ABOUT THE SPEAKER
David Brooks - Op-ed columnist
Writer and thinker David Brooks has covered business, crime and politics over a long career in journalism.

Why you should listen

David Brooks became an Op-Ed columnist for The New York Times in September 2003. He is currently a commentator on "The PBS Newshour," NPR’s "All Things Considered" and NBC's "Meet the Press."

He is the author of Bobos in Paradise and The Social Animal. In April 2015, he released with his fourth book, The Road to Character, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller.

Brooks also teaches at Yale University, and is a member of the American Academy of Arts & Sciences.

Born on August 11, 1961 in Toronto, Canada, Brooks graduated a bachelor of history from the University of Chicago in 1983. He became a police reporter for the City News Bureau, a wire service owned jointly by the Chicago Tribune and Sun-Times.

He worked at The Washington Times and then The Wall Street Journal for nine years. His last post at the Journal was as Op-ed Editor. Prior to that, he was posted in Brussels, covering Russia, the Middle East, South Africa and European affairs. His first post at the Journal was as editor of the book review section, and he filled in as the Journal's movie critic.

He also served as a senior editor at The Weekly Standard for 9 years, as well as contributing editor for The Atlantic and Newsweek.

More profile about the speaker
David Brooks | Speaker | TED.com
TED2019

David Brooks: The lies our culture tells us about what matters -- and a better way to live

大卫 · 布鲁克斯: 我们的文化欺骗了我们什么才是重要的——以及更好的生活方式

Filmed:
3,776,568 views

我们在一场社会危机中。大卫 · 布鲁克斯,一位评论家和作家,说道: 我们被困在孤立和分裂的低谷中。我们怎么能逃出去呢?根据他在美国的旅行和遇到的形形色色的“织网者” —— 布鲁克斯提出了他对一场文化革命的愿景,让我们所有人都过上更有意义、更有目的、更有乐趣的生活。
- Op-ed columnist
Writer and thinker David Brooks has covered business, crime and politics over a long career in journalism. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

人生总会经历枯季。
00:12
So, we all have bad seasons季节 in life.
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00:15
And I had one in 2013.
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我的枯季在2013年。
00:18
My marriage婚姻 had just ended结束,
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我的婚姻破裂了,
我失败的婚姻让我感到羞辱。
00:19
and I was humiliated羞辱
by that failed失败 commitment承诺.
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我的孩子们离开家
去上大学了。
00:22
My kids孩子 had left home for college学院
or were leaving离开.
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00:26
I grew成长 up mostly大多
in the conservative保守 movement运动,
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我在保守派运动中成长,
但如今,保守主义变了,
00:28
but conservatism保守主义 had changed,
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00:30
so I lost丢失 a lot of those friends朋友, too.
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因此我失去了不少老朋友。
00:32
And so what I did is,
I lived生活 alone单独 in an apartment公寓,
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我能做的仅是
独居于公寓中,
埋头工作。
00:35
and I just worked工作.
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00:37
If you opened打开 the kitchen厨房 drawers抽屉
where there should have been utensils餐具,
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若你在我家拉开厨具抽屉,
你看到会是各种便利贴。
00:40
there were Post-it发表它 notes笔记.
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00:42
If you opened打开 the other drawers抽屉
where there should have been plates,
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你若拉开盘具抽屉,
那儿将充满信封。
00:46
I had envelopes信封.
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00:47
I had work friends朋友, weekday平日 friends朋友,
but I didn't have weekend周末 friends朋友.
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我有同事朋友,工作日的友人,
但到周末,我又是孤身一人。
00:51
And so my weekends周末
were these long, howling嚎叫 silences沉默.
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我的周末是漫长的寂静。
00:56
And I was lonely孤独.
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我很孤独。
00:58
And loneliness孤单, unexpectedly不料,
came来了 to me in the form形成 of --
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寂寞以意想不到的方式击垮了我,
01:02
it felt like fear恐惧,
a burning燃烧 in my stomach.
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它像是一种恐惧,
一种胃中的焦灼感。
01:05
And it felt a little like drunkenness醉酒,
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有时又像是醉酒的感觉,
01:07
just making制造 bad decisions决定,
just fluidity流动性, lack缺乏 of solidity坚固.
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我无法作出正确的选择,
一切都随波逐流,毫无立足点。
01:13
And the painful痛苦 part部分 of that moment时刻
was the awareness意识
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最让我痛苦的是,
我意识到
空空荡荡的公寓
只是我内心空虚的
01:17
that the emptiness空虚 in my apartment公寓
was just reflective反光 of the emptiness空虚
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一种外在映射,
01:20
in myself,
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我被我们的文化中的谎言欺骗。
01:22
and that I had fallen堕落 for some of the lies
that our culture文化 tells告诉 us.
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01:27
The first lie谎言 is that
career事业 success成功 is fulfilling履行.
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第一条谎言是
事业成功会让你感到满足。
我在事业上是小有成就,
01:30
I've had a fair公平 bit of career事业 success成功,
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它帮助我避免那种
觉得自己是个废物的
01:32
and I've found发现 that it helps帮助 me avoid避免
the shame耻辱 I would feel
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挫败感,
01:35
if I felt myself a failure失败,
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01:37
but it hasn't有没有 given特定 me any positive good.
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但它也给不了我
任何的正能量。
01:40
The second第二 lie谎言 is I can make myself happy快乐,
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第二个谎言是
若我可以再胜利一次,
01:44
that if I just win赢得 one more victory胜利,
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我可以让自己变快乐。
01:46
lose失去 15 pounds英镑, do a little more yoga瑜伽,
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像是减肥15磅,做一下瑜伽,
我就会变得开心起来。
01:50
I'll get happy快乐.
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01:51
And that's the lie谎言 of self-sufficiency自给自足.
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这是“自给自足”的谎言。
01:54
But as anybody任何人
on their deathbed临终 will tell you,
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任何即将离世的人
都会跟你说,
01:57
the things that make people happy快乐
is the deep relationships关系 of life,
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人生中最愉悦的莫过于
各种深厚的交情,
02:00
the losing失去 of self-sufficiency自给自足.
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忘记自给自足的概念。
02:03
The third第三 lie谎言 is the lie谎言
of the meritocracy任人唯贤.
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第三个是关于
精英主义的谎言。
02:07
The message信息 of the meritocracy任人唯贤
is you are what you accomplish完成.
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这个主义传递着一个信息:
你的成就造就了你。
02:11
The myth神话 of the meritocracy任人唯贤
is you can earn dignity尊严
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精英主义告诉人们,
他们可以通过
穿戴名牌赢得自尊。
02:13
by attaching附上 yourself你自己
to prestigious声望很高的 brands品牌.
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精英主义是有条件的爱,
02:16
The emotion情感 of the meritocracy任人唯贤
is conditional有条件的 love,
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02:19
you can "earn" your way to love.
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你可以努力“挣”到爱。
精英主义不会把你看作
一个需要被救赎的灵魂,
02:20
The anthropology人类学 of the meritocracy任人唯贤
is you're not a soul灵魂 to be purified净化的,
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而是技能被最大化利用的技能套装。
02:24
you're a set of skills技能 to be maximized最大化.
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02:26
And the evil邪恶 of the meritocracy任人唯贤
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它最邪恶之处是
比别人取得多一点成就的人
02:28
is that people who've谁一直 achieved实现
a little more than others其他
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会被看作更有价值。
02:31
are actually其实 worth价值
a little more than others其他.
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02:34
And so the wages工资 of sin are sin.
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罪的代价还是罪恶。
02:36
And my sins were the sins of omission-遗漏--
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而我的罪在于我的疏忽,
02:38
not reaching到达 out,
failing失败 to show显示 up for my friends朋友,
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没有主动去社交,
没有和友人保持联系,
回避、绕开冲突。
02:41
evasion逃避, avoiding避免 conflict冲突.
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02:43
And the weird奇怪的 thing was
that as I was falling落下 into the valley --
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更奇怪的是,当我
渐渐跌入低谷中时--
就与外界失联了--
02:46
it was a valley of disconnection断开 --
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很多人也正经历着这些。
02:48
a lot of other people
were doing that, too.
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02:51
And that's sort分类 of
the secret秘密 to my career事业;
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这也算是我事业的秘密吧,
我的人生中发生的事,
02:53
a lot of the things that happen发生 to me
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通常也会发生在其他人身上。
02:54
are always happening事件
to a lot of other people.
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我是个平凡的人,
虽然我的沟通能力还行。
02:57
I'm a very average平均 person
with above以上 average平均 communication通讯 skills技能.
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(笑声)
03:00
(Laughter笑声)
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03:01
And so I was detached超脱.
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我产生被孤立感的同时,
03:03
And at the same相同 time,
a lot of other people were detached超脱
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很多人也有同感,
感到自己是座孤岛,
03:06
and isolated孤立 and fragmented支离破碎
from each other.
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与别人被拆分开。
03:09
Thirty-five三十五 percent百分 of Americans美国人
over 45 are chronically长期地 lonely孤独.
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百分之三十五45岁以上的
美国人长期感到孤独。
03:12
Only eight percent百分 of Americans美国人
report报告 having meaningful富有意义的 conversation会话
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只有百分之八的美国人
与他们的邻居之间
03:15
with their neighbors邻居.
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有过深度交谈。
03:16
Only 32 percent百分 of Americans美国人
say they trust相信 their neighbors邻居,
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只有百分之三十二的美国人,
以及百分之十八的千禧一代说
03:19
and only 18 percent百分 of millennials千禧.
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他们信任他们的邻居。
03:21
The fastest-growing增长最快
political政治 party派对 is unaffiliated无党派.
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发展最快的政治党派是独立的。
03:24
The fastest-growing增长最快 religious宗教
movement运动 is unaffiliated无党派.
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扩张得最快的宗教运动
也是与别的宗教无关联的。
抑郁症比例在上升,
心理疾病变得更普遍。
03:26
Depression萧条 rates利率 are rising升起,
mental心理 health健康 problems问题 are rising升起.
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自杀率自1999年
上升了百分之三十。
03:29
The suicide自杀 rate has risen上升
30 percent百分 since以来 1999.
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近几年青少年自杀率
03:33
For teen青少年 suicides自杀
over the last several一些 years年份,
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03:35
the suicide自杀 rate has risen上升 by 70 percent百分.
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上升了百分之七十。
03:39
Forty-five四十五 thousand Americans美国人
kill themselves他们自己 every一切 year;
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每年四万五千美国人死于自杀,
七万两千死于鸦片类药品上瘾;
03:41
72,000 die from opioid阿片 addictions成瘾;
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03:44
life expectancy期待 is falling落下, not rising升起.
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平均寿命在变短而不是变长。
03:48
So what I mean to tell you,
I flew out here to say
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所以我今天来到这里想说的是
如今人类面临着经济、环境危机
03:51
that we have an economic经济 crisis危机,
we have environmental环境的 crisis危机,
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还有政治危机。
03:54
we have a political政治 crisis危机.
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我们还经历着社交
与人际关系危机。
03:55
We also have a social社会
and relational相关的 crisis危机;
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我们正处于那个低谷。
03:58
we're in the valley.
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03:59
We're fragmented支离破碎 from each other,
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人际关系支离破碎,
而政界也是谎话连篇...
04:01
we've我们已经 got cascades级联 of lies
coming未来 out of Washington华盛顿 ...
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04:03
We're in the valley.
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我们困在了这个低谷。
04:05
And so I've spent花费 the last five years年份 --
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在过去的这五年中,
我一直在思考
如何走出这个低谷。
04:07
how do you get out of a valley?
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04:09
The Greeks希腊人 used to say,
"You suffer遭受 your way to wisdom智慧."
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古希腊人常说说,
“必经磨难,终得智慧”。
04:13
And from that dark黑暗 period where I started开始,
I've had a few少数 realizations变现.
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在我人生那段黑暗时光中,
我有了些许认识。
04:17
The first is, freedom自由 sucks.
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第一,自由糟透了。
04:20
Economic经济 freedom自由 is OK,
political政治 freedom自由 is great,
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经济自由还可以,
政治自由非常好,
社交自由是件坏事。
04:23
social社会 freedom自由 sucks.
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04:26
The unrooted无根 man is the adrift漂浮 man.
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无根之人注定要漂泊。
04:28
The unrooted无根 man is the unremembered未记起 man,
because he's uncommitted to things.
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无根之人注定会被遗忘,
因为他从不会做出承诺。
04:32
Freedom自由 is not an ocean海洋
you want to swim游泳 in,
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自由不是你可畅游的海洋,
而是你需跨越的一条河流,
04:36
it's a river you want to get across横过,
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这样你才可以
扎根于河对岸。
04:38
so you can commit承诺 and plant yourself你自己
on the other side.
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04:41
The second第二 thing I learned学到了
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我学到的第二件事是,
当坏事发生在你身上时,
04:42
is that when you have
one of those bad moments瞬间 in life,
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04:45
you can either be broken破碎,
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你不是被打击,
就是思维被打开。
04:46
or you can be broken破碎 open打开.
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04:48
And we all know people who are broken破碎.
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我们都认识受过打击的人。
04:50
They've他们已经 endured忍受 some pain疼痛
or grief哀思, they get smaller,
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他们忍受着痛苦与
悲伤,愈加变小,
04:53
they get angrier愤怒, resentful不满,
they lash睫毛 out.
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愈发愤世嫉俗,抨击时事。
04:55
As the saying is,
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俗话说,
04:56
"Pain疼痛 that is not transformed改造
gets得到 transmitted发送."
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“不被转化的痛苦会被传播”。
04:59
But other people are broken破碎 open打开.
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另一些人的思维
会被磨难打开。
05:03
Suffering's痛苦 great power功率
is that it's an interruption中断 of life.
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磨难的破坏力在于
它会扰乱正常生活。
05:06
It reminds提醒 you you're not the person
you thought you were.
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它会提醒你,
你与想象中的自己不一样。
05:09
The theologian神学家 Paul保罗 Tillich蒂利希 said
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神学家保罗·提利时说
05:10
what suffering痛苦 does is it carves through通过
what you thought was the floor地板
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磨难会穿透你以为是
05:14
of the basement地下室 of your soul灵魂,
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你的灵魂最深的地方,
05:15
and it carves through通过 that,
revealing揭示 a cavity空穴 below下面,
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露出一个蛀洞,
05:17
and it carves through通过 that,
revealing揭示 a cavity空穴 below下面.
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然后再往深处挖掘,
露出又一个蛀洞。
05:20
You realize实现 there are depths深处 of yourself你自己
you never anticipated预期,
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你触及到深度是
你从未预料到的,
而能填补那深层空虚的只有
精神粮食和人际关系。
05:23
and only spiritual精神 and relational相关的 food餐饮
will fill those depths深处.
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05:28
And when you get down there,
you get out of the head of the ego自我
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当你到达那深处,
你会忘记自我,
触及心灵,
05:31
and you get into the heart,
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充满渴求的心灵。
05:32
the desiring希望 heart.
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05:34
The idea理念 that what we really yearn向往 for
is longing渴望 and love for another另一个,
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我们真正想要的是
对他人的爱与思念,
05:38
the kind of thing that Louis路易 de Berni伯尼ères水库
described描述 in his book,
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路易·德博尼尔在他的书中
写过有关的感受。
在《柯莱利上尉的曼陀林》中,
05:41
"Captain队长 Corelli's科雷利的 Mandolin曼 陀 林."
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他写了一个老人和他女儿诉说
05:43
He had an old guy talking to his daughter女儿
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他与去世的妻子的故事,
05:45
about his relationship关系 with his late晚了 wife妻子,
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老人说到,
05:47
and the old guy says,
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05:48
"Love itself本身 is whatever随你 is leftover
when being存在 in love is burned away.
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“爱的本质是热爱之火
烧尽时剩下的一切。
这既是一种艺术,
也是幸运的巧合。
05:52
And this is both an art艺术
and a fortunate幸运 accident事故.
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05:55
Your mother母亲 and I had it.
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你妈妈和我有幸拥有它。
05:57
We had roots that grew成长
towards each other underground地下,
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我们的根在地底深深缠绕,
当那些美丽的花瓣
从树枝上凋落时,
05:59
and when all the pretty漂亮 blossoms花朵
had fallen堕落 from our branches分支机构,
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06:02
we discovered发现 that we are
one tree and not two."
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我们发现,我们早已
融为一棵大树。”
06:05
That's what the heart yearns渴望 for.
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这是我们心之所求。
06:07
The second第二 thing
you discover发现 is your soul灵魂.
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第二件事是
你会认识自己的灵魂。
06:10
Now, I don't ask you to believe in God
or not believe in God,
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我并非要传教,
让你去相信上帝,
但我希望你可以相信
06:13
but I do ask you to believe
that there's a piece of you
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你的一部分是无形,无色,无量的,
06:16
that has no shape形状, size尺寸, color颜色 or weight重量,
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但它能给予你无限的自尊和价值。
06:18
but that gives you
infinite无穷 dignity尊严 and value.
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06:21
Rich丰富 and successful成功 people
don't have more of this
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富有、成功人士并不会
比那些尚未成功之人
多一丝的灵魂。
06:23
than less successful成功 people.
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06:25
Slavery奴隶制度 is wrong错误 because
it's an obliteration涂去 of another另一个 soul灵魂.
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奴隶制之所以是错的
是因为它试图抹杀一个灵魂。
强奸不仅是对肉体的折磨,
06:29
Rape强奸 is not just an attack攻击
on a bunch of physical物理 molecules分子,
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更是对一个灵魂的亵渎。
06:32
it's an attempt尝试 to insult侮辱
another另一个 person's人的 soul灵魂.
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灵魂渴求的是正义。
06:34
And what the soul灵魂 does
is it yearns渴望 for righteousness.
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06:38
The heart yearns渴望 for fusion聚变 with another另一个,
the soul灵魂 yearns渴望 for righteousness.
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心之所求是与另一颗心的融合,
而灵魂之所求则是正义。
这也让我意识到第三件事,
这里我借用爱因斯坦的话:
06:41
And that led to my third第三 realization实现,
which哪一个 I borrowed from Einstein爱因斯坦:
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06:45
"The problem问题 you have
is not going to be solved解决了
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“用产生问题的
思维解决问题
是行不通的。
06:48
at the level水平 of consciousness意识
on which哪一个 you created创建 it.
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06:50
You have to expand扩大
to a different不同 level水平 of consciousness意识."
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你要拓展思维至新的层次”。
那么我们应该怎么办呢?
06:54
So what do you do?
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第一件事是,让自己
全身投入于朋友之间,
06:56
Well, the first thing you do
is you throw yourself你自己 on your friends朋友
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与他们进行从未有过的深层交谈。
06:59
and you have deeper更深 conversations对话
that you ever had before.
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第二件事有些不同,
07:02
But the second第二 thing you do,
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你需要独自融入大自然。
07:03
you have to go out alone单独
into the wilderness荒野.
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你需要去到一个地方,
在那儿没有任何人会是你的观众,
07:05
You go out into that place地点
where there's nobody没有人 there to perform演出,
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在这里你的自尊心
毫无用处并逐渐粉碎,
07:08
and the ego自我 has nothing to do,
and it crumbles崩溃,
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只有那时,你才可以被爱。
07:11
and only then are you capable
of being存在 loved喜爱.
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07:13
I have a friend朋友 who said
that when her daughter女儿 was born天生,
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我有一个朋友告诉我,
当她女儿出生时,
她意识到,她爱女儿多过于进化所需。
07:17
she realized实现 that she loved喜爱 her
more than evolution演化 required需要.
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07:21
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
我太喜欢这句话了。
07:22
And I've always loved喜爱 that.
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07:23
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
因为它讲述的是我们
内心深处的平静,
07:24
Because it talks会谈 about the peace和平
that's at the deep of ourself我们自己,
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我们对彼此难以言述的关心。
07:27
our inexplicable费解的 care关心 for one another另一个.
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07:30
And when you touch触摸 that spot,
you're ready准备 to be rescued获救.
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当你触及那个层次,
你就可以被救赎了。
07:33
The hard thing about
when you're in the valley
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当你处在低谷中时,
最难的事莫过于
无法独自爬出这个低洼;
07:37
is that you can't climb out;
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有人需要伸出援手,将你拉出。
07:38
somebody has to reach达到 in and pull you out.
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07:41
It happened发生 to me.
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这也发生在了我身上。
07:42
I got, luckily, invited邀请 over to a house
by a couple一对 named命名 Kathy凯西 and David大卫,
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我有幸被凯茜和大卫夫妇邀请
07:46
and they were --
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去他们家。
07:48
They had a kid孩子 in the DCDC
public上市 school学校, his name's名字的 Santi圣地.
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他们的孩子桑提在
华盛顿的公立学校读书。
桑提的一个朋友
需要找个地方住,
07:50
Santi圣地 had a friend朋友
who needed需要 a place地点 to stay
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因为他的妈妈有些健康问题。
07:53
because his mom妈妈 had some health健康 issues问题.
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而那个朋友也认识个
需要帮助的朋友,以此类推。
07:54
And then that kid孩子 had a friend朋友
and that kid孩子 had a friend朋友.
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07:57
When I went to their house six years年份 ago,
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当我去到他们家做客时,
07:59
I walk步行 in the door, there's like
25 around the kitchen厨房 table,
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我走进门,餐桌旁
坐着二十五个人,
还有一些正在地下室睡着。
08:02
a whole整个 bunch sleeping睡眠
downstairs楼下 in the basement地下室.
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我正要向一个孩子做自我介绍,
08:04
I reach达到 out to introduce介绍 myself to a kid孩子,
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08:07
and he says, "We don't really
shake hands here.
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他说道,
“我们这儿可不流行握手,
08:10
We just hug拥抱 here."
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抱一个吧。“
08:12
And I'm not the huggiest拥抱 guy
on the face面对 of the earth地球,
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我虽不是地球上
最喜欢拥抱的人,
08:15
but I've been going back to that home
every一切 Thursday星期四 night when I'm in town,
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但有着什么一直吸引着我,
在每周四去到他们家时,
与这些孩子一个个拥抱问好。
08:18
and just hugging拥抱 all those kids孩子.
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他们想与你亲密无间。
08:20
They demand需求 intimacy亲密关系.
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他们需要你完全放开自我。
08:22
They demand需求 that you behave表现 in a way
where you're showing展示 all the way up.
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08:26
And they teach you a new way to live生活,
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他们教会你一种全新的生活方式,
08:28
which哪一个 is the cure治愈
for all the ills弊病 of our culture文化
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可以治愈所有文化之殇,
这其实很简单,就是将
人际关系放在第一位,
08:30
which哪一个 is a way of direct直接 --
really putting relationship关系 first,
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并非空谈,而要实践。
08:33
not just as a word, but as a reality现实.
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08:37
And the beautiful美丽 thing is,
these communities社区 are everywhere到处.
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而最美好之处就是,
这种团体无处不在。
我在阿斯彭研究所建立了
“织:社会之网”。
08:41
I started开始 something at the Aspen阿斯彭 Institute研究所
called "Weave编织: The Social社会 Fabric."
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这是我们的标志。
08:45
This is our logo商标 here.
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我们发现身边有很多织网者。
08:46
And we plop扑通 into a place地点 and we find
weavers织工 anywhere随地, everywhere到处.
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08:50
We find people like Asiaha亚沙 Butler男管家,
who grew成长 up in --
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像是艾依莎·巴特勒 --
08:54
who lived生活 in Chicago芝加哥, in Englewood恩格尔伍德,
in a tough强硬 neighborhood邻里.
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她居住在芝加哥的英格伍德,
那是一个危险的街区。
因为身处危险地段,
她正想要搬家,
08:56
And she was about to move移动
because it was so dangerous危险,
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09:00
and she looked看着 across横过 the street
and she saw two little girls女孩
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但她看到路对边,
有两个小女孩
在空停车场里玩碎瓶子。
09:03
playing播放 in an empty lot
with broken破碎 bottles瓶子,
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她转头和她丈夫说,
“我们不搬了。
09:05
and she turned转身 to her husband丈夫
and she said, "We're not leaving离开.
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09:08
We're not going to be just another另一个 family家庭
that abandon放弃 that."
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我们不能像其他家庭那样
一走了之,丢下这里不管。”
她马上搜索了“英格伍德志愿者”,
现在她管理着“R.A.G.E”,
09:11
And she Googled谷歌搜索 "volunteer志愿者 in Englewood恩格尔伍德,"
and now she runs运行 R.A.G.E.,
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那里最大的社区组织。
09:14
the big community社区 organization组织 there.
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09:16
Some of these people
have had tough强硬 valleys山谷.
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很多人都经历过人生的低谷。
09:19
I met会见 a woman女人 named命名 Sarah莎拉 in Ohio俄亥俄州
who came来了 home from an antiquing古董 trip
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我遇见一个叫莎拉的女士,
她在一段古董之旅结束回家后,
发现她丈夫杀了她的
两个孩子后自杀了。
09:23
and found发现 that her husband丈夫
had killed杀害 himself他自己 and their two kids孩子.
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09:27
She now runs运行 a free自由 pharmacy药店,
she volunteers志愿者 in the community社区,
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她现在管理一所免费药房,
在社区里积极做志愿工作,
09:31
she helps帮助 women妇女 cope应付
with violence暴力, she teaches.
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帮助并教其他女性处理暴力事件,
09:34
She told me, "I grew成长 from this
experience经验 because I was angry愤怒.
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“我能从这段经历里成长,
是因为我很愤怒”,她说,
“我要反击并通过改变这个世界
09:37
I was going to fight斗争 back against反对
what he tried试着 to do to me
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来向他宣战。
09:40
by making制造 a difference区别 in the world世界.
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他没能杀了我。
09:41
See, he didn't kill me.
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我想对他说,
09:43
My response响应 to him is,
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‘无论你怎样试图伤害我,
去你的,你就是不行。' "
09:45
'Whatever随你 you meant意味着 to do to me,
screw you, you're not going to do it.'"
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09:50
These weavers织工 are not living活的
an individualistic个人主义的 life,
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这些织网者都不以
个人主义的方式生活,
他们重视人际关系,
有一套不同的价值观。
09:53
they're living活的 a relationist关系主义者 life,
they have a different不同 set of values.
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他们充满道德积极性。
09:56
They have moral道德 motivations动机.
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09:58
They have vocational专业 certitude确定性,
they have planted种植的 themselves他们自己 down.
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他们愿意发声,
他们平易近人。
我曾在俄亥俄州的
扬斯敦遇见一个人,
10:01
I met会见 a guy in Youngstown扬斯敦, Ohio俄亥俄州,
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他当时在镇中心
举着一块牌子,
10:03
who just held保持 up a sign标志
in the town square广场,
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上面写着:“捍卫扬斯敦”。
10:05
"Defend捍卫 Youngstown扬斯敦."
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他们有着超前的集体感,
10:06
They have radical激进 mutuality相互关系,
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他们是人际关系方面天才。
10:08
and they are geniuses天才 at relationship关系.
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10:11
There's a woman女人 named命名 Mary玛丽 Gordon戈登
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有一位叫玛丽·戈登的女士
运营着“同理心种子计划”。
10:12
who runs运行 something
called Roots of Empathy同情.
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他们聚集一群八年级的孩子,
10:15
And what they do is they take
a bunch of kids孩子, an eighth第八 grade年级 class,
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找到一对母婴,
10:18
they put a mom妈妈 and an infant婴儿,
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10:20
and then the students学生们 have to guess猜测
what the infant婴儿 is thinking思维,
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并让这些学生猜
婴儿在想些什么,
10:23
to teach empathy同情.
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由此来培养他们的同理心。
10:24
There was one kid孩子 in a class
who was bigger than the rest休息
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课上有一个孩子,
看起来比其他人都要大,
他留了几级并且
一直住在寄养家庭,
10:27
because he'd他会 been held保持 back,
been through通过 the foster培育 care关心 system系统,
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他亲眼目睹了他母亲被杀。
10:31
seen看到 his mom妈妈 get killed杀害.
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10:32
And he wanted to hold保持 the baby宝宝.
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他想要抱抱这个婴儿。
那个妈妈有些紧张,因为男孩
人高马大,有些吓人。
10:34
And the mom妈妈 was nervous紧张
because he looked看着 big and scary害怕.
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但她仍让这个名叫
达伦的男孩抱了婴儿。
10:37
But she let this kid孩子,
Darren达伦, hold保持 the baby宝宝.
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他抱着小孩,做得特别棒。
10:39
He held保持 it, and he was great with it.
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10:43
He gave the baby宝宝 back and started开始
asking questions问题 about parenthood父母.
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他把孩子递还给了妈妈,
开始问有关当父母的问题。
10:47
And his final最后 question was,
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他最后的问题是,
“若从没有人爱过你,
你还可能成为一个好父亲吗?”
10:48
"If nobody没有人 has ever loved喜爱 you,
do you think you can be a good father父亲?"
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10:52
And so what Roots of Empathy同情 does
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这就是“同理心种子计划”的力量,
10:54
is they reach达到 down and they grab
people out of the valley.
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他们伸出援手,
将人拉出低谷。
这也是织网者所做的。
10:57
And that's what weavers织工 are doing.
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11:01
Some of them switch开关 jobs工作.
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他们中的一些人换了工作。
11:03
Some of them stay in their same相同 jobs工作.
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另一些会待在同一个岗位上。
11:06
But one thing is,
they have an intensity强度 to them.
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但他们都有着同样的热情。
11:09
I read this --
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我正在读 --
11:11
E.O. Wilson威尔逊 wrote a great book
called "Naturalist自然主义," about his childhood童年.
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E·O·威尔森写的一本关于
他童年的书,叫《自然主义者》。
11:17
When he was seven,
his parents父母 were divorcing离婚.
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他七岁时,他的父母要离婚。
11:21
And they sent发送 him
to Paradise天堂 Beach海滩 in North Florida佛罗里达.
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他们把他送到
北佛罗里达的天堂滩。
他从未见过海洋。
11:24
And he'd他会 never seen看到 the ocean海洋 before.
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1836
11:26
And he'd他会 never seen看到 a jellyfish海蜇 before.
250
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2331
没见过水母。
他写道: “这种生物太惊奇了。
它存在于我想象力之外”。
11:29
He wrote, "The creature生物 was astonishing惊人.
It existed存在 beyond my imagination想像力."
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4091
11:33
He was sitting坐在 on the dock码头 one day
252
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有天,他坐在码头上,
看到一条魟鱼在他脚下游过。
11:35
and he saw a stingray黄貂鱼
float浮动 beneath下面 his feet.
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2737
11:38
And at that moment时刻, a naturalist博物 was born天生
in the awe威严 and wonder奇迹.
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那一刻,在敬畏和惊奇中,
一个自然主义者诞生了。
11:42
And he makes品牌 this observation意见:
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他发现,
11:44
that when you're a child儿童,
256
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当你是个孩子时,
会把动物看作
大人眼中两倍大。
11:45
you see animals动物 at twice两次 the size尺寸
as you do as an adult成人.
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11:50
And that has always impressed印象深刻 me,
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这打动了我,
因为我们所需的正是
孩子所有的强烈道德感,
11:51
because what we want as kids孩子
is that moral道德 intensity强度,
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让我们完全臣服于某物,
11:56
to be totally完全 given特定 ourselves我们自己
over to something
260
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2944
找到那种使命感。
11:59
and to find that level水平 of vocation职业.
261
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2334
12:02
And when you are around these weavers织工,
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当你身边围绕着这些织网者时,
12:04
they see other people
at twice两次 the size尺寸 as normal正常 people.
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他们会将别人看作两倍大,
12:07
They see deeper更深 into them.
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他们看人更深,
12:09
And what they see is joy喜悦.
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他们看到乐趣。
12:13
On the first mountain of our life,
when we're shooting射击 for our career事业,
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在人生第一座大山上,
我们的事业刚刚起步时,
12:16
we shoot射击 for happiness幸福.
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我们追逐的是幸福感。
12:19
And happiness幸福 is good,
it's the expansion扩张 of self.
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幸福感是不错,
它是自我的膨胀。
你赢了一场战役,
12:22
You win赢得 a victory胜利,
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12:24
you get a promotion提升,
your team球队 wins the Super Bowl,
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你升职了,你的队伍
赢得了超级碗,
你很开心。
12:28
you're happy快乐.
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12:30
Joy喜悦 is not the expansion扩张 of self,
it's the dissolving溶解 of self.
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但乐趣不是自我膨胀,
而是自我溶解。
12:34
It's the moment时刻 when the skin皮肤 barrier屏障
disappears消失 between之间 a mother母亲 and her child儿童,
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乐趣存在于母亲和她孩子
之间再无肌肤之隔时,
乐趣会在一个自然主义者
在大自然中放飞自我时出现。
12:39
it's the moment时刻 when a naturalist博物
feels感觉 just free自由 in nature性质.
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12:43
It's the moment时刻 where you're so lost丢失
in your work or a cause原因,
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当你完全沉浸在工作和事业中,
乐趣会在你忘乎自我时找到你。
12:46
you have totally完全 self-forgotten自我遗忘.
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12:48
And joy喜悦 is a better thing
to aim目标 for than happiness幸福.
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寻找乐趣比追逐幸福更好。
我一直在收集人们
描写乐趣的文字。
12:51
I collect搜集 passages通道 of joy喜悦,
of people when they lose失去 it.
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其中我最喜欢的是
扎迪·史密斯写的一段。
12:54
One of my favorite喜爱 is from Zadie扎迪 Smith工匠.
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2247
12:56
In 1999, she was in a London伦敦 nightclub夜店,
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1999年,她在伦敦的一家夜店,
13:00
looking for her friends朋友,
wondering想知道 where her handbag手提包 was.
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她一边寻找她的的朋友,
一边在找自己的手袋。
13:03
And suddenly突然, as she writes,
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她写道,“突然间,
13:05
"... a rail-thin轨薄 man with enormous巨大 eyes眼睛
reached到达 across横过 a sea of bodies身体
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一个有着大眼睛的精瘦男人
13:08
for my hand.
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越过人海,向我伸出手。
13:10
He kept不停 asking me the same相同 thing
over and over, 'Are'是 you feeling感觉 it?'
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他一遍遍地问我同一个问题,
‘你感受到了吗?’
我正受着高跟鞋的折磨,
担心着我的人身安全,
13:13
My ridiculous荒谬 heels脚跟 were killing谋杀 me,
I was terrified that I might威力 die,
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13:17
yet然而 I felt simultaneously同时
overwhelmed不堪重负 with delight
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但同时,我心中充满了喜悦,
因为 ‘Can I Kick It?’ 这首歌
13:20
that 'Can'可以 I Kick It?'
should happen发生 to be playing播放
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正好在人类历史的
这个特定时刻
13:22
on this precise精确 moment时刻
in the history历史 of the world世界
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在这家夜店的音响中播出,
13:24
on the sound声音 system系统,
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13:26
and it was now morphing变形
into 'Teen'青少年 Spirit精神.'
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现在,正慢慢渐进到
‘Teen Spirit’ 这首歌。
我握住了那个男人的手,
我完全被震住了,
13:28
I took the man's男人的 hand,
the top最佳 of my head blew自爆 away,
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我们不停地跳着舞,无比快乐”。
13:31
we danced跳舞, we danced跳舞,
we gave ourselves我们自己 up to joy喜悦."
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13:35
And so what I'm trying to describe描述
is two different不同 life mindsets心态.
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所以说,我尝试描述的
是两种生活方式。
13:39
The first mountain mindset心态, which哪一个 is about
individual个人 happiness幸福 and career事业 success成功.
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第一种“登山模式”有关
个人幸福和事业成功。
13:44
And it's a good mindset心态,
I have nothing against反对 it.
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我不反对这种价值观,
因为它没什么问题。
但我们的国家正处在低谷中,
13:47
But we're in a national国民 valley,
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正因为我们缺少另一种
生活方式来维持平衡。
13:49
because we don't have
the other mindset心态 to balance平衡 it.
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我们不再为自己感到高兴,
13:52
We no longer feel good
about ourselves我们自己 as a people,
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13:54
we've我们已经 lost丢失 our defining确定
faith信仰 in our future未来,
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我们已失去了对未来的信念,
我们不再与人交往颇深,
我们不再友善地对待他人。
13:57
we don't see each other deeply,
we don't treat对待 each other as well.
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825553
3382
14:01
And we need a lot of changes变化.
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1991
我们急需改变。
14:03
We need an economic经济 change更改
and environmental环境的 change更改.
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我们需要经济和环境的改变。
14:06
But we also need a cultural文化
and relational相关的 revolution革命.
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但我们同时也需要文化
和社会关系上的革命。
14:09
We need to name名称 the language语言
of a recovered恢复 society社会.
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我们需要一种语言来
描述这个正在恢复的社会。
14:14
And to me, the weavers织工
have found发现 that language语言.
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2738
对我来说,织网者
找到了这一语言。
14:17
My theory理论 of social社会 change更改
is that society社会 changes变化
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3101
我认为,社会改变在于
14:20
when a small group of people
find a better way to live生活,
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一些人找到更好的生活方式,
而其他人效仿。
14:23
and the rest休息 of us copy复制 them.
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1675
14:25
And these weavers织工 have found发现
a better way to live生活.
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2638
这些织网者已经找到了
一个更好的生活方式。
你无须将它理论化。
14:28
And you don't have to theorize about it.
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1953
他们作为团体的建造者
遍布在这个国家的每个角落。
14:30
They are out there as community社区 builders建设者
all around the country国家.
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14:34
We just have to shift转移 our lives生活 a little,
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2277
我们只需稍微
改变一下自己的生活,
这样我们就能说,
“我是一个织网者,我们都是织网者。”
14:36
so we can say, "I'm a weaver韦弗,
we're a weaver韦弗."
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2731
14:39
And if we do that,
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当我们都这样做时,
14:42
the hole inside ourselves我们自己 gets得到 filled填充,
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2349
我们内心的空虚将被填补,
更重要的是,
整个社会将被修复。
14:44
but more important重要,
the social社会 unity统一 gets得到 repaired修复.
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谢谢。
14:47
Thank you very much.
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(掌声)
14:48
(Applause掌声)
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Translated by Cissy Yun
Reviewed by Ziyao Wang

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
David Brooks - Op-ed columnist
Writer and thinker David Brooks has covered business, crime and politics over a long career in journalism.

Why you should listen

David Brooks became an Op-Ed columnist for The New York Times in September 2003. He is currently a commentator on "The PBS Newshour," NPR’s "All Things Considered" and NBC's "Meet the Press."

He is the author of Bobos in Paradise and The Social Animal. In April 2015, he released with his fourth book, The Road to Character, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller.

Brooks also teaches at Yale University, and is a member of the American Academy of Arts & Sciences.

Born on August 11, 1961 in Toronto, Canada, Brooks graduated a bachelor of history from the University of Chicago in 1983. He became a police reporter for the City News Bureau, a wire service owned jointly by the Chicago Tribune and Sun-Times.

He worked at The Washington Times and then The Wall Street Journal for nine years. His last post at the Journal was as Op-ed Editor. Prior to that, he was posted in Brussels, covering Russia, the Middle East, South Africa and European affairs. His first post at the Journal was as editor of the book review section, and he filled in as the Journal's movie critic.

He also served as a senior editor at The Weekly Standard for 9 years, as well as contributing editor for The Atlantic and Newsweek.

More profile about the speaker
David Brooks | Speaker | TED.com