TED2018
Emily Levine: How I made friends with reality
Filmed:
Readability: 4
2,276,380 views
With her signature wit and wisdom, Emily Levine meets her ultimate challenge as a comedian/philosopher: she makes dying funny. In this personal talk, she takes us on her journey to make friends with reality -- and peace with death. Life is an enormous gift, Levine says: "You enrich it as best you can, and then you give it back."
Emily Levine - Philosopher-comic
Humorist, writer and trickster Emily Levine riffs on science and the human condition. Full bio
Humorist, writer and trickster Emily Levine riffs on science and the human condition. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I'm going to first tell you something that
in my grandmother
in my grandmother
0
758
3742
00:16
would've elicited a five-oy alarm:
1
4524
2737
00:19
"Oy-oy-oy-oy-oy."
2
7286
1262
00:20
(Laughter)
3
8572
1150
00:21
And here it is ...
are you ready?
are you ready?
4
9746
3285
00:25
OK.
5
13522
1150
00:27
I have stage IV lung cancer.
6
15730
3736
00:32
Oh, I know, "poor me."
7
20269
1302
00:33
I don't feel that way.
8
21595
1242
00:34
I'm so OK with it.
9
22861
2051
00:37
And granted, I have certain advantages --
10
25380
2139
00:39
not everybody can take
so cavalier an attitude.
so cavalier an attitude.
11
27543
2657
00:42
I don't have young children.
12
30224
1524
00:44
I have a grown daughter who's
brilliant and happy and wonderful.
brilliant and happy and wonderful.
13
32355
3688
00:48
I don't have huge financial stress.
14
36674
3022
00:52
My cancer isn't that aggressive.
15
40711
2010
00:54
It's kind of like
the Democratic leadership --
the Democratic leadership --
16
42745
2220
00:56
(Laughter)
17
44989
3683
01:00
not convinced it can win.
18
48696
1866
01:02
It's basically just sitting there,
19
50586
1650
01:04
waiting for Goldman Sachs
to give it some money.
to give it some money.
20
52260
2336
01:06
(Laughter)
21
54620
1015
01:07
(Applause)
22
55659
4889
01:12
Oh, and the best thing of all --
23
60572
2833
01:15
I have a major accomplishment
under my belt.
under my belt.
24
63429
3468
01:18
Yes.
25
66921
1151
01:20
I didn't even know it until someone
tweeted me a year ago.
tweeted me a year ago.
26
68096
3904
01:24
And here's what they said:
27
72024
2222
01:26
"You are responsible
28
74270
2221
01:28
for the pussification
of the American male."
of the American male."
29
76515
3059
01:32
(Laughter)
30
80039
1830
01:33
(Applause)
31
81893
3851
01:37
Not that I can take
all the credit, but ...
all the credit, but ...
32
85768
2802
01:40
(Laughter)
33
88594
4238
01:44
But what if you don't have my advantages?
34
92856
3929
01:48
The only advice I can give you
is to do what I did:
is to do what I did:
35
96809
3674
01:52
make friends with reality.
36
100507
2696
01:55
You couldn't have a worse relationship
with reality than I did.
with reality than I did.
37
103634
3772
02:00
From the get-go,
38
108003
2488
02:02
I wasn't even attracted to reality.
39
110515
2322
02:05
If they'd had Tinder when I met reality,
40
113376
2707
02:08
I would have swiped left
41
116107
1190
02:09
and the whole thing would have been over.
42
117321
1993
02:11
(Laughter)
43
119338
1666
02:13
And reality and I --
44
121028
1989
02:15
we don't share the same values,
the same goals --
the same goals --
45
123041
3395
02:18
(Laughter)
46
126460
1007
02:19
To be honest, I don't have goals;
47
127491
2699
02:22
I have fantasies.
48
130214
1601
02:24
They're exactly like goals
but without the hard work.
but without the hard work.
49
132388
3690
02:28
(Laughter)
50
136102
1950
02:30
(Applause)
51
138076
1429
02:31
I'm not a big fan of hard work,
52
139529
3246
02:34
but you know reality --
53
142799
1898
02:36
it's either push, push, push, push, push
54
144721
2969
02:39
through its agent,
the executive brain function --
the executive brain function --
55
147714
4313
02:44
one of the "yays" of dying:
56
152051
1545
02:45
my executive brain function
won't have me to kick around anymore.
won't have me to kick around anymore.
57
153620
3623
02:49
(Laughter)
58
157267
4046
02:53
But something happened
59
161337
3305
02:56
that made me realize
60
164666
4205
03:00
that reality may not be reality.
61
168895
4334
03:05
So what happened was,
62
173566
1522
03:07
because I basically wanted reality
to leave me alone --
to leave me alone --
63
175112
4460
03:11
but I wanted to be left alone
in a nice house
in a nice house
64
179596
2993
03:14
with a Wolf range
and Sub-Zero refrigerator ...
and Sub-Zero refrigerator ...
65
182613
3766
03:18
private yoga lessons --
66
186403
2351
03:20
I ended up with
a development deal at Disney.
a development deal at Disney.
67
188778
3725
03:24
And one day I found myself
in my new office
in my new office
68
192527
3459
03:28
on Two Dopey Drive --
69
196010
2315
03:30
(Laughter)
70
198349
2990
03:33
which reality thought
I should be proud of ...
I should be proud of ...
71
201363
3080
03:36
(Laughter)
72
204467
1150
03:37
And I'm staring at the present
they sent me to celebrate my arrival --
they sent me to celebrate my arrival --
73
205641
4406
03:42
not the Lalique vase or the grand piano
I've heard of other people getting,
I've heard of other people getting,
74
210071
5094
03:47
but a three-foot-tall,
stuffed Mickey Mouse
stuffed Mickey Mouse
75
215189
3357
03:50
(Laughter)
76
218570
1015
03:51
with a catalog, in case I wanted
to order some more stuff
to order some more stuff
77
219609
2858
03:54
that didn't jive with my aesthetic.
78
222491
2004
03:56
(Laughter)
79
224519
1037
03:57
And when I looked up in the catalog
80
225580
1746
03:59
to see how much
this three-foot-high mouse cost,
this three-foot-high mouse cost,
81
227350
4358
04:03
here's how it was described ...
82
231732
2824
04:07
"Life-sized."
83
235603
2328
04:09
(Laughter)
84
237955
4838
04:14
And that's when I knew.
85
242817
1659
04:16
Reality wasn't "reality."
86
244878
2395
04:19
Reality was an imposter.
87
247297
1958
04:21
So I dived into quantum physics
and chaos theory
and chaos theory
88
249937
4501
04:26
to try to find actual reality,
89
254462
2146
04:28
and I've just finished a movie --
90
256632
1645
04:30
yes, finally finished --
91
258301
2200
04:32
about all that,
92
260525
1178
04:33
so I won't go into it here,
93
261727
1305
04:35
and anyway, it wasn't until
after we shot the movie,
after we shot the movie,
94
263056
2466
04:37
when I broke my leg
and then it didn't heal,
and then it didn't heal,
95
265546
2062
04:39
so then they had to do
another surgery a year later,
another surgery a year later,
96
267632
2441
04:42
and then that took a year --
97
270097
1371
04:43
two years in a wheelchair,
98
271492
1257
04:44
and that's when I came
into contact with actual reality:
into contact with actual reality:
99
272773
5950
04:50
limits.
100
278747
1365
04:52
Those very limits I'd spent
my whole life denying
my whole life denying
101
280598
3030
04:55
and pushing past and ignoring
102
283652
2313
04:59
were real,
103
287466
1567
05:01
and I had to deal with them,
104
289057
2337
05:03
and they took imagination,
creativity and my entire skill set.
creativity and my entire skill set.
105
291418
5691
05:09
It turned out I was great
at actual reality.
at actual reality.
106
297461
4381
05:14
I didn't just come to terms with it,
107
302289
1715
05:16
I fell in love.
108
304028
1594
05:17
And I should've known,
109
305646
1461
05:19
given my equally shaky
relationship with the zeitgeist ...
relationship with the zeitgeist ...
110
307131
3982
05:24
I'll just say, if anyone
is in the market for a Betamax --
is in the market for a Betamax --
111
312167
4196
05:28
(Laughter)
112
316387
1994
05:30
I should have known that the moment
I fell in love with reality,
I fell in love with reality,
113
318784
3848
05:34
the rest of the country would decide
to go in the opposite direction.
to go in the opposite direction.
114
322656
3283
05:37
(Laughter)
115
325963
2309
05:40
But I'm not here to talk about Trump
or the alt-right or climate-change deniers
or the alt-right or climate-change deniers
116
328296
4545
05:44
or even the makers of this thing,
117
332865
2390
05:47
which I would have called a box,
118
335279
1866
05:49
except that right here, it says,
119
337169
2885
05:52
"This is not a box."
120
340078
2687
05:54
(Laughter)
121
342789
4516
05:59
They're gaslighting me.
122
347329
2138
06:01
(Laughter)
123
349491
1662
06:03
(Applause)
124
351177
2636
06:06
But what I do want to talk about
125
354701
4731
06:11
is a personal challenge to reality
126
359456
5118
06:16
that I take personally,
127
364598
2647
06:19
and I want to preface it
by saying that I absolutely love science.
by saying that I absolutely love science.
128
367269
6677
06:26
I have this --
129
374316
1381
06:27
not a scientist myself --
130
375721
1964
06:29
but an uncanny ability to understand
everything about science,
everything about science,
131
377709
4818
06:34
except the actual science --
132
382551
1883
06:36
(Laughter)
133
384458
1001
06:37
which is math.
134
385483
1198
06:38
But the most outlandish concepts
make sense to me.
make sense to me.
135
386705
4275
06:44
The string theory;
136
392968
1389
06:46
the idea that all of reality emanates
from the vibrations of these teeny --
from the vibrations of these teeny --
137
394381
4168
06:50
I call it "The Big Twang."
138
398573
1912
06:52
(Laughter)
139
400509
1259
06:54
Wave-particle duality:
140
402405
1997
06:56
the idea that one thing
can manifest as two things ...
can manifest as two things ...
141
404426
3641
07:00
you know?
142
408091
1151
07:01
That a photon can manifest
as a wave and a particle
as a wave and a particle
143
409266
3822
07:05
coincided with my deepest intuitions
144
413112
2361
07:07
that people are good and bad,
145
415497
1683
07:09
ideas are right and wrong.
146
417204
2090
07:11
Freud was right about penis envy
147
419318
2280
07:13
and he was wrong about who has it.
148
421622
2580
07:16
(Laughter)
149
424226
3589
07:19
(Applause)
150
427839
2524
07:22
Thank you.
151
430387
1243
07:23
(Applause)
152
431654
1007
07:24
And then there's this slight
variation on that,
variation on that,
153
432685
3391
07:28
which is reality looks like two things,
154
436100
2683
07:30
but it turns out to be the interaction
of those two things,
of those two things,
155
438807
4158
07:34
like space -- time,
156
442989
2148
07:37
mass -- energy
157
445161
1641
07:38
and life and death.
158
446826
3250
07:42
So I don't I understand --
159
450444
1529
07:43
I simply just don't understand
160
451997
3070
07:47
the mindset of people who are out
to "defeat death" and "overcome death."
to "defeat death" and "overcome death."
161
455091
4365
07:51
How do you do that?
162
459480
1592
07:53
How do you defeat death
without killing off life?
without killing off life?
163
461096
2836
07:56
It doesn't make sense to me.
164
464539
2215
07:58
I also have to say,
165
466778
1932
08:00
I find it incredibly ungrateful.
166
468734
3768
08:04
I mean, you're given
this extraordinary gift --
this extraordinary gift --
167
472526
2765
08:07
life --
168
475315
1386
08:08
but it's as if you had asked Santa
for a Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow
for a Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow
169
476725
4658
08:13
and you had gotten
a salad spinner instead.
a salad spinner instead.
170
481407
2712
08:16
You know, it's the beef --
171
484672
2348
08:19
the beef with it is that it comes
with an expiration date.
with an expiration date.
172
487044
3821
08:22
Death is the deal breaker.
173
490889
1794
08:25
I don't get that.
174
493954
1151
08:27
I don't understand --
175
495129
1151
08:28
to me, it's disrespectful.
176
496304
1644
08:29
It's disrespectful to nature.
177
497972
1883
08:32
The idea that we're going
to dominate nature,
to dominate nature,
178
500404
2473
08:34
we're going to master nature,
179
502901
2182
08:37
nature is too weak
to withstand our intellect --
to withstand our intellect --
180
505107
3880
08:41
no, I don't think so.
181
509884
2796
08:45
I think if you've actually read
quantum physics as I have --
quantum physics as I have --
182
513055
3420
08:48
well, I read an email
from someone who'd read it, but --
from someone who'd read it, but --
183
516499
2872
08:51
(Laughter)
184
519395
3873
08:55
You have to understand
185
523292
1247
08:56
that we don't live in Newton's
clockwork universe anymore.
clockwork universe anymore.
186
524563
3833
09:00
We live in a banana peel universe,
187
528420
3205
09:03
and we won't ever be able
to know everything
to know everything
188
531649
3680
09:07
or control everything
189
535353
1646
09:09
or predict everything.
190
537023
1483
09:10
Nature is like a self-driving car.
191
538530
2207
09:12
The best we can be is like
the old woman in that joke --
the old woman in that joke --
192
540761
3333
09:16
I don't know if you've heard it.
193
544118
1822
09:18
An old woman is driving
194
546252
2323
09:20
with her middle-aged daughter
in the passenger seat,
in the passenger seat,
195
548599
4229
09:24
and the mother goes
right through a red light.
right through a red light.
196
552852
2399
09:27
And the daughter doesn't want to say
anything that makes it sound like,
anything that makes it sound like,
197
555275
4176
09:31
"You're too old to drive,"
198
559475
1694
09:33
so she didn't say anything.
199
561193
1811
09:35
And then the mother
goes through a second red light,
goes through a second red light,
200
563028
2724
09:37
and the daughter,
as tactfully as possible,
as tactfully as possible,
201
565776
2374
09:40
says, "Mom, are you aware
202
568174
2155
09:42
that you just went through
two red lights?"
two red lights?"
203
570353
2238
09:44
And the mother says, "Oh, am I driving?"
204
572615
1995
09:46
(Laughter)
205
574634
4181
09:50
(Applause)
206
578839
4364
09:55
So ...
207
583227
1357
09:58
and now, I'm going to take a mental leap,
208
586004
4152
10:02
which is easy for me because
I'm the Evel Knievel of mental leaps;
I'm the Evel Knievel of mental leaps;
209
590180
3889
10:06
my license plate says,
210
594093
1795
10:07
"Cogito, ergo zoom."
211
595912
2640
10:11
I hope you're willing
to come with me on this,
to come with me on this,
212
599072
3367
10:14
but my real problem with the mindset
that is so out to defeat death
that is so out to defeat death
213
602463
5620
10:20
is if you're anti-death,
214
608107
3760
10:23
which to me translates as anti-life,
215
611891
2397
10:26
which to me translates as anti-nature,
216
614312
3861
10:30
it also translates to me as anti-woman,
217
618197
3131
10:33
because women have long been
identified with nature.
identified with nature.
218
621352
4306
10:37
And my source on this is Hannah Arendt,
219
625682
2242
10:39
the German philosopher who wrote
a book called "The Human Condition."
a book called "The Human Condition."
220
627948
3627
10:44
And in it, she says that classically,
221
632170
3439
10:47
work is associated with men.
222
635633
2666
10:50
Work is what comes out of the head;
223
638323
2210
10:52
it's what we invent,
224
640557
1276
10:53
it's what we create,
225
641857
1531
10:55
it's how we leave our mark upon the world.
226
643412
2640
10:59
Whereas labor is associated with the body.
227
647434
4442
11:03
It's associated with the people
who perform labor
who perform labor
228
651900
2791
11:06
or undergo labor.
229
654715
1628
11:08
So to me,
230
656915
2723
11:11
the mindset that denies that,
231
659662
4128
11:15
that denies that we're in sync
with the biorhythms,
with the biorhythms,
232
663814
4313
11:20
the cyclical rhythms of the universe,
233
668151
3087
11:23
does not create a hospitable
environment for women
environment for women
234
671262
5654
11:28
or for people associated with labor,
235
676940
2434
11:31
which is to say,
236
679398
1514
11:32
people that we associate
as descendants of slaves,
as descendants of slaves,
237
680936
3419
11:36
or people who perform manual labor.
238
684379
2347
11:39
So here's how it looks
from a banana-peel-universe point of view,
from a banana-peel-universe point of view,
239
687838
5714
11:45
from my mindset which I call
"Emily's universe."
"Emily's universe."
240
693576
3335
11:49
First of all,
241
697808
1175
11:52
I am incredibly grateful for life,
242
700323
5245
11:57
but I don't want to be immortal.
243
705592
2067
12:00
I have no interest in having
my name live on after me.
my name live on after me.
244
708132
4018
12:04
In fact, I don't want it to,
245
712174
2179
12:06
because it's been my observation
246
714377
1654
12:08
that no matter how nice and how brilliant
247
716055
2725
12:10
or how talented you are,
248
718804
1612
12:12
50 years after you die, they turn on you.
249
720440
2612
12:15
(Laughter)
250
723076
1476
12:16
And I have actual proof of that.
251
724576
2515
12:19
A headline from the Los Angeles Times:
252
727115
3232
12:22
"Anne Frank: Not so nice after all."
253
730371
3131
12:25
(Laughter)
254
733526
5270
12:30
Plus, I love being in sync
255
738820
3362
12:34
with the cyclical rhythms of the universe.
256
742206
2519
12:36
That's what's so extraordinary about life:
257
744749
2269
12:39
it's a cycle of generation,
258
747042
2197
12:41
degeneration,
259
749263
1406
12:42
regeneration.
260
750693
1599
12:44
"I" am just a collection of particles
261
752316
3898
12:48
that is arranged into this pattern,
262
756238
2879
12:51
then will decompose and be available,
263
759141
2762
12:53
all of its constituent parts, to nature,
264
761927
2547
12:56
to reorganize into another pattern.
265
764498
2154
12:59
To me, that is so exciting,
266
767779
2459
13:02
and it makes me even more grateful
to be part of that process.
to be part of that process.
267
770262
4408
13:07
You know,
268
775331
1720
13:09
I look at death now from the point of view
of a German biologist,
of a German biologist,
269
777075
6042
13:15
Andreas Weber,
270
783141
1455
13:16
who looks at it as part
of the gift economy.
of the gift economy.
271
784620
3602
13:20
You're given this enormous gift -- life,
272
788246
2778
13:23
you enrich it as best you can,
273
791048
2343
13:25
and then you give it back.
274
793415
2060
13:28
And, you know, Auntie Mame
said, "Life is a banquet" --
said, "Life is a banquet" --
275
796019
3333
13:31
well, I've eaten my fill.
276
799376
2111
13:34
I have had an enormous appetite for life,
277
802126
2271
13:36
I've consumed life,
278
804421
1223
13:37
but in death, I'm going to be consumed.
279
805668
2635
13:40
I'm going into the ground
just the way I am,
just the way I am,
280
808327
3451
13:43
and there, I invite every microbe
281
811802
2951
13:46
and detritus-er
282
814777
1356
13:48
and decomposer
283
816157
2150
13:50
to have their fill --
284
818331
1166
13:51
I think they'll find me delicious.
285
819521
2556
13:54
(Laughter)
286
822101
1202
13:55
I do.
287
823327
1250
13:57
So the best thing about my attitude,
I think, is that it's real.
I think, is that it's real.
288
825584
5039
14:02
You can see it.
289
830647
1326
14:03
You can observe it.
290
831997
1151
14:05
It actually happens.
291
833172
1466
14:06
Well, maybe not my enriching the gift,
292
834662
3715
14:10
I don't know about that --
293
838401
1755
14:12
but my life has certainly
been enriched by other people.
been enriched by other people.
294
840180
3568
14:15
By TED,
295
843772
1205
14:17
which introduced me
to a whole network of people
to a whole network of people
296
845001
3159
14:20
who have enriched my life,
297
848184
2679
14:22
including Tricia McGillis,
my website designer,
my website designer,
298
850887
3193
14:26
who's working with my wonderful daughter
299
854104
2365
14:28
to take my website
and turn it into something
and turn it into something
300
856493
3538
14:32
where all I have to do is write a blog.
301
860055
1891
14:33
I don't have to use
the executive brain function ...
the executive brain function ...
302
861970
2496
14:36
Ha, ha, ha, I win!
303
864490
3579
14:40
(Laughter)
304
868093
1099
14:41
And I am so grateful to you.
305
869216
2658
14:44
I don't want to say, "the audience,"
306
872853
2520
14:47
because I don't really see it
as we're two separate things.
as we're two separate things.
307
875397
4405
14:51
I think of it in terms
of quantum physics, again.
of quantum physics, again.
308
879826
5625
14:58
And, you know, quantum physicists
are not exactly sure what happens
are not exactly sure what happens
309
886001
5297
15:03
when the wave becomes a particle.
310
891322
2598
15:05
There are different theories --
311
893944
1539
15:07
the collapse of the wave function,
312
895507
1621
15:09
decoherence --
313
897152
1151
15:10
but they're all agreed on one thing:
314
898327
1716
15:12
that reality comes into being
through an interaction.
through an interaction.
315
900067
3069
15:18
(Voice breaking) So do you.
316
906408
1413
15:20
And every audience I've ever had,
317
908628
2340
15:22
past and present.
318
910992
1554
15:25
Thank you so much for making my life real.
319
913508
3981
15:29
(Applause)
320
917513
1112
15:30
Thank you.
321
918649
1151
15:31
(Applause)
322
919824
1460
15:33
Thank you.
323
921308
1169
15:34
(Applause)
324
922501
1053
15:35
Thank you.
325
923578
1159
15:36
(Applause)
326
924761
1025
15:37
Thank you.
327
925810
1181
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Emily Levine - Philosopher-comicHumorist, writer and trickster Emily Levine riffs on science and the human condition.
Why you should listen
Humorist Emily Levine works a heady vein of humor, cerebral and thoughtful as well as hilarious. Oh, she's got plenty of jokes. But her work, at its core, makes serious connections -- between hard science and pop culture, between what we say and what we secretly assume ... She plumbs the hidden oppositions, the untouchable not-quite-truths of the modern mind.
Levine's background in improv theater, with its requirement to always say "yes" to the other actor's reality, has helped shape her worldview. Always suspicious of sharp either/or distinctions, she proposes "the quantum logic of and/and" -- a thoroughly postmodern, scientifically informed take on life that allows for complicated states of being. Like the one we're in right now.
For more on Levine's thoughts about life and death, read her blog, "The Yoy of Dying," at EmilysUniverse.com, along with updates on "Emily @ the Edge of Chaos" and pronouncements from Oracle Em.
Emily Levine | Speaker | TED.com