ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kate Bowler - Divinity professor, author
Kate Bowler is reexamining her perspective on the "prosperity gospel": the belief that good things happen to good people.

Why you should listen

After being diagnosed with stage IV cancer at age 35, Duke tenured professor and author Kate Bowler launched a national conversation about why it feels so difficult to speak frankly about suffering. She delves into how we live and cope with pain and suffering in Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved, a New York Times bestselling memoir, and in her popular podcast, Everything Happens. She is also the author of Blessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel, which received widespread media and academic attention as the first history of a movement based on divine promises of health, wealth and happiness. She has appeared on NPR and The TODAY Show, Amanpour & Company as well as in the New York Times, Washington Post and TIME Magazine. Her work has also been praised by a wide variety of religious and political publications, from liberal print media to conservative talk radio.

More profile about the speaker
Kate Bowler | Speaker | TED.com
TEDMED 2018

Kate Bowler: "Everything happens for a reason" -- and other lies I've loved

凯特·鲍勒: “一切都事出有因”——以及我喜爱的其它谎言

Filmed:
4,692,629 views

在生活最困难的时刻,你是如何坚持下去的?自从在35岁时被诊断出罹患四期癌症,凯特·鲍勒就一直在探寻这个问题的答案。在一场深远、令人心碎而又意外有趣的演讲中,她提供了一些答案——怀疑“一切都事出有因”的说法,并分享她来之不易的生命智慧:当你的生活发生了翻天覆地的变化时,要如何去适应。“我相信即使是在最黑暗的时刻,美好与爱依旧存在。“她如是说。
- Divinity professor, author
Kate Bowler is reexamining her perspective on the "prosperity gospel": the belief that good things happen to good people. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
There is some medical news新闻
that nobody没有人, absolutely绝对 nobody没有人,
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有一些医疗消息,
绝对没人希望听到。
00:16
is prepared准备 to hear.
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00:18
I certainly当然 wasn't.
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我当然也没有。
00:20
It was three years年份 ago
that I got a call in my office办公室
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三年前,我在办公室接到一通电话,
是我最近一次医疗扫描的结果。
00:24
with the test测试 results结果 of a recent最近 scan扫描.
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00:27
I was 35 and finally最后 living活的
the life I wanted.
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我当时35岁,终于过上了
梦寐以求的生活。
00:31
I married已婚 my high school学校 sweetheart爱人
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我嫁给了高中的恋人,
在数年的努力之后终于成功怀孕。
00:33
and had finally最后 gotten得到 pregnant
after years年份 of infertility不孕不育.
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00:38
And then suddenly突然 we had a Zach扎克,
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没过多久扎克就降临人世,
00:41
a perfect完善 one-year-old一岁 boy男孩/dinosaur恐龙,
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完美的一岁小男孩,有时却像个恐龙,
这要看他的心情。
00:44
depending根据 on his mood心情.
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00:46
And having a Zach扎克 suited合适的 me perfectly完美.
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拥有扎克的生活非常适合我。
00:51
I had gotten得到 the first job工作
I applied应用的 for in academia学术界,
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我从千人中脱颖而出,
第一次成功应聘了学校的岗位。
00:55
land土地 of a thousand crushed dreams.
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00:58
And there I was,
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当时,
00:59
working加工 at my dream梦想 job工作
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我做着梦想中的工作,
身边陪伴的是我的小孩,
01:01
with my little baby宝宝
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01:03
and the man I had imported进口 from Canada加拿大.
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和我从加拿大“进口”的丈夫。
01:06
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
但数月前,我开始感觉胃疼,
01:07
But a few少数 months个月 before,
I'd started开始 feeling感觉 pain疼痛 in my stomach
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01:10
and had gone走了 to every一切 expert专家
to find out why.
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我拜访了很多专家,想查清原因。
01:13
No one could tell me.
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没人能解释清楚。
01:15
And then, out of the blue蓝色,
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之后毫无预兆的,
01:17
some physician's医生 assistant助理
called me at work
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某医生的助手在我
工作时打电话给我,
告知我患上了四期癌症,
01:21
to tell me that I had stage阶段 IVIV cancer癌症,
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01:24
and that I was going to need
to come to the hospital醫院 right away.
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并且我需要立刻前往医院。
01:28
And all I could think of to say was,
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当时我大脑里唯一能想到的话是:
“但我还有个儿子,
01:31
"But I have a son儿子.
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01:33
I can't end结束.
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我不能死。
这个世界不能结束,
01:35
This world世界 can't end结束.
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01:38
It has just begun开始."
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这才刚刚开始。”
01:41
And then I called my husband丈夫,
and he rushed to find me
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之后我打电话给我丈夫,
他飞奔过来,
我对他说了我所有的真心话。
01:44
and I said all the true真正 things
that I have known已知.
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01:46
I said, "I have loved喜爱 you forever永远,
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我说:“我一直爱着你,
我一直爱着你。
01:50
I have loved喜爱 you forever永远.
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01:51
I am so sorry.
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非常对不起。
01:53
Please take care关心 of our son儿子."
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请照顾好我们的儿子。”
01:56
And then as I began开始
the walk步行 to the hospital醫院,
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然后我前往医院,
01:59
it crossed越过 my mind心神 for the first time,
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途中我第一次想到,
“天呐,太讽刺了。”
02:02
"Oh. How ironic具有讽刺意味."
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02:05
I had just written书面
a book called "Blessed幸福."
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我才刚写了一本叫“祝福”的书。
02:09
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
02:12
I am a historian历史学家
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我是一名历史学家,
02:13
and an expert专家 in the idea理念
that good things happen发生 to good people.
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笃信“好人有好报”的说法。
02:17
I research研究 a form形成 of Christianity基督教
nicknamed绰号 "the prosperity繁荣 gospel福音,"
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我研究了基督教的一支,
别称“成功神学”,
它的名字很直白地告诉你
上帝希望你成功。
02:21
for its very bold胆大 promise诺言
that God wants you to prosper繁荣.
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02:25
I never considered考虑 myself
a follower信徒 of the prosperity繁荣 gospel福音.
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我从不认为自己是成功神学的信徒,
我仅仅是个观察者。
02:29
I was simply只是 an observer观察者.
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02:32
The prosperity繁荣 gospel福音 believes相信
that God wants to reward奖励 you
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成功神学认为,若你有正确的信仰,
上帝就会奖励你。
02:35
if you have the right kind of faith信仰.
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02:37
If you're good and faithful可信,
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如果你是个好人,又很虔诚,
上帝就会赐给你健康、财富,
02:40
God will give you health健康 and wealth财富
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以及无穷的快乐。
02:42
and boundless漫漫 happiness幸福.
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02:44
Life is like a boomerang自食其果:
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生命就像个回旋镖:
02:46
if you're good,
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如果你是个好人,
02:47
good things will always come back to you.
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那么你就会得到好报。
想积极的事,说积极的话。
02:50
Think positively积极. Speak说话 positively积极.
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02:53
Nothing is impossible不可能 if you believe.
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世上无难事,只怕有心人。
02:58
I got interested有兴趣 in this
very American美国 theology神学
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当我18岁左右的时候,
对这类美国特色的神学感兴趣,
03:01
when I was 18 or so,
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25岁时,我周游国家、
采访名人信徒。
03:03
and by 25 I was traveling旅行 the country国家
interviewing面试 its celebrities名人.
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03:08
I spent花费 a decade talking to televangelists远程传道者
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我在十年间与电视布道者交谈,
03:11
with spiritual精神 guarantees担保
for divine神圣 money.
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他们深信上帝会给让你富有。
03:15
I interviewed采访 countless无数 megachurch大型教堂 pastors牧师
with spectacular壮观 hair头发
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我采访过无数留着惊人
发型的大教堂主教,
关于现在他们是如何活出精彩的。
03:19
about how they live生活 their best最好 lives生活 now.
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03:23
I visited参观 with people
in hospital醫院 waiting等候 rooms客房
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我探望过在医院等候室
03:26
and plush长毛绒 offices办事处.
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和豪华办公室中的人,
03:28
I held保持 hands with people in wheelchairs轮椅,
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我也与坐在轮椅上的人握手交谈,
他们祈祷自己能好起来。
03:30
praying祈祷 to be cured治愈.
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03:33
I earned my reputation声誉
as destroyer驱逐舰 of family家庭 vacations休假
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我被叫作“家庭度假的破坏者”,
03:37
for always insisting坚持 on being存在 dropped下降 off
at the fanciest最高档 megachurch大型教堂 in town.
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因为我总是要求
在镇上靓丽的大教堂处下车。
03:42
If there was a river
running赛跑 through通过 the sanctuary避难所,
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如果一处圣殿所有河流经过、
礼堂上盘旋着老鹰,
03:45
an eagle flying飞行 freely自如 in the auditorium礼堂,
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03:48
or an enormous巨大 spinning纺织 golden金色 globe地球,
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或是上面有巨大的旋转金球,
我一定会出现在那个地方。
03:51
I was there.
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03:54
When I first started开始 studying研究 this,
the whole整个 idea理念 of being存在 "blessed幸福"
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当我开始研究这些时,
“祝福”这个概念不是现在的意思,
03:57
wasn't what it is today今天.
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04:00
It was not, like it is now,
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这个概念并不像现在这样,
有一整条完整的“#祝福”
家居产品产业线。
04:02
an entire整个 line线 of "#blessed幸福" home goods产品.
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04:05
It was not yet然而 a flood洪水 of "#blessed幸福"
vanity虚荣 license执照 plates and T-shirtsT恤
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那时没有大量个性化“#祝福”牌照,
或是T恤和霓虹灯艺术墙。
04:10
and neon wall art艺术.
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04:13
I had no idea理念 that "blessed幸福" would become成为
one of the most common共同 cultural文化 cliches陈词滥调,
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我没想到“祝福”会发展成
一个常见的文化俗套,
变成instagram上最常用的标签之一,
04:18
one of the most used
hashtags主题标签 on InstagramInstagram的,
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04:21
to celebrate庆祝 barely仅仅 there bikini比基尼泳装 shots镜头,
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仅仅是用于庆祝比基尼短裤,
就好像在说:“我被祝福着,
04:24
as if to say, "I am so blessed幸福.
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谢谢你,耶稣,给了我这副身体。”
04:26
Thank you, Jesus耶稣, for this body身体."
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04:28
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
04:32
I had not yet然而 fully充分 grasped掌握
the way that the prosperity繁荣 gospel福音
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我还没完全理解成功神学
是如何成为了主要的国民宗教,
04:36
had become成为 the great civil国内 religion宗教,
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04:39
offering another另一个 transcendent超然 account帐户
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为美国梦的核心
做出另一个超常的解释。
04:41
of the core核心 of the American美国 Dream梦想.
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04:44
Rather than worshipping崇拜
the founding创建 of America美国 itself本身,
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成功神学推崇的不是
美国建立的本身,
04:47
the prosperity繁荣 gospel福音
worshipped崇拜 Americans美国人.
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而是美国人。
04:51
It deifies分德 and ritualizes仪式化 their hungers饥渴,
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它将美国人的渴望、
努力和道德品质
04:54
their hard work and moral道德 fiber纤维.
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神圣化及仪式化。
04:58
Americans美国人 believe in a gospel福音 of optimism乐观,
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美国人坚信乐观主义,
他们自己就是见证。
05:01
and they are their own拥有 proof证明.
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05:04
But despite尽管 telling告诉 myself,
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尽管我告诉自己:
05:06
"I'm just studying研究 this stuff东东,
I'm nothing like them,"
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“我只是在研究这个东西,
我与他们不同,”
当我拿到诊断书时,
05:09
when I got my diagnosis诊断,
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我突然明白,
05:11
I suddenly突然 understood了解
how deeply invested投资 I was
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自己已深陷霍雷肖·阿尔杰理论中。
05:15
in my own拥有 Horatio霍雷 Alger阿尔格 theology神学.
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05:19
If you live生活 in this culture文化,
whether是否 you are religious宗教 or not,
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如果你生活在这种文化中,
不管你是否信教,
很难避免陷入这样一种思维:
05:22
it is extremely非常 difficult
to avoid避免 falling落下 into the trap陷阱
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美德和成功是联系在一起的。
05:26
of believing相信 that virtue美德
and success成功 go hand in hand.
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05:31
The more I stared盯着 down my diagnosis诊断,
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我越盯着看诊断书,
越是意识到,
对于“好人有好报”这句话,
05:34
the more I recognized认可
that I had my own拥有 quiet安静 version
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我有着自己的理解。
05:37
of the idea理念 that good things
happen发生 to good people.
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05:41
Aren't是不是 I good?
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我不优秀吗?
05:42
Aren't是不是 I special特别 somehow不知何故?
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我某种程度上不是独一无二的吗?
05:45
I have committed提交 zero homicides杀人
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至今为止,
我从未杀过人。
05:47
to date日期.
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(笑声)
05:49
(Laughter笑声)
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(掌声)
05:51
(Applause掌声)
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那么为什么这一切要发生在我身上?
05:53
So why is this happening事件 to me?
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05:56
I wanted God to make me good
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我希望上帝让我变得优秀,
并且嘉奖我的虔诚,
只要一点小的奖励就可以。
05:58
and to reward奖励 my faith信仰 with just a few少数
shining闪亮的 awards奖项 along沿 the way.
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06:03
OK, like, a lot of shining闪亮的 awards奖项.
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好吧,我想要很多杰出奖励。
(笑声)
06:05
(Laughter笑声)
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我相信苦难
06:06
I believed相信 that hardships艰辛
were only detours少走弯路
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只是我人生长路上
避不开的几条弯路而已。
06:09
on what I was certain某些 would be
my long, long life.
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06:14
As is this case案件 with many许多 of us,
it's a mindset心态 that served提供服务 me well.
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就像其他人那样,
这种心态对我很有帮助。
06:19
The gospel福音 of success成功 drove开车 me to achieve实现,
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成功神学驱使我努力、
志向高远、
06:22
to dream梦想 big,
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抛弃恐惧。
06:23
to abandon放弃 fear恐惧.
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06:26
It was a mindset心态 that served提供服务 me well
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曾几何时,
这种心态对我很有帮助,
直到现在,
06:28
until直到 it didn't,
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直到我遇到了一个
无法解决的困难;
06:30
until直到 I was confronted面对 with something
I couldn't不能 manage管理 my way out of;
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06:35
until直到 I found发现 myself
saying into the phone电话,
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直到我对着电话说:
“但我还有个儿子呀,”
06:37
"But I have a son儿子,"
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06:39
because it was all
I could think of to say.
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因为我只能想到这句话。
06:45
That was the most difficult
moment时刻 to accept接受:
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那是最难以接受的一刻:
06:48
the phone电话 call, the walk步行 to the hospital醫院,
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那通电话,赶去医院,
当我意识到自己的成功神学
06:51
when I realized实现 that my own拥有
personal个人 prosperity繁荣 gospel福音
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06:55
had failed失败 me.
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辜负了我。
06:57
Anything I thought was good
or special特别 about me could not save保存 me --
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我自以为的优秀品质或特质,
都没法救我——
07:02
my hard work, my personality个性,
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工作努力、人格良好、
机智幽默、眼光独道。
07:05
my humor幽默, my perspective透视.
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07:08
I had to face面对 the fact事实 that my life
is built内置 with paper walls墙壁,
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我不得不接受这个事实:
我的人生是纸糊的,
别人的同样如此。
07:12
and so is everyone大家 else's别人的.
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07:16
It is a hard thought to accept接受
that we are all a breath呼吸 away
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很难接受,在瞬息之间
会有困难完全摧毁某些事物,
07:20
from a problem问题 that could
destroy破坏 something irreplaceable不可替代
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或是彻底改变我们的生活。
07:24
or alter改变 our lives生活 completely全然.
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07:27
We know that in life
there are befores之前 and afters.
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我们都知道在人生中,
有“之前”和“之后”两个阶段。
07:31
I am asked all the time to say
that I would never go back,
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我一直被要求做到不要后悔,
或是我学到很多。
07:36
or that I've gained获得
so much in perspective透视.
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07:39
And I tell them no,
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但我要说不,
之前才更好。
07:40
before was better.
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07:45
A few少数 months个月 after I got sick生病,
I wrote about this
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在我患病后几个月,
我写下这些,
并且把它发给《纽约时报》的一位编辑。
07:48
and then I sent发送 it off to an editor编辑
at the "New York纽约 Times."
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07:51
In retrospect回想起来, taking服用 one of the most
vulnerable弱势 moments瞬间 of your life
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回想起来,讲述一个
你人生中最脆弱的时刻,
并刊登在社论对页版,
07:55
and turning车削 into an op-ed专栏
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07:57
is not an amazing惊人 way
to feel less vulnerable弱势.
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并不能有效减轻脆弱的感觉。
08:00
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
我收到了数千份回信和邮件,
08:01
I got thousands数千 of letters and emails电子邮件.
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08:04
I still get them every一切 day.
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现在每天还能收到一些,
08:07
I think it is because
of the questions问题 I asked.
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我认为这是因为我问的问题。
08:10
I asked: How do you live生活
without quite相当 so many许多 reasons原因
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我问:如果坏事无缘无故地发生,
你们是如何活下去的?
08:14
for the bad things that happen发生?
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08:17
I asked: Would it be better to live生活
without outrageous蛮横的 formulas公式
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我问:如果不相信好人有好报的话,
是不是能轻松地活下去?
08:22
for why people deserve值得 what they get?
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08:26
And what was so funny滑稽
and so terrible可怕 was, of course课程,
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甚至更加搞笑和糟糕的是,
我要求人们冷静下来,
08:29
I thought I asked people to simmer down
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不要再为坏事找缘由。
08:31
on needing需要 an explanation说明
for the bad things that happened发生.
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08:34
So what did thousands数千 of readers读者 do?
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那么数千名读者做了什么?
08:37
Yeah, they wrote to defend保卫 the idea理念
that there had to be a reason原因
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他们在信中辩护说对于
发生在我身上的事
08:41
for what happened发生 to me.
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一定有一个缘由,
08:43
And they really want me
to understand理解 the reason原因.
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并且他们非常想
让我理解这个缘由。
08:46
People want me to reassure再保证 them
that my cancer癌症 is all part部分 of a plan计划.
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人们希望我向他们保证,
我患癌症是某个计划的一部分。
08:51
A few少数 letters even suggested建议
it was God's plan计划 that I get cancer癌症
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有几封信甚至提议说
是上帝计划让我得癌症,
这样我就能写出这些,帮助他人。
08:55
so I could help people
by writing写作 about it.
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08:58
People are certain某些
it is a test测试 of my character字符
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人们确信这是一场对我人性的测试,
或是证明了我曾做过什么坏事。
09:01
or proof证明 of something terrible可怕 I've doneDONE.
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09:04
They want me to know without a doubt怀疑
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他们希望我毫不怀疑的相信,
在表面混乱的背后隐藏着逻辑。
09:07
that there is a hidden logic逻辑
to this seeming表面上的 chaos混沌.
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09:12
They tell my husband丈夫,
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当我还在医院的时候,
他们告诉我的丈夫,
09:13
while I'm still in the hospital醫院,
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一切都事出有因,
09:15
that everything happens发生 for a reason原因,
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但当我丈夫说:
09:18
and then stammer结巴 awkwardly笨拙 when he says,
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“我想听听理由。
09:21
"I'd love to hear it.
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我想知道为何我妻子命悬一线。”
09:23
I'd love to hear the reason原因
my wife妻子 is dying垂死."
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他们却又支支吾吾。
09:27
And I get it.
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然后我懂了,
09:29
We all want reasons原因.
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我们都想知道原因,
09:31
We want formulas公式
183
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09:32
to predict预测 whether是否
our hard work will pay工资 off,
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我们都希望这些“准则”能够预测
我们的努力是否会获得回报,
09:36
whether是否 our love and support支持
will always make our partners伙伴 happy快乐
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我们的爱和支持是否
会让我们的伴侣开心、
让我们的孩子爱我们。
09:40
and our kids孩子 love us.
186
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09:43
We want to live生活 in a world世界
in which哪一个 not one ounce盎司
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我们都希望在这个世界上,
09:46
of our hard work or our pain疼痛
or our deepest最深 hopes希望 will be for nothing.
188
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每一分努力、痛苦或是
最深的希望会得到回报,
09:52
We want to live生活 in a world世界
in which哪一个 nothing is lost丢失.
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我们都希望世界上不会有愿望落空。
09:58
But what I have learned学到了
in living活的 with stage阶段 IVIV cancer癌症
190
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若说从四期癌症中我学到了什么,
那就是
10:02
is that there is no easy简单 correlation相关
191
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2641
在我的努力和我的寿命
10:05
between之间 how hard I try
192
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没有任何的联系。
10:08
and the length长度 of my life.
193
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10:10
In the last three years年份,
I've experienced有经验的 more pain疼痛 and trauma外伤
194
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在最近的三年中,
我承受了许多痛苦与创伤,
远超我觉得自己能够承受的范围。
10:14
than I ever thought I could survive生存.
195
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2161
10:18
I realized实现 the other day that I've had
so many许多 abdominal腹部的 surgeries手术
196
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3354
另一天我意识到我已经
经历过太多腹部手术,
我的肚脐已经换过4次,
10:21
that I'm on my fifth第五 belly肚皮 button按键,
197
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10:23
and this last one is my least最小 favorite喜爱.
198
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而最新的这颗是我最不喜欢的。
10:26
(Laughter笑声)
199
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(笑声)
10:29
But at the same相同 time,
I've experienced有经验的 love,
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3455
但同时,我也经历了爱,
无穷无尽的爱,
10:32
so much love,
201
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2007
很难用语言来描述。
10:34
love I find hard to explain说明.
202
622920
2258
10:38
The other day, I was reading the findings发现
203
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某天,我正在阅读
濒死体验研究基金会
的一份研究报告,
10:40
of the Near Death死亡 Experience经验
Research研究 Foundation基础,
204
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这种东西确实存在。
10:43
and yes, there is such这样 a thing.
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他们采访了各种情况下
10:45
People were interviewed采访
about their brushes with death死亡
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2596
人们与死亡擦肩而过的体验:
10:48
in all kinds of circumstances情况:
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车祸、分娩、
10:50
car汽车 accidents事故, labor劳动 and delivery交货,
208
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自杀。
10:52
suicides自杀.
209
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1433
许多人提到了同样的奇怪事:
10:54
And many许多 reported报道 the same相同 odd thing:
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10:57
love.
211
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爱。
10:59
I'm sure I would have ignored忽视 it
if it hadn't有没有 reminded提醒 me
212
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2717
我确定如果它没能唤醒我的记忆,
让我想起一些不想告诉他人的事,
11:01
of something I had experienced有经验的,
213
649868
1516
11:03
something I felt
uncomfortable不舒服 telling告诉 anyone任何人:
214
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2789
我肯定会无视它:
11:06
that when I was sure
that I was going to die,
215
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2854
当我确信自己会死亡的时候,
我没有感到愤怒,
11:09
I didn't feel angry愤怒.
216
657641
1796
11:12
I felt loved喜爱.
217
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1561
我感觉被爱着。
11:15
It was one of the most surreal超现实主义 things
I have experienced有经验的.
218
663123
3496
这是我所经历过最离奇的事之一。
11:18
In a time in which哪一个 I should have
felt abandoned by God,
219
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4093
当我应该感到被上帝抛弃的时候,
我并未化为灰烬。
11:22
I was not reduced减少 to ashes灰烬.
220
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2294
11:25
I felt like I was floating漂浮的,
221
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我觉得自己漂浮着,
11:27
floating漂浮的 on the love and prayers祈祷
222
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1764
漂浮在爱与祈祷之上,
11:29
of all those who hummed哼着歌
around me like worker工人 bees蜜蜂,
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3261
它们来自围绕在我周围、
如蜜蜂般嗡嗡作响的人,
给我带来慰问卡、袜子和鲜花,
11:33
bringing使 me notes笔记 and socks袜子 and flowers花卉
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681040
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还有上面绣有鼓励话语的被子。
11:35
and quilts棉被 embroidered绣花
with words of encouragement鼓励.
225
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3239
11:39
But when they satSAT beside me,
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2172
但当他们坐在我的身旁,
握住我的手时,
11:41
my hand in their hands,
227
689903
1923
我的痛苦好像不再属于我,
11:43
my own拥有 suffering痛苦 began开始 to feel
like it had revealed透露 to me
228
691850
3618
变成了我感知的他人的痛苦。
11:47
the suffering痛苦 of others其他.
229
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1459
11:49
I was entering进入 a world世界
of people just like me,
230
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2974
我正进入像我一样的人的世界,
11:53
people stumbling绊脚 around in the debris废墟
231
701572
2252
人们在破碎的梦想前颤抖,
曾以为自己有能力实现;
11:55
of dreams they thought
they were entitled标题 to
232
703848
2816
在破碎的计划前战栗,
没意识到他们已制定这些计划。
11:58
and plans计划 they didn't
realize实现 they had made制作.
233
706688
2650
12:02
It was a feeling感觉 of being存在 more connected连接的,
somehow不知何故, with other people,
234
710126
4232
我觉得自己与他人的联系加深,
体验着同样的经历。
12:06
experiencing经历 the same相同 situation情况.
235
714382
2263
12:09
And that feeling感觉
stayed with me for months个月.
236
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2728
这种感觉,围绕了我几个月。
12:12
In fact事实, I'd grown长大的 so accustomed惯常的 to it
237
720493
1875
事实上,我习惯于这个感觉,
甚至开始担心未来会失去它。
12:14
that I started开始 to panic恐慌
at the prospect展望 of losing失去 it.
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所以我开始询问我喜欢的朋友、
神学家、历史学家和修女:
12:17
So I began开始 to ask friends朋友, theologians神学家,
historians历史学家, nuns修女 I liked喜欢,
239
725666
6242
12:23
"What I am I going to do
when that loving爱心 feeling感觉 is gone走了?"
240
731932
3611
“等我感觉不到被爱着了,
我要做什么?”
12:28
And they knew知道 exactly究竟
what I was talking about,
241
736143
2302
他们明白我在说什么,
12:30
because they had either
experienced有经验的 it themselves他们自己
242
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2287
因为他们或是自己经历过,
或是在基督教义中学到过。
12:32
or they'd他们会 read about it
in great works作品 of Christian基督教 theology神学.
243
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3030
他们回答:
12:35
And they said,
244
743834
1279
“任它去。
12:37
"Yeah, it'll它会 go.
245
745137
2039
12:39
The feelings情怀 will go.
246
747872
1476
这个感觉会消失的。
12:41
And there will be no formula
for how to get it back."
247
749817
2967
没办法让它回来。”
12:45
But they offered提供 me
this little piece of reassurance放心,
248
753672
2518
但他们提供给我这小小的保证,
而我接受了。
12:48
and I clung抱定 to it.
249
756214
1362
12:50
They said,
250
758375
1170
他们说:
“当这个感觉如潮水一般退去时,
12:51
"When the feelings情怀 recede退 like the tides潮汐,
251
759569
3094
它会留下印记。”
12:54
they will leave离开 an imprint版本说明."
252
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1793
12:57
And they do.
253
765806
1466
的确如此。
12:59
And it is not proof证明 of anything,
254
767887
3083
这不能证明任何事情,
13:03
and it is nothing to boast about.
255
771906
1834
也没有可夸耀的地方,
这是一件礼物。
13:05
It was just a gift礼品.
256
773764
1631
所以我无法用我的
5步神圣健康计划
13:07
So I can't respond响应 to
the thousands数千 of emails电子邮件 I get
257
775419
2865
和神奇的漂浮感
13:10
with my own拥有 five-step五步 plan计划
to divine神圣 health健康
258
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2684
来回复那数千份邮件。
13:13
and magical神奇 floating漂浮的 feelings情怀.
259
781016
2110
13:16
I see that the world世界 is jolted震动 by events事件
that are wonderful精彩 and terrible可怕,
260
784023
5983
我发现世界被各种事件震动,
它们或喜或悲,
或华丽,或惨烈。
13:22
gorgeous华丽 and tragic悲惨.
261
790030
2350
13:25
I can't reconcile调和 the contradiction矛盾,
262
793191
2284
我无法调和矛盾,
13:28
except that I am beginning开始 to believe
that these opposites对立
263
796840
2912
除了我开始相信这两面
不会相互抵消。
13:31
do not cancel取消 each other out.
264
799776
2463
13:35
Life is so beautiful美丽,
265
803047
2449
生命是如此的美好,
生命又是如此的艰难。
13:37
and life is so hard.
266
805520
2000
13:42
Today今天, I am doing quite相当 well.
267
810372
2691
如今,我的状况还不错。
13:46
The immunotherapy免疫治疗 drugs毒品
appear出现 to be working加工,
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814230
2831
免疫疗法的药物好像起作用了,
而我们正在观察等待新的扫描结果。
13:49
and we are watching观看
and waiting等候 with scans扫描.
269
817085
2761
13:52
I hope希望 I will live生活 a long time.
270
820709
2197
我希望自己能活得长久,
13:55
I hope希望 I will live生活 long enough足够
to embarrass阻碍 my son儿子
271
823990
4234
我希望能活到
捉弄我儿子的那一刻,
能看到我丈夫那美丽的头发掉光。
14:00
and to watch my husband丈夫
lose失去 his beautiful美丽 hair头发.
272
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2944
14:04
And I think I might威力.
273
832027
1449
我觉得也许自己能活那么久。
14:06
But I am learning学习 to live生活
274
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2149
但我正在学习怎么生活、
怎么去爱,
14:08
and to love
275
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1787
不计代价,
14:10
without counting数数 the cost成本,
276
838145
2218
也没有任何保证和理由说
不会失去任何事物。
14:12
without reasons原因 and assurances保证
that nothing will be lost丢失.
277
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4201
14:17
Life will break打破 your heart,
278
845143
2161
生活会伤透你的心,
14:20
and life may可能 take everything you have
279
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2633
生活可能会拿走你拥有的一切,
14:22
and everything you hope希望 for.
280
850787
1737
你希望的一切。
14:25
But there is one kind
of prosperity繁荣 gospel福音 that I believe in.
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4246
但我相信一种成功神学,
14:29
I believe that in the darkness黑暗,
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2368
我相信
即使是在黑暗里,
14:32
even there,
283
860260
1531
也会有美好,
14:33
there will be beauty美女,
284
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1798
也会有爱。
14:35
and there will be love.
285
863637
1681
时不时地,
14:37
And every一切 now and then,
286
865342
2483
好像总是有无尽的爱与美好。
14:39
it will feel like more than enough足够.
287
867849
3037
14:43
Thank you.
288
871990
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谢谢。
(掌声)
14:45
(Applause掌声)
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Translated by Buyun Ping
Reviewed by Carol Wang

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kate Bowler - Divinity professor, author
Kate Bowler is reexamining her perspective on the "prosperity gospel": the belief that good things happen to good people.

Why you should listen

After being diagnosed with stage IV cancer at age 35, Duke tenured professor and author Kate Bowler launched a national conversation about why it feels so difficult to speak frankly about suffering. She delves into how we live and cope with pain and suffering in Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved, a New York Times bestselling memoir, and in her popular podcast, Everything Happens. She is also the author of Blessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel, which received widespread media and academic attention as the first history of a movement based on divine promises of health, wealth and happiness. She has appeared on NPR and The TODAY Show, Amanpour & Company as well as in the New York Times, Washington Post and TIME Magazine. Her work has also been praised by a wide variety of religious and political publications, from liberal print media to conservative talk radio.

More profile about the speaker
Kate Bowler | Speaker | TED.com