ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Lindy Lou Isonhood - Wife, mother, grandmother, friend
Lindy Lou Isonhood served as Juror No. 2 on a capital murder trial in 1994 -- an experience that changed her life.

Why you should listen

As Lindy Lou Isonhood writes: "I was born in Yazoo City, Mississippi, in December 1951 and was raised by my grandmother, a widow with nine children. She was my salvation. From her nurturing I acquired my integrity, independence and strength. She impacted the lives of all around her. I was employed for over half my life: as a federal police officer in the 1970s, then I went on to be the first female letter carrier with the US Postal Service in Jackson for seven years, followed by 18 years in the MS Army National Guard. I ended my working career as an office manager after 13 years with an architectural firm.

"A strong Christian, I am married to a retired colonel who is a very staunch conservative, like me. I'm the mother of two children, a son and a daughter, and three grandchildren -- all girls! The hearts of my life! There is nothing extraordinary about me. I have never achieved fame or any outstanding records or recognition. Never received a college degree although I have many accumulated hours. But my life reached a turning point when I served as a juror in the sentencing phase of a capital murder trial in 1994. This experience changed me from the inside out."

More profile about the speaker
Lindy Lou Isonhood | Speaker | TED.com
TEDWomen 2018

Lindy Lou Isonhood: A juror's reflections on the death penalty

Lindi Lu Ajsonhud (Lindy Lou Isonhood): Osvrt porotnice na smrtnu kaznu

Filmed:
1,627,727 views

Lindi Lu Ajsonhud je odrasla u gradu u kome je smrtna kazna svakidašnja pojava, deo kulture koji se podrazumeva. Međutim, nakon što je bila porotnica na suđenju za ubistvo, i nakon što je glasala da se krivac osudi na smrt, nešto u njoj se promenilo. U ovom zanimljivom i ličnom govoru, Ajsonhud se osvrće na pitanje koje je sebi postavljala tokom 25 godina od suđenja: da li sam ja ubica?
- Wife, mother, grandmother, friend
Lindy Lou Isonhood served as Juror No. 2 on a capital murder trial in 1994 -- an experience that changed her life. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:13
It was a ThursdayU četvrtak,
0
1166
2356
Četvrtak je,
00:15
JuneJuna the 23rdRD, 1994.
1
3546
3868
23. jun 1994. godine.
00:23
(SighsUzdahe)
2
11086
1159
(Uzdah)
00:24
"CollectPrikupljanje your belongingsstvari.
You are freeбесплатно to go.
3
12269
2848
„Pokupite svoje stvari.
Slobodni ste da idete.
00:28
When escortedIspratila outsideспоља,
go directlyдиректно to your carауто.
4
16808
4101
Kada vas isprate napolje,
idite direktno u automobil.
00:32
Do not talk to reportersновинари."
5
20933
2784
Ne razgovarajte sa novinarima.“
00:36
My headглава is spinningпредење,
6
24983
1544
Vrti mi se u glavi,
00:38
my heartсрце is racingтрке,
7
26551
1479
srce mi lupa.
00:40
I can't get a breathдах.
8
28054
1646
Ne mogu da dođem do daha.
00:43
I just want out of there.
9
31108
1786
Samo želim napolje.
00:47
When I get to my carауто,
10
35589
1908
Kada sam stigla do auta,
00:49
I throwбацање everything on the back,
11
37521
1948
bacam sve na zadnje sedište
00:52
and I just collapseколапс
into the driver'sвозача seatседиште.
12
40450
2305
i prosto se rušim na vozačevo sedište.
00:55
"I can't do this.
13
43637
1707
„Ne mogu to da uradim.
00:57
I can't go home to my familyпородица
14
45368
3658
Ne mogu da idem kući svojoj porodici
01:02
that I haven'tније seenвиђено in a weekНедеља
15
50231
3049
koju nisam videla nedelju dana
01:06
and pretendпретварати се to be happyсрећан."
16
54455
1775
i da se pretvaram da sam srećna.“
01:10
Not even theirњихова love and supportподршка
17
58764
3449
Čak mi ni njihova ljubav i podrška
01:14
could help me at this particularпосебно time.
18
62237
2750
nisu mogle pomoći
u ovom naročitom trenutku.
01:19
We had just sentencedosuđen a man to deathсмрт.
19
67592
3133
Upravo smo osudili čoveka na smrt.
01:26
Now what?
20
74210
1294
Šta sad?
01:28
Just go home and washпрање dishesпосуђе?
21
76909
2346
Prosto da idem kući i perem sudove?
01:32
You see, in MississippiMisisipi,
22
80772
3466
Vidite, u Misisipiju,
01:37
the deathсмрт penaltykazna is like a partдео
of our unspokenneizgovorena cultureкултура.
23
85423
3811
smrtna kazna je na neki način
podrazumevani deo naše kulture.
01:43
The basicосновно logicлогика is, if you murderубиство someoneнеко,
24
91821
3627
Osnovna logika kaže: ako ubijete nekoga,
01:47
then you're going to receiveпримити
the deathсмрт penaltykazna.
25
95472
2691
dobićete smrtnu kaznu.
01:51
So when the juryпорота selectionизбор
processпроцес tookузела placeместо,
26
99744
4978
Zato, kad je otpočeo proces
izbora porotnika,
01:57
they askedпитао me,
27
105623
1519
upitali su me:
02:01
"Could you,
28
109646
1835
„Da li ćete moći,
02:03
if the evidenceдоказ presentedпредстављен
justifiedоправдано the deathсмрт penaltykazna,
29
111505
5499
ukoliko priloženi dokazi
opravdavaju smrtnu kaznu,
02:09
could you deliverиспоручи,
30
117028
2334
da li ćete moći da donesete,
02:11
rationallyracionalno and withoutбез reservationsрезервације,
31
119386
2500
racionalno i bez ustupanja,
02:13
a penaltykazna of deathсмрт?"
32
121910
1598
odluku o smrtnoj kazni?“
02:17
My answerодговор was an astoundingзапањујуће "yes,"
33
125545
3171
Moj odgovor je bio zaprepašćeno „da“,
02:21
and I was selectedизабран as JurorPorotnik NumberBroj 2.
34
129676
2603
i ja sam odabrana kao porotnik broj dva.
02:26
The trialсуђење startedпочела.
35
134410
1526
Suđenje je počelo.
02:28
From the evidenceдоказ beingбиће presentedпредстављен
36
136559
2324
Na osnovu priloženih dokaza
02:32
and from the picturesслике of the victimжртва,
37
140106
2820
i fotografija žrtve,
02:34
my first responseодговор was,
"Yes, this man is a monsterчудовиште,
38
142950
4959
moja prvobitna reakcija je bila:
„Da, ovaj čovek je čudovište
02:39
and he deserveszaslužuje the deathсмрт penaltykazna."
39
147933
2455
i zaslužuje smrtnu kaznu.“
02:44
For daysдана, I satсат and lookedпогледао at his handsруке,
40
152082
4644
Danima sam sedela
i posmatrala njegove ruke,
02:48
the onesоне that yieldedpopustio the knifeнож,
41
156750
2782
one koje su posegnule za nožem,
02:53
and againstпротив his pastyPasty whiteбео skinкожа,
42
161883
3841
kao i naspram njegove bolećive bele kože,
02:58
his eyesочи ...
43
166589
1439
njegove oči...
03:00
Well, he spentпотрошено endlessбескрајно daysдана in his cellмобилни,
44
168820
3356
Proveo je beskrajne dane u svojoj ćeliji,
03:04
no sunlightсунчева светлост,
45
172200
1582
bez sunčeve svetlosti,
03:05
so his eyesочи were as blackцрн
as his hairкоса and his mustachebrkove.
46
173806
3887
pa su njegove oči bile crne
kao i kosa i brkovi.
03:10
He was very intimidatingzastrašivanje,
47
178609
2784
Izgledao je veoma zastrašujuće,
03:14
and there was absolutelyапсолутно
no doubtсумња in his guiltkrivicu.
48
182424
4359
i nije postojala ni najmanja sumnja
u njegovu krivicu.
03:21
But regardlessбез обзира of his guiltkrivicu,
49
189037
1816
Međutim, bez obzira na njegovu krivicu,
03:23
as the daysдана passedположио,
50
191440
2196
kako su dani prolazili,
03:26
I beganпочела to see this monsterчудовиште
51
194435
3185
počela sam da gledam na ovo čudovište
03:30
as a humanљудско beingбиће.
52
198684
1866
kao na ljudsko biće.
03:34
Something insideу of me was changingпромена
that I just didn't understandРазумем.
53
202014
4311
Nešto u meni se menjalo
i ja to prosto nisam razumela.
03:39
I was beginningпочетак to questionпитање myselfЈа сам
54
207106
2454
Počela sam da se preispitujem
03:41
as to whetherда ли је or not I wanted
to give this man the deathсмрт penaltykazna.
55
209584
4295
da li zaista želim da osudim
ovog čoveka na smrtnu kaznu.
03:47
JuryPorota deliberationsrazmatranje beganпочела,
56
215713
2180
Počelo je većanje porotnika
03:50
and the judgeсудија gaveдала us juryпорота instructionsупутства
57
218556
4278
i sudija nam je dao uputstva za porotnike,
03:56
and it was to be used as a toolоруђе
58
224397
2757
a njih je trebalo da koristimo kao oruđe
03:59
in how to reachдостигнути a verdictпресуда.
59
227178
2719
da dođemo do presude.
04:02
Well, usingКористећи this toolоруђе
only led to one decisionодлука,
60
230869
4661
Pa, upotreba ovog oruđa
je dovela do samo jedne odluke,
04:07
and that was the deathсмрт penaltykazna.
61
235554
1879
a to je bila smrtna kazna.
04:10
I feltосетио backedподржани into a cornerугао.
62
238506
2079
Osetila sam se sateranom u ćošak.
04:13
My headглава and my heartсрце
were in conflictконфликт with eachсваки other,
63
241176
3424
Moja glava i srce
su bili u sukobu jedno s drugim,
04:16
and the thought of the deathсмрт penaltykazna
64
244624
2135
a od pomisli na smrtnu kaznu
04:18
madeмаде me sickболестан.
65
246783
1496
bi mi pozlilo.
04:23
HoweverMeđutim, followingследећи
the judge'sSudija je instructionsупутства,
66
251369
4779
Međutim, prateći uputstva sudije,
04:28
beingбиће a law-abidingpoštenim personособа,
67
256172
2402
budući da sam osoba koja poštuje zakon,
04:31
I gaveдала up.
68
259972
1296
predala sam se.
04:34
I gaveдала up and votedгласао alongзаједно
with the other 11 jurorsporotnika.
69
262390
4288
Predala sam se i glasala
u saglasju sa 11 ostalih porotnika.
04:40
And there it was:
70
268608
1400
I eto ga:
04:42
our brokenсломљен judicialpravosudne systemсистем at work.
71
270754
4194
naš pokvaren sudski sistem na delu.
04:50
So here I am in my carауто,
72
278021
2365
Dakle, eto me u svojim kolima
04:52
and I'm wonderingпитајући се:
73
280410
1607
i pitam se:
04:54
How is my life ever going to be the sameисти?
74
282041
4106
kako će moj život ikad
da bude isti ponovo?
04:59
My life was kidsклинци, work,
churchцрква, ballлопта gamesигре --
75
287049
5448
Moj život su bili deca, posao,
crkva, igre loptom -
05:04
just your averageпросек, normalнормално, everydayсваки дан life.
76
292521
3446
prosto prosečan, normalan,
svakodnevni život.
05:08
Now everything feltосетио trivialтривијалан.
77
296998
2444
Sad se sve činilo beznačajnim.
05:11
I was going down this rabbitzec holeрупа.
78
299466
2257
Propadala sam kroz ponor.
05:14
The angerбес, the anxietyanksioznost,
79
302978
3372
Bes, anksioznost,
05:18
the guiltkrivicu, the depressionдепресија ...
80
306374
2834
krivica, depresija...
05:21
it just clungdrћao to me.
81
309232
1635
sve se to prosto lepilo za mene.
05:23
I knewзнала that my life had to resumebiografija,
82
311989
3748
Znala sam da moj život mora da se nastavi,
05:29
so I soughtтражи counselingsavetovanje.
83
317038
1642
pa sam posegla za savetovalištem.
05:31
The counselorzastupnice diagnoseddijagnoza me with PTSDPTSP-A
84
319252
3287
Savetnica mi je dijagnostikovala
posttraumatski stresni poremećaj
05:35
and told me that the bestнајбоље way
to overcomeпревладали the PTSDPTSP-A
85
323217
4608
i rekla mi je da je najbolji način
da ga prevaziđem
05:40
was to talk about the traumatraume.
86
328541
1829
da govorim o traumi.
05:43
HoweverMeđutim, if I talkedпричао or triedПокушали
to talk about the traumatraume
87
331559
5393
Međutim, ako bih govorila
ili pokušala da govorim o traumi
05:48
outsideспоља her officeканцеларија,
88
336976
1424
van njene kancelarije,
05:50
I was shutзатворите down.
89
338424
1837
ućutkivali bi me.
05:52
No one wanted to hearчујеш about it.
90
340285
2286
Niko nije želeo da sluša o tome.
05:55
He was just a murdererубица. Get over it.
91
343030
3515
Bio je obični ubica. Prevaziđi to.
05:59
It was then that I decidedодлучио
to becomeпостати a silentтихо survivorpreživeli.
92
347513
5131
Tada sam odlučila da postanem
tihi borac za opstanak.
06:06
TwelveDvanaest yearsгодине laterкасније, 2006,
93
354263
2945
Dvanaest godina kasnije, 2006. godine,
06:09
I learnedнаучио that BobbyBobi WilcherWilcher
had droppedпао all of his appealsžalbe,
94
357953
5076
saznala sam da je Bobi Vilčer
odustao od svih žalbi
06:15
and his executionизвршење dateдатум was approachingprilazi.
95
363053
3606
i da se približava dan
njegovog pogubljenja.
06:19
That was like a punchudarac in the stomachстомак.
96
367291
2182
To kao da me je udarilo u stomak.
06:22
All of those buriedпокопан feelingsосећања
just startedпочела comingдолазе back.
97
370143
3491
Sva ta zakopana osećanja
su samo počela da se vraćaju.
06:27
To try and find peaceмир,
I calledпозвани Bobby'sBobby je attorneyAdvokat, and I said,
98
375943
4857
Kako bih pokušala da nađem mir,
nazvala sam Bobijevog advokata i rekla:
06:32
"Can I see BobbyBobi before he's executedpogubljen?"
99
380824
2487
„Mogu li da vidim Bobija
pre nego što ga pogube?“
06:36
DrivingVozi to the penitentiaryzatvor
on the day of his executionизвршење,
100
384470
4791
Vozeći do zatvora
na dan njegovog pogubljenja,
06:41
in my mindум,
101
389285
1544
u mom umu,
06:42
BobbyBobi was going to be manicManić.
102
390853
2362
Bobi je trebalo da bude maničan.
06:45
But, surprisinglyизненађујуће, he was very calmмирно.
103
393975
4356
Međutim, na moje iznenađenje,
bio je veoma smiren.
06:50
And for two hoursсати, he and I satсат there
and talkedпричао about life,
104
398967
5172
I dva sata smo on i ja sedeli
i razgovarali o životu,
06:56
and I got to askпитати him to forgiveопрости me
for my handруку in his deathсмрт.
105
404753
6442
i ja sam stigla da ga pitam da mi oprosti
zbog mog udela u njegovoj smrti.
07:04
His wordsречи to me were:
106
412212
1868
Njegove reči upućene meni su glasile:
07:06
"You don't have to apologizeизвинити се.
107
414748
2224
„Ne moraš da se izvinjavaš.
07:08
You didn't put me here.
108
416996
1930
Nisi me ti smestila ovde.
07:10
I did this myselfЈа сам.
109
418950
2265
Sam sam to uradio.
07:14
But if it'llто ће make you feel better,
110
422032
1829
Ali ako ćeš da se osećaš bolje,
07:15
I forgiveопрости you."
111
423885
1579
opraštam ti.“
07:19
On my way home,
112
427097
1778
Na putu do kuće,
07:20
I stoppedпрестала by a restaurantРесторан
and boughtкупио a margaritaMargarita.
113
428899
3986
zaustavila sam se ispred restorana
i kupila margaritu.
07:24
(LaughterSmeh)
114
432909
3687
(Smeh)
07:29
I don't think I could
get one bigвелики enoughдовољно --
115
437107
2097
Mislim da nisu imali dovoljno veliku -
07:31
(LaughterSmeh)
116
439228
1195
(Smeh)
07:32
to try and calmмирно down.
117
440447
2001
kako bih pokušala da se smirim.
07:35
My phoneтелефон rangzazvonio.
118
443411
1875
Zazvonio mi je telefon.
07:38
It was Bobby'sBobby je attorneyAdvokat.
119
446244
1746
To je bio Bobijev advokat.
07:41
WithinU roku od two minutesминута of his executionизвршење,
120
449180
3002
Na dva minuta do pogubljenja,
07:44
they had givenдато him a stayостани.
121
452206
2094
odobrili su mu odlaganje.
07:48
This stayостани gaveдала me time
122
456456
3175
Ovo mi je dalo vremena
07:52
to reachдостигнути out to BobbyBobi.
123
460377
1704
da uspostavim kontakt sa Bobijem.
07:55
And as crazyлуд as it mayможе soundзвук,
124
463319
2141
I koliko god vam blesavo zvučalo,
07:57
we becameпостао friendsпријатељи.
125
465484
1902
postali smo prijatelji.
08:00
ThreeTri monthsмесеци laterкасније,
126
468936
1984
Tri meseca kasnije,
08:02
he was executedpogubljen
by the StateDržava of MississippiMisisipi.
127
470944
2842
pogubljen je od strane države Misisipi.
08:07
I'm here to tell you my storyприча,
128
475415
4589
Ovde sam da bih vam ispričala svoju priču
08:13
because it was preciselyпрецизно 22 yearsгодине laterкасније
129
481163
5062
jer prošle su tačno 22 godine
08:18
that I even wanted to openотворен up
enoughдовољно to talk about it,
130
486249
3674
pre nego što sam čak i poželela
da se dovoljno otvorim i pričam o tome,
08:23
when a friendпријатељ encouragedohrabrio me.
131
491148
2028
kada me je prijatelj ohrabrio.
08:26
"Hey, perhapsможда you need to talk
to the other jurorsporotnika.
132
494109
4115
„Hej, možda bi trebalo da razgovaraš
sa drugim porotnicima.
08:30
You've been throughкроз the sameисти experienceискуство."
133
498248
2376
Prošli ste kroz isto iskustvo.“
08:33
UncertainNeizvesna of what I was after,
134
501859
2664
Iako nesigurna za čim tragam,
08:36
I did need to talk to them.
135
504547
1808
bilo mi je potrebno da razgovaram s njima.
08:39
So I setкомплет out on my questpotraga,
136
507198
2074
Pa sam se zaputila u pohod
08:42
and I actuallyзаправо foundнашао mostнајвише of them.
137
510587
1938
i zapravo sam našla većinu njih.
08:45
The first jurorPorotnik I metиспуњен
138
513117
1757
Prvi porotnik kog sam srela
08:47
thought that BobbyBobi got what he deservedzaslužili.
139
515659
2098
smatrao je da je Bobi
dobio što je zaslužio.
08:50
AnotherDrugi jurorPorotnik --
140
518610
1420
Drugi porotnik -
08:53
well, they just kindкинд of regrettedpokajao
that it tookузела so long
141
521339
3713
pa, prosto je žalio
što je trebalo toliko vremena
08:57
to carryносити the sentencerečenice out.
142
525076
1697
da se izvrši kazna.
08:59
Then one jurorPorotnik, and I don't know
what was wrongпогрешно with him,
143
527371
2744
A jedan porotnik, pojma nemam
šta nije bilo u redu s njim,
09:02
but he didn't rememberзапамтити
anything about the trialсуђење.
144
530139
2363
ali nije se sećao
bilo čega u vezi sa suđenjem.
09:04
(LaughterSmeh)
145
532526
1899
(Smeh)
09:06
Well,
146
534449
1222
Pa,
09:08
I'm thinkingразмишљање in my mindум,
147
536902
1700
razmišljam u sebi:
09:10
"JeezIsuse, is this the responseодговор
I'm gonna get from everybodyсвима elseдруго?"
148
538626
4117
„Isuse, da li je ovo reakcija
koju ću da dobijem od svih?“
09:15
Well, thank God for AllenAlen.
149
543898
3218
Hvala bogu na Alenu.
09:19
AllenAlen was a gentleнежно soulдушу.
150
547598
2237
Alen je bio nežna duša.
09:22
And when I talkedпричао to him,
he was genuinelyискрено upsetузнемирен
151
550956
3703
I kad sam razgovarala s njim,
bio je istinski potresen
09:26
about our decisionодлука.
152
554683
1883
zbog naše odluke.
09:29
And he told me about the day
that the devastationrazaranje
153
557121
4794
I ispričao mi je za dan
kada se razorni udarac
09:33
really setкомплет in on him and hitхит him.
154
561939
3225
ustremio na njega i udario ga.
09:37
He was listeningслушање to the radioрадио,
155
565927
2244
Slušao je radio
09:40
and the radioрадио had a listлиста of namesимена
of menмушкарци to be executedpogubljen
156
568195
5367
i na radiju su čitali spisak imena
muškaraca koji će da budu pogubljeni
09:45
at ParchmanParčmanu PenitentiaryZatvor.
157
573586
1864
u zatvoru Parčman.
09:49
He heardслушао Bobby'sBobby je nameиме,
158
577370
2057
Čuo je Bobijevo ime
09:51
and he then trulyзаиста realizedреализован
what he had doneГотово.
159
579451
3626
i tada je uistinu shvatio šta je uradio.
09:55
And he said, "You know, I had
a responsibilityодговорност in that man'sчовека deathсмрт."
160
583101
4678
I rekao je: „Znaš, odgovoran
sam za smrt tog čoveka.“
10:01
Now here it is, 20-something-nešto yearsгодине laterкасније,
161
589325
2615
Eto ga, više od 20 godina kasnije
10:03
and AllenAlen is still dealingбављење
with that issueпитање.
162
591964
3468
i Alen se i dalje bavi tim pitanjem.
10:08
And he's never told anyoneбило ко about it,
not even his wifeжена.
163
596134
3788
A nikad nikome nije rekao za to,
čak ni svojoj supruzi.
10:14
He alsoтакође told me
164
602065
1414
Takođe mi je rekao
10:15
that if the StateDržava of MississippiMisisipi
wanted to keep the deathсмрт penaltykazna,
165
603503
3146
da, ukoliko država Misisipi
želi da zadrži smrtnu kaznu,
10:18
then hey, they neededпотребно to provideпружити
counselingsavetovanje for the jurorsporotnika.
166
606673
5107
onda, hej, moraju da obezbede
savetovalište za porotnike.
10:24
Then the nextследећи jurorPorotnik I metиспуњен was JaneJane.
167
612941
2969
Džejn je bila sledeća porotnica
s kojom sam se sastala.
10:27
JaneJane is now totallyтотално
againstпротив the deathсмрт penaltykazna,
168
615934
2732
Džejn je sad u potpunosti
protiv smrtne kazne.
10:31
And there was BillBil.
169
619273
1366
A tu je bio Bil.
10:33
BillBil said he had this
crushingdrobljenje depressionдепресија for weeksнедељама,
170
621394
5259
Bil je rekao kako je imao depresiju
koja ga je razarala nedeljama,
10:38
and when he wentотишао back to work,
171
626677
2083
i kada se vratio na posao,
10:40
his colleaguesколеге would say
things to him like,
172
628784
3307
kolege bi mu govorile stvari poput:
10:44
"Hey, did you fryпржити him?"
173
632115
1784
„Hej, jesi li ga spržio?“
10:45
To them, it was just a jokeшала.
174
633923
1771
Njima je to bila tek šala.
10:48
Then there was JonJon.
175
636885
1792
Potom je tu bio Džon.
10:50
JonJon said his decisionодлука weighedsvoje mišljenje on him,
176
638701
4379
Džon je rekao da ga je
njegova odluka slamala
10:55
and it burdenedoptereжena him dailyдневно.
177
643104
1946
i opterećivala svakodnevno.
10:58
The finalконачни jurorPorotnik that I spokeговорио је to was KenKen.
178
646558
3061
Poslednji porotnik
s kojim sam pričala je bio Ken.
11:01
KenKen was the foremanForman of the juryпорота.
179
649643
2273
Ken je bio glavni porotnik.
11:05
When we satсат down to talk,
180
653078
1669
Kada smo seli da razgovaramo,
11:08
it was apparentOčigledno that he was deeplyдубоко
saddenedrastužila by what we were requiredпотребан to do.
181
656485
6266
bilo je očito da je bio duboko pogođen
onim što smo bili u obavezi da uradimo.
11:15
He relivedmu je laknulo the day
that he left the courthouseсудница
182
663490
4400
Ponovo je proživljavao
dan kada je napustio sudnicu,
11:19
and he droveвозио home
183
667914
1830
vozio se kući,
11:21
and he wentотишао to put his keyкључ
in his doorврата and unlockotključavanje it,
184
669768
3086
i kada je krenuo da stavi ključ
u vrata i da ih otključa,
11:24
and he said he literallyбуквално brokeсломио down.
185
672878
3390
kaže da je bukvalno doživeo slom.
11:30
He said he knewзнала that BobbyBobi was guiltyкрив,
186
678237
3152
Kaže da je znao da je Bobi kriv,
11:33
but the decisionодлука he madeмаде,
187
681413
2095
ali da za odluku koju je doneo
11:35
he did not know
if it was the right decisionодлука.
188
683532
3913
nije znao da li je bila prava odluka.
11:40
And he said that he playedиграо it
over and over in his headглава.
189
688098
3222
I kaže da je izvrteo film
iznova i iznova u glavi.
11:43
Did we do the right thing?
190
691989
1739
Da li smo ispravno postupili?
11:46
Did we do the right thing?
191
694777
1748
Da li smo ispravno postupili?
11:49
Did we do the right thing?
192
697554
3022
Da li smo ispravno postupili?
11:55
(SighsUzdahe)
193
703966
1166
(Uzdah)
11:58
All those yearsгодине,
194
706395
1569
Sve te godine,
12:00
and I finallyконачно realizedреализован that I was not
the only disillusionedrazočarani jurorPorotnik.
195
708738
5289
i ja sam konačno shvatila
da nisam jedini razočarani porotnik.
12:06
And we talkedпричао about sharingдељење our experienceискуство
196
714778
4832
I razgovarali smo o razmeni iskustava
12:11
with potentialпотенцијал jurorsporotnika
197
719634
2409
sa potencijalnim porotnicima
12:15
to give them some insightна видику
into what to expectочекујте,
198
723392
3548
kako bismo im pružili nekakav uvid
u to šta da očekuju
12:20
and to tell them do not be complacentsamozadovoljan;
199
728006
3094
i da im kažemo da ne budu pomirljivi;
12:23
to know what you believe;
200
731703
2908
da znaju u šta veruju;
12:26
to know where you standстој and be preparedприпремљен,
201
734635
3860
da znaju svoje stanovište
i da budu spremni,
12:31
because you don't want
to walkходати in one morningјутро as a jurorPorotnik
202
739318
6136
jer ne želite da ušetate
jedno jutro kao porotnik
12:37
and leaveодлази at the endкрај of the trialсуђење
feelingОсећај like a murdererубица.
203
745478
3673
i da na kraju suđenja odete
osećajući se kao ubica.
12:42
Now, throughкроз this stormолуја in my life,
I did find some inspirationинспирација,
204
750595
3993
Sad, kroz ovu oluju u svom životu,
otkrila sam inspiraciju,
12:46
and it cameДошао in the formобразац
of my granddaughtersunuke.
205
754612
2656
a došla je u obliku mojih unuka.
12:50
My 14-year-old-година стар granddaughterunuka, MaddieMedi,
206
758669
2360
Moja 14-godišnja unuka Medi
12:53
was writingписање an essayesej
on the deathсмрт penaltykazna for schoolшкола,
207
761730
3417
je pisala školski esej o smrtnoj kazni
12:57
and she was askingпитајући me questionsпитања.
208
765171
2023
i postavljala mi je pitanja.
12:59
Well, it dawnedsvanulo on me
that this childдете was beingбиће raisedОдгојен
209
767940
3256
Pa, sinulo mi je da je ovo dete odgajano
13:03
in the sameисти eye-for-an-eyeoko-za-oko cultureкултура
210
771220
4027
u istoj kulturi „oko za oko“
13:08
as I was,
211
776003
1565
kao i ja,
13:09
or had been.
212
777592
1478
ili sam bila.
13:12
And so I explainedобјаснио је my experienceискуство
to her this way:
213
780467
3627
Pa sam joj ovako objasnila moje iskustvo:
13:16
that I had sentencedosuđen someoneнеко to deathсмрт
214
784927
3974
osudila sam nekoga na smrt
13:21
as I servedсервирано on a juryпорота.
215
789761
2359
služeći u poroti.
13:24
And I askedпитао her,
216
792144
1417
I upitala sam je:
13:26
"Did that make me a murdererубица?"
217
794479
1850
„Da li sam zbog toga ubica?“
13:29
She couldn'tније могао answerодговор.
218
797602
1412
Nije mogla da odgovori.
13:31
I knewзнала then that this topicтема
neededпотребно to be openотворен for discussionдискусија.
219
799645
4742
Tada sam shvatila da ova tema
mora da bude otvorena za razgovor.
13:36
And guessпретпостављам what happenedдесило?
220
804411
1498
I pogodite šta se desilo?
13:38
I got invitedпозвани to speakговорити, just recentlyнедавно,
221
806574
3159
Nedavno su me pozvali da govorim
13:42
in an abolitionistabolicioniste communityзаједница.
222
810358
2199
u zajednici abolicionista.
13:45
While I was there, I got a T-shirtMajica.
223
813503
2810
Dok sam bila tamo, dobila sam majicu
13:48
It saysкаже, "Stop ExecutionsPogubljenja."
224
816706
2681
sa natpisom: „Zaustavite pogubljenja“.
13:52
Well, when I get home, my 16-year-old-година стар
granddaughterunuka was there, AnnaAna,
225
820031
4110
Kad sam došla kući, moja 16-godišnja
unuka Ana je bila prisutna
13:56
and she saysкаже, "Can I have that shirtкошуља?"
226
824746
2589
i rekla je: „Mogu li
da dobijem tu majicu?“
14:00
Well, I lookedпогледао at her dadтата --
227
828065
1653
Pogledala sam u njenog oca -
14:02
her dadтата is my sonсин --
228
830557
1767
njen otac je moj sin -
14:04
and I knewзнала that he is still dealingбављење
with this deathсмрт penaltykazna issueпитање.
229
832829
4355
i znala sam da se on i dalje nosi
s ovim pitanjem smrtne kazne.
14:09
So I turnedокренуо се around
and I lookedпогледао at her, and I said,
230
837812
2671
Pa sam se okrenula,
pogledala u nju i rekla:
14:12
"Are you gonna wearносити this?"
231
840507
1695
„Da li ćeš da je nosiš?“
14:14
So she turnedокренуо се and she lookedпогледао
at her dadтата, and she said,
232
842726
3400
Okrenula se i pogledala u oca i rekla:
14:18
"DadTata, I know how you feel,
233
846150
1286
„Tata, znam kako se osećaš,
14:19
but I don't believe in the deathсмрт penaltykazna."
234
847460
4013
ali ja ne verujem u smrtnu kaznu.“
14:24
My sonсин lookedпогледао at me,
235
852337
3111
Sin me je pogledao,
14:27
shookprotresao his headглава, and said,
236
855472
2624
zavrteo glavom i rekao:
14:31
"ThanksHvala ti, MomMama."
237
859719
1652
„Hvala, mama.“
14:34
And I knewзнала it wasn'tније a niceлеп "ThanksHvala ti, MomMama."
238
862124
3361
I znala sam da se nije radilo
o finom „hvala, mama“.
14:37
(LaughterSmeh)
239
865509
1150
(Smeh)
14:39
So I learnedнаучио that life
had taughtнаучио me some lessonsлекције.
240
867964
4528
Shvatila sam da me je život
naučio nekim lekcijama.
14:46
It taughtнаучио me, if I had
not servedсервирано on that juryпорота,
241
874180
4549
Naučila sam, da nisam
služila u toj poroti,
14:51
that I would still be of the sameисти mindsetминдсет.
242
879596
3906
da bih i dalje bila
istog mentalnog sklopa.
14:57
It alsoтакође gaveдала me confidenceсамопоуздање
243
885002
2616
To mi je takođe dalo samopouzdanje
14:59
to be ableу могуцности to see throughкроз
the eyesочи of my granddaughtersunuke,
244
887642
4213
da budem u stanju da gledam
kroz oči mojih unuka,
15:03
that this youngerмлађи generationгенерације,
they're capableспособан and they're willingспремни
245
891879
5127
da su mlađe generacije
u stanju i imaju volje
15:09
to tackleтацкле these difficultтешко socialсоцијално issuesпитања.
246
897030
4373
da se bave ovim teškim
društvenim pitanjima.
15:14
And because of my experienceискуство,
247
902201
2368
A zbog mog iskustva,
15:16
my granddaughtersunuke,
248
904593
1498
moje unuke
15:18
they're now more equippedопремљен
to standстој on theirњихова ownвластити
249
906859
5047
su sada spremnije da imaju svoj stav
15:23
and to think for themselvesсами
250
911930
2443
i da razmišljaju u svoje ime,
15:26
than to relyослонити on culturalкултурно beliefsверовања.
251
914397
4700
umesto da se oslanjaju
na kulturološka ubeđenja.
15:32
So:
252
920134
1210
Dakle:
15:34
beingбиће from a conservativeконзервативан,
ChristianKristijan familyпородица
253
922115
3543
kao neko ko potiče
iz konzervativne hrišćanske porodice
15:38
from a very conservativeконзервативан stateдржава
in the UnitedUjedinjeni StatesDržava,
254
926452
4383
iz veoma konzervativne države
u Sjedinjenim Državama,
15:44
I am here to tell you
255
932415
1483
ovde sam da vam kažem
15:45
that the deathсмрт penaltykazna has newново opponentsпротивника.
256
933922
5246
da smrtna kazna ima nove protivnike.
15:51
Thank you.
257
939542
1174
Hvala vam.
15:52
(ApplauseAplauz)
258
940740
4389
(Aplauz)
Translated by Milenka Okuka
Reviewed by Ivana Krivokuća

▲Back to top

ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Lindy Lou Isonhood - Wife, mother, grandmother, friend
Lindy Lou Isonhood served as Juror No. 2 on a capital murder trial in 1994 -- an experience that changed her life.

Why you should listen

As Lindy Lou Isonhood writes: "I was born in Yazoo City, Mississippi, in December 1951 and was raised by my grandmother, a widow with nine children. She was my salvation. From her nurturing I acquired my integrity, independence and strength. She impacted the lives of all around her. I was employed for over half my life: as a federal police officer in the 1970s, then I went on to be the first female letter carrier with the US Postal Service in Jackson for seven years, followed by 18 years in the MS Army National Guard. I ended my working career as an office manager after 13 years with an architectural firm.

"A strong Christian, I am married to a retired colonel who is a very staunch conservative, like me. I'm the mother of two children, a son and a daughter, and three grandchildren -- all girls! The hearts of my life! There is nothing extraordinary about me. I have never achieved fame or any outstanding records or recognition. Never received a college degree although I have many accumulated hours. But my life reached a turning point when I served as a juror in the sentencing phase of a capital murder trial in 1994. This experience changed me from the inside out."

More profile about the speaker
Lindy Lou Isonhood | Speaker | TED.com