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Ryan Martin: Why we get mad -- and why it's healthy
瑞安·马丁: 为什么我们会生气——为什么愤怒是健康的
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愤怒研究者瑞安·马丁（Ryan Martin）在他研究人们生气的原因以及其健康而有用的效果的研究中收获了许多。“你的愤怒存在于你的脑中…因为它提供给了你人类或者非人类的祖先一个进化中的优势”，他说，“这是你生命当中一种有力而健康的力量”。
Ryan Martin - Psychologist
Dr. Ryan Martin is the chair of the psychology department at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay. Full bio
Dr. Ryan Martin is the chair of the psychology department at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
Alright, so I want you to imagine that you
get a text from a friend, and it reads ...
get a text from a friend, and it reads ...
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让我们一起想象一下，
如果你的朋友发给你一条短信说，
如果你的朋友发给你一条短信说，
“你不会相信刚刚发生了什么！
我现在好生气！”
我现在好生气！”
00:18
"You will NOT believe what just happened.
I'm SO MAD right now!"
I'm SO MAD right now!"
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00:23
So you do the dutiful thing as a friend,
and you ask for details.
and you ask for details.
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所以你尽了作为一个朋友的义务，
询问具体的细节。
询问具体的细节。
然后他们告诉了你
他们在健身房，在工作场所
他们在健身房，在工作场所
00:26
And they tell you a story
about what happened to them
about what happened to them
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或昨晚的约会上所发生的事情。
00:29
at the gym or at work
or on their date last night.
or on their date last night.
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你认真聆听，并试图搞清楚
是什么让他们这么生气。
是什么让他们这么生气。
00:31
And you listen and you try
to understand why they're so mad.
to understand why they're so mad.
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00:35
Maybe even secretly judge
whether or not they should be so mad.
whether or not they should be so mad.
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也许你也在偷偷地评判
他们应不应该这么生气。
他们应不应该这么生气。
（笑声）
00:38
(Laughter)
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也许你甚至会提供一些建议。
00:41
And maybe you even offer some suggestions.
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在那个时刻，你们在做的事情
基本是我每天都要做的，
基本是我每天都要做的，
00:43
Now, in that moment, you are doing
essentially what I get to do every day,
essentially what I get to do every day,
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因为我是一个研究愤怒的人，
00:46
because I'm an anger researcher,
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作为一个愤怒研究者，
我花费了职业生涯大部分的时间——
我花费了职业生涯大部分的时间——
00:48
and as an anger researcher, I spend
a good part of my professional life --
a good part of my professional life --
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开什么玩笑，
也是我个人的大部分时间——
也是我个人的大部分时间——
00:52
who am I kidding, also my personal life --
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来研究人们为什么生气。
00:55
studying why people get mad.
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00:58
I study the types of thoughts
they have when they get mad,
they have when they get mad,
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我研究了他们生气时的所有想法，
我甚至还研究了当他们生气时的行为，
01:00
and I even study what they do
when they get mad,
when they get mad,
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不管是开始打架或者摔东西，
01:03
whether it's getting into fights
or breaking things,
or breaking things,
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或者是用全部大写的强调语气
对着网友大骂一通。
对着网友大骂一通。
01:05
or even yelling at people
in all caps on the internet.
in all caps on the internet.
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（笑声）
01:08
(Laughter)
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所以你可以想象
01:09
And as you can imagine,
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当人们知道我是一个愤怒研究者时，
01:10
when people hear I'm an anger researcher,
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他们想要跟我聊聊他们的愤怒，
01:12
they want to talk to me about their anger,
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他们想要跟我分享他们的愤怒故事。
01:14
they want to share with me
their anger stories.
their anger stories.
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这不是因为他们需要一个心理医师，
01:16
And it's not because
they need a therapist,
they need a therapist,
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虽然有时候的确是这样，
01:18
though that does sometimes happen,
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但事实上是因为愤怒是普遍的。
01:20
it's really because anger is universal.
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这是我们都能感觉到
而且都能理解的某种东西。
而且都能理解的某种东西。
01:22
It's something we all feel
and it's something they can relate to.
and it's something they can relate to.
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我们从出生的前几个月
就开始感受到愤怒了，
就开始感受到愤怒了，
01:25
We've been feeling it
since the first few months of life,
since the first few months of life,
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就比如当我们在无法得到我们
想要的东西时，我们抗议地哭泣，
想要的东西时，我们抗议地哭泣，
01:28
when we didn't get what we wanted
in our cries of protests,
in our cries of protests,
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就像是说“你为啥不拿拨浪鼓啊老爸？
01:31
things like, "What do you mean
you won't pick up the rattle, Dad,
you won't pick up the rattle, Dad,
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我要它！”
01:34
I want it!"
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（笑声）
01:36
(Laughter)
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01:38
We feel it throughout our teenage years,
as my mom can certainly attest to with me.
as my mom can certainly attest to with me.
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我们在青少年岁月中一直
在感受它，老妈可以给我作证。
在感受它，老妈可以给我作证。
对不住啦，老妈。
01:42
Sorry, Mom.
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01:44
We feel it to the very end.
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我们一直到生命的尽头
都一直在感受它。
都一直在感受它。
事实上，愤怒在我们人生中
一些最糟糕的时刻都如影随形。
一些最糟糕的时刻都如影随形。
01:46
In fact, anger has been with us
at some of the worst moments of our lives.
at some of the worst moments of our lives.
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01:50
It's a natural and expected
part of our grief.
part of our grief.
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这是在我们人生中一种
自然且可预见的部分。
自然且可预见的部分。
但是，它在我们人生中某些
最好的时刻也同样如影随形，
最好的时刻也同样如影随形，
01:53
But it's also been with us
in some of the best moments of our lives,
in some of the best moments of our lives,
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比如在婚礼或者假期等特殊场合中
01:56
with those special occasions
like weddings and vacations
like weddings and vacations
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通常会被一些时常发生的
意外坏了兴致——
意外坏了兴致——
01:59
often marred by these everyday
frustrations --
frustrations --
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比如坏天气，旅途中的延误——
02:02
bad weather, travel delays --
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在这些时候我们都感觉很糟糕，
02:03
that feel horrible in the moment,
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但是这些不愉快的事情
最终总会在事情好转后被忘记。
最终总会在事情好转后被忘记。
02:05
but then are ultimately forgotten
when things go OK.
when things go OK.
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02:09
I have a lot of conversations
with people about their anger
with people about their anger
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我和许多人进行了很多
关于他们的愤怒的谈话，
关于他们的愤怒的谈话，
在这些谈话之中我认识到，
在很多人心里，
在很多人心里，
02:12
and it's through those conversations
that I've learned that many people,
that I've learned that many people,
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我可以打赌，就现在
这个房间中的很多人，
这个房间中的很多人，
02:16
and I bet many people
in this room right now,
in this room right now,
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愤怒被你们看做是一个问题。
02:18
you see anger as a problem.
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你们认为愤怒干扰了你们的生活，
02:19
You see the way
it interferes in your life,
it interferes in your life,
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它破坏了人际关系，
甚至可能你们认为它很吓人。
甚至可能你们认为它很吓人。
02:21
the way it damages relationships,
maybe even the ways it's scary.
maybe even the ways it's scary.
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在我理解你们这些观点的同时，
我对愤怒的看法有一点不同，
我对愤怒的看法有一点不同，
02:24
And while I get all of that,
I see anger a little differently,
I see anger a little differently,
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今天，我要告诉你们
一些真的很重要的
一些真的很重要的
02:28
and today, I want to tell you
something really important
something really important
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关乎你们的愤怒的事情，是这样的：
02:30
about your anger, and it's this:
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愤怒是我们生活中
一种强大而又健康的力量。
一种强大而又健康的力量。
02:32
anger is a powerful and healthy
force in your life.
force in your life.
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你能感觉到它，这很好。
02:35
It's good that you feel it.
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你需要去感受它。
02:37
You need to feel it.
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02:39
But to understand all that,
we actually have to back up
we actually have to back up
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但是，若想要完全理解它，
我们需要退一步，
我们需要退一步，
先来谈一谈为什么我们会生气。
02:42
and talk about why we get mad
in the first place.
in the first place.
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这个话题的很大一部分要
追溯到一位愤怒研究者的著作。
追溯到一位愤怒研究者的著作。
02:44
A lot of this goes back to the work
of an anger researcher
of an anger researcher
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Jerry Deffenbacher博士
在1996年写了这本关于愤怒这方面的书，
在1996年写了这本关于愤怒这方面的书，
02:47
named Dr. Jerry Deffenbacher,
who wrote about this back in 1996
who wrote about this back in 1996
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在该书的一个章节里面他提到了
如何处理有问题的愤怒。
如何处理有问题的愤怒。
02:51
in a book chapter on how to deal
with problematic anger.
with problematic anger.
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对于我们中的大部分来说，，
我敢打赌你们中的大部分人
我敢打赌你们中的大部分人
02:54
Now, for most of us,
and I bet most of you,
and I bet most of you,
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对于愤怒的感觉是这样：
02:56
it feels as simple as this:
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当我被激怒时，我会变得很生气。
02:58
I get mad when I'm provoked.
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03:00
You hear it in the language people use.
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你会在人们所用的语言中感受到它。
他们会说这样的话，
03:02
They say things like,
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“那些人开车开得这么慢，
让我好生气！”
让我好生气！”
03:03
"It makes me so mad
when people drive this slow,"
when people drive this slow,"
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或者说，“我这么生气
是因为她又忘了把牛奶放回冰箱！”
是因为她又忘了把牛奶放回冰箱！”
03:06
or, "I got mad because she left
the milk out again."
the milk out again."
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我最爱这种说法，
03:10
Or my favorite,
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“我没有愤怒的问题——
只希望其他人不要再干预我的事了。”
只希望其他人不要再干预我的事了。”
03:11
"I don't have an anger problem --
people just need to stop messing with me."
people just need to stop messing with me."
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（笑声）
03:14
(Laughter)
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03:16
Now, in the spirit of better understanding
those types of provocations,
those types of provocations,
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回到现在，为了更好地理解
这些让人恼怒的类型，
这些让人恼怒的类型，
我问了很多人，包括
我的朋友，同事，甚至是家人，
我的朋友，同事，甚至是家人，
03:20
I ask a lot of people, including
my friends and colleagues and even family,
my friends and colleagues and even family,
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“什么事情能真的惹到你？
03:25
"What are the things
that really get to you?
that really get to you?
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什么能让你特别生气？”
03:27
What makes you mad?"
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顺便说一下，现在是一个很好的时机
03:28
By the way, now is a good time
to point out one of the advantages
to point out one of the advantages
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来指出作为一名
愤怒研究人员的一个优势，
愤怒研究人员的一个优势，
03:31
of being an anger researcher
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那就是我花了十多年的时间，
03:33
is that I've spent more than a decade
generating a comprehensive list
generating a comprehensive list
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列出了所有真正让
我的同事感到愤怒的事情。
我的同事感到愤怒的事情。
03:36
of all the things
that really irritate my colleagues.
that really irritate my colleagues.
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以防万一我要用到。
03:39
Just in case I need it.
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03:40
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
但他们所给出的答案十分有趣，
03:44
But their answers are fascinating,
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因为他们给出的答案是：
03:47
because they say things like,
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“当我喜欢的队伍输了我生气，”
03:49
"when my sports team loses,"
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“那些人吃饭吧唧嘴让我生气。”
03:51
"people who chew too loudly."
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顺带一提，这是十分普遍的答案。
03:53
That is surprisingly common, by the way.
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“那些人走路太慢让我生气”，
这是我的答案。
这是我的答案。
03:56
"People who walk too slowly,"
that one's mine.
that one's mine.
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03:59
And of course, "roundabouts."
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还有，“说话拐弯抹角让我生气”。
拐弯抹角——
04:01
Roundabouts --
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（笑声）
04:03
(Laughter)
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我可以坦诚的说，世界上没有一种愤怒
比得上对说话拐弯抹角的怒气！
比得上对说话拐弯抹角的怒气！
04:05
I can tell you honestly,
there is no rage like roundabout rage.
there is no rage like roundabout rage.
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（笑声）
04:08
(Laughter)
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04:11
Sometimes their answers
aren't minor at all.
aren't minor at all.
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有的时候他们的答案非常重要。
有时候他们的答案涉及到
种族歧视，性别歧视和霸凌，
种族歧视，性别歧视和霸凌，
04:13
Sometimes they talk
about racism and sexism and bullying
about racism and sexism and bullying
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还有环境破坏——这些都是我们
所要共同面对的全球性重要问题。
所要共同面对的全球性重要问题。
04:16
and environmental destruction --
big, global problems we all face.
big, global problems we all face.
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04:21
But sometimes,
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但有时候，
他们的答案十分详细，
甚至详细得不同寻常。
甚至详细得不同寻常。
04:23
their answers are very specific,
maybe even oddly specific.
maybe even oddly specific.
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04:26
"That wet line you get across your shirt
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“当你一不小心靠在了
公共浴室的柜台上 ，
公共浴室的柜台上 ，
那条留在你衣服上的水渍
令人十分恼火。”
令人十分恼火。”
04:28
when you accidentally lean
against the counter of a public bathroom."
against the counter of a public bathroom."
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（笑声）
04:32
(Laughter)
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超级恶心，对不对？
04:33
Super gross, right?
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（笑声）
04:35
(Laughter)
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或者说“ U盘这东西，
只有两种方式插进去，
只有两种方式插进去，
04:37
Or "Flash drives: there's only
two ways to plug them in,
two ways to plug them in,
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为什么它老是要我试三次
才能插进去呢？”
才能插进去呢？”
04:40
so why does it always
take me three tries?"
take me three tries?"
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（笑声）
04:42
(Laughter)
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无论这些问题重要与否，
不管它详细与否，
不管它详细与否，
04:47
Now whether it's minor or major,
whether it's general or specific,
whether it's general or specific,
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我们都可以通过研究这些样本
04:50
we can look at these examples
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挖掘出一些共同的主题。
04:52
and we can tease out some common themes.
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我们在令人不愉快的情况下会生气，
04:55
We get angry in situations
that are unpleasant,
that are unpleasant,
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在感到不公时，在无法
达到目标的情况下会生气，
达到目标的情况下会生气，
04:58
that feel unfair,
where our goals are blocked,
where our goals are blocked,
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尤其是当这些都可以避免，
让我们感觉到无力时我们会生气。
让我们感觉到无力时我们会生气。
05:00
that could have been avoided,
and that leave us feeling powerless.
and that leave us feeling powerless.
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这就是愤怒的组成。
05:03
This is a recipe for anger.
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05:06
But you can also tell
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但是你也可以分辨出
愤怒也许不是我们在这些场景中
所感受到的唯一东西。
所感受到的唯一东西。
05:07
that anger is probably not the only thing
we're feeling in these situations.
we're feeling in these situations.
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05:11
Anger doesn't happen in a vacuum.
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愤怒不会凭空而来。
我们在感到害怕或者
伤心的同时会感到愤怒，
伤心的同时会感到愤怒，
05:13
We can feel angry at the same time
that we're scared or sad,
that we're scared or sad,
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或者当感受到一大堆其他情绪的同时。
05:16
or feeling a host of other emotions.
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但是要注意一点：
05:19
But here's the thing:
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这些刺激其实并不会让我们生气。
05:20
these provocations --
they aren't making us mad.
they aren't making us mad.
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至少不是唯一的原因，
05:23
At least not on their own,
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因为我们知道，
如果它们是生气的原因，
如果它们是生气的原因，
05:25
and we know that, because if they were,
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我们会一直因为同一件
事情而生气，但是我们并没有。
事情而生气，但是我们并没有。
05:26
we'd all get angry
over the same things, and we don't.
over the same things, and we don't.
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我生气的理由和你的不同，
05:30
The reasons I get angry are different
than the reasons you get angry,
than the reasons you get angry,
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所以一定有其它因素在起作用。
05:33
so there's got to be
something else going on.
something else going on.
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这些因素是什么呢？
05:35
What is that something else?
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在受到刺激的时候，
我们知道自己的行为和想法。
我们知道自己的行为和想法。
05:37
Well, we know what we're doing and feeling
at the moment of that provocation matters.
at the moment of that provocation matters.
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我们将这种状态称作
“预生气状态”——你饿吗？你累吗？
“预生气状态”——你饿吗？你累吗？
05:42
We call this the pre-anger state --
are you hungry, are you tired,
are you hungry, are you tired,
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你对其他事物感到焦虑吗？
你快要迟到了吗？
你快要迟到了吗？
05:46
are you anxious about something else,
are you running late for something?
are you running late for something?
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当你感受到了这些事情的时候，
05:49
When you're feeling those things,
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你会对这些刺激因素感觉更糟糕。
05:51
those provocations feel that much worse.
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05:54
But what matters most
is not the provocation,
is not the provocation,
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但是最重要的不是这些挑因素，
也不是“预生气状态”，而是这个：
05:57
it's not the pre-anger state, it's this:
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是我们如何去理解这些挑衅，
05:59
it's how we interpret that provocation,
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是我们在生活中如何去理解它。
06:01
it's how we make sense of it in our lives.
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当我们遭遇了一些事情的时候，
06:04
When something happens to us,
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我们首先会思考，这是好事还是坏事？
06:05
we first decide, is this good or bad?
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这是公平的吗？
是应该受到谴责和惩罚的吗？
是应该受到谴责和惩罚的吗？
06:08
Is it fair or unfair,
is it blameworthy, is it punishable?
is it blameworthy, is it punishable?
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06:12
That's primary appraisal,
it's when you evaluate the event itself.
it's when you evaluate the event itself.
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当你对这件事本身进行评估时，
这就是最原始的评估。
这就是最原始的评估。
我们基于人生的经历
去理解这件事情的意义，
去理解这件事情的意义，
06:16
We decide what it means
in the context of our lives
in the context of our lives
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并且只要我们完成这个过程，
就可以定义这件事情糟糕的程度。
就可以定义这件事情糟糕的程度。
06:19
and once we've done that,
we decide how bad it is.
we decide how bad it is.
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这是第二级的评估。
06:21
That's secondary appraisal.
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06:23
We say, "Is this the worst thing
that's ever happened,
that's ever happened,
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我们在考虑，“这是
有史以来最糟糕的事情吗？
有史以来最糟糕的事情吗？
我可以应付得了吗？”
06:26
or can I cope with this?
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06:28
Now, to illustrate that, I want you
to imagine you are driving somewhere.
to imagine you are driving somewhere.
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为了说明这一点，我想让大家
想象一下你正在开车去某个地方。
想象一下你正在开车去某个地方。
06:33
And before I go any further,
I should tell you,
I should tell you,
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我要先提醒你，
如果我是一个邪恶的天才，
06:35
if I were an evil genius
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而且我想创造一个
能让你恼怒的情境，
能让你恼怒的情境，
06:37
and I wanted to create a situation
that was going to make you mad,
that was going to make you mad,
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这个情境看起来会和开车很像。
06:40
that situation would look
a lot like driving.
a lot like driving.
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（笑声）
06:43
(Laughter)
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这是真的。
06:44
It's true.
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按照假设，你在去某个地方的路上，
06:45
You are, by definition,
on your way somewhere,
on your way somewhere,
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所以在途中所发生的一切——
堵车，其他司机，道路施工——
堵车，其他司机，道路施工——
06:47
so everything that happens -- traffic,
other drivers, road construction --
other drivers, road construction --
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都像是在阻碍你去往目的地。
06:52
it feels like it's blocking your goals.
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在路上也有很多明文规定的
或者约定俗成的规矩，
或者约定俗成的规矩，
06:54
There are all these written
and unwritten rules of the road,
and unwritten rules of the road,
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但这些规则都经常
在你面前被其他人违反，
在你面前被其他人违反，
06:57
and those rules are routinely violated
right in front of you,
right in front of you,
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违规后通常是没有后果的。
07:01
usually without consequence.
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谁在违反规则呢？
07:02
And who's violating those rules?
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不知名的其他人，
你永远不会再见第二次的人，
你永远不会再见第二次的人，
07:04
Anonymous others,
people you will never see again,
people you will never see again,
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很容易就让他们变成了
你怒气发泄的目标。
你怒气发泄的目标。
07:06
making them a very easy target
for your wrath.
for your wrath.
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（笑声）
07:10
(Laughter)
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所以，如果你正在开车
去某个地方，你会准备变得生气，
去某个地方，你会准备变得生气，
07:11
So you're driving somewhere,
thus teed up to be angry,
thus teed up to be angry,
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并且在你前面的那个人的
速度远远低于限速。
速度远远低于限速。
07:15
and the person in front of you
is driving well below the speed limit.
is driving well below the speed limit.
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07:20
And it's frustrating
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这很让人不满，
因为你真的不理解
他们为什么开得这么慢。
他们为什么开得这么慢。
07:21
because you can't really see
why they're driving so slow.
why they're driving so slow.
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这就是初始的评估。
07:24
That's primary appraisal.
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你关注到了这一件事，并且你已经
判断出了这是件坏事，值得被责备。
判断出了这是件坏事，值得被责备。
07:25
You've looked at this and you've said
it's bad and it's blameworthy.
it's bad and it's blameworthy.
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但你也可能判断这不是那么严重。
07:28
But maybe you also decide
it's not that big a deal.
it's not that big a deal.
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你不急，没关系。
07:31
You're not in a hurry, doesn't matter.
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这是第二级的评估——你不会生气。
07:33
That's secondary appraisal --
you don't get angry.
you don't get angry.
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07:37
But now imagine you're on your way
to a job interview.
to a job interview.
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但现在想象一下你在
去一个工作面试的路上。
去一个工作面试的路上。
07:41
What that person is doing,
it hasn't changed, right?
it hasn't changed, right?
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那个人行为并没有发生变化，对吗？
所以初级评估并没有变化，
还是坏的，还是值得责备的。
还是坏的，还是值得责备的。
07:44
So primary appraisal doesn't change;
still bad, still blameworthy.
still bad, still blameworthy.
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07:48
But your ability
to cope with it sure does.
to cope with it sure does.
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但是你去应对它的能力一定发生了变化。
因为突然之间，
07:51
Because all of a sudden,
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你就要在工作面试中迟到了。
07:52
you're going to be late
to that job interview.
to that job interview.
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突然之间，
07:54
All of a sudden,
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你可能得不到自己梦想的工作了，
07:55
you are not going to get your dream job,
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那个能够给你一沓又一沓钱的工作啊。
07:57
the one that was going to give you
piles and piles of money.
piles and piles of money.
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（笑声）
08:00
(Laughter)
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其他人将要拿到这份工作了，
08:01
Somebody else is going to get
your dream job
your dream job
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然后你就要破产了。
08:04
and you're going to be broke.
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你就要成为穷苦人家了。
08:05
You're going to be destitute.
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08:07
Might as well stop now, turn around,
move in with your parents.
move in with your parents.
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也许要现在停下来，转身回去，
和你的爸妈一起住。
和你的爸妈一起住。
（笑声）
08:10
(Laughter)
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为什么呢？
08:12
Why?
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“因为这个在我前面慢慢开的人。
08:14
"Because of this person in front of me.
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他不是人啊，是个魔鬼啊！”
08:15
This is not a person, this is a monster."
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（笑声）
08:17
(Laughter)
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1000
08:18
And this monster is here
just to ruin your life.
just to ruin your life.
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而且这个怪兽的出现
就是为了毁掉你的生活。
就是为了毁掉你的生活。
（笑声）
08:22
(Laughter)
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这个思考的过程
08:23
Now that thought process,
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叫做灾难化，它是我们把事情
做到最糟糕的情况。
做到最糟糕的情况。
08:25
it's called catastrophizing,
the one where we make the worst of things.
the one where we make the worst of things.
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并且它是我们所知道的
与长期愤怒联系在一起的
与长期愤怒联系在一起的
08:30
And it's one of the primary
types of thoughts that we know
types of thoughts that we know
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主要思考方式之一。
08:33
is associated with chronic anger.
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但还有其他几种类型。
08:34
But there's a couple of others.
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比如，错误归因：
08:37
Misattributing causation.
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愤怒的人们常常责备毫不相关的事情。
08:38
Angry people tend to put blame
where it doesn't belong.
where it doesn't belong.
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不仅仅是针对人，
08:41
Not just on people,
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也针对无生命的物体上。
08:43
but actually inanimate objects as well.
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如果你觉得这听起来很可笑，
08:45
And if you think that sound ridiculous,
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1889
想想上次你丢了
车钥匙的时候，你说
车钥匙的时候，你说
08:47
think about the last time
you lost your car keys and you said,
you lost your car keys and you said,
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“车钥匙滚哪去了？”
08:50
"Where did those car keys go?"
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因为你知道它们是自己走丢的。
08:51
Because you know
they ran off on their own.
they ran off on their own.
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（笑声）
08:53
(Laughter)
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愤怒的人们倾向于过度归纳，
他们用一些像“经常”
他们用一些像“经常”
08:56
They tend to overgeneralize,
they use words like "always,"
they use words like "always,"
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“从不”，“每一次都”，
“这永远都发生在我身上”，
“这永远都发生在我身上”，
08:59
"never," "every,"
"this always happens to me,"
"this always happens to me,"
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“我从来得不到我要的”
09:02
"I never get what I want"
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或者“我今天遇到了路上
所有的红灯！”之类的话。
所有的红灯！”之类的话。
09:03
or "I hit every stoplight
on the way here today."
on the way here today."
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09:06
Demandingness: they put their own needs
ahead of the needs of others:
ahead of the needs of others:
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又比如，过度苛责：愤怒的人将他们
自己的需求放在他人需求之前：
自己的需求放在他人需求之前：
“我不关心这个人为什么开得这么慢，
09:10
"I don't care why this person
is driving so slow,
is driving so slow,
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他需要加速或者挪开，
这样我就可以按时参加面试！”
这样我就可以按时参加面试！”
09:12
they need to speed up or move over
so I can get to this job interview."
so I can get to this job interview."
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最后一个，给人贴使人激怒的标签。
09:16
And finally, inflammatory labeling.
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09:19
They call people fools, idiots, monsters,
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他们叫其他人傻子，蠢货，怪兽，
或者一大堆今天在演讲中
09:22
or a whole bunch of things
I've been told I'm not allowed to say
I've been told I'm not allowed to say
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我不能公开说的东西。
09:25
during this TED Talk.
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（笑声）
09:26
(Laughter)
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09:27
So for a long time,
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所以，在很长一段时间里，
心理学家把这些称为认知扭曲，
09:29
psychologists have referred to these
as cognitive distortions
as cognitive distortions
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或者甚至是不合逻辑的信念。
09:32
or even irrational beliefs.
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的确是啊，他们本身
有时候就是不合逻辑的。
有时候就是不合逻辑的。
09:34
And yeah, sometimes they are irrational.
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09:37
Maybe even most of the time.
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也许甚至是大多数时候。
但是有时候，他们的想法
又是完全符合逻辑的。
又是完全符合逻辑的。
09:39
But sometimes, these thoughts
are totally rational.
are totally rational.
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2682
09:42
There is unfairness in the world.
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世界上的确有不公平。
的确有残忍的，自私的人，
09:44
There are cruel, selfish people,
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1712
当我们被恶劣地对待时，
变得生气不仅仅是可以接受的，
变得生气不仅仅是可以接受的，
09:46
and it's not only OK to be angry
when we're treated poorly,
when we're treated poorly,
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更是正确的。
09:50
it's right to be angry
when we're treated poorly.
when we're treated poorly.
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3219
09:53
If there's one thing I want you
to remember from my talk today, it's this:
to remember from my talk today, it's this:
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今天我想让你们记住的就是：
你的愤怒作为一种情绪存在，
09:57
your anger exists in you as an emotion
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因为它为你的祖先——
不管是人类还是猿人——
不管是人类还是猿人——
10:01
because it offered your ancestors,
both human and nonhuman,
both human and nonhuman,
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提供了一个进化优势。
10:06
with an evolutionary advantage.
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10:08
Just as your fear alerts you to danger,
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就像你的害怕让你对
危险保持警惕一样，
危险保持警惕一样，
你的愤怒让你对
不公正的情况保持警惕。
不公正的情况保持警惕。
10:11
your anger alerts you to injustice.
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这是你的大脑告诉你，
10:14
It's one of the ways your brain
communicates to you
communicates to you
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你已经受够了的一种方式。
10:16
that you have had enough.
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10:19
What's more, it energizes you
to confront that injustice.
to confront that injustice.
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更重要的是，愤怒激发了
你去对抗这种不公正。
你去对抗这种不公正。
想一想上一次你很生气的时候。
10:22
Think for a second
about the last time you got mad.
about the last time you got mad.
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你的心跳加速。
10:25
Your heart rate increased.
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1738
你的呼吸加速，
你开始冒汗。
你开始冒汗。
10:27
Your breathing increased,
you started to sweat.
you started to sweat.
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10:30
That's your sympathetic nervous system,
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这是你的交感神经系统，
又被称为逃跑或战斗反应系统，
10:32
otherwise known
as your fight-or-flight system,
as your fight-or-flight system,
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正在介入来为你提供
在反应时所需要的能量。
在反应时所需要的能量。
10:35
kicking in to offer you
the energy you need to respond.
the energy you need to respond.
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3587
10:39
And that's just the stuff you noticed.
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627758
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这些只是你意识到的部分。
与此同时，你的消化系统放缓
来为你储存能量。
来为你储存能量。
10:41
At the same time, your digestive system
slowed down so you could conserve energy.
slowed down so you could conserve energy.
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这就是为什么你会口干。
10:46
That's why your mouth went dry.
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1874
你的血管扩张，
将血液输送到你的四肢。
将血液输送到你的四肢。
10:48
And your blood vessels dilated
to get blood to your extremities.
to get blood to your extremities.
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4044
这就是为什么你面红耳赤。
10:52
That's why your face went red.
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这些所有生理上的复杂变化
10:53
It's all part of this complex pattern
of physiological experiences
of physiological experiences
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延续到了今天，
10:57
that exist today
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因为它们帮助了你的祖先
10:58
because they helped your ancestors
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去和残酷的、不宜生存的
大自然力量抗争。
大自然力量抗争。
11:01
deal with cruel and unforgiving
forces of nature.
forces of nature.
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3333
11:04
And the problem is that the thing
your ancestors did
your ancestors did
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3231
但问题在于，你的祖先为了
应对愤怒以及
11:08
to deal with their anger,
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1273
战斗所做的事情，
11:09
to physically fight,
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1328
这些现在都不再是
合理或者合适的表现。
合理或者合适的表现。
11:10
they are no longer reasonable
or appropriate.
or appropriate.
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你不能而且也不应该在每一次
被挑衅的时候都强烈反击。
被挑衅的时候都强烈反击。
11:13
You can't and you shouldn't swing a club
every time you're provoked.
every time you're provoked.
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（笑声）
11:16
(Laughter)
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11:19
But here's the good news.
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但是好消息是，
你能做到
11:21
You are capable of something
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1424
某些祖先做不到的某些事情。
11:22
your nonhuman ancestors
weren't capable of.
weren't capable of.
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这就是管理你情绪的能力。
11:25
And that is the capacity
to regulate your emotions.
to regulate your emotions.
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11:29
Even when you want to lash out,
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就算你想要咆哮的时候，
你也可以让自己停下来，
并且将愤怒转换成
并且将愤怒转换成
11:30
you can stop yourself
and you can channel that anger
and you can channel that anger
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更有成效的东西。
11:33
into something more productive.
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11:36
So often when we talk about anger,
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所以当我们谈到愤怒的时候，
我们总是讲如何防止生气。
11:37
we talk about how to keep
from getting angry.
from getting angry.
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我们告诉其他人要冷静，放松。
11:40
We tell people to calm down or relax.
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我们甚至告诉他们要学会放手。
11:43
We even tell people to let it go.
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这些都建立在愤怒是不好的，
我们不应该去感受到它的假设上。
我们不应该去感受到它的假设上。
11:45
And all of that assumes that anger is bad
and that it's wrong to feel it.
and that it's wrong to feel it.
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11:50
But instead, I like to think
of anger as a motivator.
of anger as a motivator.
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其实不然，我倾向于
把愤怒想作一种动力。
把愤怒想作一种动力。
就像你觉得口渴
是你去喝水的动力，
是你去喝水的动力，
11:53
The same way your thirst
motivates you to get a drink of water,
motivates you to get a drink of water,
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就像你感觉到饿
是你去吃东西的动力，
是你去吃东西的动力，
11:56
the same way your hunger
motivates you to get a bite to eat,
motivates you to get a bite to eat,
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你的愤怒是你对
不正义做出反应的动力。
不正义做出反应的动力。
11:59
your anger can motivate you
to respond to injustice.
to respond to injustice.
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12:03
Because we don't have to think too hard
to find things we should be mad about.
to find things we should be mad about.
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正因为我们不用太费神
去找到让我们生气的东西。
去找到让我们生气的东西。
12:08
When we go back to the beginning,
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回到开始的话题，
的确，有些事情实在是太傻了，
不值得我们去生气。
不值得我们去生气。
12:09
yeah, some of those things, they're silly
and not worth getting angry over.
and not worth getting angry over.
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12:13
But racism, sexism, bullying,
environmental destruction,
environmental destruction,
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但是种族歧视，性别歧视，
霸凌，环境破坏，
霸凌，环境破坏，
这些事情是真实存在的，
也是是很可怕的，
也是是很可怕的，
12:16
those things are real,
those things are terrible,
those things are terrible,
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想要解决它们的唯一办法，
首先就是要生气，
首先就是要生气，
12:19
and the only way to fix them
is to get mad first
is to get mad first
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然后将这种愤怒转化为回击的力量。
12:22
and then channel that anger
into fighting back.
into fighting back.
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12:26
And you don't have to fight back
with aggression or hostility or violence.
with aggression or hostility or violence.
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并且，你不需要带着侵略性，
敌对性或者暴力去回击。
敌对性或者暴力去回击。
有很多办法来让你表达愤怒。
12:30
There are infinite ways
that you can express your anger.
that you can express your anger.
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你可以上街游行，
你可以写信给新闻社编辑，
你可以写信给新闻社编辑，
12:33
You can protest,
you can write letters to the editor,
you can write letters to the editor,
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你可以捐赠并为这个事业做志愿服务，
12:36
you can donate to
and volunteer for causes,
and volunteer for causes,
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你可以创作艺术，
你可以创作文学作品，
你可以创作文学作品，
12:38
you can create art,
you can create literature,
you can create literature,
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你可以创作音乐与诗歌，
12:41
you can create poetry and music,
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你可以创造一个互相关照的社区，
12:43
you can create a community
that cares for one another
that cares for one another
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不允许这些暴行发生。
12:46
and does not allow
those atrocities to happen.
those atrocities to happen.
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12:49
So the next time
you feel yourself getting angry,
you feel yourself getting angry,
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所以，下一次你感觉到你自己在生气时，
与其尝试平息愤怒，
12:52
instead of trying to turn it off,
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不如让我们一起倾听，
你的愤怒在告诉你什么。
你的愤怒在告诉你什么。
12:54
I hope you'll listen
to what that anger is telling you.
to what that anger is telling you.
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我希望大家能把这愤怒转换成
一些积极的，有生产力的情绪。
一些积极的，有生产力的情绪。
12:56
And then I hope you'll channel it
into something positive and productive.
into something positive and productive.
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13:00
Thank you.
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谢谢。
（掌声）
13:01
(Applause)
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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Ryan Martin - PsychologistDr. Ryan Martin is the chair of the psychology department at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay.
Why you should listen
Dr. Ryan Martin teaches courses on mental illness and emotion, including a course on anger. He researches and writes on healthy and unhealthy expressions of anger. His website, All the Rage, covers recent research on anger and provides anger management tips on how to handle anger most effectively. He also hosts the popular psychology podcast, Psychology and Stuff.
Martin was trained as a counseling psychologist at the University of Southern Mississippi, where he first started studying anger after earning his undergraduate degree in psychology with a minor in criminal justice from the University of St. Thomas. He has worked with clients -- angry and otherwis -- in a variety of settings including community mental health centers, college counseling centers and a VA Hospital.
Martin is a professor of psychology and an associate dean for the College of Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay. His work has been featured in the New York Times, NPR's Invisibilia podcast, BBC Radio's Digital Human and elsewhere. When he's not thinking about feelings, he runs and spends time with his family.
Ryan Martin | Speaker | TED.com