ABOUT THE SPEAKERS
Tiq Milan - Transgender activist
Already a tireless advocate for positive and honest portrayals of LGBTQ people in media, Tiq Milan now evangelizes for the unifying power of love.

Why you should listen

Tiq Milan speaks and writes about intersectional leadership, transgender rights and racial justice. He shares stories of his life and how his transgender experience has informed his views on masculinity, race and the gender binary. A journalist for over a decade, his work has appeared on MIC, Buzzfeed, NBC and CNN. He is also a strategic media consultant, helping organizations and companies create detailed media campaigns that engage diverse audiences in ways that are inclusive and authentic. 

Tiq has been most inspired by his years mentoring LGBT youth at the Bronx Community Pride Center and the Hetrick Martin Institute in the New York City. He was able to witness first hand the intersectional lived experiences of gay and trans youth and how it's affected by social systems put in place to help them. He most recently was the senior media strategist and national spokesperson for GLAAD, where he utlilized the media to call attention to the needs of the LGBT community, particularly transgender people of color.

Tiq is currently the co-Founder of Milan Media Arts Productions (MAPS) along with his wife, Kim Katrin Milan. MAPS is a content creation and consulting firm that is dedicated to creating narratives of queer people and their allies. View his published work, features and appearances here.

More profile about the speaker
Tiq Milan | Speaker | TED.com
Kim Katrin Milan - Writer, educator, artist
Through her art and writing, Kim Katrin Milan advocates for queer, trans and feminist issues. Now she’s using her own love story to help bridge communities.

Why you should listen

A daughter of the diaspora -- Afro-Caribbean, Venezuelan Arawak, Indian and Scottish, hailing from Trinidad and living between Toronto and New York -- Kim Katrin Milan is an acclaimed educator, writer and artist.

Kim is the co-founder and Executive Director of The People Project, an initiative to bring forth local and international community development for queer and trans folks of color and their allies through alternative education, art­-activism and collaboration. She is also one of the owners of the Glad Day Book Shop, the oldest LGBT bookstore in the world. 

As an educator, Kim travels around the world talking to people about justice, equity and human rights. She is dedicated to inclusivity and invested in arousing a sense of curiosity and empathy in her audience. She uniquely weaves together the historical context, statistical analysis, as well as current events.

A public researcher, consultant and human rights educator, Kim has shared hundreds of unique resources and presentations around intersectional issues including race, ability and gender. As a social entrepreneur, she speaks to the opportunities and challenges for women in business and leadership roles. With great openness, she welcomes difficult conversations hosting community dialogues and sharing practical strategies around sexuality and consent, queer and trans allyship. and anti-racism and equity.

Since 2012, Kim has spoken at universities including Princeton, Dartmouth, McGill and Mount Allison. She has opened for cultural scholar Cornel West at UC Davis, delivered the keynote address at HBCU's Morehouse and Spelman's first Pride, and she was a panelist at Amber Rose's first SlutWalk. She has hosted events for the United Nations, acted as the Grand Marshall for Hudson, NY Pride and hosted an session at Dreamforce 2016.

Kim has contributed to Cosmopolitan, MTV, NBC, Larry King Now, Buzzfeed and the CBC, both independently and alongside her husband Tiq Milan. She regularly contributes to TeleSUR English, the Central American news network.

More profile about the speaker
Kim Katrin Milan | Speaker | TED.com
TEDWomen 2016

Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan: A queer vision of love and marriage

Tiq Milan in Kim Katrin Milan: Ljubezen, ki nama dopušča, da sva taka, kot sva.

Filmed:
1,566,834 views

Ljubezen je orodje za revolucionarno spremembo in pot k vključitvi in razumevanju za LGBTQ+ skupnost. Poročena aktivista Tiq and Kim Katrin Milan sta si zamislila svoj zakon - kot transspolen moški in cisspolna ženska - kot model možnosti za ljudi vseh vrst. Z nalezljivim veseljem Tiq in Kim podvomita v naše napačne predstave o tem, kdo sta in ponudita vizijo vključujoče ljubezni, polne izzivov, ki raste dan za dnem.
- Transgender activist
Already a tireless advocate for positive and honest portrayals of LGBTQ people in media, Tiq Milan now evangelizes for the unifying power of love. Full bio - Writer, educator, artist
Through her art and writing, Kim Katrin Milan advocates for queer, trans and feminist issues. Now she’s using her own love story to help bridge communities. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
TiqTiq MilanMilan: Our first conversationpogovor
was on FacebookFacebook,
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Tiq Milan: Prvič sva govorila
na Facebook-u,
00:15
and it was threetri daysdnevi long.
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in trajalo je tri dni.
00:17
(LaughterSmeh)
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(Smeh)
00:19
We shareddeljeno over 3,000 messagessporočil betweenmed us,
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Izmenjala sva si več kot 3.000 sporočil
00:21
and it was duringmed those 72 hoursure
that I knewvedel she was going to be my wifežena.
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in v tistih 72 urah sem se zavedel,
da bo ona moja žena.
00:26
We didn't wait any prerequisitepogoj
amountznesek of time for our courtshippridruĹľevanje;
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Nisva si vzela nič časa
v najinem snubljenju;
00:29
we told eachvsak other
the vulnerableranljivi truthsresnice up frontspredaj:
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takoj sva si razkrila ranljivo resnico:
00:32
I am a transgendertransspolna oseba man,
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Sem trans moški,
00:33
whichki meanssredstva the F on my birthrojstvo
certificatecertifikat should have stoodstojalo for "FalseNapačne,"
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kar pomeni, da bi Ž na rojstnem listu
moral pomeniti "Žal, napaka"
00:37
insteadnamesto tega of "FemaleŽenski."
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namesto "Ženska."
00:38
(LaughterSmeh)
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(Smeh)
00:39
WalkingHoja around as a womanženska in the worldsvet
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Ko sem po svetu hodil kot ženska,
00:41
feltčutil like walkinghoditi with
pebbleskamenčki in my shoesčevlji.
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sem se počutil,
kot da hodim s kamni v čevljih.
00:44
It tookvzel the rhythmritem out of my swaggergugalnica,
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Vzelo je ritem moji hoji,
metalo me je iz ravnotežja,
00:46
it threwvrgel me off balanceravnovesje,
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00:47
it painedbolelo me with everyvsak stepkorak
I tookvzel forwardnaprej.
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vsak korak, ki sem ga naredil,
je bil boleč.
00:49
But todaydanes I'm a man of my ownlastno intentionnamen;
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A danes sem sam svoj moški,
00:52
a man of my ownlastno designoblikovanje.
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moški, kot si sam želim.
00:54
KimKim KatrinKatrin MilanMilan: I am
a cisgendercisgender queerkvir womanženska.
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Kim Katrin Milan: Jaz sem
cisspolna kvir ženska.
00:57
CisgenderCisgender meanssredstva the genderspol
I was assigneddodeljeni at birthrojstvo
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Cisspolna pomeni,
da je bil moj spol ob rojstvu
00:59
is still and has always been femaležensko.
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in je še vedno, ženska.
01:02
This doesn't make me naturalnaravno or normalnormalno,
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Zaradi tega nisem naravna ali normalna,
01:05
this is just one way of describingopisuje
the manyveliko differentdrugačen waysnačinov
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to je samo eden izmed načinov
opisa različnih načinov,
01:08
that we existobstajajo in this worldsvet.
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na katere obstajamo v tem svetu.
01:10
And queerkvir is a culturalkulturno termdolgoročno,
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Kvir je kulturološki izraz,
01:12
but in this caseprimera,
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a v tem primeru se nanaša na to, da me
pri izbiri partnerja ne omejuje spol.
01:13
it refersse nanaša to the way that I'm not
restrictedomejeno by genderspol
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01:15
when it comesprihaja to choosingizbira partnerspartnerjev.
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Na več načinov sem se identificirala -
01:17
I've identifiedidentificirana in a fewmalo differentdrugačen waysnačinov --
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kot biseksualka, kot lezbijka -
01:19
as a bisexualbiseksualcev, as a lesbianlezbijka --
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01:21
but for me,
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a zame kvirnost zajema vse plasti tega,
kar sem in kako ljubim.
01:22
queernessčudno encompasseszajema all of the layersplasti
of who I am and how I've lovedLjubil sem.
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01:27
I'm layersplasti, and not fractionsfrakcije.
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Sem v plasteh in ne v kosih.
01:30
And for me,
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In zame je dejstvo, da je bil kvir,
01:31
the factdejstvo that he was queerkvir
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pomenilo, da sem temu snubljenju
lahko zaupala že od začetka.
01:32
meantpomeni that I could trustzaupanje his courtshippridruĹľevanje
from the very beginningzačetek.
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01:36
As queerkvir and transtrans people,
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Kot kvir in trans ljudje,
01:37
we're so oftenpogosto excludedizključeni
from institutionsinstitucije and traditionstradicije.
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smo pogosto izključeni
iz institucij in tradicij.
01:41
We createustvarite spacesprostori outsidezunaj of conventionkonvencija,
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Prostore zase ustvarjamo izven običajnega,
01:44
includingvključno z the conventionskonvencij of time.
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vključno s časom.
01:46
And in those 3,000 messagessporočil betweenmed us,
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In v tistih 3.000 sporočilih med nama,
01:49
we collapsedzrušil time;
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sva zrušila čas,
01:51
we queeredqueered it;
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"pokvirala" sva ga,
01:52
we laidpoložen it all on the tablemizo.
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vse sva položila na mizo.
01:54
(LaughterSmeh)
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(Smeh)
01:55
With no pretensepretvarjanja at all.
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Brez pretvarjanja.
01:57
And this meantpomeni that we were ablesposoben
to commitzavezati to eachvsak other
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Kar je pomenilo, da sva se lahko
predala drug drugemu
02:00
in a profoundlygloboko differentdrugačen way.
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na korenito drugačen način.
02:02
So oftenpogosto what we're told is this ideaideja
of the "GoldenZlati RulePravilo,"
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Pogosto slišimo o tej ideji
"Zlatega pravila,"
02:06
that we should treatzdravljenje other people
the way we want to be treatedzdravljeni.
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da bi morali z drugimi ravnati,
kot želimo, da bi oni z nami.
02:10
But the problemproblem with that
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A problem tega je,
02:11
is that it assumespredpostavlja that we are
the standardstandard for other people,
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da predvidevamo, da smo
mi standard za druge, ampak nismo.
02:14
and we're not.
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Z drugimi moramo
ravnati tako, kot si oni želijo,
02:15
We need to treatzdravljenje other people
the way they want to be treatedzdravljeni,
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kar pomeni, da moramo vprašati.
02:19
whichki meanssredstva we had to askvprašajte.
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02:21
I couldn'tni mogel assumedomnevati that the kindvrste
of love that TiqTiq neededpotrebno
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Nisem mogla vedeti,
da je ljubezen, ki jo Tiq potrebuje,
enake vrste, kot sem jo potrebovala jaz.
02:23
was the sameenako kindvrste of love that I neededpotrebno.
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Zato sem ga vprašala vse -
o njegovih strahovih, negotovostih -
02:25
So I askedvprašal him everything --
about his fearsstrahove, his insecuritiesnegotovosti --
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02:30
and we startedzačel from there.
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in od tam sva začela.
02:31
TMTM: I didn't know what
kindvrste of love I neededpotrebno.
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TM: Nisem vedel, kakšno
ljubezen potrebujem.
02:34
I had just come out of a year-longleto-dolg fogmegla
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Prišel sem iz leta dolgega,
meglenega obdobja,
02:36
of beingbiti rejectedzavrnjen and utterlypovsem depletedosiromašeni.
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v katerem sem bil zavrnjen
in popolnoma izčrpan.
02:38
I had someonenekdo look me in my eyesoči
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Nekdo me je pogledal v oči
02:40
and tell me that I was unworthynevredno
of theirnjihovi love because I was transtrans.
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in mi rekel, da sem nevreden
njihove ljubezni, ker sem trans.
02:44
And there's a culturekulturo of lovelessnessLovelessness
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Obstaja neka kultura brez ljubezni,
ki smo jo ustvarili okrog
transspolnih ljudi.
02:46
that we'vesmo createdustvarjeno around
transgendertransspolna oseba people.
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02:48
It's reasonedutemeljeno, justifiedupravičeno
and oftenpogosto signedpodpisano into lawzakon.
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Opravičujemo jo z razumom
in pogosto uzakonimo,
02:51
And I was a heartbeatsrčni utrip away
from internalizingkot notranje that messagesporočilo,
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in bil sem le malce stran
od ponotranjenja tega sporočila,
02:54
that I wasn'tni bilo worthyvreden.
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da nisem vreden.
A Kim je rekla, da sem bil popoln -
02:56
But KimKim said that I was her idealidealen --
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ta zmeda z zlomljenim srcem.
02:58
the heartbrokenSkrhana srca messnered that I was.
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(Smeh)
02:59
(LaughterSmeh)
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03:01
KKMKKM: He totallypopolnoma was my idealidealen.
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KKM: Res je bil popoln zame.
03:03
(LaughterSmeh)
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(Smeh)
03:04
In more waysnačinov than one.
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Na več načinov.
03:05
BothOba poetspesniki, writerspisatelji, creativesoglasi
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Oba sva pesnika, pisatelja, ustvarjalca,
03:08
with a long historyzgodovina
of communityskupnosti work behindzadaj us,
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z dolgo zgodovino dela
za skupnost za nama
03:10
and bigvelik, hugeogromno dreamssanje
of a familydružina in frontspredaj of us,
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in velikimi, ogromnimi sanjami
o družini pred nama.
03:13
we shareddeljeno a lot of things in commonpogosti,
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Veliko sva imela skupnega,
a bila sva prav tako različna.
03:15
but we were alsotudi incrediblyneverjetno differentdrugačen.
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03:17
I've been a lifelongvse življenje travelerpopotnik
and a bitbit of an orphansirote,
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Jaz sem bila celo življenje
popotnica in malo sirota,
03:20
whereasmedtem ko he comesprihaja from a hugeogromno familydružina,
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medtem ko je on iz velike družine
03:22
and definitelydefinitivno staysostane groundedutemeljen.
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in definitivno z nogami trdno na tleh.
03:24
I oftenpogosto kindvrste of sumvsota up
the differencesrazlike in our strengthsprednosti
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Pogosto povzamem najine razlike,
03:27
by sayinggovoriti, "Keep me safevarno,
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rekoč: "Ti poskrbi, da bom varna,
jaz pa, da boš divji."
03:28
and I'll keep you wilddivji."
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03:30
(LaughterSmeh)
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(Smeh)
03:34
TMTM: We have marginalizedmarginalizirane identitiesidentitet
but we don't livev živo marginalizedmarginalizirane livesživi.
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TM : Najini identiteti sta obrobni,
a midva ne živiva življenj na robu.
03:39
BeingSe queerkvir and transtrans is about creatingustvarjanje
newnovo waysnačinov of existingobstoječe.
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Biti kvir in trans pomeni ustvarjati
nove valove obstoja.
03:42
It's about lovingljubezni people as they are,
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Pomeni ljubiti ljudi, take kot so,
03:44
not as they're supposeddomnevno to be.
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ne kot bi morali biti.
03:46
KimKim is unapologeticallyunapologetically femininežensko
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Kim se ne opravičuje za svojo ženstvenost
03:48
in a worldsvet that is oftenpogosto cruelkruto and violentnasilno
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v svetu, ki je pogosto krut in nasilen
03:51
to womenženske who are
too proudponosen and too freeingsprostitev.
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do žensk, ki so preveč
ponosne in osvobojene.
03:53
And I didn't entervnesite into this unionunija
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In jaz nisem šel v to zvezo
03:55
underSpodaj the auspicesokriljem that she
was going to be my helperpomočnik or my ribrebro,
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zato, da bila ona
moja pomočnica ali moje rebro,
03:58
but a fullyv celoti complexkompleksno --
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ampak kompleksna -
04:00
(LaughterSmeh)
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(Smeh)
04:01
KKMKKM: Right? That's not right.
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KKM: Kajne? To ni prav.
TM: Ampak kompleksen človek,
04:04
TMTM: But a fullyv celoti complexkompleksno humančlovek beingbiti
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katerega ženstvenost ni tu, da jo
prevladam, nadzorujem ali kritiziram.
04:05
whosečigar femininityženskosti wasn'tni bilo for me
to reignvladanja in, controlnadzor or critiqueKritika.
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04:09
It's her brilliancesijaj,
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To je njena briljantnost,
04:10
the way she leadsvodi with compassionsočutje,
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kako vodi s sočutjem
04:12
and how she never losesizgubi
sightpogled of her empathysočutje.
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in kako nikoli ne izgubi svoje empatije.
04:14
She has been my herojunak sinceod day one.
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Moj heroj je že od prvega dne.
(Aplavz)
04:18
(ApplauseAplavz)
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04:21
KKMKKM: Our relationshiprazmerje has always been
about settingnastavitev eachvsak other freeprost.
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KKM: V najinem razmerju sva od nekdaj
osvobajala drug drugega.
04:25
One of the first questionsvprašanja I askedvprašal him
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Eno izmed prvih mojih vprašanj je bilo,
04:27
was what dreamssanje he had left to accomplishizpolniti,
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katere sanje si še želi uresničiti
in kako naj mu pomagam pri tem.
04:29
and how would I help him get there.
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04:31
His dreamssanje to livev živo as a poetpesnik,
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Njegove sanje živeti kot pesnik,
04:33
to adoptsprejme and raisedvigni a familydružina togetherskupaj,
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posvojiti in skupaj vzgajati družino,
04:35
to livev živo a life that he was proudponosen of,
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živeti ponosno življenje,
04:37
and one that would livev živo up to
his mother'smatere incredibleneverjetno legacyzapuščina.
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ki bi dosegalo neverjetno
zapuščino njegove matere.
04:41
And I really appreciatedcenijo that we
were ablesposoben to startZačni from that placemesto,
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In res sem hvaležna, da sva začela tako
04:44
and not from a placemesto
that was around figuringfiguring out
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in ne, ko bi še ugotavljala,
04:47
how to make eachvsak other work togetherskupaj.
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kako sploh biti drug z drugim.
04:49
And I think this really alloweddovoljeno us
to growrastejo into the people that we were
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Menim, da nama je to omogočilo
zrasti v človeka, kot sva danes,
04:53
in a way that was incrediblyneverjetno differentdrugačen.
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na neverjetno drugačen način.
04:55
I love him wholeceloto;
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Celega ga ljubim;
04:57
pre-transitionpred prehodom, now and in the futureprihodnost.
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pred spremembo, sedaj in v prihodnosti.
04:59
And it's this love that had us
committedstorjeno to eachvsak other
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In to je ljubezen, zaradi
katere sva si bila predana,
05:02
before we'dBili bi even seenvidel eachvsak other'sdrugi facesobrazi.
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preden sva sploh videla
obraz drug drugega.
05:06
TMTM: My mother'smatere biggestnajvečji
concernskrb when I transitionedtransitioned
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TM: Največja skrb moje mame
po moji tranziciji
05:09
was who was going to love me as I am.
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je bila, kdo me bo ljubil takega, kot sem.
05:11
Had beingbiti transgendertransspolna oseba somehownekako
precludedizključeno me from love and monogamymonogamija
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Mi je dejstvo, da sem transspolen,
nekako onemogočalo ljubezen in monogamijo,
05:17
because I was supposedlydomnevno
bornRojen in the wrongnarobe bodytelo?
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ker naj bi se rodil v napačnem telesu?
05:20
But it's this typetip of structuringstrukturiranje
that has to be reframedpreoblikovano
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A take vrste strukturiranje
moramo spremeniti,
05:23
in orderred to let love in.
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da spustimo noter ljubezen.
05:25
My bodytelo never betrayedizdano me,
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Moje telo me ni nikoli izdalo
05:27
and my bodytelo was never wrongnarobe.
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in moje telo ni bilo nikoli napačno.
05:29
It's this restrictiveomejevalnih,
binarybinarni thinkingrazmišljanje on genderspol
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Krivo je to restriktivno,
binarno pojmovanje spola
05:32
that said that I didn't existobstajajo.
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ki je reklo, da ne obstajam.
05:34
But when we metsrečal,
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A ko sva se srečala,
05:35
she lovedLjubil sem me for exactlytočno how I showedpokazala up.
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me je ljubila takega, kot sem bil.
05:38
She would tracesled her fingersprste
alongskupaj the numbNumb keloidkeloid scarsbrazgotine
135
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2951
S prsti je šla čez neobčutljive
keloidne brazgotine,
05:41
left by my topna vrh surgeryoperacija.
136
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1736
ki jih je pustila operacija.
05:42
ScarsBrazgotine that runteči from the middlesredi of my chestprsni koš
all the way out to my outerzunaj torsotrup.
137
330905
4016
Brazgotine, ki potekajo od sredine
mojega prsnega koša vse do roba.
05:46
She said that these were
remindersOpomniki of my strengthmoč
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2750
Rekla je, da so to opomniki moje moči
05:49
and everything that I wentšla throughskozi
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in vsega, kar sem prestal
in da se nimam ničesar sramovati.
05:51
and nothing for me to be ashamedsram of.
140
339424
1778
Tako je bilo dirjanje z njo v zakon
najbolj kvir stvar, ki sem jo naredil.
05:53
So sprintingšprint towardsproti her handroka in marriagezakon
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2008
05:55
was the queerestqueerest thing that I could do.
142
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1926
(Smeh)
05:57
(LaughterSmeh)
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1426
05:59
It flewpoletel in the faceobraz of more
conventionalkonvencionalno trajectoriestrajektorije
144
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2774
Šlo je stran od ustaljenih tirnic
06:02
of love and relationshipsodnose,
145
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ljubezni in razmerij,
06:04
because God was never supposeddomnevno
to blessblagoslovi a unionunija for folksljudje like us,
146
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3146
ker bog naj ne bi blagoslovil
zveze, kot je najina,
06:07
and the lawzakon was never
supposeddomnevno to recognizeprepoznati it.
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in zakon naj je nikoli ne bi prepoznal.
06:10
KKMKKM: So on MayMaja 5, 2014,
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KKM: 5. maja 2014,
06:14
just about threetri monthsmesecev
after meetingsrečanje onlinena spletu,
149
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3081
samo 3 mesece po tem,
ko sva se spoznala na spletu,
06:17
we were marriedporočen on the stepskorakov
of CityMesto HallDvorana in ManhattanManhattan,
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4580
sva se poročila na stopnicah
mestne hiše v Manhattnu
06:21
and it was beautifullepo
in everyvsak conceivablemogoče zamisliti way.
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3657
in bilo je lepo na vse možne načine.
06:25
It's safevarno to say that we
reimaginedREIMAGINED some traditionstradicije,
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3287
Lahko rečemo, da sva si na novo
zamislila nekatere tradicije,
06:29
but we alsotudi kepthranijo some oldstar onestiste
that we workeddelal in,
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377128
2814
a obdržala tudi nekatere stare,
jih vključila
06:31
and we createdustvarjeno something
that workeddelal for us.
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379966
2111
in ustvarila nekaj, kar nama je ustrezalo.
06:34
My bouquetšopek and corsagezgornji del ženske obleke was actuallydejansko fillednapolnjena
with wildflowerswildflowers from BrooklynBrooklyn --
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382101
5300
Moj šopek in zapestnica sta bila
polna divjih rož iz Brooklyna -
06:39
alsotudi addeddodano in a little bitbit of lavendersivka
and sagežajbelj to keep us groundedutemeljen
156
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4109
z dodatkom sivke in
janeža za prizemljitev,
06:43
because we were so nervousživčni.
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1707
ker sva bila tako nervozna.
06:45
And it was put togetherskupaj by a sweetsladko
sistersestra healerzdravilec friendprijatelj of oursnaša.
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Sestavila ga je najina
prijateljica zdravilka.
06:48
I never wanted a diamonddiamant ringprstan,
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1639
Nisem si želela diamantnega prstana, ker
konflikti in konvencionalnost niso zame,
06:50
because conflictkonflikt and conventionkonvencija
are not my thing,
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398506
2468
zato je moj prstan vijolične barve,
06:52
so my ringprstan is the deepestNajgloblji purplevijolična,
161
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1805
06:54
like the colorbarva of my crownkrono chakračakra,
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kot je barva moje najvišje čakre
06:56
and setnastavite in placemesto with my birthstonesbirthstones.
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in vstavljena v prstan
s kamni mojega rojstva.
06:59
The giftdarilo of queernessčudno is optionsopcije.
164
407133
1968
Darilo kvirnosti so možnosti.
07:01
I never had to chooseizberite his last nameime,
165
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Ni mi bilo treba izbrati
njegovega priimka, nikoli ni bilo izjema,
07:03
it was never an exceptionizjema,
166
411285
1622
07:04
but I did because I am
my father'soče bastardprasec childotrok,
167
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ampak sem ga, ker sem
nezakonski otrok mojega očeta,
07:08
someonenekdo who has always been
an apologyopravičilo, a secretskrivnost, an impositionnaložitev.
168
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4002
nekdo, ki je bil vedno opravičilo,
skrivnost, breme.
07:12
And it was incrediblyneverjetno freeingsprostitev
169
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2053
In bilo je neverjetno osvobajajoče
07:14
to chooseizberite the nameime of a man
who choseizbral me first.
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izbrati ime človeka, ki me je izbral prvi.
07:17
(ApplauseAplavz)
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(Aplavz)
07:24
TMTM: So we told some familydružina
and some closeblizu friendsprijatelji,
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3044
TM: Tako sva povedala družini
in nekaterim bližnjim,
07:27
manyveliko of whomkoga were still in disbeliefnevjernost
as we tookvzel our vowszaobljube.
173
435999
3198
mnogi izmed njih še vedno presenečeni,
ko sva si izmenjala zaobljube.
07:32
FittinglyFittingly, we postedObjavljeno all of our weddingPoroka
photosfotografije on FacebookFacebook,
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440026
3089
Seveda sva objavila vse najine
poročne fotografije na Facebooku,
07:35
where we metsrečal --
175
443139
1201
kjer sva se spoznala -
07:36
and InstagramInstagram, of courseseveda.
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1725
in tudi na Instagramu, seveda.
07:38
And we quicklyhitro realizedrealiziran
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In hitro sva ugotovila,
07:40
that our comingprihajajo togetherskupaj was more
than just a unionunija of two people,
178
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3198
da je bilo najino združenje
več kot samo unija dveh ljudi,
07:43
but was a modelmodel of possibilitymožnost
for the millionsmilijoni of LGBTQLGBTQ folksljudje
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3982
ampak model možnosti
za milijone LGBTQ-jevcev,
07:47
who have been soldprodano this lielaž
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455426
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ki so jim prodali to laž,
07:48
that familydružina and matrimonyzakonu
is antitheticalAntitetičan to who they are --
181
456779
2929
da sta družina in zakon
njihovo nasprotje -
07:51
for those of us
who rarelyredko get to see ourselvessami
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2730
za tiste izmed nas, ki se redko vidimo
07:54
reflectedodraža in love and happinesssreča.
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v ljubezni in sreči.
07:56
KKMKKM: And the thing is,
184
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1151
KKM: In veste,
07:57
absolutelyabsolutno we are marginalizedmarginalizirane
because of our identitiesidentitet,
185
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2722
seveda sva marginalizirana
zaradi najinih identitet,
08:00
but it alsotudi emboldensemboldens us
to be the people that we are.
186
468359
3335
a to naju tudi opogumlja,
da sva taka kot sva.
08:04
QueernessČudno is our majorMajor keyključ;
187
472049
1900
Kvirnost je najina bit,
08:05
blacknessčrnina is our magicmagija.
188
473973
1902
temnopoltost pa najina magija.
08:07
It's because of these things
189
475899
1596
In zato
08:09
that we are ablesposoben to be hopefulupam, openodprto,
receptivedojemljivi and shape-shiftingoblike preusmeritvijo.
190
477519
4757
sva lahko polna upanja, odprta
in spreminjajoča se.
08:14
These are the things that give us,
191
482726
1773
To so stvari, ki nama dajejo,
08:16
and are suchtako an incredibleneverjetno
sourcevir of, our strengthmoč.
192
484523
2612
in so tak neverjeten vir moči.
08:19
Our queernessčudno is a sourcevir
of that strengthmoč.
193
487159
2268
Najina kvirnost je vir te moči.
08:21
I think of the wordsbesede of Ottawa-basedOttawa temelji
poetpesnik BrandonBrandon WintWint:
194
489451
3110
Mislim na besede pesnika
iz Ottawe, Brandona Winta:
08:25
"Not queerkvir like gaygej;
queerkvir like escapinguhaja definitionopredelitev.
195
493054
4112
"Ne kvir kot gej;
kvir kot izmikajoč se definiciji.
08:29
Queerkvir like some sortRazvrsti of fluiditytekočina
and limitlessnesslimitlessness all at onceenkrat.
196
497190
4142
Kvir kot fluidnost
in brezmejnost, vse naenkrat.
08:33
Queerkvir like a freedomsvobodo
too strangečudno to be conqueredosvojil.
197
501720
2978
Kvir kot svoboda, preveč čudna,
da bi bila premagana.
08:36
Queerkvir like the fearlessnessneustrašnost
to imaginezamislite what love can look like,
198
504722
3267
Kvir kot neustrašnost si predstavljati,
kaj je lahko ljubezen,
08:40
and to pursueslediti it."
199
508013
1278
in njeno iskanje."
08:42
TMTM: We are partdel of a communityskupnosti of folksljudje --
200
510114
2279
TM: Sva del skupnosti ljudi -
08:44
Yeah, that's good right?
201
512417
1172
To je bilo dobro, ne?
08:45
(LaughterSmeh)
202
513613
1578
(Smeh)
08:48
We are partdel of a communityskupnosti of folksljudje
who are livingživeti theirnjihovi authenticverodostojna selvessebe
203
516843
3790
Sva del skupnosti ljudi,
ki živijo avtentično,
08:52
all alongskupaj the genderspol spectrumspekter,
204
520657
2015
po vsem spektru spola,
08:54
despiteKljub the ubiquitouspovsod threatgrožnja of violencenasilje,
205
522696
2504
kljub grožnjam z nasiljem,
08:57
despiteKljub the undercurrentpovršjem of anxietyanksioznost
that always is presentprisotni
206
525224
3033
kljub spodaj ležeči anksioznosti,
ki je vedno prisotna
09:00
for people who livev živo on theirnjihovi ownlastno termspogoji.
207
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2268
pri ljudeh, ki živijo po svoje.
09:02
GloballyGlobalno, a transgendertransspolna oseba personoseba
is murderedumorjen everyvsak 21 hoursure.
208
530573
3975
Po svetu je vsakih 21 ur
ubita ena transspolna oseba.
09:07
And the UnitedVelika StatesDržave has had more
transtrans murdersumorov on recordzapis this yearleto
209
535153
6599
In v Združenih državah so letos zabeležili
več umorov trans oseb
09:13
than any yearleto to datedatum.
210
541776
1417
kot katerokoli leto do zdaj.
09:15
HoweverVendar, our storieszgodbe are much more
than this rigidtogo dichotomydihotomijo
211
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4065
A naše zgodbe so toliko
več kot ta rigidna dihotomija
09:19
of strengthmoč and resilienceodpornost.
212
547306
1452
moči in vzdržljivosti.
09:20
We are expandingširjenje the humančlovek
complexitykompleksnost on these marginsmarže,
213
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4117
Človeško kompleksnost
razširjamo na teh obrobjih
09:24
and we are creatingustvarjanje freedomsvobodo
on these marginsmarže.
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2750
in ustvarjamo svobodo na teh obrobjih.
09:28
KKMKKM: And we don't have any blueprintsnačrti.
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2196
KKM: In nimamo nobenih predhodnih navodil.
09:30
We're creatingustvarjanje a worldsvet
that we have literallydobesedno never seenvidel before;
216
558508
3854
Ustvarjamo svet, ki ga dobesedno
nismo še nikoli videli;
09:34
organizingorganiziranje familiesdružine basedtemelji
on love and not by bloodkri,
217
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3621
ustvarjamo družine osnovane na ljubezni
in ne sorodstvenih vezeh,
09:38
guidingvodenje by a compassionsočutje that so fewmalo of us
have been shownprikazano ourselvessami.
218
566031
3952
vodimo s sočutjem, ki smo ga
prejeli le redki izmed nas.
09:42
So manyveliko of us have not receivedprejeto
love from our familiesdružine --
219
570493
4014
Mnogi izmed nas nismo prejeli
ljubezni naših družin -
09:46
have been betrayedizdano by the people
that we trustzaupanje mostnajbolj.
220
574531
2819
izdali so nas ljudje,
ki smo jih najbolj zaupali.
09:49
So what we do here is we createustvarite
entirelypopolnoma newnovo languagesjezikov of love.
221
577670
4351
Tako tu ustvarjava popolnoma
nove jezike ljubezni.
09:54
OnesTisti that are about creatingustvarjanje the spaceprostor
for us to be our authenticverodostojna selvessebe
222
582477
4397
Taki, ki ustvarjajo prostore
za nas, kjer smo lahko to, kar smo,
09:58
and not imposingnalaganje this standardstandard
223
586898
2046
in ne vsiljujemo standarda,
10:00
of what masculinitymoškost or femininityženskosti
is supposeddomnevno to be.
224
588968
2901
kaj naj bi bila moškost in ženstvenost.
10:04
TMTM: We are interestedzainteresirani
in love and inclusionvključitev
225
592719
2296
TM: Zanima naju ideja
ljubezni in vključenosti
10:07
as a toolorodje of revolutionaryrevolucionarno changesprememba, right?
226
595039
2648
kot orodij za revolucionarno
spremembo, kajne?
10:10
And the ideaideja is simplypreprosto,
227
598120
1634
In preprosta ideja je,
10:11
if we droppadec all our preconceivedpredsodkom notionspojmi
228
599778
2126
da če izgubimo predhodne predstave
10:13
about how somebodynekdo is supposeddomnevno to be --
229
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2060
o tem, kakšen naj bi nekdo bil -
10:16
in theirnjihovi bodytelo, in theirnjihovi
genderspol, in theirnjihovi skinkoža --
230
604012
3175
v svojem telesu,
v svojem spolu, svoji koži -
10:19
if we take the intentionalnamerno stepskorakov
to unlearnnaučeno these deep-seatedgloboko zakoreninjenih biasespristranskosti
231
607211
3756
in če se namenoma poskušamo odvaditi teh
globoko zakoreninjenih predsodkov
10:22
and createustvarite spaceprostor for people
to be self-determinedsamostojno določi,
232
610991
2592
in ustvarimo prostor za ljudi,
ki se določajo sami
10:25
and embraceObjemi who they are,
233
613607
1328
in sprejemajo to, kar so,
10:26
then we will definitelydefinitivno createustvarite a better
worldsvet than the one we were bornRojen into.
234
614959
3771
potem bomo zagotovo ustvarili boljši svet,
kot je ta, v katerem smo bili rojeni.
10:30
(ApplauseAplavz)
235
618754
1618
(Aplavz)
10:37
KKMKKM: We want to markoznačite this time in historyzgodovina
236
625954
2002
KKM: Hočeva označiti
to poglavje zgodovine,
10:39
by leavingodhod evidencedokazov of the factdejstvo
that we were here.
237
627980
2768
tako, da pustiva dokaze, da sva bila tu.
10:43
We openodprto up little windowsokna
into our relationshiprazmerje
238
631134
2998
Odpreva mala okna v najino razmerje,
10:46
for our communityskupnosti to bearmedveda witnesspriča,
239
634156
1673
da naju opazuje najina skupnost,
10:47
and we do this because we want
to make mapszemljevidi to the futureprihodnost
240
635853
3027
in to počneva, ker želiva narediti
zemljevide za prihodnost
10:50
and not monumentsspomeniki to ourselvessami.
241
638904
1982
in ne spomenike za naju.
10:53
Our experienceizkušnje does not invalidaterazveljavi
other peoples'narodi " experienceizkušnje,
242
641475
3778
Najine izkušnje ne negirajo
izkušenj drugih ljudi,
10:57
but it should and necessarilynujno does
complicatezaplete this ideaideja
243
645277
3580
ampak morajo in tudi zares
zakomplicirajo idejo
11:00
of what love and marriagezakon
are supposeddomnevno to be.
244
648881
2680
o tem, kakšna naj bi bila ljubezen
in zakon.
11:04
TMTM: OK, now for all the talkinggovoriti,
245
652691
1976
TM: Ok, kljub vsemu govorjenju,
11:06
and inspiringnavdihujoče,
246
654691
1440
navdihu
11:08
and possibility-modelingmožnost-modeliranje we'vesmo doneKončano,
247
656155
1732
in oblikovanju možnosti,
11:09
we'vesmo been nowherenikjer nearblizu perfectpopolno.
248
657911
1725
nisva niti malo popolna.
11:11
And we'vesmo had to holddržite
a mirrorogledalo up to ourselvessami.
249
659660
2277
In morala sva se pogledati v ogledalo.
11:14
And I saw that I wasn'tni bilo
always the bestnajboljši listenerPoslušalec,
250
662320
2815
Videl sem, da nisem
vedno najboljši poslušalec
11:17
and that my egoego got in the way
of our progressnapredek as a couplepar.
251
665159
3285
in da je moj ego v napoto
najinemu napredku kot par.
11:20
And I've had to really assessoceniti
these deep-seatedgloboko zakoreninjenih, sexistseksističnih ideasideje
252
668468
3368
Res sem moral pregledati vse te
globoko zakoreninjene, seksistične ideje
11:23
that I've had about the valuevrednost
of a woman'sženska experienceizkušnje in the worldsvet.
253
671860
3301
o tem, kakšna je vrednost
ženske izkušnje v svetu.
Moral sem na novo premisliti,
kaj pomeni biti v zavezništvu z mojo ženo.
11:27
I've had to reevaluatereevaluate what it meanssredstva
to be in allyshipallyship with my wifežena.
254
675185
3434
11:31
KKMKKM: And I had to remindopomni myselfjaz
of a lot of things, too.
255
679610
3185
KKM: Tudi sama sem se morala opomniti
pri nekaterih stvareh.
11:34
What it meanssredstva to be hardtežko on the issuesvprašanja,
256
682819
1984
Kaj pomeni biti nepopustljiv
pri problemih,
11:36
but softmehko on the personoseba.
257
684827
1752
a usmiljen z osebo.
11:38
While we were writingpisanje this,
we got into a massiveogromno fightboj.
258
686603
3432
Ko sva tole pisala, sva se pošteno sprla.
11:42
(LaughterSmeh)
259
690459
1777
(Smeh)
11:45
For so manyveliko differentdrugačen reasonsrazlogov,
260
693806
1918
Iz toliko različnih razlogov,
11:47
but basedtemelji on the contentvsebino about our valuesvrednosti
and our livedživel experiencesizkušnje --
261
695748
4331
a osnovano na najinih vrednotah
in najinih izkušnjah
11:52
and we were really hurtboli, you know?
262
700103
1748
in bila sva res prizadeta, veste?
11:53
Because what we do and how we love
putsstavi ourselvessami entirelypopolnoma on the lineline.
263
701875
5050
Ker sva pri tem, kar počneva
in kako ljubiva, zelo izpostavljena.
11:59
But even thoughčeprav the fightboj lastedje trajal
over the courseseveda of two daysdnevi --
264
707489
3439
Pa čeprav je najin prepir trajal dva dni -
12:02
(LaughterSmeh)
265
710952
1289
(Smeh)
12:04
We were ablesposoben to come back
togetherskupaj to eachvsak other,
266
712265
2819
Sva uspela priti nazaj k drug drugemu
12:07
and recommitponovno to ourselvessami,
to eachvsak other and to our marriagezakon.
267
715108
4153
in se na novo predati sebi,
drug drugemu in najinemu zakonu.
12:11
And that really yieldedprinesla
some of the mostnajbolj passionatestrasten partsdeli
268
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In to je ustvarilo nekatere
najbolj strastne dele
12:14
of what we sharedeliti with you here todaydanes.
269
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1914
tega, kar danes deliva z vami.
12:16
TMTM: I have had to interrogatezasliševali masculinitymoškost,
270
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2232
TM: Moral sem izprašati moškost,
12:18
whichki I think doesn't happense zgodi enoughdovolj.
271
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kar menim, da se ne zgodi dovoljkrat.
12:20
I've had to interrogatezasliševali masculinitymoškost;
272
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1789
Moral sem izprašati moškost;
12:23
the toxicstrupeno privilegesprivilegiji that come
with beingbiti a man don't definedefinirati me,
273
731138
3492
toksični privilegiji, ki pridejo
z dejstvom, da sem moški, me ne določajo,
12:26
but I have to be accountableodgovoren
for how it showskaže up in my life everyvsak day.
274
734654
3316
a odgovoren sem za to, kako se pojavlja
v mojem življenju vsak dan.
12:30
I have alloweddovoljeno my wifežena
to do all of the emotionalčustveno laborporod
275
738484
3367
Dovolil sem, da moja žena
opravi ves čustveni napor,
12:33
of pryingradoveden openodprto the lineslinije of communicationkomunikacija
when I'd ratherprecej clamKremna up and runteči away.
276
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4238
ko poskuša začeti pogovor o nečem,
ko bi se sam najraje zaprl in zbežal.
12:38
(LaughterSmeh)
277
746137
1127
(Smeh)
12:39
I've strippedodlepil away emotionalčustveno supportpodporo
insteadnamesto tega of facingsooča my ownlastno vulnerabilitiesranljivosti,
278
747288
4249
Odstranil sem emocionalno podporo, namesto
da bi se soočil z lastno ranljivostjo,
12:43
particularlyzlasti around the heartbreakingSrceparajući
miscarriagespontani splav we sufferedtrpel last yearleto,
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751561
3415
še posebej ob tragičnem
spontanem splavu, ki sva ga utrpela lani,
12:47
and I'm sorry for that.
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in žal mi je.
12:48
SometimesVčasih as menmoški,
we get to take the easyenostavno way out.
281
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2482
Včasih lahko kot moški izberemo lažjo pot.
12:51
And so my journeypotovanje as a transtrans personoseba
is about reimaginingreimagining masculinitymoškost.
282
759770
4427
Tako je moje potovanje kot trans moški,
da si na novo zamislim možatost.
12:56
About creatingustvarjanje a manhoodmoškosti
that isn't measuredmerjeno
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764838
2515
O ustvarjanju možatosti, ki se ne meri
12:59
by the powermoč it wieldswields,
by the entitlementspravice affordeddano to it,
284
767377
3544
z močjo, s katero upravlja,
s tem, do česa je upravičena,
13:02
or any simulacrumlažne of controlnadzor
that it can musterzbirni,
285
770945
2505
ali vsako predstavo moči,
ki jo lahko zbere,
13:05
but worksdela in tandemtandem with femininityženskosti,
286
773474
1818
ampak dela skupaj z ženstvenostjo
13:07
and is guidedvodeni by my spiritduh.
287
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in jo vodi moj duh.
13:10
KKMKKM: Y'allY'all ...
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778924
1151
KKM: Joj ...
13:12
(ApplauseAplavz)
289
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(Aplavz)
13:16
And this has createdustvarjeno the spaceprostor
for my femininityženskosti to flourishrazcvetati
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784033
3878
In to ustvari prostor,
da moja ženstvenost vzcveti,
13:19
in a way I had never experiencedizkušeni before.
291
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kot še nikoli prej.
13:24
He never is threatenedogroženo by my sexualityseksualnost,
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Moja seksualnost ga nikoli ne ogroža,
13:27
he never policespolitik what I wearobrabo or how I actukrepati.
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nikoli ne ukazuje, kaj naj oblečem,
ali kako naj se vedem.
13:31
I cookkuhati but he does way more
of the cleaningčiščenje than I do.
294
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Kuham jaz ampak on veliko več čisti.
13:34
And when we're rushingrushing
to get out of the househiša
295
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In kadar se nama mudi iz hiše
13:37
and we have so much to handleročaj,
296
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1502
in imava toliko za opraviti,
13:38
he handlesročaji everything,
297
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on opravi vse,
zato da imam čas za ličenje
in urejanje frizure.
13:40
so I have time to do my hairlasje and makeuppobotati se.
298
808273
2187
13:42
(LaughterSmeh)
299
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(Smeh)
13:44
He understandsrazume that this is my armoroklep,
300
812279
2451
Razume, da je to moj oklep
13:46
and he never treatsobravnava femininityženskosti
as thoughčeprav it is frivolousneresno or superficialpovršni,
301
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4509
in nikoli ne tretira moje ženstvenosti
kot nekaj banalnega in površinskega,
13:51
and this, and him --
302
819287
1816
in to, in on -
13:53
he growsraste my experienceizkušnje
of genderspol everyvsak singlesamski day.
303
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3320
z njim vsak dan raste moja izkušnja spola.
13:56
TMTM: I love to watch her
get dressedoblečen in the morningjutro.
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2513
TM: Rad jo gledam, kako se zjutraj oblači.
13:59
WatchingGledal her in the closetomari,
305
827895
1342
Ko jo opazujem pred omaro,
14:01
looking for something comfortableudobno
and colorfulbarvita, and tighttesen,
306
829261
2885
kako išče nekaj udobnega
in barvitega in ozkega,
14:04
and safevarno --
307
832170
1432
in varnega -
14:05
(LaughterSmeh)
308
833626
1150
(Smeh)
14:07
But it's challengingizziv to watch her
negotiatepogajati se her decisionsodločitve
309
835093
2794
A izziv jo je opazovati,
kako tehta svoje odločitve
14:09
looking for something that's going
to get the leastvsaj amountznesek of attentionpozornost,
310
837911
3488
in išče nekaj, kar bi zbudilo
najmanj pozornosti,
a je obenem izraz živahne
in seksi ženske, kakršna je.
14:13
but at the sameenako time be an expressionizraz
of the vibrantživahen and sexyseksi womanženska she is.
311
841423
3621
Vse, kar si želim, je,
jo občudovati v njeni lepoti
14:17
And all I want to do is celebrateproslavi
her for her beautylepota,
312
845068
2738
in vseh stvareh, ki jo delajo
lepo in posebno in svobodno,
14:19
and the things that make her
beautifullepo and specialposeben and freeprost,
313
847830
2897
od njenih dolgih umetnih nohtov,
14:22
from her long acrylicakril nailsnohti,
314
850751
1451
do brezkompromisnega
temnopoltega feminizma.
14:24
to her uncompromisingbrezkompromisno blackčrna feminismfeminizem.
315
852226
2020
14:26
(ApplauseAplavz)
316
854270
1666
(Aplavz)
14:31
KKMKKM: I love you. TMTM: I love you.
317
859315
1651
KKM: Ljubim te. TM: Ljubim te.
14:32
(LaughterSmeh)
318
860990
1150
(Smeh)
14:34
KKMKKM: There are so manyveliko queerkvir
and transtrans people
319
862788
2244
KKM: Toliko je kvir in trans ljudi,
14:37
who have come before us,
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865056
1393
ki so bili tu pred nama,
14:38
whosečigar storieszgodbe we will never get to hearslišite.
321
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2695
katerih zgodbe ne bomo nikoli slišali.
14:41
We constantlynenehno experienceizkušnje
this retellingretelling of historyzgodovina
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869547
3276
Neprestano izkušamo
ponovno pisanje zgodovine,
kjer smo opazno izpuščeni.
14:44
where we are conspicuouslyvidno left out.
323
872847
2136
14:47
And it's really hardtežko
to not see ourselvessami there.
324
875527
2845
Težko je, ker se ne vidimo v tem.
14:50
And so livingživeti out loudglasno for us
is about that representationzastopanje.
325
878891
3479
Zato živiva na ves glas
ravno zaradi reprezentacije.
14:54
It's about havingimeti possibilitymožnost modelsmodeli,
326
882798
2319
Gre za to, da imaš modele možnosti
14:57
and havingimeti hopeupanje that love is partdel
of our inheritancededovanje in this worldsvet, too.
327
885141
3861
in upanje, da je tudi ljubezen
del naše dediščine v tem svetu.
15:01
TMTM: The possibilitymožnost that we are practicingprakticiranje
328
889792
2006
TM: Ta možnost, ki jo izvajava,
15:03
is about reinventingponovno odkrivanje time,
love and institutionsinstitucije.
329
891822
2847
je ponovno izumljanje časa,
ljubezni in institucij.
15:07
We are creatingustvarjanje a futureprihodnost of multiplicitymnožljivost.
330
895093
2239
Ustvarjava prihodnost raznolikosti.
15:09
We are expandingširjenje the spectrumspekter
of genderspol and sexualityseksualnost,
331
897724
3075
Razširjamo spekter spola in seksualnosti,
15:12
imaginingsi predstavlja ourselvessami into existenceobstoj,
332
900823
1889
sebe si zamislimo v realnost,
15:15
imaginingsi predstavlja a worldsvet where genderspol
is self-determinedsamostojno določi and not imposeduvedene,
333
903167
3604
predstavljamo si svet, kjer si spol
določiš sam in ni vsiljen,
15:18
and where who we are
is a kaleidoscopekaleidoskop of possibilitymožnost
334
906795
2917
in kjer je to, kar smo,
kalejdoskop možnosti
15:21
withoutbrez the narrow-mindedZatucan limitationsomejitve
masqueradingmaškarada as scienceznanost or justicepravičnost.
335
909736
4379
brez ozkogledih omejitev zamaskiranih
v znanost ali pravico.
15:27
(ApplauseAplavz)
336
915193
1722
(Aplavz)
15:31
KKMKKM: And I can't lielaž:
337
919840
1345
KKM: In ne bom lagala,
15:33
it is really, really hardtežko.
338
921209
2056
res je težko.
15:35
It is hardtežko to standstojalo in the faceobraz of bigotryneumnost
339
923643
2693
Težko je stati nasproti fanatičnosti
15:38
with an openodprto heartsrce and a smilenasmeh on my faceobraz.
340
926360
2365
z odprtim srcem in nasmehom na obrazu.
15:40
It is really hardtežko to faceobraz the injusticenepravičnost
that existsobstaja in the worldsvet,
341
928749
3231
Resnično težko se je spopasti
z nepravičnostjo, ki obstaja v svetu,
15:44
while still believingverjeti in the abilitysposobnost
of people to really changesprememba.
342
932004
4030
in še vedno verjeti v zmožnost ljudi,
da se spremenijo.
15:48
That takes an enormousogromno amountznesek
of faithvera and dedicationpredanost.
343
936591
3068
Za to je potrebna neverjetna
količina vere in predanosti.
15:52
And beyondnaprej that,
344
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1286
Ob tem pa tudi,
15:53
marriagezakon is hardtežko work.
345
941368
2109
zakon je trdo delo.
15:55
(LaughterSmeh)
346
943501
1151
(Smeh)
15:56
PilesPiloti of dirtyumazano socksnogavice on the floornadstropje,
347
944676
2568
Kupi umazanih nogavic na tleh,
15:59
more boringdolgočasno sportsšport showskaže
than I ever thought possiblemogoče --
348
947268
3761
več dolgočasnih športnih oddaj,
kot sem si kadarkoli predstavljala -
16:03
(LaughterSmeh)
349
951053
1255
(Smeh)
16:04
And fightsbori that bringprinesi me to tearssolze
350
952743
1744
In prepiri, ki me pripeljejo do solz,
16:06
when it feelspočuti like we're not
speakinggovori the sameenako languagejezik.
351
954511
2865
ko se zdi, da sploh
ne govoriva istega jezika.
16:09
But there is not a day that goesgre by
352
957400
2119
A ne mine dan,
16:11
where I am not so gratefulhvaležen
to be marriedporočen to this man;
353
959543
3233
da ne bi bila hvaležna
za moj zakon s tem moškim;
16:14
where I'm not so gratefulhvaležen for
the possibilitymožnost of changingzamenjati mindsmisli,
354
962800
3826
kjer ne bi bila hvaležna
za možnost spreminjanja misli
16:18
and rewardingnagrajevanje conversationspogovori,
355
966650
1542
in nagrajujočih pogovorov
16:20
and creatingustvarjanje a worldsvet
where love belongspripada to us all.
356
968216
2980
in ustvarjanje sveta,
kjer ljubezen pripada vsem.
16:23
I think about our acronymakronim:
357
971658
1457
Pomislim na naš akronim:
16:25
LGBTQLGBTQ2SIASIA.
358
973139
3971
LGBTQ2SIA.
16:31
A seeminglynavidez endlessneskončno evolutionevolucijo
of selfjaz and a communityskupnosti,
359
979145
3653
Na videz neskončna evolucija
nas samih in skupnosti,
16:34
but alsotudi this really deepgloboko desireželja
not to leavedopust anyonekdorkoli behindzadaj.
360
982822
4035
a hkrati tudi globoka skrb,
da ne bi koga pustili za seboj.
16:39
We'veSmo learnednaučili how to love eachvsak other,
361
987525
1862
Naučila sva se ljubiti drug drugega
16:41
and we'vesmo committedstorjeno to lovingljubezni eachvsak other
throughoutves čas changesspremembe to genderspol
362
989411
3839
in predana sva ljubezni drug
do drugega skozi spremembe v spolu
16:45
and changesspremembe in spiritduh.
363
993274
1568
in spremembe v duhu.
16:47
And we learnednaučili this love
in our chatklepet roomssobe,
364
995319
2623
Te ljubezni sva se naučila
v naših klepetalnicah,
16:49
in our clubsklubi, in our barspalice
and in our communityskupnosti centerscentri.
365
997966
3680
v naših klubih, v naših barih
in naših centrih skupnosti.
16:53
We'veSmo learnednaučili how to love
eachvsak other for the long haulVlečenje.
366
1001670
2734
Naučila sva se ljubiti
drug drugega dolgoročno.
16:56
TMTM & KKMKKM: Thank you.
367
1004932
1172
TM & KKM: Hvala.
16:58
(ApplauseAplavz)
368
1006128
3100
(Aplavz)
Translated by Nika Kotnik
Reviewed by Tilen Pigac

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ABOUT THE SPEAKERS
Tiq Milan - Transgender activist
Already a tireless advocate for positive and honest portrayals of LGBTQ people in media, Tiq Milan now evangelizes for the unifying power of love.

Why you should listen

Tiq Milan speaks and writes about intersectional leadership, transgender rights and racial justice. He shares stories of his life and how his transgender experience has informed his views on masculinity, race and the gender binary. A journalist for over a decade, his work has appeared on MIC, Buzzfeed, NBC and CNN. He is also a strategic media consultant, helping organizations and companies create detailed media campaigns that engage diverse audiences in ways that are inclusive and authentic. 

Tiq has been most inspired by his years mentoring LGBT youth at the Bronx Community Pride Center and the Hetrick Martin Institute in the New York City. He was able to witness first hand the intersectional lived experiences of gay and trans youth and how it's affected by social systems put in place to help them. He most recently was the senior media strategist and national spokesperson for GLAAD, where he utlilized the media to call attention to the needs of the LGBT community, particularly transgender people of color.

Tiq is currently the co-Founder of Milan Media Arts Productions (MAPS) along with his wife, Kim Katrin Milan. MAPS is a content creation and consulting firm that is dedicated to creating narratives of queer people and their allies. View his published work, features and appearances here.

More profile about the speaker
Tiq Milan | Speaker | TED.com
Kim Katrin Milan - Writer, educator, artist
Through her art and writing, Kim Katrin Milan advocates for queer, trans and feminist issues. Now she’s using her own love story to help bridge communities.

Why you should listen

A daughter of the diaspora -- Afro-Caribbean, Venezuelan Arawak, Indian and Scottish, hailing from Trinidad and living between Toronto and New York -- Kim Katrin Milan is an acclaimed educator, writer and artist.

Kim is the co-founder and Executive Director of The People Project, an initiative to bring forth local and international community development for queer and trans folks of color and their allies through alternative education, art­-activism and collaboration. She is also one of the owners of the Glad Day Book Shop, the oldest LGBT bookstore in the world. 

As an educator, Kim travels around the world talking to people about justice, equity and human rights. She is dedicated to inclusivity and invested in arousing a sense of curiosity and empathy in her audience. She uniquely weaves together the historical context, statistical analysis, as well as current events.

A public researcher, consultant and human rights educator, Kim has shared hundreds of unique resources and presentations around intersectional issues including race, ability and gender. As a social entrepreneur, she speaks to the opportunities and challenges for women in business and leadership roles. With great openness, she welcomes difficult conversations hosting community dialogues and sharing practical strategies around sexuality and consent, queer and trans allyship. and anti-racism and equity.

Since 2012, Kim has spoken at universities including Princeton, Dartmouth, McGill and Mount Allison. She has opened for cultural scholar Cornel West at UC Davis, delivered the keynote address at HBCU's Morehouse and Spelman's first Pride, and she was a panelist at Amber Rose's first SlutWalk. She has hosted events for the United Nations, acted as the Grand Marshall for Hudson, NY Pride and hosted an session at Dreamforce 2016.

Kim has contributed to Cosmopolitan, MTV, NBC, Larry King Now, Buzzfeed and the CBC, both independently and alongside her husband Tiq Milan. She regularly contributes to TeleSUR English, the Central American news network.

More profile about the speaker
Kim Katrin Milan | Speaker | TED.com