ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Srikumar Rao - Happiness teacher
Executive, educator, writer and life coach Srikumar S. Rao asks, "Are you ready to succeed?" -- and in his famous course "Creativity and Personal Mastery," he teaches his students how to do so.

Why you should listen

Srikumar Rao was an executive at Warner Communications and McGraw-Hill before he created his celebrated MBA course, "Creativity and Personal Mastery." The course -- the only business school course that has its own alumni association -- shows students how to discover their unique purpose, creativity and happiness, through group work and a philosophical perspective. Its popularity has led to write-ups in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and Business Week.

Rao is also an adviser to senior business executives, whom he helps find deeper meaning and engagement in their work. He's the author of Are You Ready to Succeed: Unconventional Strategies for Achieving Personal Mastery in Business and Life, and has been a contributing editor for Forbes. His latest book is titled Happiness at Work: Be Resilient, Motivated, and Successful - No Matter What.

More profile about the speaker
Srikumar Rao | Speaker | TED.com
Arbejdsglaede Live

Srikumar Rao: Plug into your hard-wired happiness

斯瑞库马 拉奥: 唤醒你的幸福基因

Filmed:
1,092,642 views

斯瑞库马 拉奥(Srikumar Rao)说 ,尽管我们在追求幸福,却终其一生在学习如何不幸福。在2009《工作现场》研讨会上,他教我们如何摆脱“如果... 才会幸福”的心理模型,回归于我们与生具来的幸福。
- Happiness teacher
Executive, educator, writer and life coach Srikumar S. Rao asks, "Are you ready to succeed?" -- and in his famous course "Creativity and Personal Mastery," he teaches his students how to do so. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:13
I have a vision视力 for each one of you,
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斯瑞库马 拉奥:
我对大家都有这样一个愿景:
00:16
and the vision视力 I have for you
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我希望,
00:18
is that when you wake唤醒 up in the morning早上,
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当清晨你醒来的时候,
00:20
your blood血液 is singing唱歌 at the thought
of being存在 who you are
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一想到你是谁,你要做什么,
00:24
and doing what you do;
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你就会热血沸腾;
00:26
that as you go through通过 the day,
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这一天中,
00:27
you can literally按照字面 sink水槽
to your knees膝盖 in gratitude感谢
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你时刻愿意跪下感恩
00:31
at the tremendous巨大 good fortune幸运
that's been bestowed追封 on you;
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上天赐予你的无限幸福;
00:35
that as you go through通过 the day,
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这一天中,
00:37
you become成为 radiantly容光焕发 alive several一些 times.
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你时刻感到自己
容光焕发, 激情四射。
00:43
And if your life isn't like that,
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如果你现在的生活不是如此,
00:47
I'd like to humbly虚心 suggest建议
that you're wasting浪费 your life.
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请容我指出,
你正在浪费你的生命。
00:50
A life is too short to be wasted浪费.
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人生很短,切莫浪费光阴。
00:53
So what I propose提出 to do
in the next下一个 17 minutes分钟 --
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所以在接下来的17分钟内,
00:57
I've used up one minute分钟 already已经 --
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我已经讲了一分钟了,
00:59
is to give you a set of powerful强大 tools工具
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我将提供一些能够帮助你
01:02
which哪一个 can get you started开始 on being存在 there.
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对走向那个愿景有益的建议。
01:06
Is that of interest利益 to you?
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大家有兴趣听吗?
01:07
Audience听众: Yes.
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听众:有。
01:09
SrikumarSrikumar Rao: OK.
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斯瑞库马: 好的。
01:10
This is a conference会议 on happiness幸福,
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这是一个关于幸福的研讨会,
01:12
but even if it wasn't
a conference会议 on happiness幸福,
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但是即便不是关于幸福,
01:14
would it be right if I said
that in some way, shape形状, fashion时尚 or form形成,
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如果我说, 在某种程度、
某种形式上,
01:19
you're devoting费尽 your entire整个 life
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你终其一生,
都是为了幸福
01:22
to being存在 happy快乐?
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对吗?
01:23
Everything you do -- your job工作, family家庭,
children孩子, relationships关系, whatever随你 --
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所有你所做的事情,你的工作,
家庭,子女,人际等等,
01:28
is a quest寻求 for happiness幸福.
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都是在追求幸福,
01:30
Correct正确?
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对吗?
01:31
I'd like you to think about the following以下:
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那么我想请你思考这个问题:
01:35
What do you have to get
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你需要拥有什么
01:38
in order订购 to be happy快乐?
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才能变得幸福呢?
01:41
We're just going to spend
a minute分钟 on this.
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我们在这花一分钟思考一下。
01:43
What do you have to get
in order订购 to be happy快乐?
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你到底需要什么才会幸福?
01:48
Anybody任何人, quick?
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很简单的回答一下,有人吗?
01:50
When I conduct进行 this experiment实验,
a bunch of stuff东东 comes up:
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当我进行这个实验的时候,
经常出现很多答案:
01:53
vast广大 wealth财富, trophy spouse伴侣, good health健康,
lots of travel旅行, time, etc等等, etc等等, etc等等.
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万贯家财,完美配偶,健康体格,
频繁出游,许多时间,等等等等。
02:00
Right now, if you were to think about it,
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那么现在,如果你要回答这个问题,
02:02
you probably大概 have a list名单
of, "Here's这里的 what I need to get
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你可能也会有这样一个清单,
02:05
in order订购 to be happy快乐."
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”拥有了...就会幸福“的清单。
02:08
I would like you to consider考虑 this:
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我想请你想一想,
02:10
anything that you can get --
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你能得到的任何东西,
02:13
let me repeat重复 that -- anything
you can get, you can un-getUN-GET.
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让我重复一遍,你能得到的任何东西,
你也都可能会失去,
02:16
Is that correct正确?
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对吗?
02:17
So, vast广大 wealth财富 can make you happy快乐.
Vast广大 wealth财富 can disappear消失 tomorrow明天.
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万贯家财可以让你幸福,
万贯家财也可能一夜尽失,
02:21
A number of people in the financial金融 sector扇形
have discovered发现 this already已经.
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金融业的人们早就体会到了这一点。
02:26
So whatever随你 you get
that can make you happy快乐
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所以,那些可以让你幸福的东西,
02:30
can go away.
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也可能会离你而去。
02:31
Where does that leave离开 you?
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而你会剩下什么?
02:33
Not a very nice不错 place地点, right?
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一个并不乐观的处境,对吧?
02:35
I have a different不同 proposition主张
to suggest建议 to you.
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我想提供你一种不同的观点。
02:38
What I have to suggest建议 to you
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这个观点就是
02:39
is that there is nothing
that you have to get, do or be
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任何你想得到的东西,
02:44
in order订购 to be happy快乐.
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都不会让你幸福。
02:46
Let me repeat重复 that:
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让我重复一遍:
02:47
there is nothing that you have to get,
do or be in order订购 to be happy快乐.
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任何你想得到的东西
都不会让你幸福。
02:51
In fact事实, happiness幸福 is your innate先天 nature性质.
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事实上, 幸福是你的本性。
02:54
It is hardwired硬线 into you.
It is part部分 of your DNA脱氧核糖核酸.
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幸福与生具来,是你DNA的一部分。
02:59
You cannot不能 not be happy快乐.
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你不可能不会幸福。
03:02
Now, all of you are very polite有礼貌,
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现在,你们都表现的都很有礼貌,
03:03
and in some of the other forums论坛
I speak说话 in, such这样 as top最佳 business商业 schools学校,
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在其他我参与过的研讨会上,
比如在一些顶尖的商学院,
03:08
they're not so polite有礼貌.
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他们就没有那么礼貌。
03:09
And invariably不变地, somebody articulates关节运动
what many许多 of you are thinking思维,
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每一次,都会有人问我一个
你们每个人都想问的问题:
03:13
which哪一个 is: "If happiness幸福
is my innate先天 nature性质,
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“如果幸福是与生具来的,
03:17
how come I am not experiencing经历 it?
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那麽为何我感受不到?
03:19
How come I am experiencing经历 my life sucks?"
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为什么我反而觉得
我的生活很糟糕呢?
03:22
(Laughter笑声)
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03:24
And the answer回答 to that
is actually其实 very simple简单.
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要回答这个问题其实很简单:
03:28
You have spent花费 your entire整个 life
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因为你这一生都在花时间
03:32
learning学习 to be unhappy不快乐.
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学习怎么不幸福。
03:36
Let me repeat重复 that: you have spent花费
your entire整个 life learning学习 to be unhappy不快乐.
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我再重述一下:你一辈子的时间
都花在了学习怎样不幸福。
03:42
And the way we learn学习 to be unhappy不快乐
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我们学习如何不幸福的方式
03:45
is by buying购买 into
a particular特定 mental心理 model模型.
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是因为相信了一个
特定的心理模型。
03:48
A mental心理 model模型 is a notion概念 we have
that this is the way the world世界 works作品.
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而这个心理模型就是
我们自己认为,世界运转的方式。
03:51
All of us have mental心理 models楷模,
we've我们已经 got dozens许多 of mental心理 models楷模.
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我们所有人都有心理模型,
而且有很多种模型。
03:54
We've我们已经 got mental心理 models楷模
on how to find a job工作,
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我们的模型有:
如何找工作,
03:57
how to get ahead at work,
how to pick a restaurant餐厅 to eat at,
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如何干好工作,
挑一个什么样的餐厅吃饭,
04:00
how to have a movie电影
to go to ... dozens许多 of them.
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看一个什么样的电影,等等。
04:03
The problem问题 isn't
that we have mental心理 models楷模.
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问题不是我们有
这些心理模型,
04:05
The problem问题 is that we don't know
that we have mental心理 models楷模.
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而是我们不知道
我们有这些模型。
04:08
We think this is the way the world世界 works作品.
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我们认为这是
世界运作的方式,
而当我们越用这个模型思考的时候,
04:10
And the more we invest投资 in a mental心理 model模型,
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04:12
the more it appears出现 that this, in fact事实,
is the way the world世界 works作品.
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我们越发得觉得世界就是
这样在运作的。
04:16
But it isn't: it's just a mental心理 model模型,
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但是并非如此,
这只不过是一个心理模型而已,
04:18
and the mental心理 model模型 we have
that we buy购买 into so strongly非常
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我们之所以能这么强烈地
相信我们所认知的模型,
04:22
is that we have to get something
so we can do something
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是因为我们相信,我们必须有所得,
才能有所作为,
04:26
so we can be something.
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有所成就。
04:28
Like, we have to get a great deal合同 of money
so we can travel旅行 to exotic异国情调 places地方
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比如我们要花很多的钱
来旅游度假,
04:31
so we can be happy快乐.
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然后就会幸福。
我们必须恋爱,
才能有良好的性生活,
04:34
We have to be in a relationship关系
so we can have great sex性别
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然后我们才能幸福。
04:37
so we can be happy快乐.
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04:39
All of this is a variation变异
of the if-thenIF-THEN model模型.
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所有这些都是“如果, 然后”,
这个模型的变体。
04:44
And the if-thenIF-THEN model模型 is:
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这个“如果,然后”模型就是
04:46
if this happens发生,
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如果发生这样一件事,
04:48
then we will be happy快乐.
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然后
我们就会幸福。
04:52
If I were to get a better job工作,
if I were to get more money,
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如果我们有一个更好的工作,
如果我们有更多的钱,
04:55
if my boss老板 would have a heart attack攻击,
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如果我的老板心脏病突发,
04:57
if only I was married已婚,
if only my wife妻子 would leave离开 me --
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如果我结婚了,
如果我老婆能离开我,
05:03
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
05:04
if only I had children孩子,
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如果我有孩子,
05:06
if my children孩子 would grow增长 up
and go to college学院 ...
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如果我的孩子都已经
长大去了大学。
05:09
It doesn't matter what it is.
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不论是什么,
05:11
The whole整个 notion概念 is if this happens发生,
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整个模型的概念是:
如果这个发生了,
05:14
then I will be happy快乐.
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然后我才能会幸福。
05:17
And right now, the only thing
that's different不同
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现在, 你与身边听众之间,
05:20
between之间 the persons in this audience听众
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唯一不同的地方就是,
05:23
is what is the particular特定 "if"
that you are focusing调焦 on?
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你们所关注的这个
特定的“如果”是不一样的。
05:26
And the only thing that's different不同
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你与十年前的你之间
05:28
between之间 you now
and where you were 10 years年份 ago
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唯一不一样的地方也只是
05:31
is what is the particular特定 "if"
that you were focusing调焦 on?
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你所关注的这个
特定的“如果”不同而已。
05:34
Think about your life 10 years年份 ago.
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回想10年前你的生活,
05:37
Spend a minute分钟 doing that.
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花一分钟回想一下,
05:40
Ten years年份 ago, if you remember记得 clearly明确地,
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10年前,你如果还记得,
05:42
there were certain某些 things you wanted.
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肯定有一些东西你当时非常想得到,
05:43
Is that correct正确?
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对吗?
05:45
Odds可能性 are pretty漂亮 good
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很大概率上,
05:47
that many许多 of those things you wanted
10 years年份 ago you now have.
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10年前你想有的很多东西,
你现在都有了,
05:50
Is that correct正确?
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对吗?
05:52
Where has that left you?
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那现在呢?
像还在原地踏步,对吗?
05:56
In exactly究竟 the same相同 place地点, right?
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05:59
What we don't realize实现
is the model模型 itself本身 is flawed有缺陷.
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我们没有意识到的是,
这个心理模型本身是有缺陷的。
06:03
The if-thenIF-THEN model模型 --
"If this happens发生 I will be happy快乐" --
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这个 “如果怎样,就会幸福”的模型
06:06
the model模型 itself本身 is flawed有缺陷.
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本身就有缺陷。
06:09
But instead代替 of recognizing认识
that it is the model模型 itself本身 that's flawed有缺陷,
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但是我们没能意识到
这个模型有问题,
06:13
what we do is spend
enormous巨大 amounts of time
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反而花了很多时间
06:17
changing改变 the "if."
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来改变这个“如果”。
06:19
"Oh, well, I thought if I became成为
CEOCEO it would help,
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哦,我觉得如果我
变成了CEO就会幸福,
06:22
but now I realize实现 it's not
that I want to become成为 a CEOCEO.
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但是我发现
我并不是想当CEO,
06:25
I want to become成为 the billionaire亿万富翁 CEOCEO,
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我想当亿万财富CEO,
06:28
and then I will be happy快乐."
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然后我就会幸福。
06:30
You've got your own拥有 variation变异 on that.
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你们会有自己不同的衡量标准。
06:32
But it's the model模型 itself本身 that's flawed有缺陷,
not what you put on the "if" side
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然而问题本质是
这个模型有缺陷,
而不是你定义的那个“如果”。
06:37
of the equation方程.
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06:38
I can demonstrate演示 that to you.
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我可以给大家举例说明。
06:40
Can any of you recall召回 a time
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你们能回想一下,
06:42
when you were confronted面对 with a scene现场
of such这样 spectacular壮观 beauty美女
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当你看到某个极其美丽的场景,
06:47
that it took you outside of yourself你自己
into a place地点 of great serenity宁静?
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让你感到心旷神怡,无比平静。
06:52
Maybe a rainbow彩虹, a mountain range范围,
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或许是一道彩虹,一片山峦,
06:54
a valley, the sea.
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一个山谷,一片海洋。
06:56
And if you remember记得 that --
raise提高 your hands if you could.
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如果你回想起了这一刻,请举手。
06:59
Virtually实质上 all of you could, right?
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几乎每个人都有过,对吧?
07:01
Have you ever wondered想知道 why that happened发生?
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你曾想过为什么会有这样的感受吗?
07:04
The reason原因 that happened发生 is that somehow不知何故,
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原因就是在某种方式、
07:08
for some reason原因,
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某个原因,
07:10
at that instant瞬间,
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某一刻,
07:13
you accepted公认 the universe宇宙
exactly究竟 as it was.
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你接受了宇宙万物的原貌。
07:18
You didn't say,
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你不会说,
07:19
"That's a beautiful美丽 rainbow彩虹,
but it's kind of off to the left,
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“那是一道漂亮的彩虹,
但是左边有点偏。
07:22
and if I could move移动 it
200 yards to the right,
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如果我能把它往右移200码,
07:25
it would be ever so much more beautiful美丽."
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它就会更漂亮。“
07:27
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
07:29
You didn't say,
"That's a beautiful美丽 valley,
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你不会说, “这是一个很美丽河谷,
07:31
but the tree in the foreground前景
has too many许多 crooked branches分支机构.
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但是前边的树有太多树枝了。
07:34
So if you gave me
a chainsaw电锯 and 20 minutes分钟,
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如果你让我用一个电锯修整20分钟,
07:36
I'd make it ever so much better."
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我会把它修的更漂亮。
07:39
Oh no, the rainbow彩虹 off-center偏离中心
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当然不是这样,
有点偏的彩虹
07:40
was just fine.
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其实刚刚好,
07:41
The tree with its crooked branches分支机构
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有很多支叉的树
07:43
was just fine.
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也是刚刚好。
07:44
And the moment时刻 you accepted公认
the universe宇宙 just as it was,
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在你接受了万物原貌的那一刻,
07:49
your habitual-wanting习惯性的,希望 self dropped下降 away,
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你习惯性需求的自我
就会消失了,
07:53
and the happiness幸福 which哪一个 is
your innate先天 nature性质 surfaced浮出水面,
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然后你体内与生具来的
幸福感就会出现了,
07:56
and you felt it.
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而且你能感受幸福的存在。
07:57
And I know you felt it because now,
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我明白你现在的感受,
因为现在,
08:00
even now after all those years年份,
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尽管过了很多年,
08:02
you can still remember记得 it.
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你还是会记得。
08:06
The problem问题 is that your life right now,
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现在你人生的问题是,
08:09
with all of the problems问题 that you have --
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还有其他你所有的问题,
08:11
more precisely恰恰, all of the problems问题
that you think you have --
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更精确地说,
你认为你所有的问题,
08:16
is equally一样 perfect完善.
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都一样完美。
08:19
But you do not accept接受 it.
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但是你没有接受它。
08:21
In fact事实, you're spending开支 all your time
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事实上,你在花所有的时间
08:24
striving努力 with might威力 and main主要
to make it different不同.
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用所有的方法试图改变它。
08:28
You are not accepting验收 it.
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你没法接受它。
08:31
And when you're not accepting验收 it,
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当你没办法接受事实的时候,
08:33
you're buying购买 into the if-thenIF-THEN model模型:
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你就自然而然的陷入
“如果 然后”的心理模型:
08:35
if this happens发生, then I will be happy快乐.
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如果这个发生,
然后我就会幸福。
08:38
And it's the model模型 itself本身 that is flawed有缺陷.
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这个模型本身是有缺陷的。
08:43
So let me show显示 you how
you can get out of that,
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让我现在来告诉你
怎么摆脱这个模型,
08:45
or at least最小 you can begin开始 the steps脚步
towards getting得到 out of that.
178
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或者至少能让你
开始朝这个方向前进。
08:50
I'd like to share分享 with you that action行动.
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我想和你们分享这个行动,
08:52
We all live生活 our lives生活 because we want
to achieve实现 something, correct正确?
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我们一生都想取得
某种成就, 是吗?
08:56
You know, we are here
and we want to have something.
181
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你知道, 我们想在
世上干一番事业。
08:58
Alex亚历克斯 wants to have
a successful成功 conference会议.
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阿历克斯想举办
一个成功的大会。
09:01
You know, many许多 of you want to have
great programs程式 for your companies公司
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你们很多人都想要为公司
09:05
that are very successful成功.
184
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完成一些宏图伟业。
09:06
You want to progress进展, have more money,
all of that, is that correct正确?
185
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3191
你想要进步,更多的钱,
所有这些, 对吗?
09:13
Each of those is an outcome结果;
you would like something to happen发生.
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每一个如果都是一个结果;
你想要发生的结果。
09:17
Now, I'd like you to think
about the following以下:
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现在我想请你考虑,
09:20
actions行动 are within your control控制,
188
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1873
你可以控制行为,
09:22
not entirely完全, but to a large extent程度.
189
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虽不是所有,
但也很大程度上是。
09:24
The outcome结果 is completely全然
out of your control控制.
190
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然而结果是完全不受控制。
09:27
OK?
191
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好吗?
09:28
Actions操作 are within your control控制.
192
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你可以控制行为。
09:30
The outcome结果 is completely全然
outside your control控制.
193
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但是完全控制不了结果。
09:32
Have any of you recognized认可
that when you have a goal目标
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你们有意识到当你有一个目标,
09:35
and you start开始 to work towards it,
195
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2014
然后你朝着目标努力工作,
09:37
some of the time
you don't achieve实现 your goal目标,
196
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2298
有些时候你不会达成目标,
09:39
and some of the time what you get
197
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1723
有时你反而还会得到
09:41
is the exact精确 opposite对面 of what you wanted?
198
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和预期截然不同的结果。
09:43
Has that happened发生 to any of you?
199
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你们身上是不是都发生过这种事?
09:46
Like there was a friend朋友 of mine
who said, "Gee啧啧, you know,
200
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3491
好像我的一个朋友说,
“ 天呐,你知道吗,
09:49
I have not been paying付款
a lot of attention注意 to my wife妻子,
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3626
我已经很久没有
关心过我的妻子了,
09:53
and this has to change更改."
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1184
情况必须要有所改变。”
09:54
So the next下一个 time
we went on a business商业 trip,
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2071
所以在下次我们一起出差的时候,
09:56
he bought a very expensive昂贵 dress连衣裙 for her.
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他给妻子买了一条昂贵的裙子。
09:59
And this was his way of showing展示,
you know, I care关心 for you,
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这是他表达的方式,
你看,我在乎你,
10:02
and nice不错 things would happen发生.
206
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1937
他以为会有好事发生。
10:04
And when he presented呈现 the gift礼品
to his wife妻子, her immediate即时 reaction反应 was,
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4023
当他回家给她妻子礼物的时候,
她第一反应却是:
10:09
"After 20 years年份 of marriage婚姻,
you don't know my size尺寸?"
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“我们结婚20多年了,
你还不知道我的尺码?”
10:12
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
10:14
"And furthermore此外, don't you know
I never wear穿 this kind of thing?"
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“还有,你不知道我从来
都不穿这种裙子吗?”
10:19
And the next下一个 thing you know,
he had a full-blown全面爆发 marital婚姻 spat争吵.
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然后显而易见,
他和他老婆大吵一架。
10:23
Has that happened发生 to any of you?
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你们有类似经历吗?
10:24
You've taken采取 action行动
for a particular特定 outcome结果
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2793
你用尽心思想达成一件事,
10:27
and the outcome结果 you got
was the exact精确 opposite对面
214
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结果却和你想要的
恰恰相反。
10:29
of what you wanted?
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1484
10:31
Happens发生 all the time.
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这经常发生。
10:33
Well, we live生活 in a world世界
where what we think of,
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我们生活的世界,
10:37
what we invest投资 in,
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1422
所想所投入的,
10:39
is the outcome结果.
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都是结果。
10:40
We define确定 our life in the following以下 way:
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我们经常这样定义我们的生活:
10:42
here I am, here is where I want to go,
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我现在在这儿,我想去那儿,
10:44
these are the steps脚步 I have to take
in order订购 to get from where I am
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我需要做这些事情
我才能去想去的地方,
10:48
to where I want to go,
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1182
10:49
and if I succeed成功, life is wonderful精彩.
224
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2525
如果我们成功了,
生活就会很棒。
10:52
And if I don't, then I have failed失败,
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如果没成功,
说明我是个失败者,
10:56
life is no good, life sucks.
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生活就不好了,就很糟糕。
11:00
True真正? False?
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对吧?
11:02
That is how we live生活.
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这是我们的生活方式。
11:03
We invest投资 in the outcome结果,
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2171
我们寄希望于结果,
11:05
and as I've just pointed out,
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正如我之前指出的,
11:07
the outcome结果 is frequently经常 different不同
from what we would like,
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结果往往和期望不同,
11:11
and sometimes有时 the diametric直径的 opposite对面
of what we would like.
232
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3355
而且有时候背道而驰。
11:14
You invest投资 in the outcome结果
and you are guaranteed保证 to have
233
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4155
如果你寄希望于结果,
那么你一定
11:18
more than your share分享 of frustration挫折, angst焦虑
234
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2130
会十分沮丧,焦虑,
11:20
and all the rest休息 of the stuff东东
that makes品牌 life suck吮吸.
235
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而且其他东西也会让生活变的糟糕。
11:24
There is an alternative替代.
236
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1254
其实我们还有另一个选择,
11:26
And the alternative替代 is that you do not
invest投资 in the outcome结果,
237
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就是不要太过关注于结果,
11:29
you invest投资 in the process处理.
238
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要投入过程。
11:33
And the best最好 way to describe描述 that
is a quote引用 by John约翰 Wooden.
239
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4391
约翰伍德的话最能形容这个方法。
11:37
I don't know how many许多 of you
are familiar with John约翰 Wooden.
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我不知道你们当中
多少人熟悉约翰伍德。
11:40
He's very well-known知名 in the United联合的 States状态
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2028
他在美国很出名,
11:42
and certainly当然 among其中 basketball篮球 fans球迷.
242
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2038
尤其是在篮球迷中。
11:45
He's the only person ever to make
the basketball篮球 Hall大厅 of Fame名誉
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他是唯一一个
以运动员和教练双重身份
11:49
both as a player播放机 and as a coach教练.
244
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2136
入选篮球名人堂的人。
11:51
And what he told his entering进入 team球队 --
245
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1970
他告诉他的球队,
11:53
he led UCLA加州大学洛杉矶分校 to an unprecedented史无前例 number
of victories胜利 and finals决赛 in the NCAANCAA --
246
701798
6074
他领导UCLA多次打入NCAA决赛
并获得了史无前例的胜利,
11:59
and what he used to tell any new team球队
is he never spoke about winning胜利.
247
707896
5433
他从未对新赛队提及过要赢取比赛。
12:06
He always said, "When it's over
and you look in the mirror镜子,
248
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4287
他总是说,“当比赛结束,
看着镜子里的自己,扪心自问,
12:10
did you do the best最好
that you were capable of?
249
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2705
你竭尽全力了吗?
12:13
And if you did the best最好
that you were capable of,
250
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2792
如果你全力以赴了,
12:16
the score得分了 doesn't matter.
251
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1498
比分就不重要了。
12:18
But I would suspect疑似 that if you did
the best最好 that you were capable of,
252
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3672
但是我认为,
当你全力以赴之后,
12:22
you will find the score得分了 to your liking喜欢."
253
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2172
你会发现,分数通常
也会让你很满意。”
12:26
That is investing投资 in a process处理.
254
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2897
这就是在投入过程,
12:29
What we do is the exact精确 opposite对面.
255
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2260
而我们做的恰恰相反。
12:31
We invest投资 in the outcome结果.
256
739758
1761
我们只在关注结果。
12:33
This is what I want -- oh,
I want it so desperately拼命,
257
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2748
哦,这就是我想要的,
非常想得到,
12:36
because if I get it I will be happy快乐.
258
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2402
因为如果我得到了,
我就会幸福。
12:38
And you try with might威力 and main主要,
to do whatever随你 you can,
259
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3337
你费尽心思,
绞尽脑汁,
12:42
but you are always focusing调焦
on, "This is the outcome结果."
260
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4016
然而总是在关注结果。
12:46
Now, focusing调焦 on the outcome结果 is fine.
261
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2087
关注结果未尝不可,
12:48
It gives you direction方向.
262
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1262
它可以为你指明方向。
12:50
Investing投资 in the outcome结果 means手段
263
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2072
但是只投入结果意味着
12:52
that you make the achievement成就
of a particular特定 outcome结果
264
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4945
你用特定的结果来衡量
12:57
dependent依赖的 for your well-being福利.
265
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2770
是否幸福。
12:59
And that is a surefire万全 recipe食谱 for failure失败.
266
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2659
这个方法必然失败。
13:03
What you can do is something else其他.
267
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2094
你能做的绝不仅如此。
13:05
You can invest投资 in the process处理.
268
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3047
你可以关注过程。
13:09
That is, once一旦 you have determined决心,
here is where I am,
269
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2865
也就是说,当你下定决心,
我现在在这儿,
13:12
here is where I want to be,
and that's fine,
270
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2300
我要去那儿,
13:15
you focus焦点 on the outcome结果 only
to the extent程度 that it gives you direction方向,
271
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3984
你关注结果的程度
能够给你方向就好,
13:19
and then you invest投资 yourself你自己
completely全然 in the process处理.
272
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3316
然后全身心的投入过程中。
13:22
You say, here are the steps脚步
you want to take,
273
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2127
你可以说,这些是
你想要採取的步骤,
13:24
and you put everything into it.
274
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1959
然后全身心的投入一切。
13:26
And if you succeed成功, wonderful精彩.
275
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2695
如果你成功了,
那太棒了。
13:30
And if you don't succeed成功,
276
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如果没能成功,
13:32
still wonderful精彩,
277
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1944
依然很棒,
13:36
because now you have a new starting开始 point,
and from that new starting开始 point,
278
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3662
因为现在你有了一个新起点,
从这个新起点,
13:39
you select选择 another另一个 outcome结果 and keep going.
279
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2261
你可以选择一个新方向
继续前进。
13:42
And when you do that, you will find
that every一切 day is a blast爆破.
280
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3436
当你这么做以后,
你会发现每天都活力四射。
13:46
Let me give you an example.
281
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1321
让我来举个例子。
13:48
And if you have children孩子 -- raise提高
your hands if you have children孩子.
282
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3135
如果你有孩子,
如果你有孩子请举手。
13:51
Have you ever seen看到
a small child儿童 learn学习 to walk步行?
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2467
你有见过婴儿学步吗?
13:54
What happens发生, and this happens发生
typically一般 between之间 11 and 13 months个月,
284
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3213
一般在11到13个月大时,
13:57
is the child儿童 gets得到 up
and she sees看到 everybody每个人 walking步行,
285
825945
3696
常常是这样:孩子起床后,
她看到每个人都在走路,
14:01
she wants to walk步行, she gets得到 up,
she falls下降 down, she starts启动 crying哭了
286
829665
3616
她便想走路,
她站起来,她摔倒,开始哭,
14:05
and momma妈妈 runs运行 up and comforts舒适 her,
kisses the place地点, makes品牌 it well.
287
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然后母亲会跑过来安慰她,
亲亲受伤的地方,平复心绪。
14:09
She tries尝试 again, falls下降 down,
mommy妈妈 runs运行 up again.
288
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2939
她再次尝试,再摔倒,
母亲又跑上前来。
14:12
After some time, mommy妈妈 feels感觉 tired
and no longer runs运行 up
289
840248
3687
一段时间后,妈妈累了,
不再理会,
14:15
and the child儿童 stops停止 crying哭了,
290
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1931
孩子也便停止了哭泣,
14:17
and then she gets得到 up, takes a step
291
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2046
她站起来,向前一步,
14:19
and doesn't fall秋季 down,
and then she takes another另一个,
292
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2570
并没有摔倒,然后再向前一步,
14:22
and a beautiful美丽 smile微笑 comes on her face面对.
293
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2234
脸上露出了灿烂的笑容。
14:24
And very soon不久, generally通常 within 24 hours小时,
she's walking步行 all over the place地点,
294
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3716
很快,一天之内,
她就能到处走路,
14:28
upsetting your living活的 room房间 arrangements安排.
295
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2307
打乱你客厅的布置。
14:30
And you know you've gone走了
to a new stage阶段 of parenting育儿.
296
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2484
此时你就知道自己到了
做父母的下一个阶段。
14:33
Right?
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对吗?
14:34
Now, imagine想像 what would happen发生
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现在想象一下,
14:37
if each time the child儿童 fell下跌,
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如果这个孩子每次摔倒时
14:40
she would say, "Oh my God, I failed失败 again.
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都想,“哦 天呐,我又失败了。
14:43
I'm never going to learn学习 to walk步行."
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我再也不想学走路了。“
14:46
And you have to get counseling辅导服务 for her
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然后你需要辅导她
14:48
to help her deal合同 with
feelings情怀 of inadequacy不足之处
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帮住她如何解决无力感,
14:51
and not being存在 able能够 to achieve实现
and fail失败 yet然而 again.
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挫败感和失望感。
14:55
How long do you think it would take her
to learn学习 to walk步行 if you had to do that,
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你觉得如果这样,
要多久才能学会走路呢,
14:59
if every一切 three times she fell下跌 down,
you had to get a counselor顾问
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如果孩子每跌到三次,
15:02
to counsel法律顾问 her and so on?
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你每次都得开导她、
安慰她等等...?
15:04
Sounds声音 funny滑稽, doesn't it?
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听起来很可笑不是吗?
15:06
But that is exactly究竟 what we're doing.
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但是这恰恰是我们在做的事情。
15:08
What the child儿童 is doing
is focusing调焦 on the process处理.
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而孩子在做的
就是关注过程。
15:13
She's investing投资 in the process处理,
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她投入在过程中,
15:15
not in the outcome结果.
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而不是在结果上。
15:18
What we do is the exact精确 opposite对面.
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和我们所做的正好相反。
15:21
As we grow增长 up, we lose失去 the ability能力
to invest投资 in the process处理,
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当我们渐渐长大,
我们失去了关注过程的能力。
15:25
we start开始 investing投资 in the outcome结果.
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我们开始关注结果。
15:27
By definition定义 the outcome结果
is outside of our control控制,
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结果本来就在我们的
控制能力范围之外,
15:31
and if that's where we spend
all of our emotional情绪化 energy能源,
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如果我们都花时间精力在结果上,
15:33
we are going to get drained倒掉 as we do.
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我们会变的疲惫不堪。
15:36
But if, on the other hand, we said,
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但是,如果从另一方面来讲,
15:38
"Here is the outcome结果,
I am going to invest投资 in the process处理
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“这是我想要的结果,
我关注在过程上,
15:41
and give it every一切 single bit I could,"
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然后拼尽全力。“
15:44
every一切 day is a blast爆破,
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每天都很开心,
15:46
and you're well on your way to achieving实现
the vision视力 that I outlined概述 to you.
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那你就正一步一步地迈向
我为你勾勒的愿景路上。
15:51
The question that I get all the time,
is people say, "Professor教授 Rao,
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人们总问我一个同样的问题,
15:54
but nothing makes品牌 me passionate多情."
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“拉奥教授,但是没有什么
能让我激情澎湃。“
15:57
So I say, "OK, what would?"
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我会说,“好,再想想什么会?”
15:58
And they invariably不变地 come up with,
you know, here is a list名单 of things.
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然后他们不约而同的会说,
你知道,其实有这样一个清单。
16:02
Here's这里的 my job工作 and here's这里的 how much it pays支付,
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我想要的工作,
我想赚的钱,
16:04
this is the kind of person my boss老板 is,
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理想中老板的为人,
16:06
the kind of people my colleagues同事 are,
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同事的为人,
16:08
and here's这里的 how my customers顾客 are,
here's这里的 how much I travel旅行,
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理想的客户怎么样,
我多久要旅行一次,
16:11
here's这里的 how big my office办公室 is,
how deep the carpeting地毯 is,
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我的办公室有多大,
地毯多干净,
16:13
how many许多 windows视窗 I have --
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有多少窗户,
16:15
a bunch of parameters参数.
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等等诸事。
16:17
And what I tell them is what
I want to share分享 with you,
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我想与你们分享我所告诉他们的,
16:20
because all of that stuff东东 --
first of all, it doesn't exist存在.
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因为所有那些事情,
首先,它们都还不存在。
16:23
But second第二, even if it did
and you were plugged into it,
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2643
第二,即使存在,
你为之努力,
16:26
it would not take more than six months个月
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不出半年
16:28
for you to be the same相同 sorry,
miserable self there as you are now,
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你就会觉得和从前一样,
难过痛苦。
16:32
because passion exists存在 inside you.
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因为激情在你心中。
16:36
It does not exist存在 in the job工作.
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激情不在工作里。
16:39
And if you don't find a way
to ignite点燃 it within you
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3553
如果你没有找到
点燃心中激情的方法,
16:43
right where you are,
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16:44
you are not going to find it outside.
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你更不会在外界找到。
16:48
But if you do find a way
to ignite点燃 it where you are,
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但是如果找到点燃激情的方法,
16:53
then you will find that the external外部 world世界
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你就会发现生活
16:55
rearranges重排 itself本身
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变的焕然一新,
16:59
to accommodate容纳 the new person
that you are becoming变得.
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来迎合全新的你。
17:03
And as you do that, you will find
that miracles奇迹 happen发生 on a regular定期 basis基础.
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这样做了以后,你会发现
身边经常充满了奇迹。
17:08
Persons come up
whom you're delighted欣喜的 to meet遇到.
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2222
你乐意遇见的人会出现,
17:10
New people enter输入 your life.
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你会认识新的人,
17:11
It's just a breeze微风,
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这都轻而易举。
17:14
because all you do in your life
is you take journeys旅程.
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因为你所做的就是享受过程。
17:17
You came来了 here to this conference会议;
you went on a journey旅程.
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你来参加这次研讨会,
你在旅途中。
17:21
You hang around the water cooler冷却器,
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1600
你在饮水机旁闲晃,
抱怨你的工作环境多么糟糕,
17:22
talking about how terrible可怕
your place地点 of work is;
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17:25
you went on a journey旅程.
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1260
也是在一个旅程中。
17:27
You watch "Desperate殊死 Housewives家庭主妇,"
you go on a journey旅程.
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2729
你看“绝望的主妇”也是一段历程。
17:29
You go on a journey旅程
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这段历程
17:31
where 40-something-something women妇女 are having
affairs事务 with 19-something-something gardeners园丁
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3351
不过是40多岁的主妇
在她们的丈夫们和模特们暧昧的时候
17:34
while the husbands丈夫
are playing播放 around with models楷模.
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2367
和19岁的园丁出轨的旅程。
17:37
All you do is go on journeys旅程.
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1514
所有这些都是不同的旅程。
17:39
There's nothing wrong错误 with that,
but just ask yourself你自己,
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2599
这并没有什么错,
但是要问问自己,
17:41
"Is this a journey旅程 I want to take?
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3095
“我想要走一段怎样的路程?
17:44
Does this take me to a place地点
I want to spend time?"
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我想花时间去
这条路带我去的地方吗?
17:48
And if you start开始 doing that,
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如果你开始这么做,
17:50
you will find that your life changes变化.
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2254
你会发现生活开始改变了。
17:53
The kind of people you meet遇到,
the things you talk about,
368
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2579
你接触的人,谈论的事,
17:55
the movies电影 you go to,
the books图书 you read --
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2033
去看的电影,所读的书,
17:57
everything changes变化.
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1455
一切都变了。
18:00
And you begin开始 all of that
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然后你会通过关注过程
18:03
by focusing调焦 on the process处理.
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2151
开始新的世界。
18:05
Invest投资 in the process处理, not in the outcome结果.
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投入过程,而不是结果。
18:09
Thank you.
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谢谢大家。
Translated by Michael Liu
Reviewed by Yi-Fan Yu

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Srikumar Rao - Happiness teacher
Executive, educator, writer and life coach Srikumar S. Rao asks, "Are you ready to succeed?" -- and in his famous course "Creativity and Personal Mastery," he teaches his students how to do so.

Why you should listen

Srikumar Rao was an executive at Warner Communications and McGraw-Hill before he created his celebrated MBA course, "Creativity and Personal Mastery." The course -- the only business school course that has its own alumni association -- shows students how to discover their unique purpose, creativity and happiness, through group work and a philosophical perspective. Its popularity has led to write-ups in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and Business Week.

Rao is also an adviser to senior business executives, whom he helps find deeper meaning and engagement in their work. He's the author of Are You Ready to Succeed: Unconventional Strategies for Achieving Personal Mastery in Business and Life, and has been a contributing editor for Forbes. His latest book is titled Happiness at Work: Be Resilient, Motivated, and Successful - No Matter What.

More profile about the speaker
Srikumar Rao | Speaker | TED.com