ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Dessa - Rapper, singer and writer
Dessa is an internationally touring rapper, singer and writer who built a career by defying genre conventions and audience expectations.

Why you should listen

As a writer, Dessa has contributed to the New York Times, National Geographic Traveler and literary journals across the United States. As a musician, she's recorded critically acclaimed studio albums, co-composed for a 100-voice choir, collaborated with full orchestras and contributed to The Hamilton Mixtape on the invitation of Lin-Manuel Miranda. 

On stage and on the page, Dessa's work is driven by an interest in finding unexpected connections -- between heartache and neuroscience, aerodynamics and grief, or simply between two people who live far away and in disparate circumstances. Her delivery is crafted to balance wit and tenderness, intellectual rigor and a poetic sensibility.  

Dessa started out in Minneapolis, Minnesota as a member of the Doomtree hip-hop crew, a tight-knit group known for their explosive live shows, innovative sound and fiercely independent business model. For years, the seven-member crew shared stages, hotel rooms and head colds building an international following one sweaty show at a time. Dessa's work within the collective and as a solo artist earned several entries on the Billboard Top 200 charts (Chime, Parts of Speech and All Hands). Alone or with Doomtree, she's performed at Lollapalooza, Glastonbury, SXSW, velvet-lined theaters in LA and New York, punk venues in Central Europe, black box rooms from Tijuana to Beijing and once while standing on a wooden chair in South Africa. According to the LA Times, Dessa "sounds like no one else" and was called "a national treasure" by NPR's All Songs Considered.

Since her teenage years, however, Dessa wanted to become a published writer. So while recording and touring as a musician, she continued to write poetry, essays and short stories. Under the Doomtree banner, she began printing short books, some barely larger than a matchbook. In 2013, Doomtree Press published Spiral Bound, a collection of poetry and prose. In 2015, Dessa partnered with Rain Taxi on a poetry chapbook titled A Pound of Steam. On the strength of that collection, a New York literary agent telephoned; within a few years, Dutton Books (Penguin Random House) published her first book-length collection of essays, My Own Devices: True Stories from the Road on Music, Science, and Senseless Love, named one of the best books of 2018 by both NPR and Amazon. She also became a frequent radio contributor: on behalf of Minnesota Public Radio, she's interviewed best-selling authors in front of live audiences (most recently talking with Michael Pollan about his exploration into psychedelic drugs). At WNYC's The Greene Space, she served as Artist in Residence, designing a series called HEARTBREAKERS that investigated research on love, sex and determinism with both scientists and musicians.  

In recent years, Dessa partnered with the Grammy-winning Minnesota Orchestra to stage six sold-out performances at Minneapolis's Orchestra Hall (all arranged by composer/musician Andy Thompson and conducted by Sarah Hicks). The Minnesota Orchestra and Dessa cut a live record together in March of 2019, Sound the Bells: Recorded Live at Orchestra Hall, slated for release in November of 2019.

More profile about the speaker
Dessa | Speaker | TED.com
TEDxWanChai

Dessa: Can we choose to fall out of love?

Dessa: Se lahko odločimo, da se odljubimo?

Filmed:
2,063,007 views

Kako je najbolje preboleti strto srce? Raperka in pisateljica Dessa si je izmislila nekonvencionalen pristop, potem ko je po naključju videla TED govor Helen Fisher o možganih zaljubljenih. V ironično smešnem govoru opisuje, kako je sodelovala z nevroznanstvenico, da bi poskusila svoje možgane pripraviti do tega, da se odljubijo od njenega bivšega, in deli svojo modrost o ljubezni, ki jo je na tej poti pridobila.
- Rapper, singer and writer
Dessa is an internationally touring rapper, singer and writer who built a career by defying genre conventions and audience expectations. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
Hellozdravo, my nameime is DessaDESSA,
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Pozdravljeni. Moje ime je Dessa
00:14
and I'm a memberčlan of a hip-hophip-hop
collectivekolektiv calledpozval DoomtreeZdravilo doomtree.
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in sem članica hip-hop skupine
po imenu Doomtree.
00:18
I'm the one in the tankrezervoar topna vrh.
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Jaz sem tista v majčki.
00:20
(LaughterSmeh)
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(smeh)
00:22
And I make my livingživeti as a performingizvajati,
touringpotovanje rapperraper and singerpevka.
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Denar si služim kot raperka
in pevka na turnejah.
00:27
When we performopraviti as a collectivekolektiv,
this is what our showskaže look like.
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Ko nastopamo kot skupina,
naš šov zgleda takole.
00:30
I'm the one in the bootsčevlji.
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Jaz sem tista v škornjih.
00:32
There's a lot of jumpingskakanje.
There's a lot of sweatingpotenje.
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Veliko je skakanja, veliko znojenja.
00:35
It's loudglasno. It's very high-energyvisoke energetske.
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Glasno je, energično.
00:37
SometimesVčasih there are
unintentionalnenamerno bodytelo checkspregledi onstagena odru.
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Včasih pride na odru do nenamernih trkov.
00:40
SometimesVčasih there are completelypopolnoma
intentionalnamerno bodytelo checkspregledi onstagena odru.
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Včasih pride na odru do
popolnoma namernih trkov.
00:44
It's kindvrste of a hybridhibrid betweenmed
an intramuralnotranji hockeyhokej gameigro and a concertkoncert.
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Gre za neke vrste hibrid med
šolsko hokejsko tekmo in koncertom.
00:50
HoweverVendar, when I performopraviti
my ownlastno musicglasba as a solosolo artistumetnik,
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Ko pa izvajam lastno glasbo
kot solo umetnica,
00:53
I tendnagibati se to gravitategravitira towardsproti
more melancholyMelanholijo soundszvoki.
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gravitiram proti bolj melanholičnim zvokom.
00:56
A fewmalo yearslet agonazaj, I gavedala my mommama
the roughgrobo mixesmešanice of a newnovo albumalbum,
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Pred nekaj leti sem dala mami
grobo zmiksani novi album
01:00
and she said, "BabyOtroka, it's beautifullepo,
but why is it always so sadžalostno?"
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in rekla je: "Ljubica, prelepo je,
ampak zakaj je vedno tako žalostno?"
01:05
(LaughterSmeh)
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(smeh)
01:06
"You always make musicglasba to bleedkrvavitev out to."
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"Vedno delaš glasbo, ob kateri
človek izkrvavi."
01:09
And I thought, "Who are you hangingvisi
out with that you know that phrasefraza?"
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In pomislila sem: "S kom se družiš,
da poznaš to besedno zvezo?"
01:12
(LaughterSmeh)
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(smeh)
01:14
But over the courseseveda of my careerkariero,
I've writtennapisano so manyveliko sadžalostno love songspesmi
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A v svoji karieri sem napisala
toliko žalostnih ljubezenskih pesmi,
01:18
that I got messagessporočil like this from fansnavijači:
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da sem od oboževalcev dobivala
taka sporočila:
01:19
"ReleaseSprostitev newnovo musicglasba or a bookknjigo.
I need help with my breakuprazpadu."
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"Izdajte novo glasbo ali pa knjigo.
Rabim pomoč ob razpadu moje zveze."
01:22
(LaughterSmeh)
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(smeh)
01:26
And after performingizvajati and recordingsnemanje
and touringpotovanje those songspesmi for a long time,
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In po dolgem nastopanju in snemanju
in turnejah s temi pesmimi
01:30
I foundnajdemo myselfjaz in a positionpoložaj
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sem se znašla v položaju,
01:33
in whichki my professionalstrokovno nicheNišo
was essentiallyv bistvu romanticromantično devastationopustošenja.
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v katerem je bila moja profesionalna
niša v bistvu romantični obup.
01:39
What I hadn'tni been publicjavnost about, howeverVendar,
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Vendar pa v javnosti nisem povedala,
01:41
was the factdejstvo that mostnajbolj of these songspesmi
had been writtennapisano about the sameenako guy.
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da sem večino teh pesmi
napisala o istem tipu.
01:45
And for two yearslet, we triedposkušal
to sortRazvrsti ourselvessami out,
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In dve leti sem se skušala pobrati
01:49
and then for fivepet
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in potem pet
01:51
and on and off for 10.
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in po malem deset.
01:53
And I was not only heartbrokenSkrhana srca,
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In nisem imela le strtega srca,
01:56
but I was kindvrste of embarrassednerodno
that I couldn'tni mogel reboundodmik
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ampak mi je bilo tudi malo nerodno,
da se ne morem pobrati
02:00
from what other people seemedzdelo se mi je
to recoveropomore from so regularlyredno.
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od nečesa, kar ljudem očitno redno uspe.
02:06
And even thoughčeprav I knewvedel
it wasn'tni bilo doing eitherbodisi of us any good,
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In čeprav sem vedela, da nobenemu
od naju to ne koristi,
02:09
I just couldn'tni mogel figureštevilka out
how to put the love down.
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nisem mogla ugotoviti,
kako naj pozabim ljubezen.
02:15
Then, drinkingpitje whitebela winevino one night,
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Potem sem neke noči ob belem vinu
02:17
I saw a TEDTED Talk by a womanženska
namedimenovan DrDr. HelenHelen FisherFisher,
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videla TED govor neke ženske
po imenu dr. Helen Fisher,
02:20
and she said that in her work, she'dona bi
been ablesposoben to mapzemljevid the coordinateskoordinate of love
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ki je rekla, da ji je pri njenem delu
uspelo zarisati koordinate ljubezni
02:25
in the humančlovek brainmožganov.
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v človeških možganih.
02:26
And I thought, well,
if I could find my love in my brainmožganov,
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In pomislila sem, dobro, če bi
lahko v svojih možganih našla ljubezen,
02:30
maybe I could get it out.
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bi jo morda lahko dobila ven.
02:32
So I wentšla to TwitterCvrkutati.
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In sem šla na Twitter.
02:34
"AnybodyVsakdo got accessdostop to an fMRIfMRI lablaboratorij,
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Ima kdo dostop do fMRI laboratorija,
02:36
like at midnightpolnoči or something?
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recimo opolnoči ali kaj takega?
02:37
I'll tradetrgovino for backstagezakulisje
passesprehodi and whiskeyviski."
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Zamenjam za VIP karte in viski.
02:40
(LaughterSmeh)
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(smeh)
02:42
And that's DrDr. CherylCheryl OlmanOlman,
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In tole je dr. Cheryl Olman,
02:43
who worksdela at the UniversityUniverza of Minnesota'sMinnesota je
CenterCenter for MagneticMagnetno ResonanceResonance ResearchRaziskave.
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ki dela na Centru za raziskave z magnetno
resonanco na univerzi v Minnesoti.
02:47
She tookvzel me up on it.
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Prijela me je za besedo.
02:49
I explainedpojasnil DrDr. Fisher'sFisher ' s protocolprotokol,
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Razložila sem ji protokol dr. Fisherjeve
02:52
and we decidedodločil to recreateponovno it
with a samplevzorec sizevelikost of one, me.
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in odločili sva se poustvariti ga
na enem samem primerku, meni.
02:56
(LaughterSmeh)
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(smeh)
02:57
So I got deckedDecked out in a pairpar
of forestgozd greenzelena scrubsGrmišča,
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Tako so me zavili v zelena
bolnišnična oblačila
03:03
and I was laidpoložen on a gurneyGurney
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in me polegli na voziček
03:05
and wheeledna kolesih into an fMRIfMRI machinestroj.
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ter me odpeljali v fMRI stroj.
03:07
If you're unfamiliarne poznajo with that technologytehnologijo,
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Če ne poznate te tehnologije,
03:09
essentiallyv bistvu, an fMRIfMRI machinestroj
is a bigvelik, tubularCevasto magnetmagnet
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je fMRI stroj v bistvu velik,
cevast magnet,
03:12
that tracksskladbe the progressnapredek
of deoxygenateddeoksidirana ironželezo in your bloodkri.
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ki spremlja pot deoksidiranega
železa v vaši krvi.
03:17
So it's essentiallyv bistvu figuringfiguring out
what partsdeli of your brainmožganov
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V bistvu ugotavlja, kateri deli
vaših možganov
03:19
are makingizdelavo the biggestnajvečji metabolicpresnove demandpovpraševanje
at any givendan momenttrenutek.
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imajo v nekem trenutku največjo
metabolno zahtevo.
03:22
And in that way, it can figureštevilka out
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Na ta način lahko ugotovi,
03:24
whichki structuresstrukture
are associatedpovezan with a tasknaloga,
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katere strukture so povezane
z neko nalogo;
03:26
like tappingtapping your fingerprst, for exampleprimer,
will always lightsvetloba up the sameenako regionregija,
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tapkanje s prsti bo na primer
vedno osvetlilo isto območje,
03:30
or in my caseprimera,
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v mojem primeru pa
03:31
looking at picturesslike of your ex-boyfriendbivši fant
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gledanje slik mojega bivšega fanta
03:34
and then looking at picturesslike of a dudestari
who just sortRazvrsti of resembledPodoben my ex-boyfriendbivši fant
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in potem gledanje slik tipa, ki mu
je na nek način podoben,
03:38
but for whomkoga I had no strongmočno feelingsčustva.
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a do njega nimam močnih čustev.
03:40
He was the controlnadzor.
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On je bil kontrola.
03:41
(LaughterSmeh)
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(smeh)
03:43
And when I left the machinestroj,
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In ko sem prišla iz stroja,
03:45
we had these really
high-resolutionvisoka ločljivost imagesslike of my brainmožganov.
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smo imeli res dobre slike mojih možganov.
03:50
We could cleaveCepila the two halvespolovice apartRazen.
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Dobro smo lahko ločili obe polovici.
03:53
We could inflatenapihne the cortexkorteks to see
insideznotraj all of the wrinklesgube, essentiallyv bistvu,
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Lahko smo povečali korteks, da bi
videli v vse gube
03:59
in a viewpogled that DrDr. CherylCheryl OlmanOlman
calledpozval the "brainmožganov skinkoža rugpreprogo."
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na način, ki ga je dr. Cheryl Olman
imenovala 'možganska kožna preproga'.
04:02
(LaughterSmeh)
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(smeh)
04:04
And we could see how my brainmožganov had behavedObnašal
when I lookedpogledal at imagesslike of bothoboje menmoški.
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Videli smo lahko, kako se moji možgani
obnašajo, ko gledam slike obeh moških.
04:11
And this was importantpomembno.
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In to je bilo pomembno.
04:12
We could tracksledi all of the activitydejavnost
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Lahko smo sledili vsej aktivnosti,
04:15
when I lookedpogledal at the controlnadzor
and when I lookedpogledal at my exex,
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ko sem gledala kontrolo
in ko sem gledala svojega bivšega,
04:18
and it was in comparingprimerjava these datapodatkov setssklopov
that we'dBili bi be ablesposoben to find the love alonesam,
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in s primerjavo teh podatkov
smo lahko našli ljubezen samo
04:22
in the sameenako way that, if I were
to stepkorak on a scaleobsega fullyv celoti dressedoblečen
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na enak način, kot če bi oblečena
stopila na tehtnico,
04:26
and then stepkorak on it again nakedgola,
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potem pa še enkrat gola,
04:29
the differenceRazlika betweenmed those numbersštevilke
would be the weighttežo of my clothingoblačila.
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bi razlika med tema številkama
bila teža mojih oblačil.
04:32
So when we did that datapodatkov comparisonprimerjava,
we subtractedodšteti one from the other,
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Ko smo torej primerjali podatke,
smo eno odšteli od drugega
04:36
we foundnajdemo activitydejavnost in exactlytočno the regionsregije
that DrDr. FisherFisher would have predictednapovedano.
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in našli aktivnost točno v predelih,
ki jih je dr. Fisherjeva prej napovedala.
04:42
That's me.
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To sem jaz.
04:44
And that's my brainmožganov in love.
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In to so moji zaljubljeni možgani.
04:47
There was activitydejavnost in that little
orangeoranžna dotdot, the ventralventralni tegmentaltegmental areaobmočje,
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Aktivnost se vidi v mali oranžni
točki, v ventralno tegmentalnem območju,
04:50
that kindvrste of loopzanke of redrdeča
is the anteriorsprednjega cingulatecingulusne
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tista rdeča zanka je anteriorna
cingulatna skorja
04:54
and that goldenzlato setnastavite of hornsrogovi
is the caudateskaudati.
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in tisti par zlatih rogov sta kavdata.
04:59
After she had had time to analyzeanalizirati
the datapodatkov with her teamekipa
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Ko je utegnila analizirati
podatke s svojo ekipo
05:02
and a couplepar of partnerspartnerjev, AndreaAndrea and PhilPhil,
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in dvema partnerjema, Andreo in Philom,
05:04
CherylCheryl sentposlano me an imagesliko, a singlesamski slidezdrs.
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mi je Cheryl poslala sliko,
en sam diapozitiv.
05:08
It was my brainmožganov in crosskriž sectionoddelek,
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Na njem so bili moji možgani v prerezu
05:11
with one brightsvetlo dotdot of activitydejavnost
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z eno živahno točko aktivnosti,
05:13
that representedpredstavlja
my feelingsčustva for this dudestari.
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ki je predstavljala moja
čustva do tega tipa.
05:18
And I'd knownznano I was in love,
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Vedela sem, da sem zaljubljena,
05:20
and that's the wholeceloto reasonrazlog
I was going to these outrageousnezaslišano lengthsdolžine.
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in to je edini razlog, zakaj
sem se lotila vsega tega.
05:23
But havingimeti an imagesliko that proveddokazano it
feltčutil like suchtako a vindicationOpravdanje,
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A slika kot dokaz tega je pomenila
tako utemeljitev,
05:28
like, "Yeah, it's all in my headglava,
but now I know exactlytočno where."
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kot: "Ja, vse je v moji glavi,
a zdaj vem, kje točno."
05:31
(LaughterSmeh)
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(smeh)
05:35
And I alsotudi feltčutil like an assassinMorilec
who had her markoznačite.
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Hkrati sem se počutila kot atentator,
ki ima svojo tarčo.
05:39
That was what I had to annihilateuničiti.
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To je tisto, kar moram premagati.
05:42
So I decidedodločil to embarkstopijo
on a courseseveda of treatmentzdravljenje
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Zato sem se odločila za serijo tretmajev,
05:46
calledpozval "neurofeedbacknevropovratni odziv."
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ki se imenuje 'nevro feedback'.
05:49
I workeddelal with a womanženska namedimenovan
PenijeanPenijean GracefireLjubek požar,
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Delala sem z žensko po imenu
Penijean Gracefire,
05:52
and she explainedpojasnil that what we'dBili bi be doing
was trainingusposabljanje my brainmožganov.
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ki mi je razložila, da bova trenirali
moje možgane.
05:56
We're not lobotomizinglobotomizirati anything.
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Ničesar ne bova lobotomizirali.
05:58
We're trainingusposabljanje it in the way
that we would trainvlak a musclemišice,
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Trenirali jih bova tako,
kot bi trenirali mišico,
06:01
so that it would be flexibleprilagodljiv enoughdovolj
and resilientprožno enoughdovolj
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da bodo dovolj fleksibilni in odporni,
06:04
to respondodgovoriti appropriatelyustrezno
to my circumstancesokoliščin.
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da se bodo ustrezno odzvali
na mojo situacijo.
06:07
So when we're on the treadmillDirinčenje,
we would anticipatepričakujte
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Ko smo recimo na tekalni stezi,
pričakujemo,
06:10
that our heartsrce would beatpremagati and poundfunt,
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da nam bo srce močno bilo,
06:13
and when we're asleepspati,
we would askvprašajte that that musclemišice slowpočasi.
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ko spimo, pa želimo,
da se ta mišica upočasni.
06:17
SimilarlyPodobno, when I'm in a long-termdolgoročno,
viableizvedljivo, lovingljubezni romanticromantično relationshiprazmerje,
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Podobno, ko sem v dolgem, uspešnem,
ljubečem romantičnem razmerju,
06:21
the emotionalčustveno centerscentri
of my brainmožganov should engagesodelovati,
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se morajo moji čustveni centri angažirati,
06:24
and when I'm not in a long-termdolgoročno,
viableizvedljivo, emotionalčustveno, lovingljubezni relationshiprazmerje,
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ko pa nisem v dolgem, uspešnem,
ljubečem romantičnem razmerju,
06:28
they should eventuallysčasoma chillChill out.
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pa bi se morali počasi umiriti.
06:32
So she cameprišel over with a setnastavite of electrodeselektrode
just smallermanjši than a dimeiDime
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Tako se je pojavila s kompletom
elektrod, majhnih kot kovanec za 5 centov,
06:37
that were sensitiveobčutljivo enoughdovolj
to detectodkriti my brainwavesmožganskih valov
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in dovolj občutljive, da so zaznale
moje možganske valove,
06:39
throughskozi my bonekosti and hairlasje and scalplasišče.
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skozi moje kosti in lase in skalp.
06:42
And when she riggedopremljeni me up,
I could see my brainmožganov workingdelo in realresnično time.
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In ko me je opremila, sem lahko
videla možgane delovati v resničnem času.
06:49
And in anotherdrugo viewpogled that she showedpokazala me,
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V nekem drugem pogledu
06:51
I could see exactlytočno whichki partsdeli
of my brainmožganov were hyperactiveHiperaktivni,
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sem lahko točno videla, kateri deli
mojih možganov so bili hiperaktivni;
06:55
here displayedprikazano in redrdeča;
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tu so prikazani z rdečo.
06:56
hypoactivemotnje hipoaktivne, here displayedprikazano in bluemodra;
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Hipoaktivni so tu prikazani z modro,
06:58
and the healthyzdravo thresholdprag of behaviorvedenje,
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zdrava mejna vrednost vedenja,
07:01
the greenzelena zoneobmočje, the GoldilocksZlatolaska zoneobmočje,
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zeleno območje, območje Zlatolaske,
07:04
whichki is where I wanted to go.
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ki je, kjer sem želela biti.
07:05
And we can, in factdejstvo, isolateizolirati
just those partsdeli of my brainmožganov
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In dejansko lahko izoliramo
samo tiste dele mojih možganov,
07:08
that were associatedpovezan
with the romanticromantično regulationureditev
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ki so povezani z romantično regulacijo,
07:11
that we'dBili bi identifiedidentificirana in the FisherFisher studyštudija.
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ki smo jo identificirali
v Fisherjevi študiji.
07:14
So PenijeanPenijean, severalveč timeskrat,
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Tako me je Penijean nekajkrat
07:19
hookedzasvojen me up with all her electrodeselektrode,
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povezala s svojimi elektrodami
07:22
and she explainedpojasnil that I didn't
have to do or think anything.
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in mi razložila, da mi ni treba
nič narediti in nič misliti.
07:25
I just essentiallyv bistvu
had to holddržite prettylepa still
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V bistvu sem morala samo biti mirna
07:28
and stayostani awakebuden
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in ostati budna
07:30
and watch.
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in gledati.
07:33
(HarpHarfo and vibraphonevibrafon soundszvoki playigraj)
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(zvoki harfe in vibrafona)
07:37
So I did.
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In sem.
07:39
And everyvsak time my brainmožganov operatedupravljali
in that healthyzdravo thresholdprag,
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Vsakič, ko so moji možgani
operirali v zdravi mejni vrednosti,
07:42
I got a little runteči of harpharfa
or vibraphonevibrafon musicglasba.
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sem slišala glasbo harfe ali vibrafona.
07:48
And I just watchedgledal my brainmožganov rotatevrtite
at roughlygrobo the speedhitrost of a gyroŽiro machinestroj
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Gledala sem, kako moji možgani
rotirajo s hitrostjo, podobno hitrosti
07:52
on my dad'sOče flat-screenravnim zaslonom TVTV.
145
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1918
tuljave v televizorju mojega očeta.
07:55
And that was counterintuitivecounterintuitive.
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In bilo je v nasprotju z intuicijo.
07:57
She said the learningučenje would be
essentiallyv bistvu unconsciousnezavesten.
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Rekla mi je, da bo učenje
v bistvu nezavedno.
07:59
But then I thought about
the other things I had learnednaučili
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Nato pa sem pomislila na vse drugo,
česar sem se naučila,
08:02
withoutbrez activelyaktivno engagingprivlačen
my consciouszavestno mindum.
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ne da bi aktivno uporabljala svojo zavest.
08:04
When you ridevožnja a bikekolo,
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Ko vozim kolo,
08:06
I don't really know what, like,
my left calftele musclemišice is doing,
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ne vem zares, kaj počnejo moja leva meča
08:10
or how my latissimusširoka dorsidorsi knowsve
to engagesodelovati when I wobblevalovanje to the right.
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ali kako moja hrbtna mišica ve,
da naj ukrepa, ko se zamajam v desno.
08:13
The bodytelo just learnsuči.
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1200
Telo se samo uči.
08:15
And similarlypodobno, Pavlov'sPavlov ' s dogspsi probablyverjetno
don't know a lot about, like,
154
483116
4117
In podobno Pavlovi psi verjetno
niso vedeli veliko o, recimo,
08:19
proteinbeljakovine structuresstrukture
or the waveformValovno of a ringingzvonjenje bellzvonec,
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proteinskih strukturah
ali obliki valovanja zvoncev,
08:23
but they salivateLučiti pljuvačku nonethelesskljub temu
because the bodytelo pairedSeznanjene the stimulidražljaje.
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a so se kljub temu slinili,
ker je telo reagiralo na spodbude.
08:27
FinishedKončal the sessionsseje,
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Končala sem seanse,
08:29
wentšla back to DrDr. CherylCheryl
Olman'sOlmanova fMRIfMRI machinestroj,
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se vrnila k fMRI stroju dr. Olmanove
08:33
and we repeatedponovi the protocolprotokol,
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in ponovili sva postopek.
08:34
the sameenako imagesslike --
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Iste slike
08:36
of the exex, of the controlnadzor and,
in the interestinteres of scientificznanstveni rigorstrogost,
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bivšega in kontrole
in v interesu znanstvene doslednosti
08:40
CherylCheryl and her teamekipa
didn't know who was who,
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2231
Cheryl in njen tim niso vedeli,
kdo je kdo,
08:43
so that they couldn'tni mogel
influencevpliva the resultsrezultate.
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tako da ne bi mogli vplivati
na rezultate.
08:47
And after she had time
to analyzeanalizirati that seconddrugič setnastavite of datapodatkov,
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In ko je imela čas analizirati drugi
nabor podatkov,
08:51
she sentposlano me that imagesliko.
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mi je poslala tole sliko.
08:53
She said,
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Rekla je:
08:55
"DudeStari A'sA dominanceprevlado of your brainmožganov
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"Izgleda, kot da je dominanca tipa A
08:58
seemsZdi se to essentiallyv bistvu have been eradicatedizkoreninjen.
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v tvojih možganih izbrisana.
09:00
I think this is the desiredželeno resultrezultat,"
commaVejico, yes, questionvprašanje markoznačite.
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Mislim, da je to željeni rezultat,"
vejica, "ja?", vprašaj.
09:04
(LaughterSmeh)
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(smeh)
09:07
And that was the exactlytočno
the desiredželeno resultrezultat.
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In točno to je bil željeni rezultat.
09:10
And finallykončno, I alloweddovoljeno myselfjaz
a momenttrenutek to introspectPreispitivati,
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Končno sem si dovolila
trenutek, da sem se zazrla sama vase,
09:13
like, how did I feel?
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češ kako se počutim.
09:17
And in one way, it feltčutil like
174
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1699
Na nek način sem se počutila,
09:20
it was the sameenako inventorypopis of feelingsčustva
that I'd had at the outsetZačetku.
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3692
kot da imam isti nabor čustev,
ki sem jih imela na začetku.
09:24
This isn't "EternalVečno SunshineSonca
of the SpotlessBrezmadežnega MindUm."
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To ni Večno sonce brezmadežnega uma.
09:26
The dudestari wasn'tni bilo a strangertujec.
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Tip ni bil tujec.
09:28
But I'd had love and jealousyljubosumje
and amityamity and attractionatrakcija and respectspoštovanje
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A imela sem ljubezen in ljubosumje,
prijateljstvo, privlačnost in spoštovanje
09:35
and all those complicatedzapleteno feelingsčustva
that you amassZgrtati after long-termdolgoročno love.
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in vsa tista zakomplicirana čustva,
ki se nakopičijo po dolgotrajni ljubezni.
09:40
But it feltčutil like the benevolentprijazno feelingsčustva
had risenpovečalo to the surfacepovršina,
180
568396
5359
A občutila sem, da so se na površino
dvignila dobrohotna čustva
09:46
and the feelingsčustva of fixationPosnetek
and the less-generousmanj radodaren feelingsčustva
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in čustva obsedenosti
in manj prijazna čustva
09:52
weren'tni bilo quitečisto so presentprisotni.
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niso bila več tako prisotna.
09:54
And that soundszvoki like
a smallmajhna thing in some way,
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In to na nek način zveni malo,
09:56
this resequencingresekvenciranje of feelingsčustva,
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to spremenjeno zaporedje čustev,
09:58
but to me it feltčutil like the biggestnajvečji thing.
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a zame je bilo največ.
10:00
Like, if I told you,
186
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1778
Kot če bi vam rekla:
10:02
"I'm going to anesthetizeAnestezirati you,
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2000
"Anestetizirala vas bom
10:04
and I'm alsotudi going to take out
your wisdommodrost teethzobje,"
188
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2626
in vam izpulila modrostne zobe."
10:07
it would really matterzadevo to you the sequencezaporedje
in whichki I did those two things.
189
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Zaporedje, v katerem bom opravila
ti dve stvari, bi bilo res pomembno.
10:10
(LaughterSmeh)
190
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(smeh)
10:14
And I alsotudi feltčutil like
191
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1878
In počutila sem se tudi,
10:16
I'd had this really unusualnenavadno
philosophicalfilozofsko privilegeprivilegij
192
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kot da imam ta res nenavadni
filozofski privilegij,
10:20
to understandrazumeti love.
193
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kako razumeti ljubezen.
10:24
The lablaboratorij offeredponujen to 3D-printD-tisk my caudatecaudatus.
194
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Laboratorij mi je ponudil, da bo
moj kavdat natisnil s 3D tiskalnikom.
10:29
I got to holddržite love in my handroka.
195
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2073
Ljubezen sem lahko držala v roki.
10:31
(LaughterSmeh)
196
619455
1367
(smeh)
10:33
And then I bronzedBronzan it,
197
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1167
Dala sem ga vliti v bron
10:34
and I madeizdelane it into a necklaceogrlica and soldprodano
it at the merchMerch tablemizo at my showskaže.
198
622392
3471
in ga predelala v ogrlico in jo prodajala
na svojih nastopih.
10:37
(LaughterSmeh)
199
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2782
(smeh)
10:40
(ApplauseAplavz)
200
628693
6347
(aplavz)
10:47
And then, with the help of a couplepar
of friendsprijatelji back in MinneapolisMinneapolis,
201
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3664
In potem sem s pomočjo dveh
prijateljic iz Minneapolisa,
10:51
one of them BeckyBecky,
202
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ena od njiju je Becky,
10:53
we madeizdelane an enormousogromno discoDisco ballžoga of it --
203
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2571
iz njega naredila ogromno disko kroglo,
10:55
(LaughterSmeh)
204
643783
1464
(smeh)
10:57
that could descendspustimo
from the ceilingstrop at my bigvelik showskaže.
205
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ki se je spustila s stropa
na mojih velikih nastopih.
11:01
And I feltčutil like I'd had the opportunitypriložnost
to better understandrazumeti love,
206
649057
3948
In čutila sem, da sem dobila
priložnost bolje razumeti ljubezen,
11:05
even the compulsiveKompulzivno partsdeli.
207
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celo kompulzivne dele.
11:09
It isn't a neatlepo, symmetricalsimetrična
Valentine'sValentinovo heartsrce.
208
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To ni čedno, simetrično Valentinovo srce.
11:12
It's bodilytelesno, it's systemicsistemsko,
209
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2134
Je telesno, sistemsko,
11:15
it is a hideousodvraten pairpar of ram'soven ' s hornsrogovi
buriedpokopan somewherenekje deepgloboko withinznotraj your skulllobanja,
210
663118
4996
je grd par ovnovih rogov,
pokopan nekje globoko v tvoji lobanji
11:20
and when that specialposeben boyfant walkssprehodi by,
211
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in ko pride mimo tisti posebni fant,
11:22
it lightsluči up,
212
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se osvetli,
11:23
and if he likesVšeč mi je you back
and you make eachvsak other happyvesel,
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in če si mu tudi ti všeč
in drug drugega osrečujeta,
11:26
then you fanventilator the flamesplameni.
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potem podpihuješ plamene.
11:28
And if he doesn't,
215
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Če pa ne,
11:29
then you assemblezbrati a teamekipa
of neuroscientistsNevroznanstveniki
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potem zbereš tim nevroznanstvenikov,
11:32
to snuffSnuff them out by forcesila.
217
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da jih izbriseš na silo.
11:33
(LaughterSmeh)
218
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(smeh)
11:35
Thankshvala.
219
683641
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Hvala.
11:36
(ApplauseAplavz)
220
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2505
(aplavz)
Translated by Polona Ramšak
Reviewed by Klavdija Cernilogar

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Dessa - Rapper, singer and writer
Dessa is an internationally touring rapper, singer and writer who built a career by defying genre conventions and audience expectations.

Why you should listen

As a writer, Dessa has contributed to the New York Times, National Geographic Traveler and literary journals across the United States. As a musician, she's recorded critically acclaimed studio albums, co-composed for a 100-voice choir, collaborated with full orchestras and contributed to The Hamilton Mixtape on the invitation of Lin-Manuel Miranda. 

On stage and on the page, Dessa's work is driven by an interest in finding unexpected connections -- between heartache and neuroscience, aerodynamics and grief, or simply between two people who live far away and in disparate circumstances. Her delivery is crafted to balance wit and tenderness, intellectual rigor and a poetic sensibility.  

Dessa started out in Minneapolis, Minnesota as a member of the Doomtree hip-hop crew, a tight-knit group known for their explosive live shows, innovative sound and fiercely independent business model. For years, the seven-member crew shared stages, hotel rooms and head colds building an international following one sweaty show at a time. Dessa's work within the collective and as a solo artist earned several entries on the Billboard Top 200 charts (Chime, Parts of Speech and All Hands). Alone or with Doomtree, she's performed at Lollapalooza, Glastonbury, SXSW, velvet-lined theaters in LA and New York, punk venues in Central Europe, black box rooms from Tijuana to Beijing and once while standing on a wooden chair in South Africa. According to the LA Times, Dessa "sounds like no one else" and was called "a national treasure" by NPR's All Songs Considered.

Since her teenage years, however, Dessa wanted to become a published writer. So while recording and touring as a musician, she continued to write poetry, essays and short stories. Under the Doomtree banner, she began printing short books, some barely larger than a matchbook. In 2013, Doomtree Press published Spiral Bound, a collection of poetry and prose. In 2015, Dessa partnered with Rain Taxi on a poetry chapbook titled A Pound of Steam. On the strength of that collection, a New York literary agent telephoned; within a few years, Dutton Books (Penguin Random House) published her first book-length collection of essays, My Own Devices: True Stories from the Road on Music, Science, and Senseless Love, named one of the best books of 2018 by both NPR and Amazon. She also became a frequent radio contributor: on behalf of Minnesota Public Radio, she's interviewed best-selling authors in front of live audiences (most recently talking with Michael Pollan about his exploration into psychedelic drugs). At WNYC's The Greene Space, she served as Artist in Residence, designing a series called HEARTBREAKERS that investigated research on love, sex and determinism with both scientists and musicians.  

In recent years, Dessa partnered with the Grammy-winning Minnesota Orchestra to stage six sold-out performances at Minneapolis's Orchestra Hall (all arranged by composer/musician Andy Thompson and conducted by Sarah Hicks). The Minnesota Orchestra and Dessa cut a live record together in March of 2019, Sound the Bells: Recorded Live at Orchestra Hall, slated for release in November of 2019.

More profile about the speaker
Dessa | Speaker | TED.com