TEDxOmaha
Sofia Jawed-Wessel: The lies we tell pregnant women
Sofia Jawed-Wessel: Mentiras que lles contamos ás mulleres embarazadas.
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"Cando lles dicimos ás mulleres que non paga a pena asumir riscos practicando sexo durante o embarazo, estamos a dicirlles que o seu pracer sexual non importa... que elas non importan," di Sofia Jawed-Wessel, investigadora sexual. Nesta reveladora charla, Sofía escarva nas nosas opinións sobre o embarazo para poñer ao descuberto a relación entre as mulleres, o sexo e os sistemas de poder.
Sofia Jawed-Wessel - Sex researcher
Sofia Jawed-Wessel's teachings utilize a sex-positive and pleasure-inclusive approach to providing medically accurate, comprehensive sexuality education. Full bio
Sofia Jawed-Wessel's teachings utilize a sex-positive and pleasure-inclusive approach to providing medically accurate, comprehensive sexuality education. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
We're going to share
a lot of secrets today, you and I,
a lot of secrets today, you and I,
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Hoxe imos compartir moitos segredos,
vostedes e mais eu,
vostedes e mais eu,
00:15
and in doing so, I hope that we can lift
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e no entanto, espero que poidamos disipar
00:18
some of the shame
many of us feel about sex.
many of us feel about sex.
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parte da vergoña que moitos
sentimos acerca do sexo.
sentimos acerca do sexo.
00:22
How many here have ever been
catcalled by a stranger?
catcalled by a stranger?
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Cantas de aquí recibiron algunha vez
piropos dun estraño?
piropos dun estraño?
00:28
Lots of women.
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Moitas mulleres.
00:30
For me, the time I remember best
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No meu caso, a vez que mellor lembro
00:33
is when that stranger
was a student of mine.
was a student of mine.
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foi cando ese estraño resultou ser
alumno meu.
alumno meu.
00:37
He came up to me after class that night
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Veu xunta min despois da clase esa noite
00:40
and his words confirmed
what I already knew:
what I already knew:
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e as súas palabras confirmáronme
o que xa sabía:
o que xa sabía:
00:43
"I am so sorry, professor.
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"Síntoo moito, profesora.
00:45
If I had known it was you,
I would never have said those things."
I would never have said those things."
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Se chego a saber que era vostede,
nunca lle diría esas cousas."
nunca lle diría esas cousas."
00:49
(Laughter)
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(Risas)
00:51
I wasn't a person to him
until I was his professor.
until I was his professor.
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Para el, xamais fun unha persoa
ata que me convertín na súa profesora.
ata que me convertín na súa profesora.
00:56
This concept, called objectification,
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Este concepto, chamado obxectualización,
00:59
is the foundation of sexism,
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é a base do sexismo,
01:01
and we see it reinforced
through every aspect of our lives.
through every aspect of our lives.
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e vémolo reforzado
en cada aspecto das nosas vidas.
en cada aspecto das nosas vidas.
01:07
We see it in the government
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Vémolo no goberno
01:09
that refuses to punish men
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que se nega a castigar aos homes
01:13
for raping women.
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por violaren mulleres.
01:15
We see it in advertisements.
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Vémolo nos anuncios.
01:17
How many of you have seen an advertisement
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Cantos de vostedes viron un anuncio
01:19
that uses a woman's breast
to sell an entirely unrelated product?
to sell an entirely unrelated product?
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que emprega un peito de muller para vender
un produto que nada ten que ver?
un produto que nada ten que ver?
01:26
Or movie after movie after movie
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Ou películas e películas e películas
01:30
that portrays women
as only love interests?
as only love interests?
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que retratan mulleres
que só se interesan polo amor?
que só se interesan polo amor?
01:34
These examples might seem
inconsequential and harmless,
inconsequential and harmless,
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Estes exemplos quizais semellen
intranscendentes e inofensivos,
intranscendentes e inofensivos,
01:37
but they're insidious,
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pero son perniciosos,
01:39
slowly building into a culture
that refuses to see women as people.
that refuses to see women as people.
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contribuíndo lentamente a unha cultura
que evita ver as mulleres como persoas.
que evita ver as mulleres como persoas.
01:43
We see this in the school
that sends home a 10-year-old girl
that sends home a 10-year-old girl
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Vémolo na escola que manda para a casa
a unha nena de 10 anos
a unha nena de 10 anos
01:48
because her clothes were
a distraction to boys trying to learn,
a distraction to boys trying to learn,
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porque a súa roupa distraía aos rapaces
que intentaban aprender,
que intentaban aprender,
01:51
or the government that refuses
to punish men for raping women
to punish men for raping women
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ou no goberno que rexeita castigar a homes
por violar mulleres
por violar mulleres
01:57
over and over,
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unha e outra vez,
01:58
or the woman who is killed
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ou na muller asasinada
02:00
because she asked a man to stop
grinding on her on the dance floor.
grinding on her on the dance floor.
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por pedirlle a un home que deixara
de pegarse a ela nunha pista de baile.
de pegarse a ela nunha pista de baile.
02:07
Media plays a large role in perpetuating
the objectification of women.
the objectification of women.
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Os medios xogan un papel relevante
para perpetuar a obxectualización feminina
para perpetuar a obxectualización feminina
02:13
Let's consider
the classic romantic comedy.
the classic romantic comedy.
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Pensemos na clásica comedia romántica.
02:16
We're typically introduced
to two kinds of women in these movies,
to two kinds of women in these movies,
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Estas películas adoitan presentarnos
dous tipos de muller,
dous tipos de muller,
02:20
two kinds of desirable women, anyway.
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dous tipos desexables, en calquera caso.
02:22
The first is the sexy bombshell.
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A primeira é a bomba sexy.
02:25
This is the unbelievably gorgeous woman
with the perfect body.
with the perfect body.
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Unha muller incriblemente fermosa
e cun corpo perfecto.
e cun corpo perfecto.
02:29
Our leading man
has no trouble identifying her
has no trouble identifying her
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O noso protagonista non ten problema
para identificala,
para identificala,
02:31
and even less trouble having sex with her.
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e menos aínda para ter
relacións sexuais con ela.
relacións sexuais con ela.
A segunda muller é a nosa protagonista,
02:34
The second is our leading lady,
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02:36
the beautiful but demure woman
our leading man falls in love with
our leading man falls in love with
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a muller fermosa pero tímida da que se
namora o protagonista masculino
namora o protagonista masculino
02:40
despite not noticing her at first
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aínda que ao principio
nin se decataba dela,
nin se decataba dela,
02:42
or not liking her if he did.
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ou non lle gustaba nadiña.
02:45
The first is the slut.
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A primeira é a rameira.
02:47
She is to be consumed and forgotten.
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Serve para ser consumida e esquecida.
02:49
She is much too available.
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Está sempre dispoñible.
02:51
The second is desirable but modest,
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A segunda é desexable mais humilde,
02:55
and therefore worthy
of our leading man's future babies.
of our leading man's future babies.
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e, polo tanto, digna dos futuros bebés
do noso protagonista.
do noso protagonista.
02:58
Marriage material.
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Material de matrimonio.
03:00
We're actually told
that women have two roles,
that women have two roles,
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Dinnos que as mulleres teñen dous roles,
03:03
but these two roles have a difficult time
existing within the same woman.
existing within the same woman.
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mais dificilmente poden existir
os dous nunha soa muller.
os dous nunha soa muller.
03:08
On the rare occasion
that I share with a new acquaintance
that I share with a new acquaintance
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Nas contadas ocasións en que lle conto
a alguén que acabo de coñecer
a alguén que acabo de coñecer
03:12
that I study sex,
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que estudo sobre sexo,
03:13
if they don't end
the conversation right then,
the conversation right then,
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se non corta a conversa nese mesmo
intre,
intre,
03:16
they're usually pretty intrigued.
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normalmente está bastante interesado.
03:19
"Oh. Tell me more."
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"Oh. Cóntame máis."
03:21
So I do.
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E fágoo.
03:24
"I'm really interested
in studying the sexual behaviors
in studying the sexual behaviors
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"Estou moi interesada en estudar
o comportamento sexual
o comportamento sexual
03:26
of pregnant and postpartum couples."
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de parellas embarazadas
e en posparto."
e en posparto."
03:28
At this point I get
a different kind of response.
a different kind of response.
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Neste punto recibo unha resposta
distinta.
distinta.
03:32
(Laughter)
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(Risas)
03:34
"Oh. Huh.
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"Oh. Vaia.
03:36
Do pregnant people even have sex?
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As embarazadas practican sexo?
03:40
Have you thought
about studying sexual desire
about studying sexual desire
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Non pensaches en estudar sobre
o desexo sexual
o desexo sexual
03:44
or orgasms?
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ou os orgasmos?
03:45
That would be interesting, and sexy."
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Iso sería interesante, e sexy."
Dicídeme. Cales son as primeiras palabras
que se vos ocorren
que se vos ocorren
03:50
Tell me. What are the first words
that come to mind
that come to mind
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03:52
when you picture a pregnant woman?
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ao pensardes nunha muller embarazada?
03:55
I asked this question
in a survey of over 500 adults,
in a survey of over 500 adults,
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Fíxenlle esta pregunta nunha enquisa
a máis de 500 adultos,
a máis de 500 adultos,
03:58
and most responded with "belly" or "round"
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e a maioría responderon
"barriga" ou "redonda"
"barriga" ou "redonda"
04:02
and "cute."
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e "adorable."
04:05
This didn't surprise me too much.
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Isto non me sorprendeu moito.
04:06
What else do we label as cute?
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Que máis catalogamos como adorable?
04:09
Babies. Puppies. Kittens.
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Bebés. Cachorriños. Gatiños.
04:12
The elderly. Right?
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Anciáns, non si?
04:14
(Laughter)
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(Risas)
04:17
When we label an adult as cute, though,
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Cando catalogamos un adulto
como adorable, pola contra,
como adorable, pola contra,
04:19
we take away a lot of their intelligence,
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quitámoslle gran parte
da súa intelixencia,
da súa intelixencia,
04:22
their complexity.
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da súa complexidade.
04:24
We reduce them to childlike qualities.
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Reducímolo a características infantís.
Tamén lles pedín a homes heterosexuais
04:27
I also asked heterosexual men
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04:29
to imagine a woman that they're
partnered with is pregnant,
partnered with is pregnant,
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que imaxinasen que a muller coa que
estaban era unha embarazada,
estaban era unha embarazada,
04:32
and then asked women
to imagine that they are pregnant,
to imagine that they are pregnant,
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e logo pedinlles a mulleres
que se imaxinasen embarazadas,
que se imaxinasen embarazadas,
04:35
and then tell me
the first words that come to mind
the first words that come to mind
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e despois me dixeran as primeiras
palabras que pensaron
palabras que pensaron
04:37
when they imagine having sex.
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ao imaxinárense practicando sexo.
04:40
Most of the responses were negative.
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A maioría das respostas foron negativas.
04:44
"Gross."
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"Noxento."
04:45
"Awkward."
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"Difícil."
04:47
"Not sexy." "Odd."
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"Nada sexy." "Raro."
04:49
"Uncomfortable."
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"Incómodo."
04:51
"How?"
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"Como?"
04:52
(Laughter)
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(Risas)
04:55
"Not worth the trouble."
"Not worth the risk."
"Not worth the risk."
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"Non paga a pena a molestia."
"Non paga a pena o risco."
"Non paga a pena o risco."
04:58
That last one really stuck with me.
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Isto último marcoume especialmente.
05:01
We might think that because we divorce
pregnant women and moms from sexuality,
pregnant women and moms from sexuality,
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Quizais pensemos que porque separamos
as embarazadas e as nais da sexualidade,
as embarazadas e as nais da sexualidade,
05:06
we are removing the constraints
of sexual objectification.
of sexual objectification.
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eliminamos as limitacións
da obxectualización sexual.
da obxectualización sexual.
05:11
They experience less sexism. Right?
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Elas sofren menos sexismo. De acordo?
05:14
Not exactly.
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Non exactamente.
05:15
What happens instead
is a different kind of objectification.
is a different kind of objectification.
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O que sucede no seu lugar
é outro tipo de obxectualización.
é outro tipo de obxectualización.
05:19
In my efforts to explain this to others,
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Nos meus intentos
de explicarlle isto a outros,
de explicarlle isto a outros,
05:22
one conversation
led to the Venus of Willendorf,
led to the Venus of Willendorf,
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unha conversa levounos á Venus de
Willendorf,
Willendorf,
05:25
a Paleolithic figurine scholars assumed
was a goddess of love and beauty,
was a goddess of love and beauty,
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unha figuriña do Paleolítico
considerada polos investigadores
considerada polos investigadores
a deusa do amor e da beleza,
05:30
hence the name Venus.
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de aí o de Venus.
05:32
This theory was later revised, though,
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Pero esta teoría revisouse máis tarde,
05:34
when scholars noted
the sculptor's obvious focus
the sculptor's obvious focus
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cando os investigadores notaron
a obvia fixación do escultor
a obvia fixación do escultor
05:38
on the figurine's reproductive features:
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nos atributos sexuais da figuriña:
05:41
large breasts,
considered ideal for nursing;
considered ideal for nursing;
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grandes peitos,
considerados ideais para aleitar;
considerados ideais para aleitar;
05:45
a round, possibly pregnant belly;
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Unha barriga redonda
e posiblemente embarazada;
e posiblemente embarazada;
05:47
the remnants of red dye,
alluding to menstruation or birth.
alluding to menstruation or birth.
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os restos de tintura vermella,
aludindo á menstruación ou ao parto.
aludindo á menstruación ou ao parto.
05:52
They also assumed that she was
meant to be held or placed lying down
meant to be held or placed lying down
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Tamén supuxeron que se fixera para
ser collida ou depositala deitada
ser collida ou depositala deitada
05:56
because her tiny feet
don't allow her to be freestanding.
don't allow her to be freestanding.
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xa que os seus pequenos pés
non lle permitirían aguantarse de pé.
non lle permitirían aguantarse de pé.
06:00
She also had no face.
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Tampouco tiña face.
06:02
For this reason, it was assumed
that she was a representation of fertility
that she was a representation of fertility
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Por esta razón, supúxose que era
a representación da fertilidade
a representación da fertilidade
06:06
and not a portrait of a person.
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e non o retrato dunha persoa.
06:09
She was an object.
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Era un obxecto.
06:11
In the history of her interpretation,
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Na historia da súa interpretación,
06:13
she went from object
of ideal beauty and love
of ideal beauty and love
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pasou de ser un obxecto
de beleza e amor ideais
de beleza e amor ideais
06:16
to object of reproduction.
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a ser un obxecto de reprodución.
06:19
I think this transition speaks more
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Penso que esta transición fala máis
06:21
about the scholars
who have interpreted her purpose
who have interpreted her purpose
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dos investigadores que interpretaron
o seu propósito
o seu propósito
06:25
than the actual purpose
of the figurine herself.
of the figurine herself.
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ca do propio propósito da
figuriña.
figuriña.
06:30
When a woman becomes pregnant,
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Cando unha muller queda embarazada,
06:32
she leaves the realm
of men's sexual desire
of men's sexual desire
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abandona o ámbito
do desexo sexual masculino
do desexo sexual masculino
06:36
and slides into her reproductive
and child-rearing role.
and child-rearing role.
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e introdúcese no seu papel
reprodutivo e de crianza.
reprodutivo e de crianza.
06:40
In doing so, she also becomes
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E ao facelo, tamén se converte
06:43
the property of the community,
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en propiedade da comunidade,
06:45
considered very important
but only because she's pregnant. Right?
but only because she's pregnant. Right?
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considerada moi importante
só polo feito de estar embarazada. Si?
só polo feito de estar embarazada. Si?
06:50
I've taken to calling this
the Willendorf effect,
the Willendorf effect,
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Chameille a isto o efecto Willendorf,
06:52
and once again we see it reinforced
in many aspects of her life.
in many aspects of her life.
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e unha vez máis vémolo reforzado
en moitos aspectos da vida da muller.
en moitos aspectos da vida da muller.
06:57
Has anyone here
ever been visibly pregnant?
ever been visibly pregnant?
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Algunha persoa aquí
estivo visiblemente embarazada?
estivo visiblemente embarazada?
06:59
(Laughter)
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(Risas)
07:00
Yeah. Lots of you, right?
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Xa. Moitas de vós, certo?
07:02
So how many of you ever had a stranger
touch your belly during pregnancy,
touch your belly during pregnancy,
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E cantas tivestes algunha vez un estraño
tocándovos a barriga durante o embarazo,
tocándovos a barriga durante o embarazo,
07:06
maybe without even asking
your permission first?
your permission first?
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incluso sen pedirvos permiso
primeiro?
primeiro?
07:09
Or told what you can and cannot eat
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Ou cantas veces alguén
que non era o voso médico,
que non era o voso médico,
07:12
by somebody who is not your doctor,
your medical care provider?
your medical care provider?
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o profesional médico que vos atende,
vos dixo o que podedes comer ou non?
vos dixo o que podedes comer ou non?
07:16
Or asked private questions
about your birth plan?
about your birth plan?
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Ou vos fixo preguntas privadas
sobre o voso plan de plan de parto?
sobre o voso plan de plan de parto?
07:20
And then told why
those choices are all wrong?
those choices are all wrong?
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E logo vos dixo por que
esas decisións están todas mal?
esas decisións están todas mal?
07:23
Yeah, me too.
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Xa, eu tamén.
07:24
Or had a server refuse
to bring you a glass of wine?
to bring you a glass of wine?
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Negouse un camareiro a traervos
un vaso de viño?
un vaso de viño?
07:29
This one might give you pause,
I know, but stay with me.
I know, but stay with me.
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Esta quizais vos dea que pensar, seino,
mais escoitade.
mais escoitade.
07:31
This is a huge secret.
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Este é un gran segredo.
07:33
It is actually safe to drink
in moderation during pregnancy.
in moderation during pregnancy.
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Beber con moderación durante o embarazo
é, en realidade, seguro.
é, en realidade, seguro.
07:38
Many of us don't know this
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Moitas de nós non o sabemos
07:40
because doctors don't trust
pregnant women with this secret --
pregnant women with this secret --
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porque os médicos non queren
confiarlles este segredo ás embarazadas,
confiarlles este segredo ás embarazadas,
07:43
(Laughter)
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(Risas)
07:49
especially if she's less educated
or a woman of color.
or a woman of color.
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especialmente se teñen un menor nivel
educativo ou son mulleres de cor.
educativo ou son mulleres de cor.
07:53
What this tells us is,
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O que isto quere dicir é
07:55
this Willendorf effect,
it's also classist and racist.
it's also classist and racist.
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que o efecto Willendorf é, ademais,
clasista e racista.
clasista e racista.
07:59
It's present when
the government reminds women
the government reminds women
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Está presente cando o goberno
lles lembra ás mulleres
lles lembra ás mulleres
08:05
with every new anti-choice bill
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con cada nova lei antielección
08:08
that the contents of her uterus
are not her own,
are not her own,
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que o contido dos seus úteros
non é seu,
non é seu,
08:11
or when an ob-gyn says,
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ou cando o xinecólogo lles di,
08:13
"While it's safe
to have sex during pregnancy,
to have sex during pregnancy,
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"Aínda que é seguro
practicar sexo no embarazo,
practicar sexo no embarazo,
08:15
sometimes you never know.
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un nunca sabe.
08:16
Better safe than sorry, right?"
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Mellor previr ca curar, non si?"
08:19
She's denied basic privacy
and bodily autonomy
and bodily autonomy
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Négaselle a súa privacidade básica e
a súa autonomía corporal
a súa autonomía corporal
08:23
under the guise of "be a good mother."
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co argumento de "se unha boa nai."
08:26
We don't trust her
to make her own decisions.
to make her own decisions.
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Non confiamos nela para tomar
as súas propias decisións.
as súas propias decisións.
08:29
She's cute, remember?
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É curriña, Lembrades?
08:33
When we tell women
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Cando lles dicimos ás mulleres
08:36
that sexual pleasure -- excuse me.
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que o pracer sexual, perdoade.
08:39
When we tell women that sex
isn't worth the risk during pregnancy,
isn't worth the risk during pregnancy,
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Ao dicirlles ás mulleres que o risco
do sexo durante o embarazo non paga a pena
do sexo durante o embarazo non paga a pena
08:43
what we're telling her is that
her sexual pleasure doesn't matter.
her sexual pleasure doesn't matter.
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o que lles dicimos é
que o seu pracer sexual non importa.
que o seu pracer sexual non importa.
08:48
So what we are telling her
is that she in fact doesn't matter,
is that she in fact doesn't matter,
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E, xa que logo, que elas non importan,
08:51
even though the needs of her fetus
are not at odds with her own needs.
are not at odds with her own needs.
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a pesar de que as necesidades do seu feto
non están en conflito coas súas propias.
non están en conflito coas súas propias.
08:57
So medical providers,
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Así que os profesionais médicos,
08:59
such as the American College
of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
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como o Colexio Americano de Xinecología
e Obstetricia (ACOG)
e Obstetricia (ACOG)
09:02
have the opportunity to educate
about the safety of sex during pregnancy.
about the safety of sex during pregnancy.
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teñen a oportunidade de educar sobre
a seguridade do sexo durante o embarazo.
a seguridade do sexo durante o embarazo.
09:07
So what do the experts say?
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E que din os expertos?
09:09
ACOG actually has
no public official statement
no public official statement
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O ACOG non ten
ningunha declaración oficial
ningunha declaración oficial
09:12
about the safety of sex during pregnancy.
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sobre a seguridade do sexo durante o
embarazo.
embarazo.
09:16
Guidance from the Mayo Clinic
is generally positive
is generally positive
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A guía da Clínica Mayo é,
en liñas xerais, positiva,
en liñas xerais, positiva,
09:19
but presented with a caveat:
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pero presenta unha advertencia:
09:21
"Although most women can safely
have sex throughout pregnancy,
have sex throughout pregnancy,
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"Aínda que a maioría das mulleres
pode practicar sexo sen problemas
pode practicar sexo sen problemas
no embarazo, ás veces é mellor ser cauto."
09:24
sometimes it's best to be cautious."
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09:26
Some women don't want
to have sex during pregnancy,
to have sex during pregnancy,
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Algunhas mulleres non queren
practicar sexo durante o embarazo,
practicar sexo durante o embarazo,
09:30
and that's OK.
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e iso está perfecto.
09:31
Some women do want
to have sex during pregnancy,
to have sex during pregnancy,
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Outras queren practicar sexo
durante o embarazo,
durante o embarazo,
09:33
and that's OK, too.
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e iso tamén está perfecto.
09:35
What needs to stop
is society telling women
is society telling women
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O que cómpre parar é o feito
de que a sociedade lles diga
de que a sociedade lles diga
09:38
what they can and cannot do
with their bodies.
with their bodies.
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o que poden facer e que non co seu corpo.
09:41
(Applause)
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(Aplausos)
09:48
Pregnant women are not faceless,
identity-less vessels of reproduction
identity-less vessels of reproduction
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As embarazadas non son recipientes
de reprodución sen cara nin identidade,
de reprodución sen cara nin identidade,
09:52
who can't stand on their own two feet.
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que non poden manterse en pé por si soas.
09:56
But the truth is, the real secret is,
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Mais a verdade é, o verdadeiro segredo é,
09:58
we tell all women that
their sexual pleasure doesn't matter.
their sexual pleasure doesn't matter.
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que lles dicimos a todas as mulleres
que o seu pracer sexual non importa.
que o seu pracer sexual non importa.
10:02
We refuse to even acknowledge
that women who have sex with women
that women who have sex with women
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Ata rexeitamos admitir que as mulleres
que practican sexo con outras
que practican sexo con outras
10:06
or women who don't
want children even exist.
want children even exist.
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ou as que non queren ter
fillos existen.
fillos existen.
10:08
"Oh, it's just a phase ...
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"Oh, só é unha etapa...
10:10
she just needs the right man
to come along."
to come along."
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só necesita que apareza o home adecuado."
10:14
Every time a woman has sex
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Cada vez que unha muller practica sexo
10:16
simply because it feels good,
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simplemente porque se sente ben,
10:18
it is revolutionary.
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é algo revolucionario.
10:20
She is revolutionary.
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Ela é revolucionaria.
10:22
She is pushing back
against society's insistence
against society's insistence
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Vai en contra da sociedade que insiste
10:25
that she exist simply for men's pleasure
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en que só existe para o pracer masculino
10:27
or for reproduction.
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ou para a reprodución.
10:30
A woman who prioritizes
her sexual needs is scary,
her sexual needs is scary,
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A muller que prioriza
as súas necesidades sexuais pon medo,
as súas necesidades sexuais pon medo,
10:34
because a woman who prioritizes
her sexual needs prioritizes herself.
her sexual needs prioritizes herself.
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porque a muller que prioriza as súas
necesidades sexuais priorízase a si mesma.
necesidades sexuais priorízase a si mesma.
10:39
(Applause)
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(Aplauso)
10:43
That is a woman demanding
that she be treated as an equal.
that she be treated as an equal.
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É unha muller pedindo
ser tratada coma unha igual.
ser tratada coma unha igual.
10:47
That is a woman who insists
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É unha muller que insiste
10:49
that you make room for her
at the table of power,
at the table of power,
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para que lle fagas sitio na mesa de poder,
10:52
and that is the most terrifying of all
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e iso é o máis aterrador de todo
10:54
because we can't make room for her
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porque non podemos facer un sitio para ela
10:57
without some of us giving up
the extra space we hold.
the extra space we hold.
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sen que algúns de nós teñamos que ceder
o noso espazo extra.
o noso espazo extra.
11:02
(Applause)
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(Aplausos)
11:08
I have one last secret for you.
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Teño un último segredo para vostedes.
11:10
I am the mother of two boys
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Son nai de dous mozos
11:12
and we could use your help.
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e serviríanos a súa axuda.
11:15
Even though my boys hear me say regularly
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Aínda que os meus fillos me escoitan
dicir con frecuencia
dicir con frecuencia
11:20
that it's important for men
to recognize women as equals
to recognize women as equals
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que é importante que os homes
recoñezan as mulleres como iguais
recoñezan as mulleres como iguais
11:23
and they see their father modeling this,
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e teñen en seu pai a un modelo,
11:26
we need what happens in the world
to reinforce what happens in our home.
to reinforce what happens in our home.
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precisamos que o que sucede no mundo
reforce o que pasa na nosa casa.
reforce o que pasa na nosa casa.
11:30
This is not a men's problem
or a women's problem.
or a women's problem.
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Isto non é un problema de homes
ou de mulleres.
ou de mulleres.
11:33
This is everyone's problem,
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Isto é problema de todos,
11:35
and we all play a role
in dismantling systems of inequality.
in dismantling systems of inequality.
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e todos temos un papel no desmantelamento
dos sistema de desigualdade.
dos sistema de desigualdade.
11:40
For starters, we have got
to stop telling women
to stop telling women
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Para comezar, debemos deixar
de dicirlles ás mulleres
de dicirlles ás mulleres
11:43
what they can and cannot do
with their bodies.
with their bodies.
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o que poden facer cos seus corpos
e o que non.
e o que non.
11:45
(Applause)
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(Aplausos)
11:50
This includes not treating pregnant women
like community property.
like community property.
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Isto inclúe non tratar as embarazadas
como unha propiedade comunal.
como unha propiedade comunal.
11:54
If you don't know her,
don't even ask to touch her belly.
don't even ask to touch her belly.
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Se non a coñecen, non lle pregunten
se lle poden tocar a barriga.
se lle poden tocar a barriga.
11:57
You wouldn't anybody else.
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Non o farían con ninguén máis.
11:59
Don't tell her
what she can and cannot eat.
what she can and cannot eat.
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Non lle digan o que pode comer ou non.
12:01
Don't ask her private details
about her medical decisions.
about her medical decisions.
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Non lle pregunten por detalles privados
das súas decisións médicas.
das súas decisións médicas.
12:04
This also includes understanding
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E isto inclúe entender
12:06
that even if you are
personally against abortion,
personally against abortion,
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que, incluso se vostede está
en contra do aborto,
en contra do aborto,
12:09
you can still fight
for a woman's right to choose.
for a woman's right to choose.
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pode seguir loitando
polo dereito das mulleres a decidir.
polo dereito das mulleres a decidir.
12:12
When it comes to women's equality,
the two need not oppose one another.
the two need not oppose one another.
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Cando se trata da igualdade das mulleres,
as dúas non poden entrar en conflito.
as dúas non poden entrar en conflito.
12:16
If you're somebody who has sex with women,
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Se practica sexo con mulleres,
12:19
prioritize her pleasure.
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priorice o seu pracer.
12:20
If you don't know how, ask.
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E se non sabe como, pregunte.
12:24
If you have children --
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Se ten fillos ou fillas --
12:25
(Laughter)
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(Risas)
12:27
have conversations about sex
as early as possible,
as early as possible,
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fale con eles de sexo tan
axiña como sexa posible,
axiña como sexa posible,
12:31
because kids don't look up s-e-x
in the dictionary anymore.
in the dictionary anymore.
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porque os nenos xa non buscan s-e-x-o
no dicionario.
no dicionario.
12:35
They look it up on the internet.
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Búscano en internet.
12:38
And when you're having
those conversations about sex,
those conversations about sex,
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E cando teñan esas conversas,
12:41
don't center them on reproduction only.
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non se centren só na reprodución.
12:43
People have sex for many reasons,
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As persoas practican sexo
por múltiples razóns,
por múltiples razóns,
12:45
some because they want a baby,
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algunhas porque queren un bebé,
12:47
but most of us have sex
because it feels good.
because it feels good.
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pero a maioría porque se sente ben.
12:50
Admit it.
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Admítano.
12:52
And regardless of whether
you have children or not,
you have children or not,
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E independentemente
de se teñen fillos ou non,
de se teñen fillos ou non,
12:55
support comprehensive sex education
that doesn't shame our teenagers.
that doesn't shame our teenagers.
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apoien unha educación sexual integral
que non avergoñe aos nosos adolescentes
que non avergoñe aos nosos adolescentes
12:59
(Applause)
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(Aplausos)
13:08
Nothing positive comes from shaming teens
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Nada positivo se saca
de avergoñar a un adolescente
de avergoñar a un adolescente
13:10
for their sexual desires, behaviors,
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polos seus desexos
e comportamentos sexuais,
e comportamentos sexuais,
13:14
other than positive STD
and pregnancy tests.
and pregnancy tests.
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máis que tests positivos de embarazo
e de enfermidades de transmisión sexual
e de enfermidades de transmisión sexual
13:18
Every single day,
we are all given the opportunity
we are all given the opportunity
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Cada día, dásenos a oportunidade
13:21
to disrupt patterns of inequality.
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de racharmos cos patróns de desigualdade.
13:24
I think we can all agree
that it's worth the trouble to do so.
that it's worth the trouble to do so.
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E penso que todos podemos estar de acordo
en que paga a pena facelo.
en que paga a pena facelo.
13:29
Thank you.
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Grazas.
13:30
(Applause)
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(Aplausos)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Sofia Jawed-Wessel - Sex researcherSofia Jawed-Wessel's teachings utilize a sex-positive and pleasure-inclusive approach to providing medically accurate, comprehensive sexuality education.
Why you should listen
Dr. Sofia Jawed-Wessel teaches and generates new knowledge in the area of public health through scientific studies. Her research has focused on understanding and improving the sexual health of women and couples as they transition into parenthood by documenting sexual behaviors, sexual function, relationship adjustment and overall sexual changes during pregnancy and after childbirth. Jawed-Wessel's teachings utilize a sex-positive and pleasure-inclusive approach to providing medically accurate, comprehensive sexuality education to undergraduate students as well as in the local Omaha, Nebraska community. She teaches graduate level courses such as Research Methods, Health Behavior Theory, and Leadership and Advocacy. Jawed-Wessel also fights for women's rights and reproductive justice. She has provided expert testimony for the Nebraska Unicameral, the Nebraska School Board of Education and the Omaha Public School Board of Education. She has successfully argued in favor of comprehensive sex education in Omaha Public Schools and fought against restrictive anti-choice legislation in Nebraska.
Jawed-Wessel is an Assistant Professor in the School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation at the University of Nebraska at Omaha (UNO) and the Associate Director of the Midlands Sexual Health Research Collaborative. She also holds a joint appointment with the Women and Gender Studies program at UNO and a courtesy appointment in the College of Public Health at the University of Nebraska Medical Center. Jawed-Wessel holds both a Master of Science in Public Health (MPH) degree and a Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) degree in Health Behavior from the School of Public Health at Indiana University Bloomington.
Sofia Jawed-Wessel | Speaker | TED.com