TEDxSydney
Nigel Marsh: How to make work-life balance work
奈吉尔马什：如何实现工作与生活的平衡
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奈吉尔马什认为，工作与生活的平衡因其重要性而决不能置之他人之手，比如你的雇主。在悉尼的TED大会上，马什勾勒出一幅美好图景：完美的一天建立在与家人相处，个人发展以及工作三者之间的平衡之上；进而他鼓励人们让这一理想变为现实。
Nigel Marsh - Author and marketer
Nigel Marsh presents and writes on business and personal life -- and how the two interact. He is the author of "Fat, Forty and Fired." Full bio
Nigel Marsh presents and writes on business and personal life -- and how the two interact. He is the author of "Fat, Forty and Fired." Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
What I thought I would do
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我原本想
00:17
is I would start with a simple request.
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以一个简单的请求开场。
00:20
I'd like all of you
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我请求在座的各位
00:22
to pause for a moment,
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思考片刻，
00:24
you wretched weaklings,
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你们这群可悲的懦夫，
00:26
and take stock of your miserable existence.
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扪心自问，审视一下自身可怜的存在。
00:29
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
00:33
Now that was the advice
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其实这正是
00:35
that St. Benedict gave his rather startled followers
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5世纪时圣本笃给信众的建议，
00:37
in the fifth century.
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可以想见，当时他们必定相当惊诧。
00:39
It was the advice that I decided to follow myself
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而在我40岁的时候
00:41
when I turned 40.
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我也决定采纳并实施这个建议。
00:44
Up until that moment, I had been that classic corporate warrior --
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在那之前，我绝对是个典型的业务精英——
00:47
I was eating too much, I was drinking too much,
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我吃的太多，喝得太多，
00:49
I was working too hard
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工作太努力，
00:51
and I was neglecting the family.
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我忽视了自己的家庭。
00:53
And I decided that I would try
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于是我决定
00:55
and turn my life around.
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试着改变我的生活。
00:57
In particular, I decided
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而且我决定
00:59
I would try to address the thorny issue
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我要尝试处理一个棘手的问题：
01:01
of work-life balance.
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即工作与生活的平衡。
01:04
So I stepped back from the workforce,
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于是我递交辞呈，
01:07
and I spent a year at home
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赋闲在家，
01:10
with my wife and four young children.
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与妻子和四个儿子相处了一年。
01:13
But all I learned about work-life balance
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但是在那一年中
01:15
from that year
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关于工作与生活平衡这个问题，我唯一的收获是：
01:17
was that I found it quite easy
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如果我不工作，
01:19
to balance work and life
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这个问题
01:21
when I didn't have any work.
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就会迎刃而解。
01:23
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
01:27
Not a very useful skill,
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这的确不怎么管用，
01:29
especially when the money runs out.
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尤其是缺钱的时候。
01:32
So I went back to work,
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所以我回到工作岗位，
01:34
and I've spent these seven years since
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七年以来
01:37
struggling with, studying
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我的挣扎，学习
01:40
and writing about work-life balance.
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与写作都围绕着工作与生活的平衡这个主题。
01:43
And I have four observations
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今天我想跟各位分享
01:45
I'd like to share with you today.
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四点心得。
01:47
The first is:
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第一，
01:49
if society's to make any progress on this issue,
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如果在这一问题上想要获得实质性的进展，
01:52
we need an honest debate.
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那么我们需要一个诚恳的探讨。
01:55
But the trouble is
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但问题是
01:57
so many people talk so much rubbish
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在这一问题上，
01:59
about work-life balance.
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人们大多沉浸在毫无意义的争论之中。
02:02
All the discussions about flexi-time
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无论是弹性时间
02:04
or dress-down Fridays
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还是星期五的休闲装政策
02:07
or paternity leave
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亦或是育儿假，
02:09
only serve to mask the core issue,
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这些都只是进一步掩盖了核心问题，
02:12
which is
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即
02:14
that certain job and career choices
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某些职业和某些职业选择
02:17
are fundamentally incompatible
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从根本上讲就与
02:20
with being meaningfully engaged
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每天与自己的家庭
02:22
on a day-to-day basis
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亲密相处
02:24
with a young family.
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这一生活方式水火不容。
02:28
Now the first step in solving any problem
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要解决任何问题，
02:30
is acknowledging the reality of the situation you're in.
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都必须首先认清自己所处的境况。
02:33
And the reality of the society that we're in
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而现实社会中的情况是
02:37
is there are thousands and thousands
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成千上万的
02:39
of people out there
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人们
02:41
leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation,
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都在无声的绝望中煎熬。
02:45
where they work long, hard hours
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他们夜以继日的
02:47
at jobs they hate
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从事他们痛恨的职业
02:49
to enable them to buy things they don't need
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目的只是为了购买无用的商品
02:51
to impress people they don't like.
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以博得无关痛痒的邻人的艳羡。
02:53
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
02:55
(Applause)
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（掌声）
02:58
It's my contention that going to work on Friday in jeans and [a] T-shirt
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我的观点是，星期五穿牛仔体恤
03:02
isn't really getting to the nub of the issue.
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并不能解决关键问题。
03:04
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
03:08
The second observation I'd like to make
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我想分享的第二点心得是
03:10
is we need to face the truth
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我们必须面对现实：
03:12
that governments and corporations
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政府和公司
03:14
aren't going to solve this issue for us.
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不会为我们解决这一问题。
03:17
We should stop looking outside.
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我们不能再寻找外援，
03:19
It's up to us as individuals
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而应该作为个人
03:21
to take control and responsibility
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承担起掌控
03:24
for the type of lives that we want to lead.
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自己生活轨迹的重任。
03:27
If you don't design your life,
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如果你不规划自己的生活，
03:29
someone else will design it for you,
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那么别人就会为你规划，
03:32
and you may just not like
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而他们对于平衡的处理
03:34
their idea of balance.
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你往往并不认同。
03:36
It's particularly important --
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最重要的是——
03:39
this isn't on the World Wide Web, is it? I'm about to get fired --
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这东西不会传到互联网上吧，要不然我可要被解雇了——
03:41
it's particularly important
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最重要的是
03:43
that you never put the quality of your life
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你绝不能让商业公司
03:46
in the hands of a commercial corporation.
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来掌控你生活的质量。
03:50
Now I'm not talking here just about the bad companies --
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我指的并不仅仅是那些糟糕的公司——
03:53
the "abattoirs of the human soul," as I call them.
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我把那些公司叫做人类灵魂的屠宰场。
03:56
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
03:58
I'm talking about all companies.
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我指的是所有的公司。
04:01
Because commercial companies
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因为商业公司
04:03
are inherently designed
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本质上就是为了
04:05
to get as much out of you [as]
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尽可能多的榨取你的价值
04:07
they can get away with.
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而同时尽量逃避责任。
04:09
It's in their nature; it's in their DNA;
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这是深植于商业公司之中的基因。
04:11
it's what they do --
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它们以此立足——
04:13
even the good, well-intentioned companies.
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包括那些好的，有善心的公司。
04:16
On the one hand,
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一方面，
04:18
putting childcare facilities in the workplace
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在工作场所开办儿童保育中心
04:20
is wonderful and enlightened.
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是个很妙的，具有启发性的好主意。
04:22
On the other hand, it's a nightmare --
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另一方面，这同时是个噩梦；
04:24
it just means you spend more time at the bloody office.
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因为这意味着你得在万恶的办公室里耗上更多时间。
04:29
We have to be responsible
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我们自己得担起责任
04:31
for setting and enforcing
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去设定并强化
04:33
the boundaries that we want in our life.
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我们生活中的各种界限。
04:37
The third observation is
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第三点是
04:39
we have to be careful
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我们得好好考虑
04:41
with the time frame that we choose
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以什么样的时间单位
04:44
upon which to judge our balance.
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来衡量我们试图实现的平衡。
04:48
Before I went back to work
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在一年赋闲时
04:50
after my year at home,
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就在我回到工作岗位之前，
04:52
I sat down
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我坐下来
04:54
and I wrote out
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细细地
04:56
a detailed, step-by-step description
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一步一步地勾勒了一幅
04:59
of the ideal balanced day
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我向往的完美一天的
05:02
that I aspired to.
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理想蓝图。
05:04
And it went like this:
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具体如下：
05:07
wake up well rested
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充足的睡眠之后，
05:09
after a good night's sleep.
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精神抖擞的醒来。
05:11
Have sex.
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做爱。
05:14
Walk the dog.
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遛狗。
05:16
Have breakfast with my wife and children.
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与妻儿共进早餐。
05:19
Have sex again.
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做爱。
05:21
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
05:24
Drive the kids to school on the way to the office.
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上班的途中送孩子去学校。
05:27
Do three hours' work.
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工作三小时。
05:29
Play a sport with a friend at lunchtime.
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午休时和朋友玩玩体育。
05:32
Do another three hours' work.
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再工作三小时。
05:34
Meet some mates in the pub for an early evening drink.
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下午和老伙计们在酒吧喝两杯。
05:38
Drive home for dinner
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回家，
05:40
with my wife and kids.
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与妻儿共进晚餐。
05:43
Meditate for half an hour.
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花半个小时静修思考。
05:46
Have sex.
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做爱。
05:48
Walk the dog. Have sex again.
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遛狗。做爱。
05:51
Go to bed.
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上床睡觉。
05:54
(Applause)
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（掌声）
05:59
How often do you think I have that day?
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你觉得我多久能享受如此的一天？
06:01
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
06:04
We need to be realistic.
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我们当然要实际一些。
06:06
You can't do it all in one day.
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你不可能在一天内实现这一切。
06:08
We need to elongate the time frame
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我们得把时间单位拉长
06:11
upon which we judge the balance in our life,
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来衡量我们期望的平衡，
06:13
but we need to elongate it
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但是这一拉长也不是没有限度的
06:15
without falling into the trap
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比如，你最好别说：
06:17
of the "I'll have a life when I retire,
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“我会享受生活的，当我退休了，
06:20
when my kids have left home,
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当子女也都独立，
06:22
when my wife has divorced me, my health is failing,
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当妻子已弃我而去，当我的身体大不如前，
06:25
I've got no mates or interests left."
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当我已没有朋友，也没有任何兴趣爱好。”
06:27
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
06:29
A day is too short; "after I retire" is too long.
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一天太短，退休又太长。
06:32
There's got to be a middle way.
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肯定会有折中的办法。
06:36
A fourth observation:
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第四点心得：
06:38
We need to approach balance
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要实现平衡，
06:40
in a balanced way.
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我们得采取“平衡”的办法。
06:43
A friend came to see me last year --
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去年我有个朋友来找我——
06:45
and she doesn't mind me telling this story -- a friend came to see me last year
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她不介意我公开这个故事——去年她来我这儿，
06:48
and said, "Nigel, I've read your book.
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她说：“奈吉尔，我看了你的书。
06:50
And I realize that my life is completely out of balance.
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我意识到我的生活完全没有平衡可言。
06:53
It's totally dominated by work.
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它完全被无休止的工作占据。
06:56
I work 10 hours a day; I commute two hours a day.
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我每天工作10小时，路上就要花2小时。
06:59
All of my relationships have failed.
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我的人际关系总是失败。
07:01
There's nothing in my life
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在我生活中
07:03
apart from my work.
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除了工作，没有别的。
07:05
So I've decided to get a grip and sort it out.
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所以我决定得振作起来改观我的生活。
07:08
So I joined a gym."
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于是我加入了健身俱乐部。”
07:10
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
07:13
Now I don't mean to mock,
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我不是要嘲笑她，
07:16
but being a fit 10-hour-a-day office rat
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但是一个“健康”的每天工作10小时的办公室职员
07:20
isn't more balanced; it's more fit.
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并不会让她更“平衡”，而只能更“健康”。
07:23
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
07:25
Lovely though physical exercise may be,
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健身运动的确是不错，
07:28
there are other parts to life --
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但生活的含义其实很丰富。
07:30
there's the intellectual side; there's the emotional side;
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知性生活，情感生活，
07:32
there's the spiritual side.
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精神生活。
07:34
And to be balanced,
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如果想达到平衡，
07:36
I believe we have to attend
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我觉得我们得
07:38
to all of those areas --
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关照以上的各个方面——
07:40
not just do 50 stomach crunches.
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仅仅50个仰卧起坐是不够的。
07:43
Now that can be daunting.
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这可能看起来相当艰巨。
07:45
Because people say, "Bloody hell mate, I haven't got time to get fit.
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人们会说：“拜托伙计，我连锻炼的时间都没有，
07:48
You want me to go to church and call my mother."
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你却要我去教堂、给老妈打电话。”
07:50
And I understand.
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我很理解。
07:52
I truly understand how that can be daunting.
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我真的很理解，对人们来说这的确挺艰巨。
07:55
But an incident that happened a couple of years ago
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但两年前有件小事
07:58
gave me a new perspective.
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却给了我一个崭新的视角。
08:00
My wife, who is somewhere in the audience today,
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我妻子就坐在下面
08:03
called me up at the office
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一天她给我的办公室打电话说
08:06
and said, "Nigel, you need to pick our youngest son" --
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“奈吉尔，你得去学校
08:09
Harry -- "up from school."
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接我们的小儿子哈里。”
08:11
Because she had to be somewhere else with the other three children for that evening.
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因为那天晚上她和其他三个孩子在一起。
08:14
So I left work an hour early that afternoon
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于是那天下午我提前一小时下班
08:17
and picked Harry up at the school gates.
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在校门口接到哈里。
08:21
We walked down to the local park,
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我们去了公园，
08:23
messed around on the swings, played some silly games.
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在秋千上闹了一阵，做了些傻傻的游戏。
08:26
I then walked him up the hill to the local cafe,
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然后我带他上了一座小山到了当地的一家咖啡馆，
08:29
and we shared a pizza for two,
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我们点了茶和比萨，
08:32
then walked down the hill to our home,
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吃完就下山回家，
08:34
and I gave him his bath
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我给他洗了个澡，
08:36
and put him in his Batman pajamas.
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给他穿上蝙蝠侠睡衣。
08:39
I then read him a chapter
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然后我给他读了一章
08:41
of Roald Dahl's "James and the Giant Peach."
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Roald Dahl的《詹姆斯与飞天巨桃》。
08:44
I then put him to bed, tucked him in,
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然后我铺好床，安顿好他，
08:46
gave him a kiss on his forehead and said, "Goodnight, mate,"
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吻了他的额头，说了声“晚安，伙计。”
08:48
and walked out of his bedroom.
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然后走出他的卧室。
08:50
As I was walking out of his bedroom,
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正当我走到门口的时候，
08:52
he said, "Dad?" I went, "Yes, mate?"
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他叫了声老爸。“什么事，伙计？”
08:55
He went, "Dad, this has been the best day
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他说，“老爸，这是我一生中
08:57
of my life, ever."
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最棒的一天，最棒的。”
09:02
I hadn't done anything,
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其实我什么也没做。
09:05
hadn't taken him to Disney World or bought him a Playstation.
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我没带他去迪斯尼乐园，也没给他买游戏机。
09:08
Now my point is
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我想说的是，
09:10
the small things matter.
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小事并非无关紧要。
09:13
Being more balanced
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在生活中实现平衡
09:15
doesn't mean dramatic upheaval in your life.
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并不意味着你要大张旗鼓的颠覆你的生活。
09:18
With the smallest investment
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在适当的地方
09:20
in the right places,
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做些小小的投资，
09:22
you can radically transform the quality of your relationships
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你就能极大地改善你的人际关系
09:25
and the quality of your life.
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和生活质量。
09:27
Moreover, I think,
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不仅如此，我认为
09:29
it can transform society.
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这还能改变整个社会。
09:32
Because if enough people do it,
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因为，如果很多人都如此生活，
09:34
we can change society's definition of success
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那么我们就可以重新对社会上的所谓“成功”进行定义：
09:37
away from the moronically simplistic notion
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成功不再是以死后财产的多少
09:40
that the person with the most money when he dies wins,
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来愚蠢地衡量；
09:44
to a more thoughtful and balanced definition
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成功应该有一个更具平衡性和思想性的定义，
09:47
of what a life well lived looks like.
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即一个美好的生活的实现。
09:51
And that, I think,
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我认为
09:53
is an idea worth spreading.
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这的确是一个值得与众人分享的点子。
09:55
(Applause)
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（掌声）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Nigel Marsh - Author and marketerNigel Marsh presents and writes on business and personal life -- and how the two interact. He is the author of "Fat, Forty and Fired."
Why you should listen
Nigel Marsh is the author of Fit, Fifty and Fired-Up, Fat, Forty and Fired and Overworked and Underlaid. He's the chairman of strategic research consultancy The Leading Edge and the co-founder of the energy-saving movement Earth Hour. Marsh also founded The Sydney Skinny.
More profile about the speakerNigel Marsh | Speaker | TED.com