ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Novelist
Inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature.

Why you should listen

In Nigeria, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's novel Half of a Yellow Sun has helped inspire new, cross-generational communication about the Biafran war. In this and in her other works, she seeks to instill dignity into the finest details of each character, whether poor, middle class or rich, exposing along the way the deep scars of colonialism in the African landscape.

Adichie's newest book, The Thing Around Your Neck, is a brilliant collection of stories about Nigerians struggling to cope with a corrupted context in their home country, and about the Nigerian immigrant experience.

Adichie builds on the literary tradition of Igbo literary giant Chinua Achebe—and when she found out that Achebe liked Half of a Yellow Sun, she says she cried for a whole day. What he said about her rings true: “We do not usually associate wisdom with beginners, but here is a new writer endowed with the gift of ancient storytellers.”

(Photo: Wani Olatunde) 

More profile about the speaker
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie | Speaker | TED.com
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: We should all be feminists

琪瑪夢妲 · 妮戈琪 · 艾黛琪: 我們都應是女權主義者

Filmed:
4,033,919 views

傳統要我們教育女性要有野心,但又不能太有野心,要追求成功,但又不能太成功,否則就會威脅到男性。琪瑪夢妲.妮戈琪.艾黛琪以普世都在討論的女權主義作為演講的開頭,要求大家開始夢想和籌畫一個不同於以往的公平世界,使男性和女性都能真正過得更幸福。
- Novelist
Inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
So I would like to start開始 by telling告訴 you
about one of my greatest最大 friends朋友,
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今天我想從我最好的朋友開始講起,
他名子是奧克拉荷馬.瑪督韋希。
00:17
OkolomaOkoloma MaduewesiMaduewesi.
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00:19
OkolomaOkoloma lived生活 on my street
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奧克拉荷馬住在我街上,
00:21
and looked看著 after me like a big brother哥哥.
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像位大哥那樣照顧我。
如果我喜歡上一個男生,
我會徵詢奧克拉荷馬的意見。
00:23
If I liked喜歡 a boy男孩,
I would ask Okoloma'sOkoloma 的 opinion意見.
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00:28
OkolomaOkoloma died死亡 in the notorious臭名昭著
SosolisoSosoliso plane平面 crash緊急
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他死於奈及利亞惡名昭彰的
「索索利索航空公司」空難事件中,
00:32
in Nigeria尼日利亞 in December十二月 of 2005.
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時間是 2005 年 12 月。
00:35
Almost幾乎 exactly究竟 seven years年份 ago.
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至今已經快七年了。
00:38
OkolomaOkoloma was a person I could argue爭論 with,
laugh with and truly talk to.
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我跟他無所不談,
他是我真正可以談心的朋友。
00:43
He was also the first person
to call me a feminist女權主義者.
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也是第一個稱我為
「女權主義者」的人。
00:47
I was about fourteen十四,
we were at his house, arguing爭論.
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那時我 14 歲,
在他的家為某些事在爭論。
00:50
Both of us bristling林立的
with half bit knowledge知識
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為了書中的事爭得面紅耳赤,
彼此都是一知半解。
00:53
from books圖書 that we had read.
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00:55
I don't remember記得 what this
particular特定 argument論據 was about,
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我已忘了當時吵的是什麼,
00:59
but I remember記得
that as I argued爭論 and argued爭論,
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但是我記得在爭論過程中
他看著我說:
01:01
OkolomaOkoloma looked看著 at me and said,
"You know, you're a feminist女權主義者."
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「知道嗎?妳真的是個女權主義者!」
01:05
It was not a compliment讚揚.
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那不是誇獎。
01:07
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
01:08
I could tell from his tone,
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從他的語氣我就知道,
01:09
the same相同 tone that you would use
to say something like,
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大概類似於你們會用來說
01:12
"You're a supporter支持者 of terrorism恐怖主義."
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「妳是恐怖主義的支持者」那樣。
01:14
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
01:17
I did not know exactly究竟
what this word "feminist女權主義者" meant意味著,
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我當時不了解
「女權主義者」真正的意思,
01:20
and I did not want OkolomaOkoloma
to know that I did not know.
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更不想讓他知道我不懂那個字眼。
01:24
So I brushed it aside在旁邊,
and I continued繼續 to argue爭論.
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所以我沒接他的話,
繼續爭論之前的話。
01:27
And the first thing
I planned計劃 to do when I got home
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等我回家後做的第一件事,
01:29
was to look up the word
"feminist女權主義者" in the dictionary字典.
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就是查字典裡「女權主義者」的意思。
01:32
Now fast快速 forward前鋒 to some years年份 later後來,
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現在讓我把時間往後快轉幾年,
01:35
I wrote a novel小說 about a man
who among其中 other things beats節拍 his wife妻子
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我寫了一本描述
一個男人毆打老婆的書,
01:39
and whose誰的 story故事 doesn't end結束 very well.
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主角最後的下場不是很好。
01:42
While I was promoting促進
the novel小說 in Nigeria尼日利亞,
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當我在奈及利亞為小說進行宣傳時,
01:44
a journalist記者, a nice不錯, well-meaning善意 man,
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有位好心善良的記者,
01:47
told me he wanted to advise勸告 me.
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告訴我他想給我一點建議。
01:51
And for the Nigerians尼日利亞人 here,
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我想在座的奈及利亞人
01:52
I'm sure we're all familiar
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一定都很了解那種不請自來
01:54
with how quick our people are
to give unsolicited不請自來 advice忠告.
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熱於提供建議的人速度有多快;
02:01
He told me that people were saying
that my novel小說 was feminist女權主義者
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他說人們覺得我的小說是女權主義。
02:05
and his advice忠告 to me --
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並且他建議我,
02:06
and he was shaking發抖 his head
sadly可悲的是 as he spoke --
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搖著頭帶點悲傷的說,
02:10
was that I should never
call myself a feminist女權主義者
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我不應該再提及自己是個女權主義者,
02:12
because feminists女權主義者
are women婦女 who are unhappy不快樂
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因為女權主義者都是不開心的女人,
02:14
because they cannot不能 find husbands丈夫.
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因為她們找不到丈夫。
02:16
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
02:21
So I decided決定 to call myself
"a happy快樂 feminist女權主義者."
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所以我決定自稱為
「快樂的女權主義者」。
02:25
Then an academic學術的, a Nigerian尼日利亞 woman女人 told me
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然後又有一位奈及利亞的
女性學者告訴我,
02:27
that feminism女權主義 was not our culture文化
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女權主義不是我們的文化,
02:29
and that feminism女權主義 wasn't African非洲人,
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女權主義也不是非洲的。
02:31
and that I was calling調用 myself a feminist女權主義者
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她說我自稱女權主義者的原因
02:33
because I had been corrupted損壞
by "Western西 books圖書."
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是因為我被「西方的書」腐化了。
02:36
Which哪一個 amused me,
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她說的話讓我啼笑皆非,
02:37
because a lot of my early readings讀數
were decidedly果斷地 unfeministunfeminist.
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因為我以前讀的書
絕大多數與女權主義無關。
02:40
I think I must必須 have read every一切 single
Mills米爾斯 &amp功放; Boon福利 romance浪漫 published發表
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我在 16 歲以前幾乎已讀完
「米爾思·布恩出版社」的
每一本浪漫小說。
02:43
before I was sixteen十六.
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02:45
And each time I tried試著 to read those books圖書
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每當我閱讀那些關於
「女權主義寶典」書籍的時候,
02:47
called "the feminist女權主義者 classics,"
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我都會覺得很無聊,很難唸完。
02:49
I'd get bored無聊, and I really
struggled掙扎 to finish them.
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但是不管怎樣,
既然女權主義不是非洲的,
02:52
But anyway無論如何, since以來 feminism女權主義 was un-African聯合國-非洲,
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02:55
I decided決定 that I would now call myself
"a happy快樂 African非洲人 feminist女權主義者."
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所以現在我都自稱
是「快樂的非洲女權主義者」,
02:59
At some point I was a happy快樂 African非洲人
feminist女權主義者 who does not hate討厭 men男人
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過去某段日子我並不討厭男人,
我是快樂的非洲女權主義者,
03:04
and who likes喜歡 lip gloss掩飾
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也喜歡擦口紅,
03:05
and who wears穿 high heels腳跟
for herself她自己 but not for men男人.
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隨興為自己穿高跟鞋,
而不是穿給男人看。
03:08
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
03:09
Of course課程 a lot of this
was tongue-in-cheek舌頭在臉頰,
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當然上述許多都是玩笑話,
03:12
but that word feminist女權主義者 is so heavy
with baggage行李, negative baggage行李.
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但是「女權主義者」本身這個字眼
帶有很沉重、很負面的包袱。
03:16
You hate討厭 men男人, you hate討厭 bras胸罩,
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好比是「妳討厭男人,
妳不喜歡穿胸罩,
03:19
you hate討厭 African非洲人 culture文化,
that sort分類 of thing.
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妳厭惡非洲文化」那些觀念。
03:22
Now here's這裡的 a story故事 from my childhood童年.
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我要講一個小時候的故事。
03:25
When I was in primary school學校,
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當我上小學的時候,
03:26
my teacher老師 said at the beginning開始 of term術語
that she would give the class a test測試
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開學時我的老師說會有一個考試,
03:31
and whoever got the highest最高 score得分了
would be the class monitor監控.
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誰的分數最高誰就可以當班長。
03:34
Now, class monitor監控 was a big deal合同.
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你也知道,當班長是件了不起的事。
03:37
If you were a class monitor監控,
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假如你是班長,
03:39
you got to write down
the names of noisemakers發出大聲音 --
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你就可以把講話的名字登記下來。
03:41
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
03:43
which哪一個 was having enough足夠 power功率 of its own擁有.
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那個權力可大。
03:46
But my teacher老師 would also give you
a cane甘蔗 to hold保持 in your hand
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而且我的老師還會給班長拿根教鞭,
03:51
while you walk步行 around
and patrol巡邏 the class for noisemakers發出大聲音.
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讓他拿著教鞭在班上
走動監督搗亂的人。
03:55
Now, of course課程 you were not
actually其實 allowed允許 to use the cane甘蔗.
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當然,使用教鞭打人是不被允許的。
03:58
But it was an exciting扣人心弦 prospect展望
for the nine-year-old九十歲 me.
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不過對 9 歲的我實在很有激勵,
04:02
I very much wanted
to be the class monitor監控.
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因為我非常想當班長。
04:05
And I got the highest最高 score得分了 on the test測試.
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而且我也考上第一名的成績。
04:07
Then, to my surprise, my teacher老師 said
that the monitor監控 had to be a boy男孩.
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聽到老師說:
「班長必須是個男生」我非常訝異。
04:12
She had forgotten忘記了
to make that clear明確 earlier
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她早該在考試前就先說清楚才對,
但是她以為大家都知道。
04:14
because she assumed假定 it was ... obvious明顯.
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04:16
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
04:18
A boy男孩 had the second第二 highest最高
score得分了 on the test測試,
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成績第二名的是位男孩,
04:21
and he would be monitor監控.
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結果他變成了班長。
04:23
Now, what was even more
interesting有趣 about this
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更有意思的是:
04:26
is that the boy男孩 was a sweet, gentle溫和 soul靈魂
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那個男孩個性善良又溫和,
04:30
who had no interest利益
in patrolling巡邏 the class with the cane甘蔗,
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對於拿著教鞭在班上巡邏毫無興趣,
04:34
while I was full充分 of ambition志向 to do so.
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而我則充滿野心渴望當班長,
04:38
But I was female and he was male,
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但我是女生他是男生,
04:40
and so he became成為 the class monitor監控.
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所以他當上了班長。
04:43
And I've never forgotten忘記了 that incident事件.
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這件事情我一輩子忘不了。
04:46
I often經常 make the mistake錯誤 of thinking思維
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這是我常犯的錯誤想法:
04:48
that something that is obvious明顯 to me
is just as obvious明顯 to everyone大家 else其他.
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總是以為我懂的道理,別人應該也懂。
04:51
Now, take my dear friend朋友 Louis路易
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舉我的好朋友路易士為例。
04:53
for example.
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04:54
Louis路易 is a brilliant輝煌, progressive進步 man,
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他是位聰明上進的男人,
04:56
and we would have conversations對話
and he would tell me,
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會在我們聊天的時候說:
04:58
"I don't know what you mean by things
being存在 different不同 or harder更難 for women婦女.
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「我不懂妳為什麼總是說
事情對女人而言不同且更難。
05:02
Maybe in the past過去, but not now."
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也許過去情況是那樣,
但現在已經不同了。」
05:05
And I didn't understand理解 how Louis路易
could not see what seems似乎 so self-evident不言而喻.
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我不理解他怎麼會看不清楚
那些不言而喻的事情。
05:10
Then one evening晚間, in Lagos拉各斯,
Louis路易 and I went out with friends朋友.
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有天晚上我跟他
在拉哥斯市與朋友聚會。
05:14
And for people here
who are not familiar with Lagos拉各斯,
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在座可能有人不太熟悉拉哥斯市,
05:16
there's that wonderful精彩 Lagos'拉各斯' fixture夾具,
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這個城市有個特別美的地方,
05:18
the sprinkling of energetic有活力 men男人
who hang around outside establishments場所
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就是這裡的人
散佈在各處且充滿活力,
05:23
and very dramatically顯著
"help" you park公園 your car汽車.
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會很熱心地「幫」你泊車。
05:28
I was impressed印象深刻
with the particular特定 theatrics戲劇
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我那天傍晚對幫我們
找到停車位的男士,
05:31
of the man who found發現 us
a parking停車處 spot that evening晚間.
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戲劇性的舉止感到非常滿意。
05:34
And so as we were leaving離開,
I decided決定 to leave離開 him a tip小費.
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所以當我下車後,
決定給他一點小費。
05:38
I opened打開 my bag,
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於是我打開皮包,
05:40
put my hand inside my bag,
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把手伸進裡面,
05:41
brought out my money
that I had earned from doing my work,
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拿出我的錢,這是我工作賺來的錢。
05:45
and I gave it to the man.
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然後給了那個男士,
05:47
And he, this man who was
very grateful感激 and very happy快樂,
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這個男士很感激也很開心,
05:52
took the money from me,
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從我手裡把錢拿過去,
05:53
looked看著 across橫過 at Louis路易
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然後把轉向路易士說:
05:55
and said, "Thank you, sir先生!"
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「謝謝您,先生!」
05:57
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
06:03
Louis路易 looked看著 at me, surprised詫異,
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路易士很驚訝的看著我說:
06:06
and asked, "Why is he thanking表達感謝 me?
I didn't give him the money."
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「他為什麼謝我?又不是我給的錢。」
06:10
Then I saw realization實現
dawn黎明 on Louis'路易' face面對.
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然後我看到路易士
臉上恍然大悟的樣子。
06:15
The man believed相信 that whatever隨你 money I had
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那個男士一定是這樣想;
06:17
had ultimately最終 come from Louis路易.
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我的錢肯定都是來自身旁的路易士,
06:21
Because Louis路易 is a man.
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因為路易士是男的;
06:24
Men男人 and women婦女 are different不同.
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男人和女人是不同的。
06:26
We have different不同 hormones激素,
we have different不同 sexual有性 organs器官,
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我們有不同的荷爾蒙,
和不同的性器官,
06:29
we have different不同 biological生物 abilities能力.
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在生理能力上也各有差別。
06:31
Women婦女 can have babies嬰兒, men男人 can't.
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女人可以生孩子,男人不行。
06:34
At least最小 not yet然而.
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至少現在不行。
06:36
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
06:37
Men男人 have testosterone睾酮 and are
in general一般 physically物理 stronger than women婦女.
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男人有睾丸酮,
通常身體比女人強壯。
06:42
There's slightly more women婦女
than men男人 in the world世界,
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世界上女人的數量
比男人稍微多一些,
06:45
about 52 percent百分 of the world's世界
population人口 is female.
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全球的女性大概占了 52%,
06:48
But most of the positions位置 of power功率
and prestige聲望 are occupied佔據 by men男人.
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但有權力與聲望的
絕大部分都是男性。
06:52
The late晚了 Kenyan肯尼亞 Nobel諾貝爾 Peace和平 laureate得主,
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最近獲得諾貝爾和平獎的肯亞籍得主;
06:55
Wangari Maathai馬塔伊,
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旺加里.馬塔伊
06:56
put it simply只是 and well when she said:
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她闡述的非常簡明:
06:59
"The higher更高 you go,
the fewer women婦女 there are."
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「爬得越高,女性就越少。」
我們在最近的美國大選中不時聽到
「莉莉—萊柏特合理工資法」,
07:03
In the recent最近 US elections選舉 we kept不停 hearing聽力
of the Lilly禮來公司 Ledbetter萊德貝特 law,
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07:08
and if we go beyond the nicely很好
alliterative押頭韻 name名稱 of that law,
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如果深入去了解,
會發現它的命名原意,
07:12
it was really about a man and a woman女人
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分別指的是「一個男人和一個女人」;
07:14
doing the same相同 job工作,
being存在 equally一樣 qualified合格,
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兩者的工作內容和資格都一樣,
07:16
and the man being存在 paid支付 more
because he's a man.
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但是男的卻獲得較多的薪資,
原因只是因為他是「男性」。
07:20
So in the literal文字 way, men男人 rule規則 the world世界,
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所以實務上來看掌控世界的是男性,
07:23
and this made製作 sense a thousand years年份 ago
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而且數千年以來都是理所當然,
07:27
because human人的 beings眾生 lived生活 then in a world世界
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因為人類當初的生存環境,
07:30
in which哪一個 physical物理 strength強度 was
the most important重要 attribute屬性 for survival生存.
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體格強壯是當時首要的生存條件,
07:34
The physically物理 stronger person
was more likely容易 to lead,
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所以身體強壯的人才可能做領袖,
而男性身體普遍較為強壯。
07:39
and men男人, in general一般,
are physically物理 stronger.
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07:41
Of course課程 there are many許多 exceptions例外.
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當然也有很多例外。
07:43
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
07:45
But today今天 we live生活
in a vastly大大 different不同 world世界.
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但是今天我們生活在大不同的世界。
07:49
The person more likely容易 to lead
is not the physically物理 stronger person;
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體格強壯已不再是當領袖的條件,
07:53
it is the more creative創作的 person,
the more intelligent智能 person,
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而是富有創造力和智慧,
07:57
the more innovative創新 person,
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能夠創新的人,
07:59
and there are no hormones激素
for those attributes屬性.
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這些特質並非由荷爾蒙來決定。
08:02
A man is as likely容易 as a woman女人
to be intelligent智能,
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在智力上男性與女性都一樣,
08:05
to be creative創作的, to be innovative創新.
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在創造和革新上亦是如此。
08:07
We have evolved進化;
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我們已經進化,
08:09
but it seems似乎 to me that our ideas思路
of gender性別 had not evolved進化.
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但是性別觀念依舊是停滯不進。
08:13
Some weeks ago, I walked into a lobby前廳
of one of the best最好 Nigerian尼日利亞 hotels酒店.
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之前,我走進奈及利亞一家酒店大廳,
08:18
I thought about naming命名 the hotel旅館,
but I thought I probably大概 shouldn't不能.
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想一下要不要說出它的店名,算了。
08:21
And a guard守衛 at the entrance入口 stopped停止 me
and asked me annoying惱人的 questions問題,
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門口的警衛攔住我
並問了些惱人的事,
08:25
because their automatic自動 assumption假設 is
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因為他們很自然的認為,
08:27
that a Nigerian尼日利亞 female walking步行
into a hotel旅館 alone單獨 is a sex性別 worker工人.
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一個獨自進入酒店的奈及利亞女人
必定是個妓女。
08:33
And by the way,
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順便問一下,
08:34
why do these hotels酒店
focus焦點 on the ostensible表面的 supply供應
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為什麼這些酒店
只在乎提供沒用的用品,
08:37
rather than the demand需求 for sex性別 workers工人?
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何不乾脆直接提供性的服務呢?
08:41
In Lagos拉各斯 I cannot不能 go alone單獨
into many許多 "reputable信譽" bars酒吧 and clubs會所.
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拉哥斯很多富有聲譽的酒吧和俱樂部
我是無法單獨進入的。
08:46
They just don't let you in
if you're a woman女人 alone單獨,
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他們就是不讓女性單獨進去,
08:49
you have to be accompanied伴隨著 by a man.
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你必須有男人陪伴才能進去。
08:51
Each time I walk步行 into
a Nigerian尼日利亞 restaurant餐廳 with a man,
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每次我帶男性
進入奈及利亞的餐廳,
08:54
the waiter服務員 greets招呼 the man and ignores忽略 me.
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服務員只招呼男人,
卻忘了我的存在。
服務員是商品。
08:58
The waiters服務員 are products製品 --
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08:59
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
09:01
At this some women婦女
felt like, "Yes! I thought that!"
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女人對這點的反應好像是,
「是啊!我想也是!」
09:03
The waiters服務員 are products製品 of a society社會
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這些服務員是社會的產物,
09:05
that has taught them that men男人
are more important重要 than women婦女.
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社會教育他們男人比女人重要。
09:10
And I know that waiters服務員
don't intend打算 any harm危害.
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我也知道服務員無意冒犯我。
09:13
But it's one thing to know intellectually知性上
and quite相當 another另一個 to feel it emotionally感情上.
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但是理性上的理解是一回事,
情緒上的感覺卻是另一回事。
09:17
Each time they ignore忽視 me,
I feel invisible無形.
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每次我被忽視,
就讓我感到不存在一樣。
09:19
I feel upset煩亂.
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我感到很沮喪。
09:21
I want to tell them
that I am just as human人的 as the man,
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我想告訴他們
我跟男人一樣也是人,
09:25
that I'm just as worthy值得 of acknowledgment承認.
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我也值得被人感謝。
09:28
These are little things,
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這些都是小事,
09:30
but sometimes有時 it's the little things
that sting the most.
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但有時小事卻最令人傷痛。
09:33
And not long ago, I wrote an article文章
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不久之前我寫了篇文章,
09:35
about what it means手段
to be young年輕 and female in Lagos拉各斯,
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關於身為拉哥斯
年輕女性所代表的意義,
09:38
and the printers打印機 told me,
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然後印刷商告訴說:
09:41
"It was so angry憤怒."
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「那本書充滿怒氣哦。」
09:42
Of course課程 it was angry憤怒!
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當然真的是非常令人生氣的!
09:44
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
09:48
I am angry憤怒.
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我很生氣。
09:50
Gender性別 as it functions功能 today今天
is a grave injustice不公正.
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今日性別差異仍是非常不公平。
09:53
We should all be angry憤怒.
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我們都應該感到憤怒。
09:55
Anger憤怒 has a long history歷史
of bringing使 about positive change更改;
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歷史上憤怒曾帶來很多正面的改變。
09:59
but, in addition加成 to being存在 angry憤怒,
I'm also hopeful有希望.
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但是除了憤怒之外,我也懷著希望。
10:02
Because I believe deeply
in the ability能力 of human人的 beings眾生
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因為我深信人類的能力
10:05
to make and remake翻拍
themselves他們自己 for the better.
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可以為了更好的未來
而去創造和改造。
10:08
Gender性別 matters事項 everywhere到處 in the world世界,
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全世界的性別問題都至關重要,
10:10
but I want to focus焦點 on Nigeria尼日利亞
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但是我想聚焦於奈及利亞,
10:13
and on Africa非洲 in general一般,
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以及整個非洲,
10:15
because it is where I know,
and because it is where my heart is.
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因為這是我的家鄉,
也是我心之所向。
10:18
And I would like today今天 to ask
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今天我想要求大家
10:20
that we begin開始 to dream夢想 about
and plan計劃 for a different不同 world世界,
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開始夢想和籌畫一個不一樣的世界,
10:24
a fairer更公平 world世界,
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一個更公平的世界,
10:28
a world世界 of happier幸福 men男人 and happier幸福 women婦女
who are truer更真實 to themselves他們自己.
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一個男人和女人都比現在更開心
和更真實的世界。
10:32
And this is how to start開始:
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讓我們這樣開始做:
10:34
we must必須 raise提高 our daughters女兒 differently不同.
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我們要用不同的方式教育女兒,
10:36
We must必須 also raise提高 our sons兒子 differently不同.
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我們也要用不同的方式教育兒子。
10:40
We do a great disservice幫倒忙 to boys男孩
on how we raise提高 them;
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我們養育男孩的方式
大大地幫了他們倒忙,
10:43
we stifle窒息 the humanity人性 of boys男孩.
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抹煞了男孩的人性。
10:46
We define確定 masculinity陽剛之氣
in a very narrow狹窄 way,
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把「大丈夫氣概」定義得很狹隘,
10:49
masculinity陽剛之氣 becomes this hard, small cage
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把大丈夫氣概視為
一個堅固狹小的牢籠,
10:52
and we put boys男孩 inside the cage.
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再把男孩關進去。
10:54
We teach boys男孩 to be afraid害怕 of fear恐懼.
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我們教男孩害怕恐懼。
10:57
We teach boys男孩 to be afraid害怕
of weakness弱點, of vulnerability漏洞.
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我們教男孩害怕短處和脆弱。
11:02
We teach them to mask面具 their true真正 selves自我,
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讓男孩隱藏自己真實的一面,
11:04
because they have to be,
in Nigerian尼日利亞 speak說話, "hard man!"
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因為他們必須做一個
奈及利亞人所說的「硬漢」。
11:10
In secondary次要 school學校, a boy男孩 and a girl女孩,
both of them teenagers青少年,
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同年紀的中學男孩和女孩,
兩者都是十來歲的年輕人,
11:14
both of them with the same相同 amount
of pocket口袋 money, would go out
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兩者都有同樣多的零用錢在口袋裡,
11:18
and then the boy男孩
would be expected預期 always to pay工資,
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一起出去玩的時候,
總是讓男生付錢,
11:20
to prove證明 his masculinity陽剛之氣.
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來讓他展現男子氣概。
11:23
And yet然而 we wonder奇蹟 why boys男孩 are more likely容易
to steal money from their parents父母.
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而我們還在困惑
為何男生較會從家裡偷錢。
假如我們在養育男生和女生的時候
11:29
What if both boys男孩 and girls女孩 were raised上調
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11:32
not to link鏈接 masculinity陽剛之氣 with money?
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不把金錢和男子氣概
聯想在一起,會怎樣?
11:35
What if the attitude態度
was not "the boy男孩 has to pay工資"
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如果我們把「男生付錢」的態度改成
11:38
but rather "whoever has more should pay工資?"
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「誰錢多誰付錢」那麼又會怎樣?
11:42
Now, of course課程 because
of that historical歷史的 advantage優點,
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當然,由於歷史的優勢,
11:44
it is mostly大多 men男人 who will have more today今天,
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大多情況下男人會比較富有一些,
11:47
but if we start開始
raising提高 children孩子 differently不同,
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但是如果我們開始改變
教育孩子的方式,
11:50
then in fifty五十 years年份, in a hundred years年份,
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五十年後,一百年後,
11:52
boys男孩 will no longer have the pressure壓力
of having to prove證明 this masculinity陽剛之氣.
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屆時男人將不再被迫
去證明自己的男子氣概。
11:57
But by far the worst最差 thing we do to males男性,
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但到目前為止,
教導他們覺得自己必須要做硬漢,
12:00
by making製造 them feel
that they have to be hard,
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這件事最糟的結果是:
12:03
is that we leave離開 them
with very fragile脆弱 egos自我.
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我們留給他們一個非常脆弱的自我。
12:07
The more "hard man"
the man feels感覺 compelled被迫 to be,
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男人被迫成為硬漢的感覺越強烈,
12:11
the weaker較弱 his ego自我 is.
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他的自我就越脆弱。
12:14
And then we do a much greater更大
disservice幫倒忙 to girls女孩
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而我們又再用
更不親和的方式教育女孩,
12:18
because we raise提高 them
to cater迎合 to the fragile脆弱 egos自我 of men男人.
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因為我們教育她們
去迎合男人脆弱的自我,
12:22
We teach girls女孩 to shrink收縮 themselves他們自己,
to make themselves他們自己 smaller,
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我們教育女孩子收斂自己,
讓自己變得更卑微。
12:25
we say to girls女孩,
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對女生說:
12:27
"You can have ambition志向, but not too much."
244
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「妳可以有野心,但是不要過多。」
12:29
(Laughter笑聲)
245
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(笑聲)
12:31
"You should aim目標 to be successful成功,
but not too successful成功,
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「你要朝著成功努力,但不需要太成功,
12:33
otherwise除此以外 you would threaten威脅 the man."
247
741960
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否則妳會威脅到男人。」
12:36
If you are the breadwinner養家糊口的人
in your relationship關係 with a man,
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如果妳是負責養家糊口的人,
12:39
you have to pretend假裝 that you're not,
249
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妳就要假裝沒老公賺得多,
12:41
especially特別 in public上市,
250
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尤其是公開場合,
12:43
otherwise除此以外 you will emasculate閹割 him.
251
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不然會讓妳的男人喪失男子氣概。
但是如果我們質疑這個前提呢?
12:46
But what if we question
the premise前提 itself本身?
252
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12:49
Why should a woman's女人的 success成功
be a threat威脅 to a man?
253
757080
3320
為什麼一個女人事業有成
就會威脅到男人了呢?
12:53
What if we decide決定
to simply只是 dispose部署 of that word,
254
761200
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為什麼我們不直接拋棄那個字,
12:56
and I don't think there's an English英語 word
I dislike反感 more than "emasculation去雄."
255
764760
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那個我最不喜歡的英文字:「閹割」
13:02
A Nigerian尼日利亞 acquaintance熟人 once一旦 asked me
256
770720
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有位奈及利亞的舊識問我
13:05
if I was worried擔心 that men男人
would be intimidated嚇倒 by me.
257
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是否擔心自己會嚇到男人?
13:08
I was not worried擔心 at all.
258
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我根本不會擔心。
13:10
In fact事實, it had not occurred發生
to me to be worried擔心
259
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事實上我從未擔心過,
13:12
because a man who would
be intimidated嚇倒 by me
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因為會被我嚇到的男人,
13:14
is exactly究竟 the kind of man
I would have no interest利益 in.
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絕對不是我喜歡的菜。
13:17
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
13:18
(Applause掌聲)
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(掌聲)
13:26
But still I was really struck來襲 by this.
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但是我還是會對這件事受到打擊。
13:29
Because I'm female,
I'm expected預期 to aspire立志 to marriage婚姻;
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因為我是女性,
我被要求以婚姻為重。
13:33
I'm expected預期 to make my life choices選擇
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我被期待在做出人生抉擇的時候,
13:35
always keeping保持 in mind心神
that marriage婚姻 is the most important重要.
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總是要以婚姻為優先的考慮。
13:40
A marriage婚姻 can be a good thing;
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婚姻可以是好事;
13:42
it can be a source資源 of joy喜悅
and love and mutual相互 support支持.
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婚姻是愛與快樂、互相支援的來源。
13:46
But why do we teach girls女孩
to aspire立志 to marriage婚姻
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但是為何我們只教育女兒追求婚姻,
13:48
and we don't teach boys男孩 the same相同?
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而沒教育男孩同樣的婚姻觀?
我認識一個賣掉自己房子的女人,
13:52
I know a woman女人
who decided決定 to sell her house
272
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13:55
because she didn't want
to intimidate威嚇 a man who might威力 marry結婚 her.
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因為她不希望嚇到打算娶她的男人。
13:59
I know an unmarried未婚 woman女人 in Nigeria尼日利亞
who, when she goes to conferences會議,
274
827880
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我認識一位單身的奈及利亞的女性,
每次開會時,
手上都會戴枚結婚戒指,
14:04
wears穿 a wedding婚禮 ring
275
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14:05
because according根據 to her,
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因為她說:
14:07
she wants the other participants參與者
in the conference會議 to "give her respect尊重."
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她希望其他與會的人「尊重她」。
14:12
I know young年輕 women婦女
who are under so much pressure壓力
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我知道年輕女人的壓力都很大,
14:14
from family家庭, from friends朋友,
even from work to get married已婚,
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親朋好友甚至同儕都逼著她結婚,
14:18
and they're pushed
to make terrible可怕 choices選擇.
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結果她們被迫做出糟糕的選擇。
14:21
A woman女人 at a certain某些 age年齡 who is unmarried未婚,
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一個女人到了一定年齡還沒嫁出去,
14:24
our society社會 teaches her
to see it as a deep, personal個人 failure失敗.
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輿論會讓她覺得
這是極大的個人失敗。
14:29
And a man at a certain某些 age年齡
who is unmarried未婚,
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然而一個男人到了
一定年齡還沒有結婚,
14:31
we just think he hasn't有沒有 come around
to making製造 his pick.
284
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大家只會說他還沒遇到合適的對象。
14:34
(Laughter笑聲)
285
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(笑聲)
14:36
It's easy簡單 for us to say,
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我們都可以很輕鬆地說:
14:38
"Oh, but women婦女 can
just say no to all of this."
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「哦,但女人也可以拒絕這些啊。」
14:40
But the reality現實 is more difficult
and more complex複雜.
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但是現實比這更複雜、更困難。
14:43
We're all social社會 beings眾生.
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我們都是社會的一份子。
14:45
We internalize內在 ideas思路
from our socialization社會化.
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我們把社會的看法加以內化。
14:47
Even the language語言 we use
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甚至我們使用的語言,
14:49
in talking about marriage婚姻
and relationships關係 illustrates說明 this.
292
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當討論婚姻時,描述婚姻關係時,
14:53
The language語言 of marriage婚姻
is often經常 the language語言 of ownership所有權
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談的都是「所有權」的話語,
14:56
rather than the language語言 of partnership合夥.
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而非「夥伴關係」的語言。
14:58
We use the word "respect尊重"
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我們使用「尊重」這個字,
15:01
to mean something a woman女人 shows節目 a man
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來形容女人對男人的態度
15:04
but often經常 not something
a man shows節目 a woman女人.
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而常常不是男人對女人的態度。
15:08
Both men男人 and women婦女 in Nigeria尼日利亞 will say --
298
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奈及利亞的男女都會說
15:10
this is an expression表達
I'm very amused by --
299
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──這個說法讓我啼笑皆非──
15:12
"I did it for peace和平 in my marriage婚姻."
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「我這樣做是為了婚姻的和諧。」
但輪到男人這麼說的時候,
15:16
Now, when men男人 say it,
301
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15:18
it is usually平時 about something
that they should not be doing anyway無論如何.
302
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通常是指的是「不該」做的事。
15:21
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
15:23
Sometimes有時 they say it to their friends朋友,
304
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有時男人會對朋友那樣說,
15:25
it's something to say to their friends朋友
in a kind of fondly憐愛地 exasperated激怒 way,
305
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那些與朋友交談時的話題,
用一種既憐愛又惱怒的口氣,
15:29
you know, something that ultimately最終
proves證明 how masculine男性 they are,
306
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就是那種最能夠男子氣概的口吻,
多麼享受那種被人依賴與關愛的感覺。
15:33
how needed需要, how loved喜愛.
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1456
15:34
"Oh, my wife妻子 said
I can't go to the club俱樂部 every一切 night,
308
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2496
「呃,我妻子叫我不要每晚來俱樂部,
15:37
so for peace和平 in my marriage婚姻,
I do it only on weekends週末."
309
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2816
所以為了這個家我只能週末才來。」
15:39
(Laughter笑聲)
310
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(笑聲)
15:41
Now, when a woman女人 says,
"I did it for peace和平 in my marriage婚姻,"
311
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是當女人說;
「我是為了這個家」的時候,
15:45
she's usually平時 talking
about giving up a job工作,
312
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通常她指的是放棄一份工作,
15:49
a dream夢想,
313
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放棄夢想,
15:50
a career事業.
314
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放棄事業。
15:53
We teach females女性 that in relationships關係,
315
941080
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我們教育婦女為了婚姻,
15:55
compromise妥協 is what women婦女 do.
316
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妥協是女人的本分。
15:59
We raise提高 girls女孩 to see
each other as competitors競爭對手 --
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我們教導女兒們視彼此為競爭者
16:01
not for jobs工作 or for accomplishments成就,
which哪一個 I think can be a good thing,
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──不是為了工作或成就的競爭,
我視這種競爭為好事──
16:05
but for attention注意 of men男人.
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而是為了吸引男人。
16:07
We teach girls女孩 that they
cannot不能 be sexual有性 beings眾生
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我們告訴女孩子不能打扮得太火辣,
16:10
in the way that boys男孩 are.
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不可像男人那樣。
16:12
If we have sons兒子, we don't mind心神
knowing會心 about our sons'兒子“ girlfriends女友.
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如果是兒子的女朋友,
我們就不會介意。
16:16
But our daughters'女兒“ boyfriends男朋友? God forbid禁止.
323
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但如果是女兒的男朋友?
那可就上帝也不容了。
16:18
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
16:20
But of course課程 when the time is right,
325
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1816
當然,到了適合的時間,
16:22
we expect期望 those girls女孩 to bring帶來 back
the perfect完善 man to be their husbands丈夫.
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我們期盼女兒帶回來的
是一個可做她的丈夫的完美男人。
16:26
We police警察 girls女孩,
we praise讚美 girls女孩 for virginity童貞,
327
974240
3376
我們約束女兒保持童貞,
16:29
but we don't praise讚美 boys男孩 for virginity童貞,
328
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1936
但我們不要求男孩保持童貞。
16:31
and it's always made製作 me wonder奇蹟 how exactly究竟
this is supposed應該 to work out because ...
329
979600
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讓我好奇的是
這種事要怎樣才行得通呢?因為──
16:35
(Laughter笑聲)
330
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2327
(笑聲)
16:37
(Applause掌聲)
331
985880
2960
(掌聲)
16:45
I mean, the loss失利 of virginity童貞
is usually平時 a process處理 that involves涉及 ...
332
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3400
我的意思是
失去童貞的過程通常需要──
16:50
Recently最近 a young年輕 woman女人
was gang結夥 raped強姦 in a university大學 in Nigeria尼日利亞,
333
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4176
最近一名奈及利亞大學的女生被輪姦,
16:54
I think some of us know about that.
334
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1696
我想有些人可能聽說了。
16:56
And the response響應 of many許多 young年輕 Nigerians尼日利亞人,
both male and female,
335
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3256
然後很多奈及利亞的男女反應是,
16:59
was something along沿 the lines of this:
336
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2496
類似這樣:
17:02
"Yes, rape強姦 is wrong錯誤.
337
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2176
「沒錯,強姦是不對的。
17:04
But what is a girl女孩 doing
in a room房間 with four boys男孩?"
338
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3280
但是為什麼一個女孩
會和四個男生同處一室呢?」
17:08
Now, if we can forget忘記
the horrible可怕 inhumanity不人道 of that response響應,
339
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暫且不談那種可怕又殘酷的反應,
17:14
these Nigerians尼日利亞人 have been raised上調
to think of women婦女 as inherently本質 guilty有罪,
340
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奈及利亞人已被教育成
女人與生有罪,
17:19
and they have been raised上調
to expect期望 so little of men男人
341
1027319
3136
他們的也被養育成
不要對男性期望太高,
17:22
that the idea理念 of men男人 as savage野蠻人 beings眾生
without any control控制
342
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3695
男性做出失控不理性的獸行,
17:26
is somehow不知何故 acceptable接受.
343
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總是可以理解的。
17:28
We teach girls女孩 shame恥辱.
344
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2017
我們教育女性要懂得廉恥,
17:30
"Close your legs." "Cover yourself你自己."
345
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1880
「把腿夾緊」, 「別穿得那麼暴露」。
17:33
We make them feel
as though雖然 by being存在 born天生 female
346
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我們把女孩弄得好像身為女人,
17:35
they're already已經 guilty有罪 of something.
347
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2096
天生就是有罪的。
17:37
And so, girls女孩 grow增長 up to be women婦女
348
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2336
因此,女孩長大成女人後,
17:40
who cannot不能 see they have desire慾望.
349
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我們見不得她們有慾望。
17:42
They grow增長 up to be women婦女
who silence安靜 themselves他們自己.
350
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她們最好閉上嘴巴。
17:47
They grow增長 up to be women婦女
who cannot不能 say what they truly think,
351
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3416
她們長大後不能說出自己內心的話,
17:50
and they grow增長 up --
352
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1336
她們長大後──
17:51
and this is the worst最差 thing
we did to girls女孩 --
353
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2176
這是我們對女孩
做的最糟糕的事情──
17:54
they grow增長 up to be women婦女
who have turned轉身 pretense虛偽 into an art藝術 form形成.
354
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4136
她們長大後把這種虛偽當成是藝術。
17:58
(Applause掌聲)
355
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3840
(掌聲)
18:04
I know a woman女人 who hates domestic國內 work,
356
1072440
3416
我認識一個很討厭做家事的女人,
18:07
she just hates it,
357
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1496
她就是不喜歡做家事,
18:09
but she pretends假裝 that she likes喜歡 it,
358
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1720
但是她假裝成很喜歡,
18:12
because she's been taught
that to be "good wife妻子 material材料"
359
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4096
因為她從小被教育要當個「好老婆」,
18:16
she has to be --
to use that Nigerian尼日利亞 word --
360
1084320
2376
用奈及利亞的話來說,
她不得不表現得非常「居家」。
18:18
very "homely家常."
361
1086720
1480
18:21
And then she got married已婚,
362
1089440
1536
等到她結了婚,
18:23
and after a while her husband's丈夫 family家庭
began開始 to complain抱怨 that she had changed.
363
1091000
3816
沒多久她的婆家開始抱怨她人變了。
18:26
(Laughter笑聲)
364
1094840
1576
(笑聲)
18:28
Actually其實, she had not changed,
365
1096440
1456
實際上她沒變,
18:29
she just got tired of pretending假裝.
366
1097920
1920
她只是演得累了。
18:32
The problem問題 with gender性別,
367
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3136
關於「性別」的問題,
18:35
is that it prescribes規定 how we should be
368
1103880
2536
出在我們對它設下了
「應該是甚麼」的規定,
18:38
rather than recognizing認識 how we are.
369
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2000
而不是去理解我們「如何做」。
18:41
Now imagine想像 how much happier幸福 we would be,
370
1109400
2456
想像如果能做真正的自己
18:43
how much freer自由 to be
our true真正 individual個人 selves自我,
371
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3496
會有多快樂、多自由,
18:47
if we didn't have the weight重量
of gender性別 expectations期望.
372
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2640
免除掉性別帶來的包袱。
18:51
Boys男孩 and girls女孩 are
undeniably無可否認 different不同 biologically生物,
373
1119240
4776
男性和女性生理上
毫無疑問是有差異的,
18:56
but socialization社會化
exaggerates誇大 the differences分歧
374
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2976
但是社會誇大了這種差異性,
18:59
and then it becomes
a self-fulfilling自我實現 process處理.
375
1127040
2576
使它轉變成一種自我實現的過程。
19:01
Now, take cooking烹飪 for example.
376
1129640
2040
我們拿烹飪為例;
19:04
Today今天 women婦女 in general一般 are more likely容易
to do the housework家務 than men男人,
377
1132280
3496
現代的女人比男人
要負擔更多的家務,
19:07
the cooking烹飪 and cleaning清潔的.
378
1135800
1256
例如烹飪和打掃。
19:09
But why is that?
379
1137080
1576
但是為什麼是那樣呢?
19:10
Is it because women婦女
are born天生 with a cooking烹飪 gene基因?
380
1138680
2856
難不成女人生來就有烹飪的基因嗎?
19:13
(Laughter笑聲)
381
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1416
(笑聲)
19:15
Or because over years年份 they have been
socialized社會化 to see cooking烹飪 as their role角色?
382
1143000
4256
還是說經過多年社會化以後,
她們已經視烹飪為女性的天職?
19:19
Actually其實, I was going to say that maybe
women婦女 are born天生 with a cooking烹飪 gene基因,
383
1147280
3576
我一直以為女人的確具有烹飪的基因,
19:22
until直到 I remember記得 that the majority多數
of the famous著名 cooks廚師 in the world世界,
384
1150880
3456
直到我憶起世上知名的大廚,
19:26
whom we give the fancy幻想 title標題 of "chefs廚師,"
385
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2296
那些我們給他戴上「大廚」帽子的人,
19:28
are men男人.
386
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1200
卻多數是「男性」。
19:30
I used to look up to my grandmother祖母
387
1158960
1696
我過去非常敬仰我外婆,
19:32
who was a brilliant輝煌, brilliant輝煌 woman女人,
388
1160680
2056
她是位非常睿智的女人,
19:34
and wonder奇蹟 how she would have been
389
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1736
我很好奇在她成長過程中,
19:36
if she had the same相同 opportunities機會
as men男人 when she was growing生長 up.
390
1164520
3360
如果像男性有同樣的機會,她會怎麼樣。
19:40
Now today今天, there are
many許多 more opportunities機會 for women婦女
391
1168960
2576
今天的女人有了很多機會,
19:43
than there were
during my grandmother's祖母 time
392
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2256
比我外婆那一代還要多,
19:45
because of changes變化 in policy政策,
changes變化 in law,
393
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2616
歸功於政策和法律的改變,
19:48
all of which哪一個 are very important重要.
394
1176480
1576
所有改變都很重要。
19:50
But what matters事項 even more
is our attitude態度, our mindset心態,
395
1178080
4536
但是更重要的是我們的態度和思維,
19:54
what we believe
and what we value about gender性別.
396
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3296
對於性別的信念和價值觀。
19:57
What if in raising提高 children孩子
397
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2416
如果我們撫養孩子時,
多關注能力而不是性別?
20:00
we focus焦點 on ability能力 instead代替 of gender性別?
398
1188400
2800
如果我們關注於興趣而不是性別呢?
20:04
What if in raising提高 children孩子
we focus焦點 on interest利益 instead代替 of gender性別?
399
1192000
4120
20:09
I know a family家庭
who have a son兒子 and a daughter女兒,
400
1197000
2216
我認識的某一家人,有一男一女,
20:11
both of whom are brilliant輝煌 at school學校,
401
1199240
1896
兒女在學校表現都很好,
20:13
who are wonderful精彩, lovely可愛 children孩子.
402
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都是很討人喜歡的孩子。
20:15
When the boy男孩 is hungry飢餓,
the parents父母 say to the girl女孩,
403
1203080
2536
當兒子餓了的時候,
父母會對女兒說:
20:17
"Go and cook廚師 IndomieIndomie noodles麵條
for your brother哥哥."
404
1205640
2216
「去給你哥哥下碗印尼泡麵吃。」
20:19
(Laughter笑聲)
405
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1216
(笑聲)
20:21
Now, the daughter女兒 doesn't
particularly尤其 like to cook廚師 IndomieIndomie noodles麵條,
406
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3496
這個女兒並不特別喜歡印尼泡麵了,
20:24
but she's a girl女孩, and so she has to.
407
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2776
但是因為她是女孩,她不得不做。
20:27
Now, what if the parents父母,
408
1215440
1776
現在,如果這對父母,
20:29
from the beginning開始,
409
1217240
1616
從一開始,
教導兒子和女兒
都去學煮印尼式泡麵呢?
20:30
taught both the boy男孩 and the girl女孩
to cook廚師 IndomieIndomie?
410
1218880
3920
20:35
Cooking烹飪, by the way,
is a very useful有用 skill技能 for boys男孩 to have.
411
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3016
順便說一下;
煮飯對男生也是非常重要的技能。
20:38
I've never thought it made製作 sense
to leave離開 such這樣 a crucial關鍵 thing,
412
1226960
4856
我從來不覺得這樣有道理:
把餵飽一個人這樣重要的能力
20:43
the ability能力 to nourish滋養 oneself自己 --
413
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1896
交由他人代勞,
20:45
(Laughter笑聲)
414
1233760
1216
20:47
in the hands of others其他.
415
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1536
(笑聲)(掌聲)
20:48
(Applause掌聲)
416
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2920
20:53
I know a woman女人 who has the same相同 degree
and the same相同 job工作 as her husband丈夫.
417
1241760
3856
我認識一個女人,
學歷和工作跟她的丈夫都一樣,
20:57
When they get back from work,
she does most of the housework家務,
418
1245640
2896
下班回家後,大部分家務都由她來做,
21:00
which哪一個 I think is true真正 for many許多 marriages婚姻.
419
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2176
我相信大部分婚姻都是如此。
21:02
But what struck來襲 me about them
420
1250760
1736
但是真正讓我震驚的是;
21:04
was that whenever每當 her husband丈夫
changed the baby's寶寶 diaper尿布,
421
1252520
2976
每當她丈夫替孩子換尿片的時候,
21:07
she said "thank you" to him.
422
1255520
2280
她都會跟老公說「謝謝你。」
21:11
Now, what if she saw this
as perfectly完美 normal正常 and natural自然
423
1259040
4416
現在,如果她把這件事視為理所當然呢?
21:15
that he should, in fact事實,
care關心 for his child兒童?
424
1263480
3336
老公不是都應該照顧自己的孩子嗎?
21:18
(Laughter笑聲)
425
1266840
1840
(笑聲)
我一直想忘記有關性別差異的教導,
21:21
I'm trying to unlearn忘記
many許多 of the lessons教訓 of gender性別
426
1269680
3496
那些成長過程中
已然內化而帶來的教訓。
21:25
that I internalized內在 when I was growing生長 up.
427
1273200
2296
21:27
But I sometimes有時 still feel very vulnerable弱勢
in the face面對 of gender性別 expectations期望.
428
1275520
5056
但當面對性別期望時,
有時我仍會感到脆弱。
21:32
The first time I taught
a writing寫作 class in graduate畢業 school學校,
429
1280600
3000
當我第一次在研究所
指導寫作的時候,
21:36
I was worried擔心.
430
1284360
1256
我很擔心。
21:37
I wasn't worried擔心
about the material材料 I would teach
431
1285640
2336
但不是擔心教材的問題,
21:40
because I was well-prepared早有準備,
432
1288000
1336
因為我的教材準備得很充分,
21:41
and I was going to teach
what I enjoy請享用 teaching教學.
433
1289360
2216
而且我非常喜歡教書的工作。
21:43
Instead代替, I was worried擔心 about what to wear穿.
434
1291600
2080
讓我擔心的反而是
穿甚麼衣服的問題。
21:46
I wanted to be taken採取 seriously認真地.
435
1294680
1600
我很希望被嚴肅地看待。
21:49
I knew知道 that because I was female
436
1297480
1576
因為我知道自己是女性,
21:51
I will automatically自動
have to prove證明 my worth價值.
437
1299080
3160
我必須主動的證明自己的價值。
21:55
And I was worried擔心
that if I looked看著 too feminine女人,
438
1303240
2256
我擔心如果我穿得太女性化,
21:57
I would not be taken採取 seriously認真地.
439
1305520
1776
我會被人輕視。
21:59
I really wanted to wear穿
my shiny閃亮 lip gloss掩飾 and my girly少女的 skirt短裙,
440
1307320
4336
我真的很想擦上閃亮的唇膏,
和穿那些很有女人味的裙子,
22:03
but I decided決定 not to.
441
1311680
1816
但是我決定算了。
22:05
Instead代替, I wore穿著 a very serious嚴重,
442
1313520
2376
相反的我穿了一件非常正式的,
22:07
very manly男子氣 and very ugly醜陋 suit適合.
443
1315920
2576
很男性化、很醜陋的套裝。
22:10
(Laughter笑聲)
444
1318520
1496
(笑聲)
22:12
Because the sad傷心 truth真相 is
that when it comes to appearance出現
445
1320040
2696
因為可悲的是,當牽涉到衣著時,
22:14
we start開始 off with men男人
as the standard標準, as the norm規範.
446
1322760
2600
我們必須以男人的標準為規範。
22:17
If a man is getting得到 ready準備
for a business商業 meeting會議,
447
1325960
2336
如果是男人在準備參加業務會議,
22:20
he doesn't worry擔心
about looking too masculine男性
448
1328320
2136
他不需要擔心是否穿得太男性化
22:22
and therefore因此 not being存在 taken採取 for granted理所當然.
449
1330480
2496
以致被人佔便宜。
22:25
If a woman女人 has to get ready準備
for business商業 meeting會議,
450
1333000
2496
但是當女人準備參加業務會議時,
22:27
she has to worry擔心
about looking too feminine女人
451
1335520
2776
她必須注意不要穿得太女性化,
22:30
and what it says and whether是否 or not
she will be taken採取 seriously認真地.
452
1338320
4280
免得別人不嚴肅地看待她。
22:36
I wish希望 I had not worn磨損的
that ugly醜陋 suit適合 that day.
453
1344000
2200
我真希望那天沒穿那件醜陋的套裝。
順便提一下,我已經
從衣櫃取出那套裝扔了。
22:39
I've actually其實 banished放逐 it
from my closet壁櫥, by the way.
454
1347440
3136
22:42
Had I then the confidence置信度
that I have now to be myself,
455
1350600
4936
假如當時我有現在的自信
做真正的自己,
22:47
my students學生們 would have benefited受益
even more from my teaching教學,
456
1355560
2936
我的學生可以學得更多,
22:50
because I would have been more comfortable自在
457
1358520
2056
因為我會更自在、
22:52
and more fully充分 and more truly myself.
458
1360600
2000
更完整、更真實地呈現自我。
22:55
I have chosen選擇 to no longer
be apologetic歉然 for my femaleness雌性
459
1363800
4016
我已決定不再為我的女性化
和女權主張而道歉。
22:59
and for my femininity女人味.
460
1367840
1200
23:01
(Applause掌聲)
461
1369680
3000
(掌聲)
23:07
And I want to be respected尊敬
in all of my femaleness雌性
462
1375800
2856
而且我希望我的女性特點得到尊重,
23:10
because I deserve值得 to be.
463
1378680
1560
因為我值得被尊重。
23:13
Gender性別 is not an easy簡單
conversation會話 to have.
464
1381200
2440
性別差異不是很好談的話題,
23:17
For both men男人 and women婦女,
465
1385080
1576
無論男人或是女人,
23:18
to bring帶來 up gender性別 is sometimes有時
to encounter遭遇 almost幾乎 immediate即時 resistance抵抗性.
466
1386680
3936
挑起性別話題
有時會遭到立即的反彈。
23:22
I can imagine想像 some people here
are actually其實 thinking思維,
467
1390640
3256
我能想像有些人現在實際的想法
23:25
"Women婦女 too do sef海基會."
468
1393920
1920
是「女人是自作自受。」
在座的某些男性可能會想:
23:29
Some of the men男人 here might威力 be thinking思維,
469
1397520
2176
「好吧,聽起來很有道理,
23:31
"OK, all of this is interesting有趣,
470
1399720
1736
23:33
but I don't think like that."
471
1401480
1560
但是我不這麼想。」
23:35
And that is part部分 of the problem問題.
472
1403960
2216
而這就是部分問題之所在。
23:38
That many許多 men男人 do not
actively積極地 think about gender性別
473
1406200
2976
很多男人並不會主動思考性別的問題
23:41
or notice注意 gender性別
474
1409200
1496
或注意性別本身,
23:42
is part部分 of the problem問題 of gender性別.
475
1410720
2016
那就是性別問題的一部分。
23:44
That many許多 men男人, say, like my friend朋友 Louis路易,
476
1412760
2656
很多男人,就像我的朋友路易士,
23:47
that everything is fine now.
477
1415440
1680
認為現在一切都不錯啊。
23:50
And that many許多 men男人 do nothing to change更改 it.
478
1418160
2856
很多男人不想改變現狀。
23:53
If you are a man and you walk步行
into a restaurant餐廳 with a woman女人
479
1421040
2856
如果你是一個帶著
女人進入餐廳的男人,
23:55
and the waiter服務員 greets招呼 only you,
480
1423920
1680
如果服務員只跟你接待你,
23:58
does it occur發生 to you to ask the waiter服務員,
481
1426400
2496
你有沒有問過服務員:
24:00
"Why haven't沒有 you greeted歡迎 her?"
482
1428920
1560
「為什麼你沒招待她?」
24:05
Because gender性別 can be --
483
1433320
1496
因為性別可以──
24:06
(Laughter笑聲)
484
1434840
2080
(笑聲)
24:16
Actually其實, we may可能 repose休息
part部分 of a longer version of this talk.
485
1444880
4496
也許我們可以休息一下,
這場演講真的很長。
24:21
So, because gender性別 can be
a very uncomfortable不舒服 conversation會話 to have,
486
1449400
3576
因為談論性別問題
可能令人非常不舒服,
24:25
there are very easy簡單 ways方法 to close it,
to close the conversation會話.
487
1453000
3096
有一個簡單方法能化解它。
24:28
So some people will bring帶來 up
evolutionary發展的 biology生物學 and apes類人猿,
488
1456120
4176
有些人可能會提出進化論和猩猩,
24:32
how, you know, female apes類人猿
bow down to male apes類人猿
489
1460320
3656
你知道雌性猩猩
會向雄性猩猩彎腰低頭,
24:36
and that sort分類 of thing.
490
1464000
1240
諸如此類。
24:37
But the point is we're not apes類人猿.
491
1465880
2056
但重點是:我們不是猩猩。
24:39
(Laughter笑聲)
492
1467960
1416
(笑聲)
24:41
(Applause掌聲)
493
1469400
4000
(掌聲)
24:46
Apes類人猿 also live生活 on trees樹木
and have earthworms蚯蚓 for breakfast早餐,
494
1474160
4816
猩猩生活在樹上,吃蚯蚓當早飯,
24:51
and we don't.
495
1479000
1200
我們不然。
24:53
Some people will say,
"Well, poor較差的 men男人 also have a hard time."
496
1481240
4000
有人會反駁說:
「窮男人也過得很辛苦。」
24:57
And this is true真正.
497
1485880
1200
這的確是。
24:59
But that is not what this --
498
1487920
1336
但那與這毫不相干──
25:01
(Laughter笑聲)
499
1489280
1096
(笑聲)
25:02
But this is not
what this conversation會話 is about.
500
1490400
2680
但那不是我們在此討論的主題。
25:06
Gender性別 and class
are different不同 forms形式 of oppression壓迫.
501
1494480
3776
性別和社會階級
都是被壓抑的不同形式。
25:10
I actually其實 learned學到了 quite相當 a bit
about systems系統 of oppression壓迫
502
1498280
3656
實際上我學到許多
有關系統性壓抑的事,
25:13
and how they can be blind to one another另一個
503
1501960
2456
還有他們彼此如何無視對方的存在,
25:16
by talking to black黑色 men男人.
504
1504440
1480
這是經由與黑人男士們
對談而學來的。
25:19
I was once一旦 talking
to a black黑色 man about gender性別
505
1507320
3176
我曾跟一位黑人男性
談論性別的問題,
25:22
and he said to me,
506
1510520
1376
他問我:
25:23
"Why do you have to say
'my“我 experience經驗 as a woman'女人'?
507
1511920
3456
「妳為什麼一定要說『身為女人的經歷』?
25:27
Why can't it be
508
1515400
1216
為什麼不說妳『身為人類的經驗』?」
25:28
'your experience經驗 as a human人的 being'存在'?"
509
1516640
1880
25:31
Now, this was the same相同 man
510
1519840
1256
現在說這話的人
25:33
who would often經常 talk
about his experience經驗 as a black黑色 man.
511
1521120
3000
常提到自己身為黑人男人的事。
25:39
Gender性別 matters事項.
512
1527360
1216
性別有差異的!
25:40
Men男人 and women婦女
experience經驗 the world世界 differently不同.
513
1528600
2496
男人與女人對世界的體認是不同的。
25:43
Gender性別 colors顏色 the way
we experience經驗 the world世界.
514
1531120
2816
性別讓我們使用有色眼光去看世界。
25:45
But we can change更改 that.
515
1533960
1400
但是我們可以改變。
25:48
Some people will say,
516
1536520
1936
有人會說:
25:50
"Oh, but women婦女 have the real真實 power功率,
517
1538480
2456
「但是女人有真正的力量,
25:52
bottom底部 power功率."
518
1540960
1776
屁股的力量。」
25:54
And for non-Nigerians非奈及利亞,
bottom底部 power功率 is an expression表達
519
1542760
2896
我來解釋一下,
以奈及利亞的語言來表達,
25:57
which哪一個 I suppose假設 means手段
something like a woman女人
520
1545680
1856
「屁股力量」有點像
女人利用她的魅力
25:59
who uses使用 her sexuality性慾
to get favors好處 from men男人.
521
1547560
2760
吸引並從男人身上牟取利益的意思。
26:03
But bottom底部 power功率 is not power功率 at all.
522
1551200
2720
但是屁股力量根本不是什麼力量。
26:08
Bottom底部 power功率 means手段 that a woman女人
523
1556400
2776
屁股力量只是意味著一個女人
26:11
simply只是 has a good root to tap龍頭 into,
from time to time --
524
1559200
2896
有時候有借助別人力量的基礎而已。
26:14
somebody else's別人的 power功率.
525
1562120
1440
26:16
And then, of course課程, we have to wonder奇蹟
526
1564640
1856
然後,我們一定會好奇,
26:18
what happens發生 when
that somebody else其他 is in a bad mood心情,
527
1566520
2656
如果那個人情緒很差、
26:21
or sick生病
528
1569200
1376
生病,或是無能,會怎樣?
26:22
or impotent無能.
529
1570600
1200
26:24
(Laughter笑聲)
530
1572280
3416
(笑聲)
26:27
Some people will say that a woman女人
being存在 subordinate下屬 to a man is our culture文化.
531
1575720
6240
有人說女人屈服於男人
是我們的文化。
26:34
But culture文化 is constantly經常 changing改變.
532
1582640
1976
但是文化是不斷地改變的。
26:36
I have beautiful美麗 twin雙胞胎 nieces侄女
who are fifteen十五 and live生活 in Lagos拉各斯.
533
1584640
4656
我有兩個芳齡十五,美麗的
雙胞胎侄女住在拉哥斯。
26:41
If they had been born天生 a hundred years年份 ago
534
1589320
1960
如果她倆出生在一百年之前,
她們會被帶走並被殺掉。
26:44
they would have been
taken採取 away and killed殺害.
535
1592000
2136
26:46
Because it was our culture文化,
it was our culture文化 to kill twins雙胞胎.
536
1594160
3040
因為過去那是我們的文化,
殺死雙胞胎是我們過去的文化。
26:51
So what is the point of culture文化?
537
1599040
1720
那麼文化的重點在哪裡呢?
26:53
I mean there's the decorative裝飾,
538
1601480
1576
文化有很多的裝飾性,
26:55
the dancing跳舞 ...
539
1603080
1616
像是各種的舞蹈等等。
26:56
but also, culture文化 really is about
preservation保存 and continuity連續性 of a people.
540
1604720
4616
但此同時,
文化真正的意義是保護人和傳承。
27:01
In my family家庭,
541
1609360
1256
我是家中最有興趣聽人述說
27:02
I am the child兒童 who is most interested有興趣
in the story故事 of who we are,
542
1610640
3176
關於我們是誰、關於傳統,
27:05
in our traditions傳統,
543
1613840
1256
還有祖傳有關這片土地的知識。
27:07
in the knowledge知識 about ancestral lands土地.
544
1615120
2176
27:09
My brothers兄弟 are not as interested有興趣 as I am.
545
1617320
2576
我的兄弟不像我那麼有興趣。
可是我不能參與,
27:11
But I cannot不能 participate參加,
546
1619920
1440
27:14
I cannot不能 go to umunnaumunna meetings會議,
547
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2016
我不能參加族人會議,
我也無權發言。
27:16
I cannot不能 have a say.
548
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1736
因為我是女性。
27:18
Because I'm female.
549
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1200
27:20
Culture文化 does not make people,
550
1628080
2096
文化不會製造出人,
27:22
people make culture文化.
551
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1400
人類創造文化。
27:24
So if it is in fact事實 true真正 --
552
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1776
所以實際上真的是這樣,
27:26
(Applause掌聲)
553
1634720
3496
(掌聲)
27:30
So if it is in fact事實 true真正
554
1638240
1616
所以如果實際上真的是
女性的完整人權不屬於我們的文化,
27:31
that the full充分 humanity人性 of women婦女
is not our culture文化,
555
1639880
2896
那我們就必須把它變成我們的文化。
27:34
then we must必須 make it our culture文化.
556
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1720
我常常想起我的朋友
奧克拉荷馬.瑪督韋希。
27:38
I think very often經常 of my dear friend朋友,
OkolomaOkoloma MaduewesiMaduewesi.
557
1646040
5616
27:43
May可能 he and all the others其他
who passed通過 away in that SosolisoSosoliso crash緊急
558
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3976
祝福他和其他所有在
索索利索空難中逝去的人,
27:47
continue繼續 to rest休息 in peace和平.
559
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繼續得到安息。
27:50
He will always be remembered記得
by those of us who loved喜愛 him.
560
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3080
他永遠會被愛他的人懷念著。
他在幾年前的那一天是對的,
27:54
And he was right that day many許多 years年份 ago
when he called me a feminist女權主義者.
561
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當時他第一次說我是女權主義者。
27:59
I am a feminist女權主義者.
562
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我是一個女權主義者。
28:01
And when I looked看著 up the word
in the dictionary字典 that day,
563
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2696
那天我打開字典查閱這個字的時候,
28:04
this is what it said:
564
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字典裡這麼寫道:
28:05
"Feminist女性主義: a person
who believes相信 in the social社會, political政治
565
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3376
「女權主義者:
一個相信在社會、政治
28:08
and economic經濟 equality平等 of the sexes兩性."
566
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3696
和經濟上,性別生而平等的人。」
28:12
My great grandmother祖母,
from the stories故事 I've heard聽說,
567
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2936
在我聽到的故事裡,我的曾祖母
28:15
was a feminist女權主義者.
568
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1576
是位女權主義者。
28:17
She ran away from the house of the man
she did not want to marry結婚
569
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3376
她逃離不想嫁的那個男人的家,
最終與自己選擇的男人結婚。
28:20
and ended結束 up marrying結婚
the man of her choice選擇.
570
1688480
2080
28:23
She refused拒絕, she protested抗議, she spoke up
571
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2976
她拒絕、她抗議、她挺身而出,
每當她的土地權利被剝奪
28:26
whenever每當 she felt she was being存在 deprived剝奪
of access訪問, of land土地, that sort分類 of thing.
572
1694160
5296
或發生類似情形時,她都是如此。
28:31
My great grandmother祖母
did not know that word "feminist女權主義者,"
573
1699480
3296
我的曾祖母不曉得
「女權主義者」這個名詞,
28:34
but it doesn't mean that she wasn't one.
574
1702800
1920
但是那不代表她不是女權主義者。
28:38
More of us should reclaim回收 that word.
575
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1920
更多人應該再度主張這個詞彙。
28:42
My own擁有 definition定義 of feminist女權主義者 is:
576
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2400
我個人對女權主義的定義是:
28:45
"A feminist女權主義者 is a man or a woman女人
577
1713200
2376
「女權主義者是個男人或女人,
主張
28:47
who says --
578
1715600
1200
(笑聲)
28:49
(Laughter笑聲)
579
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3136
28:52
(Applause掌聲)
580
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3760
(掌聲)
28:58
A feminist女權主義者 is a man or a woman女人 who says,
581
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3256
「女權主義者是那些勇於說出:
『是的,當今社會性別問題依然存在,
29:01
"Yes, there's a problem問題
with gender性別 as it is today今天,
582
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3296
而且我們必須糾正它,
29:05
and we must必須 fix固定 it.
583
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1296
29:06
We must必須 do better."
584
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1720
我們必須做得更好』的男人或女人」。
29:09
The best最好 feminist女權主義者 I know
585
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我所認識最優秀的女權主義者
29:12
is my brother哥哥 KeneKene.
586
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1320
是我的哥哥肯尼。
29:14
He's also a kind,
good-looking好看, lovely可愛 man,
587
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3896
他也是個和善、瀟灑、可愛的男人,
而且他非常有男子氣概。
29:18
and he's very masculine男性.
588
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1760
29:21
Thank you.
589
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謝謝。
29:22
(Applause掌聲)
590
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(掌聲)
Translated by Ming Lee
Reviewed by Yanyan Hong

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Novelist
Inspired by Nigerian history and tragedies all but forgotten by recent generations of westerners, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novels and stories are jewels in the crown of diasporan literature.

Why you should listen

In Nigeria, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's novel Half of a Yellow Sun has helped inspire new, cross-generational communication about the Biafran war. In this and in her other works, she seeks to instill dignity into the finest details of each character, whether poor, middle class or rich, exposing along the way the deep scars of colonialism in the African landscape.

Adichie's newest book, The Thing Around Your Neck, is a brilliant collection of stories about Nigerians struggling to cope with a corrupted context in their home country, and about the Nigerian immigrant experience.

Adichie builds on the literary tradition of Igbo literary giant Chinua Achebe—and when she found out that Achebe liked Half of a Yellow Sun, she says she cried for a whole day. What he said about her rings true: “We do not usually associate wisdom with beginners, but here is a new writer endowed with the gift of ancient storytellers.”

(Photo: Wani Olatunde) 

More profile about the speaker
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie | Speaker | TED.com