TEDxAtlanta
Sara Valencia Botto: When do kids start to care about other people's opinions?
Filmed:
Readability: 4.8
570,031 views
Drawing on her research into early childhood development, psychologist Sara Valencia Botto investigates when (and how) children begin to change their behaviors in the presence of others -- and explores what it means for the values we communicate in daily interactions. (Watch for cute footage of sneaky toddlers.)
Sara Valencia Botto - Psychologist
Sara Valencia Botto investigates when and how humans develop a concern for reputation. Full bio
Sara Valencia Botto investigates when and how humans develop a concern for reputation. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I'd like you to take a moment
0
262
1450
00:13
and consider what
you are wearing right now.
you are wearing right now.
1
1736
3000
00:17
I have a deep, philosophical
question for you.
question for you.
2
5675
2872
00:21
Why are we not all wearing
comfortable pajamas right now?
comfortable pajamas right now?
3
9079
2682
00:23
(Laughter)
4
11785
1000
00:24
Well, I'm a psychologist
and not a mind reader,
and not a mind reader,
5
12809
2538
00:27
although many people think
that's the same thing.
that's the same thing.
6
15371
2372
00:30
I can bet you that your response
is somewhere along the lines of,
is somewhere along the lines of,
7
18069
3667
00:33
"I'm expected to not wear pj's in public"
8
21760
2674
00:36
or "I don't want people
to think I am a slob."
to think I am a slob."
9
24458
2548
00:39
Either way, the fact that we all
chose to wear business casual clothing,
chose to wear business casual clothing,
10
27665
4051
00:43
as opposed to our favorite
pair of sweatpants,
pair of sweatpants,
11
31740
2151
00:45
is not a silly coincidence.
12
33915
1800
00:48
Instead, it reveals two
defining human characteristics.
defining human characteristics.
13
36311
3897
00:52
The first is that we are cognizant
of what other people value,
of what other people value,
14
40704
3595
00:56
like what they will approve
or disapprove of,
or disapprove of,
15
44323
2627
00:58
such as not wearing pj's
to these sorts of settings.
to these sorts of settings.
16
46974
3016
01:02
And two, we've readily used
this information to guide our behavior.
this information to guide our behavior.
17
50490
3714
01:07
Unlike many other species,
18
55149
1699
01:08
humans are prone to tailor their behavior
in the presence of others
in the presence of others
19
56872
4040
01:12
to garner approval.
20
60936
1379
01:14
We spend valuable time putting on make up,
21
62766
2318
01:17
choosing the right picture
and Instagram filter,
and Instagram filter,
22
65108
2904
01:20
and composing ideas
that will undoubtedly change the world
that will undoubtedly change the world
23
68036
2762
01:22
in 140 characters or less.
24
70822
1733
01:25
Clearly, our concern
with how other people will evaluate us
with how other people will evaluate us
25
73561
3024
01:28
is a big part of being human.
26
76609
1933
01:31
Despite this being
a big human trait, however,
a big human trait, however,
27
79530
2690
01:34
we know relatively little
about when and how
about when and how
28
82244
2770
01:37
we come to care
about the opinion of others.
about the opinion of others.
29
85038
2230
01:39
Now, this is a big question
that requires many studies.
that requires many studies.
30
87649
3200
01:43
But the first step
to uncovering this question
to uncovering this question
31
91269
2301
01:45
is to investigate when in development
32
93594
2175
01:47
we become sensitive
to others' evaluations.
to others' evaluations.
33
95793
2717
01:51
I have spent the past four years
at Emory University
at Emory University
34
99245
2880
01:54
investigating how an infant,
35
102149
2087
01:56
who has no problem walking
around the grocery store in her onesie,
around the grocery store in her onesie,
36
104260
4286
02:00
develops into an adult
that fears public speaking
that fears public speaking
37
108570
2851
02:03
for fear of being negatively judged.
38
111445
2101
02:06
(Laughter)
39
114472
1637
02:08
Now, this is usually a point
when people ask me,
when people ask me,
40
116133
2341
02:10
"How do you investigate
this question, exactly?
this question, exactly?
41
118498
2579
02:13
Infants can't talk, right?"
42
121101
1800
02:15
Well, if my husband
were up here right now,
were up here right now,
43
123530
2150
02:17
he would tell you that I interview babies,
44
125704
2667
02:20
because he would rather not say
that his wife experiments on children.
that his wife experiments on children.
45
128395
4432
02:24
(Laughter)
46
132851
2552
02:27
In reality, I design
experiments for children,
experiments for children,
47
135427
3231
02:30
usually in the form of games.
48
138682
1934
02:33
Developmental psychologist
Dr. Philippe Rochat and I
Dr. Philippe Rochat and I
49
141269
2745
02:36
designed a "game" called "The Robot Task"
50
144038
3111
02:39
to explore when children
would begin to be sensitive
would begin to be sensitive
51
147173
2643
02:41
to the evaluation of others.
52
149840
1867
02:44
Specifically, the robot task
captures when children, like adults,
captures when children, like adults,
53
152442
4492
02:48
strategically modify their behavior
when others are watching.
when others are watching.
54
156958
3135
02:53
To do this, we showed
14 to 24-month-old infants
14 to 24-month-old infants
55
161030
3214
02:56
how to activate a toy robot,
56
164268
2175
02:58
and importantly, we either
assigned a positive value,
assigned a positive value,
57
166467
2483
03:00
saying "Wow, isn't that great!"
58
168974
2246
03:03
or a negative value, saying,
"Oh, oh. Oops, oh no,"
"Oh, oh. Oops, oh no,"
59
171244
2674
03:05
after pressing the remote.
60
173942
1734
03:08
Following this toy demonstration,
61
176220
1577
03:09
we invited the infants
to play with the remote,
to play with the remote,
62
177821
2548
03:12
and then either watched them
63
180393
1422
03:13
or turned around and pretended
to read a magazine.
to read a magazine.
64
181839
2817
03:17
The idea was that if by 24 months,
65
185212
2429
03:19
children are indeed sensitive
to the evaluation of others,
to the evaluation of others,
66
187665
3277
03:22
then their button-pressing behavior
should be influenced
should be influenced
67
190966
2675
03:25
not only by whether or not
they're being watched
they're being watched
68
193665
2381
03:28
but also by the values
that the experimenter expressed
that the experimenter expressed
69
196070
2690
03:30
towards pressing the remote.
70
198784
1625
03:33
So for example,
71
201173
1206
03:34
we would expect children to play with
the positive remote significantly more
the positive remote significantly more
72
202403
3628
03:38
if they were being observed
73
206055
1365
03:39
but then choose to explore
the negative remote
the negative remote
74
207444
2143
03:41
once no one was watching.
75
209611
1667
03:43
To really capture this phenomenon,
we did three variations of the study.
we did three variations of the study.
76
211952
3460
03:47
Study one explored how infants
would engage with a novel toy
would engage with a novel toy
77
215871
3349
03:51
if there were no values
or instructions provided.
or instructions provided.
78
219244
2603
03:53
So we simply showed infants
how to activate the toy robot,
how to activate the toy robot,
79
221871
2730
03:56
but didn't assign any values,
80
224625
1587
03:58
and we also didn't tell them
that they could play with the remote,
that they could play with the remote,
81
226236
3111
04:01
providing them with a really
ambiguous situation.
ambiguous situation.
82
229371
2563
04:03
In study two,
83
231958
1183
04:05
we incorporated the two values,
a positive and a negative.
a positive and a negative.
84
233165
4595
04:10
And in the last study,
we had two experimenters and one remote.
we had two experimenters and one remote.
85
238609
3269
04:14
One experimenter expressed a negative
value towards pressing the remote,
value towards pressing the remote,
86
242196
3429
04:17
saying, "Yuck, the toy moved,"
87
245649
1507
04:19
while the other experimenter
expressed a positive value, saying,
expressed a positive value, saying,
88
247180
3017
04:22
"Yay, the toy moved."
89
250221
1400
04:23
And this is how the children reacted
to these three different scenarios.
to these three different scenarios.
90
251927
3531
04:27
So in study one, the ambiguous situation,
91
255482
2840
04:30
I'm currently watching the child.
92
258346
2411
04:32
She doesn't seem to be too interested
in pressing the remote.
in pressing the remote.
93
260781
2999
04:36
Once I turned around --
94
264622
1669
04:39
now she's ready to play.
95
267061
1611
04:40
(Laughter)
96
268696
1150
04:43
Currently, I'm not watching the child.
97
271903
1910
04:45
She's really focused.
98
273837
1151
04:47
I turn around.
99
275012
1150
04:49
(Laughter)
100
277588
1032
04:50
She wasn't doing anything, right?
101
278644
2200
04:55
In study two, it's the two remotes,
102
283596
1751
04:57
one with the positive
and one with the negative value.
and one with the negative value.
103
285371
2547
04:59
I'm currently observing the child.
104
287942
1667
05:01
And the orange remote
is a negative remote.
is a negative remote.
105
289633
2506
05:05
She's just looking around,
looking at me, hanging out.
looking at me, hanging out.
106
293259
2793
05:08
Then I turn around ...
107
296494
1267
05:12
(Laughter)
108
300081
1150
05:15
That's what she's going for.
109
303072
1867
05:19
I'm not watching the child.
110
307875
1537
05:21
He wants the mom to play with it, right?
111
309436
2244
05:23
Take a safer route.
112
311704
1267
05:25
I turn around ...
113
313736
1150
05:28
(Laughter)
114
316093
1667
05:29
He wasn't doing anything, either.
115
317784
2200
05:36
Yeah, he feels awkward.
116
324371
1532
05:37
(Laughter)
117
325927
1007
05:38
Everyone knows
that side-eyed glance, right?
that side-eyed glance, right?
118
326958
2119
05:41
Study three, the two
experimenters, one remote.
experimenters, one remote.
119
329807
2461
05:44
The experimenter that reacted negatively
towards pressing the remote
towards pressing the remote
120
332292
3261
05:47
is watching the child right now.
121
335577
1627
05:49
She feels a little awkward,
doesn't know what to do, relying on Mom.
doesn't know what to do, relying on Mom.
122
337228
4174
05:56
And then, she's going to turn around
123
344307
2421
05:58
so that the experimenter that expressed
a positive response is watching.
a positive response is watching.
124
346752
3467
06:04
Coast is clear -- now she's ready to play.
125
352109
2230
06:06
(Laughter)
126
354363
1063
06:07
So, as the data suggests,
127
355450
1905
06:09
we found that children's
button-pressing behavior
button-pressing behavior
128
357379
2333
06:11
was indeed influenced by the values
and the instructions of the experimenter.
and the instructions of the experimenter.
129
359736
4809
06:16
Because in study one,
children did not know
children did not know
130
364934
2541
06:19
what would be positively
or negatively evaluated,
or negatively evaluated,
131
367499
2888
06:22
they tended to take the safest route
132
370411
1944
06:24
and wait until I turned my back
to press the remote.
to press the remote.
133
372379
2680
06:27
Children in study two
134
375083
1388
06:28
chose to press the positive remote
significantly more when I was watching,
significantly more when I was watching,
135
376495
3802
06:32
but then once I turned my back,
136
380321
1571
06:33
they immediately took the negative remote
and started playing with it.
and started playing with it.
137
381916
3423
06:37
Importantly, in a control study,
138
385363
1590
06:38
where we removed
the different values of the remotes --
the different values of the remotes --
139
386977
2941
06:41
so we simply said, "Oh, wow"
after pressing either of the remotes --
after pressing either of the remotes --
140
389942
3238
06:45
children's button-pressing behavior
no longer differed across conditions,
no longer differed across conditions,
141
393204
3451
06:48
suggesting that it was really
the values that we gave the two remotes
the values that we gave the two remotes
142
396679
3731
06:52
that drove the behavior
in the previous study.
in the previous study.
143
400434
2730
06:55
Last but not least,
144
403188
1168
06:56
children in study three chose to press
a remote significantly more
a remote significantly more
145
404380
3800
07:00
when the experimenter that expressed
a positive value was watching,
a positive value was watching,
146
408204
3310
07:03
as opposed to the experimenter
that had expressed a negative value.
that had expressed a negative value.
147
411538
3267
07:07
Not coincidentally,
148
415553
1278
07:08
it is also around this age
that children begin to show embarrassment
that children begin to show embarrassment
149
416855
3643
07:12
in situations that might elicit
a negative evaluation,
a negative evaluation,
150
420522
2993
07:15
such as looking
at themselves in the mirror
at themselves in the mirror
151
423539
2007
07:17
and noticing a mark on their nose.
152
425570
1651
07:19
The equivalent of finding spinach
in your teeth, for adults.
in your teeth, for adults.
153
427245
2810
07:22
(Laughter)
154
430079
1174
07:23
So what can we say,
based on these findings?
based on these findings?
155
431277
3048
07:26
Besides the fact that babies
are actually really, really sneaky.
are actually really, really sneaky.
156
434349
3452
07:29
(Laughter)
157
437825
1056
07:30
From very early on, children, like adults,
158
438905
3293
07:34
are sensitive to the values
that we place on objects and behaviors.
that we place on objects and behaviors.
159
442222
3727
07:38
And importantly, they use these values
to guide their behavior.
to guide their behavior.
160
446354
3277
07:42
Whether we're aware of it or not,
161
450425
1707
07:44
we're constantly communicating values
to those around us.
to those around us.
162
452156
3010
07:47
Now, I don't mean values like
"be kind" or "don't steal,"
"be kind" or "don't steal,"
163
455522
3484
07:51
although those are certainly values.
164
459030
2111
07:53
I mean that we are constantly
showing others, specifically our children,
showing others, specifically our children,
165
461450
3603
07:57
what is likeable, valuable
and praiseworthy, and what is not.
and praiseworthy, and what is not.
166
465077
3682
08:01
And a lot of the times,
167
469307
1176
08:02
we actually do this
without even noticing it.
without even noticing it.
168
470507
2436
08:05
Psychologists study behavior
to explore the contents of the mind,
to explore the contents of the mind,
169
473601
3848
08:09
because our behavior
often reflects our beliefs,
often reflects our beliefs,
170
477473
2930
08:12
our values and our desires.
171
480427
2385
08:15
Here in Atlanta,
we all believe the same thing.
we all believe the same thing.
172
483471
2658
08:18
That Coke is better than Pepsi.
173
486963
1738
08:20
(Applause)
174
488725
1794
08:22
Now, this might have to do with the fact
that Coke was invented in Atlanta.
that Coke was invented in Atlanta.
175
490543
4740
08:27
But regardless,
176
495307
1174
08:28
this belief is expressed in the fact
that most people will chose to drink Coke.
that most people will chose to drink Coke.
177
496505
4287
08:33
In the same way,
178
501323
1372
08:34
we are communicating a value
179
502719
1868
08:36
when we mostly complement girls
180
504611
1523
08:38
for their pretty hair
or their pretty dress,
or their pretty dress,
181
506158
2506
08:40
but boys, for their intelligence.
182
508688
2389
08:43
Or when we chose to offer candy,
as opposed to nutritious food,
as opposed to nutritious food,
183
511101
3743
08:46
as a reward for good behavior.
184
514868
2030
08:49
Adults and children
are incredibly effective
are incredibly effective
185
517466
2742
08:52
at picking up values
from these subtle behaviors.
from these subtle behaviors.
186
520232
2495
08:55
And in turn, this ends up
shaping their own behavior.
shaping their own behavior.
187
523061
3505
08:59
The research I have shared with you today
188
527196
2238
09:01
suggests that this ability
emerges very early in development,
emerges very early in development,
189
529458
3540
09:05
before we can even utter
a complete sentence
a complete sentence
190
533022
2055
09:07
or are even potty-trained.
191
535101
1541
09:09
And it becomes an integral part
of who we grow up to be.
of who we grow up to be.
192
537014
3285
09:12
So before I go,
193
540942
1556
09:14
I'd like to invite you
to contemplate on the values
to contemplate on the values
194
542522
2873
09:17
that we broadcast
in day-to-day interactions,
in day-to-day interactions,
195
545419
2400
09:20
and how these values might be shaping
the behavior of those around you.
the behavior of those around you.
196
548125
3628
09:24
For example, what value
is being broadcasted
is being broadcasted
197
552222
3075
09:27
when we spend more time
smiling at our phone
smiling at our phone
198
555321
2743
09:30
than smiling with other people?
199
558088
1656
09:32
Likewise, consider how your own behavior
has been shaped by those around you,
has been shaped by those around you,
200
560683
3955
09:36
in ways you might not
have considered before.
have considered before.
201
564662
2398
09:39
To go back to our simple illustration,
202
567543
2087
09:41
do you really prefer Coke over Pepsi?
203
569654
2372
09:44
Or was this preference simply driven
by what others around you valued?
by what others around you valued?
204
572050
3466
09:48
Parents and teachers
certainly have the privilege
certainly have the privilege
205
576461
2754
09:51
to shape children's behavior.
206
579239
1934
09:53
But it is important to remember
207
581977
2191
09:56
that through the values we convey
in simple day-to-day interactions,
in simple day-to-day interactions,
208
584192
4259
10:00
we all have the power to shape
the behavior of those around us.
the behavior of those around us.
209
588475
3404
10:04
Thank you.
210
592451
1151
10:05
(Applause)
211
593626
4215
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Sara Valencia Botto - PsychologistSara Valencia Botto investigates when and how humans develop a concern for reputation.
Why you should listen
Sara Valencia Botto is a PhD candidate in the cognition and development program at Emory University, where she researches social-cognitive development in early childhood. Her recent publication on sensitivity to evaluation in toddlers has been featured in various outlets, including ABC News, the Huffington Post and other major international newspapers.
By exploring the developmental origins of reputation, Botto's research investigates when and how humans, unlike many other animals, care about what other people think. She designs experiments for children of 14 months to five years and studies when and how they begin to alter their behavior to garner positive evaluations from others. Her goal is to understand why humans come to care about their reputation as well as the factors that contribute to inter-individual differences.
Sara Valencia Botto | Speaker | TED.com