ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Emily Esfahani Smith - Journalist, author
In her book "The Power of Meaning," Emily Esfahani Smith rounds up the latest research -- and the stories of fascinating people she interviewed -- to argue that the search for meaning is far more fulfilling than the pursuit of personal happiness.

Why you should listen

Emily Esfahani Smith is the author of The Power of Meaning: Finding Fulfillment in a World Obsessed With Happiness. In her book and TED Talk, she argues that we're chasing the wrong goal -- a life of meaning, not happiness, should be our aim.

Our culture is obsessed with happiness. Even though we devote vast amounts of time and resources trying to be happier, many of us feel aimless and alienated nonetheless. With depression and loneliness trending upward for decades and the suicide rate rising around the world -- recently reaching a 30-year high in the United States -- it's clear that something is wrong. In recent years, social scientists have been trying to understand what exactly the problem is. What they've found is striking. What predicts the rising tide of despair sweeping across society is not a lack of happiness. It's a lack of something else -- a lack of having meaning in life. In fact, chasing and valuing happiness, the way our culture encourages us to do, can actually make people unhappy.

This set Smith on a journey to understand what constitutes a meaningful life. After extensive research and reporting, she came to see that there are four pillars of a meaningful life -- and she lays them out in her TED Talk. Ultimately, she discovered that the search for meaning is far more fulfilling than the pursuit of personal happiness -- and we all have the power to build more meaning in our lives.

Smith's articles and essays have appeared in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and The Atlantic. The former managing editor of The New Criterion, Smith is also an editor at the Stanford University's Hoover Institution, where she advises the Ben Franklin Circles project, a collaboration with the 92nd Street Y and Citizen University to build meaning in local communities.  

More profile about the speaker
Emily Esfahani Smith | Speaker | TED.com
TED2017

Emily Esfahani Smith: There's more to life than being happy

Filmed:
8,815,535 views

Our culture is obsessed with happiness, but what if there's a more fulfilling path? Happiness comes and goes, says writer Emily Esfahani Smith, but having meaning in life -- serving something beyond yourself and developing the best within you -- gives you something to hold onto. Learn more about the difference between being happy and having meaning as Smith offers four pillars of a meaningful life.
- Journalist, author
In her book "The Power of Meaning," Emily Esfahani Smith rounds up the latest research -- and the stories of fascinating people she interviewed -- to argue that the search for meaning is far more fulfilling than the pursuit of personal happiness. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
I used to think
0
904
1279
00:14
the whole purpose of life
was pursuing happiness.
1
2207
3734
00:18
Everyone said the path
to happiness was success,
2
6680
3384
00:22
so I searched for that ideal job,
3
10088
2498
00:24
that perfect boyfriend,
that beautiful apartment.
4
12610
3031
00:28
But instead of ever feeling fulfilled,
5
16998
2998
00:32
I felt anxious and adrift.
6
20020
2604
00:35
And I wasn't alone; my friends --
they struggled with this, too.
7
23195
4009
00:40
Eventually, I decided to go
to graduate school for positive psychology
8
28720
4269
00:45
to learn what truly makes people happy.
9
33013
3220
00:48
But what I discovered there
changed my life.
10
36971
2656
00:52
The data showed that chasing happiness
can make people unhappy.
11
40452
4610
00:57
And what really struck me was this:
12
45967
2257
01:01
the suicide rate has been rising
around the world,
13
49058
2787
01:03
and it recently reached
a 30-year high in America.
14
51869
3091
01:07
Even though life is getting
objectively better
15
55753
2763
01:10
by nearly every conceivable standard,
16
58540
2690
01:13
more people feel hopeless,
17
61254
2199
01:15
depressed and alone.
18
63477
2125
01:18
There's an emptiness
gnawing away at people,
19
66214
2813
01:21
and you don't have to be
clinically depressed to feel it.
20
69051
3270
01:24
Sooner or later, I think we all wonder:
21
72345
2900
01:27
Is this all there is?
22
75784
2232
01:31
And according to the research,
what predicts this despair
23
79167
3206
01:34
is not a lack of happiness.
24
82397
1827
01:36
It's a lack of something else,
25
84248
1842
01:38
a lack of having meaning in life.
26
86817
2938
01:42
But that raised some questions for me.
27
90962
2393
01:45
Is there more to life than being happy?
28
93855
2599
01:49
And what's the difference
between being happy
29
97216
2423
01:51
and having meaning in life?
30
99663
1891
01:54
Many psychologists define happiness
as a state of comfort and ease,
31
102879
4600
01:59
feeling good in the moment.
32
107503
1889
02:02
Meaning, though, is deeper.
33
110098
1658
02:04
The renowned psychologist
Martin Seligman says
34
112278
2564
02:06
meaning comes from belonging to
and serving something beyond yourself
35
114866
4647
02:11
and from developing the best within you.
36
119537
2683
02:15
Our culture is obsessed with happiness,
37
123617
2595
02:18
but I came to see that seeking meaning
is the more fulfilling path.
38
126236
4107
02:22
And the studies show that people
who have meaning in life,
39
130367
2929
02:25
they're more resilient,
40
133320
1410
02:26
they do better in school and at work,
41
134754
2557
02:29
and they even live longer.
42
137335
1607
02:31
So this all made me wonder:
43
139985
2021
02:34
How can we each live more meaningfully?
44
142030
2474
02:37
To find out, I spent five years
interviewing hundreds of people
45
145980
3678
02:41
and reading through thousands
of pages of psychology,
46
149682
2901
02:44
neuroscience and philosophy.
47
152607
2101
02:47
Bringing it all together,
48
155366
1789
02:49
I found that there are what I call
four pillars of a meaningful life.
49
157179
5341
02:54
And we can each create lives of meaning
50
162544
2434
02:57
by building some or all
of these pillars in our lives.
51
165002
3349
03:01
The first pillar is belonging.
52
169428
2188
03:04
Belonging comes
from being in relationships
53
172378
2307
03:06
where you're valued
for who you are intrinsically
54
174709
2705
03:09
and where you value others as well.
55
177438
2113
03:12
But some groups and relationships
deliver a cheap form of belonging;
56
180218
4690
03:16
you're valued for what you believe,
57
184932
1893
03:18
for who you hate,
58
186849
1246
03:20
not for who you are.
59
188119
1545
03:22
True belonging springs from love.
60
190420
2783
03:25
It lives in moments among individuals,
61
193227
2985
03:28
and it's a choice -- you can choose
to cultivate belonging with others.
62
196236
3845
03:32
Here's an example.
63
200661
1607
03:34
Each morning, my friend Jonathan
buys a newspaper
64
202292
3555
03:37
from the same street vendor in New York.
65
205871
2218
03:40
They don't just conduct
a transaction, though.
66
208502
2280
03:42
They take a moment to slow down, talk,
67
210806
2683
03:45
and treat each other like humans.
68
213513
1906
03:48
But one time, Jonathan
didn't have the right change,
69
216038
3394
03:51
and the vendor said,
70
219456
1220
03:52
"Don't worry about it."
71
220700
1520
03:54
But Jonathan insisted on paying,
72
222244
2487
03:56
so he went to the store
and bought something he didn't need
73
224755
3012
03:59
to make change.
74
227791
1461
04:01
But when he gave the money to the vendor,
75
229992
2623
04:04
the vendor drew back.
76
232639
1522
04:06
He was hurt.
77
234820
1278
04:08
He was trying to do something kind,
78
236715
1849
04:10
but Jonathan had rejected him.
79
238588
2247
04:14
I think we all reject people in small ways
like this without realizing it.
80
242113
4151
04:18
I do.
81
246288
1198
04:19
I'll walk by someone I know
and barely acknowledge them.
82
247510
3063
04:22
I'll check my phone
when someone's talking to me.
83
250597
2647
04:25
These acts devalue others.
84
253678
1929
04:27
They make them feel
invisible and unworthy.
85
255631
2753
04:31
But when you lead with love,
you create a bond
86
259130
2752
04:33
that lifts each of you up.
87
261906
1672
04:37
For many people, belonging
is the most essential source of meaning,
88
265030
3628
04:40
those bonds to family and friends.
89
268682
1998
04:43
For others, the key to meaning
is the second pillar: purpose.
90
271176
4005
04:47
Now, finding your purpose
is not the same thing
91
275844
2915
04:50
as finding that job that makes you happy.
92
278783
2248
04:53
Purpose is less about what you want
than about what you give.
93
281520
3459
04:57
A hospital custodian told me
her purpose is healing sick people.
94
285003
4488
05:01
Many parents tell me,
95
289515
1711
05:03
"My purpose is raising my children."
96
291250
1936
05:05
The key to purpose
is using your strengths to serve others.
97
293527
4044
05:10
Of course, for many of us,
that happens through work.
98
298381
3508
05:13
That's how we contribute and feel needed.
99
301913
2979
05:16
But that also means
that issues like disengagement at work,
100
304916
3860
05:20
unemployment,
101
308800
1413
05:22
low labor force participation --
102
310237
2227
05:24
these aren't just economic problems,
they're existential ones, too.
103
312488
3691
05:28
Without something worthwhile to do,
104
316821
2213
05:31
people flounder.
105
319058
1301
05:33
Of course, you don't have to find
purpose at work,
106
321493
2616
05:36
but purpose gives you
something to live for,
107
324133
2729
05:38
some "why" that drives you forward.
108
326886
2080
05:43
The third pillar of meaning
is also about stepping beyond yourself,
109
331147
3300
05:46
but in a completely different way:
110
334471
1842
05:48
transcendence.
111
336337
1587
05:49
Transcendent states are those rare moments
112
337948
2377
05:52
when you're lifted above
the hustle and bustle of daily life,
113
340349
3412
05:55
your sense of self fades away,
114
343785
1705
05:57
and you feel connected
to a higher reality.
115
345514
2774
06:01
For one person I talked to,
transcendence came from seeing art.
116
349214
3690
06:04
For another person, it was at church.
117
352928
2530
06:07
For me, I'm a writer,
and it happens through writing.
118
355482
3554
06:11
Sometimes I get so in the zone
that I lose all sense of time and place.
119
359060
5070
06:16
These transcendent
experiences can change you.
120
364757
3146
06:19
One study had students look up
at 200-feet-tall eucalyptus trees
121
367927
4524
06:24
for one minute.
122
372475
1201
06:26
But afterwards
they felt less self-centered,
123
374263
2154
06:28
and they even behaved more generously
124
376441
1944
06:30
when given the chance to help someone.
125
378409
2070
06:33
Belonging, purpose, transcendence.
126
381582
3720
06:38
Now, the fourth pillar
of meaning, I've found,
127
386374
2723
06:41
tends to surprise people.
128
389121
1755
06:43
The fourth pillar is storytelling,
129
391366
2734
06:46
the story you tell yourself
about yourself.
130
394124
2865
06:49
Creating a narrative from the events
of your life brings clarity.
131
397616
4144
06:53
It helps you understand
how you became you.
132
401784
3036
06:57
But we don't always realize
that we're the authors of our stories
133
405669
3096
07:00
and can change the way we're telling them.
134
408789
2163
07:02
Your life isn't just a list of events.
135
410976
2491
07:05
You can edit, interpret
and retell your story,
136
413491
3216
07:08
even as you're constrained by the facts.
137
416731
2220
07:11
I met a young man named Emeka,
who'd been paralyzed playing football.
138
419681
4628
07:16
After his injury, Emeka told himself,
139
424920
2459
07:19
"My life was great playing football,
140
427403
2705
07:22
but now look at me."
141
430132
2124
07:26
People who tell stories like this --
142
434002
2292
07:28
"My life was good. Now it's bad." --
143
436318
2524
07:30
tend to be more anxious and depressed.
144
438866
2822
07:33
And that was Emeka for a while.
145
441712
2329
07:36
But with time, he started
to weave a different story.
146
444573
3391
07:40
His new story was,
147
448415
1733
07:42
"Before my injury,
my life was purposeless.
148
450172
3267
07:45
I partied a lot and was
a pretty selfish guy.
149
453463
3253
07:48
But my injury made me realize
I could be a better man."
150
456740
3708
07:53
That edit to his story
changed Emeka's life.
151
461488
3541
07:57
After telling the new story to himself,
152
465053
2431
07:59
Emeka started mentoring kids,
153
467508
1922
08:01
and he discovered what his purpose was:
154
469454
2366
08:03
serving others.
155
471844
1390
08:06
The psychologist Dan McAdams
calls this a "redemptive story,"
156
474101
3378
08:09
where the bad is redeemed by the good.
157
477503
2283
08:12
People leading meaningful
lives, he's found,
158
480627
2183
08:14
tend to tell stories about their lives
159
482834
1931
08:16
defined by redemption, growth and love.
160
484789
3022
08:20
But what makes people
change their stories?
161
488723
2462
08:23
Some people get help from a therapist,
162
491725
1928
08:25
but you can do it on your own, too,
163
493677
1810
08:27
just by reflecting
on your life thoughtfully,
164
495511
2760
08:30
how your defining experiences shaped you,
165
498295
2087
08:32
what you lost, what you gained.
166
500406
1737
08:34
That's what Emeka did.
167
502589
1534
08:37
You won't change your story overnight;
168
505012
2046
08:39
it could take years and be painful.
169
507082
2345
08:41
After all, we've all suffered,
and we all struggle.
170
509451
2934
08:44
But embracing those painful memories
can lead to new insights and wisdom,
171
512957
4339
08:49
to finding that good that sustains you.
172
517320
3065
08:54
Belonging, purpose,
transcendence, storytelling:
173
522584
4533
08:59
those are the four pillars of meaning.
174
527863
2731
09:03
When I was younger,
175
531626
1606
09:05
I was lucky enough to be surrounded
by all of the pillars.
176
533256
3638
09:09
My parents ran a Sufi meetinghouse
from our home in Montreal.
177
537381
4540
09:14
Sufism is a spiritual practice
associated with the whirling dervishes
178
542686
4483
09:19
and the poet Rumi.
179
547193
1393
09:21
Twice a week, Sufis would come to our home
180
549430
2575
09:24
to meditate, drink Persian tea,
and share stories.
181
552029
3760
09:28
Their practice also involved
serving all of creation
182
556209
2957
09:31
through small acts of love,
183
559190
1810
09:33
which meant being kind
even when people wronged you.
184
561024
3341
09:36
But it gave them a purpose:
to reign in the ego.
185
564389
3154
09:40
Eventually, I left home for college
186
568912
2616
09:43
and without the daily grounding
of Sufism in my life,
187
571552
3702
09:47
I felt unmoored.
188
575278
1588
09:48
And I started searching for those things
that make life worth living.
189
576890
3588
09:52
That's what set me on this journey.
190
580502
2113
09:55
Looking back, I now realize
191
583012
1757
09:56
that the Sufi house
had a real culture of meaning.
192
584793
3242
10:00
The pillars were part of the architecture,
193
588059
2506
10:02
and the presence of the pillars
helped us all live more deeply.
194
590589
3226
10:06
Of course, the same principle applies
195
594414
2321
10:08
in other strong communities as well --
196
596759
2201
10:10
good ones and bad ones.
197
598984
2022
10:13
Gangs, cults:
198
601556
2029
10:15
these are cultures of meaning
that use the pillars
199
603609
3013
10:18
and give people
something to live and die for.
200
606646
3378
10:22
But that's exactly why we as a society
201
610048
2867
10:24
must offer better alternatives.
202
612939
2109
10:27
We need to build these pillars
within our families and our institutions
203
615072
3751
10:30
to help people become their best selves.
204
618847
2582
10:34
But living a meaningful life takes work.
205
622524
2586
10:37
It's an ongoing process.
206
625134
1875
10:39
As each day goes by,
we're constantly creating our lives,
207
627033
3729
10:42
adding to our story.
208
630786
1569
10:44
And sometimes we can get off track.
209
632831
2749
10:48
Whenever that happens to me,
210
636362
1911
10:50
I remember a powerful experience
I had with my father.
211
638297
3389
10:55
Several months after
I graduated from college,
212
643821
2647
10:58
my dad had a massive heart attack
that should have killed him.
213
646492
3858
11:03
He survived, and when I asked him
what was going through his mind
214
651033
3214
11:06
as he faced death,
215
654271
1622
11:07
he said all he could think about
was needing to live
216
655917
2683
11:10
so he could be there
for my brother and me,
217
658624
2138
11:12
and this gave him the will
to fight for life.
218
660786
2589
11:16
When he went under anesthesia
for emergency surgery,
219
664063
3298
11:19
instead of counting backwards from 10,
220
667385
2330
11:21
he repeated our names like a mantra.
221
669739
3170
11:25
He wanted our names to be
the last words he spoke on earth
222
673790
3811
11:29
if he died.
223
677625
1225
11:33
My dad is a carpenter and a Sufi.
224
681033
3612
11:37
It's a humble life,
225
685185
1547
11:38
but a good life.
226
686756
1269
11:40
Lying there facing death,
he had a reason to live:
227
688564
3912
11:44
love.
228
692500
1408
11:45
His sense of belonging within his family,
229
693932
2451
11:48
his purpose as a dad,
230
696407
1729
11:50
his transcendent meditation,
repeating our names --
231
698160
3014
11:53
these, he says, are the reasons
why he survived.
232
701198
2781
11:56
That's the story he tells himself.
233
704003
2439
11:59
That's the power of meaning.
234
707747
2150
12:02
Happiness comes and goes.
235
710643
2792
12:05
But when life is really good
236
713459
1849
12:07
and when things are really bad,
237
715332
1889
12:09
having meaning gives you
something to hold on to.
238
717241
3053
12:12
Thank you.
239
720322
1224
12:13
(Applause)
240
721570
3582

▲Back to top

ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Emily Esfahani Smith - Journalist, author
In her book "The Power of Meaning," Emily Esfahani Smith rounds up the latest research -- and the stories of fascinating people she interviewed -- to argue that the search for meaning is far more fulfilling than the pursuit of personal happiness.

Why you should listen

Emily Esfahani Smith is the author of The Power of Meaning: Finding Fulfillment in a World Obsessed With Happiness. In her book and TED Talk, she argues that we're chasing the wrong goal -- a life of meaning, not happiness, should be our aim.

Our culture is obsessed with happiness. Even though we devote vast amounts of time and resources trying to be happier, many of us feel aimless and alienated nonetheless. With depression and loneliness trending upward for decades and the suicide rate rising around the world -- recently reaching a 30-year high in the United States -- it's clear that something is wrong. In recent years, social scientists have been trying to understand what exactly the problem is. What they've found is striking. What predicts the rising tide of despair sweeping across society is not a lack of happiness. It's a lack of something else -- a lack of having meaning in life. In fact, chasing and valuing happiness, the way our culture encourages us to do, can actually make people unhappy.

This set Smith on a journey to understand what constitutes a meaningful life. After extensive research and reporting, she came to see that there are four pillars of a meaningful life -- and she lays them out in her TED Talk. Ultimately, she discovered that the search for meaning is far more fulfilling than the pursuit of personal happiness -- and we all have the power to build more meaning in our lives.

Smith's articles and essays have appeared in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and The Atlantic. The former managing editor of The New Criterion, Smith is also an editor at the Stanford University's Hoover Institution, where she advises the Ben Franklin Circles project, a collaboration with the 92nd Street Y and Citizen University to build meaning in local communities.  

More profile about the speaker
Emily Esfahani Smith | Speaker | TED.com