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Teresa Bejan: Is civility a sham?
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What exactly is civility, and what does it require? In a talk packed with historical insights, political theorist Teresa Bejan explains how civility has been used as both the foundation of tolerant societies and as a way for political partisans to silence and dismiss opposing views. Bejan suggests that we should instead try for "mere civility": the virtue of being able to disagree fundamentally with others without destroying the possibility of a common life tomorrow. (This talk contains mature language.)
Teresa Bejan - Political theorist, author
Teresa Bejan writes about political theory, bringing historical perspectives to bear on contemporary questions. Full bio
Teresa Bejan writes about political theory, bringing historical perspectives to bear on contemporary questions. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
This talk contains mature language
Viewer discretion is advised
Viewer discretion is advised
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Let's get this out of the way.
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I'm here because I wrote
a book about civility,
a book about civility,
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and because that book came out
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right around the 2016
American presidential election,
American presidential election,
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I started getting lots of invitations
to come and talk about civility
to come and talk about civility
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and why we need more of it
in American politics.
in American politics.
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So great.
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The only problem was that I had written
that book about civility
that book about civility
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because I was convinced
that civility is ...
that civility is ...
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bullshit.
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(Laughter)
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Now, that may sound
like a highly uncivil thing to say,
like a highly uncivil thing to say,
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and lucky for you, and for my publisher,
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I did eventually come to change my mind.
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In the course of writing that book
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and studying the long history
of civility and religious tolerance
of civility and religious tolerance
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in the 17th century,
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I came to discover
that there is a virtue of civility,
that there is a virtue of civility,
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and far from being bullshit,
it's actually absolutely essential,
it's actually absolutely essential,
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especially for tolerant societies,
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so societies like this one,
that promise not only to protect diversity
that promise not only to protect diversity
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but also the heated and sometimes
even hateful disagreements
even hateful disagreements
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that that diversity inspires.
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You see, the thing about disagreement
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is that there is a reason
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that "disagreeable" is a synonym
for "unpleasant."
for "unpleasant."
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As the English philosopher
Thomas Hobbes pointed out
Thomas Hobbes pointed out
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all the way back in 1642,
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that's because the mere act
of disagreement is offensive.
of disagreement is offensive.
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And Hobbes is still right.
It works like this:
It works like this:
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so, if you and I disagree,
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and I'm right, because I always am,
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how am I to make sense of the fact
that you are so very, very wrong?
that you are so very, very wrong?
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It couldn't possibly be that you've just
come to a different conclusion
come to a different conclusion
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in good faith?
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No, you must be up to something,
you must be stupid,
you must be stupid,
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bigoted, interested.
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Maybe you're insane.
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And the same goes the other way. Right?
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So the mere fact
of your disagreeing with me
of your disagreeing with me
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is implicitly an insult not only
to my views, but to my intelligence, too.
to my views, but to my intelligence, too.
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And things only get worse
when the disagreements at stake
when the disagreements at stake
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are the ones that we somehow
consider to be fundamental,
consider to be fundamental,
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whether to our worldviews
or to our identities.
or to our identities.
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You know the kinds of disagreement I mean.
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One doesn't discuss religion or politics
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or increasingly, the politics
of popular culture, at the dinner table,
of popular culture, at the dinner table,
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because these are the disagreements,
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these are the things that people
really, seriously disagree about,
really, seriously disagree about,
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and they define themselves against
their opponents in the controversy.
their opponents in the controversy.
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But of course
those fundamental disagreements
those fundamental disagreements
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are precisely the ones
that tolerant societies
that tolerant societies
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like the United States
propose to tolerate,
propose to tolerate,
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which perhaps explains why,
historically, at least,
historically, at least,
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tolerant societies haven't been
the happy-clappy communities of difference
the happy-clappy communities of difference
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that you sometimes hear about.
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No, they tend to be places
where people have to hold their noses
where people have to hold their noses
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and rub along together
despite their mutual contempt.
despite their mutual contempt.
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That's what I learned
from studying religious tolerance
from studying religious tolerance
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in early modern England and America.
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And I also learned
that the virtue that makes
that the virtue that makes
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that un-murderous coexistence,
if you will, possible,
if you will, possible,
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is the virtue of civility,
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because civility makes
our disagreements tolerable
our disagreements tolerable
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so that we can share a life together
even if we don't share a faith --
even if we don't share a faith --
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religious, political or otherwise.
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Still, I couldn't help but notice
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that when most people
talk about civility today --
talk about civility today --
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and boy, do they talk
about civility a lot --
about civility a lot --
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they seem to have something else in mind.
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So if civility is the virtue that makes it
possible to tolerate disagreement
possible to tolerate disagreement
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so that we can actually
engage with our opponents,
engage with our opponents,
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talking about civility
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seems to be mainly
a strategy of disengagement.
a strategy of disengagement.
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It's a little bit like threatening
to take your ball and go home
to take your ball and go home
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when the game isn't going your way.
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Because the funny thing about incivility
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is that it's always
the sin of our opponents.
the sin of our opponents.
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It's funny.
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When it comes to our own bad behavior,
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well, we seem to develop
sudden-onset amnesia,
sudden-onset amnesia,
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or we can always justify it
as an appropriate response
as an appropriate response
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to the latest outrage from our opponents.
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So, "How can I be civil to someone
who is set out to destroy
who is set out to destroy
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everything I stand for?
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And by the way, they started it."
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It's all terrifically convenient.
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Also convenient is the fact
that most of today's big civility talkers
that most of today's big civility talkers
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tend to be quite vague and fuzzy
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when it comes to what they think
civility actually entails.
civility actually entails.
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We're told that civility
is simply a synonym for respect,
is simply a synonym for respect,
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for good manners, for politeness,
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but at the same time, it's clear
that to accuse someone of incivility
that to accuse someone of incivility
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is much, much worse
than calling them impolite,
than calling them impolite,
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because to be uncivil
is to be potentially intolerable
is to be potentially intolerable
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in a way that merely being rude isn't.
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So to call someone uncivil,
to accuse them of incivility,
to accuse them of incivility,
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is a way of communicating
that they are somehow beyond the pale,
that they are somehow beyond the pale,
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that they're not worth
engaging with at all.
engaging with at all.
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So here's the thing:
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civility isn't bullshit,
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it's precious because it's the virtue
that makes fundamental disagreement
that makes fundamental disagreement
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not only possible but even
sometimes occasionally productive.
sometimes occasionally productive.
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It's precious, but it's also
really, really difficult.
really, really difficult.
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Civility talk, on the other hand,
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well, that's really easy,
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really easy,
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and it also is almost always
complete bullshit,
complete bullshit,
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which makes things slightly awkward for me
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as I continue to talk to you
about civility.
about civility.
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(Laughter)
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Anyway, we tend to forget it,
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but politicians and intellectuals
have been warning us for decades now
have been warning us for decades now
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that the United States
is facing a crisis of civility,
is facing a crisis of civility,
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and they've tended to blame that crisis
on technological developments,
on technological developments,
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on things like cable TV,
talk radio, social media.
talk radio, social media.
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But any historian will tell you
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that there never was a golden age
of disagreement,
of disagreement,
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let alone good feelings,
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not in American politics.
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In my book, though, I argue
that the first modern crisis of civility
that the first modern crisis of civility
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actually began about 500 years ago,
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when a certain professor of theology
named Martin Luther
named Martin Luther
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took advantage of a recent advancement
in communications technology,
in communications technology,
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the printing press,
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to call the Pope the Antichrist,
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and thus inadvertently launch
the Protestant Reformation.
the Protestant Reformation.
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So think of the press, if you will,
as the Twitter of the 16th century,
as the Twitter of the 16th century,
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and Martin Luther as the original troll.
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And I'm not exaggerating here.
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He once declared himself unable to pray
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without at the same time cursing
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his "anti-Christian,"
i.e. Catholic, opponents.
i.e. Catholic, opponents.
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And of course, those Catholic opponents
clutched their pearls
clutched their pearls
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and called for civility then, too,
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but all the while,
they gave as good as they got
they gave as good as they got
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with traditional slurs like "heretic,"
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and, worst of all, "Protestant,"
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which began in the 16th century
as an insult.
as an insult.
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The thing about
civility talk, then as now,
civility talk, then as now,
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was that you could call out
your opponent for going low,
your opponent for going low,
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and then take advantage
of the moral high ground
of the moral high ground
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to go as low or lower,
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because calling for civility
sets up the speaker
sets up the speaker
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as a model of decorum
while implicitly, subtly stigmatizing
while implicitly, subtly stigmatizing
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anyone with the temerity
to disagree as uncivil.
to disagree as uncivil.
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And so civility talk in the 17th century
becomes a really effective way
becomes a really effective way
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for members of the religious establishment
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to silence, suppress, exclude dissenters
outside of the established church,
outside of the established church,
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especially when they spoke out
against the status quo.
against the status quo.
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So Anglican ministers
could lecture atheists
could lecture atheists
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on the offensiveness of their discourse.
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Everyone could complain about the Quakers
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for refusing to doff and don their hats
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or their "uncouth" practice
of shaking hands.
of shaking hands.
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But those accusations of incivility
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pretty soon became
pretexts for persecution.
pretexts for persecution.
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So far, so familiar, right?
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We see that strategy again and again.
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It's used to silence civil rights
protesters in the 20th century.
protesters in the 20th century.
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And I think it explains
why partisans on both sides of the aisle
why partisans on both sides of the aisle
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keep reaching for this,
frankly, antiquated,
frankly, antiquated,
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early modern language of civility
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precisely when they want to communicate
that certain people and certain views
that certain people and certain views
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are beyond the pale,
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but they want to save
themselves the trouble
themselves the trouble
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of actually making an argument.
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So no wonder skeptics like me
tend to roll our eyes
tend to roll our eyes
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when the calls for
conversational virtue begin,
conversational virtue begin,
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because instead of healing
our social and political divisions,
our social and political divisions,
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it seems like so much civility talk
is actually making the problem worse.
is actually making the problem worse.
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It's saving us the trouble
of actually speaking to each other,
of actually speaking to each other,
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allowing us to speak
past each other or at each other
past each other or at each other
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while signaling our superior virtue
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and letting the audience know
which side we're on.
which side we're on.
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And given this, I think
one might be forgiven, as I did,
one might be forgiven, as I did,
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for assuming that because
so much civility talk is bullshit,
so much civility talk is bullshit,
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well then, the virtue of civility
must be bullshit, too.
must be bullshit, too.
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But here, again, I think a little
historical perspective goes a long way.
historical perspective goes a long way.
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Because remember, the same
early modern crisis of civility
early modern crisis of civility
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that launched the Reformation
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also gave birth to tolerant societies,
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places like Rhode Island, Pennsylvania,
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and indeed, eventually the United States,
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places that at least aspired
to protect disagreement
to protect disagreement
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as well as diversity,
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and what made that possible
was the virtue of civility.
was the virtue of civility.
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What made disagreement tolerable,
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what it made it possible
for us to share a life,
for us to share a life,
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even when we didn't share a faith,
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was a virtue,
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but one, I think,
that is perhaps less aspirational
that is perhaps less aspirational
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and a lot more confrontational
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than the one that people
who talk about civility a lot today
who talk about civility a lot today
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tend to have in mind.
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So I like to call that virtue
"mere civility."
"mere civility."
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You may know it as the virtue
that allows us to get through
that allows us to get through
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our relations with an ex-spouse,
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or a bad neighbor,
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not to mention a member
of the other party.
of the other party.
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Because to be merely civil
is to meet a low bar grudgingly,
is to meet a low bar grudgingly,
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and that, again, makes sense,
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because civility is a virtue
that's meant to help us disagree,
that's meant to help us disagree,
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and as Hobbes told us
all those centuries ago,
all those centuries ago,
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disagreeable means unpleasant
for a reason.
for a reason.
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But if it isn't bullshit,
what exactly is civility or mere civility?
what exactly is civility or mere civility?
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What does it require?
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Well, to start, it is not and cannot be
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the same thing
as being respectful or polite,
as being respectful or polite,
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because we need civility precisely
when we're dealing with those people
when we're dealing with those people
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that we find it the most difficult,
or maybe even impossible, to respect.
or maybe even impossible, to respect.
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Similarly, being civil
can't be the same as being nice,
can't be the same as being nice,
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because being nice means not telling
people what you really think about them
people what you really think about them
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or their wrong, wrong views.
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No, being civil means speaking your mind,
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but to your opponent's face,
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not behind her back.
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Being merely civil
means not pulling our punches,
means not pulling our punches,
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but at the same time, it means maybe
not landing all those punches all at once,
not landing all those punches all at once,
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because the point of mere civility
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is to allow us to disagree,
to disagree fundamentally,
to disagree fundamentally,
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but to do so without denying or destroying
the possibility of a common life tomorrow
the possibility of a common life tomorrow
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with the people that we think
are standing in our way today.
are standing in our way today.
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And in that sense, I think
civility is actually closely related
civility is actually closely related
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to another virtue, the virtue of courage.
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So mere civility is having the courage
to make yourself disagreeable,
to make yourself disagreeable,
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and to stay that way,
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but to do so while staying in the room
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and staying present to your opponents.
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And it also means that, sometimes,
calling bullshit on people's civility talk
calling bullshit on people's civility talk
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is really the only civil thing to do.
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At least that's what I think.
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But look, if I've learned anything
from studying the long history
from studying the long history
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of religious tolerance
in the 17th century, it's this:
in the 17th century, it's this:
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if you're talking about civility
as a way to avoid an argument,
as a way to avoid an argument,
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to isolate yourself
in the more agreeable company
in the more agreeable company
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of the like-minded
who already agree with you,
who already agree with you,
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if you find yourself
never actually speaking to anyone
never actually speaking to anyone
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who really, truly, fundamentally
disagrees with you,
disagrees with you,
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well, you're doing civility wrong.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)
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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Teresa Bejan - Political theorist, authorTeresa Bejan writes about political theory, bringing historical perspectives to bear on contemporary questions.
Why you should listen
Teresa Bejan is Associate Professor of Political Theory and Fellow of Oriel College at the University of Oxford. She received her PhD with distinction from Yale in 2013 and was awarded the American Political Science Association's 2015 Leo Strauss Award for the best dissertation in political philosophy. In 2016 she was elected as the final Balzan-Skinner Fellow in Modern Intellectual History at Cambridge. Her inaugural lecture, "Acknowledging Equality," can be viewed here. Bejan publishes regularly in popular and scholarly venues and has taught at universities across the US, Canada, and the UK.
Bejan's first book, Mere Civility: Disagreement and the Limits of Toleration (Harvard University Press, 2017) was called "penetrating and sophisticated" by the New York Times, and her work has been featured on PBS, WNYC, CBC radio, Philosophy Bites and other podcasts. In addition to her many articles in academic journals and edited volumes, she has written on free speech and civility for The Atlantic and The Washington Post.
Teresa Bejan | Speaker | TED.com