ABOUT THE SPEAKERS
Azim Khamisa - Author, peace activist
Azim Khamisa speaks to students and adults on nonviolence, forgiveness and peace-building, and he is a founder of two nonprofit organizations that target youth violence.

Why you should listen

Azim Khamisa writes: "I emigrated to the USA in 1974 to escape violence in Kenya, where we were a targeted minority. But 22 years ago, my only son, Tariq, who was a university student and worked a part-time job as a pizza delivery man, was killed by a 14-year-old gang member in a gang initiation ritual. Tariq was only 20 years old when he died, and needless to say it brought my life to a crashing halt. He was a good and a generous kid!

"However, even clouded in a deeply painful tragedy I saw that there were victims on both sides of the gun. Nine months after Tariq died, I founded the Tariq Khamisa Foundation (TKF). Our mission is to save lives of children, empower the right choices and teach the principles of nonviolence — of empathy, compassion, forgiveness and peacemaking. I forgave my son's killer and invited his grandfather to join me in TKF's work. With the grace of God, TKF is 22 years old and has a safe school model and is successfully keeping kids away from gangs, weapons, drugs, crime and violence. The grandfather and I are still together doing this work, and the kid who killed my son is now 36 years old and he will join us when he is paroled in October 2018. I have authored four books and speak worldwide to students and adults. I am a passionate peace activist and a teacher of nonviolence, forgiveness and spawning peacemakers."

More profile about the speaker
Azim Khamisa | Speaker | TED.com
Ples Felix - Peace activist
Ples Felix is a leader in the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, dedicated to helping stop youth violence.

Why you should listen

Ples Felix was a retired Green Beret, working in community development and raising his grandson Tony, trying hard to keep him safe and away from bad influences. But on one horrible night, Tony, in the company of older gang members, shot and killed a pizza delivery driver. It was a moment that changed many lives.

The delivery driver was Tariq Khamisa, a 20-year-old student in San Diego. His grieving father, Azim Khamisa, seeking to find meaning in unfathomable loss, started the Tariq Khamisa Foundation to address youth violence through education, mentorship and community service. And he invited Felix to join him -- because "there was a victim on both ends of that gun." Since 1995, Felix has co-led the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, developing mentorship programs that keep at-risk kids in school and on the right track.

More profile about the speaker
Ples Felix | Speaker | TED.com
TEDWomen 2017

Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix: What comes after tragedy? Forgiveness

Azim Kamisa, Ples Feliks (Azim Khamisa, Ples Felix): Šta dolazi posle tragedije? Oproštaj

Filmed:
1,124,318 views

Jedne grozne noći 1995. godine, četrnaestogodišnji unuk Plesa Feliksa ubio je sina Azima Kamise u inicijaciji bande uz podsticaj droga, alkohola i lažnog osećanja pripadnosti. Ovaj smrtonosni susret je poslao Kamisu i Feliksa na put duboke meditacije, da bi oprostili i da bi im bilo oprošteno, i u činu hrabrosti i pomirenja, njih dvojica su se sreli i formirali trajnu povezanost. Zajedno su upotrebili svoju priču kao okvir za bolje, milosrdnije društvo, u kome žrtve tragedije mogu da se razvijaju i zaleče rane. Pripremite se da vas dotakne njihova nezamisliva priča. „Mir je moguć“, kaže Kamisa. „Kako to znam? Zato što sam ja u miru.“
- Author, peace activist
Azim Khamisa speaks to students and adults on nonviolence, forgiveness and peace-building, and he is a founder of two nonprofit organizations that target youth violence. Full bio - Peace activist
Ples Felix is a leader in the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, dedicated to helping stop youth violence. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:13
AzimAzim KhamisaKhamisa: We humansљуди
have manyмноги definingдефинисање momentsмоменте in our livesживи.
0
1600
4376
Azim Kamisa: Mi, ljudi, u životu imamo
mnogo trenutaka koji nas definišu.
00:18
SometimesPonekad these momentsмоменте are joyousradostan,
1
6000
2200
Ponekad su ti trenuci radosni,
00:20
and sometimesпонекад they are heartbreakingsrceparajuće,
2
8840
2376
a ponekad uznemiruju,
00:23
tragicтрагичан.
3
11240
1360
tragični su.
00:25
But at these definingдефинисање momentsмоменте,
if we are ableу могуцности to make the right choiceизбор,
4
13240
4960
Ali u ovim definišućim momentima,
ako smo u stanju da donesemo pravu odluku,
00:30
we literallyбуквално manifestманифестовати a miracleчудо
5
18920
2936
bukvalno manifestujemo čudo
00:33
in us and othersдруги.
6
21880
2640
u sebi i drugima.
00:37
My only sonсин TariqTarik, a universityуниверзитет studentученик,
7
25480
2416
Moj sin jedinac Tarik, student,
00:39
kindкинд, generousвеликодушан, a good writerписац,
a good photographerфотограф,
8
27920
4455
prijatan, darežljiv,
dobar pisac, dobar fotograf,
00:44
had aspirationsаспирације
to work for NationalNacionalni GeographicGeografska,
9
32400
3416
imao je ambicije da radi
za Nacionalnu geografiju,
00:47
engagedангажована to a beautifulЛепа ladyдама,
10
35840
2056
bio je veren sa prelepom damom,
00:49
workedрадио је as a pizzaпица deliverymandostavljač
on FridaysPetkom and SaturdaysSvake subote.
11
37920
3640
radio je kao dostavljač pice
petkom i subotom.
00:54
He was luredNamamio to a boguslažni addressАдреса
12
42320
2256
Namamila ga je na lažnu adresu
omladinska banda.
00:56
by a youthмлади gangбанда.
13
44600
1200
00:59
And in a gangбанда initiationиницијација,
14
47160
1960
U okviru inicijacije bande,
01:01
a 14-year-old-година стар shotпуцањ and killedубијен him.
15
49880
3560
četrnaestogodišnjak je pucao i ubio ga.
01:06
The suddenизненадан, senselessbesmislen deathсмрт
16
54960
3336
Iznenadna, besmislena smrt
01:10
of an innocentневин, unarmednenaoružani humanљудско beingбиће;
17
58320
4200
nevinog, nenaoružanog ljudskog bića;
01:15
the overwhelmingпреовлађујуће grieftuga of a familyпородица;
18
63720
2240
ogromna tuga porodice;
01:18
the totalукупно confusionзбуњеност as you try
to absorbапсорбовати a newново, hideousодвратан realityреалност.
19
66760
6280
potpuna konfuzija dok pokušavate
da apsorbujete novu, groznu stvarnost.
01:25
NeedlessNepotrebno to say it broughtдоведен
my life to a crashingpada haltStoj.
20
73960
3016
Da ne pominjem da je to skrhalo moj život.
01:29
One of the hardestнајтеже things
I've ever had to do
21
77000
2456
Jedna od najtežih stvari
koje sam morao da uradim
01:31
was to call his motherмајка,
who livedживели in a differentразличит cityград.
22
79480
3216
je da pozovem njegovu majku
koja je živela u drugom gradu.
01:34
How do you tell a motherмајка
she's never going to see her sonсин again,
23
82720
3056
Kako reći majci da nikada više
neće videti svog sina,
01:37
or hearчујеш him laughсмех,
24
85800
1456
čuti ga kako se smeje,
01:39
or give him a hugzagrljaj?
25
87280
1200
zagrliti ga?
01:42
I practiceпракса as a SufiSufi MuslimMuslimanska.
26
90520
1976
Upražnjavam veru kao musliman sufista.
01:44
I meditatemeditirati two hoursсати a day.
27
92520
2280
Meditiram dva sata dnevno.
01:47
And sometimesпонекад,
28
95680
1256
Ponekad,
01:48
in deepдубоко traumatraume and deepдубоко tragedyтрагедија,
29
96960
3256
u trenucima duboke traume i tragedije,
01:52
there is a sparkiskra of clarityјасноћа.
30
100240
1880
javi se iskra jasnoće.
01:55
So what I downloadedпреузете in my meditationmeditacija
31
103160
2856
Ono što sam izvukao kroz svoju meditaciju
01:58
is that there were victimsжртве
at bothи једно и друго endsКрајеви of the gunпиштољ.
32
106040
3160
je da su žrtve postojale
sa obe strane pištolja.
02:02
It's easyлако to see that my sonсин
was a victimжртва of the 14-year-old-година стар,
33
110400
3856
Lako je videti da je moj sin
bio žrtva tog četrnaestogodišnjaka,
02:06
a little bitмало complicatedкомпликован to see
that he was a victimжртва of AmericanAmerikanac societyдруштво.
34
114280
5736
a malo je komplikovanije videti
da je on žrtva američkog društva.
02:12
And that begsMoli the questionпитање,
well, who is AmericanAmerikanac societyдруштво?
35
120040
3456
A to povlači sa sobom pitanje:
pa, ko predstavlja američko društvo?
02:15
Well, it's you and me,
36
123520
1256
Pa, to smo vi i ja,
02:16
because I don't believe
that societyдруштво is just happenstancesluиajnost.
37
124800
3935
jer ne mislim da je društvo
prosto stvar slučaja.
02:20
I think we are all responsibleодговоран
for the societyдруштво we'veми смо createdстворено.
38
128759
3961
Mislim da smo svi mi odgovorni
za društvo koje smo stvorili.
02:25
And childrenдеца killingубијање childrenдеца
is not a markмарк of a civilцивилно societyдруштво.
39
133560
3800
A deca koja ubijaju decu
nisu znak građanskog društva.
02:30
So nineдевет monthsмесеци after TariqTarik diedумро,
40
138120
2080
Devet meseci nakon što je Tarik umro
02:33
I startedпочела the TariqTarik KhamisaKhamisa FoundationFondacija
41
141040
2200
osnovao sam fondaciju Tarik Kamisa,
02:35
and our mandateмандат
at the TariqTarik KhamisaKhamisa FoundationFondacija
42
143840
2656
i naša je obaveza u fondaciji Tarik Kamisa
02:38
is to stop kidsклинци from killingубијање kidsклинци
43
146520
2456
da sprečimo da deca ubijaju decu
02:41
by breakingломљење the cycleциклус of youthмлади violenceнасиље.
44
149000
2776
tako što prekidamo ciklus
nasilja među mladima.
02:43
And essentiallyУ суштини we have threeтри mandatesмандате.
45
151800
1896
U suštini imamo tri misije.
02:45
Our first and foremostпре свега
is to saveсачувати livesживи of childrenдеца.
46
153720
3800
Prva i najvažnija
je da spasimo živote dece.
02:50
It's importantважно to do.
We loseизгубити so manyмноги on a dailyдневно basisоснове.
47
158200
3600
Važno je da to uradimo.
Toliko njih izgubimo svakoga dana.
02:54
Our secondдруго mandateмандат
48
162600
1600
Naša druga misija
02:57
is to empowerоснажити the right choicesизбори
so kidsклинци don't fallпасти throughкроз the cracksпукотине
49
165280
4296
je da učvrstimo prave odluke
tako da kod dece ne dođe do propusta
03:01
and chooseизаберите livesживи of gangsбанде and crimeзлочин
and drugsдроге and alcoholалкохол and weaponsоружје.
50
169600
4040
i da odaberu život bandi,
kriminala, droga, alkohola i oružja.
03:06
And our thirdтрећи mandateмандат is to teachнаучити
the principlesпринципе of nonviolencenenasilje,
51
174360
5840
A naša treća misija je da podučavamo
principima nenasilja,
03:13
of empathyемпатија, of compassionсаосећање,
52
181160
2176
empatije, saosećanja, oproštaja.
03:15
of forgivenessопроштај.
53
183360
1400
03:17
And I startedпочела with a very simpleједноставно premiseпремисе
54
185760
1936
Počeo sam vrlo jednostavnom premisom
03:19
that violenceнасиље is a learnedнаучио behaviorпонашање.
55
187720
2216
da je nasilje naučeno ponašanje.
03:21
No childдете was bornрођен violentнасилан.
56
189960
1920
Nijedno dete nije rođeno nasilno.
03:24
If you acceptприхватити that as a truismaksiom,
57
192720
2376
Ako prihvatite to kao nešto
što se podrazumeva,
03:27
nonviolencenenasilje can alsoтакође be
a learnedнаучио behaviorпонашање,
58
195120
3136
nenasilje takođe može biti
naučeno ponašanje,
03:30
but you have to teachнаучити it,
59
198280
1336
ali morate podučavati tome,
03:31
because kidsклинци are not going to learnучи that
60
199640
2336
jer deca to neće naučiti
03:34
throughкроз osmosisosmoze.
61
202000
1280
kroz izloženost.
03:36
SoonUskoro after that,
I reachedдостигао out to my brotherбрате here,
62
204200
3600
Ubrzo potom sam se obratio
svom bratu ovde,
03:41
with the attitudeстав
that we had bothи једно и друго lostизгубљено a sonсин.
63
209120
2176
kroz poziciju zajedničkog gubitka sina.
Moj sin je umro.
03:43
My sonсин diedумро.
64
211320
1256
On je izgubio svog unuka
kroz zatvorski sistem za odrasle.
03:44
He lostизгубљено his grandsonunuk
to the adultодрасла особа prisonзатвор systemсистем.
65
212600
2240
Pitao sam ga da mi se pridruži.
03:47
And I askedпитао him to joinпридружити me.
66
215400
1336
03:48
As you see, 22 yearsгодине laterкасније,
we are still here togetherзаједно,
67
216760
4376
Kao što vidite, 22 godine kasnije,
još smo ovde zajedno,
03:53
because I can't bringдовести TariqTarik
back from the deadмртав,
68
221160
2776
jer ja ne mogu da vratim Tarika iz mrtvih,
03:55
you can't take TonyToni out of prisonзатвор,
69
223960
2056
ti ne možeš da izvučeš Tonija iz zatvora,
03:58
but the one thing we can do
70
226040
1976
ali ono što možemo je da se postaramo
04:00
is make sure no other youngмлади people
in our communityзаједница
71
228040
3056
da nijedna druga mlada osoba
iz naše zajednice
04:03
endкрај up deadмртав or endкрај up in prisonзатвор.
72
231120
2560
ne završi mrtva ili u zatvoru.
04:06
With the gracemilosti of God,
73
234360
1576
Uz božju pomoć,
04:07
the TariqTarik KhamisaKhamisa FoundationFondacija
has been successfulуспјешно.
74
235960
2896
Fondacija Tarika Kamise bila je uspešna.
04:10
We have a safeсигурно schoolшкола modelмодел
75
238880
2816
Imamo model bezbedne škole
04:13
whichкоја has fourчетири differentразличит programsпрограме.
76
241720
2056
koji ima četiri različita programa.
04:15
The first one is a liveживи assemblyмонтажа
with PlesStari and me.
77
243800
2936
Prvi je sastanak uživo
sa Plesom i sa mnom.
04:18
We are introducedпредставио,
78
246760
1256
Predstave nas -
04:20
this man'sчовека grandsonunuk killedубијен this man'sчовека sonсин,
79
248040
2056
unuk ovog čoveka ubio je sina ovog čoveka
04:22
and here they are togetherзаједно.
80
250120
1336
i ovde su zajedno.
04:23
We have in-classroomu učionici curriculumкурикулум.
81
251480
2096
Imamo nastavni program u okviru učionice.
04:25
We have an after schoolшкола mentoringmentorstva programпрограм,
and we createстворити a peaceмир clubклуб.
82
253600
3479
Imamo mentorski program posle škole
i pravimo klub mira.
04:29
And I'm happyсрећан to shareОбјави with you
83
257920
1496
Sa zadovoljstvom ću vam reći
04:31
that besidesОсим тога teachingУчити
these principlesпринципе of nonviolencenenasilje,
84
259440
3896
da smo pored podučavanja
ovim principima nenasilja
04:35
we are ableу могуцности to cutрез suspensionsSuspenzija
and expulsionsproterivanja by 70 percentпроценат,
85
263360
4400
uspeli da smanjimo
privremena isključivanja
i izbacivanja iz škole za 70 posto,
04:40
whichкоја is hugeогромно.
86
268920
1216
što je velika stvar.
04:42
(ApplauseAplauz)
87
270160
1136
(Aplauz)
04:43
WhichŠto is hugeогромно.
88
271320
1200
Što je velika stvar.
04:45
FivePet yearsгодине after TariqTarik diedумро,
89
273440
2416
Pet godina nakon što je Tarik umro,
04:47
and for me to completeкомплетан
my journeyпутовање of forgivenessопроштај,
90
275880
2896
da bih završio svoje putovanje oproštaja,
04:50
I wentотишао to see the youngмлади man
who killedубијен my sonсин.
91
278800
2336
otišao sam da vidim mladića
koji je ubio mog sina.
04:53
He was 19 yearsгодине oldстари.
92
281160
1480
Imao je 19 godina.
04:55
And I rememberзапамтити that meetingсастанак
because we were --
93
283960
3096
Sećam se tog susreta jer smo -
04:59
he's 37, still in prisonзатвор --
94
287080
2136
on ima 37 godina, još je u zatvoru -
05:01
but at that first meetingсастанак,
we lockedзакључано eyeballsебебаллс.
95
289240
2816
ali pri tom prvom susretu
gledali smo se netremice.
05:04
I'm looking in his eyesочи,
he's looking in my eyesочи,
96
292080
2816
Gledam ga u oči, gleda on mene u oči,
05:06
and I'm looking in his eyesочи
tryingпокушавајући to find a murdererубица, and I didn't.
97
294920
3656
i gledam u njegove oči pokušavajući
da nađem ubicu, ali nisam.
05:10
I was ableу могуцности to climbпопети се throughкроз his eyesочи
98
298600
2736
Uspeo sam da prodrem kroz njegove oči
05:13
and touchдодирни his humanityчовечанство that I got
99
301360
1976
i doprem do njegove ljudskosti
koju sam spoznao,
05:15
that the sparkiskra in him
was no differentразличит than the sparkiskra in me
100
303360
3616
da se iskra u njemu
ne razlikuje od iskre u meni
05:19
or anybodyбило ко elseдруго here.
101
307000
1520
niti u bilo kome drugom ovde.
05:21
So I wasn'tније expectingочекујући that.
He was remorsefulkaje.
102
309280
2296
To nisam očekivao. Kajao se.
05:23
He was articulateartikuliše. He was well-manneredvaspitan..
103
311600
2096
Bio je rečit. Bio je učtiv.
05:25
And I could tell that my handруку
of forgivenessопроштај had changedпромењено him.
104
313720
3680
Video sam da ga je promenila
moja ruka oproštaja.
05:31
So with that, please welcomeДобродошли
my brotherбрате, PlesStari.
105
319000
2456
Molim vas da poželite
dobrodošlicu mom bratu Plesu.
05:33
(ApplauseAplauz)
106
321480
2920
(Aplauz)
05:38
PlesStari FelixFelix: TonyToni is my one
and only daughter'sћерка one and only childдете.
107
326920
4760
Ples Feliks: Toni je prvo
i jedino dete moje ćerke.
05:44
TonyToni was bornрођен to my daughterћерка,
108
332360
2496
Tonija je rodila moja ćerka
05:46
who was 15 when she gaveдала birthрођење to TonyToni.
109
334880
2200
koja je tada imala 15 godina.
05:50
MotheringMaterinstvo is the toughestнајтеже
jobпосао on the planetПланета.
110
338760
2800
Majčinstvo je najteži posao na svetu.
05:54
There is no tougherтеже jobпосао on the planetПланета
than raisingподизање anotherдруги humanљудско beingбиће
111
342200
4136
Nema težeg posla na svetu
od podizanja drugog ljudskog bića
05:58
and makingстварање sure they're safeсигурно, secureOsigurajte
112
346360
2656
i staranja o tome da je sigurno, bezbedno
06:01
and well-positionedDobro pozicioniranje
to be successfulуспјешно in life.
113
349040
2840
i u dobroj situaciji
da bude uspešno u životu.
06:04
TonyToni experiencedИскусан a lot of violenceнасиље
in his life as a youngмлади kidклинац.
114
352600
3480
Toni je doživeo mnogo nasilja
u svom životu kada je bio mali.
Video je kako su ubili
jednog od njegovih omiljenih rođaka
06:09
He saw one of his favoriteомиљени cousinsрођаци
115
357000
1656
06:10
be murderedубијен in a hailPozdrav
of automaticAutomatsko weaponоружје fireватра
116
358680
2496
paljbom iz automatskog oružja
06:13
and gangбанда involvementучешће in LosLos AngelesAngelesu.
117
361200
2336
u kojoj je bila umešana
banda u Los Anđelesu.
06:15
He was very traumatizedtraumatizovan
in so manyмноги differentразличит waysначини.
118
363560
2480
Bio je veoma traumiran
na toliko različitih načina.
Toni je došao da živi sa mnom.
06:19
TonyToni cameДошао to liveживи with me.
119
367360
1256
06:20
I wanted to make sure
he had everything a kidклинац neededпотребно
120
368640
3176
Hteo sam da se postaram
da ima sve što je detetu potrebno
06:23
to be successfulуспјешно.
121
371840
1600
da bi bilo uspešno.
06:27
But on this particularпосебно eveningвече,
122
375120
1976
Ali, te konkretne večeri,
nakon godina koje je proveo sa mnom
i silne borbe da bude uspešan
06:29
after yearsгодине of beingбиће with me
123
377120
1376
06:30
and strugglingБорити се mightilypuno
to try to be successfulуспјешно
124
378520
2576
06:33
and to liveживи up to my expectationsočekivanja
of beingбиће a successfulуспјешно personособа,
125
381120
3520
i da ispuni moja očekivanja
da bude uspešna osoba,
06:37
on this one particularпосебно day,
TonyToni ranтрчао away from home that eveningвече,
126
385560
3216
tog konkretnog dana,
Toni je uveče pobegao od kuće.
Otišao je da bude sa ljudima
za koje je mislio da su mu drugovi,
06:40
he wentотишао to be with people
he thought were his friendsпријатељи,
127
388800
2776
06:43
he was givenдато drugsдроге and alcoholалкохол
128
391600
1456
dali su mu drogu i alkohol
06:45
and he tookузела them
129
393080
1256
i on je prihvatio
06:46
because he thought
they would make him feel carefreebezbrižan.
130
394360
3256
jer je mislio da će od njih
biti bezbrižan.
06:49
But all it did was
to make his anxietyanksioznost go higherвише
131
397640
3496
Ali od toga se samo povećala
njegova anksioznost
06:53
and to createстворити a more ...
132
401160
1760
i kod njega je nastalo još...
06:57
more deadlyсмртоносно thinkingразмишљање on his partдео.
133
405320
3120
još kobnije razmišljanje.
07:01
He was invitedпозвани to a robberypljačka,
134
409280
1416
Pozvali su ga u pljačku,
07:02
he was givenдато a 9mmmm handgunpištolj.
135
410720
1960
dali mu pištolj od 9 mm.
07:05
And at the presenceприсуство
of an 18-year-old-година стар who commandedkomandovao him
136
413720
2616
I u prisustvu mladića od 18 godina
koji mu je naređivao
07:08
and two 14-year-old-година стар boysдечаци
he thought were his friendsпријатељи,
137
416360
3136
i dvojice dečaka od 14 godina
za koje je mislio da su mu drugovi,
07:11
he shotпуцањ and killedубијен TariqTarik KhamisaKhamisa,
138
419520
3216
pucao je u Tarika Kamisu i ubio ga,
07:14
this man'sчовека sonсин.
139
422760
1800
sina ovog čoveka.
07:19
There are no wordsречи, there are no wordsречи
140
427840
2416
Nema reči, ne postoje reči
07:22
that can expressизразити the lossгубитак of a childдете.
141
430280
4040
koje mogu da opišu gubitak deteta.
07:27
At my understandingразумевање
that my grandsonunuk was responsibleодговоран
142
435240
2456
Kada sam shvatio da je moj unuk odgovoran
07:29
for the murderубиство of this humanљудско beingбиће,
143
437720
1696
za ubistvo ovog ljudskog bića,
07:31
I wentотишао to the prayerмолитве closetormar,
like I was taughtнаучио by my oldстари folksљуди,
144
439440
3216
otišao sam u odaju za molitve,
kao što su me učili moji stari,
07:34
and beganпочела to prayмолите се and meditatemeditirati.
145
442680
2136
i počeo da se molim i meditiram.
07:36
The one thing that MrG.. KhamisaKhamisa
and I have in commonзаједнички,
146
444840
2456
Ono što gospodin Kamisa
i ja imamo zajedničko,
07:39
and we didn't know this,
besidesОсим тога beingбиће wonderfulДивно humanљудско beingsбића,
147
447320
2936
a to nismo znali,
osim što smo sjajna ljudska bića,
je to da obojica meditiramo.
07:42
is that we bothи једно и друго meditatemeditirati.
148
450280
1220
07:43
(LaughterSmeh)
149
451530
1150
(Smeh)
07:44
It was very helpfulкористан for me
150
452920
1456
To mi je bilo jako korisno
07:46
because it offeredпонуђени me an opportunityприлика
to seekтражити guidanceVodič and clarityјасноћа
151
454400
3496
jer mi je dalo mogućnost
da nađem smernice i jasnost
07:49
about how I wanted to be of supportподршка
of this man and his familyпородица in this lossгубитак.
152
457920
5776
u pogledu toga kako hoću da budem podrška
u gubitku ovom čoveku u njegovoj porodici.
07:55
And sure enoughдовољно, my prayersмолитве were answeredодговорио,
153
463720
2056
I zasigurno, moje molitve su uslišene,
07:57
because I was invitedпозвани
to a meetingсастанак at this man'sчовека houseкућа,
154
465800
2936
jer sam pozvan na okupljanje
u kući ovog čoveka,
08:00
metиспуњен his motherмајка, his fatherотац,
155
468760
2816
upoznao njegovu majku, oca,
08:03
his wifeжена, his brotherбрате, metиспуњен theirњихова familyпородица
156
471600
3056
ženu, brata, upoznao njihovu porodicu
08:06
and had a chanceшанса to be in the presenceприсуство
of God-spiritedBog je izveo people led by this man,
157
474680
5216
i imao priliku da budem u prisustvu ljudi
božjeg duha koje predvodi ovaj čovek,
08:11
who in the spiritдух of forgivenessопроштај,
158
479920
2176
a koji mi je u duhu oproštaja
08:14
madeмаде way, madeмаде an opportunityприлика for me
159
482120
2520
otvorio put, pružio mogućnost
08:17
to be of valueвредност and to shareОбјави with him
and to shareОбјави with childrenдеца
160
485680
2976
da budem od koristi,
da podelim sa njime i sa decom
08:20
the importanceзначај of understandingразумевање the need
to be with a responsibleодговоран adultодрасла особа,
161
488680
5216
značaj shvatanja potrebe
da budu uz odgovornu odraslu osobu,
08:25
focusфокусирати on your angerбес
in a way that's healthyздрав,
162
493920
2376
da se fokusiraju na svoj bes
na zdrav način,
08:28
learnучи to meditatemeditirati.
163
496320
1456
da nauče da meditiraju.
08:29
The programsпрограме that we have
in the TariqTarik KhamisaKhamisa FoundationFondacija
164
497800
3016
Programi koje imamo
u Fondaciji Tarika Kamise
08:32
provideпружити so manyмноги toolsалати
for the kidsклинци to put in theirњихова toolkitza utvrđivanje
165
500840
3056
pružaju toliko sredstava
koja deca mogu imati na raspolaganju
08:35
so they could carryносити them
throughoutтоком theirњихова livesживи.
166
503920
2256
tako da ih nose sa sobom
tokom celog života.
08:38
It's importantважно that our childrenдеца
understandРазумем that lovingљубави, caringбрижан adultsодрасли
167
506200
3296
Važno je da naša deca razumeju
da je brižnim odraslima punim ljubavi
08:41
careнега for them and supportподршка them,
168
509520
1536
stalo do njih i da ih podržavaju,
08:43
but it's alsoтакође importantважно
that our childrenдеца learnучи to meditatemeditirati,
169
511080
4216
ali je takođe važno da naša deca
nauče da meditiraju,
08:47
learnучи to be peacefulмирно,
170
515320
1656
da nauče da budu staložena,
08:49
learnучи to be centeredCentrirano
171
517000
1456
da budu uravnotežena
08:50
and learnучи to interactИнтерактивно
with the other childrenдеца
172
518480
2295
i da komuniciraju sa drugom decom
08:52
in a kindкинд, empatheticsaoseжajna
173
520799
1976
na ljubazan, empatičan način
08:54
and wonderfullyпрекрасно lovingљубави way.
174
522799
2137
i sa puno ljubavi.
08:56
We need more love in our societyдруштво
175
524960
1656
Potrebno nam je više ljubavi u društvu
08:58
and that's why we are here
to shareОбјави the love with childrenдеца,
176
526640
3216
i zato smo ovde
da podelimo ljubav sa decom,
09:01
because our childrenдеца
will leadолово the way for us,
177
529880
2616
jer naša deca će nas voditi,
09:04
because all of us
will dependзависи on our childrenдеца.
178
532520
2576
jer svi zavisimo od naše dece.
09:07
As we growрасту olderстарији and retireпензионисати,
they will take over this worldсвет for us,
179
535120
3576
Kada mi ostarimo i penzionišemo se,
oni će preuzeti svet umesto nas,
09:10
so as much love as we teachнаучити them,
they will give it back to us.
180
538720
3736
tako da će nam vratiti onoliko ljubavi
koliko ih mi naučimo.
09:14
BlessingsBlagoslov. Thank you.
181
542480
1376
Šaljem vam blagoslov. Hvala.
09:15
(ApplauseAplauz)
182
543880
4000
(Aplauz)
09:22
AKAK: So I was bornрођен in KenyaKenija,
I was educatedобразован in EnglandEngleska,
183
550400
3696
AK: Rođen sam u Keniji,
školovao sam se u Engleskoj,
09:26
and my brotherбрате here is a BaptistKrstitelj.
184
554120
2736
a moj brat ovde je baptista.
09:28
I practiceпракса as a SufiSufi MuslimMuslimanska.
185
556880
1960
Ponašam se kao musliman sufija.
09:31
He's AfricanAfrički AmericanAmerikanac,
186
559480
1256
On je Afroamerikanac,
09:32
but I always tell him,
I'm the AfricanAfrički AmericanAmerikanac in the groupгрупа.
187
560760
2896
ali uvek mu kažem da sam ja
Afroamerikanac u ekipi.
Rođen sam u Africi. Ti nisi.
09:35
I was bornрођен in AfricaAfrika. You were not.
188
563680
1696
09:37
(LaughterSmeh)
189
565400
2296
(Smeh)
09:39
And I naturalizeddrzavljanstvo as a citizenграђанин.
190
567720
2176
I prihvatio sam državljanstvo.
09:41
I'm a first-generationПрва генерација citizenграђанин.
191
569920
1976
Iz prve sam generacije državljana.
09:43
And I feltосетио that, as an AmericanAmerikanac citizenграђанин,
192
571920
3776
I smatrao sam da,
kao američki državljanin,
09:47
I mustмора take my shareОбјави of the responsibilityодговорност
193
575720
3136
moram preuzeti svoj deo odgovornosti
09:50
for the murderубиство of my sonсин.
194
578880
2440
za ubistvo svog sina.
09:53
Why? Because it was firedотпуштен
by an AmericanAmerikanac childдете.
195
581840
3696
Zašto? Zato što je pucalo američko dete.
Možete zauzeti poziciju da ga,
pošto je ubio mog sina jedinca,
09:57
You could take the positionпозиција,
he killedубијен my one and only sonсин,
196
585560
2896
10:00
he should be hungвиси from the highestнајвише poleпол.
197
588480
2240
treba obesiti sa najvišeg stuba.
10:03
How does that improveпобољшати societyдруштво?
198
591520
2936
Kako to poboljšava društvo?
10:06
And I know you are probablyвероватно wonderingпитајући се
what happenedдесило to that youngмлади man.
199
594480
3400
Znam da se verovatno pitate
šta se desilo sa tim mladićem.
10:10
He's still in prisonзатвор.
He just turnedокренуо се 37 on SeptemberSeptembra 22,
200
598560
4936
Još uvek je u zatvoru.
Upravo je napunio 37 godina
22. septembra, ali imam dobre vesti.
10:15
but I have some good newsвести.
201
603520
1896
10:17
We'veMoramo been tryingпокушавајући
to get him out for 12 yearsгодине.
202
605440
2776
Dvanaest godina pokušavamo
da ga izvučemo napolje.
10:20
He finallyконачно will joinпридружити us a yearгодине from now.
203
608240
3216
Konačno će nam se pridružiti
za godinu dana.
10:23
(ApplauseAplauz)
204
611480
3640
(Aplauz)
10:30
And I'm very excitedузбуђени to have him joinпридружити us,
205
618240
2736
Vrlo sam uzbuđen što će nam se pridružiti,
10:33
because I know we'veми смо savedСачувана him,
206
621000
2096
jer znam da smo ga spasili,
10:35
but he will saveсачувати
tensдесетке of thousandsхиљаде of studentsстуденти
207
623120
3456
ali spasićemo desetine hiljada učenika
10:38
when he sharesакције his testimonyсведочење
208
626600
2496
kada on iznese svoj iskaz
10:41
in schoolsшколе that we are presentпоклон at
on a regularредовно basisоснове.
209
629120
3376
u školama u kojima smo stalno prisutni.
10:44
When he saysкаже to the kidsклинци,
"When I was 11, I joinedПридружио a gangбанда.
210
632520
3336
Kada kaže deci: „Kada sam imao 11 godina,
priključio sam se bandi.
10:47
When I was 14,
I murderedубијен MrG.. Khamisa'sKhamisa je sonсин.
211
635880
2896
Sa 14 godina, ubio sam sina
gospodina Kamise.
10:50
I've spentпотрошено the last
umpteentoliko yearsгодине in prisonзатвор.
212
638800
2576
Proveo sam poslednjih
mnogo godina u zatvoru.
10:53
I'm here to tell you: it's not worthвреди it,"
213
641400
3056
Ovde sam da vam kažem
da nije vredno toga“,
10:56
do you think the kidsклинци
will listen to that voiceглас?
214
644480
2616
mislite li da će deca poslušati taj glas?
10:59
Yes, because his intonationsintonacija
215
647120
2536
Da, jer će intonacije tog glasa
11:01
will be of a personособа
that pulledвуче the triggerтриггер.
216
649680
3296
proisteći iz osobe koja je povukla okidač.
11:05
And I know that he wants
to turnред the clockсат back.
217
653000
4560
A znam da on želi da vrati vreme unazad.
11:10
Of courseкурс, that's not possibleмогуће.
218
658480
1656
Naravno, to nije moguće.
11:12
I wishжелети it was. I would have my sonсин back.
219
660160
2576
Voleo bih da jeste. Ponovo bih imao sina.
11:14
My brotherбрате would have his grandsonunuk back.
220
662760
2280
Mom bratu bi se vratio unuk.
11:17
So I think that demonstratespokazuje
the powerмоћ of forgivenessопроштај.
221
665920
3960
Mislim da to demonstrira moć oproštaja.
11:23
So what's the bigвелики takeawayzagonetka here?
222
671640
2080
Šta je glavna poenta u ovome?
11:27
So I want to endкрај
our sessionседница with this quoteкуоте,
223
675400
2736
Hteo bih da završim
našu sesiju ovim citatom
11:30
whichкоја is the basisоснове of my fourthчетврто bookкњига,
224
678160
2696
koji je osnova za moju četvrtu knjigu,
11:32
whichкоја incidentallyслучајно,
225
680880
1856
a za koju je, uzgred,
11:34
the forewordnavlakom for that bookкњига
was writtenнаписано by TonyToni.
226
682760
2440
predgovor napisao Toni.
11:38
So it goesиде like this:
sustainedнепрекидан goodwillдобра воља createsствара friendshipprijateljstvo.
227
686800
3936
Ide ovako: kontinuirana dobra volja
stvara prijateljstvo.
Ne stičete prijatelje
tako što ih bombardujete, zar ne?
11:42
You don't make friendsпријатељи
by bombingбомбардовање them, right?
228
690760
2216
11:45
You make friendsпријатељи by extendingпродужава се goodwillдобра воља.
229
693000
1896
Stičete prijatelje
tako što ukazujete dobru volju.
11:46
That oughtтребало би to be obviousочигледан.
230
694920
1416
To mora da je jasno.
11:48
So sustainedнепрекидан goodwillдобра воља createsствара friendshipprijateljstvo,
231
696360
2456
Tako, kontinuirana dobra volja
stvara prijateljstvo,
11:50
sustainedнепрекидан friendshipprijateljstvo createsствара trustповерење,
232
698840
2416
kontinuirano prijateljstvo
stvara poverenje,
11:53
sustainedнепрекидан trustповерење createsствара empathyемпатија,
233
701280
2416
kontinuirano poverenje stvara empatiju,
11:55
sustainedнепрекидан empathyемпатија createsствара compassionсаосећање,
234
703720
2376
kontinuirana empatija stvara saosećanje,
11:58
and sustainedнепрекидан compassionсаосећање createsствара peaceмир.
235
706120
2520
a kontinuirano saosećanje stvara mir.
12:01
I call this my peaceмир formulaформула.
236
709200
1776
Ovo nazivam svojom formulom za mir.
12:03
It startsпочиње with goodwillдобра воља, friendshipprijateljstvo,
trustповерење, empathyемпатија, compassionсаосећање and peaceмир.
237
711000
5976
Počinje uz dobru volju, prijateljstvo,
poverenje, empatiju, saosećanje i mir.
12:09
But people askпитати me,
how do you extendпроширити goodwillдобра воља
238
717000
2736
Ali ljudi me pitaju
kako ukazati dobru volju
12:11
to the personособа who murderedубијен your childдете?
239
719760
2600
osobi koja vam je ubila dete.
12:14
I tell them, you do that
throughкроз forgivenessопроштај.
240
722800
2536
Kažem im da se to radi kroz opraštanje.
12:17
As it's evidentочигледан it workedрадио је for me.
241
725360
2136
Kao što je očigledno, uspelo je kod mene.
12:19
It workedрадио је for my familyпородица.
242
727520
1896
Uspelo je u mojoj porodici.
12:21
What's a miracleчудо is it workedрадио је for TonyToni,
243
729440
2656
Čudesno je to što je delovalo
i kod Tonija, kod njegove porodice,
12:24
it workedрадио је for his familyпородица,
244
732120
2136
12:26
it can work for you and your familyпородица,
245
734280
3216
a može da deluje i kod vas,
u vašoj porodici,
12:29
for IsraelIzrael and PalestinePalestinu,
NorthSever and SouthJug KoreaKoreja,
246
737520
2976
u slučaju Izraela i Palestine,
Severne i Južne Koreje,
12:32
for IraqIrak, AfghanistanAvganistan, IranIran and SyriaSirija.
247
740520
2856
Iraka, Avganistana, Irana i Sirije.
12:35
It can work for
the UnitedUjedinjeni StatesDržava of AmericaAmerika.
248
743400
2600
Može delovati i u SAD-u.
12:38
So let me leaveодлази you with this, my sistersсестре,
249
746680
3256
Zaključiću ovim, moje sestre
12:41
and a coupleпар of brothersбраћа --
250
749960
1336
i nekolicino braće -
12:43
(LaughterSmeh)
251
751320
1976
(Smeh)
12:45
that peaceмир is possibleмогуће.
252
753320
1760
da je mir moguć.
12:48
How do I know that?
253
756040
1696
Kako to znam?
12:49
Because I am at peaceмир.
254
757760
1856
Jer sam ja u miru.
12:51
Thank you very much. NamasteNamaste.
255
759640
1976
Mnogo vam hvala. Namaste.
12:53
(ApplauseAplauz)
256
761640
3080
(Aplauz)
Translated by Ivana Krivokuća
Reviewed by Tijana Mihajlović

▲Back to top

ABOUT THE SPEAKERS
Azim Khamisa - Author, peace activist
Azim Khamisa speaks to students and adults on nonviolence, forgiveness and peace-building, and he is a founder of two nonprofit organizations that target youth violence.

Why you should listen

Azim Khamisa writes: "I emigrated to the USA in 1974 to escape violence in Kenya, where we were a targeted minority. But 22 years ago, my only son, Tariq, who was a university student and worked a part-time job as a pizza delivery man, was killed by a 14-year-old gang member in a gang initiation ritual. Tariq was only 20 years old when he died, and needless to say it brought my life to a crashing halt. He was a good and a generous kid!

"However, even clouded in a deeply painful tragedy I saw that there were victims on both sides of the gun. Nine months after Tariq died, I founded the Tariq Khamisa Foundation (TKF). Our mission is to save lives of children, empower the right choices and teach the principles of nonviolence — of empathy, compassion, forgiveness and peacemaking. I forgave my son's killer and invited his grandfather to join me in TKF's work. With the grace of God, TKF is 22 years old and has a safe school model and is successfully keeping kids away from gangs, weapons, drugs, crime and violence. The grandfather and I are still together doing this work, and the kid who killed my son is now 36 years old and he will join us when he is paroled in October 2018. I have authored four books and speak worldwide to students and adults. I am a passionate peace activist and a teacher of nonviolence, forgiveness and spawning peacemakers."

More profile about the speaker
Azim Khamisa | Speaker | TED.com
Ples Felix - Peace activist
Ples Felix is a leader in the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, dedicated to helping stop youth violence.

Why you should listen

Ples Felix was a retired Green Beret, working in community development and raising his grandson Tony, trying hard to keep him safe and away from bad influences. But on one horrible night, Tony, in the company of older gang members, shot and killed a pizza delivery driver. It was a moment that changed many lives.

The delivery driver was Tariq Khamisa, a 20-year-old student in San Diego. His grieving father, Azim Khamisa, seeking to find meaning in unfathomable loss, started the Tariq Khamisa Foundation to address youth violence through education, mentorship and community service. And he invited Felix to join him -- because "there was a victim on both ends of that gun." Since 1995, Felix has co-led the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, developing mentorship programs that keep at-risk kids in school and on the right track.

More profile about the speaker
Ples Felix | Speaker | TED.com