TEDWomen 2013
Maysoon Zayid: I got 99 problems ... palsy is just one
99 dhib ayaan qabaa...laleemana waa mid kaliya
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"Waxaan qabaa cudurka laleemada. mar walbo waan gargariira," Maysoon Zayid ayaa ugu horeentii shaaca ka qaadeso hadalkaan qosolka badan ee loo riyaaqay.
(Xaqiiqdii, Waa mid lagu qoslo.) " waxaan ahay sidii Shakira oo la kulantay Muhammad Ali." Si wanaag iyo caqli ku dheehan tahay, majaajiliistada kasoo jeeda Arab-Amerikanka ayaa nooga sheekeeneyso safarkeedii layaabka lahaa ay la kulantay intii aay aheed Aktarad, Majaajiliiste qosol, deeq-bixiye iyo udoode dadka cuuryaanta ah.
Maysoon Zayid - Comedian and writer
Writer, actor, comedian, Maysoon Zayid is the co-founder of the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival. Full bio
Writer, actor, comedian, Maysoon Zayid is the co-founder of the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
Hello, TEDWomen, what's up.
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Hallow, HablahaTED, maxaa cusub.
00:14
(Cheers)
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(Shifo)
00:16
Not good enough.
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Maigu filno halahaas.
00:17
Hello, TEDWomen, what is up?
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Hallow, HablahaTED, maxaa cusub?
00:19
(Cheers)
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(Shifo)
00:21
My name is Maysoon Zayid,
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Magacayga waa Maysoon Zayid,
00:23
and I am not drunk,
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mana cabsani,
00:26
but the doctor who delivered me was.
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laakin dhaqtarkii i dhaliyay ayaa cabsanaay.
00:28
He cut my mom six different times
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Lix mar oo kala duwan ayuu hooyadeey qalay
00:32
in six different directions,
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lix jiho oo kala duwan ayuuna u qalay,
00:35
suffocating poor little me in the process.
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wuxana qaliinkaas ku caburiyay inantaan yari aniga ah.
00:37
As a result, I have cerebral palsy,
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natiijadasna, waxana qabaa gargariir ,
00:40
which means I shake all the time.
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macanaha marwalbo waan gargariiraa.
00:43
Look.
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Fiiri.
00:46
It's exhausting. I'm like Shakira, Shakira
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waa mid lagudaalo. Shakiira oo kale ayaan ahay, Shakira
00:49
meets Muhammad Ali.
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oo lakulmeysa Muhammad Ali.
00:51
(Laughter)
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(Qosol)
00:54
C.P. is not genetic.
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gargariirku ma ahan fir.
00:56
It's not a birth defect. You can't catch it.
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ma ahan cilad dhalasho. Ma qaban kartid.
00:59
No one put a curse on my mother's uterus,
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qofna inkaar ma dhigin ilma-galeenka hooyadey,
01:02
and I didn't get it because
my parents are first cousins,
my parents are first cousins,
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maha helin maxa yelay waalidkeeyga waa llma-adeeradii ugu horeeyay
01:05
which they are.
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taas oo ayba yihiin.
01:07
(Laughter)
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(Qosol)
01:11
It only happens from accidents,
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Shilal ayee uun ka imaadaan,
01:13
like what happened to me on my birth day.
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sida aniga igu dhacday maalintii dhalashadeyda.
01:16
Now, I must warn you, I'm not inspirational,
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Hada, waan idiin digayaa, dhiira-geliye ma ihi,
01:21
and I don't want anyone in this room
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mana rabo qof kujiro qolkaan
01:23
to feel bad for me,
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inuu xumaan ii dareemo,
01:25
because at some point in your life,
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maxaa yelay waqti kamid ah noloshada,
01:27
you have dreamt of being disabled.
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inaad ku riyootay cuuryaan-nimo.
01:30
Come on a journey with me.
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Kaalay safar aan isku raacnee.
01:32
It's Christmas Eve, you're at the mall,
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waa ciida masiixiga, waxad joogta suuqa,
01:35
you're driving around in circles looking for parking,
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geesba gees ayaa garigaga u wareejinesa adoo raadianayo paakin.
01:39
and what do you see?
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maxaadna aragtaa?
01:41
Sixteen empty handicapped spaces.
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16 meelood oo faaruq ah misna loogu talagaly cuuryaaniinta
01:45
And you're like, "God, can't I just be
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waxaadna is dhahaysaa,'' Allah, miyaan kaliya noqon karaa
01:48
a little disabled?"
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waxyar oo cuuryaan ah? ''
01:50
(Laughter)
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(Qosol)
01:55
Also, I gotta tell you,
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Sidoo kale, waxaan idiin shegaya,
01:56
I got 99 problems, and palsy is just one.
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99 dhib ayaa iheesta, gar-gariirna waa mid kaliya.
02:01
If there was an Oppression Olympics,
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haday jiri laheed tartan dulmiyeed ama cadaadis leh,
02:04
I would win the gold medal.
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waxaan ku guuleesan lahay abaalmarinta dahabka.
02:06
I'm Palestinian, Muslim, I'm female, I'm disabled,
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waxan ahay dumar, falastiiniyad, muslimad ah misna jiis ah,
02:11
and I live in New Jersey.
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New Jersey ayaana ku noolahay.
02:13
(Laughter) (Applause)
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(Qosol)(Sacbis)
02:19
If you don't feel better about
yourself, maybe you should.
yourself, maybe you should.
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hadaadan samaan ka dareemeenin noloshaada, hadaba hada ka dareem,
02:23
Cliffside Park, New Jersey is my hometown.
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Cliffside Park, New Jersey weeye xaafadayda.
02:25
I have always loved the fact
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waligayba waan jeclaay xaqiiqdii
02:28
that my hood and my affliction
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inay xaafadayda iyo dhibaatada jiradayda
02:30
share the same initials.
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ay wadaagaan isku xarfo.
02:32
I also love the fact that if I wanted to walk
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waxan kaloo jeclahay xaqiiqdii inaan rabay inaan socdo
02:34
from my house to New York City, I could.
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inata u dhaxeeso gurigayga ilaa casimamada New York, waan awooday.
02:37
A lot of people with C.P. don't walk,
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dad badan oo qabaan gargariirku masocodaan,
02:40
but my parents didn't believe in "can't."
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waalidkayga meeysan aaminin inaan ''Awoodin''
02:43
My father's mantra was,
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Ducada aabahey ayaa aheyd,
02:45
"You can do it, yes you can can."
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''Waad awooda, haa waad awooda.''
02:48
(Laughter)
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(Qosol)
02:51
So, if my three older sisters were mopping,
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Marka, seddax abaayo igaga waaweyn aay guurguuranayeen,w
02:55
I was mopping.
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aan guurguuranayay anina.
02:56
If my three older sisters went to public school,
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hadey aadeen xitaa iskuulaadka shacabka,
02:58
my parents would sue the school system
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waalidiinteyda waxay dacweyn jireen qaabka iskuulka
03:01
and guarantee that I went too,
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misna waxay hubaal ka dhigeen inaan aado iskulka ,
03:03
and if we didn't all get A's,
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misna hadaan anagoo dhan 'A' yaal aanan helin,
03:05
we all got my mother's slipper.
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mamada dacaskeeda eenagu tumi jirtay.
03:07
(Laughter)
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(Qosol)
03:09
My father taught me how to walk
when I was five years old
when I was five years old
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Aabahey ayaa i baray sida loo socdo markaan 5-jir ahay
03:12
by placing my heels on his feet
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asigoo cirbahayga dul saarayo lugahiisa
03:15
and just walking.
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misna soconayo.
03:17
Another tactic that he used is he would dangle
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Qorsho kale uu isticmaali jiray aya ahay, wuxuu soo raaricin jiray
03:19
a dollar bill in front of me and have me chase it.
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horteytda 1 dollar misna waan bursan jiray.
03:24
(Laughter)
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(Qosol)
03:25
My inner stripper was very strong, and by --
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Qaawnaanteyda waxay ahay mid xoog badan, iyo----
03:28
(Laughter)
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(Qosol)
03:30
Yeah. No, by the first day of kindergarten,
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Haa. Maya, maalintii ugu horeysay ee iskuulka,
03:33
I was walking like a champ
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waxaan usocday sidii horyaal
03:34
who had been punched one too many times.
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kaaso dhoor mar lasoo feeray.
03:38
Growing up, there were only six Arabs in my town,
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Soo koritaankayga, 6 carab ah ayaa magaaladeena joogtay,
03:42
and they were all my family.
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kuligoodna qoyskeeyga ayee ahaayeen.
03:44
Now there are 20 Arabs in town,
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hada 20 carab ah ayaa magaalada joogaan,
03:46
and they are still all my family. (Laughter)
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welina kuli waa qoyskeeyga. (Qosol)
03:49
I don't think anyone even noticed we weren't Italian.
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ma umaleeyo qof inuu ogaaday xitaa inaanan aheyn Talyaani.
03:52
(Laughter) (Applause)
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(Qosol)(Sacbis)
04:00
This was before 9/11 and before politicians
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Tani waxay aheey horaantii 9/11 hadana siyaasiyiinta
04:03
thought it was appropriate to use "I hate Moslems"
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waxay ku fekereen inay banaan tahay in la isticmaalo '' Waan necbahay Muslimiinta''
04:06
as a campaign slogan.
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Oraah doorasho ahaaneed.
04:08
The people that I grew up with
had no problem with my faith.
had no problem with my faith.
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Dadkii aan lasoo koray wax dhibaato ah kuma aysan qabi caqiidadayda.
04:12
They did, however, seem very concerned
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Waxay umuuqdeen kuwa ay aad u quseeyso , si ahaan
04:14
that I would starve to death during Ramadan.
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inaan baahi u dhimanayo waqtiga Ramadaanka.
04:17
I would explain to them that I have enough fat
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waxaan u sharixi jiray inaan heesto jir igu filan
04:19
to live off of for three whole months,
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si aan ugu noolaado seddax bilood,
04:21
so fasting from sunrise to sunset is a piece of cake.
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marka soon inta u dhaxeyso qorax soobax iyo qorax dhac waxay ila ahay sida jab doolsho ah.
04:26
I have tap-danced on Broadway.
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Wadada cad ayan jees ku dheeli jiray.
04:29
Yeah, on Broadway. It's crazy. (Applause)
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Haa, wadada cad . Waa jinoolinimo. (Sacbis)
04:32
My parents couldn't afford physical therapy,
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Waalidiinteeyda meeysan awoodin inay jjirkeyda daaweeyan,
04:34
so they sent me to dancing school.
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marka waxay ii direen iskuul dheel (jees)
04:37
I learned how to dance in heels,
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waxan bartay sida kabaha cirbaha loogu dheelo
04:39
which means I can walk in heels.
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taaso la macno ah inaan kusocon karo kabahas.
04:40
And I'm from Jersey,
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Waxaana ka imaada New Jersey,
04:42
and we are really concerned with being chic,
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waxaan aad ula soconaa moodalada sare,
04:44
so if my friends wore heels, so did I.
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marka hadeey saaxiibadeyxa xirtaan kabahaas dhaadheer, anigana waan xiranayay.
04:48
And when my friends went and
spent their summer vacations
spent their summer vacations
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markay saaxiibadayda u baxaan fasax
04:51
on the Jersey Shore, I did not.
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xeebta Jersey, anigana maanan raaci jirin.
04:54
I spent my summers in a war zone,
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waxaan kuqaatay waqtigayga fasaxa goob dagaal
04:56
because my parents were afraid
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maxaa yeelay waalidintayda waxay ka cabsanayeen
04:58
that if we didn't go back to Palestine
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hadii aanan kunoqon falastin
05:00
every single summer,
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Xagay walabo,
05:02
we'd grow up to be Madonna.
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waxaan uweynaaneenay inan Madonna( Heesay magaceed) noqono
05:04
(Laughter)
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(Qosol)
05:09
Summer vacations often consisted of
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Fasaxyada xagaaga intiisa badan way iskuxirnayeen
05:13
my father trying to heal me,
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Aabahayga waxoo isku dayay inuu i bogsiiyo
05:14
so I drank deer's milk,
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sida darteet waxaan cabay caano deer
05:16
I had hot cups on my back,
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dhoor galaas oo caano kulul ah ayaa heestay,
05:18
I was dunked in the Dead Sea,
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waxaan madaxa lii galshay bada halista ah,
05:20
and I remember the water burning my eyes
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waxaan xasuusta inay biyaha indhaha iga gubayeen
05:23
and thinking, "It's working! It's working!"
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waxaane is dhahay, "weey shaqayneysaa! weey shaqayneysaa"
05:26
(Laughter)
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(Qosol)
05:29
But one miracle cure we did find was yoga.
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laakin halka mucjiso daaweyn ansameynay waxay ahayd yoga
05:32
I have to tell you, it's very boring,
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waa inan kusheega , aad bay ucaajis badantahay,
05:35
but before I did yoga,
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laaking inta anan yogada an sameyn kahor waxay ahayd
05:37
I was a stand-up comedian who can't stand up.
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waxaan ahay majaajileste-istaageed anan istaagi karin
05:40
And now I can stand on my head.
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hadane waxaan kujoogsan karaa madaxa.
05:43
My parents reinforced this notion
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Waalidintayda waxaa lagu adkeeyay fikradan ahi
05:48
that I could do anything,
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inan waxkasta an sameen karo,
05:51
that no dream was impossible,
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Taas oo aysan jirin riyo an surtogal ahayn
05:53
and my dream was to be
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Riyadaydane waxay ahayd
05:54
on the daytime soap opera "General Hospital."
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inta lagu gudojiro maalinti soap opera "isbitalka cudurada guud"
05:58
I went to college during affirmative action
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waxaan aday kuliyad inta lagu guda jiray soocitanka
06:01
and got a sweet scholarship to ASU,
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aana kahelay waxbarasho lacag la'an ah oo macaan ee ASU,
06:03
Arizona State University,
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Jaamacada Arizona,
06:05
because I fit every single quota.
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maxaa yeelay waxaan buxshay cadadka tiro laogolay
06:08
I was like the pet lemur of the theater department.
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Waxan ahaay qof aad loo xanaaneeyo.
06:13
Everybody loved me.
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Qof walbo ayaa i jeclaay.
06:14
I did all the less-than-intelligent kids' homework,
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waxaan sameeyay dhamaan caruurta an caqliyeysan cashiradooda dhan,
06:18
I got A's in all of my classes,
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waxaana kahelay "A" dhamaan fasalladayda,
06:19
A's in all of their classes.
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"A" dhaman fasaladooda.
06:22
Every time I did a scene
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waqti kasta oo aan sameeya dagaal
06:24
from "The Glass Menagerie,"
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kabilaaw "Fasalka maamulaha"
06:26
my professors would weep.
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Profeesaradeeyda way ooyi jidheen.
06:28
But I never got cast.
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laakin waligay lima burin .
06:31
Finally, my senior year,
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Ugu dambeyntii, sanadkeeyki heerka sare,
06:32
ASU decided to do a show called
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"ASU" ayaa go'aansantay inay qabtaan show la dhaho
06:34
"They Dance Real Slow in Jackson."
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"Waxay magalada Jackson ugu cayaaran si dagan".
06:36
It's a play about a girl with C.P.
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waa cayaar kusabsan gabar qabto cudurka Gargariirka.
06:39
I was a girl with C.P.
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waxaane ahay gabar qabta "C.P"
06:41
So I start shouting from the rooftops,
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Marka waxaan u qeeylinayay si sare,
06:44
"I'm finally going to get a part!
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"Ugu dambeeyntii waan ka qayb qaadanayaa!
06:46
I have cerebral palsy!
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waxaan qabaa cudurlka gargariirka!
06:48
Free at last! Free at last!
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Xor ayaan ahay! Xor ayaan ahay!
06:50
Thank God almighty, I'm free at last!"
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Mahad eeba ayaa leh , waxan ahay xor ugu dambeyntii!"
06:53
I didn't get the part. (Laughter)
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Ma aanan helin qaybta. (Qosol)
06:57
Sherry Brown got the part.
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Sherry brown aya heshay qaybti.
06:59
I went racing to the head of the theater department
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Waxan aaday madaxa waxda tiyatarka
07:02
crying hysterically, like someone shot my cat,
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anigoo u oynaya , sidii qof in bisadayda dilay oo kale,
07:04
to ask her why,
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sian uwaydiiyo sababta,
07:06
and she said it was because
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waxayna itiri waxay ahayd maxayeelay
07:07
they didn't think I could do the stunts.
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maynan umaleyneenin in aan sameen karo ciyarta halista ah.
07:10
I said, "Excuse me, if I can't do the stunts,
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waxaan dhahay "Igaraali noqo, hadii anan sameen karin ciyaarta halista ah,
07:13
neither can the character."
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midkeene masameenkaro Jilida."
07:15
(Laughter) (Applause)
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(Qosol) (Sacbis)
07:22
This was a part that I was literally born to play
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Tani waxay ahayd qayb an kuudhashtay inan cayaaro
07:28
and they gave it, they gave it to a non-palsy actress.
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waxayna siiyeen, waxay siiyen qof anan laleemo qabin
07:32
College was imitating life.
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kuliyada waxay ahayd mid laisku daydo,
07:35
Hollywood has a sordid history
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Hollywood-ka waxay leedahay taariikh aana daacad aheen
07:37
of casting able-bodied actors
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Taaso Aktarada jirkooda caadi ahi
07:39
to play disabled onscreen.
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in ay shaashadu ku matalaan kuwa jiisiin ah.
07:42
Upon graduating, I moved back home,
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markan kaqalin jabshay, waxaan dib ugu guuray magaladayda
07:44
and my first acting gig was
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Jilitaankeygii ugu horeeyay ee shactaroola-nimada waxay ahayd
07:46
as an extra on a daytime soap opera.
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shaqo dheerad ah oo maalintii aan u shaqeeyo taleefishan.
07:49
My dream was coming true.
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Riyadeyda ayaa ii rumoobeysay.
07:51
And I knew that I would be promoted
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waane ogaay in la i dalacsiin doono
07:53
from "diner diner" to "wacky best friend" in no time.
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kasoo bilaaw "maqyad kacunteen cunteen " ilaa aan kanoqodo "saaxibka ugu wanaagsan"
07:58
But instead, I remained a glorified piece of furniture
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laakin badalka, waxaan kusii baaqi ahaaday in siqaaliyeyo qeeb kamid ah agabyada
08:00
that you could only recognize
from the back of my head,
from the back of my head,
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taas ooka liyah adka garan karto karto madaxayga qeebtisa dambe,
08:03
and it became clear to me
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waxaana xaqiiqsaday
08:05
that casting directors
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xulayaasha jilaayasha
08:07
didn't hire fluffy, ethnic, disabled actors.
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Aysan marnaba hool galin karin Aktarada jiisaska ahi.
08:11
They only hired perfect people.
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waxay kaliyah hool galiyeen dad dhameestiran.
08:13
But there were exceptions to the rule.
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laakin waxaan ahayn kuwo kareeban sharciyada
08:15
I grew up watching Whoopi Goldberg,
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waxaan kusoowaynaaday fiirsashada Whoopi Goldberg,
08:17
Roseanne Barr, Ellen,
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Roseanne Bar, Ellen (waa magacyo naageed)
08:19
and all of these women had one thing in common:
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naagahaas oo dhan hal sheey ayee wada jir ka ahaayeen :
08:22
they were comedians.
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waxay dhamaantooda ahaayeen majaajiliistayaal.
08:23
So I became a comic.
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Markan aniguna waxan noqday majaajiliiste.
08:26
(Laughter) (Applause)
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(Qosol) (Sacab)
08:31
My first gig was driving famous comics
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Majaajiladayda ugu horaysay, waxaan waday majaajiliistayaal kale
08:35
from New York City to shows in New Jersey,
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kasoo bilaaw New York ilaa laga gaaro show lagu qabanayay New Jersey
08:38
and I'll never forget the face of the first comic
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marnaba mahilmaayo wejiga majaajiliistihii ugu horeeyay
08:40
I ever drove when he realized
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aan wado markuu ogaaday
08:42
that he was speeding down the New Jersey Turnpike
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inu wadada ku ku taalo New Jersey ay kula xawaareyneysay
08:45
with a chick with C.P. driving him.
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misna ay waday gabar qabto cudurka gar gariirrka ama laleemo.
08:48
I've performed in clubs all over America,
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Bandhigyo badan ayaan Mareekanka ka qabtay,
08:51
and I've also performed in Arabic in the Middle East,
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sidoo kale Arabta bariga dhexe,
08:54
uncensored and uncovered.
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anigoo aana is qarineeynin ama lii barareenin.
08:58
Some people say I'm the first
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Dadka qaar ayaa dhaho waxaan ahay majaajiliistihii
09:00
stand-up comic in the Arab world.
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ugu horeeyay ee dunida carabta.
09:02
I never like to claim first,
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majeclaan inaa sheegto booskas ugu horenta ahi,
09:04
but I do know that they never heard
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laakin waxaan ogahay ineesa waligood maqlin
09:06
that nasty little rumor that women aren't funny,
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in dumar aysan noqon karin qof dadka ka qosliyo,
09:10
and they find us hysterical.
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waxayna noo heestaan kaliya inaanan is celin karin xaga dabeecada.
09:15
In 2003, my brother from another mother and father
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2003-dii, walaalkeyga ay dhaleen hooyo iyo aabe kale
09:19
Dean Obeidallah and I started
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Dean Obeidallah iyo aniga, waxaan bilaawnay
09:21
the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival,
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damaashad majaajilo ee Carabta-Amarikanka ahi ee kusugana New York ,
09:24
now in its 10th year.
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hada waa sanadii 10-aad.
09:25
Our goal was to change the negative image
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Hadafkeeni wuxuu ahaa inaan badalno sawirka qaldan
09:29
of Arab-Americans in media,
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ay Carabta-Amerikan ahi ay ka heestaan saxaafada,
09:31
while also reminding casting directors
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anigoo misna xasuusinayo agaasimaha jilalaayasha
09:34
that South Asian and Arab are not synonymous.
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in dadka koonfurta Asia iyo Carab-taba ay isku mid aheen.
09:37
(Laughter)
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(Qosol)
09:40
Mainstreaming Arabs was much, much easier
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Guud ahaan Carabtu waxay ahaayen, kuwa aad ugu fudud
09:45
than conquering the challenge
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inay qabsadaan xujada
09:47
against the stigma against disability.
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lagaga soo horjeedo dhaleeceenta cuuryaanimada.
09:50
My big break came in 2010.
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Fasaxayga dheeray wuxuu imaaday 2010-kii dhexdiis.
09:53
I was invited to be a guest
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waxaa liigu casuumay inaa marti ka noqdo
09:54
on the cable news show
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show la dhaho
09:56
"Countdown With Keith Olbermann."
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"waqti xiisa ah la qaado Keith Olbermann."
09:58
I walked in looking like I was going to the prom,
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gudaha ayaan u sii socday sidii anoo u socdo damaashaad qalin jebin iskuul
10:01
and they shuffle me into a studio
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Gudaha istuudiyahay ayee si daganaan ah ii galiyeen
10:03
and seat me on a spinning, rolling chair.
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iguna fadhiisiyeen kursi war-wareeganayo .
10:08
So I looked at the stage manager and I'm like,
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Waxaan fiiiriyay maamulaha masraxa oo an ku dhahay,
10:11
"Excuse me, can I have another chair?"
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"Iga raali noqo, kursi kale maheli karaa?"
10:14
And she looked at me and she went,
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Way i fiirisay misna way iga dhaqaaqday,
10:15
"Five, four, three, two ..."
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"Shan,Afar,Seddax,Labo...!
10:18
And we were live, right?
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Misna waxaan aheen toos, haye?
10:20
So I had to grip onto the anchor's desk
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Marka Mikroofanka ku dhagan miiska ayaan qabsaday
10:22
so that I wouldn't roll off the
screen during the segment,
screen during the segment,
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si aanan shaashada uga dhicin markii aan is badaleeyno
10:26
and when the interview was over, I was livid.
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markii uu wareeysigii dhamaaday, aad baan u xanaaqay.
10:29
I had finally gotten my chance and I blew it,
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jaaniskeeyga ayaan helay ugu dambeyn waana iska qasaariyay,
10:31
and I knew I would never get invited back.
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waxaana ogaay inaanan mar dambe la igu marti qaadi doonin.
10:34
But not only did Mr. Olbermann invite me back,
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Laakin Mr. Olbermann muusan kaliya imarti qaadin markale,
10:37
he made me a full-time contributor,
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ee wuxuu iga dhigay shaqaale joogto ah,
10:40
and he taped down my chair.
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Kursigaygana dhulka ayuu ku dhajiyay.
10:43
(Laughter) (Applause)
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(Laughter)(Sacbis)
10:49
One fun fact I learned while on the air
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Hal xaqiiq oo aan bartay markii aan la joogay
10:51
with Keith Olbermann
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Keith Olbermann
10:52
was that humans on the Internet are scumbags.
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ayaa waxay ahey in dadka interneetka isticmaalo ay yihiin dad aad u xun.
10:56
People say children are cruel,
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Dadku waxay dhahaan caruurtu waa xaasidiin,
10:58
but I was never made fun of as a child or an adult.
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laakin waligeyga liiguma shactireesan yaraanteyda iyo weeynaanteydaba.
11:02
Suddenly, my disability on the
world wide web is fair game.
world wide web is fair game.
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SI lama filaan ah, jiisnimadayda dhanka shabakada waa mid ciyaar daacad ah
11:05
I would look at clips online
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2011
waxaan fiiriyaa vidiiyow-yaasha tooska ahi
11:07
and see comments like,
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waxaana arkaa qoraalo ah sida,
11:09
"Yo, why's she tweakin?"
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"Waar, maxay isku mar-maroojineeysaa?"
11:12
"Yo, is she retarded?"
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"Waar, miyeey caqli dhimantahay?"
11:14
And my favorite, "Poor Gumby-mouth terrorist.
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Iyo mida igu xiisaha badan, "Argagaxisadaan faqiirta ah ee afka-dheer.
11:17
What does she suffer from?
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Maxay ka dhibtooneysa?
11:19
We should really pray for her."
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Xaqiiqdii waa inaan u duceeynaa."
11:23
One commenter even suggested
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Mid ayaa xitaa qorayay
11:24
that I add my disability to my credits:
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inaan jiisnimadayda ku daro kaararkeyga:
11:27
screenwriter, comedian, palsy.
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qoraalada filimaanta, majaajiladayda, laleemada.
11:32
Disability is as visual as race.
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Cuuryaan-nimadu waa wax la arki karo sida tartanka.
11:35
If a wheelchair user can't play Beyoncé,
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hadii jiiska kursiga kusocdo aysan ika dhigi karin Beyoncé,
11:38
then Beyoncé can't play a wheelchair user.
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marka Beyoncé-na iskama dhigi karto jiis kursi kusocdo.
11:41
The disabled are the largest —
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Cuuryaanku waa mida ugu weyn----
11:43
Yeah, clap for that, man. C'mon.
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Haa, usacbiya dee midaas .sameeya.
11:46
(Applause)
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(Sacbis)
11:51
People with disabilities are the largest minority
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Dadka cuuryaan-nimadu ay haleeshay waa kuwa ugu baaxada weyn ee ugu yar
11:53
in the world, and we are the most underrepresented
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ee aduunka joogo, waxaana nahay dadka ugu badan ee matalo
11:56
in entertainment.
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dhanka madadaalada.
11:58
The doctors said that I wouldn't walk,
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Dhaqaatiirta waxay igu dhaheen inaanan socon doonin,
12:01
but I am here in front of you.
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laakin waa ikanaa anigaan hortiina joogo.
12:03
However, if I grew up with social media,
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Siwalbaba, hadii aan la weeynaaday aalada warbaahinta bulshada,
12:06
I don't think I would be.
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ma umaleeynayo inaan noqon doono.
12:08
I hope that together
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waxaan rajeynayaa inaan si wada jir ah
12:09
we can create more positive images
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aan u abuuri karno wejiyo wanaagsan
12:12
of disability in the media and in everyday life.
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dhanka warbaahinta ee cuuryaanimada iyo dhanka molosha maalin walbo
12:15
Perhaps if there were more positive images,
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Hubaal ahaantii hadii ay jiri laheed sawiro wanaagsan,
12:18
it would foster less hate on the Internet.
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waxay si yar ukobcin laheed naceebka aalada interneetka.
12:21
Or maybe not.
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ama maba jiri laheen naceeb.
12:23
Maybe it still takes a village
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waxa macquul ah in weli aay qaadaneyso waqti badan
12:25
to teach our children well.
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inaa barno caruurteena samaanta.
12:28
My crooked journey has taken me
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Safarkeeyga khaa'inka ahi ayaa wuxuu i waday
12:30
to some very spectacular places.
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meelo aad u qurux badan.
12:32
I got to walk the red carpet
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waxaan ku socoday rooga cas.
12:35
flanked by soap diva Susan Lucci
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Geesaha iyagoo iga joogaan heesayda quruxleeyda Susan Lucci
12:38
and the iconic Lorraine Arbus.
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iyo qofta xushmada mudan ee Lorraine Arbus.
12:40
I got to act in a movie with Adam Sandler
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waxaan kaloo flim la jilay Adam Sandler
12:42
and work with my idol,
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waxaan kaloo la shaqeeyay qofkaa aan adka ula daba dhaco
12:44
the amazing Dave Matthews.
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Dave Matthews.
12:46
I toured the world as a headliner
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1918
Aduunka ayaan safar kusoo maray si qodobada ugu doorka roon ahi
12:48
on Arabs Gone Wild.
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anigoo lii dhahaayo Carabtu bahalooween.
12:50
I was a delegate
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waxaa lii doortay inaan u hadlo
12:53
representing the great state of New Jersey
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anigoo matalaayo qaranka sare ee New Jersey
12:56
at the 2008 DNC.
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ee Ururka Qaramada Demoqraadiga ee 2008-kii .
12:58
And I founded Maysoon's Kids,
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Waxaan sammeeyay xarun caruureed oo la dhaho ( Maysoon's Kids,)
13:00
a charity that hopes
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Urur caawimaad oo rajeyneeyso
13:02
to give Palestinian refugee children
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inaay siiso caruurta masaakiinta ah ee ku jiro xarumaha qaxootiga Falastiin
13:04
a sliver of the chance my parents gave me.
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Jab yar oo jaaniskii waalidkeyga isiiyeen ah.
13:07
But the one moment that stands out the most
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Laakin marka kaliya ee aan aadka ula dhacay ugu badnaan
13:10
was when I got -- before this moment --
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waa markii aan helay---markaan kahor--
13:12
(Laughter) (Applause) —
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(Qosol)(Sacbis)--
13:20
but the one moment that stands out the most
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laakin marka kaliya aan aadka ula dhacay ugu badnaan
13:23
was when I got to perform
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waa marka kaliya aan ka ag jilay
13:25
for the man who floats like a butterfly
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ninka usabeeyo sida balanbaalista
13:28
and stings like a bee,
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misna qaniina sida shinida,
13:29
has Parkinson's and shakes just like me,
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misna qaba cudurka Laleemada hada ujareeya sideeyda oo kale,
13:33
Muhammad Ali.
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Muhammad Ali.
13:35
(Applause)
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(Sacbis)
13:43
It was the only time
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waxaay ahay waqtiga kaliya
13:45
that my father ever saw me perform live,
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uu aabahayga i arkay anoo si toos ah u jilaayo
13:47
and I dedicate this talk to his memory.
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waxaana hadalkaan u hibeeynayaa qalbigiisa
13:51
(In Arabic)
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(Allah kuu naxariisto aabe)
13:53
My name is Maysoon Zayid,
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Magacayga waa Maysoon Zayid,
13:56
and if I can can, you can can.
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Hadii aan aniga awoodo , adigana waad awoodaa.
13:59
(Applause)
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(Sacbis)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Maysoon Zayid - Comedian and writerWriter, actor, comedian, Maysoon Zayid is the co-founder of the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival.
Why you should listen
Early in her acting career, Maysoon Zayid realized she'd get a lot more stage time if she showed off how funny she was. As she told the BBC, "It became very obvious to me that in the United States of America, a fluffy ethnic disabled chick was never going to get a job unless she did stand-up."
A Palestinian woman from New Jersey, Zayid jokes about her family, global culture, and her life with cerebral palsy. Along with Dean Obeidallah, she founded the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival, now in its 10th year. She spends several months of the year in the Palestinian Territories running workshops for disabled and orphaned kids in refugee camps, using art to help them deal with trauma. And yes -- if you're an Adam Sandler fan, you'll recognize Zayid as the woman behind the beauty-shop counter in You Don't Mess With the Zohan.
Maysoon Zayid | Speaker | TED.com