TEDxWomen 2011
Jane Fonda: Life's third act
Jane Fonda: Tretje dejanje življenja
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V tej generaciji smo dodali svoji povprečni življenjski dobi 30 let in ta leta niso le opomba ali patologija. Na TEDxWomen se Jane Fonda sprašuje, kako lahko razmišljamo o tej novi fazi naših življenj.
Jane Fonda - Actor and activist
Jane Fonda has had three extraordinary careers (so far): Oscar-winning actor, fitness guru, impassioned activist. Full bio
Jane Fonda has had three extraordinary careers (so far): Oscar-winning actor, fitness guru, impassioned activist. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
There have been many revolutions
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V zadnjem stoletju je bilo
mnogo revolucij,
mnogo revolucij,
00:17
over the last century,
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00:19
but perhaps none as significant
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a morda nobene tako pomembne,
kot je revolucija dolgega življenja.
kot je revolucija dolgega življenja.
00:21
as the longevity revolution.
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00:24
We are living on average today
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Danes živimo v povprečju 34 let dlje
00:26
34 years longer than our great-grandparents did.
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kot naši prastari starši, pomislite ..
00:29
Think about that.
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00:31
That's an entire second adult lifetime
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To je še eno celo drugo odraslo življenje,
00:34
that's been added to our lifespan.
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dodano naši življenjski dobi.
00:36
And yet, for the most part,
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Pa vendar se večinoma
00:38
our culture has not come to terms with what this means.
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naša kultura ni soočila s tem,
kaj to pomeni.
kaj to pomeni.
00:41
We're still living with the old paradigm
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Še vedno živimo s staro paradigmo
00:44
of age as an arch.
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življenja kot loka.
00:46
That's the metaphor, the old metaphor.
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To je metafora, stara metafora.
00:48
You're born, you peak at midlife
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Rodiš se, vrhunec dosežeš v srednjih letih
00:50
and decline into decrepitude.
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in ponikneš v razpadanje.
00:52
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
00:54
Age as pathology.
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Starost kot patologija.
00:56
But many people today --
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A mnogi ljudje danes, filozofi,
umetniki, zdravniki, znanstveniki,
umetniki, zdravniki, znanstveniki,
00:58
philosophers, artists, doctors, scientists --
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01:01
are taking a new look at what I call the third act,
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ponovno opazujejo to, čemur
pravim 'tretje dejanje',
pravim 'tretje dejanje',
01:04
the last three decades of life.
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zadnja tri desetletja življenja.
01:07
They realize that this is actually a developmental stage of life
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Zavedajo se, da je to v bistvu
razvojna faza življenja
razvojna faza življenja
01:12
with its own significance --
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z lastno pomembnostjo,
01:14
as different from midlife
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tako drugačna od srednjih let
kot je adolescenca od otroštva.
kot je adolescenca od otroštva.
01:17
as adolescence is from childhood.
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01:20
And they are asking -- we should all be asking --
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In sprašujejo, mi vsi
bi morali spraševati:
bi morali spraševati:
01:23
how do we use this time?
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kako porabimo ta čas?
01:26
How do we live it successfully?
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Kako ga uspešno živimo?
01:28
What is the appropriate new metaphor
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Kaj je ustrezna nova metafora za staranje?
01:30
for aging?
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01:32
I've spent the last year researching and writing about this subject.
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Minulo leto sem raziskovala
in pisala o tej temi.
in pisala o tej temi.
01:35
And I have come to find
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In prišla sem do spoznanja, da je
ustreznejša metafora za staranje
ustreznejša metafora za staranje
01:37
that a more appropriate metaphor for aging
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01:41
is a staircase --
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stopnišče,
01:43
the upward ascension of the human spirit,
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vzpon v človeški duh,
01:47
bringing us into wisdom, wholeness
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ki nam prinaša modrost,
celovitost in avtentičnost.
celovitost in avtentičnost.
01:49
and authenticity.
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01:51
Age not at all as pathology;
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Starost niti približno ne kot patologija.
01:53
age as potential.
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Starost kot potencial.
01:55
And guess what?
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In veste, kaj?
Ta potencial ni samo za nekaj srečnežev.
01:57
This potential is not for the lucky few.
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01:59
It turns out,
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Očitno se večina ljudi nad 50. letom
02:01
most people over 50
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02:03
feel better, are less stressed,
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počuti bolje, je manj pod stresom,
manj sovražna, manj anksiozna.
manj sovražna, manj anksiozna.
02:05
are less hostile, less anxious.
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02:07
We tend to see commonalities
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Skupne točke vidimo bolj kot razlike.
02:09
more than differences.
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02:11
Some of the studies even say
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Nekatere študije celo pravijo,
da smo srečnejši.
da smo srečnejši.
02:13
we're happier.
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(smeh)
02:15
This is not what I expected, trust me.
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Verjemite mi, da tega nisem pričakovala.
02:17
I come from a long line of depressives.
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Prihajam iz dolge vrste depresivnežev.
02:20
As I was approaching my late 40s,
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Ko sem se približevala
poznim štiridesetim,
poznim štiridesetim,
02:22
when I would wake up in the morning
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je bilo, ko sem se zjutraj zbudila,
02:24
my first six thoughts would all be negative.
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mojih prvih šest misli negativnih.
02:26
And I got scared.
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In prestrašila sem se.
02:28
I thought, oh my gosh.
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Pomislila sem: "Ojej, postala bom
sitna stara gospa."
sitna stara gospa."
02:30
I'm going to become a crotchety old lady.
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02:32
But now that I am actually smack-dab in the middle of my own third act,
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Zdaj, ko pa sem dejansko točno
na sredini svojega tretjega dejanja,
na sredini svojega tretjega dejanja,
02:36
I realize I've never been happier.
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ugotavljam, da nikoli
nisem bila srečnejša.
nisem bila srečnejša.
02:39
I have such a powerful feeling of well-being.
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Imam mogočen občutek blagostanja.
02:44
And I've discovered
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In odkrila sem,
02:46
that when you're inside oldness,
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da ko si znotraj starosti,
02:48
as opposed to looking at it from the outside,
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v nasprotju s tem, ko jo gledaš od zunaj,
02:50
fear subsides.
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strah pojenja.
02:52
You realize, you're still yourself --
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Zaveš se, da si še vedno ti,
02:54
maybe even more so.
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mogoče celo bolj.
02:56
Picasso once said, "It takes a long time to become young."
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Picasso je nekoč dejal: "Dolgo
traja, da postaneš mlad."
traja, da postaneš mlad."
03:00
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
03:02
I don't want to romanticize aging.
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Nočem olepševati starosti.
03:04
Obviously, there's no guarantee
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Očitno ni nobene garancije,
03:06
that it can be a time of fruition and growth.
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da je lahko čas uresničitve in rasti.
03:08
Some of it is a matter of luck.
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Nekaj je stvar sreče.
03:10
Some of it, obviously, is genetic.
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Nekaj je očitno genetsko.
03:13
One third of it, in fact, is genetic.
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Ena tretjina je pravzaprav genetika.
03:15
And there isn't much we can do about that.
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In ne moremo kaj veliko
storiti v zvezi s tem.
storiti v zvezi s tem.
03:18
But that means that two-thirds
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A to pomeni, da sta dve tretjini tega,
kako dobro nam bo šlo v tretjem dejanju,
kako dobro nam bo šlo v tretjem dejanju,
03:20
of how well we do in the third act,
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03:22
we can do something about.
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v naših rokah.
03:25
We're going to discuss what we can do
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Pogovorili se bomo o tem,
kaj lahko storimo,
kaj lahko storimo,
03:28
to make these added years really successful
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da bodo ta dodana leta res uspešna
03:31
and use them to make a difference.
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in jih bomo lahko uporabili smotrno.
03:34
Now let me say something about the staircase,
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Naj vam povem nekaj o stopnišču,
03:36
which may seem like an odd metaphor for seniors
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ki se morda zdi čudna metafora
za starejše ljudi,
za starejše ljudi,
03:40
given the fact that many seniors are challenged by stairs.
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saj mnogim stopnice povzročajo težave.
03:43
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
03:45
Myself included.
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Tudi meni.
03:48
As you may know,
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Kot morda veste, ves svet deluje
po univerzalnem zakonu:
po univerzalnem zakonu:
03:50
the entire world operates on a universal law:
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03:53
entropy, the second law of thermodynamics.
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entropiji, drugem zakonu termodinamike.
03:57
Entropy means that everything in the world, everything,
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Entropija pomeni, da je vse na svetu, vse,
04:00
is in a state of decline and decay,
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v stanju upada in propada,
04:02
the arch.
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lok.
04:04
There's only one exception to this universal law,
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Ta univerzalni zakon ima samo eno izjemo
04:07
and that is the human spirit,
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in to je človeški duh,
04:09
which can continue to evolve upwards --
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ki se lahko še naprej razvija
navzgor po stopnicah
navzgor po stopnicah
04:12
the staircase --
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04:14
bringing us into wholeness,
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in nam prinaša celovitost,
avtentičnost in modrost.
avtentičnost in modrost.
04:16
authenticity and wisdom.
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04:19
And here's an example of what I mean.
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To je primer tega, kar mislim.
04:21
This upward ascension
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Ta vzpon
04:23
can happen even in the face of extreme physical challenges.
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se lahko vzgodi tudi, ko smo soočeni
z ekstremnimi fizičnimi izzivi.
z ekstremnimi fizičnimi izzivi.
04:27
About three years ago,
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Pred približno tremi leti sem brala
članek v New York Times-u
članek v New York Times-u
04:29
I read an article in the New York Times.
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04:31
It was about a man named Neil Selinger --
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o moškemu po imenu Neil Selinger,
04:33
57 years old, a retired lawyer --
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starem 57 let, upokojenem odvetniku,
04:36
who had joined the writers group at Sarah Lawrence
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ki se je pridružil pisateljski skupini
na kolidžu Sarah Lawrence,
na kolidžu Sarah Lawrence,
04:39
where he found his writer's voice.
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kjer je našel svoj pisateljski glas.
04:42
Two years later,
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Dve leti kasneje
so mu diagnosticirali ALS, znano pod
imenom amiotrofična lateralna skleroza.
imenom amiotrofična lateralna skleroza.
04:44
he was diagnosed with ALS, commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease.
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04:47
It's a terrible disease. It's fatal.
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To je strašna bolezen. In usodna.
04:50
It wastes the body, but the mind remains intact.
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Uniči telo, um pa ostane nedotaknjen.
04:54
In this article, Mr. Selinger wrote the following
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V tem članku je g. Selinger napisal tole,
04:57
to describe what was happening to him.
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da bi opisal, kaj se mu dogaja.
05:00
And I quote,
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Citiram:
05:03
"As my muscles weakened,
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"Ko so moje mišice oslabele,
05:05
my writing became stronger.
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je moje pisanje postalo močnejše.
05:08
As I slowly lost my speech,
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Ko sem počasi izgubljal govor,
05:11
I gained my voice.
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sem pridobil svoj glas.
05:14
As I diminished, I grew.
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Ko sem slabel, sem rasel.
05:16
As I lost so much,
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Ko sem izgubil tako veliko,
05:18
I finally started to find myself."
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sem končno začenjal najti sebe."
05:22
Neil Selinger, to me,
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Neil Selinger je zame
05:24
is the embodiment of mounting the staircase
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utelešenje vzpenjanja po stopnicah
05:27
in his third act.
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v svojem tretjem dejanju.
05:30
Now we're all born with spirit, all of us,
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Vsi se rodimo z duhom, vsi,
05:32
but sometimes it gets tamped down
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a včasih ga poteptajo življenjski izzivi,
05:35
beneath the challenges of life,
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05:37
violence, abuse, neglect.
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nasilje, zloraba, zanemarjanje.
05:40
Perhaps our parents suffered from depression.
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Morda so naši starši trpeli za depresijo.
05:42
Perhaps they weren't able to love us
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Morda nas niso mogli ljubiti drugače
kot le v povezavi z našimi dosežki.
kot le v povezavi z našimi dosežki.
05:44
beyond how we performed in the world.
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05:48
Perhaps we still suffer
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Morda še vedno trpimo
psihično bolečino, rano.
psihično bolečino, rano.
05:50
from a psychic pain, a wound.
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05:52
Perhaps we feel that many of our relationships have not had closure.
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Morda čutimo, da mnogo naših odnosov
ni imelo pravega epiloga.
05:56
And so we can feel unfinished.
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In tako se lahko počutimo nedokončane.
06:00
Perhaps the task of the third act
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Morda je naloga tretjega dejanja
06:03
is to finish up the task of finishing ourselves.
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končati naloge končevanja sebe.
06:08
For me, it began as I was approaching my third act,
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Zame se je začelo, ko sem se bližala
tretjemu dejanju, 60. rojstnemu dnevu.
tretjemu dejanju, 60. rojstnemu dnevu.
06:12
my 60th birthday.
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06:14
How was I supposed to live it?
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Kako ga naj živim?
06:16
What was I supposed to accomplish in this final act?
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Kaj naj bi dosegla
v tem zaključnem dejanju?
v tem zaključnem dejanju?
06:19
And I realized that, in order to know where I was going,
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In zavedla sem se, da moram,
da bi vedela, kam grem,
da bi vedela, kam grem,
06:23
I had to know where I'd been.
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vedeti, kje sem bila.
06:25
And so I went back
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In tako sem šla nazaj in preštudirala
svoji prvi dve dejanji
svoji prvi dve dejanji
06:27
and I studied my first two acts,
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06:29
trying to see who I was then,
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in poskušala videti, kdo sem bila takrat,
06:32
who I really was --
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kdo sem v resnici, ne pa kdor so mi
starši ali prijatelji rekli, da sem
starši ali prijatelji rekli, da sem
06:34
not who my parents or other people told me I was,
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06:37
or treated me like I was.
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ali pa so tako z menoj ravnali.
06:39
But who was I? Who were my parents --
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A kdo sem bila?
Kdo so bili moji starši, ne kot starši,
ampak kot ljudje?
ampak kot ljudje?
06:41
not as parents, but as people?
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06:44
Who were my grandparents?
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Kdo so bili moji stari starši?
06:46
How did they treat my parents?
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Kako so ravnali z mojimi starši?
06:48
These kinds of things.
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Take stvari.
06:51
I discovered a couple of years later
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Nekaj let kasneje sem odkrila,
06:54
that this process that I had gone through
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da ta proces, skozi katerega sem šla,
06:57
is called by psychologists
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psihologi imenujejo
'delanje življenjskega pregleda'.
'delanje življenjskega pregleda'.
06:59
"doing a life review."
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07:01
And they say it can give new significance
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Pravijo, da lahko da novo pomembnost
in jasnost in pomen
in jasnost in pomen
07:03
and clarity and meaning
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07:05
to a person's life.
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človekovemu življenju.
07:07
You may discover, as I did,
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Lahko odkrijete, kot sem tudi jaz,
07:10
that a lot of things that you used to think were your fault,
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da veliko stvari, za katere ste mislili,
da so vaša krivda,
da so vaša krivda,
07:13
a lot of things you used to think about yourself,
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veliko stvari, ki ste jih mislili o sebi,
07:16
really had nothing to do with you.
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nima nobene zveze z vami.
07:19
It wasn't your fault; you're just fine.
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Niste bili vi krivi, vi ste v redu.
07:22
And you're able to go back
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In lahko boste šli nazaj in jim odpustili.
07:24
and forgive them
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07:26
and forgive yourself.
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In odpustili sebi.
07:28
You're able to free yourself
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Osvobodite se lahko
07:31
from your past.
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preteklosti.
07:33
You can work to change
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Potrudite se lahko spremeniti
svoje odnose v preteklost.
svoje odnose v preteklost.
07:35
your relationship to your past.
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07:37
Now while I was writing about this,
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Medtem ko sem pisala o tem,
07:39
I came upon a book called "Man's Search for Meaning"
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sem naletela na knjigo z naslovom
Biti človek pomeni najti smisel
Biti človek pomeni najti smisel
07:42
by Viktor Frankl.
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Viktorja Frankla.
07:44
Viktor Frankl was a German psychiatrist
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Viktor Frankl je bil nemški psihiater,
07:47
who'd spent five years in a Nazi concentration camp.
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ki je preživel pet let v
koncentracijskem taborišču.
koncentracijskem taborišču.
07:50
And he wrote that, while he was in the camp,
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Napisal je, da je, medtem
ko je bil v taborišču,
ko je bil v taborišču,
07:53
he could tell, should they ever be released,
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lahko napovedal, če bodo kdaj izpuščeni,
07:57
which of the people would be okay
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kateri izmed ljudi bodo v redu
in kateri ne.
in kateri ne.
07:59
and which would not.
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08:01
And he wrote this:
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In napisal je tole:
08:06
"Everything you have in life can be taken from you
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"Vse, kar imaš v življenju,
ti je lahko odvzeto
ti je lahko odvzeto
08:09
except one thing,
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razen ene stvari:
08:11
your freedom to choose
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tvoje svobode, da si izbereš,
kako se boš odzval na situacijo.
kako se boš odzval na situacijo.
08:13
how you will respond
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08:15
to the situation.
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08:17
This is what determines
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To je tisto, kar določa kvaliteto
življenja, ki smo ga živeli;
življenja, ki smo ga živeli;
08:19
the quality of the life we've lived --
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08:21
not whether we've been rich or poor,
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ne ali smo bili bogati ali revni,
08:23
famous or unknown,
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slavni ali neznani,
08:25
healthy or suffering.
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zdravi ali trpeči.
08:27
What determines our quality of life
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Kar določa našo kvaliteto življenja,
je, kakšen odnos imamo do teh realnosti,
je, kakšen odnos imamo do teh realnosti,
08:30
is how we relate to these realities,
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08:33
what kind of meaning we assign them,
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kakšen pomen jim pripišemo,
08:35
what kind of attitude we cling to about them,
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s kakim odnosom se jih oklepamo,
08:38
what state of mind we allow them to trigger."
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kakšno stanje duha jim dovolimo sprožiti."
08:42
Perhaps the central purpose of the third act
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Morda je osrednji namen tretjega dejanja,
08:45
is to go back and to try, if appropriate,
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da gremo nazaj in poskusimo,
če je primerno,
če je primerno,
08:49
to change our relationship
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spremeniti svoj odnos s preteklostjo.
08:51
to the past.
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08:53
It turns out that cognitive research shows
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Kognitivne raziskave kažejo,
08:56
when we are able to do this,
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da se, ko to zmoremo storiti,
08:58
it manifests neurologically --
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to pokaže nevrološko,
09:01
neural pathways are created in the brain.
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nevralne poti se ustvarijo v možganih.
09:04
You see, if you have, over time,
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Vidite, če ste skozi čas
09:06
reacted negatively to past events and people,
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reagirali negativno na pretekle
dogodke in ljudi,
dogodke in ljudi,
09:09
neural pathways are laid down
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so nevralne poti položene
09:12
by chemical and electrical signals that are sent through the brain.
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s kemičnimi in električnimi signali,
ki potujejo skozi možgane.
ki potujejo skozi možgane.
09:15
And over time, these neural pathways become hardwired,
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In sčasoma te nevralne poti
postanejo ožičene.
postanejo ožičene.
09:18
they become the norm --
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Postanejo norma,
tudi če je to za nas slabo,
tudi če je to za nas slabo,
09:20
even if it's bad for us
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09:22
because it causes us stress and anxiety.
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ker nam povzroča stres in anksioznost.
09:25
If however,
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Če pa
09:27
we can go back and alter our relationship,
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lahko gremo nazaj
in spremenimo svoj odnos,
in spremenimo svoj odnos,
09:31
re-vision our relationship
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revidiramo svoj odnos do
preteklih ljudi in dogodkov,
preteklih ljudi in dogodkov,
09:33
to past people and events,
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09:35
neural pathways can change.
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se nevralne poti lahko spremenijo.
09:37
And if we can maintain
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In če lahko ohranjamo
bolj pozitivna čustva
bolj pozitivna čustva
09:39
the more positive feelings about the past,
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do preteklosti,
09:42
that becomes the new norm.
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to postane nova norma.
09:44
It's like resetting a thermostat.
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To je kot resetiranje termostata.
09:47
It's not having experiences
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Ne gre za izkušnje,
09:50
that make us wise,
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ki nas naredijo modre.
09:53
it's reflecting on the experiences that we've had
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Kar nas naredi modre, je razmišljanje
o izkušnjah, ki smo jih imeli,
o izkušnjah, ki smo jih imeli,
09:57
that makes us wise --
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09:59
and that helps us become whole,
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in pomaga nam postati celoviti,
10:01
brings wisdom and authenticity.
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prinaša modrost in avtentičnost.
10:03
It helps us become what we might have been.
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Pomaga nam postati,
kar bi lahko postali.
kar bi lahko postali.
10:07
Women start off whole, don't we?
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Ženske začnemo celovite, kajne?
10:09
I mean, as girls, we start off feisty -- "Yeah, who says?"
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Mislim, kot dekleta smo bojevite:
"Ja? Kdo to pravi?"
"Ja? Kdo to pravi?"
10:12
We have agency.
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(smeh)
Imamo avtonomijo.
10:14
We are the subjects of our own lives.
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Me smo subjekti v svojih življenjih.
10:16
But very often,
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A zelo pogosto
10:18
many, if not most of us, when we hit puberty,
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mnoge, če ne večina,
ko pridemo v puberteto
ko pridemo v puberteto
10:21
we start worrying about fitting in and being popular.
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začnemo skrbeti, če smo dovolj dobre
in priljubljene.
in priljubljene.
10:24
And we become the subjects and objects of other people's lives.
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In postanemo subjekti in objekti
življenj drugih ljudi.
življenj drugih ljudi.
10:28
But now, in our third acts,
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A zdaj, v tretjem dejanju,
10:31
it may be possible
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je morda za nas možno zaokrožiti
nazaj do tja, kjer smo začele,
nazaj do tja, kjer smo začele,
10:33
for us to circle back to where we started
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10:36
and know it for the first time.
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in se tega prvič zavedati.
10:38
And if we can do that,
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In če lahko storimo to,
10:41
it will not just be for ourselves.
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to ne bo le za nas same.
10:44
Older women
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Starejše ženske so največja
demografska skupina na svetu.
demografska skupina na svetu.
10:46
are the largest demographic in the world.
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10:48
If we can go back and redefine ourselves
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Če lahko gremo nazaj
in se ponovno definiramo
in se ponovno definiramo
10:51
and become whole,
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in postanemo celovite,
10:53
this will create a cultural shift in the world,
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bo to ustvarilo kulturni premik v svetu,
10:58
and it will give an example to younger generations
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s katerim bomo zgled mlajšim generacijam,
11:01
so that they can reconceive their own lifespan.
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da bodo lahko ponovno
začrtale svojo lastno življenjsko dobo.
začrtale svojo lastno življenjsko dobo.
11:04
Thank you very much.
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Hvala lepa.
(aplavz)
11:06
(Applause)
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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Jane Fonda - Actor and activistJane Fonda has had three extraordinary careers (so far): Oscar-winning actor, fitness guru, impassioned activist.
Why you should listen
Jane Fonda is an actor, author, producer and activist supporting environmental issues, peace and female empowerment. She founded the Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention, and established the Jane Fonda Center for Adolescent Reproductive Health at Emory. She cofounded the Women’s Media Center, and sits on the board of V-Day, a global effort to stop violence against women and girls.
Fonda's remarkable screen and stage career includes two Best Actress Oscars, an Emmy, a Tony Award nomination and an Honorary Palme d’Or from the Cannes Film Festival. Offstage, she revolutionized the fitness industry in the 1980s with Jane Fonda’s Workout — the all-time top-grossing home video. She has written a best-selling memoir, My Life So Far, and Prime Time, a comprehensive guide to living life to the fullest.
Jane Fonda | Speaker | TED.com