The Way We Work
Dan Clay: Why you should bring your whole self to work
丹 · 克雷: 为什么你应该在工作中展现真实的自己
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丹 · 克雷担心因为自己“太娘娘腔”在工作中被轻视，因此他克制着自己的个性。但是他的另一面，Carrie Dragshaw却在网上走红。让我们来看看之后发生了什么事。
Dan Clay - Writer, consultant
By day, Dan Clay is a partner in at a brand and innovation consultancy. His more well-known persona is Carrie Dragshaw. Full bio
By day, Dan Clay is a partner in at a brand and innovation consultancy. His more well-known persona is Carrie Dragshaw. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:00
A leader is steady, firm,
decisive, unwavering.
decisive, unwavering.
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作为一个领导者，
你需要果断，坚定。
你需要果断，坚定。
永远不要让别人
看见你慌张，时刻准备着。
看见你慌张，时刻准备着。
00:03
Never let 'em see you sweat,
always have an answer.
always have an answer.
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【我们的工作方式】
00:06
[The Way We Work]
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00:10
My name is Dan, I'm a partner
at a global creative consultancy.
at a global creative consultancy.
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我的名字叫丹，我是一家
跨国创意咨询公司的合伙人。
跨国创意咨询公司的合伙人。
但我还有另外一面：
00:14
But there's another side to me:
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Carrie Drashaw，
00:17
Carrie Dragshaw,
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那是我在Instagram上创造的另一个人设。
00:18
the character I created on Instagram.
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每当我想到自己的双重角色都禁不住想…
00:20
As I thought about my double life,
I couldn't help but wonder ...
I couldn't help but wonder ...
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当你的真实自我并不那么符合传统时，
00:25
When your true self
is a little nontraditional,
is a little nontraditional,
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你在工作中会表现出多少呢？
00:28
how much of it can you really
bring to the office?
bring to the office?
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00:32
For some of us is authenticity off-limits?
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对于有些人来说，真实是禁区？
在我事业的头十年，
00:36
For the first 10 years of my career,
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我以为成为领导者只有一种方法：
00:39
I thought there was
one way to be a leader:
one way to be a leader:
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就是要果断和严肃。
00:41
decisive and serious.
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但那并不是我。
00:43
But that's not me.
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所以我只有带上办公室伪装
才能适应这个角色：
才能适应这个角色：
00:45
So I'd put on basically
office drag to fit the role:
office drag to fit the role:
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我会用深沉的声音说话，
控制住自己的手势。
控制住自己的手势。
00:49
I'd talk in a deeper voice,
try to hold in my hand motions.
try to hold in my hand motions.
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其实我是那种特别容易激动的人，
00:52
I'm someone who gets
really excited about things,
really excited about things,
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所以我会让自己淡定些。
00:54
so I'd temper that.
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我脑海里总是有个
小小的声音在跟我说，
小小的声音在跟我说，
00:56
I had this little voice
in my head, telling me,
in my head, telling me,
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“你太娘了，太阴柔，太花枝招展。”
00:59
"You're too gay,
too feminine, too flamboyant."
too feminine, too flamboyant."
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之前有个很好心的顾问跟我说，
01:02
I had one well-intentioned
adviser who said,
adviser who said,
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“大家都知道你是同性恋，那很好啊。
01:05
"Everyone knows you're gay.
And that's great.
And that's great.
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但是你不需要那样克制住自己。”
01:07
But you don't need to beat them
over the head with it."
over the head with it."
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01:10
Cut to: me in a tutu, for Halloween 2016.
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镜头切换：2016年的
万圣节上穿着芭蕾短裙的我。
万圣节上穿着芭蕾短裙的我。
我打扮成我最爱的
电视剧角色Carrie Brashaw，
电视剧角色Carrie Brashaw，
01:15
I dressed up as my favorite
TV show character, Carrie Bradshaw,
TV show character, Carrie Bradshaw,
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想着我的朋友们看见了
肯定会觉得很好玩。
肯定会觉得很好玩。
01:19
thinking my friends
would get a kick out of it.
would get a kick out of it.
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然后事情的发展有点失控。
01:21
And then, things got crazy.
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2016
这条帖子火速走红，
一开始只是纯粹的为了好玩。
一开始只是纯粹的为了好玩。
01:23
The post went viral,
and at first it was pure fun.
and at first it was pure fun.
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我开始收到一些不可思议的来信，
01:26
I started getting these incredible
messages from people
messages from people
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来信者说这条帖子让他们很开心，
01:29
about how happy it made them,
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鼓励着他们要做真实的自己。
01:31
how it encouraged them
to be their authentic selves.
to be their authentic selves.
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于是我在想，
01:34
And I started to think,
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也许现在我可以让我脑海里
那个小声音闭嘴了，
那个小声音闭嘴了，
01:35
maybe this is the time to tell that
little voice in my head to just shut up
little voice in my head to just shut up
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让我做回真实的自己。
01:39
and let myself be me.
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01:42
But then things got a little too big.
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随后这件事波及的范围
不是一般的大。
不是一般的大。
Carrie Dragshaw无处不在，
出现在纽约时报，US周刊等。
出现在纽约时报，US周刊等。
01:44
Carrie Dragshaw was everywhere --
In the "New York Post", "US Weekly" --
In the "New York Post", "US Weekly" --
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我却害怕了：
01:48
and I got terrified:
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“我老板会怎么想？”
01:49
"What would my bosses think?
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“我的同事们还会把我当作
一个领导那样尊重我吗？”
一个领导那样尊重我吗？”
01:51
Would my coworkers
still respect me as a leader?
still respect me as a leader?
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“我的客户会怎样看待我？”
01:53
What would my clients think?"
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我觉得我得换一份工作了。
01:55
I thought I was going to have to
get a different job.
get a different job.
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但是就在那个时候，
发生了一件很小的事情。
发生了一件很小的事情。
01:58
But then, something happened,
something small.
something small.
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我收到了老板的短信，
内容是这样的，
内容是这样的，
02:00
I got a text from my boss,
it wasn't long, it just said,
it wasn't long, it just said,
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“兄弟，那太带感了！”
02:03
"Wow, Cosmo!"
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附带着一篇关于我的媒体报道。
02:05
With a link to an article
that had just gone up about me.
that had just gone up about me.
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这驱散了我心底的恐慌，
02:09
And it let me put that little,
scared voice away
scared voice away
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让我为这个新世界激动起来，
02:11
and just be excited
about this whole new world,
about this whole new world,
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每天不再如履薄冰。
02:14
rather than freaked out.
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这就是一个人的力量，
02:16
That's the power of one person,
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有的时候只需要
一个支持者让你感到自在。
一个支持者让你感到自在。
02:17
sometimes all it takes is one ally
to make you feel comfortable.
to make you feel comfortable.
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我的同事们也开始有了变化。
02:22
And my coworkers
started acting differently.
started acting differently.
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他们变得更开放，
与我相处也更加自如，
与我相处也更加自如，
02:24
They became more open,
more playful with me,
more playful with me,
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就好像知道了我的另一面，
02:26
it was as if knowing this other side of me
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让他们获得许可一般做自己。
02:29
gave them permission
to be more of themselves as well.
to be more of themselves as well.
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我曾以为那种开放与脆弱
02:31
I thought that openness and vulnerability
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会削弱我在团队中的威信。
02:34
would actually decrease
my standing with my team.
my standing with my team.
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但是恰恰相反。
02:37
But it's done the opposite.
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已经两年了，
02:39
Two years in,
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我从未想象过我的
这一面不仅仅被接受了，
这一面不仅仅被接受了，
02:40
I never could have imagined that this
part of me would not just be embraced,
part of me would not just be embraced,
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还帮助了我的事业。
02:45
but could actually help my career.
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现在我感到很幸运。
02:47
Now, I'm lucky.
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我在纽约工作，
02:49
I work in New York City,
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在一个创造力得到重视的公司工作，
02:50
in an office where creativity is valued
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02:52
and I was already pretty established
in my career when all of this started.
in my career when all of this started.
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当这一切开始的时候，
我的事业已经步入正轨了。
我的事业已经步入正轨了。
02:56
Maybe that's you, maybe it isn't.
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无论你是否也有过类似的经历，
但是这一切教会我很多事情，
02:59
But all of this has taught me so much
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教会我把真实的自己带到
工作中去的重要性。
工作中去的重要性。
03:01
about just the importance
of bringing your whole self to work.
of bringing your whole self to work.
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这极大地挑战了我个人误解，
03:05
And it's really challenged
my own misperceptions
my own misperceptions
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教会我怎样才能成功。
03:07
about what it takes to be successful.
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成为一个领导者的方法不只一种。
03:09
There's no one kind of way to be a leader.
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你得找到自己的优势并放大。
03:12
It's about finding your strengths
and finding ways to amplify them.
and finding ways to amplify them.
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以前遇到艰难的会议，
我会带上完美的领导面具。
我会带上完美的领导面具。
03:16
Before, if a meeting was hard,
I'd put on my perfect leader mask.
I'd put on my perfect leader mask.
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而现在我会说，
“我的天，这太难办了。”
“我的天，这太难办了。”
03:20
Now, I can say,
"Gosh, that was frustrating."
"Gosh, that was frustrating."
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我们可以开城公布地谈论挑战和困境，
03:24
We can talk about challenges
and struggles in an open way,
and struggles in an open way,
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而不是所有人都在掩饰
一切顺利，直到为时太晚。
一切顺利，直到为时太晚。
03:27
rather than everybody pretending
that they're fine until it's too late.
that they're fine until it's too late.
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掩藏一个身份耗费心力。
03:31
Concealing an identity takes work.
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想想这些花在掩藏上的精力，
03:34
Think of all the wasted energy
spent pretending,
spent pretending,
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祈求自己变成另一个人。
03:37
wishing you were someone different.
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03:39
What's most interesting to me, though,
is that in this big study of covering,
is that in this big study of covering,
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在这个有关于掩藏的研究中，
我觉得最有趣的是
我觉得最有趣的是
93%的人声称在做真实的自己，
03:44
93 percent of those
who say they're doing it
who say they're doing it
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同时也相信自己的公司重视他们的融入。
03:46
also believe their organization
values inclusion.
values inclusion.
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03:50
So clearly, our workplaces
and all of our strange inner voices
and all of our strange inner voices
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可显然，我们的工作场所以及
自己脑海里奇怪的声音
自己脑海里奇怪的声音
需要很努力才能被接受。
03:55
have a long way to go on acceptance.
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适应和伪装是两个完全不同的概念。
03:57
There's a big difference
between adapting and disguising.
between adapting and disguising.
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我觉得自己开窍也有点晚了。
04:02
And I think I learned that a little late.
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坦诚地讲，这在召唤我成为一个支持者，
04:04
Personally, I'm taking all of this
as a call to be the ally
as a call to be the ally
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就像我老板对待我那样，
04:08
who, like my boss did for me,
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我要让人们知道我们可以
表达真实的自我。
表达真实的自我。
04:09
lets people know that it's OK to open up.
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如果你是同性恋，
或者以你的民族背景为傲，
或者以你的民族背景为傲，
04:12
If you're gay, or proud
of your ethnic background,
of your ethnic background,
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或者你是残疾人，
又或者你忠于某个宗教，
又或者你忠于某个宗教，
04:15
or have a disability
or are deeply religious,
or are deeply religious,
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尝试着在工作中表现出真实的自己。
04:17
see what it's like
being your full self at work.
being your full self at work.
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也许你会得到让人激动的惊喜。
04:21
You might be pleasantly surprised.
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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Dan Clay - Writer, consultantBy day, Dan Clay is a partner in at a brand and innovation consultancy. His more well-known persona is Carrie Dragshaw.
Why you should listen
Dan Clay is a partner in strategy and innovation for Lippincott, an NYC-based consultancy. His expertise focuses on the strategic growth spaces that emerge from changing customer needs, expectations, fears and desires. In addition to advising financial services, health care and retail clients, Clay is a leading voice in Lippincott's intellectual capital and has authored several reports on how to build emotional bonds with the customer of the future. He graduated with an MBA from Wharton at the University of Pennsylvania and received his undergraduate degree in philosophy at Northwestern University.
Clay's more well-known persona is Carrie Dragshaw. What started as a simple Halloween costume turned into a viral fairy tale. Clay recreates classic Sex and the City looks and accompanies them with original "couldn't help but wonder" monologues. He's been featured in Cosmopolitan, L.A. Times, Us Weekly, the New York Post, BuzzFeed, Man Repeller, Huffington Post, Out, Refinery29, InStyle and more. Carrie Dragshaw has one simple mission: to create a little corner of the internet that is only positivity and love.
Dan Clay | Speaker | TED.com