TED Salon Doha Debates
Steven Petrow: 3 ways to practice civility
史蒂文·佩卓: 三個實踐公民素養的方法
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公民素養是指什麼呢？ 記者史蒂文·佩卓尋找這個詞的原始含義，說明為什麼公民素養不應被視為對話 - 令人窒息的政治正確性或審查制度。 了解我們每個人都可實踐更有公民素養的三種方式，並在相互尊重的前提下開始談論我們的差異。
Steven Petrow - Journalist, author
Journalist Steven Petrow writes about manners and civility. Full bio
Journalist Steven Petrow writes about manners and civility. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I want to start by telling you
two things about myself
two things about myself
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我想先分享兩件關於我的事，
00:15
before I get into the full talk.
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在我進入完整演說之前。
00:18
And the first is that I've been writing
about manners and civility
about manners and civility
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第一，我寫關於
禮儀和公民素養的文章，
禮儀和公民素養的文章，
00:21
for more than 20 years,
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超過二十年，
00:22
as a book author
and as a magazine columnist.
and as a magazine columnist.
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我是作家也寫雜誌專欄。
00:25
The second is,
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第二，
00:27
my friends know to be very wary
of inviting me over for dinner
of inviting me over for dinner
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我的朋友都知道，若要邀請我
去吃晚餐，就得要非常謹慎，
去吃晚餐，就得要非常謹慎，
00:32
because any faux pas
that happens at the table
that happens at the table
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因為飯桌上若有
任何失禮的狀況發生，
任何失禮的狀況發生，
00:34
is likely to wind up in print.
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很可能會成為我的寫作題材。
00:36
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
00:37
So, I'm watching, I can see back there
and I can see through the portals, too.
and I can see through the portals, too.
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所以，我一直在觀察，
我看得到後排座位也看得到門口。
我看得到後排座位也看得到門口。
00:41
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
00:43
So, speaking of dinner parties,
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說到晚宴，
00:45
I want to take you back to 2015
and a dinner party that I went to.
and a dinner party that I went to.
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我想要帶大家回到 2015 年，
我參加的一場晚宴。
我參加的一場晚宴。
00:51
To place this in time,
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這件事情的時間點，
00:53
this was when Caitlyn Jenner
was first coming out,
was first coming out,
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是在凱特琳·詹納剛出櫃時，
00:56
shedding her identity as a Kardashian
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擺脫她身為卡戴珊家族成員的身分，
00:58
and moving into her life
as a transgender activist.
as a transgender activist.
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開始跨性別運動參與者的人生。
01:02
I wrote a column
in People magazine at the time,
in People magazine at the time,
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當時我曾在《時人》
雜誌中寫一篇專欄，
雜誌中寫一篇專欄，
01:04
talking about the importance of names
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論述名字的重要性，
01:06
and how names are our identity.
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以及名字代表我們的身份認同。
01:09
And that to misuse them or not to use them
erases us in a certain way.
erases us in a certain way.
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誤用或不去使用某些名字，
會以某種方式抹滅了我們。
會以某種方式抹滅了我們。
01:13
And especially with Caitlyn Jenner,
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特別是凱特琳·詹納的例子，
01:15
I talked about Caitlyn,
but also the use of her pronouns.
but also the use of her pronouns.
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我談到凱特琳，也談到
怎麼使用她的代名詞。
怎麼使用她的代名詞。
01:19
Her pronouns.
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她的代名詞。
01:20
So I'm at this dinner --
delicious, wonderful, fun --
delicious, wonderful, fun --
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我在晚宴上，一切原本
很美味、很美好、很有趣——
很美味、很美好、很有趣——
01:23
when my host goes on a rant
about Caitlyn Jenner.
about Caitlyn Jenner.
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晚宴的主人轉而沒完沒了地
怒罵凱特琳·詹納。
怒罵凱特琳·詹納。
01:28
And she is saying that it is
disrespectful for Caitlyn Jenner
disrespectful for Caitlyn Jenner
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她說，凱特琳·詹納
强迫她使用新的名字
强迫她使用新的名字
和代名詞（去稱呼「凱」），
是很不尊重人的。
是很不尊重人的。
01:33
to force her to use a new name
and to use these new pronouns.
and to use these new pronouns.
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01:39
She's not buying it,
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她不能接受，
01:40
and I'm listening,
and because I do meditation,
and because I do meditation,
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而我聽著，因為我會做冥想，
01:43
I took my sacred pause before I responded.
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在我回應之前，我刻意暫停了。
01:46
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
01:49
And I reminded her
that when she got married,
that when she got married,
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我提醒她，當她結婚時，
01:52
she changed her name,
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她改了她的名字，
01:54
and that she took the name of her husband.
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她用了夫姓。
01:56
And that's the name all of us now use.
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我們現在都也用她的夫姓稱呼她。
01:59
We don't use it just
because it's her legal name,
because it's her legal name,
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我們用這個名字並不僅
因那是她的正式姓氏，
因那是她的正式姓氏，
也是因為我們尊重她。
02:01
but we use it because it's respectful.
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02:04
Ditto for Miss Jenner.
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對詹納也是一樣。
02:06
She didn't buy it
and we didn't speak for years.
and we didn't speak for years.
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她不接受，我們很多年
都沒有再說話。
都沒有再說話。
02:08
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
02:10
So ...
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像這樣…
02:13
I am known as the Civilist.
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我被稱為文明主義者。
02:15
And it's probably a word
that you're not that familiar with.
that you're not that familiar with.
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你們可能不太熟悉這個詞。
02:20
It's not in common parlance
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它不是個常見用語，
它來自拉丁文和法文，
02:21
and it comes from the Latin
and the French,
and the French,
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02:24
and it means an individual
who tries to live by a moral code,
who tries to live by a moral code,
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意指一個人試圖遵守道德準則，
02:28
who is striving to be a good citizen.
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且努力要成為好公民。
02:31
The word "civility" is derived from that,
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「公民素養」這個詞就是源自於它，
02:34
and the original definition of civility
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公民素養的原始定義
02:36
is citizens willing to give of themselves
for the good of the city,
for the good of the city,
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是公民願意奉獻自己
以謀求城市的利益，
以謀求城市的利益，
02:40
for the good of the commonwealth,
for the larger good.
for the larger good.
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全體公民的、大我的利益。
02:44
So, in this talk,
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所以，在這場演說中，
02:45
you're going to learn
three new ways to be civil, I hope,
three new ways to be civil, I hope,
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我希望，你們將會學到
三種更具有公民素養的方法，
三種更具有公民素養的方法，
02:49
and it will be according
to the original definition of civility.
to the original definition of civility.
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而背後用到的定義
是公民素養的原始定義。
是公民素養的原始定義。
02:54
My first problem is:
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我的第一個問題是：
02:57
civility is an obsolete word.
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公民素養是個過時的詞。
02:59
My second problem is:
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我的第二個問題是：
03:01
civility has become
a dirty word in this country.
a dirty word in this country.
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在這個國家，公民素養已經
變成了一個髒字。
變成了一個髒字。
03:04
And that is whether you lean right
or whether you lean left.
or whether you lean left.
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不論你在政治上傾左或右。
03:08
And in part, that's because modern usage
equates civility with decorum,
equates civility with decorum,
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部分是因為，
現今將公民素養等同於禮儀，
現今將公民素養等同於禮儀，
03:13
with formal politeness, formal behavior.
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等同於正式的禮貌、正式的行為。
03:17
We've gotten away
from the idea of citizenship.
from the idea of citizenship.
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但我們離其中的公民意識
概念越來越遠了。
概念越來越遠了。
03:20
So, let me start by talking a little bit
about my friends on the right,
about my friends on the right,
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所以，讓我先來談談右傾的朋友們，
03:24
who have conflated civility with
what they call political correctness.
what they call political correctness.
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把公民素養和他們所謂的
政治正確性混淆了。
政治正確性混淆了。
03:28
And to them, callouts for civility
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對他們而言，呼籲公民素養，
03:31
are really very much like
what George Orwell wrote in "1984" --
what George Orwell wrote in "1984" --
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很像喬治·歐威爾
在《1984》中寫的——
在《1984》中寫的——
03:35
he called it "newspeak."
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他稱之為「新語」。
03:37
And this was an attempt
to change the way we talk
to change the way we talk
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意思是：透過強行改變
我們使用的言詞，
我們使用的言詞，
03:40
by forcibly changing
the language that we use.
the language that we use.
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來嘗試改變我們說話的方式。
03:43
To change our ideas
by changing the meaning of words.
by changing the meaning of words.
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透過改變言詞的意思，
來改變我們的想法。
來改變我們的想法。
03:46
And I think my dinner host
might have had some of that
might have had some of that
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我認為，我的晚宴主人
可能多少因此感覺不安。
03:50
rattling around there.
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03:53
And I first personally understood, though,
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不過，我第一次親身了解到
03:55
the right's problem with civility
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右派對於公民素養的不滿，
03:57
when I wrote a column
about then-candidate Donald Trump.
about then-candidate Donald Trump.
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是在我有篇專欄談到
當時還是候選人的川普。
當時還是候選人的川普。
04:01
And he had just said
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那時他說，
04:03
he did not have time
for total political correctness,
for total political correctness,
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他沒有時間做到完全的政治正確，
04:07
and he did not believe
the country did either.
the country did either.
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他認為這個國家也是如此。
04:09
And I took that to heart, it was very --
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我認真看待那句話，它非常——
04:14
The audience was very engaged
about that online, as you can imagine.
about that online, as you can imagine.
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應該不難想像，
網民對此熱烈地議論。
網民對此熱烈地議論。
04:17
There was a thousand responses,
and this one stood out to me
and this one stood out to me
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有上千則回應，其中
這段引起我的注意，
這段引起我的注意，
04:22
because it was representative:
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因為它很有代表性：
04:25
"Political correctness
is a pathological system
is a pathological system
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「政治正確是一種病態的體制，
04:28
that lets liberals dominate
a conversation,
a conversation,
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它讓自由主義者能夠主導對談，
04:30
label, demonize and shout down
the opposition."
the opposition."
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將對立的人貼上標籤、妖魔化，
並淹沒他們的聲音。」
並淹沒他們的聲音。」
04:35
So I think, to the right,
civility translates into censure.
civility translates into censure.
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所以，我心想，對右派而言，
公民素養被視為譴責。
公民素養被視為譴責。
04:41
So that's the right.
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這是右派的部分。
04:43
Now, my friends on the left
also have a problem with it.
also have a problem with it.
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至於我的左派朋友，
也對公民素養有所不滿。
也對公民素養有所不滿。
04:47
And for example, there have been those
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比如，有一些人，
04:49
who have harassed
Trump administration officials
Trump administration officials
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他們曾騷擾恐嚇那些
支持總統在邊境建圍牆的
支持總統在邊境建圍牆的
04:51
who support the President's border wall.
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川普政府官員們。
04:54
They've been called out as rude,
they've been called out as nasty,
they've been called out as nasty,
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他們曾經被罵無禮、
他們曾經被罵下流、
他們曾經被罵下流、
他們曾經被罵得更難聽。
04:58
they've been called out as worse.
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04:59
And after one such incident last year,
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在去年的一個衝突後，
05:01
even the Washington Post --
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就連《華盛頓郵報》——
05:03
you know, left-leaning
Washington Post --
Washington Post --
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你們知道的，左傾的
《華盛頓郵報》——
《華盛頓郵報》——
05:05
wrote an editorial and sided with decorum.
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也寫了一篇社論，
站在禮儀的那一邊。
站在禮儀的那一邊。
05:08
And they argued that officials
should be allowed to dine in peace.
should be allowed to dine in peace.
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他們主張：應該要讓官員好好地用餐。
05:13
Hm.
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嗯。
05:15
"You know, the wall
is the real incivility here.
is the real incivility here.
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「你們知道，築牆才真是的不文明。
05:19
The tear-gassing of kids,
the separation of families."
the separation of families."
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孩子被催淚瓦斯攻擊、
家庭被強行地拆散。」
家庭被強行地拆散。」
05:22
That's what the protestors say.
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那是抗爭者的說法。
05:25
And imagine if we had sided,
in this country,
in this country,
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想像一下這個國家，若在歷史上
05:27
with decorum and courtesy
throughout our history.
throughout our history.
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我們都選擇站在
守規矩和合禮儀的那一邊。
守規矩和合禮儀的那一邊。
05:31
You know, I think about the suffragettes.
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我想到婦女參政運動者。
05:34
They marched, they picketed.
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他們遊行、他們在外抗議、
05:37
They were chastised, they were arrested
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他們被譴責、他們被逮捕，
05:39
for pursuing the vote
for women in the 1920s.
for women in the 1920s.
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只因為他們在二零年代
追求女性投票權。
追求女性投票權。
05:42
You know, I also think about
the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr.,
the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr.,
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我也想到馬丁 · 路德 · 金恩牧師，
05:46
the father of American
nonviolent civil disobedience.
nonviolent civil disobedience.
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美國非暴力公民不服從運動之父。
05:49
He was labeled as uncivil in his attempt
to promote racial and economic justice.
to promote racial and economic justice.
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當他試圖推動種族和經濟正義時，
他也被貼上了「無禮」的標籤。
他也被貼上了「無禮」的標籤。
05:56
So I think you get a sense
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我想，你們可以了解，
05:58
of why civility has become
a problem, a dirty word, here.
a problem, a dirty word, here.
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為什麼在此公民素養會變成
一個問題、一個不雅的字。
一個問題、一個不雅的字。
06:03
Now, does this mean we can't disagree,
that we can't speak our minds?
that we can't speak our minds?
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這是否代表我們無法持
反對意見、不能說出心聲？
反對意見、不能說出心聲？
06:08
Absolutely not.
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當然不是。
06:10
I recently spoke with
Dr. Carolyn Lukensmeyer.
Dr. Carolyn Lukensmeyer.
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最近我和
嘉露蓮·洛肯斯邁爾博士談過。
嘉露蓮·洛肯斯邁爾博士談過。
06:13
She's kind of the guru
of civility in this country,
of civility in this country,
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在美國，她就像公民素養的權威，
06:16
and the executive director of a body
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也是「國家公民論述研究院」的執行長，
06:18
called the National Institute
for Civil Discourse.
for Civil Discourse.
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06:20
And she told me,
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她告訴我：
06:21
"Civility does not mean appeasement
or avoiding important differences.
or avoiding important differences.
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「公民素養並不是一味姑息
或迴避重大的歧見。
或迴避重大的歧見。
06:26
It means listening and talking
about those differences with respect."
about those differences with respect."
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它是要傾聽並帶著尊重
來談論那些歧見。」
來談論那些歧見。」
06:32
In a healthy democracy,
we need to do that.
we need to do that.
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在健康的民主環境中，
我們需要那麼做。
我們需要那麼做。
06:35
And I call that respectful engagement.
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我稱之為「以敬相待」。
06:39
But civil discourse also needs rules,
it needs boundaries.
it needs boundaries.
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但公民論述也需要規則，需要界線。
06:43
For instance, there's a difference
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比如，僅是無禮且貶低人的語言，
06:46
between language
that is simply rude or demeaning,
that is simply rude or demeaning,
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和掀起仇恨與不寬容的言論，
是有所不同的。
是有所不同的。
06:49
and speech that invokes
hatred and intolerance.
hatred and intolerance.
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06:53
And specifically of groups.
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特別是針對某些族群。
06:55
And I'm thinking
of racial and ethnic groups,
of racial and ethnic groups,
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我想到種族和民族性族群，
06:57
I'm thinking of the LGBTQ community,
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我想到 LGBTQ 族群，
06:59
I'm thinking of the disabled.
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我想到行動不便者。
07:02
We snowflakes
call this speech "hate speech."
call this speech "hate speech."
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我們這些容易感到被冒犯的自由派，
稱之為「仇恨言論」。
稱之為「仇恨言論」。
07:06
And hate speech can lead to violence.
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仇恨言論有可能導致暴力。
07:11
So, to that point, in the fall of 2018,
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所以，在 2018 年秋天，
07:14
I wrote a column
about Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.
about Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.
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我寫了篇專欄關於
凱瑞斯汀·布萊西·福特教授。
凱瑞斯汀·布萊西·福特教授。
07:18
You may remember her,
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你們可能記得她，
07:19
she was one of the women who accused
Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh
Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh
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她是其中一位控訴最高法院
提名人布雷特·卡瓦諾
提名人布雷特·卡瓦諾
07:24
of sexual assault.
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性侵害的人。
07:25
And among the responses,
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在許多回應當中，
07:27
I received this message,
a personal message,
a personal message,
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我收到這則私人訊息，
07:30
which you can see here on the slide.
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各位可以在投影片上看到。
07:33
It's been largely redacted.
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內容已經被大幅地隱藏了。
07:35
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
07:36
This message was 50 words long.
10 of them were the f-bomb.
10 of them were the f-bomb.
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這則訊息有五十個字，
其中十個是髒話。
其中十個是髒話。
07:40
And the Democrats were called out,
President Obama was called out,
President Obama was called out,
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民主黨黨員被點名，
歐巴馬總統被點名，
歐巴馬總統被點名，
07:44
and I was referred to in a pretty darn
vulgar and coarse way.
vulgar and coarse way.
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我也被以一個
相當侮辱人的方式給提到了。
相當侮辱人的方式給提到了。
07:51
There was an explicit threat
in that message,
in that message,
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那條資訊中有個公開的威脅。
07:53
and that is why my editors at The Post
sent it to authorities.
sent it to authorities.
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因此，我在華盛頓郵報的編輯
把訊息轉給了相關當局。
把訊息轉給了相關當局。
07:58
This came shortly before the pipe bombs
were sent to other media outlets,
were sent to other media outlets,
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這是在管炸藥被寄到
其他媒體之前不久發生的，
其他媒體之前不久發生的，
08:01
so everybody was really
kind of on guard there.
kind of on guard there.
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所以每個人都相當警戒。
08:06
And the larger context was,
only a few months before,
only a few months before,
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而更大的事件脈絡是，幾個月前，
08:09
five staffers had been killed
at a Maryland newspaper.
at a Maryland newspaper.
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一間馬里蘭報社的五個員工被殺害。
08:11
They had been shot dead
by a reader with a grudge.
by a reader with a grudge.
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他們被一名含恨的讀者槍殺了。
08:16
"Shut up or else."
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「閉嘴，否則要你好看。」
08:20
And it was around that same time
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大概在同一時間，
08:23
that a different reader of mine
started stalking me online.
started stalking me online.
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我的另一位讀者開始在網上跟蹤我。
08:26
And at first, it was ...
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剛開始的時候，情況…
08:28
I'll call it light and fluffy.
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我會說比較輕微。
08:30
It was around this time last year
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然後大概是去年此時，
08:31
and I still had
my Christmas decorations up
my Christmas decorations up
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我還沒有撤掉耶誕節裝飾。
08:33
and he sent me a message saying,
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他發給我一則訊息說：
08:35
"You should take your Christmas
decorations down."
decorations down."
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「你應該把你的耶誕裝飾撤下來了。」
08:38
And then he noticed that my dog
was off leash one day,
was off leash one day,
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有天他注意到我的狗沒拴好繩子，
08:41
and then he commented
that I had gone to the market.
that I had gone to the market.
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接著他說我已經出門去市場了。
08:45
And then he wrote me one that said,
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之後他寫了封訊息給我：
08:48
"If anyone were to shoot and kill you,
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「如果任何人想要槍殺你，
08:50
it would not be a loss at all."
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這對任何人來說都不會是損失。」
08:54
I wish that were the end of the story.
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我希望這就是故事的結尾。
08:56
Because then, a few months later,
he came to my door, my front door,
he came to my door, my front door,
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因為幾個月之後，
他憤怒地衝到我正門口，
他憤怒地衝到我正門口，
08:59
in a rage and tried
to break the door down.
to break the door down.
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試圖破門而入。
09:02
I now own mace, a security system
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現在我有防身噴霧、保安系統
09:05
and a Louisville Slugger baseball bat.
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和一根 Louisville Slugger 的棒球棒。
09:08
(Sighs)
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（歎息）
09:10
"Shut up or else."
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「閉嘴，否則要你好看。」
09:12
So, what's to be done
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那麼，我們應該做些什麼
09:14
to forestall civility from turning ugly,
from turning violent?
from turning violent?
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才能防止公民素養
變得難看、變得暴力呢？
變得難看、變得暴力呢？
09:17
My first rule is to deescalate language.
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我的第一條原則是使用和緩的語言。
09:20
And I've stopped using
trigger words in print.
trigger words in print.
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在文章裡我不再使用觸發詞了。
09:24
And by trigger words, I mean
"homophobe," I mean "racist,"
"homophobe," I mean "racist,"
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所謂觸發詞，我指像是
「恐同症」、「種族主義者」、
「恐同症」、「種族主義者」、
09:27
I mean "xenophobe," I mean "sexist."
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「排外」 、「性別歧視者」。
09:30
All of those words.
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這些詞，
09:32
They set people off.
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它們都會觸發人們的情緒、
09:34
They're incendiary
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它們具有煽動性、
09:35
and they do not allow us
to find common ground.
to find common ground.
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它們讓我們難以找到共識、
09:38
They do not allow us
to find a common heart.
to find a common heart.
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它們讓我們難以齊心。
09:41
And so to this point,
when John McCain died in 2018,
when John McCain died in 2018,
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當約翰 · 麥肯在 2018 年過世時，
09:47
his supporters noted
that he never made personal attacks.
that he never made personal attacks.
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他的支持者指出
他從未做過人身攻擊，
他從未做過人身攻擊，
09:51
But his opponents agreed as well,
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而他的反對者們也同意。
09:53
and I though that was
what was really noteworthy.
what was really noteworthy.
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我認為這是值得注意的。
09:55
He challenged people's policies,
he challenged their positions,
he challenged their positions,
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他挑戰人們的政策、
他挑戰人們的立場，
他挑戰人們的立場，
09:58
but he never made it personal.
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但他從來不針對個人。
10:00
And so that's the second rule.
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而這正是第二條原則。
10:03
So the problem of civility
is not only an American one.
is not only an American one.
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公民素養並不是美國獨有的問題。
10:07
In the Netherlands, there are calls
for a civility offensive right now,
for a civility offensive right now,
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在荷蘭，現在有專有名詞
來指稱低落的公民素養，
來指稱低落的公民素養，
10:11
and as one Dutch philosopher has put it,
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如一位荷蘭哲學家所說：
10:13
the country has fallen
under a spell of "verhuftering."
under a spell of "verhuftering."
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這個國家已經被下了一個
名為 “verhuftering” 的咒語。
名為 “verhuftering” 的咒語。
10:17
Now, this is not a word that I knew before
and I did quite a bit of research.
and I did quite a bit of research.
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這個詞我之前不認識，
我做了相當多的功課。
我做了相當多的功課。
10:21
It loosely means bullying
and the disappearance of good manners.
and the disappearance of good manners.
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它大致上可理解為
霸凌和禮貌的消失。
霸凌和禮貌的消失。
10:26
It actually means much worse than that,
but that's what I'm saying here.
but that's what I'm saying here.
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它的實際意思還要糟糕許多，
我言僅於此。
我言僅於此。
10:31
When you have a specific word, though,
to describe a problem like that,
to describe a problem like that,
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當你可以找到一個特定的詞
來描述一個問題時，
來描述一個問題時，
10:34
you know you really have a problem.
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你知道你的確有個問題。
10:38
And in the United Kingdom,
the [2016] Brexit vote ...
the [2016] Brexit vote ...
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而在英國，2016 年的脫歐投票，
10:42
you know, has divided
a nation even more so.
a nation even more so.
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你們知道，更是分化了一個國家。
10:47
And one critic of the breakup
called those who favor it --
called those who favor it --
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一名批評英國脫歐的人
把那些支持脫歐的人稱作，
把那些支持脫歐的人稱作，
10:51
I just love this phrase --
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我超愛這個形容：
10:53
"the frightened parochial
lizard brain of Britain."
lizard brain of Britain."
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「英國驚恐狹隘的蜥蜴腦。」
10:56
The frightened parochial
lizard brain of Britain.
lizard brain of Britain.
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英國驚恐狹隘的蜥蜴腦。
10:59
That's personal.
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這樣便是人身攻擊了。
11:01
And it makes me miss "Downton Abbey"
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這讓我懷念起《唐頓莊園》
11:04
and its patina of civility.
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和片中客氣的假象。
11:08
But therein lies the third rule:
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但這便是第三條原則：
11:11
don't mistake decorum for civility.
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不要錯把禮節當做公民素養。
11:14
Even if you have a dowager countess
as fabulous as Dame Maggie Smith.
as fabulous as Dame Maggie Smith.
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即便有位老伯爵夫人
無懈可擊如瑪姬·史密斯女爵士。
無懈可擊如瑪姬·史密斯女爵士。
【別當個失敗主義者，
那太中產階級了。】
那太中產階級了。】
11:18
(Laughter)
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11:19
[Don't be defeatist.
It's so middle class.]
It's so middle class.]
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11:20
So let me end with one last story.
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讓我用最後一個故事收尾。
11:23
Not that long ago, I was at a bakery,
and they make these amazing scones.
and they make these amazing scones.
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不久前，我在間麵包店，
他們有非常美味的司康。
他們有非常美味的司康。
11:27
So, long line --
there are a lot of scones.
there are a lot of scones.
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排隊的人很多，司康也很多。
11:29
And one by one,
the scones were disappearing
the scones were disappearing
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但是一個接著一個，司康不斷消失。
11:31
until there was one woman
in between me and that last scone.
in between me and that last scone.
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到我前面只剩一位女士時，
司康也只剩一個了。
司康也只剩一個了。
11:34
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
11:36
Praise the Lord, she said,
"I'll have a croissant."
"I'll have a croissant."
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謝天謝地，她說：「我要可頌麵包。」
11:39
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
11:40
So when it became my turn, I said,
"I'll take that scone."
"I'll take that scone."
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所以等輪到我的時候，
我說：「我要那個司康。」
我說：「我要那個司康。」
11:44
The guy behind me --
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站在我後面的男子，
11:46
I'd never turned around, never seen him --
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我本來絕不會轉過身看他。
11:48
he shouted, "That's my scone!
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他大聲說：「那是我的司康！
11:51
I've been waiting in line 20 minutes."
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我已經排了 20 分鐘了。」
11:53
And I was like, "Who are you?
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我當時想：「你哪位？
11:55
I've been waiting in line 20 minutes,
and you're behind me."
and you're behind me."
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我也排了 20 分鐘，
而你排在我後面。」
而你排在我後面。」
11:58
So, I grew up here in New York,
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我就在紐約長大，
12:01
and went to high school
not that far from here.
not that far from here.
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我的高中離這裡不遠。
12:03
And I may seem, you know,
very civil here and so on,
very civil here and so on,
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我也許看起來，你們知道，
很有禮貌之類的。
很有禮貌之類的。
12:07
but I can hip check anybody for a taxicab
in this room, on these streets.
in this room, on these streets.
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但我可以用屁股功和在場的
任何人，在馬路搶計程車。
任何人，在馬路搶計程車。
12:12
So I was surprised
when I said to this guy ...
when I said to this guy ...
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我也非常訝異，當我對他脫口而出…
12:16
"Would you like half?"
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「你想要一半嗎？」
12:18
"Would you like half?"
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1433
「你想要一半嗎？」
12:19
I didn't think about it, it just came out.
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我想都沒想，話就這麼
從我嘴裡冒出來了。
從我嘴裡冒出來了。
12:22
And then, he was very puzzled,
and I could see his face change
and I could see his face change
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他也愣了一下，
我看見他神情的變化。
我看見他神情的變化。
12:25
and he said to me,
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1190
接著他對我說：
12:26
"Well, how about if I buy another pastry
and we'll share both of them?"
and we'll share both of them?"
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3348
「那我買個其他的糕點，
然後我們一起分享如何？」
然後我們一起分享如何？」
他真買了另外一個糕點，
我們也一起分享了糕點。
我們也一起分享了糕點。
12:30
And he did, and we did.
244
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2537
12:33
And we sat and talked.
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我們坐了下來開始聊天。
12:35
We had nothing in common.
246
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1674
我們沒有任何交集。
12:37
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
12:38
We had nothing in common: nationality,
sexual orientation, occupation.
sexual orientation, occupation.
248
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4226
我們沒有任何交集：
國籍、性取向、職業。
國籍、性取向、職業。
12:43
But through this moment of kindness,
through this moment of connection,
through this moment of connection,
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但透過這個善意的瞬間，
透過這個聯結的瞬間，
透過這個聯結的瞬間，
12:47
we developed a friendship,
we have stayed in touch.
we have stayed in touch.
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我們牽起了一段友誼，
我們現在還保持聯繫。
我們現在還保持聯繫。
12:50
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
12:51
Although he was appalled to learn
that I'm called the Civilist after that.
that I'm called the Civilist after that.
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雖然後來他得知我被稱為
文明主義者時相當驚恐。
文明主義者時相當驚恐。
12:54
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
12:56
But I call this the joy of civility.
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但我稱之為公民素養的樂趣。
12:59
The joy of civility.
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公民素養的樂趣。
13:00
And it led me to wonder,
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它引導我去思忖一個問題：
13:01
what is the good we forgo,
not just the trouble we avoid,
not just the trouble we avoid,
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當我們選擇無禮的時候，
在避免了一些麻煩的同時，
在避免了一些麻煩的同時，
13:05
when we choose to be uncivil.
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我們是否也錯過了美好的可能？
13:07
And by good, I mean friendship,
I mean connection.
I mean connection.
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所謂美好，我指友誼、我指聯結、
13:11
I mean sharing 1000 calories.
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我指分享一大卡熱量。
13:14
But I also mean it in a larger way.
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但也有更廣義的好處。
13:16
You know, as communities
and as a country and as a world.
and as a country and as a world.
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作為社區、作為國家、作為世界、
13:20
What are we missing out on?
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我們錯過了什麼？
13:22
So, today, we are engaged in a great
civil war of ideas and identity.
civil war of ideas and identity.
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現今，我們正身陷一場
重大的思想和認同內戰。
重大的思想和認同內戰。
13:27
And we have no rules for them.
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而我們沒有規則可循。
13:30
You know, there are rules for war.
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你們知道，戰爭是有規則的。
13:33
Think about the Geneva Conventions.
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想想日內瓦公約，
13:35
They ensure that every soldier
is treated humanely,
is treated humanely,
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公約確保每個士兵都得到人道待遇，
13:37
on and off the battlefield.
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無論是在戰場上還是下了戰場。
13:41
So, frankly, I think we need
a Geneva Convention of civility,
a Geneva Convention of civility,
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直白地說，我認為我們
需要訂定公民素養的日內瓦公約
需要訂定公民素養的日內瓦公約
13:44
to set the rules for discourse
for the parameters of that.
for the parameters of that.
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為時下的論述提供一套規範，
13:47
To help us become better citizens
of our communities and of our countries.
of our communities and of our countries.
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幫助我們成為社區
和國家中更好的公民。
和國家中更好的公民。
13:53
And if I have anything to say about it,
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如果關於這個公約
我有什麼要說的，
我有什麼要說的，
13:55
I would base those rules
on the original definition of civility,
on the original definition of civility,
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我會把所有規則建立在
公民素養的本意上，
公民素養的本意上，
13:59
from the Latin and from the French.
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源於拉丁語和法語的本意。
14:01
Civility:
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「公民素養」：
14:03
citizens willing to give of themselves
for the greater good.
for the greater good.
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願意為了更大的利益、
為了城市的利益而奉獻自己的公民。
14:07
For the good of the city.
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14:09
So I think civility, with that
understanding, is not a dirty word.
understanding, is not a dirty word.
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如果我們這樣理解「公民素養」，
它便不再是一個髒字。
它便不再是一個髒字。
14:13
And I hope the civilist will not become,
or will not stay, obsolete.
or will not stay, obsolete.
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我希望「文明主義者」
這個詞不再過時。
這個詞不再過時。
14:19
Thank you.
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謝謝。
14:20
(Applause)
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（掌聲）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Steven Petrow - Journalist, authorJournalist Steven Petrow writes about manners and civility.
Why you should listen
Steven Petrow is an award-winning journalist and book author who is best known for his Washington Post and New York Times essays on civility and manners, aging and cancer. He was recently named as an opinion columnist for the USA TODAY Network.
When Petrow's last book, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay and Lesbian Manners: The Definitive Guide to LGBT Life, was published, TIME magazine commented (in a full-length feature): "Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette … author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority." Previously, Petrow penned the New York Times’s "Civil Behavior" advice column and "Digital Dilemmas" for Parade magazine. His work has been published in TIME, The Atlantic, Salon, the Daily Beast, the Los Angeles Times and The Advocate.
You're likely to hear Petrow when you turn on NPR's "All Things Considered Weekend," or one of your favorite (or least favorite) TV networks (MSNBC, PBS, CBS, Fox and CNN). Petrow also served as the host and executive producer of "The Civilist," a podcast from Public Radio International and North Carolina Public Radio WUNC.
A former president of NLGJA: The Association of LGBTQ Journalists, Petrow has been nominated for a Lambda Literary Award and The Publishing Triangle's Randy Shilts Award for Gay Non-Fiction and is a winner of several literary prizes, including the American Library Association's/ForeWord Magazine Book Silver Award for Reference.
Petrow is the recipient of numerous awards and grants, including those from the National Endowment for the Humanities, the Smithsonian Institution, the Ucross Foundation, the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts and the National Press Foundation. In 2017, he became the named sponsor of the Petrow LGBTQ Fellowship at the VCCA, a prize that is awarded annually. Petrow, with three degrees from Duke University and the University of California, Berkeley, lives in Hillsborough, N.C.
Steven Petrow | Speaker | TED.com