ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kate Bowler - Divinity professor, author
Kate Bowler is reexamining her perspective on the "prosperity gospel": the belief that good things happen to good people.

Why you should listen

After being diagnosed with stage IV cancer at age 35, Duke tenured professor and author Kate Bowler launched a national conversation about why it feels so difficult to speak frankly about suffering. She delves into how we live and cope with pain and suffering in Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved, a New York Times bestselling memoir, and in her popular podcast, Everything Happens. She is also the author of Blessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel, which received widespread media and academic attention as the first history of a movement based on divine promises of health, wealth and happiness. She has appeared on NPR and The TODAY Show, Amanpour & Company as well as in the New York Times, Washington Post and TIME Magazine. Her work has also been praised by a wide variety of religious and political publications, from liberal print media to conservative talk radio.

More profile about the speaker
Kate Bowler | Speaker | TED.com
TEDMED 2018

Kate Bowler: "Everything happens for a reason" -- and other lies I've loved

Filmed:
4,692,629 views

In life's toughest moments, how do you go on living? Kate Bowler has been exploring this question ever since she was diagnosed with stage IV cancer at age 35. In a profound, heartbreaking and unexpectedly funny talk, she offers some answers -- challenging the idea that "everything happens for a reason" and sharing hard-won wisdom about how to make sense of the world after your life is suddenly, completely changed. "I believe that in the darkness, even there, there will be beauty and there will be love," she says.
- Divinity professor, author
Kate Bowler is reexamining her perspective on the "prosperity gospel": the belief that good things happen to good people. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
There is some medical news
that nobody, absolutely nobody,
0
786
3930
00:16
is prepared to hear.
1
4740
1421
00:18
I certainly wasn't.
2
6817
1404
00:20
It was three years ago
that I got a call in my office
3
8832
3641
00:24
with the test results of a recent scan.
4
12497
2684
00:27
I was 35 and finally living
the life I wanted.
5
15205
3911
00:31
I married my high school sweetheart
6
19711
2094
00:33
and had finally gotten pregnant
after years of infertility.
7
21829
3705
00:38
And then suddenly we had a Zach,
8
26344
2108
00:41
a perfect one-year-old boy/dinosaur,
9
29249
3710
00:44
depending on his mood.
10
32983
1350
00:46
And having a Zach suited me perfectly.
11
34944
3085
00:51
I had gotten the first job
I applied for in academia,
12
39168
4023
00:55
land of a thousand crushed dreams.
13
43215
2688
00:58
And there I was,
14
46601
1287
00:59
working at my dream job
15
47912
2023
01:01
with my little baby
16
49959
1482
01:03
and the man I had imported from Canada.
17
51465
2748
01:06
(Laughter)
18
54237
1396
01:07
But a few months before,
I'd started feeling pain in my stomach
19
55657
2978
01:10
and had gone to every expert
to find out why.
20
58659
2547
01:13
No one could tell me.
21
61779
1289
01:15
And then, out of the blue,
22
63444
2500
01:17
some physician's assistant
called me at work
23
65968
3547
01:21
to tell me that I had stage IV cancer,
24
69539
2789
01:24
and that I was going to need
to come to the hospital right away.
25
72352
3048
01:28
And all I could think of to say was,
26
76239
3006
01:31
"But I have a son.
27
79269
1520
01:33
I can't end.
28
81945
1974
01:35
This world can't end.
29
83943
2282
01:38
It has just begun."
30
86249
2230
01:41
And then I called my husband,
and he rushed to find me
31
89458
2643
01:44
and I said all the true things
that I have known.
32
92125
2810
01:46
I said, "I have loved you forever,
33
94959
3060
01:50
I have loved you forever.
34
98043
1664
01:51
I am so sorry.
35
99731
1984
01:53
Please take care of our son."
36
101739
2058
01:56
And then as I began
the walk to the hospital,
37
104806
2729
01:59
it crossed my mind for the first time,
38
107559
2943
02:02
"Oh. How ironic."
39
110526
2735
02:05
I had just written
a book called "Blessed."
40
113285
3440
02:09
(Laughter)
41
117097
2000
02:12
I am a historian
42
120077
1252
02:13
and an expert in the idea
that good things happen to good people.
43
121353
3560
02:17
I research a form of Christianity
nicknamed "the prosperity gospel,"
44
125373
4266
02:21
for its very bold promise
that God wants you to prosper.
45
129663
4196
02:25
I never considered myself
a follower of the prosperity gospel.
46
133883
3759
02:29
I was simply an observer.
47
137666
1946
02:32
The prosperity gospel believes
that God wants to reward you
48
140134
3667
02:35
if you have the right kind of faith.
49
143825
2110
02:37
If you're good and faithful,
50
145959
2366
02:40
God will give you health and wealth
51
148349
2209
02:42
and boundless happiness.
52
150582
1823
02:44
Life is like a boomerang:
53
152817
1475
02:46
if you're good,
54
154316
1309
02:47
good things will always come back to you.
55
155649
2572
02:50
Think positively. Speak positively.
56
158245
3404
02:53
Nothing is impossible if you believe.
57
161673
3197
02:58
I got interested in this
very American theology
58
166110
3446
03:01
when I was 18 or so,
59
169580
1627
03:03
and by 25 I was traveling the country
interviewing its celebrities.
60
171231
4433
03:08
I spent a decade talking to televangelists
61
176148
3706
03:11
with spiritual guarantees
for divine money.
62
179878
3036
03:15
I interviewed countless megachurch pastors
with spectacular hair
63
183501
4474
03:19
about how they live their best lives now.
64
187999
2679
03:23
I visited with people
in hospital waiting rooms
65
191545
2607
03:26
and plush offices.
66
194176
1528
03:28
I held hands with people in wheelchairs,
67
196221
2509
03:30
praying to be cured.
68
198754
1498
03:33
I earned my reputation
as destroyer of family vacations
69
201252
4705
03:37
for always insisting on being dropped off
at the fanciest megachurch in town.
70
205981
4235
03:42
If there was a river
running through the sanctuary,
71
210653
2998
03:45
an eagle flying freely in the auditorium,
72
213675
3074
03:48
or an enormous spinning golden globe,
73
216773
2820
03:51
I was there.
74
219617
1228
03:54
When I first started studying this,
the whole idea of being "blessed"
75
222199
3680
03:57
wasn't what it is today.
76
225903
1659
04:00
It was not, like it is now,
77
228062
2083
04:02
an entire line of "#blessed" home goods.
78
230169
2915
04:05
It was not yet a flood of "#blessed"
vanity license plates and T-shirts
79
233758
5148
04:10
and neon wall art.
80
238930
1634
04:13
I had no idea that "blessed" would become
one of the most common cultural cliches,
81
241275
5356
04:18
one of the most used
hashtags on Instagram,
82
246655
2917
04:21
to celebrate barely there bikini shots,
83
249596
2575
04:24
as if to say, "I am so blessed.
84
252195
2440
04:26
Thank you, Jesus, for this body."
85
254659
2269
04:28
(Laughter)
86
256952
2513
04:32
I had not yet fully grasped
the way that the prosperity gospel
87
260233
3832
04:36
had become the great civil religion,
88
264089
2917
04:39
offering another transcendent account
89
267030
2500
04:41
of the core of the American Dream.
90
269554
2129
04:44
Rather than worshipping
the founding of America itself,
91
272176
3508
04:47
the prosperity gospel
worshipped Americans.
92
275708
2873
04:51
It deifies and ritualizes their hungers,
93
279027
3160
04:54
their hard work and moral fiber.
94
282211
2654
04:58
Americans believe in a gospel of optimism,
95
286305
3010
05:01
and they are their own proof.
96
289339
1918
05:04
But despite telling myself,
97
292459
1704
05:06
"I'm just studying this stuff,
I'm nothing like them,"
98
294187
3288
05:09
when I got my diagnosis,
99
297499
1678
05:11
I suddenly understood
how deeply invested I was
100
299201
4198
05:15
in my own Horatio Alger theology.
101
303423
2670
05:19
If you live in this culture,
whether you are religious or not,
102
307178
3211
05:22
it is extremely difficult
to avoid falling into the trap
103
310413
3803
05:26
of believing that virtue
and success go hand in hand.
104
314240
4261
05:31
The more I stared down my diagnosis,
105
319485
2508
05:34
the more I recognized
that I had my own quiet version
106
322017
3380
05:37
of the idea that good things
happen to good people.
107
325421
3105
05:41
Aren't I good?
108
329150
1156
05:42
Aren't I special somehow?
109
330744
1816
05:45
I have committed zero homicides
110
333144
2802
05:47
to date.
111
335970
1165
05:49
(Laughter)
112
337159
2499
05:51
(Applause)
113
339682
1936
05:53
So why is this happening to me?
114
341642
1783
05:56
I wanted God to make me good
115
344650
2182
05:58
and to reward my faith with just a few
shining awards along the way.
116
346856
3960
06:03
OK, like, a lot of shining awards.
117
351377
2254
06:05
(Laughter)
118
353655
1008
06:06
I believed that hardships
were only detours
119
354687
2807
06:09
on what I was certain would be
my long, long life.
120
357518
3561
06:14
As is this case with many of us,
it's a mindset that served me well.
121
362270
4101
06:19
The gospel of success drove me to achieve,
122
367024
3122
06:22
to dream big,
123
370170
1570
06:23
to abandon fear.
124
371764
1449
06:26
It was a mindset that served me well
125
374183
2472
06:28
until it didn't,
126
376679
1573
06:30
until I was confronted with something
I couldn't manage my way out of;
127
378276
3961
06:35
until I found myself
saying into the phone,
128
383078
2642
06:37
"But I have a son,"
129
385744
1529
06:39
because it was all
I could think of to say.
130
387776
3016
06:45
That was the most difficult
moment to accept:
131
393411
2535
06:48
the phone call, the walk to the hospital,
132
396637
3243
06:51
when I realized that my own
personal prosperity gospel
133
399904
3699
06:55
had failed me.
134
403627
1189
06:57
Anything I thought was good
or special about me could not save me --
135
405673
4955
07:02
my hard work, my personality,
136
410652
2784
07:05
my humor, my perspective.
137
413460
2681
07:08
I had to face the fact that my life
is built with paper walls,
138
416914
3849
07:12
and so is everyone else's.
139
420787
1931
07:16
It is a hard thought to accept
that we are all a breath away
140
424821
4105
07:20
from a problem that could
destroy something irreplaceable
141
428950
3781
07:24
or alter our lives completely.
142
432755
2112
07:27
We know that in life
there are befores and afters.
143
435644
3280
07:31
I am asked all the time to say
that I would never go back,
144
439743
4321
07:36
or that I've gained
so much in perspective.
145
444088
2507
07:39
And I tell them no,
146
447074
1809
07:40
before was better.
147
448907
1944
07:45
A few months after I got sick,
I wrote about this
148
453793
2310
07:48
and then I sent it off to an editor
at the "New York Times."
149
456127
2979
07:51
In retrospect, taking one of the most
vulnerable moments of your life
150
459742
4197
07:55
and turning into an op-ed
151
463963
1530
07:57
is not an amazing way
to feel less vulnerable.
152
465517
2790
08:00
(Laughter)
153
468331
1486
08:01
I got thousands of letters and emails.
154
469841
2775
08:04
I still get them every day.
155
472943
1553
08:07
I think it is because
of the questions I asked.
156
475274
2627
08:10
I asked: How do you live
without quite so many reasons
157
478321
4600
08:14
for the bad things that happen?
158
482945
1703
08:17
I asked: Would it be better to live
without outrageous formulas
159
485124
5262
08:22
for why people deserve what they get?
160
490410
2484
08:26
And what was so funny
and so terrible was, of course,
161
494093
3247
08:29
I thought I asked people to simmer down
162
497364
2242
08:31
on needing an explanation
for the bad things that happened.
163
499630
2763
08:34
So what did thousands of readers do?
164
502417
2631
08:37
Yeah, they wrote to defend the idea
that there had to be a reason
165
505072
4285
08:41
for what happened to me.
166
509381
1712
08:43
And they really want me
to understand the reason.
167
511117
2787
08:46
People want me to reassure them
that my cancer is all part of a plan.
168
514438
4497
08:51
A few letters even suggested
it was God's plan that I get cancer
169
519808
3421
08:55
so I could help people
by writing about it.
170
523253
2326
08:58
People are certain
it is a test of my character
171
526669
2981
09:01
or proof of something terrible I've done.
172
529674
2298
09:04
They want me to know without a doubt
173
532744
3030
09:07
that there is a hidden logic
to this seeming chaos.
174
535798
3833
09:12
They tell my husband,
175
540302
1631
09:13
while I'm still in the hospital,
176
541957
2001
09:15
that everything happens for a reason,
177
543982
2483
09:18
and then stammer awkwardly when he says,
178
546489
2768
09:21
"I'd love to hear it.
179
549281
1289
09:23
I'd love to hear the reason
my wife is dying."
180
551111
2896
09:27
And I get it.
181
555636
1166
09:29
We all want reasons.
182
557240
1869
09:31
We want formulas
183
559133
1706
09:32
to predict whether
our hard work will pay off,
184
560863
3575
09:36
whether our love and support
will always make our partners happy
185
564462
4138
09:40
and our kids love us.
186
568624
1564
09:43
We want to live in a world
in which not one ounce
187
571460
2911
09:46
of our hard work or our pain
or our deepest hopes will be for nothing.
188
574395
5644
09:52
We want to live in a world
in which nothing is lost.
189
580793
3903
09:58
But what I have learned
in living with stage IV cancer
190
586920
3972
10:02
is that there is no easy correlation
191
590916
2641
10:05
between how hard I try
192
593581
2561
10:08
and the length of my life.
193
596166
1649
10:10
In the last three years,
I've experienced more pain and trauma
194
598920
4000
10:14
than I ever thought I could survive.
195
602944
2161
10:18
I realized the other day that I've had
so many abdominal surgeries
196
606100
3354
10:21
that I'm on my fifth belly button,
197
609478
2303
10:23
and this last one is my least favorite.
198
611805
2378
10:26
(Laughter)
199
614207
1814
10:29
But at the same time,
I've experienced love,
200
617410
3455
10:32
so much love,
201
620889
2007
10:34
love I find hard to explain.
202
622920
2258
10:38
The other day, I was reading the findings
203
626230
2365
10:40
of the Near Death Experience
Research Foundation,
204
628619
3192
10:43
and yes, there is such a thing.
205
631835
2082
10:45
People were interviewed
about their brushes with death
206
633941
2596
10:48
in all kinds of circumstances:
207
636561
1746
10:50
car accidents, labor and delivery,
208
638331
2468
10:52
suicides.
209
640823
1433
10:54
And many reported the same odd thing:
210
642280
2357
10:57
love.
211
645429
1174
10:59
I'm sure I would have ignored it
if it hadn't reminded me
212
647127
2717
11:01
of something I had experienced,
213
649868
1516
11:03
something I felt
uncomfortable telling anyone:
214
651408
2789
11:06
that when I was sure
that I was going to die,
215
654763
2854
11:09
I didn't feel angry.
216
657641
1796
11:12
I felt loved.
217
660626
1561
11:15
It was one of the most surreal things
I have experienced.
218
663123
3496
11:18
In a time in which I should have
felt abandoned by God,
219
666643
4093
11:22
I was not reduced to ashes.
220
670760
2294
11:25
I felt like I was floating,
221
673598
2345
11:27
floating on the love and prayers
222
675967
1764
11:29
of all those who hummed
around me like worker bees,
223
677755
3261
11:33
bringing me notes and socks and flowers
224
681040
2797
11:35
and quilts embroidered
with words of encouragement.
225
683861
3239
11:39
But when they sat beside me,
226
687707
2172
11:41
my hand in their hands,
227
689903
1923
11:43
my own suffering began to feel
like it had revealed to me
228
691850
3618
11:47
the suffering of others.
229
695492
1459
11:49
I was entering a world
of people just like me,
230
697733
2974
11:53
people stumbling around in the debris
231
701572
2252
11:55
of dreams they thought
they were entitled to
232
703848
2816
11:58
and plans they didn't
realize they had made.
233
706688
2650
12:02
It was a feeling of being more connected,
somehow, with other people,
234
710126
4232
12:06
experiencing the same situation.
235
714382
2263
12:09
And that feeling
stayed with me for months.
236
717304
2728
12:12
In fact, I'd grown so accustomed to it
237
720493
1875
12:14
that I started to panic
at the prospect of losing it.
238
722392
3250
12:17
So I began to ask friends, theologians,
historians, nuns I liked,
239
725666
6242
12:23
"What I am I going to do
when that loving feeling is gone?"
240
731932
3611
12:28
And they knew exactly
what I was talking about,
241
736143
2302
12:30
because they had either
experienced it themselves
242
738469
2287
12:32
or they'd read about it
in great works of Christian theology.
243
740780
3030
12:35
And they said,
244
743834
1279
12:37
"Yeah, it'll go.
245
745137
2039
12:39
The feelings will go.
246
747872
1476
12:41
And there will be no formula
for how to get it back."
247
749817
2967
12:45
But they offered me
this little piece of reassurance,
248
753672
2518
12:48
and I clung to it.
249
756214
1362
12:50
They said,
250
758375
1170
12:51
"When the feelings recede like the tides,
251
759569
3094
12:54
they will leave an imprint."
252
762687
1793
12:57
And they do.
253
765806
1466
12:59
And it is not proof of anything,
254
767887
3083
13:03
and it is nothing to boast about.
255
771906
1834
13:05
It was just a gift.
256
773764
1631
13:07
So I can't respond to
the thousands of emails I get
257
775419
2865
13:10
with my own five-step plan
to divine health
258
778308
2684
13:13
and magical floating feelings.
259
781016
2110
13:16
I see that the world is jolted by events
that are wonderful and terrible,
260
784023
5983
13:22
gorgeous and tragic.
261
790030
2350
13:25
I can't reconcile the contradiction,
262
793191
2284
13:28
except that I am beginning to believe
that these opposites
263
796840
2912
13:31
do not cancel each other out.
264
799776
2463
13:35
Life is so beautiful,
265
803047
2449
13:37
and life is so hard.
266
805520
2000
13:42
Today, I am doing quite well.
267
810372
2691
13:46
The immunotherapy drugs
appear to be working,
268
814230
2831
13:49
and we are watching
and waiting with scans.
269
817085
2761
13:52
I hope I will live a long time.
270
820709
2197
13:55
I hope I will live long enough
to embarrass my son
271
823990
4234
14:00
and to watch my husband
lose his beautiful hair.
272
828248
2944
14:04
And I think I might.
273
832027
1449
14:06
But I am learning to live
274
834161
2149
14:08
and to love
275
836334
1787
14:10
without counting the cost,
276
838145
2218
14:12
without reasons and assurances
that nothing will be lost.
277
840387
4201
14:17
Life will break your heart,
278
845143
2161
14:20
and life may take everything you have
279
848130
2633
14:22
and everything you hope for.
280
850787
1737
14:25
But there is one kind
of prosperity gospel that I believe in.
281
853063
4246
14:29
I believe that in the darkness,
282
857868
2368
14:32
even there,
283
860260
1531
14:33
there will be beauty,
284
861815
1798
14:35
and there will be love.
285
863637
1681
14:37
And every now and then,
286
865342
2483
14:39
it will feel like more than enough.
287
867849
3037
14:43
Thank you.
288
871990
1201
14:45
(Applause)
289
873215
3435

▲Back to top

ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Kate Bowler - Divinity professor, author
Kate Bowler is reexamining her perspective on the "prosperity gospel": the belief that good things happen to good people.

Why you should listen

After being diagnosed with stage IV cancer at age 35, Duke tenured professor and author Kate Bowler launched a national conversation about why it feels so difficult to speak frankly about suffering. She delves into how we live and cope with pain and suffering in Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved, a New York Times bestselling memoir, and in her popular podcast, Everything Happens. She is also the author of Blessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel, which received widespread media and academic attention as the first history of a movement based on divine promises of health, wealth and happiness. She has appeared on NPR and The TODAY Show, Amanpour & Company as well as in the New York Times, Washington Post and TIME Magazine. Her work has also been praised by a wide variety of religious and political publications, from liberal print media to conservative talk radio.

More profile about the speaker
Kate Bowler | Speaker | TED.com