TEDSummit 2019
Hajer Sharief: How to use family dinner to teach politics
哈哲．沙莉芙: 如何用運家庭晚餐教孩子政治
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哈哲．沙莉芙說：每個人都應該參與決策和政治，從家庭開始。她介紹一個簡單但具有變革性的想法：父母通過讓孩子對家庭的經營方式發表意見，來教育他們了解政治機構；以坦誠的家庭會議的形式，每個人都可以發表意見，進行談判和妥協。她說：「我們需要教導人們，政治、國家和全球事務與個人和家庭事務相關。」「你真能付得起對政治不感興趣或不參與政治的代價嗎？」
Hajer Sharief - Activist
As an activist promoting human rights in Libya and beyond, Hajer Sharief works against society's flow -- and across generations -- to find solutions. Full bio
As an activist promoting human rights in Libya and beyond, Hajer Sharief works against society's flow -- and across generations -- to find solutions. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
二十年前，
00:13
Twenty years ago,
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00:15
my family introduced a system
called "Friday Democracy Meetings."
called "Friday Democracy Meetings."
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我的家庭推出一個叫
「民主禮拜五 」的機制
「民主禮拜五 」的機制
00:21
Every Friday at 7pm, my family
came together for an official meeting
came together for an official meeting
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每週五晚上 7 點
我們會一起開會
正式討論當前的家庭事務。
正式討論當前的家庭事務。
00:27
to discuss the current family affairs.
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00:31
These meetings were facilitated
by one of my parents,
by one of my parents,
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會議由我的父親或母親主持，
00:35
and we even had a notetaker.
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我們還要做會議紀錄。
00:37
These meetings had two rules.
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這會議有兩項規則。
00:39
First, you are allowed
to speak open and freely.
to speak open and freely.
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一，你可以自由開放地發言。
00:42
Us kids were allowed
to criticize our parents
to criticize our parents
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小孩們可以批評父母，
00:45
without that being considered
disrespectful or rude.
disrespectful or rude.
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但不可以不尊重或不禮貌。
00:48
Second rule was the Chatham House rule,
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二，便是「漆咸樓家規 」。
00:51
meaning whatever is said in the meeting
stays in the meeting.
stays in the meeting.
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意思是無論在會議上說什麼，
都不得帶出會議。
都不得帶出會議。
00:55
(Laughter)
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00:56
The topics which were discussed
in these meetings
in these meetings
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在這些會議討論的議題
00:59
varied from one week to another.
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每周都不一樣。
01:01
One week, we'd talk about
what food we wanted to eat,
what food we wanted to eat,
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有的時候我們會講想吃什麼，
01:05
what time us kids should go to bed
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小孩應該要幾點上床睡覺，
01:07
and how to improve things as a family,
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和怎麼整體上改進這個家庭。
01:10
while another meeting discussed
pretty much events that happened at school
pretty much events that happened at school
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又有時會討論在學校發生的事情，
01:15
and how to solve
disputes between siblings,
disputes between siblings,
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和調和兄弟姊妹的爭執
01:18
by which I mean real fights.
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爭執是指打架的意思。
01:21
At the end of each meeting,
we'd reach decisions and agreements
we'd reach decisions and agreements
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在每次會議結束時，
我們會完成決定
我們會完成決定
01:25
that would last at least
until the next meeting.
until the next meeting.
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做出至少到下次開會前
都生效的規定。
都生效的規定。
01:28
So you could say
I was raised as a politician.
I was raised as a politician.
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所以也可以說，
我從小就在學政治
我從小就在學政治
01:35
By the age of six or seven,
I mastered politics.
I mastered politics.
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到六七歲時，
我完全掌握了政治。
我完全掌握了政治。
01:38
I was negotiating, compromising,
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我會談判、妥協，
01:41
building alliances
with other political actors.
with other political actors.
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和與其他政治角色結盟。
01:44
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
01:46
And I even once tried to jeopardize
the political process.
the political process.
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我甚至曾經試著要破壞政治過程。
01:51
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
01:53
These meetings sound very peaceful,
civil and democratic, right?
civil and democratic, right?
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這些會議聽起來很和平、
文明和民主，對吧？
文明和民主，對吧？
01:58
But that was not always the case.
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但情況並非總是如此。
02:00
Because of this open, free space
to talk, discuss and criticize,
to talk, discuss and criticize,
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因為有這個開放、自由的
空間談話、討論和批評，
空間談話、討論和批評，
02:05
things sometimes got really heated.
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情況有時會變得非常激烈。
02:08
One meeting went really bad for me.
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有一次會議對我來說非常不利。
02:11
I was about 10 years old at that time,
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當時候我大概十歲，
02:13
and I'd done something
really horrible at school,
really horrible at school,
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我在學校做了一些很壞的事
02:15
which I'm not going to share today --
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這個我今天就不分享了──
02:17
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
02:18
but my brother decided
to bring it up in the meeting.
to bring it up in the meeting.
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但我哥哥決定要在會議上提出來。
02:22
I could not defend myself,
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我無法為自己辯護，
02:24
so I decided to withdraw from the meeting
and boycott the whole system.
and boycott the whole system.
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所以我決定退出會議
並抵制整個系統。
並抵制整個系統。
02:29
I literally wrote an official letter
and handed it to my dad,
and handed it to my dad,
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我寫了一封正式信件
並且把它上書給我爸爸
並且把它上書給我爸爸
02:32
announcing that I am boycotting.
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宣布我要抵制這場會議。
02:34
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
02:36
I thought that if I stopped
attending these meetings anymore,
attending these meetings anymore,
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我以為，只要我不參加這場會
02:40
the system would collapse,
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整個系統就會崩潰。
02:42
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
02:43
but my family continued with the meetings,
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但我的家人繼續參加會議，
02:46
and they often
made decisions that I disliked.
made decisions that I disliked.
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並且經常做出我不喜歡的決定。
02:50
But I could not challenge these decisions,
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但我無法反對這些決定，
02:52
because I was not attending the meetings,
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因為我沒有參加會議
02:54
and thus had no right to go against it.
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因此沒有權利反對它。
02:57
Ironically, when I turned
about 13 years old,
about 13 years old,
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諷刺的是，當我長到
大約 13 歲，
大約 13 歲，
03:01
I ended up attending
one of these meetings again,
one of these meetings again,
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在我抵制會議很長一段時間之後，
03:04
after I boycotted them for a long time.
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我還是參加了其中一次會議。
03:07
Because there was an issue
that was affecting me only,
that was affecting me only,
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因為有一個只有影響到我的問題
03:12
and no other family member
was bringing it up.
was bringing it up.
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但沒有其他家庭成員提到它。
03:16
The problem was that after each dinner,
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問題是每次晚餐後，
03:20
I was always the only one
who was asked to wash the dishes,
who was asked to wash the dishes,
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當我的兄弟閒閒沒事做時，
03:24
while my brothers didn't have to do
anything about it.
anything about it.
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我一直是唯一的一個
被要求洗碗的。
被要求洗碗的。
03:28
I felt this was unjust,
unfair and discriminatory,
unfair and discriminatory,
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我覺得這是不公正、
不公平和歧視的，
不公平和歧視的，
03:33
so I wanted to discuss it in the meeting.
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所以我想在會議上討論它。
03:36
As you know, the idea that it's a woman
or a girl's role to do household work
or a girl's role to do household work
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如你所知，在眾多的文化中
03:42
is a rule that has been carried out
by many societies for so long,
by many societies for so long,
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負責做家事的人是女人
03:46
so in order for a 13-year-old me
to challenge it, I needed a platform.
to challenge it, I needed a platform.
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所以為了讓一個 13 歲的我
挑戰這個想法，我需要一個平台。
挑戰這個想法，我需要一個平台。
03:51
In the meeting, my brothers argued
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在會議上，我的兄弟們爭辯道
03:53
that none of the other boys we knew
were washing the dishes,
were washing the dishes,
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沒有其他我們認識男孩
會被要求洗碗，
會被要求洗碗，
03:57
so why should our family be any different?
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那麼為什麼我們的
家庭要有所不同呢？
家庭要有所不同呢？
03:59
But my parents agreed with me and decided
that my brothers should assist me.
that my brothers should assist me.
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但我的父母同意我
並決定我的兄弟應該協助我。
04:04
However, they could not force them,
so the problem continued.
so the problem continued.
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但是，他們不能強迫我哥他們，
所以問題仍然在繼續。
所以問題仍然在繼續。
04:08
Seeing no solution to my problem,
I decided to attend another meeting
I decided to attend another meeting
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因為我的問題未獲得解決，
所以我決定參加下一次的會議
所以我決定參加下一次的會議
04:13
and propose a new system
that would be fair to everyone.
that would be fair to everyone.
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並提出一個對每個人
都是公平的新的系統。
都是公平的新的系統。
04:17
So I suggested instead of one person
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我建議不要一個人，
04:20
washing all the dishes
used by all the family members,
used by all the family members,
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洗全部人的碗，
04:24
each family member
should wash their own dishes.
should wash their own dishes.
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而是每個人洗自己的碗。
04:28
And as a gesture of good faith,
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並且作為一種釋出善意的表現，
04:30
I said I'd wash the pots as well.
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我說鍋子也給我洗。
04:33
This way, my brothers
could no longer argue
could no longer argue
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這樣，我的兄弟們再也不能爭辯
04:36
that it wasn't within their responsibility
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因為他們因為生為男人
04:38
as boys or men to wash the dishes
and clean after the family,
and clean after the family,
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就可以不為家人洗碗
04:42
because the system I proposed
was about every member of the family
was about every member of the family
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因為我提出的系統，
是讓每個家庭成員，
自己打掃自己的衛生
並照顧好自己。
並照顧好自己。
04:47
cleaning after themselves
and taking care of themselves.
and taking care of themselves.
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04:51
Everyone agreed to my proposal,
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每個人都同意我的建議，
04:53
and for years, that was
our washing-the-dishes system.
our washing-the-dishes system.
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多年來，那一直是我們的洗碗系統。
05:00
What I just shared with you
is a family story,
is a family story,
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我剛與你分享的是一個家庭故事，
05:03
but it's pure politics.
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但這是純粹的政治。
05:06
Every part of politics
includes decision-making,
includes decision-making,
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政治的每一個部分都包括做決定，
05:10
and ideally, the process
of decision-making
of decision-making
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最理想的是，
做決定的過程
應該包括來自不同的背景、
應該包括來自不同的背景、
05:13
should include people
from different backgrounds,
from different backgrounds,
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05:16
interests, opinions, gender,
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興趣、意見、性別、
05:19
beliefs, race, ethnicity, age, and so on.
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信仰、種族、民族和年齡等的人。
05:22
And they should all have
an equal opportunity to contribute
an equal opportunity to contribute
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他們應該都有平等的機會
去影響會直接或間接地
會改變他們的生活的決策。
會改變他們的生活的決策。
05:26
to the decision-making process
and influence the decisions
and influence the decisions
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05:30
that will affect their lives
directly or indirectly.
directly or indirectly.
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05:34
As such, I find it difficult to understand
when I hear young people saying,
when I hear young people saying,
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因此，當我聽到年輕人或女人說：
05:40
"I'm too young to engage in politics
or to even hold a political opinion."
or to even hold a political opinion."
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「我太年輕了，無法參與政治
或甚至持有政治觀點。 」
或甚至持有政治觀點。 」
「政治是一個我不想參與骯髒的世界。 」
05:45
Similarly, when I hear some women saying,
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05:47
"Politics is a dirty world
I don't want to engage with,"
I don't want to engage with,"
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我發現很難理解。
05:52
I'm worried that the idea of politics
and political engagement
and political engagement
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我擔心在世界多處
05:56
has become so polarized
in many parts of the world
in many parts of the world
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政治變得如此兩極分化
06:00
that ordinary people feel, in order
for them to participate in politics,
for them to participate in politics,
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當一般人想要參政時，
06:04
they need to be outspoken activists,
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他們需要成為
直言不諱的積極分子，
直言不諱的積極分子，
06:07
and that is not true.
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但這不是真的。
06:09
I want to ask these young people,
women and ordinary people in general:
women and ordinary people in general:
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我想問這些年輕人、女性和普通人：
06:15
Can you really afford not to be interested
or not to participate in politics?
or not to participate in politics?
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你真的可以負擔得起
不參加政治的代價嗎？
不參加政治的代價嗎？
06:22
Politics is not only activism.
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政治不僅僅是行動主義。
06:24
It's awareness,
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它是一種意識，
06:25
it's keeping ourselves informed,
it's caring for the facts.
it's caring for the facts.
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它讓我們自己了解情況，
它是關心事實。
它是關心事實。
06:28
When it's possible, it's casting a vote.
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如果可能的話，是投票。
06:30
Politics is the tool
through which we structure ourselves
through which we structure ourselves
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政治是我們構建
團體和社會的工具。
06:33
as groups and societies.
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06:36
Politics governs every aspect of life,
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政治主宰生活的每個方面，
06:38
and by not participating in it,
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不參加的話
06:41
you're literally allowing other people
to decide on what you can eat, where,
to decide on what you can eat, where,
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就是在允許他人決定
你可以吃什麼、在哪裡吃，
06:46
if you can have access to health care,
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你是否享有健保、
06:48
free education,
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免費教育，
06:50
how much tax you pay,
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該支付多少稅，
06:51
when you can retire,
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什麼時候退休
06:53
what is your pension.
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和退休金領多少。
06:55
Other people are also deciding
on whether your race and ethnicity
on whether your race and ethnicity
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其他人也在決定
是否運用你的人種和民族
就足以認定你是一個罪犯，
就足以認定你是一個罪犯，
06:59
is enough to consider you a criminal,
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07:01
or if your religion and nationality
is enough to put you on a terrorist list.
is enough to put you on a terrorist list.
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或者因為你的宗教和國籍
就把你列入恐怖分子。
就把你列入恐怖分子。
07:06
And if you still think you are a strong,
independent human being
independent human being
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但如果你還認為自己很強壯，
不受政治影響，獨立的人，
07:10
unaffected by politics,
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07:12
then think twice.
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我建議你，三思而後行。
07:15
I am speaking to you
as a young woman from Libya,
as a young woman from Libya,
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作為一名來自利比亞，
國家在內戰的年輕女子，
國家在內戰的年輕女子，
07:19
a country that is
in the middle of a civil war.
in the middle of a civil war.
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我來告訴你
07:22
After more than 40 years
of authoritarian rule,
of authoritarian rule,
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當你的國家被專制統治四十年後，
07:25
it's not a place
where political engagement
where political engagement
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它並不會是一個，
07:27
by women and young people
is possible, nor encouraged.
is possible, nor encouraged.
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讓女人和年輕人參與政治的環境。
07:31
Almost all political dialogues
that took place in the past few years,
that took place in the past few years,
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幾乎所有在過去
幾年發生的政治對話，
幾年發生的政治對話，
07:35
even those gathered by foreign powers,
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包括被外國勢力聚集的議會，
07:37
has been with only
middle-aged men in the room.
middle-aged men in the room.
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參與者一直只限於中年的男子。
07:41
But in places with a broken
political system like Libya,
political system like Libya,
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但是在像利比亞這樣
政治制度破碎的地方，
政治制度破碎的地方，
07:45
or in seemingly functioning places,
including international organizations,
including international organizations,
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或在看似運作的地方，
包括國際組織，
包括國際組織，
07:50
the systems we have nowadays
for political decision-making
for political decision-making
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我們現在運用的政治決策系統
07:54
are not from the people for the people,
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不是人民建立的，也不是為了人民，
07:57
but they have been established
by the few for the few.
by the few for the few.
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而是被少數人建立，為了少數人的。
08:01
And these few have been historically
almost exclusively men,
almost exclusively men,
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這些常常都是男人的議會
08:07
and they've produced laws, policies,
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他們制定的法律、政策、
08:10
mechanisms for political participation
that are based on the opinions,
that are based on the opinions,
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參政機制，是基於某一群人的意見、
08:15
beliefs, worldviews, dreams,
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信仰、世界觀、夢想
08:18
aspirations of this one group of people,
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和願望，
而將其他人拒之門外。
08:21
while everyone else was kept out.
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08:24
After all, we've all heard
some version of this sentence:
some version of this sentence:
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畢竟，我們都聽過像這樣的話：
08:28
"What does a woman,
let alone a young person, who is brown,
let alone a young person, who is brown,
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「女人哪懂得政治？
年輕黑人就更別說了。」
08:32
understand about politics?"
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08:35
When you're young --
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當你年輕──
08:36
and in many parts of the world, a woman --
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又是一個女人的時候──
08:38
you often hear experienced politicians
say, "But you lack political experience."
say, "But you lack political experience."
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你會經常聽到有經驗的政治家
說：「你缺乏政治經驗。」
說：「你缺乏政治經驗。」
08:44
And when I hear that,
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每當我聽到這個，
08:45
I wonder what sort of experience
are they referring to?
are they referring to?
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我一直都很好奇
他們所指的經驗是什麼？
他們所指的經驗是什麼？
08:49
The experience of corrupted
political systems?
political systems?
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是指腐敗的政治制度嗎？
08:53
Or of waging wars?
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還是發動戰爭？
08:55
Or are they referring to the experience
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還是他們在指
08:57
of putting the interests
of economic profits
of economic profits
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將經濟的利益置於環境之前的經驗？
08:59
before those of the environment?
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因為如果這算是政治經驗，
09:01
Because if this is political experience,
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09:03
then yes --
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對──
09:04
(Applause)
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（掌聲）
09:14
we, as women and young people,
have no political experience at all.
have no political experience at all.
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作為婦女和年輕人，
我們是少了你們的政治經驗。
我們是少了你們的政治經驗。
09:21
Now, politicians might not be
the only ones to blame,
the only ones to blame,
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但現在的話，政治家可能不是
唯一該責備的人，
唯一該責備的人，
09:27
because ordinary people,
and many young people as well,
and many young people as well,
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因為普通人，還有很多年輕人，
09:32
don't care about politics.
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不關心政治。
09:35
And even those who care
don't know how to participate.
don't know how to participate.
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甚至那些關心的人
也不知道怎麼參加。
也不知道怎麼參加。
09:39
This must change, and here is my proposal.
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這必須改變，而這是我的建議。
09:43
We need to teach people at an early age
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我們需要在人們很小的時候
09:46
about decision-making
and how to be part of it.
and how to be part of it.
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就教他們如何決策和如何參與。
09:49
Every family is its own
mini political system
mini political system
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每個家庭都是迷你版的政治制度，
09:53
that is usually not democratic,
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但通常不民主，
09:55
because parents make decisions
that affect all members of the family,
that affect all members of the family,
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因為父母會做出
影響所有家庭成員的決定，
影響所有家庭成員的決定，
10:00
while the kids have very little to say.
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但孩子們卻不能說些什麼。
10:02
Similarly, politicians make decisions
that affect the whole nation,
that affect the whole nation,
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同樣的，政治家也會做出
影響整個國家的決定，
影響整個國家的決定，
10:06
while the people have
very little say in them.
very little say in them.
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但人民卻不能說些什麼。
10:10
We need to change this,
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我們需要改變這個制度。
10:12
and in order to achieve
this change systematically,
this change systematically,
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為了實現改變，
10:15
we need to teach people
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我們需要教導人民
10:17
that political, national
and global affairs
and global affairs
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政治的、全國的，和全球的事務
10:21
are as relevant to them
as personal and family affairs.
as personal and family affairs.
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與他們和他們的生活息息相關。
10:26
So if we want to achieve this,
my proposal and advice is,
my proposal and advice is,
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所以，如果要實現這一點，
我建議試試「民主禮拜五」機制。
10:31
try out the Family Democracy
Meeting system.
Meeting system.
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10:35
Because that will enable your kids
to exercise their agency
to exercise their agency
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因為這樣可以讓你的孩子
從很小的時候就開始練習參與決策。
10:38
and decision-making from a very early age.
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10:42
Politics is about having conversations,
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政治攸關對話，
10:45
including difficult conversations,
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包括不同意見的溝通，
10:47
that lead to decisions.
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並且在最後做出決定。
10:49
And in order to have a conversation,
you need to participate,
you need to participate,
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然後為了進行對話，你必需要參加，
10:53
not sign off like I did when I was a kid
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不要像我小時候那樣退出，
10:55
and then learn the lesson the hard way
and have to go back again.
and have to go back again.
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吃了虧後，還是得回去。
10:59
If you include your kids
in family conversations,
in family conversations,
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如果你把你的孩子
包括在家庭事務對話中，
包括在家庭事務對話中，
11:01
they will grow up
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他們會長大，
11:03
and know how to participate
in political conversations.
in political conversations.
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並且學會如何參與政治對話。
11:06
And most importantly, most importantly,
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最後，最重要的，
11:10
they will help others engage.
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他們會幫助其他人參與。
11:11
Thank you.
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謝謝。
11:13
(Applause)
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（掌聲）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Hajer Sharief - ActivistAs an activist promoting human rights in Libya and beyond, Hajer Sharief works against society's flow -- and across generations -- to find solutions.
Why you should listen
When Hajer Sharief was young, she had no risk assessment skills. If she felt like jumping from a cliff, she did so without thinking of the consequences. As an older and wiser activist, she tends to balance risks -- but she still actively keeps an element of risk-free thinking when it comes to doing the right thing.
As cofounder of the Together We Build It Foundation, an intergenerational organization working to builds peace in Libya, Sharief promotes human rights, gender equality and political participation. Doing the right thing regardless of risk remains her life principle, and activism remains her lifestyle -- one that helps individuals become aware of their responsibility towards humanity and the environment.
Hajer Sharief | Speaker | TED.com