ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Maysoon Zayid - Comedian and writer
Writer, actor, comedian, Maysoon Zayid is the co-founder of the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival.

Why you should listen

Early in her acting career, Maysoon Zayid realized she'd get a lot more stage time if she showed off how funny she was. As she told the BBC, "It became very obvious to me that in the United States of America, a fluffy ethnic disabled chick was never going to get a job unless she did stand-up."

A Palestinian woman from New Jersey, Zayid jokes about her family, global culture, and her life with cerebral palsy. Along with Dean Obeidallah, she founded the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival, now in its 10th year. She spends several months of the year in the Palestinian Territories running workshops for disabled and orphaned kids in refugee camps, using art to help them deal with trauma. And yes -- if you're an Adam Sandler fan, you'll recognize Zayid as the woman behind the beauty-shop counter in You Don't Mess With the Zohan.

More profile about the speaker
Maysoon Zayid | Speaker | TED.com
TEDWomen 2013

Maysoon Zayid: I got 99 problems ... palsy is just one

梅意森·薩依德: 我有一大堆問題...腦麻只是其一

Filmed:
10,708,171 views

"身為腦麻患者,我全身肌肉隨時都在抖動!“喜劇演員梅意森·薩依德逗趣的開場為詼諧的演講畫龍點睛。“我就像夏奇拉加上拳王阿里!”她妙语連珠,機智慧黠地帶領聽眾,緊湊穿梭在演員、阿裔美國人、人道主義者、身障維權人士的多重角色間,讓你開懷大笑。
- Comedian and writer
Writer, actor, comedian, Maysoon Zayid is the co-founder of the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
Hello你好, TEDWomenTEDWomen, what's up.
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TEDWomen的各位,大家好!
00:14
(Cheers乾杯)
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(歡聲雷動)
00:16
Not good enough足夠.
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氣氛不夠熱喔
00:17
Hello你好, TEDWomenTEDWomen, what is up?
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各位女士,妳們好嗎?
00:19
(Cheers乾杯)
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(更熱烈的回應)
00:21
My name名稱 is MaysoonMaysoon Zayid扎耶德,
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我叫梅意森·薩依德
00:23
and I am not drunk,
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別以為我喝醉酒了
00:26
but the doctor醫生 who delivered交付 me was.
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幫我媽接生的醫生才喝得爛醉
00:28
He cut my mom媽媽 six different不同 times
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他在我媽的肚皮上共劃了6刀
00:32
in six different不同 directions方向,
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每一刀還不同方向
00:35
suffocating令人窒息 poor較差的 little me in the process處理.
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弱小的我在產程中硬生生窒息
00:37
As a result結果, I have cerebral顱內 palsy麻痺,
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結果呢,我就成了腦麻
00:40
which哪一個 means手段 I shake all the time.
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這就是我一直抖個不停的原因
00:43
Look.
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就像這樣
00:46
It's exhausting辛苦. I'm like Shakira夏奇拉, Shakira夏奇拉
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抖個沒完很累的
有點像能歌善舞的歌手夏奇拉上身
00:49
meets符合 Muhammad穆罕默德 Ali阿里.
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更像是夏奇拉和拳王阿里上身
00:51
(Laughter笑聲)
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(大笑)
00:54
C.P. is not genetic遺傳.
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腦麻既不會遺傳
00:56
It's not a birth分娩 defect缺陷. You can't catch抓住 it.
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也不是先天缺損
更不是傳染病
00:59
No one put a curse詛咒 on my mother's母親 uterus子宮,
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沒人對我媽的子宮下咒
01:02
and I didn't get it because
my parents父母 are first cousins表兄弟,
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近親結婚也不是腦麻的元兇
01:05
which哪一個 they are.
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雖然我爸媽還真的是表親
01:07
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
01:11
It only happens發生 from accidents事故,
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意外跟腦麻絕對脫不了關係
01:13
like what happened發生 to me on my birth分娩 day.
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就像我出生那天發生的一切
01:16
Now, I must必須 warn警告 you, I'm not inspirational勵志,
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不過我一點也不想變得"啟發人心"
01:21
and I don't want anyone任何人 in this room房間
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我也不想要在座任何人
01:23
to feel bad for me,
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為我感到難過
01:25
because at some point in your life,
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因為生活中總有些時候
01:27
you have dreamt夢見 of being存在 disabled.
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你們夢想變成身障者
01:30
Come on a journey旅程 with me.
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讓我們想像一下
01:32
It's Christmas聖誕 Eve前夕, you're at the mall購物中心,
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現在是平安夜
你開車來到購物商場
01:35
you're driving主動 around in circles looking for parking停車處,
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卻怎麼都找不到停車位
01:39
and what do you see?
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這時你看到甚麼?
01:41
Sixteen十六 empty handicapped殘廢 spaces空間.
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16個空的身障車位
01:45
And you're like, "God, can't I just be
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然後你心想:“天啊,我能否變成
01:48
a little disabled?"
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一點點行動不便呢?”
01:50
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
01:55
Also, I gotta總得 tell you,
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我還要告訴大家的是
01:56
I got 99 problems問題, and palsy麻痺 is just one.
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我有一拖拉庫的問題
腦麻不過是其中之一
02:01
If there was an Oppression壓迫 Olympics奧運會,
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要是有個"壓"林匹克運動會
02:04
I would win贏得 the gold medal勳章.
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我鐵定拿金牌
02:06
I'm Palestinian巴勒斯坦的, Muslim穆斯林, I'm female, I'm disabled,
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我是身障的女性,
還是巴勒斯坦裔的穆斯林
02:11
and I live生活 in New Jersey新澤西.
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而且我住在紐澤西
02:13
(Laughter笑聲) (Applause掌聲)
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(笑聲掌聲此起彼落)
02:19
If you don't feel better about
yourself你自己, maybe you should.
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若你先前覺得日子難過
現在應該感到好過得多了
02:23
Cliffside摩崖 Park公園, New Jersey新澤西 is my hometown家鄉.
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我來自紐澤西州的克里夫賽德帕克
02:25
I have always loved喜愛 the fact事實
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我很喜歡住在那裏
02:28
that my hood引擎罩 and my affliction痛苦
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因為地名和腦麻很相似
02:30
share分享 the same相同 initials聲母.
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都有個C和P
02:32
I also love the fact事實 that if I wanted to walk步行
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我也很慶幸
02:34
from my house to New York紐約 City, I could.
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我從我家就能走到紐約市
02:37
A lot of people with C.P. don't walk步行,
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畢竟大多腦麻患者無法行走
02:40
but my parents父母 didn't believe in "can't."
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但我爸媽相信天下無難事
02:43
My father's父親的 mantra口頭禪 was,
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我爸還有個座右銘
02:45
"You can do it, yes you can can."
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“你做得到,你能化不可能為可能”
02:48
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
02:51
So, if my three older舊的 sisters姐妹 were mopping掃蕩,
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所以我三個姊姊要幫忙拖地的話
02:55
I was mopping掃蕩.
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我就要一起幫忙拖地
02:56
If my three older舊的 sisters姐妹 went to public上市 school學校,
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我三個姊姊可以上公立學校
02:58
my parents父母 would sue起訴 the school學校 system系統
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我爸媽就會向校方申訴
03:01
and guarantee保證 that I went too,
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以確保我也可以上公立學校
03:03
and if we didn't all get A's,
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而若我們沒有每科都得A等
03:05
we all got my mother's母親 slipper拖鞋.
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就等著媽媽的拖鞋伺候
03:07
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
03:09
My father父親 taught me how to walk步行
when I was five years年份 old
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我5歲時爸爸教我走路
03:12
by placing配售 my heels腳跟 on his feet
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他把我的腳跟放在他的腳掌上
03:15
and just walking步行.
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然後一步一步走
03:17
Another另一個 tactic戰術 that he used is he would dangle吊著
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他還有讓我進步的高招
03:19
a dollar美元 bill法案 in front面前 of me and have me chase it.
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他會拿1元美鈔在我面前晃
然後為了追錢我就會跨步向前
03:24
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
03:25
My inner stripper脫衣舞 was very strong強大, and by --
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見錢眼開的我甚麼都願意做
03:28
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
03:30
Yeah. No, by the first day of kindergarten幼兒園,
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日子一天天過去
到了我上幼稚園的第一天
03:33
I was walking步行 like a champ冠軍
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我已走得像神氣活現的衛冕者
03:34
who had been punched one too many許多 times.
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只不過是挨了好幾拳的衛冕者
03:38
Growing生長 up, there were only six Arabs阿拉伯人 in my town,
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成長過程中我家附近只有6個阿拉伯人
03:42
and they were all my family家庭.
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他們都是我家人
03:44
Now there are 20 Arabs阿拉伯人 in town,
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現在增加到20個阿拉伯人
03:46
and they are still all my family家庭. (Laughter笑聲)
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但他們還都來自我家(笑聲)
03:49
I don't think anyone任何人 even noticed注意到 we weren't Italian意大利.
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街坊鄰居大概以為我們來自義大利
03:52
(Laughter笑聲) (Applause掌聲)
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(笑聲掌聲不斷)
04:00
This was before 9/11 and before politicians政治家
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當然這都是在“九一一”恐怖攻擊前的往事
04:03
thought it was appropriate適當 to use "I hate討厭 Moslems穆斯林"
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從前執政者絕不會濫用
"我反穆斯林"的激進口號
04:06
as a campaign運動 slogan口號.
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來作為政令宣傳的標語
04:08
The people that I grew成長 up with
had no problem問題 with my faith信仰.
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和我一起長大的同伴
未曾質疑過我的宗教信仰
04:12
They did, however然而, seem似乎 very concerned關心
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倒是非常擔憂我的健康
04:14
that I would starve餓死 to death死亡 during Ramadan齋月.
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他們覺得齋戒月會把我餓死
04:17
I would explain說明 to them that I have enough足夠 fat脂肪
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我會請他們放心
04:19
to live生活 off of for three whole整個 months個月,
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畢竟身上的脂肪
夠我撐整整三個月
04:21
so fasting禁食 from sunrise日出 to sunset日落 is a piece of cake蛋糕.
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所以整天禁食沒什麼大不了
04:26
I have tap-danced自來水跳舞 on Broadway百老匯.
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我曾上百老匯的舞台跳踢踏舞
04:29
Yeah, on Broadway百老匯. It's crazy. (Applause掌聲)
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聽來很不可思議
但沒錯就是百老匯(掌聲)
04:32
My parents父母 couldn't不能 afford給予 physical物理 therapy治療,
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我爸媽當年沒錢給我復健
04:34
so they sent發送 me to dancing跳舞 school學校.
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他們便送我去舞蹈學校
04:37
I learned學到了 how to dance舞蹈 in heels腳跟,
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在那裏我學會踩著高跟鞋跳舞
04:39
which哪一個 means手段 I can walk步行 in heels腳跟.
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自然也能穿高跟鞋走來走去
04:40
And I'm from Jersey新澤西,
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又因為我來自紐澤西
04:42
and we are really concerned關心 with being存在 chic別緻,
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我和朋友都很注重女人味
04:44
so if my friends朋友 wore穿著 heels腳跟, so did I.
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所以我跟大家一起穿高跟鞋
04:48
And when my friends朋友 went and
spent花費 their summer夏季 vacations休假
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暑假時朋友紛紛到紐澤西海邊度假
04:51
on the Jersey新澤西 Shore支撐, I did not.
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但我沒有這樣的機會
04:54
I spent花費 my summers夏天 in a war戰爭 zone,
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我的暑徦大半是在戰地過的
04:56
because my parents父母 were afraid害怕
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這安排跟我爸媽的理念有關
04:58
that if we didn't go back to Palestine巴勒斯坦
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他們擔心若沒有養成返鄉傳統
05:00
every一切 single summer夏季,
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在每年暑假回到巴勒斯坦
05:02
we'd星期三 grow增長 up to be Madonna麥當娜.
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孩子長大后會像瑪丹娜
忘了自己的根本
05:04
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
05:09
Summer夏季 vacations休假 often經常 consisted of
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每年暑假
05:13
my father父親 trying to heal癒合 me,
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我爸都千方百計想治療我
05:14
so I drank deer's鹿 milk牛奶,
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為此我喝過鹿奶
05:16
I had hot cups on my back,
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我做過背部拔罐
05:18
I was dunked扣籃 in the Dead Sea,
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還整個人泡在死海裡
05:20
and I remember記得 the water burning燃燒 my eyes眼睛
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鹽水弄疼了我的雙眼
05:23
and thinking思維, "It's working加工! It's working加工!"
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我心想:“這有效!這終於有效了!”
05:26
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
05:29
But one miracle奇蹟 cure治愈 we did find was yoga瑜伽.
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但真正有效的是瑜珈
05:32
I have to tell you, it's very boring無聊,
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說實在的瑜珈超無聊
05:35
but before I did yoga瑜伽,
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不過在我做瑜珈前
05:37
I was a stand-up站起來 comedian喜劇演員 who can't stand up.
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我是個站不起來的即興喜劇演員
05:40
And now I can stand on my head.
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做瑜珈後我可以用頭倒立
05:43
My parents父母 reinforced加強 this notion概念
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我爸媽更堅強他們的信念
05:48
that I could do anything,
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深信我能辦到任何事
05:51
that no dream夢想 was impossible不可能,
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而且沒有不可能完成的夢
05:53
and my dream夢想 was to be
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當時我有個夢想
05:54
on the daytime白天 soap肥皂 opera歌劇 "General一般 Hospital醫院."
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想要在影集“中央醫院”軋上一角
05:58
I went to college學院 during affirmative肯定 action行動
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我在平權法案時期上了大學
06:01
and got a sweet scholarship獎學金 to ASUASU,
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並獲得ASU的優渥獎學金
06:03
Arizona亞利桑那 State University大學,
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ASU是亞利桑那州立大學
06:05
because I fit適合 every一切 single quota配額.
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那簡直是為我量身打造的缺
06:08
I was like the pet寵物 lemur狐猴 of the theater劇院 department.
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我就像戲劇系上楚楚可憐的小猴
06:13
Everybody每個人 loved喜愛 me.
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人見人愛
06:14
I did all the less-than-intelligent低於智能 kids'孩子們 homework家庭作業,
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我幫非天才型的同學寫作業
06:18
I got A's in all of my classes,
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我每門課都拿A
06:19
A's in all of their classes.
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幫忙罩同學的課也不例外
06:22
Every一切 time I did a scene現場
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每次試鏡“玻璃動物園”劇中一角
06:24
from "The Glass玻璃 Menagerie動物園,"
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我詮釋苦苦單戀的身障女子
06:26
my professors教授 would weep哭泣.
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教授們都感動得直掉淚
06:28
But I never got cast.
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但我還是沒能正式登台演出
06:31
Finally最後, my senior前輩 year,
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終於在我大四那年有個大好機會
06:32
ASUASU decided決定 to do a show顯示 called
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亞大計畫演出一檔劇目
06:34
"They Dance舞蹈 Real真實 Slow in Jackson傑克遜."
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叫做“慢舞的傑森小鎮”
06:36
It's a play about a girl女孩 with C.P.
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主角是一位腦麻女孩
06:39
I was a girl女孩 with C.P.
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而我就是一位腦麻女孩
06:41
So I start開始 shouting叫喊 from the rooftops屋頂,
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所以我欣喜若狂又叫又跳
06:44
"I'm finally最後 going to get a part部分!
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“我終於可以粉墨登場囉!”
06:46
I have cerebral顱內 palsy麻痺!
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“我有腦性麻痺,耶比”
06:48
Free自由 at last! Free自由 at last!
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我高呼:“自由了!自由了!
06:50
Thank God almighty大能, I'm free自由 at last!"
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萬能的上帝,我終於自由了!”
06:53
I didn't get the part部分. (Laughter笑聲)
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但我還是落選了(笑聲)
06:57
Sherry雪莉酒 Brown棕色 got the part部分.
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我同學雪莉·布朗得到角色
06:59
I went racing賽跑 to the head of the theater劇院 department
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我拔腿衝到戲劇系主任室
07:02
crying哭了 hysterically歇斯底里, like someone有人 shot射擊 my cat,
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我歇斯底里嚎啕大哭
好像我的寵物被人殺了一般
07:04
to ask her why,
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我問她落選的原因
07:06
and she said it was because
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她說:
07:07
they didn't think I could do the stunts特技.
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系上認為我不能應付劇中需要的特技
07:10
I said, "Excuse藉口 me, if I can't do the stunts特技,
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我嗆聲:“如果我都不能做特技”
07:13
neither也不 can the character字符."
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"那麼同樣腦麻的主角也一樣不能啊"
07:15
(Laughter笑聲) (Applause掌聲)
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(笑聲加掌聲)
07:22
This was a part部分 that I was literally按照字面 born天生 to play
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這角色是注定要給我的
07:28
and they gave it, they gave it to a non-palsy非麻痺 actress演員.
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他們卻硬生生給了非腦麻的演員
07:32
College學院 was imitating冒充 life.
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有人說大學是社會的縮影
07:35
Hollywood好萊塢 has a sordid污穢 history歷史
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而好萊塢一向有個不名譽的行規
07:37
of casting鑄件 able-bodied身強力壯 actors演員
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他們讓身體健全的演員
07:39
to play disabled onscreen在屏幕上.
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登台演出身障的角色
07:42
Upon graduating畢業, I moved移動 back home,
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畢業後我搬回家住
07:44
and my first acting演戲 gig演出 was
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我的首演
07:46
as an extra額外 on a daytime白天 soap肥皂 opera歌劇.
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在晨間播映電視劇中跑龍套
07:49
My dream夢想 was coming未來 true真正.
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我總算圓夢了
07:51
And I knew知道 that I would be promoted提拔
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我確信不久後我就會星運亨通
07:53
from "diner餐車 diner餐車" to "wacky古怪 best最好 friend朋友" in no time.
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從龍套一躍成為當家紅牌演員
07:58
But instead代替, I remained保持 a glorified榮耀 piece of furniture家具
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不過我仍是名不見經傳的小卒
08:00
that you could only recognize認識
from the back of my head,
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戲分之少讓我只能短暫露臉
08:03
and it became成為 clear明確 to me
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我這才漸漸領悟
08:05
that casting鑄件 directors董事
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導演選角的考量
08:07
didn't hire聘請 fluffy蓬鬆, ethnic民族, disabled actors演員.
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傻氣的身障演員很不受青睞
更不歡迎身為少數族裔的我
08:11
They only hired僱用 perfect完善 people.
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他們只錄用"完美無缺"的人
08:13
But there were exceptions例外 to the rule規則.
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不過凡有原則必有例外
08:15
I grew成長 up watching觀看 Whoopi烏比戈 Goldberg戈德堡,
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我從小就很迷琥碧·戈柏
08:17
Roseanne羅珊娜 Barr巴爾, Ellen艾倫,
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和羅珊·巴爾、艾倫等人
08:19
and all of these women婦女 had one thing in common共同:
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這些迷人的女士有個共通點
08:22
they were comedians喜劇演員.
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她們都是喜劇演員
08:23
So I became成為 a comic滑稽.
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耳濡目染下我也開始當喜劇演員
08:26
(Laughter笑聲) (Applause掌聲)
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(笑聲加掌聲)
08:31
My first gig演出 was driving主動 famous著名 comics漫畫
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我第一份差事是開車載知名喜劇演員
08:35
from New York紐約 City to shows節目 in New Jersey新澤西,
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從紐約到紐澤西的攝影棚
08:38
and I'll never forget忘記 the face面對 of the first comic滑稽
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那位喜劇演員的表情令我難忘
08:40
I ever drove開車 when he realized實現
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他大驚失色
08:42
that he was speeding超速 down the New Jersey新澤西 Turnpike收費公路
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想到飛馳在紐澤西的高速公路上
08:45
with a chick小雞 with C.P. driving主動 him.
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還是腦麻女孩開車不慌也難
08:48
I've performed執行 in clubs會所 all over America美國,
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我曾巡演於全美各俱樂部
08:51
and I've also performed執行 in Arabic阿拉伯 in the Middle中間 East,
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也曾用阿拉伯語在中東表演
08:54
uncensored未經審查 and uncovered裸露.
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內容原汁原味一刀未剪
08:58
Some people say I'm the first
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有人給我一個封號
09:00
stand-up站起來 comic滑稽 in the Arab阿拉伯 world世界.
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阿拉伯世界首位即興喜劇演員
09:02
I never like to claim要求 first,
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我很低調不喜歡自誇
09:04
but I do know that they never heard聽說
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不過我敢掛保證
09:06
that nasty討厭 little rumor謠言 that women婦女 aren't funny滑稽,
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觀眾一定不會覺得冷場
09:10
and they find us hysterical歇斯底里.
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他們還會讚許我們表演的幽默
09:15
In 2003, my brother哥哥 from another另一個 mother母親 and father父親
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2003年,我和情同手足的
換帖兄弟Dean Obeidallah一起
09:19
Dean院長 ObeidallahObeidallah and I started開始
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發起一個活動
09:21
the New York紐約 Arab-American阿拉伯裔美國人 Comedy喜劇 Festival,
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名為“紐約阿裔美人喜劇藝術節”
09:24
now in its 10th year.
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現在這個藝術節正要邁入第10年
09:25
Our goal目標 was to change更改 the negative image圖片
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我們想改變媒體對阿裔美國人
09:29
of Arab-Americans阿拉伯裔美國人 in media媒體,
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一貫的負面印象
09:31
while also reminding提醒 casting鑄件 directors董事
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也提醒選角的導演
09:34
that South Asian亞洲 and Arab阿拉伯 are not synonymous代名詞.
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別把南亞人和阿拉伯人畫上等號
09:37
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
09:40
Mainstreaming主流化 Arabs阿拉伯人 was much, much easier更輕鬆
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讓阿拉伯人融入主流社會易如反掌
09:45
than conquering征服 the challenge挑戰
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相較之下難如登天的是
09:47
against反對 the stigma柱頭 against反對 disability失能.
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消除對身障者的汙名化
09:50
My big break打破 came來了 in 2010.
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一個大好機會在2010年降臨
09:53
I was invited邀請 to be a guest客人
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我受邀擔任來賓
09:54
on the cable電纜 news新聞 show顯示
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上有線電視新聞節目錄影
09:56
"Countdown倒數 With Keith基思 OlbermannOlbermann."
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節目是“歐柏曼的關鍵時刻”
09:58
I walked in looking like I was going to the prom舞會,
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我興奮得像要去參加高中舞會
10:01
and they shuffle拖曳 me into a studio工作室
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工作人員把我拖進攝影棚
10:03
and seat座位 me on a spinning紡織, rolling壓延 chair椅子.
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給我一張搖來搖去的旋轉椅
10:08
So I looked看著 at the stage階段 manager經理 and I'm like,
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2619
我與場控人員面面相覷
10:11
"Excuse藉口 me, can I have another另一個 chair椅子?"
219
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2719
我說:“能給我換張椅子嗎?"
10:14
And she looked看著 at me and she went,
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1622
她看我一眼然後繼續讀秒
10:15
"Five, four, three, two ..."
221
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"5、4、3、2....."
10:18
And we were live生活, right?
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我沒忘記是現場錄影
10:20
So I had to grip onto the anchor's錨的 desk
223
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所以我一直緊抓主播檯
10:22
so that I wouldn't不會 roll off the
screen屏幕 during the segment分割,
224
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以免錄到一半就滑出去了
10:26
and when the interview訪問 was over, I was livid鐵青.
225
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訪談結束後我鐵青著臉
10:29
I had finally最後 gotten得到 my chance機會 and I blew自爆 it,
226
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1982
得來不易的機會被我糟蹋
10:31
and I knew知道 I would never get invited邀請 back.
227
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我想我再也沒機會受邀
10:34
But not only did Mr先生. OlbermannOlbermann invite邀請 me back,
228
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3174
但意外的是歐柏曼先生再次邀我
10:37
he made製作 me a full-time全職 contributor貢獻者,
229
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還讓我當常駐來賓
10:40
and he taped錄音 down my chair椅子.
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而且他有把我的椅子固定
10:43
(Laughter笑聲) (Applause掌聲)
231
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(笑聲加掌聲)
10:49
One fun開玩笑 fact事實 I learned學到了 while on the air空氣
232
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上歐柏曼先生的節目教我一件事
10:51
with Keith基思 OlbermannOlbermann
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我發現到
10:52
was that humans人類 on the Internet互聯網 are scumbags人渣.
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在網路世界的人類都是人渣
10:56
People say children孩子 are cruel殘忍,
235
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2228
許多人說童言童語很傷人
10:58
but I was never made製作 fun開玩笑 of as a child兒童 or an adult成人.
236
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但我從小到大都沒被人取笑過
11:02
Suddenly突然, my disability失能 on the
world世界 wide web捲筒紙 is fair公平 game遊戲.
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殘缺突然變成網路上的眾矢之的
11:05
I would look at clips剪輯 online線上
238
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2011
在節目的線上播映官網上
11:07
and see comments註釋 like,
239
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總會有謾罵
11:09
"Yo, why's為什麼是 she tweakintweakin?"
240
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"嘿,為甚麼她一直抽搐?"
11:12
"Yo, is she retarded智障?"
241
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2216
"嘿,她是腦殘嗎?"
11:14
And my favorite喜愛, "Poor較差的 Gumby-mouth古比口 terrorist恐怖分子.
242
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更絕的是"癟嘴恐怖分子
11:17
What does she suffer遭受 from?
243
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1674
她到底為何受苦?
11:19
We should really pray祈禱 for her."
244
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3614
我們真該幫她祈福。”
11:23
One commenter評論者 even suggested建議
245
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1829
還有更毒舌的評論
11:24
that I add my disability失能 to my credits學分:
246
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2785
建議我在經歷中加上一筆
11:27
screenwriter編劇, comedian喜劇演員, palsy麻痺.
247
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劇作家、喜劇演員、腦麻患者
11:32
Disability失能 is as visual視覺 as race種族.
248
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3327
殘疾和膚色都顯而易見
11:35
If a wheelchair輪椅 user用戶 can't play Beyonc碧昂斯é,
249
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2587
但天生我材必有用
11:38
then Beyonc碧昂斯é can't play a wheelchair輪椅 user用戶.
250
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3039
輪椅族難演好碧昂絲,反之亦然
11:41
The disabled are the largest最大
251
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2038
身障族群是目前最大的...
11:43
Yeah, clap for that, man. C'mon來吧.
252
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3011
對,你們該為這個比喻叫好!
11:46
(Applause掌聲)
253
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2849
(掌聲)
11:51
People with disabilities殘疾人 are the largest最大 minority少數民族
254
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身障族群是目前全球最大的弱勢群體
11:53
in the world世界, and we are the most underrepresented代表性不足
255
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我們是最被漠視的一群
11:56
in entertainment娛樂.
256
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在娛樂圈中也是如此
11:58
The doctors醫生 said that I wouldn't不會 walk步行,
257
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2219
醫生曾預言我一輩子不能走路
12:01
but I am here in front面前 of you.
258
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但我現在走在你們眼前
12:03
However然而, if I grew成長 up with social社會 media媒體,
259
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2187
不過要是我生在社群媒體時代
12:06
I don't think I would be.
260
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1971
我不覺得我仍可保有自信
12:08
I hope希望 that together一起
261
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1479
我盼望
12:09
we can create創建 more positive images圖片
262
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2575
社會大眾能攜手消除成見
12:12
of disability失能 in the media媒體 and in everyday每天 life.
263
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在媒體與生活中共創零歧視社會
12:15
Perhaps也許 if there were more positive images圖片,
264
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2377
或許有更多正面案例出現
12:18
it would foster培育 less hate討厭 on the Internet互聯網.
265
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就能減少網路上充滿憎恨的言論
12:21
Or maybe not.
266
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1594
但也可能適得其反
12:23
Maybe it still takes a village
267
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2013
或許仍舊需要多管齊下
12:25
to teach our children孩子 well.
268
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來教育孩子平等尊重的觀念
12:28
My crooked journey旅程 has taken採取 me
269
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回首我崎嶇的人生路
12:30
to some very spectacular壯觀 places地方.
270
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2200
有許多精彩絕倫的遭遇
12:32
I got to walk步行 the red carpet地毯
271
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我曾走過星光大道
12:35
flanked兩側 by soap肥皂 diva耍大牌 Susan蘇珊 Lucci盧奇
272
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2567
身旁是知名女星蘇珊·露西
12:38
and the iconic標誌性的 Lorraine洛林 Arbus阿勃絲.
273
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以及羅倫·阿爾布斯
12:40
I got to act法案 in a movie電影 with Adam亞當 Sandler桑德勒
274
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2661
我曾和影星亞當·山德勒一起演電影
12:42
and work with my idol偶像,
275
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還有幸跟我的偶像—
12:44
the amazing驚人 Dave戴夫 Matthews馬修斯.
276
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才子德夫·馬修斯一起工作
12:46
I toured參觀 the world世界 as a headliner頂篷
277
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我的足跡遍及世界各地
12:48
on Arabs阿拉伯人 Gone Wild野生.
278
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並以喜劇秀"阿拉伯也瘋狂"竄紅
12:50
I was a delegate代表
279
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2873
我還擔任過代表
12:53
representing代表 the great state of New Jersey新澤西
280
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代表紐澤西州
12:56
at the 2008 DNCDNC.
281
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2125
出席2008年民主黨總統提名大會
12:58
And I founded成立 Maysoon'sMaysoon的 Kids童裝,
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我創辦梅意森孩童基金會
13:00
a charity慈善機構 that hopes希望
283
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希望拋磚引玉
13:02
to give Palestinian巴勒斯坦的 refugee難民 children孩子
284
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幫助巴勒斯坦難民營的孩子
13:04
a sliver裂片 of the chance機會 my parents父母 gave me.
285
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開啟一扇機會之門
就如同我父母親替我做的一切
13:07
But the one moment時刻 that stands站立 out the most
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但我印象最深的關鍵時刻
13:10
was when I got -- before this moment時刻 --
287
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2525
是當我—我是說在這場演講前—
13:12
(Laughter笑聲) (Applause掌聲) —
288
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(笑聲加掌聲)
13:20
but the one moment時刻 that stands站立 out the most
289
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3436
但我印象最深的關鍵時刻
13:23
was when I got to perform演出
290
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是我能為一位名人表演
13:25
for the man who floats彩車 like a butterfly蝴蝶
291
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那人正是轟動武林驚動萬教
13:28
and stings蜇傷 like a bee蜜蜂,
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身手矯健無人能及
13:29
has Parkinson's帕金森氏 and shakes奶昔 just like me,
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罹患帕金森症抖個不停的
13:33
Muhammad穆罕默德 Ali阿里.
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傳奇拳王穆罕默德·阿里
13:35
(Applause掌聲)
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(掌聲)
13:43
It was the only time
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那是絕無僅有的一場演出
13:45
that my father父親 ever saw me perform演出 live生活,
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頭一次我爸到場看我表演
13:47
and I dedicate奉獻 this talk to his memory記憶.
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我想把這次演講獻給已故的他
13:51
(In Arabic阿拉伯)
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(阿拉伯語)
13:53
My name名稱 is MaysoonMaysoon Zayid扎耶德,
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我是梅意森·薩依德
13:56
and if I can can, you can can.
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如果我能扭轉逆境
你一定能絕處逢生
13:59
(Applause掌聲)
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(掌聲)
Translated by Wen Yuan Chen
Reviewed by Shiwen He

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Maysoon Zayid - Comedian and writer
Writer, actor, comedian, Maysoon Zayid is the co-founder of the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival.

Why you should listen

Early in her acting career, Maysoon Zayid realized she'd get a lot more stage time if she showed off how funny she was. As she told the BBC, "It became very obvious to me that in the United States of America, a fluffy ethnic disabled chick was never going to get a job unless she did stand-up."

A Palestinian woman from New Jersey, Zayid jokes about her family, global culture, and her life with cerebral palsy. Along with Dean Obeidallah, she founded the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival, now in its 10th year. She spends several months of the year in the Palestinian Territories running workshops for disabled and orphaned kids in refugee camps, using art to help them deal with trauma. And yes -- if you're an Adam Sandler fan, you'll recognize Zayid as the woman behind the beauty-shop counter in You Don't Mess With the Zohan.

More profile about the speaker
Maysoon Zayid | Speaker | TED.com