ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Nikki Webber Allen - Multimedia producer
Nikki Webber Allen is working to create a safe space for honest conversations about mental health in communities of color.

Why you should listen

Nikki Webber Allen is a two-time Emmy winner with 20 years of experience producing content for media outlets including Warner Bros., HBO, ABC, 20th Century Fox and BET.

In 2013, while working as the vice president of casting and talent relations for the cable network TV One, Webber Allen lost her 22-year old nephew, Paul, to suicide after his years of struggle with depression and anxiety. Since then, she's become a passionate mental health advocate.

In Paul's honor, she launched the nonprofit I LIVE FOR... FOUNDATION, INC. to create a safe space for honest, unapologetic conversations about mental health in communities of color, where the cultural stigma of mental illness discourages far too many people from seeking help. Michael Eric Dyson, advisor to the foundation, has called I LIVE FOR… "an incredibly important organization that offers much-needed support to those who too often suffer in silence."

Webber Allen is currently producing and directing a documentary film featuring a diverse group of compelling young men and women who reject the stigma of mental illness and share candid stories about their experiences living with depression and anxiety. The film is being scored by her husband, musician Jeffrey Allen of the Grammy-nominated R&B band Mint Condition.

In 2016, Webber Allen was one of only 47 people chosen out of more than 1,000 applicants worldwide to receive a coveted scholarship to Marie Forleo's B-School for social entrepreneurs. She has an M.A. in media studies from The New School University in New York, NY and a B.A. in communications from Rutgers University in New Brunswick, NJ.

More profile about the speaker
Nikki Webber Allen | Speaker | TED.com
TED Residency

Nikki Webber Allen: Don't suffer from your depression in silence

妮基·韦伯·艾伦: 不要在沉默中忍受抑郁症的折磨

Filmed:
2,292,266 views

感情丰富并不是软弱的表现——那意味着我们还有人性。制作人和活动家妮基·韦伯·艾伦这样认为。在被诊断患有焦虑症和抑郁症之后,韦伯·艾伦羞于告诉任何人,隐瞒了自己的病情,只到一件家庭悲剧发生,她才得知自己的一位近亲也在忍受同样的痛苦。在这场关于心理健康的演讲中,她公开分享了自己遭受的痛苦,解释了为什么有色人群必须摈弃对于抑郁症的错误解读,停止因为羞愧而不去寻求帮助的错误做法。
- Multimedia producer
Nikki Webber Allen is working to create a safe space for honest conversations about mental health in communities of color. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

你站在这个舞台上做什么?
00:12
What are you doing on this stage阶段
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还当着这么多人的面?
00:17
in front面前 of all these people?
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00:20
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
00:21
Run!
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快逃!
00:23
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
马上逃跑!
00:24
Run now.
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00:26
That's the voice语音 of my anxiety焦虑 talking.
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这是我内心的紧张情绪在说话。
即便一切都进行得很顺利,
00:30
Even when there's absolutely绝对
nothing wrong错误,
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00:33
I sometimes有时 get
this overwhelming压倒 sense of doom厄运,
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我也经常会有这种巨大的挫败感,
00:37
like danger危险 is lurking潜伏
just around the corner.
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总觉得危险无处不在。
00:41
You see, a few少数 years年份 ago,
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几年前,
00:43
I was diagnosed确诊 with generalized一般性 anxiety焦虑
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我被诊断出患有焦虑症,
00:45
and depression萧条 --
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和抑郁症——
这两种疾病经常会同时发生。
00:47
two conditions条件 that often经常 go hand in hand.
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这段经历我本不愿跟任何人分享,
00:50
Now, there was a time
I wouldn't不会 have told anybody任何人,
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00:54
especially特别 not in front面前 of a big audience听众.
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尤其是当着这么多人的面。
作为一名黑人女性,
00:56
As a black黑色 woman女人,
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我必须有极强的
适应能力才能取得成功。
00:58
I've had to develop发展
extraordinary非凡 resilience弹性 to succeed成功.
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如同我社区中的大部分人一样,
01:02
And like most people in my community社区,
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我误以为抑郁症是软弱的表现,
01:04
I had the misconception误解 that depression萧条
was a sign标志 of weakness弱点,
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是一种人格缺陷。
01:07
a character字符 flaw缺陷.
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但我并不软弱,
01:09
But I wasn't weak;
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我还蛮成功的。
01:11
I was a high achiever成功者.
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我获得了媒体研究的硕士学位,
01:12
I'd earned a Master's硕士 degree
in Media媒体 Studies学习
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在电影和电视行业
有一系列不错的履历。
01:15
and had a string of high-profile高调 jobs工作
in the film电影 and television电视 industries行业.
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01:19
I'd even won韩元 two Emmy Awards奖项
for my hard work.
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我的出色表现
还让我获得了两次艾美奖。
01:23
Sure, I was totally完全 spent花费,
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没错,我感到精疲力尽,
01:26
I lacked缺乏 interest利益 in things
I used to enjoy请享用,
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我对之前喜欢的事情丧失了兴趣,
茶饭不思,
01:29
barely仅仅 ate,
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01:30
struggled挣扎 with insomnia失眠
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被失眠所困扰,
01:32
and felt isolated孤立 and depleted耗尽.
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觉得孤单和消沉。
但是抑郁症?
01:35
But depressed郁闷?
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01:36
No, not me.
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跟我没什么关系吧。
01:39
It took weeks before I could admit承认 it,
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过了好几周我才承认,
医生是对的,
01:42
but the doctor医生 was right:
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我的确抑郁了。
01:43
I was depressed郁闷.
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01:45
Still, I didn't tell anybody任何人
about my diagnosis诊断.
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但我仍然没有告诉任何人。
我觉得羞愧难当。
01:49
I was too ashamed羞愧.
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我从没想过我也有抑郁的权利。
01:51
I didn't think I had the right
to be depressed郁闷.
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我生活条件优越,
01:54
I had a privileged特权 life
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家庭幸福,事业有成。
01:56
with a loving爱心 family家庭
and a successful成功 career事业.
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尤其当我想到,
正因为我的祖先们在这个国家
01:59
And when I thought about
the unspeakable无法形容 horrors恐怖
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遭受到那些无法描述的苦难,
02:02
that my ancestors祖先
had been through通过 in this country国家
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所以我才能过得好一些,
02:04
so that I could have it better,
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我就越发感到愧疚。
02:06
my shame耻辱 grew成长 even deeper更深.
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02:08
I was standing常设 on their shoulders肩膀.
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我是站在他们肩膀上的。
我怎么能让他们失望呢?
02:11
How could I let them down?
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02:13
I would hold保持 my head up,
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我只能昂起头,
面带微笑,
02:15
put a smile微笑 on my face面对
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02:17
and never tell a soul灵魂.
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不对任何人说。
02:22
On July七月 4, 2013,
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2013年7月4日,
我的世界彻底崩溃了。
02:26
my world世界 came来了 crashing轰然 in on me.
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02:29
That was the day I got
a phone电话 call from my mom妈妈
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我接到母亲的电话,
说我22岁的侄子,保罗,
在与焦虑症和抑郁症抗争多年之后,
02:32
telling告诉 me that my 22-year-old-岁 nephew外甥,
Paul保罗, had ended结束 his life,
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02:36
after years年份 of battling作战
depression萧条 and anxiety焦虑.
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结束了自己的生命。
没有语言足以形容我的绝望。
02:40
There are no words that can describe描述
the devastation毁坏 I felt.
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我跟保罗很亲密,
02:44
Paul保罗 and I were very close,
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但我从来不知道
他遭受着如此大的痛苦。
02:45
but I had no idea理念 he was in so much pain疼痛.
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02:48
Neither也不 one of us had ever talked
to the other about our struggles斗争.
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我们也从未跟对方提起过
自己的挣扎与抗争。
02:52
The shame耻辱 and stigma柱头 kept不停 us both silent无声.
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羞愧与耻辱感让我俩都保持沉默。
02:56
Now, my way of dealing交易 with adversity逆境
is to face面对 it head on,
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现在,我应对逆境的方式
就是昂首向前,
03:00
so I spent花费 the next下一个 two years年份
researching研究 depression萧条 and anxiety焦虑,
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接下来我花了两年时间
来研究抑郁症和焦虑症,
03:03
and what I found发现 was mind-blowing令人兴奋.
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而结果让我大吃一惊。
03:06
The World世界 Health健康 Organization组织 reports报告
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根据世界卫生组织的报告,
03:08
that depression萧条 is the leading领导 cause原因
of sickness疾病 and disability失能
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抑郁症是在世界范围内
导致疾病和伤残
03:14
in the world世界.
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最主要的原因。
03:16
While the exact精确 cause原因
of depression萧条 isn't clear明确,
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导致抑郁症的准确原因尚不清楚,
03:19
research研究 suggests提示
that most mental心理 disorders障碍 develop发展,
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研究显示,大部分精神疾病的发生,
03:22
at least最小 in part部分,
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至少有一部分原因,
03:23
because of a chemical化学
imbalance失调 in the brain,
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是因为大脑化学物质的不平衡,
03:26
and/or an underlying底层
genetic遗传 predisposition倾向.
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以及/或者潜在的遗传易感性。
03:31
So you can't just shake it off.
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因此你无法根除它。
03:34
For black黑色 Americans美国人,
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对于美国黑人而言,
03:36
stressors压力源 like racism种族主义
and socioeconomic社会经济 disparities差距
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来自种族歧视和
社会经济差异上的压力
03:40
put them at a 20 percent百分 greater更大 risk风险
of developing发展 a mental心理 disorder紊乱,
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使他们患上心理疾病的
几率要高20%,
03:45
yet然而 they seek寻求 mental心理 health健康 services服务
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然而他们寻求心理治疗的比例
03:48
at about half the rate of white白色 Americans美国人.
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仅仅达到美国白人的一半左右。
03:51
One reason原因 is the stigma柱头,
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原因之一就是感到羞耻,
有63%的美国黑人将抑郁症
误认为是软弱的表现。
03:54
with 63 percent百分 of black黑色 Americans美国人
mistaking误认 depression萧条 for a weakness弱点.
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04:01
Sadly可悲的是, the suicide自杀 rate
among其中 black黑色 children孩子
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令人悲伤的是,黑人儿童的自杀率
04:05
has doubled翻倍 in the past过去 20 years年份.
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在过去20年里增加了一倍。
04:09
Now, here's这里的 the good news新闻:
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当然,也有好消息:
04:12
seventy七十 percent百分 of people
struggling奋斗的 with depression萧条 will improve提高
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受到抑郁症困扰的人,
在治疗和药物的帮助下,
有70%情况会有所好转。
04:16
with therapy治疗, treatment治疗 and medication药物治疗.
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04:21
Armed武装 with this information信息,
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掌握了这些信息后,
04:23
I made制作 a decision决定:
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我做出了一个决定:
04:24
I wasn't going to be silent无声 anymore.
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我不会再沉默下去。
04:28
With my family's家庭的 blessing祝福,
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有家人的祝福,
04:30
I would share分享 our story故事
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我要把我们的故事分享出去,
04:32
in hopes希望 of sparking火花
a national国民 conversation会话.
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希望能引发一场全国性的大讨论。
04:36
A friend朋友, Kelly黄绿色 Pierre-Louis皮埃尔-路易斯, said,
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我的一个朋友,
凯丽·皮埃尔-露易丝说,
“逞强在毁掉我们。”
04:38
"Being存在 strong强大 is killing谋杀 us."
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04:42
She's right.
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她说的没错。
04:44
We have got to retire退休
those tired, old narratives叙事
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我们要摈弃那些老旧过时的叙述,
比如坚强的黑人女性,
04:48
of the strong强大 black黑色 woman女人
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04:49
and the super-masculine超阳刚 black黑色 man,
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无比阳刚的黑人男性,
04:52
who, no matter how many许多 times
they get knocked被撞 down,
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他们无论被击倒多少次,
04:54
just shake it off and soldier士兵 on.
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都会爬起来,拍拍灰,继续前进。
04:57
Having feelings情怀 isn't a sign标志 of weakness弱点.
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感情丰富并不是软弱的标志。
05:02
Feelings情怀 mean we're human人的.
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那意味着我们还有人性。
05:04
And when we deny拒绝 our humanity人性,
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如果我们连自己的人性都否定了,
05:06
it leaves树叶 us feeling感觉 empty inside,
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那就成了空心人,
05:09
searching搜索 for ways方法 to self-medicate自我用药
in order订购 to fill the void空虚.
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终日寻找自我治疗的良药,
填补内心的空白。
05:12
My drug药物 was high achievement成就.
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我的良药就是巨大的成功。
05:16
These days, I share分享 my story故事 openly公然,
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这些天来,我公开分享自己的故事,
05:19
and I ask others其他 to share分享 theirs他们的, too.
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我也鼓励大家分享自己的。
05:22
I believe that's what it takes
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我坚信必须这么做才能
帮助那些在沉默中忍受痛苦的人们
05:23
to help people who may可能
be suffering痛苦 in silence安静
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05:26
to know that they are not alone单独
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让他们知道自己并不孤独,
05:28
and to know that with help,
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让他们相信自己需要帮助,
05:30
they can heal愈合.
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是可以被治愈的。
05:31
Now, I still have my struggles斗争,
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现在我依然在遭受痛苦,
05:33
particularly尤其 with the anxiety焦虑,
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主要还是焦虑症,
05:36
but I'm able能够 to manage管理 it
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但我可以控制它,
通过每天服药,练瑜伽
以及“相对健康的”饮食。
05:37
through通过 daily日常 mediation调解,
yoga瑜伽 and a relatively相对 healthy健康 diet饮食.
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05:42
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
05:43
If I feel like things
are starting开始 to spiral螺旋,
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一旦我感觉自己状态不好了,
我就会约我的治疗师见面,
05:46
I make an appointment约定 to see my therapist治疗师,
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05:48
a dynamic动态 black黑色 woman女人
named命名 Dawn黎明 Armstrong阿姆斯特朗,
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她是一位充满活力的黑人女性叫
道恩·阿姆斯特朗,
05:51
who has a great sense of humor幽默
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她很幽默,
05:53
and a familiarity熟悉 that I find comforting欣慰的.
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很亲切,让我感到安心。
05:57
I will always regret后悔
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我一直非常后悔
05:59
that I couldn't不能 be there for my nephew外甥.
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没有能为我侄子做些什么。
06:02
But my sincerest真诚的 hope希望
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但我真诚地希望
06:04
is that I can inspire启发 others其他
with the lesson that I've learned学到了.
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能让大家吸取我的教训。
06:11
Life is beautiful美丽.
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生命是美丽的。
06:14
Sometimes有时 it's messy,
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有时候也会不顺利,
06:16
and it's always unpredictable不可预料的.
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永远充满未知。
06:19
But it will all be OK
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但一切都会好起来的,
只要拥有能帮助到你的体制。
06:20
when you have your support支持 system系统
to help you through通过 it.
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06:23
I hope希望 that if your burden负担 gets得到 too heavy,
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希望你们在撑不住的时候,
也会去寻求帮助。
06:25
you'll你会 ask for a hand, too.
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06:27
Thank you.
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谢谢大家。
(掌声)
06:28
(Applause掌声)
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Translated by Alvin Lee

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Nikki Webber Allen - Multimedia producer
Nikki Webber Allen is working to create a safe space for honest conversations about mental health in communities of color.

Why you should listen

Nikki Webber Allen is a two-time Emmy winner with 20 years of experience producing content for media outlets including Warner Bros., HBO, ABC, 20th Century Fox and BET.

In 2013, while working as the vice president of casting and talent relations for the cable network TV One, Webber Allen lost her 22-year old nephew, Paul, to suicide after his years of struggle with depression and anxiety. Since then, she's become a passionate mental health advocate.

In Paul's honor, she launched the nonprofit I LIVE FOR... FOUNDATION, INC. to create a safe space for honest, unapologetic conversations about mental health in communities of color, where the cultural stigma of mental illness discourages far too many people from seeking help. Michael Eric Dyson, advisor to the foundation, has called I LIVE FOR… "an incredibly important organization that offers much-needed support to those who too often suffer in silence."

Webber Allen is currently producing and directing a documentary film featuring a diverse group of compelling young men and women who reject the stigma of mental illness and share candid stories about their experiences living with depression and anxiety. The film is being scored by her husband, musician Jeffrey Allen of the Grammy-nominated R&B band Mint Condition.

In 2016, Webber Allen was one of only 47 people chosen out of more than 1,000 applicants worldwide to receive a coveted scholarship to Marie Forleo's B-School for social entrepreneurs. She has an M.A. in media studies from The New School University in New York, NY and a B.A. in communications from Rutgers University in New Brunswick, NJ.

More profile about the speaker
Nikki Webber Allen | Speaker | TED.com

Data provided by TED.

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