TED2017
Chuck Nice: A funny look at the unintended consequences of technology
Chuck Nice: 科技意外的有趣视觉效果
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科技应该为我们服务，但若事实并非如此，又会发生什么呢？喜剧人Chuck Nice 探索了科技发展和人类互动的意外后果，得出了令人捧腹的爆笑结果。
Chuck Nice - Comedian, science fan
Chuck Nice is a radio and TV veteran with a passion for science communication and comedy. Full bio
Chuck Nice is a radio and TV veteran with a passion for science communication and comedy. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
Future tech always comes
with two things: promise
with two things: promise
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有两样东西总是随未来科技而来
承诺 和意外成果
00:17
and unintended consequences.
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而这些成果正是我想要去探索的
00:19
And it's those consequences
that I want to explore.
that I want to explore.
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在了解未来科技
会怎样影响我们之前
会怎样影响我们之前
00:23
And before we get to how
future tech may affect us,
future tech may affect us,
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我会花一点时间去探索我们科技的
00:26
I'd like to spend a little time
exploring the unintended consequences
exploring the unintended consequences
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一些意外成果
00:30
of some of our recent tech,
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也就是社交媒体
00:32
namely, social media.
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00:34
Social media, a few short years ago,
was the tech of future you.
was the tech of future you.
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短短几年间
社交媒体从未来科技
社交媒体从未来科技
00:39
Now it just is you.
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变成了现实
当时认为社交媒体
将会以我们从未想象过的方式
将会以我们从未想象过的方式
00:42
Social media was supposed
to bring us together
to bring us together
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把我们聚集到一起
00:44
in ways we could never imagine.
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这种预测是对的
00:47
And the predictors were correct.
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00:50
These three girls
are talking to one another
are talking to one another
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这三个女孩正在自如地聊天
还完美地避免了对视的尴尬
00:53
without the awkward discomfort
of eye contact.
of eye contact.
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（笑声）
00:56
(Laughter)
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我认为这是一种进步
00:57
I call that advancement.
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01:01
We were supposed to be caught up
in a communication tsunami,
in a communication tsunami,
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还有人预测我们将会被卷入一场
前所未有的世界性社交海啸
01:05
the likes of which the world
has never seen.
has never seen.
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事实的确如此
01:07
And that did happen.
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这也是
01:09
And so did this.
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01:13
(Sings) One of these things
is not like the other.
is not like the other.
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（唱歌）有一个人 他落单了
（说话）现在来看看这张照片
01:16
(Speaks) Now, look at this picture.
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如果你在关注看书的那位 那就错了
01:17
If you picked the guy
with the book, you’re wrong --
with the book, you’re wrong --
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就像某位总统说的一样 “错了！”
01:20
or, as a certain president
would say, "Wrong!"
would say, "Wrong!"
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（笑声）
01:23
(Laughter)
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01:27
Clearly, three of these guys are reading,
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显然 这三位仁兄都在阅读
而坐在边上的那位则在听音乐
01:29
and one guy, on the end,
is listening to music
is listening to music
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和玩消消乐
01:32
and playing "Candy Crush."
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（笑声）
01:33
(Laughter)
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那到底是人与人的关系变得更亲密
01:35
So are we more connected,
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还是人与机的关系变得更亲密了
01:37
or are we just more connected
to our devices?
to our devices?
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01:42
Social media was supposed
to place us in a veritable town square,
to place us in a veritable town square,
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社交媒体理应要给我们
提供一个真正的言论广场
提供一个真正的言论广场
让我们的思想碰撞 相互辩论
01:45
where we could engage one another
with challenging ideas and debates.
with challenging ideas and debates.
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可事实上迎接我们的
是大量的“投饵”
是大量的“投饵”
01:50
And instead what we got were trolls.
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这是我收到过的一条真实推特信息
01:53
This is an actual tweet that I received.
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01:58
"Chuck, no one wants to hear
your stupid, ill-informed political views!
your stupid, ill-informed political views!
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“Chuck 没人想听你那些
愚蠢的 一知半解的政治见解
愚蠢的 一知半解的政治见解
我希望你得庥风死掉
02:02
I hope you get leprosy and die.
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爱你的 老爸
02:04
Love, Dad"
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（笑声）
02:06
(Laughter)
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02:08
Now, the great thing
about that tweet if you look at it,
about that tweet if you look at it,
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好消息是 如果你认真看这条推特
它跟大部分投饵一样没啥大碍
02:11
just like most trolls, it's not that bad,
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因为他希望我得“庥风” 而不是“麻风”
02:13
because he wished "leporsy" on me
instead of "leprosy,"
instead of "leprosy,"
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而“庥风”是完全无害的
02:17
and "leporsy" is not dangerous at all.
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（笑声）
02:20
(Laughter)
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（掌声）
02:21
(Applause)
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02:26
Along with trolls, we got
a brand new way of torturing teenagers --
a brand new way of torturing teenagers --
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伴随着投饵 一种折磨青少年的
新方式诞生了——
新方式诞生了——
网络欺凌
02:30
cyberbullying.
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02:32
A concept that my 75-year-old mother
just can't seem to wrap her head around.
just can't seem to wrap her head around.
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这概念会让我七十五岁的
老母亲摸不着头脑
老母亲摸不着头脑
02:38
"So, uh, did they hit him?"
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“那，他们打他了吗？”
“不，妈妈，他们没有。”
02:40
"No, Mom, they didn't hit him."
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02:42
"Did they take his money?"
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“那他们拿他钱了吗？”
“不，妈妈，他们没拿他钱。”
02:43
"No, Mom, they didn't take his money."
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“他们把他的脸按在厕所上了吗？”
02:45
"Did they put his face in the toilet?"
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“不，妈妈，他们没这么干……”
02:47
"No, Mom, they didn't --"
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“所以他们到底干啥了？”
02:48
"Well, what did they do?"
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“他们在网上攻击他。”
02:50
"They attacked him on the internet."
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02:52
"Attacked him on the internet?"
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“在网上攻击他？”
（笑声）
02:54
(Laughter)
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“那你直接断网不就得了？”
02:55
"Well, why don't you just
turn off the internet?"
turn off the internet?"
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（笑声）
02:57
(Laughter)
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“你们这代人全是软蛋。”
02:59
"Your whole generation
is a bunch of wussies."
is a bunch of wussies."
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（笑声）
03:01
(Laughter)
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03:03
She's got a point.
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她的话倒是没毛病
（笑声）
03:04
(Laughter)
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没毛病
03:06
She's got a point.
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我甚至都不想谈
社交媒体是怎么毁掉约会的
社交媒体是怎么毁掉约会的
03:07
And I don't even want to talk about
what social media has done to dating.
what social media has done to dating.
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03:11
I was on Grindr until I found out
it wasn't a sandwich app.
it wasn't a sandwich app.
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我上了 Grindr 才知道
原来它不是一款三明治手机叫餐应用
原来它不是一款三明治手机叫餐应用
03:16
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
03:19
And I can't even tell you about Tinder,
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更别说 Tinder 了
如果你认为这世上只有
03:23
except for the fact that
if you think there is a limit
if you think there is a limit
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极少人会匿名约炮
03:27
to the amount of anonymous sex
we can have on this planet,
we can have on this planet,
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那就大错特错了
03:30
you are sadly mistaken.
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（笑声）
03:32
(Laughter)
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接下来要谈什么呢
03:33
So where do we go from here?
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一起来玩碰碰车吧
03:35
Well, let's just jump right in
and play the hits.
and play the hits.
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无人驾驶汽车
03:38
Driverless cars.
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其实多年前我们已经做到了
03:39
Something that has already
been around for many years,
been around for many years,
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只不过以前没有用电脑而已
03:42
just without the assistance of computers.
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（笑声）
03:44
(Laughter)
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03:47
(Applause)
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（掌声）
03:50
Because for years, we have
been driving while texting,
been driving while texting,
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因为多年来我们都是
一边开车一边发信息
一边开车一边发信息
一边化妆
03:54
putting on makeup,
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一边刮胡子 阅读
如果真有会人阅读
如果真有会人阅读
03:56
shaving, reading -- actually reading --
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那说的就是我
03:59
that would be me.
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（笑声）
04:00
(Laughter)
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同时 既然无人驾驶汽车将会共享
04:01
The other thing is that since
driverless cars will be shared,
driverless cars will be shared,
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大部分人都不会买车了
04:04
most people won't own cars,
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意味着车辆管理局要退出历史舞台了
04:06
and that means the DMV will go away.
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04:09
The DMV -- I know what
you're saying right now.
you're saying right now.
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车辆管理局——我知道你在想什么
“这人不可能会支持
04:11
"There's no way this guy
is going to stand up here
is going to stand up here
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车辆管理局。”
04:13
and make a case for the DMV."
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好吧 我不了解你
但我真的不想在这么一个世界生活：
但我真的不想在这么一个世界生活：
04:15
Well, I don't know about you,
but I do not want to live in a world
but I do not want to live in a world
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充斥着刺眼的灯光
04:18
where harsh fluorescent lights,
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一眼望不到头的长队
04:20
endless lines,
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烦人的表格
04:22
terrible forms to fill out
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还有心怀不满 行尸走肉般的官僚
04:24
and disaffected, soulless
bureaucrats remind me
bureaucrats remind me
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提醒我幸亏自己没在那儿工作
04:28
that I am pretty damn lucky
not to work here.
not to work here.
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（笑声）
04:31
(Laughter)
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04:33
That is the real service they provide.
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这就是他们真正提供的服务
04:36
The DMV:
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车辆管理局：
为注册续签而生
04:37
come for the registration renewal,
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致力于让你做出好的生活抉择
04:40
stay for the satisfaction of knowing
you made some pretty good life choices.
you made some pretty good life choices.
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（笑声）
04:44
(Laughter)
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04:49
Nobody will own their car in the future,
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将来没人会开私家车了
青少年也少了一个卿卿我我的地方
04:51
and that means teenagers
will not have a place to make out.
will not have a place to make out.
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04:55
So you know what that means.
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也就是说
他们会叫一辆无人驾驶汽车来代替
04:56
That means they will order
driverless cars to do just that.
driverless cars to do just that.
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05:00
I do not want to step into a vehicle
and ask the question:
and ask the question:
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我可不想在进车时有这样的疑惑
“为什么我嗅到了
笨拙、失败和羞耻的气息？”
笨拙、失败和羞耻的气息？”
05:04
"Why does this car smell like
awkwardness, failure and shame?"
awkwardness, failure and shame?"
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（笑声）
05:09
(Laughter)
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05:12
If I want to ask that question,
I'll walk into my own bedroom.
I'll walk into my own bedroom.
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如果我真想问这么一个问题
我会回我自己房间的
我会回我自己房间的
（笑声）
05:15
(Laughter)
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那还有什么要吐槽的呢
05:17
So what else do we have
to look forward to?
to look forward to?
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05:19
That's right, artificial intelligence.
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对 就是人工智能
没错 人工智能
05:21
Artificial intelligence, yes.
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曾几何时 人工智能还只是个笑话
05:23
You know, there was a time
when artificial intelligence was a joke.
when artificial intelligence was a joke.
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而且还是有些人会在
05:26
I mean, literally a quip
that you would hear at a cocktail party
that you would hear at a cocktail party
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鸡尾酒派对上说的俏皮话
05:30
when somebody would
bring it up in conversation:
bring it up in conversation:
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“人工智能
05:32
"Artificial intelligence.
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唯一真正的人工智能就是美国国会
05:34
The only real artificial intelligence
is our American Congress.
is our American Congress.
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哈哈哈哈哈“
05:38
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha."
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不过这已经不好笑了
05:40
Well, it's not funny anymore.
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（笑声）
05:41
(Laughter)
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05:48
Stephen Hawking, Elon Musk
and Bill Gates have all gone on record
and Bill Gates have all gone on record
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斯蒂芬·霍金 埃隆·马斯克 比尔·盖茨
都曾表达过对人工智能的悲观看法
05:51
expressing grave reservations
about artificial intelligence.
about artificial intelligence.
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就好像耶稣 摩西和
穆罕默迪聚在一起说：
穆罕默迪聚在一起说：
05:55
That's like Jesus, Moses and Muhammad
coming together and saying,
coming together and saying,
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“嘿，嘿，你们真的要相信。”
05:59
"Guy, guys -- here's something
we can all believe in."
we can all believe in."
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（笑声）
06:02
(Laughter)
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你们可能会真的相信
06:03
You might want to go with that,
is all I'm saying.
is all I'm saying.
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06:07
We are actually teaching
machines how to think,
machines how to think,
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其实我们就是在教机器怎样思考
06:11
how to understand our behavior,
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怎样理解我们的行为
怎样自我防卫 甚至学会欺骗
06:14
how to defend themselves
and even practice deception.
and even practice deception.
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06:18
What could possibly go wrong?
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这能有什么问题呢
（笑声）
06:20
(Laughter)
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06:23
The one thing that's for sure:
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有一点可以确定的是
造物者总是被自己的作品鄙视
06:25
the creation always despises its creator.
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06:29
OK?
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懂吗
泰坦总是会上帝作对
06:30
The Titans rose up against the gods;
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路西法与耶和华作对
06:32
Lucifer against Jehovah.
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06:34
And anybody who has a teenager
has heard these words:
has heard these words:
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各位青少年家长
肯定听过这样的话
肯定听过这样的话
“我恨你，你毁了我一生！”
06:37
"I hate you and you're ruining my life!
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“我恨你！”
06:39
I hate you!"
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06:42
Now just imagine that sentiment
with a machine that can outthink you
with a machine that can outthink you
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再想象一下一台比你聪明的机器
会对你怀有怎样的感情
会对你怀有怎样的感情
还是全副武装那种
06:46
and is heavily armed.
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（笑声）
06:48
(Laughter)
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06:51
The result?
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结果呢
06:52
Absolutely.
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显而易见
（笑声）
06:54
(Laughter)
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06:58
What we need to do before we perfect
artificial intelligence
artificial intelligence
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在完善人工智能之前
我们应该完善人工情感
07:02
is perfect artificial emotions.
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07:04
That way, we can teach
the robots or machines
the robots or machines
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我们可以教机器人或者机器
怎样无条件爱我们
07:08
how to love us unconditionally,
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即便他们发现这个星球上的唯一问题
07:11
so that when they figure out
that the only real problem on this planet
that the only real problem on this planet
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就是我们
07:15
is us,
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它们都不会灭了我们
07:16
instead of destroying us --
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而是 完全符合逻辑地
07:18
which, by the way, is totally logical --
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觉得我们可爱极了
07:21
they will find us adorable --
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（笑声）
07:24
(Laughter)
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就跟婴儿拉粑粑一样
07:25
like baby poop.
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（笑声）
07:26
(Laughter)
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“天哪，我爱死你摧毁地球的方式了，
07:27
"Oh my god, I just love the way
you just destroyed the planet.
you just destroyed the planet.
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我没办法对你发火，你太可爱了！
07:30
I can't stay mad at you, you're so cute!
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你太可爱了！“
07:33
You're so cute!"
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（笑声）
07:34
(Laughter)
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提到人工智能就必须要谈机器人了
07:36
Can't talk about this without
talking about robotics. OK?
talking about robotics. OK?
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还记得你曾经觉得机器人很酷吗
07:43
Remember when you thought
robotics were cool?
robotics were cool?
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以前我也觉得机器人很酷
07:45
I remember when I thought
robotics were cool,
robotics were cool,
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直到我发现它们会取代任何人
07:47
until I figured out that they were
going to take everybody's place,
going to take everybody's place,
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从快递员到心脏外科医生
07:50
from the delivery guy
down to the heart surgeon.
down to the heart surgeon.
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关于机器人 只有一件事让我们失望
07:52
The one thing, though,
that is very disappointing about robotics
that is very disappointing about robotics
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那就是我们至今
07:55
is the holy grail of robotics,
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也未能实现的终极梦想
07:57
and it hasn't even happened.
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我说的是机器人女朋友
07:58
I'm talking about the robot girlfriend,
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住在无窗地下室的
孤独极客将她们视为梦想
孤独极客将她们视为梦想
08:00
the dream of one lonely geek
in a windowless basement
in a windowless basement
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并终会在将来的某天高呼：
“我要跟我的作品结婚。”
“我要跟我的作品结婚。”
08:04
who vowed one day:
"I am going to marry my creation."
"I am going to marry my creation."
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08:08
And there actually is a movement underway
to stop this from happening,
to stop this from happening,
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事实上也有阻止
这种梦想成真的地下运动
这种梦想成真的地下运动
他们唯恐产生剥削
08:13
for fear of exploitation.
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08:16
And I, for one, am against that movement.
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而我 是反对这种运动的
08:20
I believe we should
have robot girlfriends.
have robot girlfriends.
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我觉得我们应该要有机器人女朋友
08:23
I just believe that they should come
with a feminist protocol
with a feminist protocol
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除了有人工智能之外
她们还要懂得女权主义协议
08:27
and artificial intelligence,
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那样她们就可以对人说：“你配不上我，
08:29
so she can take one look at that guy
and go, "I am too good for you.
and go, "I am too good for you.
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我要走了。”
08:33
I'm leaving."
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（笑声）
08:35
(Laughter)
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（掌声）
08:36
(Applause)
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08:40
And finally,
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最后
我必须要谈一下生物工程
08:42
I have to talk about bioengineering,
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08:44
an area of science that promises
to end disease before it even begins,
to end disease before it even begins,
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这个科学领域承诺能够预防疾病
08:51
to help us live longer,
fuller, healthier lives.
fuller, healthier lives.
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让我们活得更长久 更精彩 更健康
08:57
And when you couple that
with implantable hardware,
with implantable hardware,
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只要联想一下植入式硬件
你就能看到人类的下一轮进化
09:00
you are looking at the next incarnation
of human evolution.
of human evolution.
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在你搞清楚这是什么意思之前
09:04
And all of that sounds great,
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这一切听起来都很好
09:07
until you figure out
where it's really going.
where it's really going.
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比如说：
09:09
One place:
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09:11
designer babies,
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“设计婴儿”
09:13
where, no matter
where you are on the globe
where you are on the globe
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无论你在地球上的哪个地方
是什么种族
09:15
or what your ethnicity,
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生出来的宝宝都会长成这样
09:17
babies will end up looking like that.
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（笑声）
09:19
(Laughter)
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这个小男孩很吃惊
09:21
That boy is surprised
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因为他刚得知他的父母都是黑人
09:24
because he just found out
both his parents are black.
both his parents are black.
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（笑声）
09:27
(Laughter)
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09:35
Can you imagine him
at a cocktail party in 20 years?
at a cocktail party in 20 years?
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你能想象一下二十年后
他参加鸡尾酒派对的场景吗
他参加鸡尾酒派对的场景吗
09:39
"Yeah, both my parents are black.
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“对，我的父母都是黑人。
我是说，虽然有点奇怪，
09:41
I mean, it's a little awkward at times,
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不过你一定要去看看
我的信用等级
我的信用等级
09:43
but you should see my credit rating.
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非常高，我真没有骗你。”
09:45
Impressive, very impressive."
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（笑声）
09:46
(Laughter)
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09:49
Now, all of this seems scary,
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这一切似乎都很吓人
可这里的每个人都知道这不是事实
09:51
and everybody in this room
knows that it isn't.
knows that it isn't.
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科技并不可怕
09:54
Technology isn't scary.
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09:56
Never has been and it never will be.
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以前不是 将来也不会
10:00
What's scary is us
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可怕的是我们自己
以及我们会利用科技做的事
10:02
and what we will do with technology.
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10:05
Will we allow it to expose our humanity,
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我们是用它展现我们的人性
10:09
showing our true selves
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展示我们的真我
深化我们是自己兄弟的依靠这一事实
10:11
and reinforcing the fact
that we are indeed our brother's keeper?
that we are indeed our brother's keeper?
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10:16
Or will we allow it to reveal
our deepest, darkest demons?
our deepest, darkest demons?
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还是透过它显露自己
内心深处的阴暗面
内心深处的阴暗面
10:22
The true question is not
whether or not technology is scary.
whether or not technology is scary.
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真正的问题不在于科技是否可怕
10:28
The true question is:
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真正的问题是
10:30
How human
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你到底是否
10:31
are you?
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枉而为人
10:33
Thank you.
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谢谢
（掌声）
10:34
(Applause)
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Translated by 潘 可儿
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Chuck Nice - Comedian, science fanChuck Nice is a radio and TV veteran with a passion for science communication and comedy.
Why you should listen
Chuck Nice is an 18-year veteran of stand-up comedy with a rich history in entertainment. For years, Nice has been busy making a name for himself across all mediums, including radio, television and the internet. Currently, he is the co-host of StarTalk with Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson on Nat Geo. Nice has also hosted How to Buy Like Mega Millionaire and Home Strange Home on HGTV. His other familiar works include Price This Place on HGTV, VH-1's Best Week Ever, TRU TV's World’s Dumbest, The Katie Couric Show, Bethany and The Meredith Viera Show. Despite his busy schedule, Nice still makes time to regularly perform at NYC comedy clubs, delighting audiences with his storytelling style of stand-up comedy.
Most recently, Nice is preparing the groundwork for the world's largest youth climate summit titled "Shh...It Just Got Real!" -- aimed at activating the people most affected by climate change, those who will inhabit the problem we are now creating.
Chuck Nice | Speaker | TED.com