TEDxSummit
Maz Jobrani: A Saudi, an Indian and an Iranian walk into a Qatari bar ...
Maz Džobrani (Maz Jobrani): Saudijac, Indijac i Iranac ulaze u katarski bar...
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Readability: 3.1
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Iransko-američki komičar Maz Džobrani dolazi na pozornicu na TEDxSummit u Dohi, Katar, suočavajući se sa ozbiljnim pitanjima na Bliskom istoku - kao što je na primer koliko poljubaca razmeniti pri pozdravljanju i šta nikako ne treba govoriti u američkom avionu.
Maz Jobrani - Comedian
A founding member of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, Iranian-American comedian Maz Jobrani is now touring with his second solo comedy show, Browner and Friendlier. Full bio
A founding member of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, Iranian-American comedian Maz Jobrani is now touring with his second solo comedy show, Browner and Friendlier. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:16
Hello, Doha. Hello. Salaam alaikum.
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Pozdrav, Doha.
Selam alejkum.
Selam alejkum.
00:22
I love coming to Doha. It's such an international place.
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Volim da dolazim u Dohu.
Tako je internacionalna.
Tako je internacionalna.
00:26
This is like -- it feels like the United Nations just here.
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Kao da je - deluje kao
Ujedinjene nacije upravo ovde.
Ujedinjene nacije upravo ovde.
00:30
You land at the airport, and you're welcomed by an Indian lady
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Sletiš na aerodrom
i dobrodošlicu ti poželi Indijka
i dobrodošlicu ti poželi Indijka
00:32
who takes you to Al Maha Services, where you meet a Filipino lady
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koja te odvede do Al Maha usluga,
gde upoznaješ damu sa Filipina
gde upoznaješ damu sa Filipina
00:37
who hands you off to a South African lady
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koja te predaje dami iz Južne Afrike
00:39
who then takes you to a Korean who takes you to
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koja te odvodi do Koreanke,
koja te odvodi do
koja te odvodi do
00:41
a Pakistani guy with the luggage
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Pakistanca koji je zadužen za prtljag,
00:44
who takes you to the car with a Sri Lankan.
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koji te odvodi do kola čiji je vozač sa Šri Lanke.
00:45
You go to the hotel and you check in. There's a Lebanese.
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Stigneš do hotela i prijaviš se.
Tamo se nalazi Libanac.
Tamo se nalazi Libanac.
00:48
Yeah? And then a Swedish guy showed me my room.
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Da? I zatim mi je Šveđanin pokazao sobu.
00:52
I said, "Where are the Qataris?" (Laughter)
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Pitao sam: "Gde su Katarani?"
(Smeh)
(Smeh)
00:55
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
00:58
They said, "No, no, it's too hot. They come out later. They're smart."
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Rekli su: "Ne, ne, previše je toplo.
Oni izlaze kasnije. Pametni su. "
Oni izlaze kasnije. Pametni su. "
01:01
(Laughter) "They know."
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(Smeh)
"Oni znaju."
"Oni znaju."
01:05
And of course it's growing so fast, sometimes there's growing pains.
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I naravno razvija se tako brzo,
ponekad to prouzrokuje probleme.
ponekad to prouzrokuje probleme.
01:08
You know, like sometimes you run into people that you think
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Znate, kao kad ponekad naletite
na ljude za koje mislite
na ljude za koje mislite
01:11
know the city well, but they don't know it that well.
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da poznaju grad dobro,
ali ustvari ga ne poznaju baš najbolje.
ali ustvari ga ne poznaju baš najbolje.
01:14
My Indian cab driver showed up at the W,
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Moj taksista Indijac
pojavio se kod hotela "W",
pojavio se kod hotela "W",
01:16
and I asked him to take me to the Sheraton,
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i ja sam ga pitao da me odveze do Šeratona,
01:19
and he said, "No problem, sir."
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i on je rekao:
"Nema problema, gospodine."
"Nema problema, gospodine."
01:21
And then we sat there for two minutes.
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I zatim smo tako dva minuta sedeli.
01:24
I said, "What's wrong?"He said, "One problem, sir."
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Pitao sam: "Šta nije u redu?"
On je odgovorio: "Jedan problem, gospodine."
On je odgovorio: "Jedan problem, gospodine."
01:27
I said, "What?" He goes, "Where is it?"
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Pitao sam: "Šta?"
Na šta će on: "Gde se to nalazi?"
Na šta će on: "Gde se to nalazi?"
01:28
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:31
I go, "You're the driver, you should know."He goes, "No, I just arrived, sir."
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Kažem ja: "Vi ste vozač, vi bi to trebalo da znate."
Na to će on: "Ne, upravo sam stigao, gospodine."
Na to će on: "Ne, upravo sam stigao, gospodine."
01:36
I go, "You just arrived at the W?""No, I just arrived in Doha, sir.
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Pitao sam: "Upravo ste stigli u W?"
"Ne, upravo sam stigao u Dohu, gospodine.
"Ne, upravo sam stigao u Dohu, gospodine.
01:40
I was on my way home from the airport. I got a job.
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Bio sam na putu od aerodroma ka kući.
Dobio sam posao.
Dobio sam posao.
01:42
I'm working already."
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Već radim."
01:45
He goes, "Sir, why don't you drive?"
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Pita me: "Gospodine, zašto Vi ne vozite?"
01:48
I go, "I don't know where we're going."
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"Ne znam kuda idemo."
01:50
"Neither do I. It will be an adventure, sir."
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"Ni ja. Ovo će biti avantura, gospodine."
01:55
It is an adventure. The Middle East has been an adventure the past couple years.
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Ovo jeste jedna avantura. Srednji istok
zadnjih nekoliko godina je bio prava avantura.
zadnjih nekoliko godina je bio prava avantura.
01:58
The Middle East is going crazy with the Arab Spring
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Srednji istok postaje sve luđi
sa Arapskim prolećem
sa Arapskim prolećem
02:01
and revolution and all this. Are there any Lebanese here tonight?
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i revolucijom i sa svim ostalim.
Da li ima Libanaca ovde večeras?
Da li ima Libanaca ovde večeras?
02:03
Any Lebanese by applause? (Applause) Lebanese.
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Neki Libanci po aplauzu?
(Aplauz) Libanci.
(Aplauz) Libanci.
02:05
Yeah. The Middle East is going crazy.
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Da. Srednji istok postaje sve luđi.
02:08
You know the Middle East is going crazy
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Znate Srednji istok postaje sve luđi
02:10
when Lebanon is the most peaceful place in the region.
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kad je Liban najmirnije mesto u regionu.
02:12
(Laughter) (Applause)
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(Smeh) (Aplauz)
02:15
Who would have thought? Oh my gosh.
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Ko bi to pomislio?
O, moj Bože.
O, moj Bože.
02:20
No. There's serious issues in the region.
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Ne. Postoje ozbiljni problemi u regiji.
02:22
Some people don't want to talk about them. I'm here to talk about them tonight.
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Neki ne žele da pričaju o tim problemima.
Ja sam ovde večeras da pričam o njima.
Ja sam ovde večeras da pričam o njima.
02:26
Ladies and gentlemen of the Middle East,
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Dame i gospodo Srednjeg istoka,
02:28
here's a serious issue. When we see each other,
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evo ga jedan ozbiljan problem.
Kad se sretnemo,
Kad se sretnemo,
02:29
when we say hello, how many kisses are we going to do?
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kad se pozdravljamo,
koliko poljubaca razmenjujemo?
koliko poljubaca razmenjujemo?
02:35
Every country is different and it's confusing, okay?
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Svaka država je drugačija
i ovo je prilično zbunjujuće, u redu?
i ovo je prilično zbunjujuće, u redu?
02:37
In Lebanon, they do three. In Egypt, they do two.
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U Libanu razmenjuju tri.
U Egiptu, dva.
U Egiptu, dva.
02:41
I was in Lebanon, I got used to three.
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Bio sam u Libanu i navikao se na tri.
02:43
I went to Egypt. I went to say hello to this one Egyptian guy,
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Otišao sam u Egipat.
Otišao sam da pozdravim jednog Egipćanina,
Otišao sam da pozdravim jednog Egipćanina,
02:46
I went, one, two. I went for three. He wasn't into it.
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krenuo sam, jedan, dva.
Hteo sam i treći. Nije baš bio za to.
Hteo sam i treći. Nije baš bio za to.
02:50
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
02:54
I told him, I said, "No, no, no, I was just in Lebanon."
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Rekao sam mu:
"Ne, ne, ne, upravo sam bio u Libanu."
"Ne, ne, ne, upravo sam bio u Libanu."
02:57
He goes, "I don't care where you were. You just stay where you are, please. Just stay where you are."
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On reče: "Ne zanima me gde si bio.
Samo ostani tu gde jesi, molim te. Samo ostani tu."
Samo ostani tu gde jesi, molim te. Samo ostani tu."
03:04
I went to Saudi Arabia. In Saudi Arabia, they go one, two,
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Otišao sam u Saudijsku Arabiju.
U Saudijskoj Arabiji, oni krenu, jedan, dva,
U Saudijskoj Arabiji, oni krenu, jedan, dva,
03:07
and then they stay on the same side -- three, four, five, six,
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i zatim ostanu na istoj strani - tri, četri, pet, šest,
03:10
seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.
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sedam, osam, devet, 10,11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.
03:14
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:18
Next time you see a Saudi, look closely. They're just a little bit tilted.
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Sledeći put kad sretnete Saudijca, pogledajte ga pažljivo.
Oni su malčice nakrivljeni.
Oni su malčice nakrivljeni.
03:23
"Abdul, are you okay?""Yeah, I was saying hello for half an hour.
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"Abdul, jesi li dobro?"
"Jesam, pozdravljao sam se pola sata.
"Jesam, pozdravljao sam se pola sata.
03:24
I'm going to be all right."
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Biću u redu."
03:28
Qataris, you guys do the nose to nose.
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Katarani, vi se pozdravljate nosom o nos.
03:32
Why is that? Are you too tired to go all the way around?
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Zašto to? Previše vam je mrsko
da pravite čitav "obilazak"?
da pravite čitav "obilazak"?
03:36
"Habibi, it's so hot. Just come here for a second. Say hello.
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"Habibi, mnogo je toplo. Dođi ovamo samo na sekund.
Reci zdravo.
Reci zdravo.
03:39
Hello, Habibi. Just don't move. Just stay there please.
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Zdravo, Habibi. Ne pomeraj se.
Samo ostani tamo molim te.
Samo ostani tamo molim te.
03:41
I need to rest."
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Moram da se odmorim."
03:45
Every country — Iranians, sometimes we do two, sometimes we do three.
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Svaka država - Iranci, ponekad razmenjujemo dva,
a ponekad tri.
a ponekad tri.
03:48
A friend of mine explained to me, before the '79 revolution,
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Jedan moj prijatelj mi je objasnio,
pre revolucije 1979.,
pre revolucije 1979.,
03:51
it was two. After the revolution, three.
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razmenjivali su dva.
Posle revolucije, tri.
Posle revolucije, tri.
03:55
So with Iranians, you can tell whose side the person is on
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Kod Iranaca, možeš zaključiti
na čijoj je strani ta osoba
na čijoj je strani ta osoba
03:58
based on the number of kisses they give you.
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na osnovu broja poljubaca koje ti daje.
04:00
Yeah, if you go one, two, three -- "I can't believe you support this regime
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Da, kad razmenjuješ jedan, dva, tri -
"Ne mogu da verujem da podržavaš ovaj režim
"Ne mogu da verujem da podržavaš ovaj režim
04:04
with your three kisses."
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sa tvoja tri poljupca."
04:09
But no, guys, really, it is exciting to be here,
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Ali ne, ljudi, stvarno,
uzbudljivo je biti ovde
uzbudljivo je biti ovde
04:12
and like I said, you guys are doing a lot culturally,
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i kako sam već rekao,
mnogo činite za kulturu,
mnogo činite za kulturu,
04:15
you know, and it's amazing, and it helps change the image
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i to je zapanjujuće
i pomaže u menjanju slike
i pomaže u menjanju slike
04:17
of the Middle East in the West. Like a lot of Americans
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o Srednjem istoku na zapadu.
Mnogi Amerikanci
Mnogi Amerikanci
04:20
don't know a lot about us, about the Middle East.
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ne znaju mnogo o nama,
o Srednjem istoku.
o Srednjem istoku.
04:23
I'm Iranian and American. I'm there. I know, I've traveled here.
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Ja sam Iranac i Amerikanac.
Tamo sam. Znam, doputovao sam ovde.
Tamo sam. Znam, doputovao sam ovde.
04:26
There's so much, we laugh, right?
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Postoji toliko stvari, mi se smejemo, je l' tako?
04:28
People don't know we laugh. When I did the Axis of Evil comedy tour,
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Ljudi ne znaju da se i mi smejemo.
Kad sam bio na komičarskoj turneji "Osa zla "
Kad sam bio na komičarskoj turneji "Osa zla "
04:31
it came out on Comedy Central, I went online
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emitovali su na tv kanalu Comedy Central,
otišao sam na internet
otišao sam na internet
04:33
to see what people were saying about it. I ended up on a conservative website.
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da vidim šta su ljudi govorili o tome.
Na kraju sam se našao na jednom konzervativnom sajtu.
Na kraju sam se našao na jednom konzervativnom sajtu.
04:36
One guy wrote another guy. He said, "I never knew these people laughed."
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Jedan čovek je napisao drugom. Rekao je:
"Nisam znao da se ovi ljudi smeju."
"Nisam znao da se ovi ljudi smeju."
04:40
Think about it. You never see us laughing in American film or television, right?
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Razmislite o tome. Nikad nas niste videli da se smejemo
u američkom filmu ili na televiziji, zar ne?
u američkom filmu ili na televiziji, zar ne?
04:44
Maybe like an evil -- like, "Wuhahaha, wuhahaha. (Laughter)
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Možda kao đavo - kao - "Buahahaha, buahahaha.
(Smeh)
(Smeh)
04:48
I will kill you in the name of Allah, wuhahahahaha."
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Ubiću te u ime Alaha, buahahaha."
04:52
But never like, "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."
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Ali nikad:
"ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."
"ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."
04:56
We like to laugh. We like to celebrate life.
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Mi volimo da se smejemo.
Mi volimo da slavimo život.
Mi volimo da slavimo život.
04:59
And I wish more Americans would travel here. I always encourage my friends:
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I želim da više Amerikanaca doputuje ovde.
Uvek ohrabrujem svoje prijatelje:
Uvek ohrabrujem svoje prijatelje:
05:02
Travel, see the Middle East, there's so much to see, so many good people.
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putujte, posetite Srednji istok,
ima toliko toga da se vidi, mnogo dobrih ljudi.
ima toliko toga da se vidi, mnogo dobrih ljudi.
05:04
And it's vice versa, and it helps stop problems
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I deluje u oba pravca
i doprinosi zaustavljanju problema
i doprinosi zaustavljanju problema
05:08
of misunderstanding and stereotypes from happening.
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kao što su nesporazumi i stereotipi.
05:11
For example, I don't know if you heard about this,
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Na primer, ne znam da li ste čuli nešto o ovome,
05:13
a little while ago in the U.S. there was a Muslim family
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nedavno je u Americi jedna muslimanska porodica
05:16
walking down the aisle of an airplane
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prolazila između sedišta u avionu
05:18
talking about the safest place to sit on the plane.
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pričajući o najsigurnijem mestu
za sedenje u avionu.
za sedenje u avionu.
05:21
Some passengers overheard them, somehow misconstrued
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Neki putnici su ih čuli,
pogrešno su protumačili
pogrešno su protumačili
05:23
that as terrorist talk, got them kicked off the plane.
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to kao razgovor terorista
i izbacili su ih iz aviona.
i izbacili su ih iz aviona.
05:27
It was a family, a mother, father, child, walking down the aisle,
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To je bila porodica, majka, otac,
dete, šetajući prolazom
dete, šetajući prolazom
05:30
talking about the seating. Now as a Middle Eastern male,
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pričali su o tome gde da sednu.
Sad, kao muškarac sa Srednjeg istoka,
Sad, kao muškarac sa Srednjeg istoka,
05:32
I know there's certain things I'm not supposed to say
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znam da određene stvari ne smem govoriti
05:34
on an airplane in the U.S., right?
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u avionu u Sjedinjenim Državama, zar ne?
05:37
I'm not supposed to be, like, walking down the aisle,
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Ne smem se ponašati,
kao, šetam niz prolaz,
kao, šetam niz prolaz,
05:38
and be like, "Hi, Jack." You know, that's not cool.
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i kažem: "Ćao, Džek." (hijack - otmica)
Znate, to nije kul.
Znate, to nije kul.
05:42
Even if I'm there with my friend named Jack, I say,
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Čak ni onda kad sam sa svojim prijateljem
koji se zove Džek, moram reći,
koji se zove Džek, moram reći,
05:44
"Greetings, Jack. Salutations, Jack."
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"Pozdrav, Džek. Pozdravljam te Džek."
05:47
Never "Hi, Jack."
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Nikad: "Ćao, Džek."
05:49
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:52
But now apparently we can't even talk about
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Ali sad izgleda da čak ne možemo ni da pričamo
05:53
the safest place to sit on an airplane.
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o najsigurnijem mestu u avionu.
05:56
So my advice to all my Middle Eastern friends and Muslim friends
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Moj savet svim prijateljima
sa Srednjeg istoka i Muslimanima
sa Srednjeg istoka i Muslimanima
05:59
and anyone who looks Middle Eastern or Muslim,
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i svakome ko samo izgleda kao neko
sa Srednjek istoka ili kao Muliman,
sa Srednjek istoka ili kao Muliman,
06:00
so to, you know, Indians, and Latinos, everyone,
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znate, Indijci i južnoamerikanci, svi,
06:04
if you're brown --
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ako su tamne puti,
06:07
here's my advice to my brown friends.
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evo ga savet mojim prijateljima tamne puti.
06:10
The next time you're on an airplane in the U.S.,
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Sledeći put, kad ste u avionu
u Sjedinjenim Državama,
u Sjedinjenim Državama,
06:13
just speak your mother tongue.
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govorite samo maternjim jezikom.
06:14
That way no one knows what you're saying. Life goes on.
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Na taj način niko neće znati o čemu pričate.
Život ide dalje.
Život ide dalje.
06:18
Granted, some mother tongues might sound
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Priznajem, neki maternji jezici mogu zvučati
06:20
a little threatening to the average American, right?
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pomalo zastrašujuće prosečnom Amerikancu, zar ne?
06:22
If you're walking down the aisle speaking Arabic,
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Ako šetate prolazom pričajući na arapskom,
06:24
you might freak them out, if you're walking, "[Arabic],"
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možda ćete ih prestrašiti, ako šetate:
(Arapski)
(Arapski)
06:28
they might say, "What's he talking about?"
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oni se mogu pitati:
"O čemu on priča?"
"O čemu on priča?"
06:30
So the key, to my Arab brothers and sisters,
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Dakle ključno je, za moju Arapsku braću i sestre,
06:32
you gotta throw in random good words to put people at ease
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morate ubaciti i pokoju
nasumično dobru reč da ih opustite
nasumično dobru reč da ih opustite
06:35
as you're walking down the aisle.
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dok šetate prolazom.
06:36
Just as you're walking down: "[Imitating Arabic] --
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Kako se šetate prolazom: "(Oponaša arapski) -
06:39
strawberry!"
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jagoda!"
06:40
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:47
"[Imitating Arabic] -- rainbow!"
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"(Oponaša Arapski) - duga!"
06:52
"[Imitating Arabic] -- Tutti Frutti!"
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"(Oponaša Arapski) - Tutti Frutti!"
06:55
"I think he's going to hijack the plane with some ice cream."
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"Mislim da će oteti avion sa nekim sladoledom."
06:59
Thank you very much. Have a good night.
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Hvala vam mnogo.
Želim vam prijatno veče.
Želim vam prijatno veče.
07:00
Thank you, TED. (Cheers) (Applause)
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Hvala, TED.
(Pozdravi) (Aplauz)
(Pozdravi) (Aplauz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Maz Jobrani - ComedianA founding member of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, Iranian-American comedian Maz Jobrani is now touring with his second solo comedy show, Browner and Friendlier.
Why you should listen
Maz Jobrani is an actor and comedian who starred on the Axis of Evil Middle East Comedy Tour, a groundbreaking tour of the US and Middle Eastern countries, where it sold out 27 shows in Dubai, Beirut, Cairo, Kuwait and Amman. The Axis of Evil Comedy Central Special premiered in 2007 as, arguably, the first show on American TV with an all-Middle Eastern/American cast. In 2009 Jobrani performed in his first solo world tour, called Maz Jobrani: Brown and Friendly, and is currently following up this tour with a second, titled Browner and Friendlier.
Jobrani's comedy pulls from his background as an Iran-born kid raised in Northern California. He pokes fun at cultural stereotypes of all kinds -- starting with the stereotype that Middle Eastern actors can only play a few kinds of roles in Hollywood. He's been working to develop rich characters in a variety of TV shows and films. His next project: Jimmy Vestvood: Amerikan Hero, described as a cross between a Middle Eastern Pink Panther and Bend It Like Beckham.
Maz Jobrani | Speaker | TED.com