ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Novelist
Inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature.

Why you should listen

In Nigeria, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's novel Half of a Yellow Sun has helped inspire new, cross-generational communication about the Biafran war. In this and in her other works, she seeks to instill dignity into the finest details of each character, whether poor, middle class or rich, exposing along the way the deep scars of colonialism in the African landscape.

Adichie's newest book, The Thing Around Your Neck, is a brilliant collection of stories about Nigerians struggling to cope with a corrupted context in their home country, and about the Nigerian immigrant experience.

Adichie builds on the literary tradition of Igbo literary giant Chinua Achebe—and when she found out that Achebe liked Half of a Yellow Sun, she says she cried for a whole day. What he said about her rings true: “We do not usually associate wisdom with beginners, but here is a new writer endowed with the gift of ancient storytellers.”

(Photo: Wani Olatunde) 

More profile about the speaker
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie | Speaker | TED.com
TEDxEuston

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: We should all be feminists

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: 我们都应成为女权主义者 我们都应成为女权主义者

Filmed:
4,033,919 views

我们教育女孩可以有野心,但是不要太大……可以成功,但是不要过于成功,否则就会对男人构成威胁,演讲者 Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie 说。在这场经典的演讲中 Adichie 从女权主义的全球大讨论开始,呼吁我们开始梦想并规划一个不同的、更加公平的世界——男人和女人都更加的快乐和真我。
- Novelist
Inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
So I would like to start开始 by telling告诉 you
about one of my greatest最大 friends朋友,
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今天我打算从一个我最好的朋友开始讲起,
00:17
OkolomaOkoloma MaduewesiMaduewesi.
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他叫 Okoloma Maduewesi。
00:19
OkolomaOkoloma lived生活 on my street
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Okoloma 跟我住一个街区
00:21
and looked看着 after me like a big brother哥哥.
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像大哥哥一样照顾我。
00:23
If I liked喜欢 a boy男孩,
I would ask Okoloma'sOkoloma的 opinion意见.
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像是暗恋这样的事情我都会问Okoloma的意见。
00:28
OkolomaOkoloma died死亡 in the notorious臭名昭著
SosolisoSosoliso plane平面 crash紧急
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Okoloma死于尼日利亚Sosoliso空难
00:32
in Nigeria尼日利亚 in December十二月 of 2005.
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时间是2005年12月。
00:35
Almost几乎 exactly究竟 seven years年份 ago.
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差不多已经快七年了。
00:38
OkolomaOkoloma was a person I could argue争论 with,
laugh with and truly talk to.
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我跟Okoloma无话不谈,毫无保留。
00:43
He was also the first person
to call me a feminist女权主义者.
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他也是第一个称我为“女权主义者”的人。
00:47
I was about fourteen十四,
we were at his house, arguing争论.
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当时我才14岁,在他的家里争论某些话题。
00:50
Both of us bristling林立的
with half bit knowledge知识
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当时我们因为对书中知识的理解不同
00:53
from books图书 that we had read.
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而争的面红耳赤。
00:55
I don't remember记得 what this
particular特定 argument论据 was about,
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我已经忘记当时争论的是什么了,
00:59
but I remember记得
that as I argued争论 and argued争论,
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但是我记得吵着吵着,
01:01
OkolomaOkoloma looked看着 at me and said,
"You know, you're a feminist女权主义者."
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Okoloma看着我说:
“你知道嘛?你是个女权主义者。”
01:05
It was not a compliment赞扬.
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这可不是在夸奖我。
01:07
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
01:08
I could tell from his tone,
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我来形容一下他的语气,
01:09
the same相同 tone that you would use
to say something like,
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大概类似于现在这个时代说
01:12
"You're a supporter支持者 of terrorism恐怖主义."
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“你支持者恐怖主义”一样。
01:14
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
01:17
I did not know exactly究竟
what this word "feminist女权主义者" meant意味着,
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我当时不知道女权主义者是什么意思,
01:20
and I did not want OkolomaOkoloma
to know that I did not know.
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我更不想让Okoloma发现我不知道。
01:24
So I brushed it aside在旁边,
and I continued继续 to argue争论.
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所以我当时没接这个话茬,
继续争论之前的话题。
01:27
And the first thing
I planned计划 to do when I got home
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当我回到家的第一件事情
01:29
was to look up the word
"feminist女权主义者" in the dictionary字典.
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就是去字典里查“女权主义者”是什么意思。
01:32
Now fast快速 forward前锋 to some years年份 later后来,
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时间快进到若干年后,
01:35
I wrote a novel小说 about a man
who among其中 other things beats节拍 his wife妻子
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我写了一本书,情节包含了
一个男人打自己的老婆
01:39
and whose谁的 story故事 doesn't end结束 very well.
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然后(他的)下场不是很好。
01:42
While I was promoting促进
the novel小说 in Nigeria尼日利亚,
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当我在尼日利亚为小说进行宣传时,
01:44
a journalist记者, a nice不错, well-meaning善意 man,
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一个记者,一位善良好心的男人,
01:47
told me he wanted to advise劝告 me.
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告诉我他希望给我一点建议。
01:51
And for the Nigerians尼日利亚人 here,
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我想在座的尼日利亚人
01:52
I'm sure we're all familiar
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一定都非常熟悉
01:54
with how quick our people are
to give unsolicited不请自来 advice忠告.
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我们的同胞是多么急切地要提供建议。
02:01
He told me that people were saying
that my novel小说 was feminist女权主义者
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他告诉我说人们觉得我的小说是女权主义的
02:05
and his advice忠告 to me --
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并且他建议我——
02:06
and he was shaking发抖 his head
sadly可悲的是 as he spoke --
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当他说的时候悲伤的摇着头——
02:10
was that I should never
call myself a feminist女权主义者
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我应该再也不要提及自己是女权主义者
02:12
because feminists女权主义者
are women妇女 who are unhappy不快乐
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因为女权主义者都是一些不开心的女人
02:14
because they cannot不能 find husbands丈夫.
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因为她们找不到丈夫。
02:16
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
02:21
So I decided决定 to call myself
"a happy快乐 feminist女权主义者."
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所以我开始称自己为
“快乐的女权主义者”
02:25
Then an academic学术的, a Nigerian尼日利亚 woman女人 told me
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后来一位学者,一位尼日利亚的女性告诉我
02:27
that feminism女权主义 was not our culture文化
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女权主义不是我们文化的一部分,
02:29
and that feminism女权主义 wasn't African非洲人,
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女权主义也不是非洲的,
02:31
and that I was calling调用 myself a feminist女权主义者
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我之所以自称女权主义者
02:33
because I had been corrupted损坏
by "Western西 books图书."
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是因为我看了太多“西方的书”。
02:36
Which哪一个 amused me,
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这个说法让我觉得很有趣,
02:37
because a lot of my early readings读数
were decidedly果断地 unfeministunfeminist.
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因为我早年阅读的那些书
百分百跟女权主义无关。
02:40
I think I must必须 have read every一切 single
Mills米尔斯 &amp功放; Boon福利 romance浪漫 published发表
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我想我一定是在我16岁之前就已经通读了
02:43
before I was sixteen十六.
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Mills & Boon 出版的所有书籍
02:45
And each time I tried试着 to read those books图书
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每当我打算阅读那些书
02:47
called "the feminist女权主义者 classics,"
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那些”女权主义经典“
02:49
I'd get bored无聊, and I really
struggled挣扎 to finish them.
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我都会觉得很无聊,很难看下去。
02:52
But anyway无论如何, since以来 feminism女权主义 was un-African联合国非洲,
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但是不管怎样,既然女权主义不是非洲的,
02:55
I decided决定 that I would now call myself
"a happy快乐 African非洲人 feminist女权主义者."
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我决定称自己为
“快乐的非洲女权主义者”
02:59
At some point I was a happy快乐 African非洲人
feminist女权主义者 who does not hate讨厌 men男人
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现在我变成了一个不讨厌男人的
快乐的非洲女权主义者
03:04
and who likes喜欢 lip gloss掩饰
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喜欢涂润唇膏
03:05
and who wears穿 high heels脚跟
for herself她自己 but not for men男人.
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根据自己而不是男人的喜好来穿高跟鞋。
03:08
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
03:09
Of course课程 a lot of this
was tongue-in-cheek舌头在脸颊,
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当然我刚才很多话都是半开玩笑的,
03:12
but that word feminist女权主义者 is so heavy
with baggage行李, negative baggage行李.
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但是“女权主义者”这个词带着
很多负面的历史包袱。
03:16
You hate讨厌 men男人, you hate讨厌 bras胸罩,
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你厌恶男人,你厌恶文胸,
03:19
you hate讨厌 African非洲人 culture文化,
that sort分类 of thing.
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你厌恶非洲文化,如此种种。
03:22
Now here's这里的 a story故事 from my childhood童年.
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我要讲一个我小时候的故事。
03:25
When I was in primary school学校,
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当我上小学的时候,
03:26
my teacher老师 said at the beginning开始 of term术语
that she would give the class a test测试
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我的老师说在开学时会有一场考试
03:31
and whoever got the highest最高 score得分了
would be the class monitor监控.
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考试分数最高的人将当上班长。
03:34
Now, class monitor监控 was a big deal合同.
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各位,当班长可是件大事。
03:37
If you were a class monitor监控,
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一旦你当上了班长,
03:39
you got to write down
the names of noisemakers发出大声音 --
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你就有权把捣蛋的小朋友记下来
03:41
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
03:43
which哪一个 was having enough足够 power功率 of its own拥有.
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这个权力可是很大的哦。
03:46
But my teacher老师 would also give you
a cane甘蔗 to hold保持 in your hand
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而且我的老师还会拿根教鞭交给班长
03:51
while you walk步行 around
and patrol巡逻 the class for noisemakers发出大声音.
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在班级里巡逻揪出捣蛋鬼的时候攥在手里
03:55
Now, of course课程 you were not
actually其实 allowed允许 to use the cane甘蔗.
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当然,使用教鞭打人是被禁止的。
03:58
But it was an exciting扣人心弦 prospect展望
for the nine-year-old九十岁 me.
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对于9岁的我来说太激动人心了
04:02
I very much wanted
to be the class monitor监控.
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我非常想当上班长。
04:05
And I got the highest最高 score得分了 on the test测试.
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而且我也顺利考到了第一名。
04:07
Then, to my surprise, my teacher老师 said
that the monitor监控 had to be a boy男孩.
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然后我非常惊讶的听老师说,
班长必须是男孩。
04:12
She had forgotten忘记了
to make that clear明确 earlier
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她在考试前忘记澄清了
04:14
because she assumed假定 it was ... obvious明显.
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因为她觉得这是很……自然的。
04:16
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
04:18
A boy男孩 had the second第二 highest最高
score得分了 on the test测试,
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第二名是个男孩,
04:21
and he would be monitor监控.
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他被提名当班长。
04:23
Now, what was even more
interesting有趣 about this
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有意思的是
04:26
is that the boy男孩 was a sweet, gentle温和 soul灵魂
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这个男孩很温和腼腆,
04:30
who had no interest利益
in patrolling巡逻 the class with the cane甘蔗,
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并没有兴趣拿着教鞭在教室巡逻,
04:34
while I was full充分 of ambition志向 to do so.
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而我则非常渴望能这么做。
04:38
But I was female and he was male,
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但是我是女孩他是男孩,
04:40
and so he became成为 the class monitor监控.
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所以他当上了班长。
04:43
And I've never forgotten忘记了 that incident事件.
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这件事情我一辈子都不会忘。
04:46
I often经常 make the mistake错误 of thinking思维
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我经常犯的一个思维的误区
04:48
that something that is obvious明显 to me
is just as obvious明显 to everyone大家 else其他.
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是我觉得对我而言非常明显的道理
对别人并不是自然而然的。
04:51
Now, take my dear friend朋友 Louis路易
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让我以我的好朋友 Louis
04:53
for example.
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举个例子。
04:54
Louis路易 is a brilliant辉煌, progressive进步 man,
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Louis 是一个聪明有上进心的男人,
04:56
and we would have conversations对话
and he would tell me,
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当我们聊天的时候他时常跟我说,
04:58
"I don't know what you mean by things
being存在 different不同 or harder更难 for women妇女.
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“我不知道你为什么老说
女人做起事情更加困难”
05:02
Maybe in the past过去, but not now."
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“过去或许是,但是现在已经不同了。”
05:05
And I didn't understand理解 how Louis路易
could not see what seems似乎 so self-evident不言而喻.
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我不理解Louis怎么会看不到如此明显的事实。
05:10
Then one evening晚间, in Lagos拉各斯,
Louis路易 and I went out with friends朋友.
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有天晚上,我跟Louis在拉各斯市
(尼日利亚首都)跟朋友聚会。
05:14
And for people here
who are not familiar with Lagos拉各斯,
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各位可能不太熟悉拉各斯市,
05:16
there's that wonderful精彩 Lagos'拉各斯 fixture夹具,
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这个城市的标志性组成之一,
05:18
the sprinkling of energetic有活力 men男人
who hang around outside establishments场所
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就是散布在各个建筑外的
精力充沛的男人
05:23
and very dramatically显着
"help" you park公园 your car汽车.
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举止非常夸张地“帮助”你泊车。
05:28
I was impressed印象深刻
with the particular特定 theatrics戏剧
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我那天对于帮助我们找到停车位的
05:31
of the man who found发现 us
a parking停車處 spot that evening晚间.
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那个男人的行为表现非常满意。
05:34
And so as we were leaving离开,
I decided决定 to leave离开 him a tip小费.
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所以当我从车上下来之后我决定给小费。
05:38
I opened打开 my bag,
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我打开我的包,
05:40
put my hand inside my bag,
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把我的手伸进我的包,
05:41
brought out my money
that I had earned from doing my work,
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拿出我的钱,
05:45
and I gave it to the man.
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然后给了那个男人。
05:47
And he, this man who was
very grateful感激 and very happy快乐,
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这个男人非常地感激和开心,
05:52
took the money from me,
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从我手里拿到了钱,
05:53
looked看着 across横过 at Louis路易
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(却)把目光投向Louis
05:55
and said, "Thank you, sir先生!"
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说道,“谢谢您,先生!”
05:57
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
06:03
Louis路易 looked看着 at me, surprised诧异,
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Louis很惊讶的看着我,
06:06
and asked, "Why is he thanking表达感谢 me?
I didn't give him the money."
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问,“为什么他要感谢我?
又不是我给他的钱。”
06:10
Then I saw realization实现
dawn黎明 on Louis'路易 face面对.
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然后我看到Louis恍然大悟的表情。
06:15
The man believed相信 that whatever随你 money I had
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那个男人相信我手里的钱
06:17
had ultimately最终 come from Louis路易.
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最终都是来自于身边的男人Louis的。
06:21
Because Louis路易 is a man.
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就因为Louis是男的。
06:24
Men男人 and women妇女 are different不同.
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男人和女人是不同的。
06:26
We have different不同 hormones激素,
we have different不同 sexual有性 organs器官,
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我们有不同的荷尔蒙,
有不同的性器官,
06:29
we have different不同 biological生物 abilities能力.
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在生理能力上也各有千秋。
06:31
Women妇女 can have babies婴儿, men男人 can't.
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女人可以生孩子,男人不行。
06:34
At least最小 not yet然而.
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至少现在不行。
06:36
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
06:37
Men男人 have testosterone睾酮 and are
in general一般 physically物理 stronger than women妇女.
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男人有睾丸酮,身体比女人更强壮有力。
06:42
There's slightly more women妇女
than men男人 in the world世界,
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女人的数量比男人稍多一些,
06:45
about 52 percent百分 of the world's世界
population人口 is female.
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全球大概52%是女性。
06:48
But most of the positions位置 of power功率
and prestige声望 are occupied占据 by men男人.
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但是男人攫取了绝大部分权力和威望。
06:52
The late晚了 Kenyan肯尼亚 Nobel诺贝尔 Peace和平 laureate得主,
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那位肯尼亚诺贝尔和平奖得主
06:55
Wangari Maathai马塔伊,
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Wangari Waathai,
06:56
put it simply只是 and well when she said:
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她阐述的非常明确:
06:59
"The higher更高 you go,
the fewer women妇女 there are."
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“当你爬的越高,你发现女人越少。”
07:03
In the recent最近 US elections选举 we kept不停 hearing听力
of the Lilly礼来公司 Ledbetter莱德贝特 law,
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在最近的(2016年)美国大选中
Lilly Ledbetter 法案经常被提到,
07:08
and if we go beyond the nicely很好
alliterative押头韵 name名称 of that law,
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这个法案的名字虽然好玩,
但是进一步了解你会发现
07:12
it was really about a man and a woman女人
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这实际上是说一个男人和女人
07:14
doing the same相同 job工作,
being存在 equally一样 qualified合格,
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如果工作内容和产出都相同,
07:16
and the man being存在 paid支付 more
because he's a man.
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那么男人会拿到更多的薪酬,
仅仅因为他是男人。
07:20
So in the literal文字 way, men男人 rule规则 the world世界,
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所以,男人真的掌控着世界,
07:23
and this made制作 sense a thousand years年份 ago
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而且数千年前这样是合理的,
07:27
because human人的 beings众生 lived生活 then in a world世界
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因为人类生存的环境,
07:30
in which哪一个 physical物理 strength强度 was
the most important重要 attribute属性 for survival生存.
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当务之急是在恶劣环境中求生存。
07:34
The physically物理 stronger person
was more likely容易 to lead,
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身体强壮的人更可能做首领,
07:39
and men男人, in general一般,
are physically物理 stronger.
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而男人身体普遍更强壮。
07:41
Of course课程 there are many许多 exceptions例外.
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当然也有很多男人很虚。
07:43
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
07:45
But today今天 we live生活
in a vastly大大 different不同 world世界.
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但是今天我们生活在完全不同的世界。
07:49
The person more likely容易 to lead
is not the physically物理 stronger person;
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现在成为首领的要素,
已经不再是身体强壮,
07:53
it is the more creative创作的 person,
the more intelligent智能 person,
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而是要求有创造力,更加睿智,
07:57
the more innovative创新 person,
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更加有创新精神的人,
07:59
and there are no hormones激素
for those attributes属性.
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这些特质都不受荷尔蒙的支配。
08:02
A man is as likely容易 as a woman女人
to be intelligent智能,
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在智力上男人女人没有什么差异,
08:05
to be creative创作的, to be innovative创新.
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在创新和创造能力上也是如此。
08:07
We have evolved进化;
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我们在进化;
08:09
but it seems似乎 to me that our ideas思路
of gender性别 had not evolved进化.
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但是看起来我们的性别观忘记进化了。
08:13
Some weeks ago, I walked into a lobby前厅
of one of the best最好 Nigerian尼日利亚 hotels酒店.
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几周前,我走进一个酒店大厅,那是
尼日利亚最好的酒店之一。
08:18
I thought about naming命名 the hotel旅馆,
but I thought I probably大概 shouldn't不能.
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我在想要不要点出酒店的名字,
但是在这里我想还是算了。
08:21
And a guard守卫 at the entrance入口 stopped停止 me
and asked me annoying恼人的 questions问题,
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酒店门口的保安拦住了我,
问些让人恼火的问题,
08:25
because their automatic自动 assumption假设 is
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因为他们理所当然的以为,
08:27
that a Nigerian尼日利亚 female walking步行
into a hotel旅馆 alone单独 is a sex性别 worker工人.
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单独走进酒店的当地女性,一定是妓女。
08:33
And by the way,
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而且顺带一问,
08:34
why do these hotels酒店
focus焦点 on the ostensible表面的 supply供应
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为什么这些酒店在乎表面的服务
08:37
rather than the demand需求 for sex性别 workers工人?
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对于性工作者的需求却视而不见?
08:41
In Lagos拉各斯 I cannot不能 go alone单独
into many许多 "reputable信誉" bars酒吧 and clubs会所.
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拉各斯很多有“名望”的酒吧和俱乐部,
我一个人是进不去的。
08:46
They just don't let you in
if you're a woman女人 alone单独,
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他们不允许女人单独进入,
08:49
you have to be accompanied伴随着 by a man.
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你要进去就必须有男人陪着。
08:51
Each time I walk步行 into
a Nigerian尼日利亚 restaurant餐厅 with a man,
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每次我带着一个男人进入尼日利亚的餐馆,
08:54
the waiter服务员 greets招呼 the man and ignores忽略 me.
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服务生总是招呼男人,忽略我。
08:58
The waiters服务员 are products制品 --
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这些服务生是产品——
08:59
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
09:01
At this some women妇女
felt like, "Yes! I thought that!"
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这时一些女人的反应是,
“没错!我想也是!”
09:03
The waiters服务员 are products制品 of a society社会
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这些服务生是社会的产物
09:05
that has taught them that men男人
are more important重要 than women妇女.
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社会教育他们男人比女人重要。
09:10
And I know that waiters服务员
don't intend打算 any harm危害.
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我也知道服务生无意冒犯我。
09:13
But it's one thing to know intellectually知性上
and quite相当 another另一个 to feel it emotionally感情上.
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但是理性分析是一回事,
感觉和情绪是另一回事。
09:17
Each time they ignore忽视 me,
I feel invisible无形.
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每次我被人忽略,我感到被无视了。
09:19
I feel upset烦乱.
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我感到沮丧。
09:21
I want to tell them
that I am just as human人的 as the man,
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我想告诉他们我也是人,跟男人一样,
09:25
that I'm just as worthy值得 of acknowledgment承认.
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我也理应被认可。
09:28
These are little things,
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这些都是小事,
09:30
but sometimes有时 it's the little things
that sting the most.
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但有时恰恰是小事最能刺痛你。
09:33
And not long ago, I wrote an article文章
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不久之前,我写了篇文章
09:35
about what it means手段
to be young年轻 and female in Lagos拉各斯,
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描述在拉各斯生活的年轻女性要面对什么,
09:38
and the printers打印机 told me,
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后来印刷商跟我说,
09:41
"It was so angry愤怒."
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“文章怒气满满啊。”
09:42
Of course课程 it was angry愤怒!
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当然很有怒气了!
09:44
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
09:48
I am angry愤怒.
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我很生气。
09:50
Gender性别 as it functions功能 today今天
is a grave injustice不公正.
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性别在今天依然存在着严重的歧视。
09:53
We should all be angry愤怒.
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我们都应该感到愤怒。
09:55
Anger愤怒 has a long history历史
of bringing使 about positive change更改;
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历史上愤怒带来过很多积极的进步;
09:59
but, in addition加成 to being存在 angry愤怒,
I'm also hopeful有希望.
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但是在愤怒之外我还满怀希望。
10:02
Because I believe deeply
in the ability能力 of human人的 beings众生
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因为我深深的相信人类有种能力
10:05
to make and remake翻拍
themselves他们自己 for the better.
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我们可以不断改变让自己更好。
10:08
Gender性别 matters事项 everywhere到处 in the world世界,
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性别问题在全世界都存在,
10:10
but I want to focus焦点 on Nigeria尼日利亚
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但是我聚焦于尼日利亚,
10:13
and on Africa非洲 in general一般,
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以及整个非洲,
10:15
because it is where I know,
and because it is where my heart is.
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这是我的故乡,我的心之所向。
10:18
And I would like today今天 to ask
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今天我希望大家
10:20
that we begin开始 to dream梦想 about
and plan计划 for a different不同 world世界,
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4136
能够开始梦想和筹划一个不一样的世界,
10:24
a fairer更公平 world世界,
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这个世界更加公平,
10:28
a world世界 of happier幸福 men男人 and happier幸福 women妇女
who are truer更真实 to themselves他们自己.
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这个世界男人和女人都更加开心和真实。
10:32
And this is how to start开始:
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我们要从这里开始改变:
10:34
we must必须 raise提高 our daughters女儿 differently不同.
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我们要改变教育我们女儿的方式。
10:36
We must必须 also raise提高 our sons儿子 differently不同.
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我们要改变教育我们儿子的方式。
10:40
We do a great disservice帮倒忙 to boys男孩
on how we raise提高 them;
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我们培养男孩的方式给他们
带来了极大的伤害:
10:43
we stifle窒息 the humanity人性 of boys男孩.
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我们抹掉了男孩子人性的那一面。
10:46
We define确定 masculinity阳刚之气
in a very narrow狭窄 way,
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我们对男子气概的定义非常狭隘,
10:49
masculinity阳刚之气 becomes this hard, small cage
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男子气概就像是一个坚硬狭小的牢笼,
10:52
and we put boys男孩 inside the cage.
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我们把男孩子塞了进去。
10:54
We teach boys男孩 to be afraid害怕 of fear恐惧.
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我们让男孩子不敢坦诚自己的害怕。
10:57
We teach boys男孩 to be afraid害怕
of weakness弱点, of vulnerability漏洞.
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我们让男孩子不敢暴露自己的脆弱。
11:02
We teach them to mask面具 their true真正 selves自我,
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我们让男孩子藏起真实的自己,
11:04
because they have to be,
in Nigerian尼日利亚 speak说话, "hard man!"
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教他们必须成为尼日利亚人口中的“硬汉”。
11:10
In secondary次要 school学校, a boy男孩 and a girl女孩,
both of them teenagers青少年,
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在中学,相同年纪的男孩和女孩,
11:14
both of them with the same相同 amount
of pocket口袋 money, would go out
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3496
口袋里有同样多的零花钱,
11:18
and then the boy男孩
would be expected预期 always to pay工资,
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结伴出去玩的时候,男孩默认要付钱,
11:20
to prove证明 his masculinity阳刚之气.
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这样才体现男子气概。
11:23
And yet然而 we wonder奇迹 why boys男孩 are more likely容易
to steal money from their parents父母.
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与此同时我们还疑惑为什么男孩喜欢从家里偷钱。
11:29
What if both boys男孩 and girls女孩 were raised上调
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如果我们在养育男孩和女孩的时候
11:32
not to link链接 masculinity阳刚之气 with money?
227
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不把男子气概和钱挂钩会这样?
11:35
What if the attitude态度
was not "the boy男孩 has to pay工资"
228
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如果我们把“男孩付钱”的风俗改成
11:38
but rather "whoever has more should pay工资?"
229
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“谁钱多谁付钱”那么会不会更好?
11:42
Now, of course课程 because
of that historical历史的 advantage优点,
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当然,由于历史积累的差异,
11:44
it is mostly大多 men男人 who will have more today今天,
231
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绝大部分情况下男人更有钱一些,
11:47
but if we start开始
raising提高 children孩子 differently不同,
232
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但是如果我们开始改变教育孩子的方式,
11:50
then in fifty五十 years年份, in a hundred years年份,
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五十年后,一百年后,
11:52
boys男孩 will no longer have the pressure压力
of having to prove证明 this masculinity阳刚之气.
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那时男孩子将不再需要被迫证明自己的男子气概。
11:57
But by far the worst最差 thing we do to males男性,
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但是我们对于男人做的最糟糕的事情,
12:00
by making制造 them feel
that they have to be hard,
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是让他们觉得自己必须要“硬”
12:03
is that we leave离开 them
with very fragile脆弱 egos自我.
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却相反的让他们的内心非常脆弱。
12:07
The more "hard man"
the man feels感觉 compelled被迫 to be,
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3400
一个男人给我的“硬汉”感觉越强烈,
12:11
the weaker较弱 his ego自我 is.
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他的内心就越脆弱。
12:14
And then we do a much greater更大
disservice帮倒忙 to girls女孩
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我们教育女孩的方式给她们带来了极大的伤害,
12:18
because we raise提高 them
to cater迎合 to the fragile脆弱 egos自我 of men男人.
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因为我们教育她们去呵护男人的脆弱内心。
12:22
We teach girls女孩 to shrink收缩 themselves他们自己,
to make themselves他们自己 smaller,
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我们教育女孩子收敛,放低自己,
12:25
we say to girls女孩,
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对女孩说,
12:27
"You can have ambition志向, but not too much."
244
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“有野心挺好的,但是不要太大。”
12:29
(Laughter笑声)
245
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(笑声)
12:31
"You should aim目标 to be successful成功,
but not too successful成功,
246
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“你要努力成功,但是一点点就好,”
12:33
otherwise除此以外 you would threaten威胁 the man."
247
741960
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“不要威胁到男人的地位。”
12:36
If you are the breadwinner养家糊口的人
in your relationship关系 with a man,
248
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如果你比你老公更能赚钱养家,
12:39
you have to pretend假装 that you're not,
249
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你必须假装赚的没有老公多,
12:41
especially特别 in public上市,
250
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尤其是公开场合,
12:43
otherwise除此以外 you will emasculate阉割 him.
251
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不然会让你的男人看着不像男人。
12:46
But what if we question
the premise前提 itself本身?
252
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但是这个前提本身我们是否质疑过呢?
12:49
Why should a woman's女人的 success成功
be a threat威胁 to a man?
253
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为什么一个女人事业有成就会威胁到男人了?
12:53
What if we decide决定
to simply只是 dispose部署 of that word,
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3536
为什么我们不能够直接弃用那个英语单词,
12:56
and I don't think there's an English英语 word
I dislike反感 more than "emasculation去雄."
255
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那个在英语里我最不喜欢的一个词:
”emasculation“(失去男子气概)
13:02
A Nigerian尼日利亚 acquaintance熟人 once一旦 asked me
256
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一位尼日利亚的朋友问我
13:05
if I was worried担心 that men男人
would be intimidated吓倒 by me.
257
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是否担心我会吓到男人。
13:08
I was not worried担心 at all.
258
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我一点儿也不担心。
13:10
In fact事实, it had not occurred发生
to me to be worried担心
259
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事实上也从未担心过
13:12
because a man who would
be intimidated吓倒 by me
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因为一个可能被我(的成功)吓到的人
13:14
is exactly究竟 the kind of man
I would have no interest利益 in.
261
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完全不会是我喜欢的男人类型。
13:17
(Laughter笑声)
262
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(笑声)
13:18
(Applause掌声)
263
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(掌声)
13:26
But still I was really struck来袭 by this.
264
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但是这件事对我触动很大。
13:29
Because I'm female,
I'm expected预期 to aspire立志 to marriage婚姻;
265
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因为我是女性,我被要求以婚姻为重。
13:33
I'm expected预期 to make my life choices选择
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人们期待我每次的人生选择
13:35
always keeping保持 in mind心神
that marriage婚姻 is the most important重要.
267
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都首先要考虑对婚姻可能的影响。
13:40
A marriage婚姻 can be a good thing;
268
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1976
婚姻可以是美好的;
13:42
it can be a source资源 of joy喜悦
and love and mutual相互 support支持.
269
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婚姻可以带来快乐、爱和精神支持。
13:46
But why do we teach girls女孩
to aspire立志 to marriage婚姻
270
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但是我们在培养女孩子的婚姻观的时候,
13:48
and we don't teach boys男孩 the same相同?
271
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我们有没有同样的教育男孩子婚姻观?
13:52
I know a woman女人
who decided决定 to sell her house
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我认识的一个女人卖掉了自己的房子
13:55
because she didn't want
to intimidate威吓 a man who might威力 marry结婚 her.
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因为她不希望让打算娶她的男人感到困扰。
13:59
I know an unmarried未婚 woman女人 in Nigeria尼日利亚
who, when she goes to conferences会议,
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我认识一位尼日利亚的女性,每次出去开会,
14:04
wears穿 a wedding婚礼 ring
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都要戴一枚戒指
14:05
because according根据 to her,
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因为她说,
14:07
she wants the other participants参与者
in the conference会议 to "give her respect尊重."
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她希望其他参会人员“尊重她”。
14:12
I know young年轻 women妇女
who are under so much pressure压力
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我知道年轻女人的压力有多大
14:14
from family家庭, from friends朋友,
even from work to get married已婚,
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亲朋好友都逼着她结婚,
14:18
and they're pushed
to make terrible可怕 choices选择.
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有些在这样的压力下做了糟糕的选择。
14:21
A woman女人 at a certain某些 age年龄 who is unmarried未婚,
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一个女人到了一定年龄还没嫁出去,
14:24
our society社会 teaches her
to see it as a deep, personal个人 failure失败.
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舆论会让她觉得这是极大的个人失败。
14:29
And a man at a certain某些 age年龄
who is unmarried未婚,
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一个男人到了一定年龄还没有结婚,
14:31
we just think he hasn't有没有 come around
to making制造 his pick.
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我们会说他仅仅是还没有遇到合适的。
14:34
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
14:36
It's easy简单 for us to say,
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我们很容易这么说,
14:38
"Oh, but women妇女 can
just say no to all of this."
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“哦,但是女人可以说不呀。”
14:40
But the reality现实 is more difficult
and more complex复杂.
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但是现实要复杂和困难的多。
14:43
We're all social社会 beings众生.
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我们都是社会的一份子。
14:45
We internalize内在 ideas思路
from our socialization社会化.
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我们内在的想法来自我们所处的社会。
14:47
Even the language语言 we use
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甚至我们谈论婚姻时
14:49
in talking about marriage婚姻
and relationships关系 illustrates说明 this.
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我们的语言都会对我们有影响。
14:53
The language语言 of marriage婚姻
is often经常 the language语言 of ownership所有权
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我们的语言描述婚姻更像是一种所有关系,
14:56
rather than the language语言 of partnership合伙.
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而不是一种对等的伙伴关系。
14:58
We use the word "respect尊重"
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我们使用“尊重”一词
15:01
to mean something a woman女人 shows节目 a man
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来更多的描述女人对男人的态度
15:04
but often经常 not something
a man shows节目 a woman女人.
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而不是男人对女人的态度。
15:08
Both men男人 and women妇女 in Nigeria尼日利亚 will say --
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尼日利亚的男人和女人都会说——
15:10
this is an expression表达
I'm very amused by --
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这是我非常着迷的一个现象——
15:12
"I did it for peace和平 in my marriage婚姻."
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“我做这个是为了维持这个家。”
15:16
Now, when men男人 say it,
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当男人这么说的时候,
15:18
it is usually平时 about something
that they should not be doing anyway无论如何.
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通常是指那些他们本来就不应该做的事情。
15:21
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
15:23
Sometimes有时 they say it to their friends朋友,
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有时男人会跟朋友说,
15:25
it's something to say to their friends朋友
in a kind of fondly怜爱地 exasperated激怒 way,
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有时男人会对他的朋友用一种
深情又有点恼怒的口气,
15:29
you know, something that ultimately最终
proves证明 how masculine男性 they are,
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你知道就是那种最能够体现
他们男子气概的方式
15:33
how needed需要, how loved喜爱.
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充满了爱和体贴。
15:34
"Oh, my wife妻子 said
I can't go to the club俱乐部 every一切 night,
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“哎呀,我妻子不让我每天晚上来俱乐部,”
15:37
so for peace和平 in my marriage婚姻,
I do it only on weekends周末."
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“所以为了这个家我只有周末来。”
15:39
(Laughter笑声)
310
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(笑声)
15:41
Now, when a woman女人 says,
"I did it for peace和平 in my marriage婚姻,"
311
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但是当一个女人说出同样这句
“我做这个是为了这个家”
15:45
she's usually平时 talking
about giving up a job工作,
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她说的是放弃一份工作,
15:49
a dream梦想,
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放弃梦想,
15:50
a career事业.
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放弃事业。
15:53
We teach females女性 that in relationships关系,
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我们教育妇女在为了维持婚姻,
15:55
compromise妥协 is what women妇女 do.
316
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妥协退让是女人的本分。
15:59
We raise提高 girls女孩 to see
each other as competitors竞争对手 --
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我们教育女孩们将对方视为竞争者——
16:01
not for jobs工作 or for accomplishments成就,
which哪一个 I think can be a good thing,
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不是工作或成就上的竞争者,
——这种竞争我觉得很好,
16:05
but for attention注意 of men男人.
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而是为了吸引男人而竞争。
16:07
We teach girls女孩 that they
cannot不能 be sexual有性 beings众生
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我们告诉女孩子不能打扮太性感
16:10
in the way that boys男孩 are.
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而对男孩子就无所谓。
16:12
If we have sons儿子, we don't mind心神
knowing会心 about our sons'儿子 girlfriends女友.
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如果我们的儿子有了女朋友,我们不会介意。
16:16
But our daughters'女儿 boyfriends男朋友? God forbid禁止.
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但是女儿有了男朋友?绝对不行。
16:18
(Laughter笑声)
324
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(笑声)
16:20
But of course课程 when the time is right,
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1816
当然等到了合适的时间,
16:22
we expect期望 those girls女孩 to bring带来 back
the perfect完善 man to be their husbands丈夫.
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我们期待这些女孩能带回来一个
完美的男人成为她的丈夫。
16:26
We police警察 girls女孩,
we praise赞美 girls女孩 for virginity童贞,
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我们约束女孩要求她们保持童贞。
16:29
but we don't praise赞美 boys男孩 for virginity童贞,
328
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1936
但是我们不要求男孩保持童贞。
16:31
and it's always made制作 me wonder奇迹 how exactly究竟
this is supposed应该 to work out because ...
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这一直让我觉得很好奇
事情怎么能运转起来…
16:35
(Laughter笑声)
330
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(笑声)
16:37
(Applause掌声)
331
985880
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(掌声)
16:45
I mean, the loss失利 of virginity童贞
is usually平时 a process处理 that involves涉及 ...
332
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我的意思是,失去童真的过程
通常需要一男一女…
16:50
Recently最近 a young年轻 woman女人
was gang结伙 raped强奸 in a university大学 in Nigeria尼日利亚,
333
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4176
最近一名女孩在尼日利亚大学被轮奸,
16:54
I think some of us know about that.
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我想在做的各位可能听说了。
16:56
And the response响应 of many许多 young年轻 Nigerians尼日利亚人,
both male and female,
335
1004600
3256
很多尼日利亚人,包括男人和女人,
16:59
was something along沿 the lines线 of this:
336
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2496
他们的态度是这样的:
17:02
"Yes, rape强奸 is wrong错误.
337
1010400
2176
“没错,强奸犯法,”
17:04
But what is a girl女孩 doing
in a room房间 with four boys男孩?"
338
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3280
“但是一个女孩为什么要跟
四个男孩共处一室呢?”
17:08
Now, if we can forget忘记
the horrible可怕 inhumanity不人道 of that response响应,
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现在让我们先忽略掉这个反应的
冷血无情的部分,
17:14
these Nigerians尼日利亚人 have been raised上调
to think of women妇女 as inherently本质 guilty有罪,
340
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3920
这些尼日利亚人收到的教育
默认女人天生是有罪的,
17:19
and they have been raised上调
to expect期望 so little of men男人
341
1027319
3136
他们的教育也告诉他们
17:22
that the idea理念 of men男人 as savage野蛮人 beings众生
without any control控制
342
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3695
不要对男人的自控能力预期太高
17:26
is somehow不知何故 acceptable接受.
343
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做出兽行也是能理解的。
17:28
We teach girls女孩 shame耻辱.
344
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2017
我们教育女孩要知道羞耻。
17:30
"Close your legs." "Cover yourself你自己."
345
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1880
“腿夹紧。” “别穿那么暴露。”
17:33
We make them feel
as though虽然 by being存在 born天生 female
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2255
我们让女孩觉得生而为女人
17:35
they're already已经 guilty有罪 of something.
347
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2096
天生就是有罪的。
17:37
And so, girls女孩 grow增长 up to be women妇女
348
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2336
因此,女孩长大成女人
17:40
who cannot不能 see they have desire欲望.
349
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也对自己的渴望视而不见。
17:42
They grow增长 up to be women妇女
who silence安静 themselves他们自己.
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她们变成压抑自己的女人。
17:47
They grow增长 up to be women妇女
who cannot不能 say what they truly think,
351
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她们变成不能直抒己见的女人,
17:50
and they grow增长 up --
352
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1336
她们长大后——
17:51
and this is the worst最差 thing
we did to girls女孩 --
353
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2176
这是我们对女孩做的最糟糕的事情——
17:54
they grow增长 up to be women妇女
who have turned转身 pretense虚伪 into an art艺术 form形成.
354
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4136
她们长大之后把这种假装当作一种艺术。
17:58
(Applause掌声)
355
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3840
(掌声)
18:04
I know a woman女人 who hates domestic国内 work,
356
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3416
我知道一个女人,厌恶做家务,
18:07
she just hates it,
357
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1496
不喜欢做家务,
18:09
but she pretends假装 that she likes喜欢 it,
358
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1720
但是她假装自己很喜欢,
18:12
because she's been taught
that to be "good wife妻子 material材料"
359
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4096
因为她觉得这是“好妻子必备素质”
18:16
she has to be --
to use that Nigerian尼日利亚 word --
360
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2376
她不得不表现的——用尼日利亚的话说——
18:18
very "homely家常."
361
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1480
非常“居家”。
18:21
And then she got married已婚,
362
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1536
等她结婚了,
18:23
and after a while her husband's丈夫 family家庭
began开始 to complain抱怨 that she had changed.
363
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3816
没过多久她的婆家开始抱怨她变了。
18:26
(Laughter笑声)
364
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1576
(笑声)
18:28
Actually其实, she had not changed,
365
1096440
1456
实际上她没变,
18:29
she just got tired of pretending假装.
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1920
她就是不想再装了。
18:32
The problem问题 with gender性别,
367
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3136
性别问题,
18:35
is that it prescribes规定 how we should be
368
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2536
在于它规定了我们应该是什么样子,
18:38
rather than recognizing认识 how we are.
369
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2000
而不能发现我们为什么是现在这个样子。
18:41
Now imagine想像 how much happier幸福 we would be,
370
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2456
现在想想一下如果我们放下
18:43
how much freer自由 to be
our true真正 individual个人 selves自我,
371
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3496
性别形象带来的负担,我们将会多么的快乐,
18:47
if we didn't have the weight重量
of gender性别 expectations期望.
372
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2640
多么的自由,释放真正的自我。
18:51
Boys男孩 and girls女孩 are
undeniably无可否认 different不同 biologically生物,
373
1119240
4776
男性和女性在生理结构上
毫无疑问是有差异的,
18:56
but socialization社会化
exaggerates夸大 the differences分歧
374
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2976
但是社会结构夸大了这种差异,
18:59
and then it becomes
a self-fulfilling自我实现 process处理.
375
1127040
2576
并使得这种差异被累积和加深。
19:01
Now, take cooking烹饪 for example.
376
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2040
现在,以做饭为例。
19:04
Today今天 women妇女 in general一般 are more likely容易
to do the housework家务 than men男人,
377
1132280
3496
在今天女人一般比男人要多做家务,
19:07
the cooking烹饪 and cleaning清洁的.
378
1135800
1256
例如做饭和打扫。
19:09
But why is that?
379
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1576
但是为什么呢?
19:10
Is it because women妇女
are born天生 with a cooking烹饪 gene基因?
380
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2856
难道女人有做饭基因?
19:13
(Laughter笑声)
381
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1416
(笑声)
19:15
Or because over years年份 they have been
socialized社会化 to see cooking烹饪 as their role角色?
382
1143000
4256
还是说是社会观念觉得
做饭是女性应该做的?
19:19
Actually其实, I was going to say that maybe
women妇女 are born天生 with a cooking烹饪 gene基因,
383
1147280
3576
实际上我一度觉得女人确实有烹饪的基因,
19:22
until直到 I remember记得 that the majority多数
of the famous著名 cooks厨师 in the world世界,
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1150880
3456
直到我意识到这个世界上有名的厨子,
19:26
whom we give the fancy幻想 title标题 of "chefs厨师,"
385
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2296
那些我们冠以“大厨”头衔的人,
19:28
are men男人.
386
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1200
都是男人。
19:30
I used to look up to my grandmother祖母
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1696
我时常回忆起我的外婆
19:32
who was a brilliant辉煌, brilliant辉煌 woman女人,
388
1160680
2056
一位非常睿智的女人,
19:34
and wonder奇迹 how she would have been
389
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1736
我很好奇如果她在成长过程中
19:36
if she had the same相同 opportunities机会
as men男人 when she was growing生长 up.
390
1164520
3360
有跟男孩同样的机会,
会达到什么成就。
19:40
Now today今天, there are
many许多 more opportunities机会 for women妇女
391
1168960
2576
今天的女人有了很多机会
19:43
than there were
during my grandmother's祖母 time
392
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2256
是我外婆那一辈所没有的
19:45
because of changes变化 in policy政策,
changes变化 in law,
393
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2616
这得益于国家政策以及法律的改变,
19:48
all of which哪一个 are very important重要.
394
1176480
1576
每一项改变都非常重要。
19:50
But what matters事项 even more
is our attitude态度, our mindset心态,
395
1178080
4536
但是更重要的改变是我们的
态度和思维模式,
19:54
what we believe
and what we value about gender性别.
396
1182640
3296
在性别问题上我们的信念和价值观。
19:57
What if in raising提高 children孩子
397
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2416
如果我们关注能力而不是性别
20:00
we focus焦点 on ability能力 instead代替 of gender性别?
398
1188400
2800
我们抚养孩子会有怎样的不同?
20:04
What if in raising提高 children孩子
we focus焦点 on interest利益 instead代替 of gender性别?
399
1192000
4120
如果我们关注于兴趣而不是性别呢?
20:09
I know a family家庭
who have a son儿子 and a daughter女儿,
400
1197000
2216
我认识一家人,有一儿一女,
20:11
both of whom are brilliant辉煌 at school学校,
401
1199240
1896
儿女在学校表现都很好,
20:13
who are wonderful精彩, lovely可爱 children孩子.
402
1201160
1896
都是讨人喜欢的孩子。
20:15
When the boy男孩 is hungry饥饿,
the parents父母 say to the girl女孩,
403
1203080
2536
当儿子饿了的时候,
父母会对女儿说,
20:17
"Go and cook厨师 IndomieIndomie noodles面条
for your brother哥哥."
404
1205640
2216
“去给你哥哥煮碗面条。”
20:19
(Laughter笑声)
405
1207880
1216
(笑声)
20:21
Now, the daughter女儿 doesn't
particularly尤其 like to cook厨师 IndomieIndomie noodles面条,
406
1209120
3496
小女孩并不喜欢煮面条,
20:24
but she's a girl女孩, and so she has to.
407
1212640
2776
但是她是女孩,她不得不去做。
20:27
Now, what if the parents父母,
408
1215440
1776
现在,如果这对父母,
20:29
from the beginning开始,
409
1217240
1616
从一开始,
20:30
taught both the boy男孩 and the girl女孩
to cook厨师 IndomieIndomie?
410
1218880
3920
就让男孩女孩都去煮面条?
20:35
Cooking烹饪, by the way,
is a very useful有用 skill技能 for boys男孩 to have.
411
1223920
3016
顺带一提做饭对于男孩也是非常重要的技能。
20:38
I've never thought it made制作 sense
to leave离开 such这样 a crucial关键 thing,
412
1226960
4856
我从未想过将喂饱自己这样重要的能力
20:43
the ability能力 to nourish滋养 oneself自己 --
413
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1896
交由他人之手
20:45
(Laughter笑声)
414
1233760
1216
(笑声)
20:47
in the hands of others其他.
415
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1536
有什么意义。
20:48
(Applause掌声)
416
1236560
2920
(掌声)
20:53
I know a woman女人 who has the same相同 degree
and the same相同 job工作 as her husband丈夫.
417
1241760
3856
我认识一个女人跟她的丈夫
有同样的学历和工作,
20:57
When they get back from work,
she does most of the housework家务,
418
1245640
2896
下班回到家之后,是妻子承担了
绝大部分的家务,
21:00
which哪一个 I think is true真正 for many许多 marriages婚姻.
419
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2176
我想大部分婚姻里都是如此。
21:02
But what struck来袭 me about them
420
1250760
1736
但是真正让我震惊的,
21:04
was that whenever每当 her husband丈夫
changed the baby's宝宝 diaper尿布,
421
1252520
2976
是每当她的丈夫给孩子换尿布的时候,
21:07
she said "thank you" to him.
422
1255520
2280
妻子都要对丈夫说“谢谢你。”
21:11
Now, what if she saw this
as perfectly完美 normal正常 and natural自然
423
1259040
4416
现在,如果她觉得一切都是顺理成章的呢?
21:15
that he should, in fact事实,
care关心 for his child儿童?
424
1263480
3336
丈夫本来就需要照顾自己的孩子不是么?
21:18
(Laughter笑声)
425
1266840
1840
(笑声)
21:21
I'm trying to unlearn忘记
many许多 of the lessons教训 of gender性别
426
1269680
3496
我一直尝试摆脱我在成长过程中内化的
21:25
that I internalized内在 when I was growing生长 up.
427
1273200
2296
那些对性别的要求和预期。
21:27
But I sometimes有时 still feel very vulnerable弱势
in the face面对 of gender性别 expectations期望.
428
1275520
5056
但是有时候我依然觉得面对
性别预期时非常的脆弱。
21:32
The first time I taught
a writing写作 class in graduate毕业 school学校,
429
1280600
3000
当我第一次在一所中学教写作的时候,
21:36
I was worried担心.
430
1284360
1256
我很担心。
21:37
I wasn't worried担心
about the material材料 I would teach
431
1285640
2336
我不担心教学内容
21:40
because I was well-prepared早有准备,
432
1288000
1336
因为我准备的很充分
21:41
and I was going to teach
what I enjoy请享用 teaching教学.
433
1289360
2216
而且我要教的正好也是我非常喜欢的。
21:43
Instead代替, I was worried担心 about what to wear穿.
434
1291600
2080
我担心的是我要穿什么衣服。
21:46
I wanted to be taken采取 seriously认真地.
435
1294680
1600
我希望被严肃地对待。
21:49
I knew知道 that because I was female
436
1297480
1576
我知道仅仅因为我是女性,
21:51
I will automatically自动
have to prove证明 my worth价值.
437
1299080
3160
我就自然的需要证明自己的价值。
21:55
And I was worried担心
that if I looked看着 too feminine女人,
438
1303240
2256
同时我担心如果我穿得太女性化,
21:57
I would not be taken采取 seriously认真地.
439
1305520
1776
我会被人轻视。
21:59
I really wanted to wear穿
my shiny闪亮 lip gloss掩饰 and my girly少女的 skirt短裙,
440
1307320
4336
我真的很想涂闪闪的唇彩,
穿很女人的衬衫,
22:03
but I decided决定 not to.
441
1311680
1816
但是我决定算了。
22:05
Instead代替, I wore穿着 a very serious严重,
442
1313520
2376
相反的我穿了一件非常正式的
22:07
very manly男子气 and very ugly丑陋 suit适合.
443
1315920
2576
男性化的丑陋的西服。
22:10
(Laughter笑声)
444
1318520
1496
(笑声)
22:12
Because the sad伤心 truth真相 is
that when it comes to appearance出现
445
1320040
2696
因为可悲的真相是涉及到衣着时,
22:14
we start开始 off with men男人
as the standard标准, as the norm规范.
446
1322760
2600
我们将男人视为标准和典范。
22:17
If a man is getting得到 ready准备
for a business商业 meeting会议,
447
1325960
2336
如果一个男人准备好参加工作会议,
22:20
he doesn't worry担心
about looking too masculine男性
448
1328320
2136
他不需要担心穿着上是否够男子气
22:22
and therefore因此 not being存在 taken采取 for granted理所当然.
449
1330480
2496
因为别人本来就认可他。
22:25
If a woman女人 has to get ready准备
for business商业 meeting会议,
450
1333000
2496
当一个女人准备好参加工作会议,
22:27
she has to worry担心
about looking too feminine女人
451
1335520
2776
她需要担心是否穿得太女性化
22:30
and what it says and whether是否 or not
she will be taken采取 seriously认真地.
452
1338320
4280
需要担心别人是否因此轻视她。
22:36
I wish希望 I had not worn磨损的
that ugly丑陋 suit适合 that day.
453
1344000
2200
我希望我那天并没有穿那件丑陋的西服。
22:39
I've actually其实 banished放逐 it
from my closet壁橱, by the way.
454
1347440
3136
顺带一提我已经扔掉了那件西服。
22:42
Had I then the confidence置信度
that I have now to be myself,
455
1350600
4936
当年缺乏的自信,现在我已经有了,
22:47
my students学生们 would have benefited受益
even more from my teaching教学,
456
1355560
2936
我的学生可以从我这里学到更多,
22:50
because I would have been more comfortable自在
457
1358520
2056
因为我(在课堂上)更加的舒适放松
22:52
and more fully充分 and more truly myself.
458
1360600
2000
展现更加真实和完整的自我。
22:55
I have chosen选择 to no longer
be apologetic歉然 for my femaleness雌性
459
1363800
4016
我选择不再因为我的女性化
22:59
and for my femininity女人味.
460
1367840
1200
和女权主张而不安。
23:01
(Applause掌声)
461
1369680
3000
(掌声)
23:07
And I want to be respected尊敬
in all of my femaleness雌性
462
1375800
2856
而且我希望的是我的所有
女性特点都被尊重,
23:10
because I deserve值得 to be.
463
1378680
1560
因为我值得被尊重。
23:13
Gender性别 is not an easy简单
conversation会话 to have.
464
1381200
2440
性别问题谈论起来并不容易。
23:17
For both men男人 and women妇女,
465
1385080
1576
无论男人还是女人,
23:18
to bring带来 up gender性别 is sometimes有时
to encounter遭遇 almost几乎 immediate即时 resistance抵抗性.
466
1386680
3936
挑起性别话题有时候会遇到
条件反射式的反弹。
23:22
I can imagine想像 some people here
are actually其实 thinking思维,
467
1390640
3256
我能想象有些人实际上的想法是,
23:25
"Women妇女 too do sef海基会."
468
1393920
1920
“女人也是自私的。”
23:29
Some of the men男人 here might威力 be thinking思维,
469
1397520
2176
在座的某些男性可能会想,
23:31
"OK, all of this is interesting有趣,
470
1399720
1736
“好吧,听起来很有道理,”
23:33
but I don't think like that."
471
1401480
1560
“但是我不这么看。”
23:35
And that is part部分 of the problem问题.
472
1403960
2216
这是部分问题所在。
23:38
That many许多 men男人 do not
actively积极地 think about gender性别
473
1406200
2976
很多男人并没有主动的察觉到性别
23:41
or notice注意 gender性别
474
1409200
1496
或者意识到性别
23:42
is part部分 of the problem问题 of gender性别.
475
1410720
2016
是性别问题的一部分。
23:44
That many许多 men男人, say, like my friend朋友 Louis路易,
476
1412760
2656
很多男人,例如我的朋友Louis,
23:47
that everything is fine now.
477
1415440
1680
觉得现在一切都很完美。
23:50
And that many许多 men男人 do nothing to change更改 it.
478
1418160
2856
这使得很多男人对改变现状没有任何贡献。
23:53
If you are a man and you walk步行
into a restaurant餐厅 with a woman女人
479
1421040
2856
如果你是一个男人,带着一个女人,
走进一家餐馆,
23:55
and the waiter服务员 greets招呼 only you,
480
1423920
1680
如果服务生只跟你打招呼,
23:58
does it occur发生 to you to ask the waiter服务员,
481
1426400
2496
你有没有问过服务生,
24:00
"Why haven't没有 you greeted欢迎 her?"
482
1428920
1560
“为什么你不向她问好?”
24:05
Because gender性别 can be --
483
1433320
1496
因为性别可以——
24:06
(Laughter笑声)
484
1434840
2080
(笑声)
24:16
Actually其实, we may可能 repose休息
part部分 of a longer version of this talk.
485
1444880
4496
实际上我们如果有时间可以
继续扩展一下这段对话。
24:21
So, because gender性别 can be
a very uncomfortable不舒服 conversation会话 to have,
486
1449400
3576
因为性别问题谈论起来非常叫人不舒服,
24:25
there are very easy简单 ways方法 to close it,
to close the conversation会话.
487
1453000
3096
所以很容易话题就被中断了。
24:28
So some people will bring带来 up
evolutionary发展的 biology生物学 and apes类人猿,
488
1456120
4176
有些人可能会提到演化论和猿人,
24:32
how, you know, female apes类人猿
bow down to male apes类人猿
489
1460320
3656
讲起女猿人如何顺从男猿人
24:36
and that sort分类 of thing.
490
1464000
1240
以及如此种种。
24:37
But the point is we're not apes类人猿.
491
1465880
2056
但问题是我们不是猴子。
24:39
(Laughter笑声)
492
1467960
1416
(笑声)
24:41
(Applause掌声)
493
1469400
4000
(掌声)
24:46
Apes类人猿 also live生活 on trees树木
and have earthworms蚯蚓 for breakfast早餐,
494
1474160
4816
猿人长在树上,吃蚯蚓当早饭,
24:51
and we don't.
495
1479000
1200
我们不是。
24:53
Some people will say,
"Well, poor较差的 men男人 also have a hard time."
496
1481240
4000
有人会反驳说,“穷男人也很艰难。”
24:57
And this is true真正.
497
1485880
1200
话是不假。
24:59
But that is not what this --
498
1487920
1336
但是毫不相干——
25:01
(Laughter笑声)
499
1489280
1096
(笑声)
25:02
But this is not
what this conversation会话 is about.
500
1490400
2680
这跟我们谈论的性别问题完全无关。
25:06
Gender性别 and class
are different不同 forms形式 of oppression压迫.
501
1494480
3776
性别和社会等级是不同的被压抑的问题。
25:10
I actually其实 learned学到了 quite相当 a bit
about systems系统 of oppression压迫
502
1498280
3656
我实际上从过跟一个黑人男性的聊天
25:13
and how they can be blind to one another另一个
503
1501960
2456
发现了不同的被压抑的问题之间
25:16
by talking to black黑色 men男人.
504
1504440
1480
是完全无视对方存在的。
25:19
I was once一旦 talking
to a black黑色 man about gender性别
505
1507320
3176
我曾经跟一个黑人男性聊起来性别问题
25:22
and he said to me,
506
1510520
1376
他跟我说,
25:23
"Why do you have to say
'my“我 experience经验 as a woman'女人'?
507
1511920
3456
“为什么你们要谈论‘我做为女人的经历’?”
25:27
Why can't it be
508
1515400
1216
“为什么不去说”
25:28
'your experience经验 as a human人的 being'存在'?"
509
1516640
1880
“‘你做为人的经验’?”
25:31
Now, this was the same相同 man
510
1519840
1256
但是呢,同样这个男人
25:33
who would often经常 talk
about his experience经验 as a black黑色 man.
511
1521120
3000
却经常那自己的黑人身份说事儿。
25:39
Gender性别 matters事项.
512
1527360
1216
性别很重要。
25:40
Men男人 and women妇女
experience经验 the world世界 differently不同.
513
1528600
2496
男人女人对世界的认知是不同的。
25:43
Gender性别 colors颜色 the way
we experience经验 the world世界.
514
1531120
2816
性别让我们带着有色眼镜去看世界。
25:45
But we can change更改 that.
515
1533960
1400
但是我们可以改变。
25:48
Some people will say,
516
1536520
1936
有人会说,
25:50
"Oh, but women妇女 have the real真实 power功率,
517
1538480
2456
“嗯,但是女人有实际的权利,”
25:52
bottom底部 power功率."
518
1540960
1776
“屁股力量(bottom power)。”
25:54
And for non-Nigerians非尼日利亚人,
bottom底部 power功率 is an expression表达
519
1542760
2896
我来解释一下,屁股力量表的思是
25:57
which哪一个 I suppose假设 means手段
something like a woman女人
520
1545680
1856
类似一个女人利用她的性魅力
25:59
who uses使用 her sexuality性欲
to get favors好处 from men男人.
521
1547560
2760
吸引并影响一个男人的能力。
26:03
But bottom底部 power功率 is not power功率 at all.
522
1551200
2720
但是屁股力量根本不是什么力量。
26:08
Bottom底部 power功率 means手段 that a woman女人
523
1556400
2776
屁股力量意味着一个女人
26:11
simply只是 has a good root to tap龙头 into,
from time to time --
524
1559200
2896
只是有很好的能力——
一次又一次地——
26:14
somebody else's别人的 power功率.
525
1562120
1440
借助别人的力量。
26:16
And then, of course课程, we have to wonder奇迹
526
1564640
1856
然后,我们理所当然的担心
26:18
what happens发生 when
that somebody else其他 is in a bad mood心情,
527
1566520
2656
如果借助力量的那个人脾气很糟,
26:21
or sick生病
528
1569200
1376
或者生病了,
26:22
or impotent无能.
529
1570600
1200
或者是无能的。
26:24
(Laughter笑声)
530
1572280
3416
(笑声)
26:27
Some people will say that a woman女人
being存在 subordinate下属 to a man is our culture文化.
531
1575720
6240
有人说女人屈服于男人是我们的文化。
26:34
But culture文化 is constantly经常 changing改变.
532
1582640
1976
但是文化是在不断变化的。
26:36
I have beautiful美丽 twin双胞胎 nieces侄女
who are fifteen十五 and live生活 in Lagos拉各斯.
533
1584640
4656
我有两个美丽的侄女,
生活在拉各斯,刚满15岁。
26:41
If they had been born天生 a hundred years年份 ago
534
1589320
1960
如果她俩出生在一百年之前
26:44
they would have been
taken采取 away and killed杀害.
535
1592000
2136
她们会被丢弃并杀死。
26:46
Because it was our culture文化,
it was our culture文化 to kill twins双胞胎.
536
1594160
3040
因为过去我们的文化是要杀掉双胞胎的。
26:51
So what is the point of culture文化?
537
1599040
1720
所以文化的点在哪里?
26:53
I mean there's the decorative装饰,
538
1601480
1576
我的意思是文化包含了建筑装饰,
26:55
the dancing跳舞 ...
539
1603080
1616
舞蹈等等
26:56
but also, culture文化 really is about
preservation保存 and continuity连续性 of a people.
540
1604720
4616
但是同时,文化真实的意思是
对人的保护和传承
27:01
In my family家庭,
541
1609360
1256
在我家,
27:02
I am the child儿童 who is most interested有兴趣
in the story故事 of who we are,
542
1610640
3176
我是对于家族的历史,我们的文化传统,
27:05
in our traditions传统,
543
1613840
1256
以及我们先辈土地上的故事,
27:07
in the knowledge知识 about ancestral lands土地.
544
1615120
2176
最感兴趣的一个。
27:09
My brothers兄弟 are not as interested有兴趣 as I am.
545
1617320
2576
我的兄弟没有我这么有兴趣。
27:11
But I cannot不能 participate参加,
546
1619920
1440
但是我不能参加氏族会议,
27:14
I cannot不能 go to umunnaumunna meetings会议,
547
1622200
2016
我没法旁听,
27:16
I cannot不能 have a say.
548
1624240
1736
我也无权发言。
27:18
Because I'm female.
549
1626000
1200
因为我是女性。
27:20
Culture文化 does not make people,
550
1628080
2096
文化不会塑造人,
27:22
people make culture文化.
551
1630200
1400
人创造文化。
27:24
So if it is in fact事实 true真正 --
552
1632920
1776
如果这是真的——
27:26
(Applause掌声)
553
1634720
3496
(掌声)
27:30
So if it is in fact事实 true真正
554
1638240
1616
如果我们的文化中
27:31
that the full充分 humanity人性 of women妇女
is not our culture文化,
555
1639880
2896
真的没有把女性当作完整的人来看待,
27:34
then we must必须 make it our culture文化.
556
1642800
1720
那么我们需要创造这样的文化。
27:38
I think very often经常 of my dear friend朋友,
OkolomaOkoloma MaduewesiMaduewesi.
557
1646040
5616
我时常想起我的朋友,
Okoloma Maduewesi。
27:43
May可能 he and all the others其他
who passed通过 away in that SosolisoSosoliso crash紧急
558
1651680
3976
希望他和其他所有在 Sosoliso 空难中逝去的人
27:47
continue继续 to rest休息 in peace和平.
559
1655680
1480
能够安息。
27:50
He will always be remembered记得
by those of us who loved喜爱 him.
560
1658400
3080
他将被爱他的人永远铭记。
27:54
And he was right that day many许多 years年份 ago
when he called me a feminist女权主义者.
561
1662880
4496
是他第一次叫我女权主义者,
而且他说的没错。
27:59
I am a feminist女权主义者.
562
1667400
1240
我就是一个女权主义者。
28:01
And when I looked看着 up the word
in the dictionary字典 that day,
563
1669400
2696
那天我打开字典查阅这个词,
28:04
this is what it said:
564
1672120
1256
字典里这么写道:
28:05
"Feminist女性主义: a person
who believes相信 in the social社会, political政治
565
1673400
3376
“女权主义者:一个相信在性别上,社会地位、”
28:08
and economic经济 equality平等 of the sexes两性."
566
1676800
3696
“政治地位、经济地位平等的人。”
28:12
My great grandmother祖母,
from the stories故事 I've heard听说,
567
1680520
2936
我的曾外婆,从我听到的故事里,
28:15
was a feminist女权主义者.
568
1683480
1576
她是是女权主义者。
28:17
She ran away from the house of the man
she did not want to marry结婚
569
1685080
3376
她因为不想跟不喜欢的男人结婚而出走,
28:20
and ended结束 up marrying结婚
the man of her choice选择.
570
1688480
2080
并最终跟自己爱的男人结婚。
28:23
She refused拒绝, she protested抗议, she spoke up
571
1691160
2976
她抗拒,她斗争,她直言不讳
28:26
whenever每当 she felt she was being存在 deprived剥夺
of access访问, of land土地, that sort分类 of thing.
572
1694160
5296
每当她觉得自己的权利被剥夺时都是如此。
28:31
My great grandmother祖母
did not know that word "feminist女权主义者,"
573
1699480
3296
我的曾外婆那时候不知道“女权主义者”这个词。
28:34
but it doesn't mean that she wasn't one.
574
1702800
1920
但是她确实是女权主义者。
28:38
More of us should reclaim回收 that word.
575
1706160
1920
我们应该更多的把这个词汇用起来。
28:42
My own拥有 definition定义 of feminist女权主义者 is:
576
1710040
2400
我对女权主义的定义是:
28:45
"A feminist女权主义者 is a man or a woman女人
577
1713200
2376
“女权主义者是一个男人或女人,
28:47
who says --
578
1715600
1200
主张——
28:49
(Laughter笑声)
579
1717480
3136
(笑声)
28:52
(Applause掌声)
580
1720640
3760
(掌声)
28:58
A feminist女权主义者 is a man or a woman女人 who says,
581
1726600
3256
“女权主义者是一个男人或女人,主张
29:01
"Yes, there's a problem问题
with gender性别 as it is today今天,
582
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3296
“是的,当今社会性别问题依然存在
29:05
and we must必须 fix固定 it.
583
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1296
而且我们要修复它。
29:06
We must必须 do better."
584
1734520
1720
我们可以做得更好。”
29:09
The best最好 feminist女权主义者 I know
585
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2056
我知道的最优秀的女权主义者
29:12
is my brother哥哥 KeneKene.
586
1740040
1320
是我的哥哥Kene。
29:14
He's also a kind,
good-looking好看, lovely可爱 man,
587
1742920
3896
他是一个和善、英俊、可爱的男人,
29:18
and he's very masculine男性.
588
1746840
1760
而且他非常有男子气概。
29:21
Thank you.
589
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1216
谢谢。
29:22
(Applause掌声)
590
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4280
(掌声)
Translated by Wei Wu
Reviewed by Jiawei Ni

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Novelist
Inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature.

Why you should listen

In Nigeria, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's novel Half of a Yellow Sun has helped inspire new, cross-generational communication about the Biafran war. In this and in her other works, she seeks to instill dignity into the finest details of each character, whether poor, middle class or rich, exposing along the way the deep scars of colonialism in the African landscape.

Adichie's newest book, The Thing Around Your Neck, is a brilliant collection of stories about Nigerians struggling to cope with a corrupted context in their home country, and about the Nigerian immigrant experience.

Adichie builds on the literary tradition of Igbo literary giant Chinua Achebe—and when she found out that Achebe liked Half of a Yellow Sun, she says she cried for a whole day. What he said about her rings true: “We do not usually associate wisdom with beginners, but here is a new writer endowed with the gift of ancient storytellers.”

(Photo: Wani Olatunde) 

More profile about the speaker
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie | Speaker | TED.com