ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Heidi Grant - Social psychologist
Heidi Grant researches, writes and speaks about the science of motivation, influence and decision-making.

Why you should listen

Dr. Heidi Grant is the Chief Science Officer for the Neuroleadership Institute, Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at the Columbia University, and author of six best-selling books, including: Reinforcements: How to Get People to Help YouNo One Understands You and What to Do About It and Nine Things Successful People Do Differently. In 2017, Grant was named one of Thinkers50's most influential management thinkers globally. 

More profile about the speaker
Heidi Grant | Speaker | TED.com
TED Salon Brightline Initiative

Heidi Grant: How to ask for help -- and get a "yes"

海蒂‧葛蘭特: 如何向人求助——並讓對方說「好」

Filmed:
2,446,833 views

求助很困難。但,人生中你經常會需要求助。所以,要如何能很自在地向前求助?在這場有提供實做方式的演說中,社會心理學家海蒂‧葛蘭特分享了四條簡單的規則,教你怎麼求助並取得協助——同時讓提供協助的人也覺得很有價值。
- Social psychologist
Heidi Grant researches, writes and speaks about the science of motivation, influence and decision-making. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:13
So, asking for help
is basically基本上 the worst最差, right?
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基本上,求助是最糟糕的,對吧?
00:18
I've actually其實 never seen看到 it
on one of those top最佳 ten lists名單
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我其實從來沒有
在人類最恐懼的十件事
排行榜上看過它,
00:22
of things people fear恐懼,
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00:24
like public上市 speaking請講
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通常都會有公開演說,
00:26
and death死亡,
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以及死亡,
00:27
but I'm pretty漂亮 sure
it actually其實 belongs屬於 there.
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但我很確定它一定屬於前十名。
00:31
Even though雖然 in many許多 ways方法 it's foolish
for us to be afraid害怕 to admit承認 we need help,
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雖然,在許多意義上,
害怕承認自己需要協助
是件很蠢的事,
00:36
whether是否 it's from a loved喜愛 one
or a friend朋友 or from a coworker同事
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不論求助的對象是親人、朋友,
或同事,或甚至陌生人,
00:40
or even from a stranger陌生人,
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00:42
somehow不知何故 it always feel just a little bit
uncomfortable不舒服 and embarrassing尷尬
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開口求助總是不知怎麼地
讓我們感到不舒服和不好意思,
00:47
to actually其實 ask for help,
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00:50
which哪一個 is, of course課程, why most of us
try to avoid避免 asking for help
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當然,這就是為什麼大部分人
會在所能範圍內盡量避免求助。
00:53
whenever每當 humanly從人的角度 possible可能.
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00:55
My father父親 was one of those
legions軍團 of fathers父親
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我爸爸就是那種很常見的老爸,
00:58
who, I swear發誓, would rather drive駕駛
through通過 an alligator-infested鱷魚出沒 swamp沼澤
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我發誓,他寧可把車
開過內有鱷魚的沼澤,
01:04
than actually其實 ask someone有人 for help
getting得到 back to the road.
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也不願意找人問路。
01:07
When I was a kid孩子,
we took a family家庭 vacation假期.
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我小時候,我們全家去渡假。
01:10
We drove開車 from our home in South Jersey新澤西
to Colonial殖民 Williamsburg威廉斯堡.
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我們從南澤西的家開車
前往殖民地威廉斯堡。
01:14
And I remember記得 we got really badly lost丟失.
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我記得我們嚴重迷路。
01:17
My mother母親 and I pleaded承認 with him
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我和我媽媽懇求他
01:20
to please just pull over and ask someone有人
for directions方向 back to the highway高速公路,
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把車靠邊停,找人詢問
要怎麼回到幹道上,
01:24
and he absolutely絕對 refused拒絕,
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他就是拒絕,
01:26
and, in fact事實, assured保證 us
that we were not lost丟失,
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而且還保證我們沒有迷路,
01:29
he had just always wanted to know
what was over here.
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他只是一直想知道
這裡有什麼所以來看看。
01:32
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
01:34
So if we're going to ask for help --
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所以,如果我們要求助——
01:37
and we have to, we all do,
practically幾乎 every一切 day --
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且其實我們所有人
每天都會需要求助——
01:41
the only way we're going to even begin開始
to get comfortable自在 with it
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只有一種辦法能夠很自在地去求助,
01:45
is to get good at it,
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那就是變得擅長求助,
01:46
to actually其實 increase增加 the chances機會
that when you ask for help from someone有人,
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增加當你去向某人求助時,
01:50
they're actually其實 going to say yes.
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那個人會答應的機率。
01:52
And not only that, but they're going
to find it actually其實 satisfying滿意的
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且,不只如此,他們還會覺得協助你
是件很讓人滿足、很有價值的事,
01:56
and rewarding獎勵 to help you,
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01:57
because that way, they'll他們會 be motivated動機
to continue繼續 to help you into the future未來.
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因為,這麼一來,他們就會
有動機在未來繼續幫助你。
02:02
So research研究 that I
and some of my colleagues同事 have doneDONE
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我和我的一些同事做了研究,
02:05
has shed a lot of light on why it is
that sometimes有時 people say yes
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解釋了為什麼當我們尋求協助時,
有些人會答應,
02:09
to our requests要求 for help
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02:10
and why sometimes有時 they say no.
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有些人會拒絕。
02:13
Now let me just start開始 by saying right now:
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讓我就從這麼說開始:
02:16
if you need help,
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如果你需要協助,
02:18
you are going to have to ask for it.
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你就一定得要說出來。
02:21
Out loud.
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大聲說出來。好嗎?
02:22
OK?
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在某種程度上,
我們都有心理學家所謂的
02:23
We all, to some extent程度, suffer遭受
from something that psychologists心理學家 call
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02:27
"the illusion錯覺 of transparency透明度" --
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「被洞悉錯覺」——
02:29
basically基本上, the mistaken錯誤 belief信仰
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基本上,它就是誤信
02:31
that our thoughts思念
and our feelings情懷 and our needs需求
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我們的思想、我們的感覺,
以及我們的需求
02:33
are really obvious明顯 to other people.
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都很明顯,能被別人看出來。
02:37
This is not true真正, but we believe it.
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這不是真的,但我們卻相信。
02:39
And so, we just mostly大多 stand around
waiting等候 for someone有人 to notice注意 our needs需求
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所以,我們幾乎就是等著
別人注意到我們的需求,
02:43
and then spontaneously自發 offer提供
to help us with it.
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然後自動自發地來幫助我們。
02:46
This is a really, really bad assumption假設.
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這真的是種很糟的假設。
02:48
In fact事實, not only is it very difficult
to tell what your needs需求 are,
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事實上,不僅是
說出你的需求很困難,
02:52
but even the people close to you
often經常 struggle鬥爭 to understand理解
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就連你身邊的人,通常也很難了解
02:55
how they can support支持 you.
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他們要如何支助你。
02:57
My partner夥伴 has actually其實
had to adopt採用 a habit習慣
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我的另一半還得要養成一種習慣,
03:00
of asking me multiple times a day,
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每天要問我很多次
03:03
"Are you OK? Do you need anything?"
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「你還好嗎?你需要什麼嗎?」
03:05
because I am so, so bad at signaling發信號
when I need someone's誰家 help.
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因為我非常不擅長表現出
我需要別人的幫助。
03:10
Now, he is more patient患者 than I deserve值得
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他實在對我太有耐心了,
03:12
and much more proactive主動,
much more, about helping幫助
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且他也太太太主動提供協助,
03:16
than any of us have any right
to expect期望 other people to be.
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我們都無法期望其他人
能做到像他這樣。
03:20
So if you need help, you're going
to have to ask for it.
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所以,如果你需要幫助,
你就得求助。
03:22
And by the way, even when someone有人
can tell that you need help,
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順便一提,就算別人
看得出你需要幫助,
03:26
how do they know that you want it?
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他們又怎麼知道
你想要他們的幫助?
03:29
Did you ever try to give unsolicited不請自來 help
to someone有人 who, it turns out,
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你有沒有遇過,你主動
提供協助給某個人,
03:32
did not actually其實 want your help
in the first place地點?
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結果這個人其實
根本不想要你幫忙?
03:35
They get nasty討厭 real真實 quick, don't they?
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他們馬上就變臉,對吧?
03:38
The other day -- true真正 story故事 --
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有一天——這是真實故事——
03:40
my teenage青少年 daughter女兒
was getting得到 dressed連衣裙的 for school學校,
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我的十多歲的女兒在更衣準備上學,
03:43
and I decided決定 to give her
some unsolicited不請自來 help about that.
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而我決定主動提供這方面的協助。
03:46
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
03:47
I happen發生 to think she looks容貌 amazing驚人
in brighter光明 colors顏色.
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我剛好認為,她穿亮色會很好看。
03:50
She tends趨向 to prefer比較喜歡 sort分類 of darker,
more neutral中性 tones.
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而她則偏好比較暗的顏色,
比較中性的色調。
03:54
And so I said, very helpfully有益,
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所以,我非常熱心地說
03:56
that I thought maybe
she could go back upstairs樓上
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我認為她可以考慮回到樓上,
03:59
and try to find something
a little less somber陰沉.
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試著找件不那麼灰暗的衣服。
04:02
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
04:04
So, if looks容貌 could kill,
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如果用瞪的可以殺人,
04:06
I would not be standing常設 here right now.
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我現在就不會活著站在這裡了。
04:09
We really can't blame other people for not
just spontaneously自發 offering to help us
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我們真的不能怪其他人
不主動協助我們,
04:14
when we don't actually其實 know
that that's what is wanted.
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因為我們其實不知道
對方是否想要被幫助。
04:17
In fact事實, actually其實, research研究 shows節目
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事實上,研究顯示,
04:19
that 90 percent百分 of the help that coworkers合作夥伴
give one another另一個 in the workplace職場
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在工作場所中,
同事間提供給彼此的協助,
04:24
is in response響應
to explicit明確的 requests要求 for help.
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有九成都是因為
對方有明確要求協助。
04:28
So you're going to have to say
the words "I need your help." Right?
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所以,你必須要說出
「我需要你幫忙」這句話。
04:31
There's no getting得到 around it.
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沒有其他方式。
04:33
Now, to be good at it,
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那麼,若要擅長求助,
04:34
to make sure that people actually其實 do
help you when you ask for it,
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若要確保當你求助時,
對方真的會伸出援手,
04:37
there are a few少數 other things
that are very helpful有幫助 to keep in mind心神.
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記住以下幾件事情會很有助益。
04:41
First thing: when you ask for help,
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第一:當你求助時,
04:44
be very, very specific具體
about the help you want and why.
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要非常非常明確說出你想要
什麼樣的協助,以及為什麼。
04:49
Vague模糊, sort分類 of indirect間接 requests要求 for help
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模糊、間接地請求協助
04:53
actually其實 aren't very helpful有幫助
to the helper幫手, right?
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不太能夠幫助對方
提供幫助給你,對吧?
04:56
We don't actually其實 know
what it is you want from us,
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我們不知道你希望我們做些什麼,
04:59
and, just as important重要,
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同樣重要的是,
05:01
we don't know whether是否 or not
we can be successful成功
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我們也不知道我們
能不能成功幫助你。
05:03
in giving you the help.
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沒有人想要給予沒用的幫助。
05:05
Nobody沒有人 wants to give bad help.
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05:07
Like me, you probably大概 get
some of these requests要求
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你可能也跟我一樣,常常會在
LinkedIn(職場社交平台)上
05:10
from perfectly完美 pleasant愉快
strangers陌生人 on LinkedInLinkedIn
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收到一些陌生人的請求,
05:13
who want to do things like
"get together一起 over coffee咖啡 and connect"
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他們想要類似「喝杯咖啡
聚一聚,連結彼此」
05:18
or "pick your brain."
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或「跟你請教一下」。
05:21
I ignore忽視 these requests要求
literally按照字面 every一切 time.
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我真的每次都會直接忽略這些請求。
05:24
And it's not that I'm not a nice不錯 person.
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並不是我不是好人,
05:26
It's just that when I don't know
what it is you want from me,
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只是如果我不清楚你想要我做什麼,
05:29
like the kind of help
you're hoping希望 that can I provide提供,
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比如你希望我能幫上什麼忙,
05:32
I'm not interested有興趣.
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那我就沒興趣。
05:34
Nobody沒有人 is.
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沒人會有興趣。
05:35
I'd have been much more interested有興趣
if they had just come out and said
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如果他們能直接來找我,
說出他們想從我這裡得到什麼,
05:39
whatever隨你 it is was
they were hoping希望 to get from me,
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我反而會感興趣許多,
因為我很肯定他們
腦中有很明確的想法。
05:41
because I'm pretty漂亮 sure they had
something specific具體 in mind心神.
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所以,儘管說出來:
05:44
So go ahead and say,
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「我希望能討論看看
是否有機會到你的公司工作。」
05:45
"I'm hoping希望 to discuss討論 opportunities機會
to work in your company公司,"
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05:48
or, "I'd like to propose提出
a joint聯合 research研究 project項目
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或「我想要提議一項聯合研究計畫,
05:51
in an area I know you're interested有興趣 in,"
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我知道這是你會有興趣的研究領域。」
05:54
or, "I'd like your advice忠告
on getting得到 into medical school學校."
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或「我想聽聽你對於
就讀醫學院的建議。」
05:58
Technically技術上, I can't help you
with that last one
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技術上來說,最後
那個例子我幫不上忙,
因為我不是「醫生」,我是博士,
06:00
because I'm not that kind of doctor醫生,
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但我能夠引介你去找能幫上忙的人。
06:02
but I could point you in the direction方向
of someone有人 who could.
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06:06
OK, second第二 tip小費.
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好,第二項要訣。
06:07
This is really important重要:
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這項非常重要:
06:10
please avoid避免 disclaimers免責 聲明,
apologies道歉 and bribes行賄.
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請避免免責聲明、道歉,和賄賂。
06:15
Really, really important重要.
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非常重要。
06:16
Do any of these sound聲音 familiar?
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以下這些聽起來耳熟嗎?
06:18
(Clears throat)
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(清喉嚨)
06:20
'I'm so, so sorry
that I have to ask you for this."
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「很抱歉我得要拜託你這件事。」
06:25
"I really hate討厭 bothering困擾 you with this."
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「我真的很不想用這件事煩你。」
06:28
"If I had any way of doing this
without your help, I would."
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「如果能不找你幫忙,
我就不會來找你了。」
06:34
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
06:35
Sometimes有時 it feels感覺 like people
are so eager急於 to prove證明
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有時,感覺好像大家很想要證明
06:38
that they're not weak and greedy貪婪
when they ask your for help,
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他們在向你求助時
其實並不軟弱和貪心,
06:41
they're completely全然 missing失踪 out
on how uncomfortable不舒服
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他們完全沒注意到這些說法
會讓你感覺多麼不舒服。
06:44
they're making製造 you feel.
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06:45
And by the way -- how am I supposed應該
to find it satisfying滿意的 to help you
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順便一提——如果你真的
很不想向我求助,
06:49
if you really hated
having to ask me for help?
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我怎麼可能會覺得
幫助你是讓人滿足的事?
06:53
And while it is perfectly完美,
perfectly完美 acceptable接受
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且,雖然如果請陌生人幫助你,
06:56
to pay工資 strangers陌生人 to do things for you,
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付錢給他是非常可接受的事,
06:59
you need to be very, very careful小心
when it comes to incentivizing建立激勵機制
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但若你要用錢鼓勵的對象
是你的朋友和同事,
07:03
your friends朋友 and coworkers合作夥伴.
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你就得要格外小心。
07:05
When you have a relationship關係 with someone有人,
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如果你和某人有關係存在,
07:07
helping幫助 one another另一個 is actually其實
a natural自然 part部分 of that relationship關係.
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彼此幫助其實很自然
就是那段關係的一部分。
07:11
It's how we show顯示 one another另一個 that we care關心.
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我們用這種方式
向對方展現我們在乎他。
07:13
If you introduce介紹 incentives獎勵
or payments支付 into that,
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如果你讓關係涉及到獎勵或付款,
07:17
what can happen發生 is, it starts啟動 to feel
like it isn't a relationship關係,
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可能就會讓原本的關係
感覺不再是關係了,
07:21
it's a transaction交易.
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反而像是交易。
07:23
And that actually其實
is experienced有經驗的 as distancing疏離,
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那其實會讓人有距離感,
07:25
which哪一個, ironically諷刺地, makes品牌 people
less likely容易 to help you.
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很諷刺的是,這麼做
反而會讓對方比較不想幫你。
07:29
So a spontaneous自發 gift禮品
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所以,在對方協助你之後,
07:31
after someone有人 gives you some help
to show顯示 your appreciation升值 and gratitude感謝 --
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不刻意地送個禮物來表示謝意——
07:35
perfectly完美 fine.
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完全可行。
07:37
An offer提供 to pay工資 your best最好 friend朋友
to help you move移動 into your new apartment公寓
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付錢請你最要好的朋友幫你搬家,
07:41
is not.
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不可行。
07:42
OK, third第三 rule規則,
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好,第三條規則,
07:44
and I really mean this one:
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對這條,我是很認真的:
07:45
please do not ask for help
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請不要用電子郵件
07:48
over email電子郵件 or text文本.
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或文字訊息來求助。
07:51
Really, seriously認真地, please don't.
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我是說真的,請不要這麼做。
07:53
Email電子郵件 and text文本 are impersonal非人的.
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電子郵件和文字訊息很沒人情味。
07:56
I realize實現 sometimes有時
there's no alternative替代,
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我知道有時是沒有其他選擇,
07:58
but mostly大多 what happens發生 is,
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但大部分的情況是,
08:01
we like to ask for help
over email電子郵件 and text文本
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我們想要透過電子郵件
和文字訊息來求助,
08:04
because it feels感覺 less awkward尷尬
for us to do so.
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因為我們用這種方式
感覺比較不尷尬。
08:08
You know what else其他 feels感覺
less awkward尷尬 over email電子郵件 and text文本?
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你知道透過電子郵件和文字訊息
做什麼也會感覺比較不尷尬嗎?
08:12
Telling天音 you no.
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拒絕你。
08:14
And it turns out, there's
research研究 to support支持 this.
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結果發現,有研究支持這個論點。
08:17
In-person面對面 requests要求 for help
are 30 times more likely容易 to get a yes
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比起用電子郵件求助,
親自去求助,對方
答應的機率反而高三十倍。
08:22
than a request請求 made製作 by email電子郵件.
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08:25
So when something is really important重要
and you really need someone's誰家 help,
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所以,如果有很重要的事
你真的需要別人幫忙,
08:28
make face面對 time to make the request請求,
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找時間去當面求助,
或是把手機當「電話」來使用——
08:31
or use your phone電話 as a phone電話 --
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08:34
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
08:36
to ask for the help that you need.
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來尋求你需要的協助。
08:39
OK.
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好。
08:40
Last one, and this is actually其實
a really, really important重要 one
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最後一項,這一項真的非常重要,
08:44
and probably大概 the one
that is most overlooked忽視
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可能是在求助時最會被大家忽略的:
08:46
when it comes to asking for help:
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08:48
when you ask someone有人
for their help and they say yes,
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當你向某人求助,對方也答應了,
08:51
follow跟隨 up with them afterward之後.
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還要有後續追蹤。
08:54
There's a common共同 misconception誤解
that what's rewarding獎勵 about helping幫助
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有一種常見的誤解,那就是
協助人的行為本身
會讓人覺得很有價值。
08:57
is the act法案 of helping幫助 itself本身.
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09:00
This is not true真正.
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不是這樣的。
09:01
What is rewarding獎勵 about helping幫助
is knowing會心 that your help landed登陸,
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會讓人覺得有價值的部分,
是知道你提供的幫助有用,
09:05
that it had impact碰撞,
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有所影響,
09:07
that you were effective有效.
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知道你造成了不同。
09:09
If I have no idea理念
how my help affected受影響 you,
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如果我不知道我的協助
對你有什麼影響,
我會對它有什麼感受?
09:13
how am I supposed應該 to feel about it?
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09:14
This happened發生; I was a university大學
professor教授 for many許多 years年份,
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我遇過一件事;我之前
當了很多年的大學教授,
09:17
I wrote lots and lots
of letters of recommendation建議
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我寫過非常多推薦信,
09:20
for people to get jobs工作
or to go into graduate畢業 school學校.
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推薦別人找工作或是讀研究所。
09:22
And probably大概 about 95 percent百分 of them,
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當中大概有 95%
09:25
I have no idea理念 what happened發生.
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我都不知道後來結果如何。
09:27
Now, how do I feel about the time
and effort功夫 I took to do that,
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我如果不知道我有沒有幫上忙,
我對我花在推薦上的
時間心力會有什麼感覺?
09:30
when I really have no idea理念
if I helped幫助 you,
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09:33
if it actually其實 helped幫助 you
get the thing that you wanted?
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我的推薦真的有幫你達到目標嗎?
09:36
In fact事實, this idea理念 of feeling感覺 effective有效
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事實上,這種有幫上忙的感覺,
09:38
is part部分 of why certain某些 kinds
of donor捐贈者 appeals上訴 are so, so persuasive說服力 --
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正是某些懇求捐助的請求
能如此有說服力的原因之一——
09:44
because they allow允許 you
to really vividly生動地 imagine想像
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因為它們能讓你很生動地想像出
09:47
the effect影響 that your help
is going to have.
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你的幫助會帶來什麼效益。
09:49
Take something like DonorsChooseDonorsChoose.
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以 DonorsChoose(組織)為例。
09:52
You go online線上, you can choose選擇
the individual個人 teacher老師 by name名稱
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你可以上網,依照名字
來選擇某一位老師,
09:55
whose誰的 classroom課堂 you're going
to be able能夠 to help
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你可以去協助他的班級,
09:58
by literally按照字面 buying購買 the specific具體
items項目 they've他們已經 requested要求,
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直接購買他們很明確需求的物品,
10:01
like microscopes顯微鏡 or laptops筆記本電腦
or flexible靈活 seating休息.
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比如顯微鏡、筆電,
或有彈性的坐椅。
10:05
An appeal上訴 like that makes品牌 it
so easy簡單 for me to imagine想像
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像這樣的捐助請求,
讓我可以很容易想像出
10:09
the good that my money will do,
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我的錢能夠做什麼善事,
10:10
that I actually其實 get
an immediate即時 sense of effectiveness效用
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在我決定要捐助時,
我馬上就可以有種幫上忙的感覺。
10:13
the minute分鐘 I commit承諾 to giving.
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10:15
But you know what else其他 they do?
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但,你知道它們還會做什麼嗎?
後續追蹤。
10:16
They follow跟隨 up.
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10:18
Donors捐助者 actually其實 get letters
from the kids孩子 in the classroom課堂.
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捐贈者會收到班上孩子寫來的信。
10:22
They get pictures圖片.
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他們會收到照片。
10:23
They get to know
that they made製作 a difference區別.
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他們能知道他們造成了不同。
10:26
And this is something we need
to all be doing in our everyday每天 lives生活,
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我們所有人在日常生活中
都應該要這麼做,
這樣我們才能讓別人
10:29
especially特別 if we want people
to continue繼續 to give us help
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長期繼續提供我們協助。
10:32
over the long term術語.
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10:34
Take time to tell your colleague同事
that the help that they gave you
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花點時間,告訴你的同事,
他們給你的協助真的
讓你成交了一筆大生意,
10:37
really helped幫助 you land土地 that big sale拍賣,
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10:39
or helped幫助 you get that interview訪問
that you were really hoping希望 to get.
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或是讓你取得了
你一直盼望的面試機會。
10:43
Take time to tell your partner夥伴
that the support支持 they gave you
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花點時間,告訴你的另一半,
他們給予你的支持
10:46
really made製作 it possible可能 for you
to get through通過 a tough強硬 time.
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真的幫助你渡過低潮。
10:50
Take time to tell your catsitter卡塞特
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花點時間,告訴幫你照顧貓的人,
10:52
that you're super happy快樂
that for some reason原因,
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你超級開心,因為出於某種原因,
10:55
this time the cats didn't break打破
anything while you were away,
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這次你出遠門時,
你的貓沒有打破任何東西,
10:58
and so they must必須 have doneDONE
a really good job工作.
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所以一定是他們把貓顧得很好。
11:02
The bottom底部 line is:
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結果就是:
11:03
I know -- believe me, I know --
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我知道——相信我,我知道——
11:05
that it is not easy簡單 to ask for help.
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要開口求助並不容易。
11:09
We are all a little bit afraid害怕 to do it.
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我們都有一點害怕求助。
11:11
It makes品牌 us feel vulnerable弱勢.
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求助讓我們感到脆弱。
11:13
But the reality現實 of modern現代 work
and modern現代 life
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但,現代工作
和現代生活的現實就是,
11:18
is that nobody沒有人 does it alone單獨.
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沒有人能只靠自己。
11:20
Nobody沒有人 succeeds成功 in a vacuum真空.
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2003
沒有人能獨自一人成功。
11:22
More than ever, we actually其實 do
have to rely依靠 on other people,
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我們比以往更需要仰賴其他人,
11:26
on their support支持 and collaboration合作,
in order訂購 to be successful成功.
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仰賴他們的支持和合作,
才有可能成功。
11:30
So when you need help,
ask for it out loud.
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所以,當你需要協助時,
只管大聲說出來。
11:35
And when you do, do it in a way
that increases增加 your chances機會
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當你求助時,
要用能讓對方更有可能
答應的方式來求助,
11:38
that you'll你會 get a yes
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11:39
and makes品牌 the other person
feel awesome真棒 for having helped幫助 you,
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並且讓對方覺得
能幫到你是件很棒的事,
11:44
because you both deserve值得 it.
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因為這是你們雙方都應得的。
11:46
Thank you.
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謝謝。
11:47
(Applause掌聲)
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(掌聲)
Translated by Lilian Chiu
Reviewed by Bruce Sung

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Heidi Grant - Social psychologist
Heidi Grant researches, writes and speaks about the science of motivation, influence and decision-making.

Why you should listen

Dr. Heidi Grant is the Chief Science Officer for the Neuroleadership Institute, Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at the Columbia University, and author of six best-selling books, including: Reinforcements: How to Get People to Help YouNo One Understands You and What to Do About It and Nine Things Successful People Do Differently. In 2017, Grant was named one of Thinkers50's most influential management thinkers globally. 

More profile about the speaker
Heidi Grant | Speaker | TED.com