he says, "We want a nuclear-free无核 world世界."
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但是奥巴马发音很漂亮地说道,”我们需要一个无核的自由世界“
12:22
And that day, North Korea韩国, that very day,
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就在那天,北韩,就在那天,
12:24
North Korea韩国 is just seeing眼看 if it can
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北韩正在测试看它能不能
12:26
just get one over Japan日本 --
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轰到日本。
12:29
(Laughter笑声) --
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(笑)
12:30
and land土地 it before ...
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然后在它之前降落。
12:32
So, where do we look for inspiration灵感? We've我们已经 still got Bill法案 Clinton克林顿.
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所以,我们的启迪从何而来?我们还有比尔克林顿。
12:35
"Travels游记 the world世界." (Laughs)
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“环游世界。”(笑)
12:38
"I believe, I believe it was President主席 Dwight德怀特 D. Eisenhower艾森豪威尔 who said ..."
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“我相信,我相信埃森豪威尔总统说过”
12:45
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
12:46
"Tell a lie谎言; it was Diana戴安娜 Ross罗斯 ..."
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“撒个谎,戴安娜罗斯则说过”
12:48
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
12:49
"... who said, reach达到 out and touch触摸 ..."
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“她说过,触手可及”
12:52
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
12:54
"... somebody's某人的 glaGLA -- hand."
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“某些人的手。”
12:56
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
12:58
"Make this world世界 a better place地点, if you can.
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“创造一个更好的世界,如果你可以的话。
13:01
I just think that's important重要. I really do.
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我只是想这很重要,真的。
13:04
And I was hoping希望 Hillary希拉里 would get to the White白色 House,
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我也十分希望希拉里可以入住白宫,
13:06
because she'd have been out of our home for four years年份.
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这样她就不会在我们的家住上4年。
13:08
And I, you know." (Laughter笑声)
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这样我,你们知道。“(淫笑)
13:10
"So, when that didn't work out I had to make a few少数 arrangements安排, let me tell you."
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“所以,当这样行不通的时候,我就必须做些安排暗箱操纵一下,让我告诉你们。”
13:13
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
13:15
So, there's him. In Britain英国 we have Prince王子 Charles查尔斯:
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这样,这就是他。在英国,我们有查理王子。
13:17
"And the environment环境 is so important重要, all we can do.
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“环境是十分重要的,我们都能做到。
13:20
My wife妻子 gets得到 fed美联储 up with me constantly经常 trying to
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我的妻子已经开始烦我的,而且不断的想
13:23
push emissions排放 up her agenda议程."
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在她的日程上提高排放量。”
13:25
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
13:27
Or, any South Africans非洲人, we have Mandela曼德拉 to inspire启发.
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或者,这里有南非人么,我们有曼德拉可以作为启迪。
13:32
Mandela曼德拉, the great man Mandela曼德拉.
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曼德拉,伟人曼德拉。
13:34
He's been honored荣幸 with a statue雕像 now.
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他现在都有一个雕像了。
13:36
The previous以前 highest最高 honor荣誉 he had in Britain英国
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上次他在英国接受的最高荣誉
13:38
was a visit访问 from the team球队 from Ground地面 Force, a gardening园艺 program程序.
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是来自一次陆军的访问,一个园艺的节目。
13:41
"So, Nelson纳尔逊, how would you like a nice不错 water feature特征?"
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“那么,尼尔森,你想要一个漂亮的水景吗?”
13:45
"Ahh, listen to me Mr先生. TitchmarshTitchmarsh."
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“唉,听我说蒂施马奇总理。”
13:49
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
13:51
"I was held保持 in prison监狱
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”我被关在监狱里
13:56
for nearly几乎 30 years年份
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都快30年了
13:59
on an island
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在一个四面环海
14:01
in the middle中间 of the ocean海洋.
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的小岛上。
14:04
Why would I need a bloody血腥 water feature特征?"
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我为什么要一个水景?“
14:07
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑)
14:09
Very quickly很快: I wasn't quite相当 sure how to end结束 this talk
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随便说一下: 我不知道该如何结束这个演讲
14:13
and then yesterday昨天 that man came来了 up with a wonderful精彩 quote引用
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直到昨天,一个人引用了“论日本散文”
14:16
from the "Japanese日本 Essays随笔 on Idleness懒惰"
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中一个美好的句子。
14:18
which哪一个 said it's nice不错 to have something which哪一个 is unfinished未完成
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说到,不完成一件事是美好的
14:20
because it implies暗示 there is still room房间 for growth发展.
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因为这暗示着还有成长的空间。
14:23
Thank you very much indeed确实.
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十分感谢你们。
14:25
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
Translated by Halei Liu
Reviewed by Zhu Jie

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Rory Bremner - Comedian
One of the UK's sharpest funny men, Rory Bremner exposes the lunacies of modern politics with devilishly clever political satire and spot-on impressions of leaders from around the world.

Why you should listen

From pop star to political pundit, Scottish-born satirist Rory Bremner has been channeling famous folks for decades. While the frenetic funny man may be most recognized for his regular cameo on Whose Line is It Anyway? (that was Bremner as Prince Charles on a dating show), his wicked impressions of Tony Blair and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have landed him in popular one-man shows and on BBC news and comedy spots like Mock the Week. Bremner's comedic antics run the gamut between anti-war activism to Monty Python-like goofiness. He recently convinced Labour Party's Margaret Beckett he was Prime Minister Gordon Brown during a controversial phone conversation.

When he's not prank-calling members of Parliament, the tri-lingual comedian writes farcical plays and translates operas from French and German into English. He recently "wit-synced"at The Big Brecht Fest at London's Young Vic Theatre.

More profile about the speaker
Rory Bremner | Speaker | TED.com