TED@BCG Paris
Leila Hoteit: 3 lessons on success from an Arab businesswoman
蕾拉·赫提特: 來自阿拉伯女實業家的三個關於成功的告誡
Filmed:
Readability: 4.2
3,853,231 views
職業的阿拉伯女性比她們的另一半兼顧更多責任，而她們面對比西方女性更劇的文化頑固性。她們的成功能在堅持、競爭、優先權和進步發展等方面帶給我們什麼啟示?在阿布達比，追溯自己在現代世界作為工程師、出庭律師與母親的生涯，Leila Hoteit分享了她在成功路上的三條經驗。
Leila Hoteit - Women's advocate
BCG's Leila Hoteit specializes in human capital and education throughout the Middle East. Full bio
BCG's Leila Hoteit specializes in human capital and education throughout the Middle East. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
"Mom, who are these people?"
0
880
1920
「媽媽，這些人是誰?」
00:15
It was an innocent question
from my young daughter Alia
from my young daughter Alia
1
3480
2616
這是來自我小女兒Alia的天真的疑問，
00:18
around the time when she was three.
2
6120
2136
大概是在她三歲的時候。
00:20
We were walking along with my husband
3
8280
2096
我們正與我丈夫走在一塊，
00:22
in one of Abu Dhabi's big fancy malls.
4
10400
2776
在阿布達比的某一間大型豪華購物中心中。
00:25
Alia was peering at a huge poster
standing tall in the middle of the mall.
standing tall in the middle of the mall.
5
13200
4296
Alia仔細端詳著立在購物中心中央的巨幅海報。
00:29
It featured the three rulers
of the United Arab Emirates.
of the United Arab Emirates.
6
17520
3360
它標示著三位阿拉伯聯合大公國的統治者。
00:33
As she tucked in my side,
7
21760
1456
當她拽著我的衣角，
00:35
I bent down and explained
that these were the rulers of the UAE
that these were the rulers of the UAE
8
23240
3216
我彎下身然後描述著這就是阿拉伯聯合大公國的統治者，
00:38
who had worked hard
to develop their nation
to develop their nation
9
26480
2256
他們很努力地發展他們的國家，
00:40
and preserve its unity.
10
28760
1240
保持他們的團結性。
00:43
She asked, "Mom, why is it
that here where we live,
that here where we live,
11
31040
3856
她問說:「媽媽，為什麼這裡，我們住的地方，
00:46
and back in Lebanon,
where grandma and grandpa live,
where grandma and grandpa live,
12
34920
2656
和黎巴嫩(Lebanon)，爺爺跟奶奶住的地方，
00:49
we never see the pictures
of powerful women on the walls?
of powerful women on the walls?
13
37600
3136
我們從沒有看過在牆上有厲害的女人的圖片？
00:52
Is it because women are not important?"
14
40760
1880
這是因為女人不重要嗎?」
00:56
This is probably the hardest question
I've had to answer in my years as a parent
I've had to answer in my years as a parent
15
44040
3816
這大概是我身為父母以及16年多的職業生涯中
00:59
and in my 16-plus years
of professional life, for that matter.
of professional life, for that matter.
16
47880
3440
曾回答過的最困難的問題了。
01:04
I had grown up in my hometown in Lebanon,
17
52120
2976
我在我的家鄉黎巴嫩(Lebanon)長大，
01:07
the younger of two daughters
to a very hard-working pilot
to a very hard-working pilot
18
55120
3456
是兩個女兒中的小女兒，
父親是努力工作的飛行員，
父親是努力工作的飛行員，
01:10
and director of operations
for the Lebanese Airlines
for the Lebanese Airlines
19
58600
3616
同時也是黎巴嫩航空的操作總監。
01:14
and a super-supportive
stay-at-home mom and grandma.
stay-at-home mom and grandma.
20
62240
2800
有個超級顧家的母親與祖母。
01:17
My father had encouraged
my sister and I to pursue our education
my sister and I to pursue our education
21
65960
4096
我的父親很鼓勵我們求學，
01:22
even though our culture
emphasized at the time
emphasized at the time
22
70080
3296
即使我們的文化，特別強調在那個時間點，
01:25
that it was sons and not daughters
who should be professionally motivated.
who should be professionally motivated.
23
73400
4000
那是只有兒子而不是女兒應該要被啟發的(職業積極性)。
01:30
I was one of very few girls
of my generation
of my generation
24
78840
2176
我是在我那個年代極少數女孩的其中一個，
01:33
who left home at 18 to study abroad.
25
81040
2400
在18歲離開家出國念書。
01:36
My father didn't have a son,
26
84480
1816
我的父親沒有兒子，
01:38
and so I, in a sense, became his.
27
86320
3000
所以，在某種意義上來說，我變成了兒子。
01:42
Fast-forward a couple of decades,
and I hope I didn't do too badly
and I hope I didn't do too badly
28
90880
3696
快轉數十年，我希望我沒有做得太差，
01:46
in making my father proud
of his would-be son.
of his would-be son.
29
94600
2600
在讓我父親以他試圖打造的「兒子」為傲的方面。
01:50
As I got my Bachelor's and PhD
in electrical engineering,
in electrical engineering,
30
98680
3136
當我電子工程方面取得學士與博士學位，
01:53
did R&D in the UK,
then consulting in the Middle East,
then consulting in the Middle East,
31
101840
2840
在英國從事研發，
此外在中東諮詢，
此外在中東諮詢，
01:57
I have always been
in male-dominated environments.
in male-dominated environments.
32
105360
2600
我總是處在男權至上的環境。
02:00
Truth be told, I have never found
a role model I could truly identify with.
a role model I could truly identify with.
33
108720
4480
老實說，我從未找到能讓我共鳴的榜樣。
02:06
My mother's generation
wasn't into professional leadership.
wasn't into professional leadership.
34
114240
2762
我母親的年代對職業的領導地位不感興趣。
02:09
There were some
encouraging men along the way,
encouraging men along the way,
35
117880
2176
在我的經歷中遇見過很多激勵並鼓舞人心的男士，
02:12
but none knew the demands
and pressures I was facing,
and pressures I was facing,
36
120080
3160
但沒有人知道我當時正面對的需求與壓力。
02:16
pressures that got particularly acute
when I had my own two beautiful children.
when I had my own two beautiful children.
37
124000
4639
當我擁有兩個美麗的小孩時，這壓力變得特別嚴重。
02:21
And although Western women love to give us
poor, oppressed Arab women advice,
poor, oppressed Arab women advice,
38
129759
4561
而雖然西方女性喜歡給予貧窮的、
受欺壓的阿拉伯女性忠告，
受欺壓的阿拉伯女性忠告，
02:27
they live different lives
with different constraints.
with different constraints.
39
135160
2760
但她們過著不一樣的生活，
有著不一樣的束縛。
有著不一樣的束縛。
02:31
So Arab women of my generation
have had to become our own role models.
have had to become our own role models.
40
139120
4096
所以我這一代的阿拉伯女性不得不成為我們的楷模。
02:35
We have had to juggle more than Arab men,
41
143240
2256
我們不得不比阿拉伯男性兼顧更多，
02:37
and we have had to face
more cultural rigidity than Western women.
more cultural rigidity than Western women.
42
145520
3360
我們也不得不去面對比起西方女性會遇到的更頑固的文化。
02:41
As a result, I would like to think
that we poor, oppressed women
that we poor, oppressed women
43
149720
4096
到最後，我想，對於我們這些貧窮、受壓迫的女性
02:45
actually have some useful,
certainly hard-earned lessons to share,
certainly hard-earned lessons to share,
44
153840
3480
確實有一些實用的、來之不易的經驗能夠去分享，
02:50
lessons that might turn out useful
45
158000
2016
這些經驗可能很有用，
02:52
for anyone wishing to thrive
in the modern world.
in the modern world.
46
160040
2560
對任何一位希望在這現代化的世界成長茁壯的人。
02:55
Here are three of mine.
47
163440
1296
我這裡有三個經驗分享。
02:56
["Convert their sh*t into your fuel."]
48
164760
1856
「轉換他們的負面能量成為你的動力。」
02:58
(Laughter)
49
166640
1216
(笑聲)
02:59
(Applause)
50
167880
1800
(掌聲)
03:06
There is this word that everybody
is touting as the key to success:
is touting as the key to success:
51
174280
4376
每個人都認為這是成功的金鑰匙：
03:10
resilience.
52
178680
1240
適應性。
03:12
Well, what exactly is resilience,
and how do you develop it?
and how do you develop it?
53
180520
3040
恩，什麼是適應性，你要怎麼發展適應性呢？
03:16
I believe resilience is simply
the ability to transform shit into fuel.
the ability to transform shit into fuel.
54
184640
5160
我相信適應性簡單來說就是
把負面能量轉換成自身動力的能力
把負面能量轉換成自身動力的能力
03:23
In my previous job,
well before my current firm,
well before my current firm,
55
191640
2816
在進入我現在這間公司之前，
在我的工作中，
在我的工作中，
03:26
I was working with a man
we will call John.
we will call John.
56
194480
2120
我與一個男人共事，
我們稱他約翰好了。
我們稱他約翰好了。
03:29
I had teamed up with John
and was working hard,
and was working hard,
57
197400
2416
我跟約翰組成一組，
很努力地工作，
很努力地工作，
03:31
hoping he would notice how great I was
58
199840
1976
希望他能注意到我很能幹。
03:33
and that he would come to support
my case to make partner at the firm.
my case to make partner at the firm.
59
201840
3320
而他能夠幫助我的業務並成為我的公司夥伴。
03:38
I was, in addition to delivering
on my consulting projects,
on my consulting projects,
60
206040
3176
此外，我正集中完成我的諮詢項目，
03:41
writing passionately on the topic
of women economic empowerment.
of women economic empowerment.
61
209240
3160
情緒激昂地著手寫著關於
女性經濟自主的主題。
女性經濟自主的主題。
03:45
One day, I got to present my research
to a roomful of MBA students.
to a roomful of MBA students.
62
213880
4040
有一天，我給滿屋子的工商管理學的碩士生
呈現我的研究成果。
呈現我的研究成果。
03:50
John was part of the audience
63
218560
1576
約翰是其中的聽眾，
03:52
listening for the first time
to the details of my study.
to the details of my study.
64
220160
2640
第一次聆聽我的研究細節。
03:56
As I proceeded with my presentation,
65
224000
2296
當我在進行陳述時，
03:58
I could see John in the corner of my eye.
66
226320
2200
我眼角可以看到約翰。
04:01
He had turned a dark shade of pink
67
229000
2536
他的臉變成暗粉紅色，
04:03
and had slid under his chair
in apparent shame.
in apparent shame.
68
231560
2800
因為明顯的羞愧而滑下他的椅子。
04:07
I finished my presentation
to an applauding audience
to an applauding audience
69
235840
2456
我在充滿掌聲的觀眾中完成了演講，
04:10
and we rushed out and jumped into the car.
70
238320
2080
而我們快速離開並跳上車子。
04:13
There he exploded.
71
241480
1880
在那裡他大發雷霆。
04:16
"What you did up there was unacceptable!
72
244040
2176
「你做的事情是不可接受的！
04:18
You are a consultant, not an activist!"
73
246240
2200
你是個顧問，不是個激進主義分子！」
04:21
I said, "John, I don't understand.
74
249600
2456
我說「約翰，我不明白。
04:24
I presented a couple of
gender parity indices,
gender parity indices,
75
252080
3656
我展示了數個
性別待遇平等指數，
性別待遇平等指數，
04:27
and some conclusions about the Arab world.
76
255760
2055
和一些關於阿拉伯世界的結論。
04:29
Yes, we do happen to be today
at the bottom of the index,
at the bottom of the index,
77
257839
2976
是的，我們現在碰巧地是在這指數的底部，
04:32
but what is it that I said or presented
that was not factual?"
that was not factual?"
78
260839
3201
但是有什麼我說的是不符合事實的地方嗎？」
04:37
To which he replied,
"The whole premise of your study is wrong.
"The whole premise of your study is wrong.
79
265040
4056
他回答，「你研究的所有前提都是錯的。
04:41
What you are doing is dangerous and will
break the social fabric of our society."
break the social fabric of our society."
80
269120
3840
你正在做的事情很危險而且將會
破壞我們的社會結構。」
破壞我們的社會結構。」
04:45
He paused, then added,
81
273720
2376
他停了下來，又補充，
04:48
"When women have children,
their place is in the home."
their place is in the home."
82
276120
3400
「當女人有小孩，
他們歸屬就是在家裡面。」
他們歸屬就是在家裡面。」
04:53
Time stood still for a long while,
83
281360
2256
好長一會兒，時間彷彿靜止了，
04:55
and all I could think and repeat
in the chaos of my brain was:
in the chaos of my brain was:
84
283640
3696
而在混亂中，我腦中想的與重複的是：
04:59
"You can forget about
that partnership, Leila.
that partnership, Leila.
85
287360
2176
「你可以忘記那個夥伴關係，蕾拉。
05:01
It's just never going to happen."
86
289560
1572
這樣下去不會有什麼結果的。」
05:04
It took me a couple of days to fully
absorb this incident and its implications,
absorb this incident and its implications,
87
292680
3896
這讓我花了幾天去完全消化這件事與它的含義，
05:08
but once I did,
I reached three conclusions.
I reached three conclusions.
88
296600
2640
但最後，
我得到三個結論。
我得到三個結論。
05:12
One, that these were his issues,
89
300160
2536
第一，那是他的問題，
05:14
his complexes.
90
302720
1496
他的病態心理。
05:16
There may be many like him in our society,
91
304240
2056
在我們的社會中存在著很多像他一樣的人，
05:18
but I would never let
their issues become mine.
their issues become mine.
92
306320
2200
他們的觀點我絕不會苟同。
05:21
Two, that I needed
another sponsor, and fast.
another sponsor, and fast.
93
309400
2936
第二，我需要其他的支持者，而且要快。
05:24
(Laughter)
94
312360
1216
(笑聲)
05:25
I got one, by the way,
and boy, was he great.
and boy, was he great.
95
313600
2216
順帶一提，
我找到了另一半，他真的很棒。
我找到了另一半，他真的很棒。
05:27
And three, that I would get to show John
what women with children can do.
what women with children can do.
96
315840
4416
而第三，我要展示給約翰，
有小孩的女人可以做什麼。
有小孩的女人可以做什麼。
05:32
I apply this lesson equally well
to my personal life.
to my personal life.
97
320280
3416
這個經驗在我的個人生活中也是一樣好用。
05:35
As I have progressed in my career,
98
323720
1776
當我在職業上有進展時，
05:37
I have received many words
of encouragement,
of encouragement,
99
325520
2456
我得到很多言語的鼓勵，
05:40
but I have also often been met
by women, men and couples
by women, men and couples
100
328000
4296
但我也常遇到一些女人、男人與夫妻，
05:44
who have clearly had an issue
with my husband and I
with my husband and I
101
332320
2736
他們很明確地對我們夫婦
選擇雙薪家庭的道路存有質疑。
選擇雙薪家庭的道路存有質疑。
05:47
having chosen the path
of a dual-career couple.
of a dual-career couple.
102
335080
2520
他們很明確地對我們夫婦
選擇雙薪家庭的道路存有質疑。
選擇雙薪家庭的道路存有質疑。
05:50
So you get this well-meaning couple
103
338600
2096
所以你知道這些出於好心的夫婦
05:52
who tells you straight out
at a family gathering
at a family gathering
104
340720
2256
在家庭聚會，
或是在朋友聚會，
或是在朋友聚會，
05:55
or at a friends gathering,
105
343000
1256
直接了當地告訴你，
05:56
that, come on, you must know
you're not a great mom,
you're not a great mom,
106
344280
2429
哎呀，你必須知道你不是個好媽媽，
05:58
given how much you're investing
in your career, right?
in your career, right?
107
346733
2560
投資了多少在你的職業生涯，對吧?
06:02
I would lie if I said
these words didn't hurt.
these words didn't hurt.
108
350720
2696
如果我說這些言語不傷人，那我絕對在說謊。
06:05
My children are the most
precious thing to me,
precious thing to me,
109
353440
2456
我的孩子是我最珍視的事情，
06:07
and the thought that I could be
failing them in any way is intolerable.
failing them in any way is intolerable.
110
355920
3680
而要我辜負他們的想法
無論如何都是無法忍受的。
無論如何都是無法忍受的。
06:12
But just like I did with John,
111
360480
1536
但就像我對約翰所做的，
06:14
I quickly reminded myself
that these were their issues,
that these were their issues,
112
362040
3616
我很快地提醒我自己這些都是他們的問題，
06:17
their complexes.
113
365680
1200
他們的自卑心態。
06:19
So instead of replying,
114
367520
1296
所以我不回答他們，
06:20
I gave back one of my largest smiles
115
368840
2296
只是回敬一個我最大的微笑，
06:23
as I saw, in flashing light,
116
371160
1856
當時我看到，在閃爍的光芒下，
06:25
the following sign in my mind's eye.
117
373040
2136
在我腦海中的跡象。
06:27
[Be happy, it drives people crazy.]
118
375200
2056
「要幸福快樂，讓人們嫉妒瘋狂吧。」
06:29
(Applause)
119
377280
2240
(掌聲)
06:34
You see, as a young woman
in these situations, you have two options.
in these situations, you have two options.
120
382760
3336
你們看，作為一個年輕女人遇到這些狀況，你有兩個選擇。
06:38
You can either decide
to internalize these negative messages
to internalize these negative messages
121
386120
2856
你可以決定
去內化這些
去內化這些
06:41
that are being thrown at you,
122
389000
1616
被丟在你身上的負面訊息，
06:42
to let them make you feel like a failure,
123
390640
1976
任憑他們讓你自我貶低，
06:44
like success is way too hard
to ever achieve,
to ever achieve,
124
392640
2576
就像成功是遙不可及般的，
06:47
or you can choose to see that others'
negativity is their own issue,
negativity is their own issue,
125
395240
3416
或者你可以選擇去看待：
別人的負面能量是他們自己的問題，
別人的負面能量是他們自己的問題，
06:50
and instead transform it
into your own personal fuel.
into your own personal fuel.
126
398680
3040
而取而代之地轉換這些
變成你的個人動力。
變成你的個人動力。
06:54
I have learned
to always go for option two,
to always go for option two,
127
402880
3176
我已經學會總是選第二個選擇，
06:58
and I have found that it has taken me
from strength to strength.
from strength to strength.
128
406080
3120
然後我發現這帶領我不斷強大。
07:01
And it's true what they say:
129
409800
1456
而他們說得是正確的：
07:03
success is the best revenge.
130
411280
2160
成功就是最好的復仇
07:06
Some women in the Middle East
131
414960
1416
有些中東的女性
07:08
are lucky enough to be married
to someone supportive of their career.
to someone supportive of their career.
132
416400
3416
夠幸運地可以嫁給某個支持她職業生涯的人。
07:11
Correction: I should say "smart enough,"
133
419840
2456
修正一下「我應該說是『夠聰明』」
07:14
because who you marry is your own choice,
134
422320
2376
因為你嫁的人是你的選擇，
07:16
and you'd better marry someone supportive
if you plan to have a long career.
if you plan to have a long career.
135
424720
3600
而你最好可以嫁給很支持你的人，
如果你計畫要有很長的職業生涯。
如果你計畫要有很長的職業生涯。
07:21
Still today, the Arab man
is not an equal contributor in the home.
is not an equal contributor in the home.
136
429240
4296
時至今日，阿拉伯男姓
在家中仍不是個公平的貢獻者。
在家中仍不是個公平的貢獻者。
07:25
It's simply not expected by our society,
137
433560
2216
在我們的社會簡而易見地不被期待，
07:27
and even frowned upon as not very manly.
138
435800
2440
甚至會因為沒有男人味而被人不滿。
07:31
As for the Arab woman,
our society still assumes
our society still assumes
139
439360
2696
對阿拉伯女性來說，
我們的社會仍然認為
我們的社會仍然認為
07:34
that her primary source of happiness
should be the happiness and prosperity
should be the happiness and prosperity
140
442080
3736
阿拉伯女性主要的幸福快樂
應該來自於
應該來自於
07:37
of her children and husband.
141
445840
1936
她小孩與丈夫的幸福與成功。
07:39
She mostly exists for her family.
142
447800
2440
她幾乎是為了她的家庭而存在。
07:43
Things are changing,
but it will take time.
but it will take time.
143
451160
2576
事態正在改變，
但這會需要些時間。
但這會需要些時間。
07:45
For now, it means
that the professional Arab woman
that the professional Arab woman
144
453760
2496
現在來說，它代表著
職業阿拉伯女性
職業阿拉伯女性
07:48
has to somehow maintain the perfect home,
145
456280
3336
必須以某種方法維持她的完美家庭，
07:51
make sure that her children's every need
is being taken care of
is being taken care of
146
459640
3096
確保她孩子的每個需求都有被照顧到
07:54
and manage her demanding career.
147
462760
2000
然後經營她耗費盡精力的職業生涯。
07:57
To achieve this, I have found the hard way
148
465760
3336
為了完成這項成就，我發現了難處在於
08:01
that you need to apply your hard-earned
professional skills to your personal life.
professional skills to your personal life.
149
469120
4776
你需要在你的私生活中去運用你
得來不易的職業技能。
得來不易的職業技能。
08:05
You need to work your life.
150
473920
1440
你需要巧妙地安排你的生活。
08:08
Here is how I do this in my personal life.
151
476000
2240
以下就是我在我個人生活中做的事.
08:12
One thing to know about the Middle East
152
480998
1858
關於中東需要知道的一件事,
08:14
is that nearly every family
has access to affordable domestic help.
has access to affordable domestic help.
153
482880
3440
就是幾乎每個家庭
都能找到可負擔費用的家務代理。
都能找到可負擔費用的家務代理。
08:19
The challenge therefore becomes
how to recruit effectively.
how to recruit effectively.
154
487320
3000
難題因此變成如何有效地召募(家務代理人)。
08:23
Just like I would in my business life,
I have based the selection
I have based the selection
155
491160
3296
就如同在我的商業生活中，
我很大程度上
我很大程度上
08:26
of who would support me
with my children while I'm at work
with my children while I'm at work
156
494480
3056
根據誰能在我工作時夠幫助我打理孩子來挑選。
根據誰能在我工作時夠幫助我打理孩子來挑選。
08:29
on a strong referral.
157
497560
1200
08:31
Cristina had worked
for four years with my sister
for four years with my sister
158
499280
2936
Cristina曾與我姐姐一同工作4年，
08:34
and the quality of her work
was well-established.
was well-established.
159
502240
2320
而她工作的品質
是受到公認的。
是受到公認的。
08:37
She is now an integral
member of our family,
member of our family,
160
505880
2256
她現在是我們家庭中不可或缺的一員，
08:40
having been with us
since Alia was six months old.
since Alia was six months old.
161
508160
2600
從Alia六個月大的時候就跟我們在一塊了。
08:43
She makes sure that the house
is running smoothly while I'm at work,
is running smoothly while I'm at work,
162
511400
3495
她確保當我在工作時我們家庭運作順暢，
08:46
and I make sure to empower her
163
514919
2216
而我保障她
08:49
in the most optimal conditions
for her and my children,
for her and my children,
164
517159
3177
對她和我的孩子來說，在最佳的狀況下。
08:52
just like I would my best talent at work.
165
520360
2199
就像我用最好的天賦在工作一樣
08:55
This lesson applies
whatever your childcare situation,
whatever your childcare situation,
166
523559
3577
這個經驗很通用，
無論你的小孩的照護狀況事怎樣的，
無論你的小孩的照護狀況事怎樣的，
08:59
whether an au pair, nursery,
167
527160
2416
也不管是年輕女性的換工互惠生，托兒所，
09:01
part-time nanny
that you share with someone else.
that you share with someone else.
168
529600
2336
你與某些人共用的臨時保母。
09:03
Choose very carefully, and empower.
169
531960
2840
請特別小心地選擇，然後賦予他們自主權。
09:08
If you look at my calendar,
170
536040
1336
如果你檢閱我的行事曆，
09:09
you will see every working day
171
537400
1976
你會看到每個工作日，
09:11
one and a half hours
from 7pm to 8:30pm UAE time
from 7pm to 8:30pm UAE time
172
539400
3696
從晚上7點到8點30的一個半小時的阿拉伯聯合大公國時間
09:15
blocked and called "family time."
173
543120
1960
被占據了而且稱作「家庭時間」。
09:17
This is sacred time.
174
545800
1536
這是個神聖的時刻。
09:19
I have done this
ever since Alia was a baby.
ever since Alia was a baby.
175
547360
2400
我從Alia還是嬰兒的時候就這麼做了。
09:23
I do everything in my power
to protect this time
to protect this time
176
551040
2416
我竭盡所能地
去保留這段時間，
去保留這段時間，
09:25
so that I can be home by then
to spend quality time with my children,
to spend quality time with my children,
177
553480
3416
所以我可以在這個時間前回到家
與我的孩子們共度寶貴時光，
與我的孩子們共度寶貴時光，
09:28
asking them about their day,
178
556920
1400
問問他們的日常，
09:31
checking up on homework,
reading them a bedtime story
reading them a bedtime story
179
559360
2896
檢查他們的作業，
給他們讀睡前故事，
給他們讀睡前故事，
09:34
and giving them
lots of kisses and cuddles.
lots of kisses and cuddles.
180
562280
2576
然後給他們
許多的吻和擁抱。
許多的吻和擁抱。
09:36
If I'm traveling,
in whatever the time zone,
in whatever the time zone,
181
564880
2496
如果我正在旅行，
無論在哪個時區，
無論在哪個時區，
09:39
I use Skype to connect with my children
even if I am miles away.
even if I am miles away.
182
567400
3480
我用Skype與孩子們聯繫
即使我在數哩之外。
即使我在數哩之外。
09:44
Our son Burhan is five years old,
183
572200
2056
我們的兒子Burhan現年5歲，
09:46
and he's learning to read
and do basic maths.
and do basic maths.
184
574280
2560
而他正在學習閱讀
和作基礎運算。
和作基礎運算。
09:49
Here's another confession:
185
577920
1576
這是我另一個懺悔：
09:51
I have found that our daughter
is actually more successful
is actually more successful
186
579520
2736
我發現我們的女兒
實際上比起我更成功地
實際上比起我更成功地
09:54
at teaching him these skills than I am.
187
582280
1896
在教他這些技能。
09:56
(Laughter)
188
584200
1720
(笑聲)
09:58
It started as a game, but Alia loves
playing teacher to her little brother,
playing teacher to her little brother,
189
586800
4056
這是從一場遊戲裡開始的，而Alia愛上
去扮演她弟弟的老師，
去扮演她弟弟的老師，
10:02
and I have found that these sessions
actually improve Burhan's literacy,
actually improve Burhan's literacy,
190
590880
5176
而我發現到這些活動
實際上改善了Burhan的讀寫能力，
實際上改善了Burhan的讀寫能力，
10:08
increase Alia's sense of responsibility,
191
596080
2376
增加了Alia的責任感，
10:10
and strengthen the bonding between them,
192
598480
1976
也強化了他們之間的連結，
10:12
a win-win all around.
193
600480
1280
一切是雙贏的局面。
10:15
The successful Arab women I know
194
603520
2216
我所知道的成功的阿拉伯女性
10:17
have each found their unique approach
to working their life
to working their life
195
605760
3136
個個都發現他們獨特的方法
去安排他們的生活，
去安排他們的生活，
10:20
as they continue to shoulder
196
608920
1376
當他們繼續去承擔
10:22
the lion's share
of responsibility in the home.
of responsibility in the home.
197
610320
2696
最大部分的家庭責任的時候。
10:25
But this is not just
about surviving in your dual role
about surviving in your dual role
198
613040
2616
但這不僅僅是關於在你的作為一個職業女性
與一個母親的雙重角色下存活，
與一個母親的雙重角色下存活，
但這不僅僅是關於在你的作為一個職業女性
與一個母親的雙重角色下存活，
與一個母親的雙重角色下存活，
10:27
as a career woman and mother.
199
615680
1696
10:29
This is also about being in the present.
200
617400
2520
這也是關於當下的生活。
10:33
When I am with my children,
201
621000
1856
當我跟孩子在一起時，
10:34
I try to leave work out of our lives.
202
622880
2416
我嘗試讓工作離開我們的生活。
10:37
Instead of worrying about how many minutes
I can spend with them every day,
I can spend with them every day,
203
625320
4016
與其擔心有多少時間
我每天可以陪著他們，
我每天可以陪著他們，
10:41
I focus on turning these minutes
into memorable moments,
into memorable moments,
204
629360
3776
我專注在把這些分分秒秒
都變成難忘的片刻。
都變成難忘的片刻。
10:45
moments where I'm seeing my kids,
205
633160
2216
這些時刻我正在看我的孩子，
10:47
hearing them, connecting with them.
206
635400
1816
聆聽他們，與跟他們連結。
10:49
["Join forces, don't compete."]
207
637240
1776
「一起合作吧，不要彼此鬥爭。」
10:51
Arab women of my generation
have not been very visible
have not been very visible
208
639040
2776
我這代的阿拉伯女性在他們成長時
在大眾眼中不是很引人注目，
在大眾眼中不是很引人注目，
我這代的阿拉伯女性在他們成長時
在大眾眼中不是很引人注目，
在大眾眼中不是很引人注目，
10:53
in the public eye as they grew up.
209
641840
2096
10:55
This explains, I think, to some extent,
210
643960
1896
這些描述，我認為，在某種程度上解釋了
10:57
why you find so few women
in politics in the Arab world.
in politics in the Arab world.
211
645880
2680
為什麼你發現在阿拉伯世界的政治人物中
只有極少數的女性。
只有極少數的女性。
11:01
The upside of this, however,
212
649320
1496
好處是，
11:02
is that we have spent a lot of time
213
650840
2096
我們花費許多時間，
11:04
developing a social skill
behind the scenes,
behind the scenes,
214
652960
2440
在幕後發展社交技巧，
11:09
in coffee shops, in living rooms,
215
657040
1776
在咖啡店，在客廳，
11:10
on the phone,
216
658840
1216
在電話中，
11:12
a social skill that is
very important to success:
very important to success:
217
660080
2776
有一種社交技巧是對成功來說
是非常重要的：
是非常重要的：
11:14
networking.
218
662880
1656
「建立人脈」。
11:16
I would say the average Arab woman
219
664560
1656
我要說一般阿拉伯女性
11:18
has a large network
of friends and acquaintances.
of friends and acquaintances.
220
666240
2536
有很廣的朋友與泛泛之交人脈。
11:20
The majority of those are also women.
221
668800
2000
而大部分也都是女人。
11:24
In the West, it seems like ambitious women
often compare themselves to other women
often compare themselves to other women
222
672400
3976
在西方，有野心的女性似乎
經常把自己跟其他女性做比較，
經常把自己跟其他女性做比較，
11:28
hoping to be noticed as the most
successful woman in the room.
successful woman in the room.
223
676400
3160
希望被注意到是
屋子裡最成功的女人。
屋子裡最成功的女人。
11:32
This leads to the much-spoken-about
competitive behavior
competitive behavior
224
680360
2776
這導致了常被提到的
在職業女性之間的競爭行為。
11:35
between professional women.
225
683160
1320
11:37
If there's only room
for one woman at the top,
for one woman at the top,
226
685560
2176
如果只有容得下一位最優異女性的空間，
11:39
then you can't make room for others,
much less lift them up.
much less lift them up.
227
687760
2840
那你不能為其他人挪出空間，
更不用說激勵她們。
更不用說激勵她們。
11:43
Arab women, generally speaking,
228
691760
1496
阿拉伯女性，一般來說，
11:45
have not fallen
for this psychological trap.
for this psychological trap.
229
693280
2240
沒有掉入
這個心理陷阱。
這個心理陷阱。
11:48
Faced with a patriarchal society,
230
696280
1936
面對這個父權社會，
11:50
they have found
that by helping each other out,
that by helping each other out,
231
698240
2336
她們發現
藉由幫助彼此，
藉由幫助彼此，
11:52
all benefit.
232
700600
1240
所有人都能得到好處。
11:55
In my previous job, I was the most
senior woman in the Middle East,
senior woman in the Middle East,
233
703120
3176
在我前一份工作中，我在中東是最資深的女性，
11:58
so one could think that investing
in my network of female colleagues
in my network of female colleagues
234
706320
3856
所以能想到投資在我女性同事的人脈
12:02
couldn't bring many benefits
235
710200
1576
並不能帶來很大的效益，
12:03
and that I should instead invest my time
236
711800
2256
而我應該要把時間投資在
12:06
developing my relationships
with male seniors and peers.
with male seniors and peers.
237
714080
2720
發展我跟男性前輩與同儕的關係。
12:09
Yet two of my biggest breaks
came through the support of other women.
came through the support of other women.
238
717760
3560
儘管我最大的兩個突破
來自其他女人的幫助。
來自其他女人的幫助。
12:14
It was the head of marketing
who initially suggested
who initially suggested
239
722200
2456
那是來自於一位行銷領導，
她最初建議
她最初建議
12:16
I be considered as a young global leader
to the World Economic Forum.
to the World Economic Forum.
240
724680
3296
我成為一個世界經濟論壇年輕的全球領導人。
12:20
She was familiar with my media engagements
and my publications,
and my publications,
241
728000
2976
她很熟悉我的媒體參與和我發表的東西，
12:23
and when she was asked
to voice her opinion,
to voice her opinion,
242
731000
2096
而當她被要求表達意見時，
12:25
she highlighted my name.
243
733120
1240
她強調了我的名字。
12:27
It was a young consultant,
a Saudi lady and friend,
a Saudi lady and friend,
244
735280
2656
這是一位年輕的顧問，
一位沙烏地女士，是我的朋友，
一位沙烏地女士，是我的朋友，
12:29
who helped me sell
my first project in Saudi Arabia,
my first project in Saudi Arabia,
245
737960
2736
她幫我在沙烏地阿拉伯賣出了我第一個項目，
12:32
a market I was finding hard
to gain traction in as a woman.
to gain traction in as a woman.
246
740720
3200
作為一個女人，我發現很難在這市場得到吸引力。
12:36
She introduced me to a client,
247
744840
1496
她向我介紹一名客戶，
12:38
and that introduction led to the first
of very many projects for me in Saudi.
of very many projects for me in Saudi.
248
746360
4136
而這場介紹開始了我在沙烏地眾多的項目的第一道曙光。
12:42
Today, I have two senior women on my team,
249
750520
2456
如今，在我的團隊內有兩個資深的女性，
12:45
and I see making them successful
as key to my own success.
as key to my own success.
250
753000
3240
而我看見，讓她們成功，
就是開啟我成功之路的鑰匙。
就是開啟我成功之路的鑰匙。
12:50
Women continue to advance in the world,
251
758320
1976
女性持續在世界上進步，
12:52
not fast enough, but we're moving.
252
760320
2376
還不算快，但我們正在努力。
12:54
The Arab world, too, is making progress,
despite many recent setbacks.
despite many recent setbacks.
253
762720
4096
阿拉伯世界，也是如此，正在有所進展
儘管現在有很多障礙。
儘管現在有很多障礙。
12:58
Just this year, the UAE appointed
five new female ministers to its cabinet,
five new female ministers to its cabinet,
254
766840
4616
就在這年，阿拉伯聯合大公國指派
五名新的女部長進入內閣，
五名新的女部長進入內閣，
13:03
for a total of eight female ministers.
255
771480
2320
總計有8位女部長。
13:06
That's nearly 28 percent of the cabinet,
256
774360
2696
那相當於內閣人數的28%，
13:09
and more than many
developed countries can claim.
developed countries can claim.
257
777080
2816
可以說比許多已開發國家還多。
13:11
This is today my daughter
Alia's favorite picture.
Alia's favorite picture.
258
779920
2360
時至今日這是我女兒
Alia最愛的圖片。
Alia最愛的圖片。
13:15
This is the result,
no doubt, of great leadership,
no doubt, of great leadership,
259
783360
2496
不用懷疑，這是
在偉大的領導之下的結果。
在偉大的領導之下的結果。
13:17
but it is also the result
of strong Arab women
of strong Arab women
260
785880
2616
但這也是傑出的阿拉伯女性的成就，
13:20
not giving up and continuously
pushing the boundaries.
pushing the boundaries.
261
788520
2976
不放棄並且不斷的推動界線。
13:23
It is the result of Arab women
deciding every day like me
deciding every day like me
262
791520
4136
這是阿拉伯女性每天像我一樣生活的結果，
13:27
to convert shit into fuel,
263
795680
1776
我們把負面能量轉換成動力，
13:29
to work their life
to keep work out of their life,
to keep work out of their life,
264
797480
2536
去安排他們的生活
在生活外保持發展，
在生活外保持發展，
13:32
and to join forces and not compete.
265
800040
2040
然後團結合作不對抗彼此。
13:34
As I look to the future,
266
802960
1416
當我看向未來，
13:36
my hopes for my daughter
when she stands on this stage
when she stands on this stage
267
804400
2536
我希望我的女兒
從現在開始20.30年後，
從現在開始20.30年後，
13:38
some 20, 30 years from now
268
806960
1816
在那時，
13:40
are that she be as proud
to call herself her mother's daughter
to call herself her mother's daughter
269
808800
3096
她能以自己是母親的女兒為傲，
13:43
as her father's daughter.
270
811920
1240
就跟是她父親的女兒一樣驕傲。
13:46
My hopes for my son
271
814040
1456
我希望我的兒子，
13:47
are that by then, the expression
"her mother's son" or "mama's boy"
"her mother's son" or "mama's boy"
272
815520
3616
在那時也是一樣，描述自己
是「母親的兒子」或是「媽媽的男孩」，
是「母親的兒子」或是「媽媽的男孩」，
13:51
would have taken on
a completely different meaning.
a completely different meaning.
273
819160
2400
將會帶給我們完全不一樣的意義。
13:54
Thank you.
274
822120
1216
謝謝。
13:55
(Applause)
275
823360
5708
(掌聲)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Leila Hoteit - Women's advocateBCG's Leila Hoteit specializes in human capital and education throughout the Middle East.
Why you should listen
Dr. Leila Hoteit is a partner and managing director at BCG, based in Dubai. She leads the education and human capital development work in the Middle East.
Dr. Hoteit's career spans over 13 years in the management consulting industry. As part of her assignments, Dr. Hoteit has covered a slew of in-depth societal issues that punctuate the MENA region; these include education, women's empowerment, human capital development, employment and culture. Dr. Hoteit was named Young Global Leader for the World Economic Forum in 2014 -- a multi-stakeholder community of exceptional young leaders who share a commitment to shaping the global future. Dr. Hoteit holds a Bachelor's degree and PhD in Electrical Engineering from Imperial College London, as well as an MBA from France's INSEAD. She is the author of multiple patents.
Leila Hoteit | Speaker | TED.com