TEDxMileHigh
Caitlin Quattromani and Lauran Arledge: How our friendship survives our opposing politics
كه‌یتلین كواترۆمانی و له‌ورێن ئه‌رلێج: .چۆن هاوڕێیه‌تیمان لە پێچەوانەی بۆچوونی سیاسیمان ڕزگاری بوو
Filmed:
Readability: 4.4
1,146,097 views
هێشتا ده‌توانی براده‌ر بیت له‌گه‌ڵ كه‌سێك كه بە هەمان شێوەی تۆ ده‌نگی نه‌داوه؟ بۆكه‌یتلین كواترۆمانی و له‌ورێن ئه‌رلێج كه دوو هاوڕێی نزیكن زۆر جیاواز بیر ده‌كه‌نه‌وه له‌سه‌ر سیاسه‌ت، له ده‌رئه‌نجامی هه‌ڵبژاردنی سه‌رۆكایه‌تی ئه‌مه‌ریكا ده‌كرا بێڕێز و نه‌یار بونایه. له‌بری ئه‌وه دیالۆگیان هه‌ڵبژارد-- و چه‌ند تاكتیكێكی ساده‌مان فێر ده‌كه‌ن كه .به‌كاری ده‌هێنن بۆ ئه‌وه‌ی هاوڕێیه‌تییه دوڵایه‌نیه‌كه‌یان بپارێزن
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
Caitlin Quattromani: The election
of 2016 felt different.
of 2016 felt different.
0
861
3183
كه‌یتلین كواترۆمانی: هه‌ڵبژاردنه‌كانی
.٢٠١٦جیاواز بوو
.٢٠١٦جیاواز بوو
00:16
Political conversations
with our family and friends
with our family and friends
1
4578
3023
مشتومره سیاسیه‌كان له‌گه‌ڵ
خێزان و هاوڕێكانمان
خێزان و هاوڕێكانمان
00:19
uncovered a level of polarization
2
7625
1786
ئاستێكی جه‌مسه‌رگیری ده‌رخست
00:21
that many of us had not
previously experienced.
previously experienced.
3
9435
2594
.كه زۆربه‌مان پێشتر ئه‌زمونمان نه‌كردبوو
00:24
People who we always thought
were reasonable and intelligent
were reasonable and intelligent
4
12670
3523
ئه‌و كه‌سانه‌ی هه‌میشه پێمان وابوو
به‌رپسیار و زیره‌كن
به‌رپسیار و زیره‌كن
00:28
seemed like strangers.
5
16217
1585
.وەک نامۆ دەرکەوتن
00:29
We said to ourselves,
"How could you think that?
"How could you think that?
6
17826
2659
به‌خۆمان گووت
چۆن ده‌بێت وه‌ها بیربكه‌یته‌وه؟
چۆن ده‌بێت وه‌ها بیربكه‌یته‌وه؟
00:32
I thought you were smart."
7
20509
1872
.پێم وابوو زیره‌كیت
00:34
Lauran Arledge: Caitlin and I met
in the summer of 2011,
in the summer of 2011,
8
22405
3393
له‌ورێن ئه‌رلیج: من و كه‌یتلین
.لە هاوینی ٢٠١١ یەکمان ناسی
.لە هاوینی ٢٠١١ یەکمان ناسی
00:37
and we bonded around being working moms
9
25822
1890
ئیشكردن و دایكایه‌تی
پێکیەوەی دەبەستیەوە
پێکیەوەی دەبەستیەوە
00:39
and trying to keep
our very energetic boys busy.
our very energetic boys busy.
10
27736
3066
هه‌وڵمان ده‌دا كوڕه زیته‌ڵه‌كانمان
.سه‌رقاڵ بكه‌ین
.سه‌رقاڵ بكه‌ین
00:42
And we soon found out
we had almost everything in common.
we had almost everything in common.
11
30826
3000
هه‌ر زوو هه‌ستمان به‌وه كرد زۆر شتی
.هاوبەشمان هەیە
.هاوبەشمان هەیە
00:46
From our love of Colorado
to our love of sushi,
to our love of sushi,
12
34318
3493
.له خۆشه‌ویستیمان بۆ كۆلۆرادۆ تا سوشی
00:49
there wasn't much we didn't agree on.
13
37835
2070
شتێكی ئه‌وتۆ نه‌بوو كۆك نه‌بین له‌سه‌ری
00:52
We also discovered that we share
a deep love of this country
a deep love of this country
14
40661
2993
هه‌ستمان به‌وه‌كرد خۆشه‌ویستیه‌كی
قوڵمان هه‌یه بۆ ئه‌م ووڵاته
قوڵمان هه‌یه بۆ ئه‌م ووڵاته
00:55
and feel a responsibility
to be politically active.
to be politically active.
15
43678
2960
هه‌ستمان بە به‌رپرسیاره‌تی کرد
.تا لە ڕوی سیاسییەوە چالاکبین
.تا لە ڕوی سیاسییەوە چالاکبین
00:59
But no one's perfect --
16
47256
1651
به‌ڵام هیچ كه‌س پێرفێكت نیه
01:00
(Laughter)
17
48931
1048
(پێكه‌نین)
01:02
and I soon found out
two disappointing things about Caitlin.
two disappointing things about Caitlin.
18
50003
4003
هه‌ر زوو ده‌رباره‌ی دوو شتی
.کەیتڵین، بێهیوابووم
.کەیتڵین، بێهیوابووم
01:06
First, she hates camping.
19
54030
2623
.یه‌كه‌م، ڕقی له كامپینگ بوو
01:08
CQ: I think camping is the worst.
20
56677
2048
.ك.ك: پێم وایه گامپینگ خراپترین شته
01:10
LA: So there would not be
any joint camping trips in our future.
any joint camping trips in our future.
21
58749
3618
ل.ئ: ئینجا هیچ كامپێكیمان
.نابێت له داهاتوو
.نابێت له داهاتوو
01:15
The second thing is that
she's politically active all right --
she's politically active all right --
22
63081
3660
دوهه‌م شت، كه‌سێكی چالاكه له سیاسه‌تدا
01:18
as a conservative.
23
66765
1220
.وه‌كو موحافیزكارێك
01:20
CQ: I may hate camping,
but I love politics.
but I love politics.
24
68590
3302
ك.ك: له‌وانه‌یه ڕقم له كامپینگ بێت
.به‌ڵام سیاسه‌تم خۆش ده‌وێت
.به‌ڵام سیاسه‌تم خۆش ده‌وێت
01:23
I listen to conservative talk radio
just about every day,
just about every day,
25
71916
3205
ڕۆژانه له ڕادیۆ گوێ
،له بابه‌تی محافیزكاری دەگرم
،له بابه‌تی محافیزكاری دەگرم
01:27
and I've volunteered for a few different
conservative political campaigns.
conservative political campaigns.
26
75145
3699
وە خۆبه‌خشانه كارم كردووه له
.چه‌ند كامپێنێكی موحافیزكاره‌كان
.چه‌ند كامپێنێكی موحافیزكاره‌كان
01:31
LA: And I'd say I'm a little to the left,
27
79311
2302
،ل.ئ: وه من كه‌مێك به‌ره‌و چه‌پڕه‌ویم
01:33
like all the way to the left.
28
81637
1414
.مەبەستم ئەوەیە، زۆر چەپم
01:35
(Laughter)
29
83075
1579
(پێكه‌نین)
01:36
I've always been interested in politics.
30
84678
2096
.هه‌میشه حه‌زم له سیاسه‌ت بووه
01:38
I was a political science major,
31
86798
1578
،پسپۆڕیشم له‌زانسته سیاسیه‌كانه
01:40
and I worked as a community organizer
and on a congressional campaign.
and on a congressional campaign.
32
88400
3383
كارم كردووه وه‌كو ڕێكخه‌ری كۆمه‌ڵه‌یه‌ك
.و كامپینی كۆنگرێس
.و كامپینی كۆنگرێس
01:44
CQ: So as Lauran and I
were getting to know each other,
were getting to know each other,
33
92178
2650
ك.ك: كاتێ من و له‌ورێن یه‌كمان ناسی
01:46
it was right in the middle
of that 2012 presidential campaign,
of that 2012 presidential campaign,
34
94852
2923
له ناوه‌ڕاستی كه‌مپینی
،سه‌رۆكایه‌تی 2016 بوو
،سه‌رۆكایه‌تی 2016 بوو
01:49
and most of our early
political conversations
political conversations
35
97799
2493
زۆربه‌ی ئاخاوتنه سیاسیه‌كانی پێشومان
01:52
were really just based
in jokes and pranks.
in jokes and pranks.
36
100316
2515
.له‌سه‌ربنه‌مای گاڵته‌وگه‌پ بوو
01:55
So as an example, I would change
Lauran's computer screen saver
Lauran's computer screen saver
37
103244
3032
بۆنمونه، من شاشه‌ی كۆمپیوته‌ره‌كه‌ی
له‌ورێنم ده‌گۆڕی
له‌ورێنم ده‌گۆڕی
01:58
to a picture of Mitt Romney,
38
106300
1429
،به وێنه‌ی میت ڕۆمینی
01:59
or she would put an Obama
campaign magnet on the back of my car.
campaign magnet on the back of my car.
39
107753
3397
یان ئه‌و ماگنێتی كه‌مپنی ئۆبامای
له پشته‌وه‌ی ئۆتۆمبیله‌كه‌م ده‌دا
له پشته‌وه‌ی ئۆتۆمبیله‌كه‌م ده‌دا
02:03
(Laughter)
40
111174
1011
(پێكه‌نین)
02:04
LA: Car, not minivan.
41
112209
2040
.ل.ئ: ئۆتۆمبیل نه‌ك پاسی بچووک
02:06
CQ: But over time,
those conversations grew more serious
those conversations grew more serious
42
114273
3008
ك.ك: به تێپه‌ربوونی كات
ئه‌و گفتوگۆیانه جدی تر بوون
ئه‌و گفتوگۆیانه جدی تر بوون
02:09
and really became
a core of our friendship.
a core of our friendship.
43
117305
2659
و بوونه ناواخنی هاوڕێیه‌تیه‌كه‌مان
02:11
And somewhere along the line,
44
119988
1418
،شوێنێك به درێژای هێڵه‌كه
02:13
we decided we didn't want to have
any topic be off limits for discussion,
any topic be off limits for discussion,
45
121430
3979
بڕیارمان دا هیچ شتی سنوردار نه‌كه‌ین و
.گفتوگۆ لەسەر هه‌موو شت
.گفتوگۆ لەسەر هه‌موو شت
02:17
even if those topics pushed us way
outside of our friendship comfort zone.
outside of our friendship comfort zone.
46
125433
4174
ته‌نانه‌ت گه‌ر پاڵمان بنێنە ده‌ره‌وه‌ی
.ناوچه‌ی ئارامی هاورێیه‌تییەکەمانەوە
.ناوچه‌ی ئارامی هاورێیه‌تییەکەمانەوە
02:21
LA: And so to most of us,
47
129911
1204
ل.ئ: بۆ زۆربه‌مان
02:23
political conversations
are a zero-sum game.
are a zero-sum game.
48
131139
2596
.مشتومڕی سیاسی یاریه‌كی بێ ئه‌نجامه
02:25
There's a winner and there's a loser.
49
133759
1977
.دۆڕاو و براوە هەن
02:27
We go for the attack and we spot
a weakness in someone's argument.
a weakness in someone's argument.
50
135760
3253
هێرش ده‌كه‌ین و خاڵی لاواز
له به‌رامبه‌ره‌كه‌ماندا ده‌دۆزینه‌وه
له به‌رامبه‌ره‌كه‌ماندا ده‌دۆزینه‌وه
02:31
And here's the important part:
51
139037
1483
ئه‌مه‌ش گرنگترین به‌شه
02:32
we tend to take every comment
or opinion that's expressed
or opinion that's expressed
52
140544
3096
ده‌مانه‌وێت هه‌موو كۆمێنت و
.بۆچوونێك وه‌رگرین
.بۆچوونێك وه‌رگرین
02:35
as a personal affront
to our own values and beliefs.
to our own values and beliefs.
53
143664
3086
وه‌ك هه‌وڵێكی كه‌سی
.له پێناو نرخ و به‌های خۆمان
.له پێناو نرخ و به‌های خۆمان
02:39
But what if changed the way
we think about these conversations?
we think about these conversations?
54
147517
3103
به‌ڵام چی ده‌بێت گه‌ر بۆچونمان بگۆرین
ده‌رباره‌ی ئاخاوتنه‌كانمان؟
ده‌رباره‌ی ئاخاوتنه‌كانمان؟
02:43
What if, in these heated moments,
55
151215
2262
ئه‌ی ئه‌گه‌ر له ساتی ڕق لێبوونه‌وه
02:45
we chose dialogue over debate?
56
153501
2277
دایه‌لۆگ هه‌ڵبژێرین له بڕی مشتومڕ؟
02:48
When we engage in dialogue,
we flip the script.
we flip the script.
57
156786
2880
كاتێ دایه‌لۆگ ده‌كه‌ین
ده‌ستنوسه‌كه ده‌گۆڕین
ده‌ستنوسه‌كه ده‌گۆڕین
02:52
We replace our ego and our desire to win
58
160298
2777
حه‌ز و خۆ په‌سه‌ندیمان بۆ سه‌ركه‌تن
ده‌گۆڕێ
ده‌گۆڕێ
02:55
with curiosity, empathy
59
163099
2079
به هاوسۆزی و تێگه‌یشتن
02:57
and a desire to learn.
60
165202
1485
.و حه‌زی فێربوون
02:58
Instead of coming
from a place of judgment,
from a place of judgment,
61
166711
2066
له‌بڕی شوێنی بڕیاردان
03:00
we are genuinely interested
in the other person's experiences,
in the other person's experiences,
62
168801
3872
به‌ڕاستی حه‌ز ده‌كه‌ین
،ئه‌زمونی كه‌سانی تر بكه‌ین
،ئه‌زمونی كه‌سانی تر بكه‌ین
03:04
their values and their concerns.
63
172697
2000
گرنگی و به‌هایان
03:07
CQ: You make it sound so simple, Lauran.
64
175220
2142
ك.ك: تۆ زۆر به ساده‌ی باسی
.دەکەیت له‌وران
.دەکەیت له‌وران
03:09
But getting to that place
of true dialogue is hard,
of true dialogue is hard,
65
177781
2821
.به‌ڵام گه‌یشتن به خاڵی دیالۆگ زه‌حمه‌ته
03:12
especially when we're talking
about politics.
about politics.
66
180626
2411
.به تایبه‌ت كاتێ باسی سیاسه‌ت ده‌كه‌ین
03:15
It is so easy to get emotionally fired up
67
183061
2615
زۆر به ئاسانی هه‌ڵده‌چین
03:17
about issues that we're passionate about,
68
185700
2116
ده‌رباره‌ی ئه‌و بابه‌تانه‌ی
،سۆزمان هه‌یه بۆیان
،سۆزمان هه‌یه بۆیان
03:19
and we can let our ego
get in the way of truly hearing
get in the way of truly hearing
69
187840
2935
و ده‌توانین وا له خۆپه‌سه‌ندی خۆمان
بكه‌ین به‌راستی
بكه‌ین به‌راستی
03:22
the other person's perspective.
70
190799
1733
. بۆچونی خه‌ڵكانی دیكه ببیستێت
03:24
And in this crazy political climate
we're in right now,
we're in right now,
71
192556
2573
له‌م كه‌شه شێتانه‌یه‌ی
،ئێستای سیاسه‌تدا
،ئێستای سیاسه‌تدا
03:27
unfortunately, we're seeing
an extreme result
an extreme result
72
195153
2792
بەداخەوە، ئێمه ئه‌وپه‌ری ده‌رئه‌نجامی
03:29
of those heated political conversations,
73
197969
2346
.مشتومری سیاسی توند ده‌بینین
03:32
to the point where people are willing
to walk away from their relationships.
to walk away from their relationships.
74
200339
3969
به‌جۆرێ خه‌ڵكی حه‌ز ده‌كه‌ن
.له‌په‌یوه‌ندیه‌كانیان دوربکەونەوە
.له‌په‌یوه‌ندیه‌كانیان دوربکەونەوە
03:36
In fact, Rasmussen released
a poll earlier this year
a poll earlier this year
75
204332
2969
ڕاسمسن سەرەتای ئەمساڵ
ڕاپرسییەکی بڵاوکردەوە
ڕاپرسییەکی بڵاوکردەوە
03:39
that said 40 percent of people
reported that the 2016 election
reported that the 2016 election
76
207325
4714
ده‌ڵێ سه‌دا 40 خه‌ڵك گوتویانه
هه‌ڵبژاردنی 2016
هه‌ڵبژاردنی 2016
03:44
negatively impacted
a personal relationship,
a personal relationship,
77
212063
3024
كاریگه‌ری نه‌رێنی هه‌بووه له‌سه‌ر
،په‌یوه‌ندیه كه‌سیه‌كانیان
،په‌یوه‌ندیه كه‌سیه‌كانیان
03:47
and the Journal of Cognitive
Neuroscience tells us
Neuroscience tells us
78
215111
2436
ڕۆژنامه‌ی كۆگنه‌تیڤ
نیۆرۆساینس پێمان ده‌ڵێت
نیۆرۆساینس پێمان ده‌ڵێت
03:49
that people tend to feel
their way to their beliefs
their way to their beliefs
79
217571
2929
خه‌ڵك پارێزگاری له
بیروباوه‌ڕیان ده‌كه‌ن
بیروباوه‌ڕیان ده‌كه‌ن
به‌هۆی هه‌ست و سۆزیان
.زیاتر له ژیریان
.زیاتر له ژیریان
03:52
rather than using reasoning,
80
220524
1713
03:54
and that when reason and emotion collide,
81
222261
3057
.کاتێک هه‌ست و ژیری به‌ریه‌ك ده‌كه‌ون
03:57
it's emotion that invariably wins.
82
225342
2420
.به دڵنیایه‌وه هه‌ست سه‌رده‌كه‌وێ
03:59
So no wonder it's hard
to talk about these issues.
to talk about these issues.
83
227786
2579
به‌بێ سه‌رسورمان، باسکردنی ئەم بابەتانە
.زۆر قورسه
.زۆر قورسه
04:02
LA: And look, we're just
two regular friends
two regular friends
84
230389
2049
.ڵ.ئ: سه‌یركه ئێمه دوو هاورێی ئاساین
04:04
who happen to think very differently
85
232462
2310
.ڕێكه‌وتی كردووه زۆر جیاواز بیركه‌ینه‌وه
04:06
about politics and the role
that government should play in our lives.
that government should play in our lives.
86
234796
3300
له‌سه‌ر سیاسه‌ت و ڕۆڵی
.حكومه‌ت له‌سه‌ر ژیانمان
.حكومه‌ت له‌سه‌ر ژیانمان
04:10
And I know we were all taught
not to talk about politics
not to talk about politics
87
238415
2636
هموومان پێمان ده‌گوترێت
باسی سیاسه‌ت نه‌كه‌ین
باسی سیاسه‌ت نه‌كه‌ین
04:13
because it's not polite,
88
241075
1444
.چونكه له‌گه‌ڵ ڕه‌وشت ناگونجێ
04:14
but we need to be able to talk about it,
89
242543
1913
به‌ڵام پێویسته بتوانین
.باسی بکەین
.باسی بکەین
04:16
because it's important to us
and it's a part of who we are.
and it's a part of who we are.
90
244480
3155
چونكه گرنگه بۆمان و به‌شێكه
.له بوونمان
.له بوونمان
04:19
CQ: We have chosen
to avoid political debate
to avoid political debate
91
247659
2762
ك.ك: بڕیارمان داوه
.مشتومڕ لەسەر سیاسه‌ت نه‌كه‌ین
.مشتومڕ لەسەر سیاسه‌ت نه‌كه‌ین
04:22
and instead engage in dialogue
92
250445
2223
.له بڕی ئه‌وه دیالۆگ بكه‌ین
04:24
in order to maintain what we fondly call
93
252692
2541
بۆ ئه‌وه‌ی ئەو شتە بپارێزین
کە ناومان ناوە
کە ناومان ناوە
04:27
our bipartisan friendship.
94
255257
1777
هاوڕێیەتی و سازانی
.دوولایەنە
.دوولایەنە
04:29
(Laughter)
95
257058
1730
(پێكه‌نین)
04:30
LA: And this election
and all of the craziness that has followed
and all of the craziness that has followed
96
258812
3008
ل.ئ: ئه‌و هه‌ڵبژاردنه و ئه‌و
گێژاوه‌ی به‌دووی خۆیدا هێنای
گێژاوه‌ی به‌دووی خۆیدا هێنای
04:33
has given us several opportunities
to practice this skill.
to practice this skill.
97
261844
3029
زۆر هه‌لی باشی پێبه‌خشین
:تا كار به‌م لێزانینەمان بكه‌ین
:تا كار به‌م لێزانینەمان بكه‌ین
04:36
(Laughter)
98
264897
1842
(پێكه‌نین)
04:38
Let's start with January
and the Women's March.
and the Women's March.
99
266763
2192
با لە ڕێپێوانی ژنانەوە
.دەستپێبەین لە بەنایەر
.دەستپێبەین لە بەنایەر
04:40
At this point, you can probably guess
which one of us participated.
which one of us participated.
100
268979
3427
له‌م خاڵه‌دا، ده‌توانین پێشبینی بكه‌ی
.كێ له ئێمه به‌شداری كردووه
.كێ له ئێمه به‌شداری كردووه
04:44
(Laughter)
101
272430
1343
(پێكه‌نین)
04:45
CQ: Oh, the Women's March.
102
273797
1969
.ك.ك: ئو ڕێپێوانی ژنان
04:47
I was annoyed and irritated
that entire day,
that entire day,
103
275790
2802
به درێژای ڕۆژه‌كه
،بێزار و وه‌ره‌س بووم
،بێزار و وه‌ره‌س بووم
04:50
really because of two things.
104
278616
1791
.به‌ڕاستی له‌به‌ر دوو شت
04:52
Number one, the name "Women's March."
105
280431
2865
.یه‌كه‌م، ناوه‌كه‌ی ڕێپێوانی ئافره‌تان
،وه‌كو ئافره‌تێكی موحافیزكار
04:55
As a conservative woman,
106
283320
1236
04:56
the march's platform of issues
didn't represent me,
didn't represent me,
107
284580
2992
پلاتفۆرمی ڕێپێوانه‌كه
،نوێنه‌رایه‌تی منی نەدەکرد
،نوێنه‌رایه‌تی منی نەدەکرد
04:59
and that's OK,
108
287596
1174
،ئه‌وه باشه
05:00
but hearing it talked about
as this demonstration of sisterhood
as this demonstration of sisterhood
109
288794
3271
به‌ڵام به بیستنی ئه‌وه‌ی
كه ئه‌م خۆپیشاندانه بۆخوشكایه‌تی
كه ئه‌م خۆپیشاندانه بۆخوشكایه‌تی
05:04
and solidarity for all women
110
292089
1667
و پاڵپشتی هه‌موو ژنانه
05:05
didn't ring true for me.
111
293780
1659
.بۆ من ڕاست نەبوو
05:07
The other piece
was the timing of the event,
was the timing of the event,
112
295463
2049
،به‌شێكی دیكه كاتی ڕووداوه‌كه‌یه
05:09
the fact that it was the day
after the presidential inauguration.
after the presidential inauguration.
113
297536
3308
له ڕاستیدا ئه‌مه ڕۆژێك دوای
.ده‌ست به‌كاربوونی سه‌رۆك بوو
.ده‌ست به‌كاربوونی سه‌رۆك بوو
05:12
It felt like we weren't even
giving the new administration
giving the new administration
114
300868
2716
وا هه‌ستم ده‌كرد ته‌نانه‌ت
به‌رێوه‌به‌رایه‌تی نوێ
به‌رێوه‌به‌رایه‌تی نوێ
05:15
to actually do anything, good or bad,
115
303608
2153
هیچ كارێكیان نه‌كردووه
،باش یان خراپ
،باش یان خراپ
05:17
before people felt the need
to demonstrate against it.
to demonstrate against it.
116
305785
2730
پێش ئه‌وه‌ی خه‌ڵك درك به
.پێویستی خۆپێشاندان بكه‌ن دژی
.پێویستی خۆپێشاندان بكه‌ن دژی
05:20
LA: And under normal circumstances,
I would agree with Caitlin.
I would agree with Caitlin.
117
308886
2954
ل.ئ: له هه‌لومه‌رجی ئاسای دا
.هه‌مان بۆچوونی كایته‌لینم هه‌یه
.هه‌مان بۆچوونی كایته‌لینم هه‌یه
05:23
I think an administration
does deserve the benefit of the doubt.
does deserve the benefit of the doubt.
118
311864
3001
پێم وایه به‌ڕێوه به‌رایه‌تیه‌كه
.شایانی گومانلێکردنە
.شایانی گومانلێکردنە
05:26
But in this case, I was marching
to show my concern
to show my concern
119
314889
3267
له‌م باره‌دا، ڕێپێوانم ده‌كرد بۆ ئه‌وه‌ی
دڵسۆزی خۆم نیشان بده‌م
دڵسۆزی خۆم نیشان بده‌م
05:30
that a man with such a poor track record
with women and other groups
with women and other groups
120
318180
3469
كه پیاوێك به‌و هه‌موو پێشینه خراپه‌ی
له‌گه‌ڵ ژن و گروپه‌كاتی ترهه‌یه‌تی
له‌گه‌ڵ ژن و گروپه‌كاتی ترهه‌یه‌تی
05:33
had been elected as president.
121
321673
1514
.هه‌ڵبژێردراوه وه‌كو سه‌رۆك
05:35
I had to be part of the collective voice
122
323825
1968
پێویسته به‌شێك بم
.له‌و ده‌نگه گشتگیره
.له‌و ده‌نگه گشتگیره
05:37
that wanted to send a clear message
to the new president
to the new president
123
325817
2942
كه ده‌یانویست په‌یامێكی ڕوون بنێرن
بۆ سه‌رۆكه نوێیه‌كه
بۆ سه‌رۆكه نوێیه‌كه
05:40
that we did not accept or condone
124
328783
2264
که ئێمه قبوڵمان نیه و خۆشنابین
05:43
his behavior or rhetoric
during the election.
during the election.
125
331071
2456
له‌هه‌ڵسوكه‌وت و خۆبه‌زلزانینەکەی
.كاتی هه‌ڵبژاردن
.كاتی هه‌ڵبژاردن
05:46
CQ: So I'm already feeling
kind of aggravated,
kind of aggravated,
126
334065
2558
ك.ك: من هه‌ست به جۆرێ له
،توڕه‌بوون ده‌كه‌م
،توڕه‌بوون ده‌كه‌م
05:48
and then I see this Facebook from Lauran
pop up in my social media feed.
pop up in my social media feed.
127
336647
4413
ئینجا فه‌یسبوكه‌كه‌ی له‌ورێن
.ده‌بینم به بابه‌تی نوێوه
.ده‌بینم به بابه‌تی نوێوه
05:53
(Laughter)
128
341084
1007
(پێكه‌نین)
05:54
Seeing Lauran's sons at the march
and holding signs
and holding signs
129
342115
3317
ده‌بینم كوڕه‌كه‌ی له‌ورێن له ڕێپێواه‌كه
دروشمی هه‌ڵگرتووه
دروشمی هه‌ڵگرتووه
05:57
took it to a new level for me,
and not in a good way,
and not in a good way,
130
345456
3294
ئەمە بە ڕێگەیەکی خراپ
،منی بردە ئاستێکی دیکەوە
،منی بردە ئاستێکی دیکەوە
06:00
because I know these boys,
131
348774
1596
،چونكه ئه‌م كوڕانه ده‌ناسم
06:02
I love these boys,
132
350394
1436
،ئه‌و كوڕانه‌م خۆش ده‌وێن
06:03
and I didn't feel they were old enough
133
351854
1882
و هه‌ست ناكه‌م ته‌مه‌نیان گونجاو بێت
06:05
to understand what the march stood for.
134
353760
1912
بۆ ئه‌وه‌ی تێبگه‌ن ڕێپێوان
.مانای چییه
.مانای چییه
06:07
I didn't understand
why Lauran would choose
why Lauran would choose
135
355696
2047
تێناگه‌م بۆ له‌ورێن ڕیگەیدان
06:09
to have them participate in that way,
136
357767
1793
بەم جۆرە بەشداری بکەن
06:11
and I assumed it wasn't a choice
that the boys made for themselves.
that the boys made for themselves.
137
359584
3324
وه‌ها تێده‌گه‌م ئه‌مه هه‌ڵبژارده‌ی
.كوڕه‌كان نییه
.كوڕه‌كان نییه
06:14
But I also know Lauran.
138
362932
2378
.هه‌روه‌ها له‌ورێنیش ده‌ناسم
06:17
You're an incredible mom
139
365334
1215
تۆ دایکێکی زۆر باشیت
06:18
who would never exploit
your boys in any way,
your boys in any way,
140
366573
2535
هه‌رگیز كوڕه‌كانت بەمجۆرە
،به‌كار ناهێنیت
،به‌كار ناهێنیت
پێویستبووهه‌ڵوه‌سته‌یه‌ك بكه‌م
.چێكی خۆم بكه‌م
.چێكی خۆم بكه‌م
06:21
so I had to stop and check myself.
141
369132
1747
06:22
I had a decision to make.
142
370903
1664
.ده‌بوو بڕیارێك بده‌م
06:24
I could take the easy way out
143
372591
1604
ده‌متوانی ڕێگە ئاسانەکە
هەڵبژێرم بۆ هەڵهاتن
هەڵبژێرم بۆ هەڵهاتن
06:26
and just choose
not to say anything to her,
not to say anything to her,
144
374219
2750
،هیچ شـێكیش به‌و نه‌ڵێم
06:28
and instead just kind of simmer
in my frustration,
in my frustration,
145
376993
3017
له بری ئه‌وه توڕه‌ییه‌كه‌م
،هێور بێته‌وه
،هێور بێته‌وه
یان لەبارەی هۆکارەکانییەوە
.پرسیاری لێبكه‌م
.پرسیاری لێبكه‌م
06:32
or I could ask her to learn more
about her motivations.
about her motivations.
146
380034
3207
06:35
LA: And I shared with Caitlin
147
383265
1382
ل.ئ: له‌گه‌ڵ كه‌یتلین قسەم كرد
06:36
that we actually started
talking about the March
talking about the March
148
384671
2309
باسی ڕێپێوانه‌كه‌مان كرد
06:39
weeks before we participated.
149
387004
1646
چه‌ن هه‌فته‌یه‌ك پێشتر
.به‌شدار بووین
.به‌شدار بووین
06:40
And my boys were curious
as to why the event was being organized,
as to why the event was being organized,
150
388674
3204
كوڕه‌كانم زۆر تامه‌زرۆ بوون
،بۆ ئیڤێنته‌كه ڕێكده‌خرا
،بۆ ئیڤێنته‌كه ڕێكده‌خرا
06:43
and this led to some
very interesting family conversations.
very interesting family conversations.
151
391902
3205
ئەمە ڕایکێشاینە ناو چەند بابەتێکی
.خێزانیی سەرەنجڕاکێشەەوە
.خێزانیی سەرەنجڕاکێشەەوە
06:47
We talked about how in this country,
we have the right and the privilege
we have the right and the privilege
152
395583
3524
قسەمان لەسەر ماف و ئیمتییازەکانی
ئەم وڵاتە کرد
ئەم وڵاتە کرد
06:51
to demonstrate against
something we don't agree with,
something we don't agree with,
153
399131
2722
بۆ خۆپێشاندان له دژی ئه‌و شتانه‌ی
،هاوڕانین له‌گه‌ڵی
،هاوڕانین له‌گه‌ڵی
06:53
and my husband shared with them
why he thought it was so important
why he thought it was so important
154
401877
3112
هاوسه‌ره‌كه‌م پێیانی ڕاگه‌یاند
گرنگی ئەوە لە کوێدایە
گرنگی ئەوە لە کوێدایە
06:57
that men joined the Women's March.
155
405013
1950
پیاوان به‌شداری ڕێپێوانی
.ئافره‌تان بكه‌ن
.ئافره‌تان بكه‌ن
06:58
But the most significant reason
we marched as a family
we marched as a family
156
406987
2881
به‌ڵام له هه‌مووی گرنگتر
وه‌كو خێزانێك ڕێپێوانمان كرد
وه‌كو خێزانێك ڕێپێوانمان كرد
07:01
is that it was a way for us to honor
my parents' legacy.
my parents' legacy.
157
409892
3110
ڕێگایه‌ك بوو بۆ شه‌ره‌فمه‌ندی
.سپارده‌ی دایك وباوكمان
.سپارده‌ی دایك وباوكمان
07:05
They spent their careers
158
413367
1473
هەموو کارەکانیان لە پێناو
07:06
working to defend the rights
of some of our most vulnerable citizens,
of some of our most vulnerable citizens,
159
414864
3884
پارێزگاری كردن له مافی
،هاولاتیانی بێ ده‌سه‌ڵات بوو
،هاولاتیانی بێ ده‌سه‌ڵات بوو
07:10
and they passed these values
down to me and my brother,
down to me and my brother,
160
418772
2573
ئه‌م به‌هایانه‌یان بۆ
.من و براكه‌م جێهێشت
.من و براكه‌م جێهێشت
ئێمه‌ش ده‌مانه‌وێت هه‌مان شت
.بكه‌ین بۆ كوڕه‌كانمان
.بكه‌ین بۆ كوڕه‌كانمان
07:13
and we want to do the same with our sons.
161
421369
2154
07:15
CQ: After talking to Lauran,
162
423547
1339
ك.ك: پاش قسه‌كردن
،له‌گه‌ڵ له‌ورێن
،له‌گه‌ڵ له‌ورێن
07:16
I really understood not only
why she felt it was so important to march,
why she felt it was so important to march,
163
424910
3857
تێگه‌یشتم نه‌ك ته‌نها
،له گرنگی ڕێپێوانه‌كه لای ئه‌و
،له گرنگی ڕێپێوانه‌كه لای ئه‌و
07:20
but why she had her boys with her.
164
428791
1889
.به‌ڵكو بۆ كوڕه‌كانیشی له‌گه‌ڵ بووه
07:22
And frankly, my assumptions were wrong.
165
430704
2247
،ڕاشكاوانه دەڵێم
گریمانه‌كنم هه‌ڵه بوون
گریمانه‌كنم هه‌ڵه بوون
07:24
It was the boys who wanted to march
166
432975
1705
كوڕه‌كان
ده‌یانویست ڕێپێوان بكه‌ن
ده‌یانویست ڕێپێوان بكه‌ن
07:26
after they talked about
the issues as a family.
the issues as a family.
167
434704
2191
پاش ئه‌وه‌ی وەک خێزانێک
.قسەیان لەسەر کردبوو
.قسەیان لەسەر کردبوو
به‌ڵام له هه‌مووی گرنگتر
له‌سه‌ر ئه‌م نمونه‌یه
له‌سه‌ر ئه‌م نمونه‌یه
07:29
But what's most important
about this example
about this example
168
437343
2108
ئه‌وه‌یه بیر له
،بژارده‌كانی دیکە بكه‌ینه‌وه
،بژارده‌كانی دیکە بكه‌ینه‌وه
07:31
is to think about the alternative.
169
439475
1801
07:33
Had Lauran and I not talked about it,
170
441300
1819
گەر قسەمان لەسەری نەکردایە
07:35
I would have been annoyed with her,
171
443143
1668
،بێزار دەبووم له‌گه‌ڵ ئه‌و
07:36
and it could have resulted
in an undercurrent of disrespect
in an undercurrent of disrespect
172
444835
2777
لە ئەنجامدا كۆمه‌ڵێك
بێرێزی لێده‌كه‌وته‌وه
بێرێزی لێده‌كه‌وته‌وه
.كاری له هاوڕێیه‌تیمان ده‌كرد
07:39
in our friendship.
173
447636
1166
07:40
But by asking Lauran questions,
it allowed us to use dialogue
it allowed us to use dialogue
174
448826
3154
به‌ڵام به‌پرسیار كردن له له‌ورێن
دیالۆگمان به‌كارهێنا
دیالۆگمان به‌كارهێنا
07:44
to get to a place of true understanding.
175
452004
2024
.بۆ ئه‌وه‌ی له‌یه‌كتر بگه‌ین
07:46
Now, to be clear,
176
454383
1569
ئێستا ڕوونتر بڵێم
07:47
our conversation didn't really change
my mind about how I felt about the March,
my mind about how I felt about the March,
177
455976
3865
گفتوگۆكه‌مان هێچ بۆچونی نه‌گۆڕیم له‌سه‌ر
،بیرکردنەوەی من بۆ ڕێپێوانه‌كه
،بیرکردنەوەی من بۆ ڕێپێوانه‌كه
07:51
but it absolutely changed my thinking
around why she brought her boys with her.
around why she brought her boys with her.
178
459865
4140
به‌ڵام به‌دڵنیایه‌وه بۆچونم
،گۆڕا له‌سه‌ر بردنی كوڕه‌كانی
،گۆڕا له‌سه‌ر بردنی كوڕه‌كانی
07:56
And for both of us,
that dialogue allowed us to understand
that dialogue allowed us to understand
179
464029
2985
بۆ هه‌ردووكمان
دیالۆگ وایكرد له یه‌كتر بگه‌ین
دیالۆگ وایكرد له یه‌كتر بگه‌ین
07:59
each other's perspective
about the Women's March
about the Women's March
180
467038
2269
ڕای یه‌كتر بزانین له‌سه‌ر
ڕێپێوانی ئافره‌تان
ڕێپێوانی ئافره‌تان
08:01
even though we disagreed.
181
469331
1317
.هه‌رچه‌ند كۆكیش نه‌بین
08:03
LA: The second topic that challenged
our ability to engage in dialogue
our ability to engage in dialogue
182
471315
3615
ل.ئ: دووه‌م بابەت كه ئاسته‌نگی
دروست كردووه له به‌رده‌م دیالۆگدا
دروست كردووه له به‌رده‌م دیالۆگدا
08:06
was around my need to understand
183
474954
2013
ویستی من بوو بۆ تێگەیشتن لەوەی
08:08
how Caitlin could vote for Trump.
184
476991
1936
.چۆن كه‌یته‌لین ده‌نگی به تره‌مپ داوه
08:11
(Laughter)
185
479498
5262
(پێكه‌نین)
08:17
Caitlin is a successful professional woman
186
485483
3425
كه‌یته‌لین ئافره‌تێكی سه‌ركه‌وتووه
08:20
who is deeply caring and compassionate,
187
488932
2607
كه زۆر به‌سۆزه و گرنگی ده‌دات
08:23
and the Caitlin I know
188
491563
1381
ئه‌م كه‌یته‌لینی من ده‌یناسم
08:24
would never excuse any man
from talking about women
from talking about women
189
492968
3159
هه‌رگیز رێگە نادات
هیچ پیاوێك قسه له‌سه‌ر ژن بكات
هیچ پیاوێك قسه له‌سه‌ر ژن بكات
08:28
the way that Trump did
during the campaign.
during the campaign.
190
496151
2134
به‌وجۆره‌ی ته‌مپ
.كاتی كه‌مپینه‌كه دەیکرد
.كاتی كه‌مپینه‌كه دەیکرد
08:30
It was hard for me to reconcile
these two things in my mind.
these two things in my mind.
191
498751
3059
قورس بوو ئه‌و دوو شته
.جێگایان بێته‌وه له مێشكم
.جێگایان بێته‌وه له مێشكم
08:33
How could you overlook
the things that were said?
the things that were said?
192
501834
2401
چۆن ده‌ڕوانیته ئه‌و شتانه؟
08:36
CQ: So I'm guessing I may not be
the only one here that thought
the only one here that thought
193
504937
2954
ك.ك: پێم وایه من تاكه كه‌سێك نیم
به‌م جۆره بیر بكه‌مه‌وه
به‌م جۆره بیر بكه‌مه‌وه
08:39
we didn't have the best choices
for the presidential election last year.
for the presidential election last year.
194
507915
3382
ئێمه هه‌ڵبژارده‌ی باشترمان
نه‌بوو بۆ هه‌ڵبژاردنی ساڵی پار
نه‌بوو بۆ هه‌ڵبژاردنی ساڵی پار
08:43
(Laughter)
195
511321
1419
(پێكه‌نین)
08:44
The Republican candidate who I did support
didn't make it out of the primary,
didn't make it out of the primary,
196
512764
3896
كاندیدی كۆماریه‌كان كه من پاڵپشتیم
،ده‌كرد ناسراو نه‌بوو
،ده‌كرد ناسراو نه‌بوو
08:48
so when it came time to vote,
I had a decision to make.
I had a decision to make.
197
516684
2794
كه هاته ساتی ده‌نگدان
.پێویست بوو بڕیار بده‌م
.پێویست بوو بڕیار بده‌م
08:51
And you're right,
there were some terrible things
there were some terrible things
198
519784
2287
ڕاست ده‌كه‌یت
زۆر شتی ناخۆش هه‌بوون
زۆر شتی ناخۆش هه‌بوون
08:54
that came out during the Trump campaign,
199
522095
2113
له كاتی بانگه‌شه‌ی تره‌مپ
08:56
so much so that I almost decided
to just abstain
to just abstain
200
524232
2523
خه‌ریك بوو بریار بده‌م
و نه‌چم بۆ ده‌نگدان
و نه‌چم بۆ ده‌نگدان
08:58
rather than voting for president,
201
526779
1585
،ده‌نگ نه‌ده‌م بۆ سه‌رۆك
09:00
something I had never
even considered doing before.
even considered doing before.
202
528388
2754
شتێك كه پێشتر هه‌رگیز بیرم
.لێ نه‌كردووەته‌وه بیكه‌م
.لێ نه‌كردووەته‌وه بیكه‌م
09:03
But ultimately,
I did vote for Donald Trump,
I did vote for Donald Trump,
203
531166
2199
،به‌ڵام دواتر ده‌نگم دا به تره‌مپ
09:05
and for me it was really a vote
for party over person,
for party over person,
204
533389
3521
،بۆ من ده‌نگدان بوو به حزب نه‌ك به كه‌س
09:08
especially recognizing
how important that presidential pick is
how important that presidential pick is
205
536934
3722
ده‌مزانی هه‌ڵبژاردنی
سه‌رۆكایه‌تی چه‌نده گرنگه
سه‌رۆكایه‌تی چه‌نده گرنگه
09:12
on influencing our judicial branch.
206
540680
2000
.كاریگه‌ری هه‌یه له‌سه‌ر دادگه‌ری
09:15
But I shared with Lauran
it was a decision I really wrestled with,
it was a decision I really wrestled with,
207
543328
3175
به‌ڵام به له‌ورێنم گووت
،ململانێنم ده‌كرد له‌گه‌ڵ ئه‌م بڕیاره
،ململانێنم ده‌كرد له‌گه‌ڵ ئه‌م بڕیاره
09:18
and not one that I made lightly.
208
546527
1737
.به سانایی نه‌م دا
09:20
LA: And so after our conversation,
I was struck by a few things.
I was struck by a few things.
209
548856
3407
ل.ئ: دوای گفتوگۆكه‌مان
.به چه‌ند شتێك كاریگه‌ر بووم
.به چه‌ند شتێك كاریگه‌ر بووم
09:24
First, I had fallen victim
to my own confirmation bias.
to my own confirmation bias.
210
552287
3409
یه‌كه‌م بوومه قوربانی
.چه‌سپاندنی لایه‌نگیری خۆم
.چه‌سپاندنی لایه‌نگیری خۆم
09:28
Because of my strong feelings about Trump,
211
556026
2348
.به‌هۆی هه‌ستە به‌تینه‌كه‌م بۆ تره‌مپ
09:30
I had given all Trump voters
the same attributes,
the same attributes,
212
558398
2668
هه‌مان باوه‌ڕم هه‌بوو
،له‌سه‌ر ده‌نگده‌رانی تره‌مپ
،له‌سه‌ر ده‌نگده‌رانی تره‌مپ
09:33
and none of them forgiving.
213
561090
1564
.کەسیان میهرەبان نین
09:34
(Laughter)
214
562678
1150
(پێكه‌نین)
09:35
But knowing Caitlin,
I started to ask questions.
I started to ask questions.
215
563852
3484
به‌ڵام ناسینی كه‌یته‌لین
.وای لێكردم پرسیار بكه‌م
.وای لێكردم پرسیار بكه‌م
09:40
What were Trump voters
really concerned about?
really concerned about?
216
568026
2490
ده‌نگده‌رانی تره‌مپ نیگه‌رانی چین؟
09:42
Under all the divisive language,
what was really going on?
what was really going on?
217
570540
3182
له ژێر ئه‌م هه‌وو زمانی دووبه‌ره‌كیه
چی ڕووده‌دات؟
چی ڕووده‌دات؟
09:46
What could we learn
about ourselves and our country
about ourselves and our country
218
574183
2705
ده‌توانین چی بزانین له‌سه‌ر
خۆمان و وڵاته‌كه‌مان
خۆمان و وڵاته‌كه‌مان
09:48
from this unlikely event?
219
576912
1526
له‌وم ڕوداوە نه‌خوازراوه‌وە؟
09:51
I also learned that we shared
a deep disappointment in this election,
a deep disappointment in this election,
220
579336
4358
پێم وایه هه‌مان هه‌ستی بێهیوای
،به‌ش ده‌كه‌ین له‌م هه‌ڵبژاردنه
،به‌ش ده‌كه‌ین له‌م هه‌ڵبژاردنه
09:55
and that we have growing concerns
about our two-party political system.
about our two-party political system.
221
583718
3570
هه‌ردووكمان نیگه‌رانین له‌و
.سیسته‌می دوو حیزبه سیاسیه
.سیسته‌می دوو حیزبه سیاسیه
09:59
But the most important thing
about this conversation
about this conversation
222
587815
2615
به‌ڵام له هه‌مووی گرنگتر
ده‌رباره‌ی ئه‌م ئاخاوتنه‌مان
ده‌رباره‌ی ئه‌م ئاخاوتنه‌مان
10:02
is that it happened at all.
223
590454
1385
ڕوویان داوه
10:05
Without an open and honest dialogue
between the two of us,
between the two of us,
224
593074
3388
به‌بێ دیالۆگێكی كراوه و ڕاستگۆیانه
له نێوان هه‌ردووکماندا
له نێوان هه‌ردووکماندا
10:08
this election would have been
the elephant in the room
the elephant in the room
225
596486
2652
ئه‌م هه‌ڵبژاردنه ده‌بووه
كێشه‌یه‌كی گه‌وره
كێشه‌یه‌كی گه‌وره
10:11
for the next four years, pun intended.
226
599162
2665
بۆ چوار ساڵی داهاتوو
مه‌به‌ستم ڕه‌گه‌زدۆزیه
مه‌به‌ستم ڕه‌گه‌زدۆزیه
10:13
(Laughter)
227
601851
4420
(پێكه‌نین)
10:18
CQ: So, look --
228
606295
1151
ك.ك: ته‌ماشا كه---
10:19
(Applause)
229
607470
2262
(پێكه‌نین)
10:21
So, look -- we know it takes work
to get past the difficult,
to get past the difficult,
230
609756
3389
ته‌ماشا كه--- ده‌زانین
كاری ده‌وێ بۆ ئه‌وه‌ی ئه‌و سه‌رسه‌ختیانه
كاری ده‌وێ بۆ ئه‌وه‌ی ئه‌و سه‌رسه‌ختیانه
10:25
frustrating and sometimes emotional parts
231
613169
2365
تێپه‌ڕێنین وهه‌ندێ جار هه‌ڵچونه
سۆزداریه‌كانی
سۆزداریه‌كانی
10:27
of having discussions about issues
like the Women's March
like the Women's March
232
615558
2961
مشتومڕه‌كان له‌سه‌ر بابه‌ته‌كانی
وه‌كو ڕێپێوانی ئافره‌تان
وه‌كو ڕێپێوانی ئافره‌تان
10:30
or why your friend may have voted
for a candidate that you can't stand.
for a candidate that you can't stand.
233
618543
4134
یان بۆچی هاوڕێكه‌ت ده‌نگی داوه
.به كاندیدێكی نه‌شیاو
.به كاندیدێكی نه‌شیاو
10:35
But we need to have these conversations.
234
623252
2215
.به‌ڵام پێویسته ئه‌م گفتوگۆیانه هه‌بێت
10:37
Our ability to move past political debate
235
625491
2547
توانامان بۆ گۆڕینی مشتومڕی سیاسی
10:40
into true dialogue
236
628062
1476
بۆ دیالۆگی ڕاسته‌قینه
10:41
is a critical skill we should all
be focused on right now,
be focused on right now,
237
629562
3002
هونه‌رێكی گرنگه هه‌موومان
،ده‌بێت گرنگی پێبده‌ین
،ده‌بێت گرنگی پێبده‌ین
10:44
especially with the people
that we care about the most.
that we care about the most.
238
632588
2696
به تایبه‌ت له‌گه‌ڵ ئەو خه‌ڵكانەی
.گرنگن له لامان
.گرنگن له لامان
10:47
LA: And it's not just as adults
that we need to bottle this behavior.
that we need to bottle this behavior.
239
635904
3263
ل.ئ: تەنها گەورەکان پێویستیان
بەم هەوڵسوکەوتە نییە
بەم هەوڵسوکەوتە نییە
10:51
It's critical that we do it
for our children as well.
for our children as well.
240
639191
2671
به‌ڵكو گرنگە هەمان شت
.لەگەڵ منداڵەکانیشمان بکەین
.لەگەڵ منداڵەکانیشمان بکەین
10:54
My sons were inundated with this election.
241
642203
2670
كوڕه‌كانم بێزاربوون به‌هۆی
.ئه‌م هه‌ڵبژاردنه‌وه
.ئه‌م هه‌ڵبژاردنه‌وه
10:56
We were listening
to the news in the morning,
to the news in the morning,
242
644897
2144
گوێبستی هه‌واڵه‌كان ده‌بووین
،له به‌یانیاندا
،له به‌یانیاندا
10:59
and they were having conversations
with their friends at school.
with their friends at school.
243
647065
3069
باسی ئه‌م بابه‌ته‌یان ده‌كرد له‌گه‌ڵ
.هاوڕێكانیان له قوتابخانه
.هاوڕێكانیان له قوتابخانه
11:02
I was concerned that they were picking up
so much polarizing misinformation,
so much polarizing misinformation,
244
650560
4120
نيگه‌ران بووم چونكه زۆر زانیاری
،ناراستی جه‌مسه‌رگیریان وه‌ه‌رده‌گرت
،ناراستی جه‌مسه‌رگیریان وه‌ه‌رده‌گرت
11:06
and they were growing really fearful
of a Trump presidency.
of a Trump presidency.
245
654704
3078
ترسیان زیاتر ده‌بوو به
.سه‌رۆكایه‌تی تره‌مپ
.سه‌رۆكایه‌تی تره‌مپ
11:10
Then one day, after the election,
I was taking my sons to school,
I was taking my sons to school,
246
658734
4501
،تا ڕۆژێك له دوای هه‌ڵبژاردن
،كوڕه‌كانم ده‌برده قوتابخانه
،كوڕه‌كانم ده‌برده قوتابخانه
11:15
and my younger son,
completely out of the blue,
completely out of the blue,
247
663259
2469
كوڕه گچكه‌كه‌م زۆر
له ناکات گوتی
له ناکات گوتی
11:17
said, "Mom, we don't know anybody
who voted for Trump, right?"
who voted for Trump, right?"
248
665752
4904
دایكه، هیچ كه‌سێ ناناسین
ده‌نگی به تره‌مپ دابێت، وانییه؟
ده‌نگی به تره‌مپ دابێت، وانییه؟
11:22
(Laughter)
249
670680
2969
(پێكه‌نین)
11:25
And I paused and I took a deep breath.
250
673673
3936
وه‌ستام و هه‌ناسه‌یه‌كی
.قوڵم هه‌ڵكێشا
.قوڵم هه‌ڵكێشا
11:30
"Yes, we do."
251
678243
1182
.بەڵێ، دەیناسین
11:31
(Laughter)
252
679449
1000
(پێكه‌نین)
11:32
"The Quattromanis."
253
680473
1150
كواترۆمانیس
11:33
And his response was so great.
254
681944
2069
.وه‌ڵامه‌كه‌ی زۆر سه‌رسورهێنه‌ر بوو
11:36
He kind of got this confused
look on his face, and he said ...
look on his face, and he said ...
255
684037
3190
به جۆرێ سه‌ری لێتێكچوو
-----و گووتی
-----و گووتی
.به‌ڵام ئه‌وانمان خۆشده‌وێت
11:39
"But we love them."
256
687719
1151
11:40
(Laughter)
257
688894
2968
(پێكه‌نین)
11:43
And I answered, "Yes, we do."
258
691886
1793
.وه‌ڵامم داوه به‌ڵێ خۆشمان ده‌وێن
11:45
(Laughter)
259
693703
1054
(پێكه‌نین)
11:46
And then he said,
"Why would they vote for him?"
"Why would they vote for him?"
260
694781
2758
پاشان گووتی
بۆچی ئه‌وان ده‌نگیان به ئه‌و دا؟
بۆچی ئه‌وان ده‌نگیان به ئه‌و دا؟
11:50
And I remember stopping and thinking
261
698412
1716
له‌بیرم دێ وه‌ساتم و بیرم كرده‌وه
11:52
that it was really important
how I answered this question.
how I answered this question.
262
700152
2800
زۆر گرنگ بوو چۆن
.وه‌ڵامی ئه‌و پرسیاره‌م داوه
.وه‌ڵامی ئه‌و پرسیاره‌م داوه
11:55
Somehow, I had to honor
our own family values
our own family values
263
703589
2762
به‌جۆرێ ده‌بوایه ڕێز له
به‌هاكانی خێزانه‌كه‌م بگرم
به‌هاكانی خێزانه‌كه‌م بگرم
11:58
and show respect for our friends.
264
706375
1809
و ڕێز پیشان بده‌م
.بۆ هاوڕێكانم
.بۆ هاوڕێكانم
12:00
So I finally said,
265
708877
1572
،له كۆتایدا گووتم
12:02
"They think that's the right direction
for this country."
for this country."
266
710473
2668
پێیان وایه ئه‌مه ڕێگایه‌كی
.ڕاسته بۆ ئه‌م وڵاته
.ڕاسته بۆ ئه‌م وڵاته
12:05
And before I had even gotten
the whole sentence out,
the whole sentence out,
267
713165
2794
پێش ئه‌وه‌ی هه‌موو
،ڕسته‌كه‌م ته‌واو بكه‌م
،ڕسته‌كه‌م ته‌واو بكه‌م
12:07
he had moved on to the soccer game
he was going to play at recess.
he was going to play at recess.
268
715983
3143
ڕۆیشت بۆ یاری تۆپی پێ
.یاری ده‌كرد له كاتی پشوه‌كه‌ی
.یاری ده‌كرد له كاتی پشوه‌كه‌ی
.ك.ك: ژیان له‌گه‌ڵ كوڕه‌كان
12:11
CQ: So life with boys.
269
719150
1172
12:12
(Laughter)
270
720346
1033
(پێكه‌نین)
12:13
So what Lauran and I have discovered
through our bipartisan friendship
through our bipartisan friendship
271
721403
3360
ئه‌وه‌ی له‌ورێن و من بینیمان
له ڕێگای هاوڕێیه‌تییه دولایه‌نه‌كه‌مان
له ڕێگای هاوڕێیه‌تییه دولایه‌نه‌كه‌مان
12:16
is the possibility that lives in dialogue.
272
724787
2980
.دەتوانین بە دایەلۆگ بژین
12:19
We have chosen to be genuinely curious
273
727791
2342
ئێمه خۆمان هه‌ڵمانبژارد
ڕاستگۆیانه زانینخواز بین
ڕاستگۆیانه زانینخواز بین
12:22
about each other's ideas and perspectives
274
730157
2678
ده‌رباره‌ی بۆچون و تێڕوانینی یه‌كدی
12:24
and to be willing to listen to one another
even when we disagree.
even when we disagree.
275
732859
3820
وه حه‌زبكه‌ین گوێ له یه‌كتر بگرین
.ته‌نانه‌ت ئه‌وكاتنه‌ی كۆكیش نین
.ته‌نانه‌ت ئه‌وكاتنه‌ی كۆكیش نین
12:28
And by putting aside our ego
and our preconceived ideas,
and our preconceived ideas,
276
736703
3125
وه به‌خستنه‌لاوه‌ی خۆپه‌سه‌ندی و
،بۆچونی لایه‌نگیرانه
،بۆچونی لایه‌نگیرانه
12:31
we've opened ourselves up
to limitless learning.
to limitless learning.
277
739852
2563
ده‌ستپێكێكی بێسنورمان
.بۆ فێربوون كرده‌وه
.بۆ فێربوون كرده‌وه
12:34
And perhaps most importantly
for our relationship,
for our relationship,
278
742782
2802
له‌وه‌ش گرنگتر بۆ هاوڕێیه‌تیه‌كه‌مان
12:37
we have made the commitment to each other
279
745608
2032
بەڵێنی خۆپەیوەستکردنمان بەیەک دا
12:39
that our friendship is way more important
280
747664
2865
كه هاوڕێیه‌تیه‌كه‌مان زۆر گرنگتره
12:42
than either of us being right
or winning a conversation about politics.
or winning a conversation about politics.
281
750553
4110
له بردنه‌وه و خۆبه‌ڕاست دانان
.له گفتووگۆیه‌ك له‌سه‌ر سیاسه‌ت
.له گفتووگۆیه‌ك له‌سه‌ر سیاسه‌ت
12:47
So today, we're asking you
to have a conversation.
to have a conversation.
282
755200
3181
ئه‌مرۆ ئێمه داواتان لێده‌كه‌ین
.گفتوگۆ بكه‌ن
.گفتوگۆ بكه‌ن
12:50
Talk to someone outside
of your political party
of your political party
283
758405
2267
قسه له‌گه‌ڵ كه‌سێك كه
له‌ده‌ره‌وه‌ی حزبه‌كه‌ت
له‌ده‌ره‌وه‌ی حزبه‌كه‌ت
ڕه‌نگه دژی
.بیركردنه‌وه‌كانت بێته‌وه
.بیركردنه‌وه‌كانت بێته‌وه
12:52
who might challenge your thinking.
284
760696
1621
12:54
Make an effort to engage with someone
285
762341
1825
هه‌وڵ بده كه‌سێك سه‌رقاڵ بكه‌یت
12:56
with whom you might typically
avoid a political conversation.
avoid a political conversation.
286
764190
2969
كه به تایبه‌ت خۆت له گفتوگۆی
.سیاسی لێ به‌دوورده‌گری
.سیاسی لێ به‌دوورده‌گری
12:59
But remember, the goal isn't to win,
287
767183
2865
،به‌ڵام له‌بیرت بێت
ئامانجه‌كه ئه‌وه نییه ببه‌یته‌وه
ئامانجه‌كه ئه‌وه نییه ببه‌یته‌وه
13:02
the goal is to listen and to understand
288
770072
2638
ئامانجه‌كه گوێگرتنه و تێگه‌یشتن و
13:04
and to be open to learning something new.
289
772734
2250
.ویستی فێربوونی شتی نوێیە
13:07
LA: So let's go back to election night.
290
775767
1963
.ل.ئ: با بهگه‌رێینه‌وه شه‌وی هه‌ڵبژاردن
13:10
As the polls were closing
291
778064
1263
كاتێ ده‌نگدان داده‌خرا
13:11
and it became clear that Trump
was going to be our new president,
was going to be our new president,
292
779351
3309
ڕوون ده‌بویه‌وه تره‌مپ ده‌بێته
،سه‌رۆكه نوێیه‌كه‌مان
،سه‌رۆكه نوێیه‌كه‌مان
13:14
I was devastated.
293
782684
1198
.من وێران بووبووم
13:16
I was sad, I was confused,
294
784665
2631
،خه‌مبار و سه‌رلێشێواو
13:19
and I'll be honest -- I was angry.
295
787320
1784
.ڕاستگۆ تر--- توڕه بووم
13:22
And then just before midnight,
296
790053
1683
،ئینجا كه‌مێك پێش نیوه‌شه‌و
13:23
I received this text message from Caitlin.
297
791760
2357
.نامه‌یه‌كم له كه‌یته‌لینه‌وه بۆهات
13:26
[I know this is a hard night for you guys.
298
794141
3372
.ده‌زانم شه‌وێكی سه‌خته بۆ ئێوه)
13:29
We are thinking of you. Love you.]
299
797537
3104
(.بیر له ئێوه ده‌كه‌ینه‌وه. خۆشم ده‌وێی
13:32
And where there so easy could have been
weeks or months of awkwardness
weeks or months of awkwardness
300
800665
3810
زۆر سانا بوو چه‌ند
هه‌فته‌یه‌ك و مانگێكی ناخۆش
هه‌فته‌یه‌ك و مانگێكی ناخۆش
13:36
and unspoken hostility, there was this --
301
804499
2959
--- و بێ قسه‌ی نه‌خوازراو، ئه‌مه
13:40
an offering of empathy
rooted in friendship.
rooted in friendship.
302
808182
2618
هاوسۆزی ڕه‌گی لە هاوڕێیەتییەکەماندا
.داکوتابوو
.داکوتابوو
13:43
And I knew, in that moment,
that we would make it through this.
that we would make it through this.
303
811734
2953
ده‌مزانی له‌م ساته‌دا، كه
.به‌م ڕێگایه‌مان دا برد
.به‌م ڕێگایه‌مان دا برد
13:47
CQ: So we must find a way
to engage in meaningful conversations
to engage in meaningful conversations
304
815692
3616
ك.ك: پێویسته ڕێگایه‌ك بدۆزینه‌وه
بۆ ئه‌وه‌ی گفتوگۆی مانادار بكه‌ین
بۆ ئه‌وه‌ی گفتوگۆی مانادار بكه‌ین
كه به‌ره‌و پێشه‌وه‌مان ده‌بات
،وه‌ك نه‌ته‌وه‌یه‌ك
،وه‌ك نه‌ته‌وه‌یه‌ك
13:51
that are going to move us
forward as a nation,
forward as a nation,
305
819332
2352
13:53
and we can no longer wait
306
821708
1421
ناتوانین زیاتر چاوه‌ڕێ بین
13:55
for our elected officials
to elevate our national discourse.
to elevate our national discourse.
307
823153
3379
بۆ هه‌ڵبژێرداوه ڕه‌سمیه‌كان
.بۆ به‌رزكردنه‌وی وتاری نه‌ته‌وه‌یی
.بۆ به‌رزكردنه‌وی وتاری نه‌ته‌وه‌یی
13:59
LA: The challenges ahead
are going to require all of us
are going to require all of us
308
827069
3218
ل.ئ: ئاسته‌نگه‌كانی پێشمان
پێویستی به هه‌موان هه‌یه
پێویستی به هه‌موان هه‌یه
14:02
to participate in a deeper
and more meaningful way ...
and more meaningful way ...
309
830311
2904
بۆ به‌شداری كردنێكی
----قوڵتر و مانادارتر
----قوڵتر و مانادارتر
14:05
and it starts with each one of us
310
833950
2278
و لە هەر یەکەمانەوە دەستپێەکات
14:08
building connection through dialogue --
311
836252
2159
په‌یوه‌ندیه‌كانمان له‌سه‌ر
دیالۆگ بنیاتبنێین
دیالۆگ بنیاتبنێین
14:10
in our relationships, our communities
312
838435
3667
له په‌یوه‌ندیه‌كانمان و كۆمه‌ڵگەکانمان
14:14
and as a country.
313
842126
1150
.وەک یەک وڵاتیش
14:16
Thank you.
314
844179
1151
.زۆر سوپاس
14:17
(Applause)
315
845354
6860
(چه‌پڵه لێدان)
ABOUT THE SPEAKERS
Caitlin Quattromani - Marketing leaderWhy you should listen
Caitlin Quattromani is a Colorado native and mom to two elementary school-age boys. She graduated from the University of Denver with an international business degree and has been fortunate to travel the world as a marketing and product leader, including living abroad with her family in Luxembourg. Her professional experience includes working for Amazon and DISH, and she currently leads multicultural marketing for Comcast's West Division office in the Denver area. Quattromani is also a co-founder of Elevate Partners, focused on bringing the power of dialogue to individuals, teams and organizations. She regularly volunteers with Hire Heroes USA, helping active duty military, veterans and their families transition into civilian employment.
Caitlin Quattromani | Speaker | TED.com
Lauran Arledge - Talent development leader
Why you should listen
Lauran Arledge started her career as high school social studies teacher in Wilmington, North Carolina. Over the past 15 years, she has worked in public health violence prevention, community organizing, coaching and organizational development. She currently holds a leadership position in talent development for a Denver-based technology company. In November 2017 she will launch Bold Font Coaching and Consulting which aims to bridge the gap between our personal and professional lives by living from a place of choice, courage, and authenticity. She is also a co-founder of Elevate Partners, focused on bringing the power of dialogue to individuals, teams and organizations.
Lauran Arledge | Speaker | TED.com