ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Morgana Bailey - Human resources professional
A human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are.

Why you should listen

“I am in human resources, a profession that works to welcome, connect and encourage the development of employees,” says Morgana Bailey. At State Street, she directs the Global Human Resources data management team, which maintains data records for the company’s approximately 29,000 employees. Morgana collaborates with people across State Street as corporate policies, regulatory requirements and related employee data requirements continually evolve. Her career experiences have confirmed that the only constant is change, and one’s ability — or inability — to adapt can generate profound long-term outcomes.

At TED@StateStreet, Morgana Bailey revealed a part of herself that she had kept supressed for 16 years. She hopes that her openness will inspire others to stop hiding, and be open about who they are in both their personal and professional lives.

More profile about the speaker
Morgana Bailey | Speaker | TED.com
TED@State Street London

Morgana Bailey: The danger of hiding who you are

莫甘娜•柏麗: 隱藏真實自我的危險

Filmed:
3,050,914 views

在過去的 16 年中,莫甘娜•柏麗一直隱藏著真實的自己。然而在這場勇敢的演講中,她終於說出了對別人而言可能微不足道,卻足以讓她昏厥的一句話。為什麼要站出來?因為她發現,沉默對於自己內心、職業生涯以及社交都有著深遠的影響。在她的聽眾暨同事面前,莫甘娜回憶了自己害怕被人評價的經歷,以及那種害怕如何讓我們開始評價自己。
- Human resources professional
A human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:13
When I was young年輕,
I prided自豪 myself as a nonconformist異己
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我年紀尚小時,常為自己
從不墨守成規而感到驕傲。
00:17
in the conservative保守
U.S. state I live生活 in, Kansas堪薩斯.
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那時的我生活在
保守的美國堪薩斯州。
00:22
I didn't follow跟隨 along沿 with the crowd人群.
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我並沒有追隨潮流。
00:24
I wasn't afraid害怕 to try
weird奇怪的 clothing服裝 trends趨勢 or hairstyles髮型.
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勇於嘗試各種奇裝異服或怪異髮型,
00:28
I was outspoken直言不諱 and extremely非常 social社會.
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也常常直言不諱,熱衷於社交。
00:31
Even these pictures圖片 and postcards明信片
of my London倫敦 semester學期 abroad國外 16 years年份 ago
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這些照片是16年前我去倫敦交換
那個學期拍攝的照片和明信片,
00:38
show顯示 that I obviously明顯 didn't care關心
if I was perceived感知 as weird奇怪的 or different不同.
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從中也可以看出我並不在乎
別人是否認為我怪異或另類。
00:44
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
00:46
But that same相同 year
I was in London倫敦, 16 years年份 ago,
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但就在 16 年前,
我在倫敦的那一年,
00:51
I realized實現 something about myself
that actually其實 was somewhat有些 unique獨特,
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我意識到自己身上有些特別之處,
00:56
and that changed everything.
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而那從此改變了一切。
01:01
I became成為 the opposite對面
of who I thought I once一旦 was.
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我竟變得和從前的自己判若兩人。
01:05
I stayed in my room房間
instead代替 of socializing社交.
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我整天待在房間裡,不再出去社交。
01:08
I stopped停止 engaging in clubs會所
and leadership領導 activities活動.
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我不再參與俱樂部和
領導者培訓活動。
01:12
I didn't want to stand out
in the crowd人群 anymore.
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我再也不想在眾人面前特立獨行了。
01:16
I told myself it was because
I was growing生長 up and maturing成熟,
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我告訴自己,那是因為我在長大,
在變得更加成熟,
01:20
not that I was suddenly突然
looking for acceptance驗收.
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而並非因為我突然想要
尋求他人的接受。
01:23
I had always assumed假定 I was immune免疫的
to needing需要 acceptance驗收.
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我之前一直假定自己不需要被接受。
01:26
After all, I was a bit unconventional非傳統的.
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畢竟我還是挺脫俗的。
01:29
But I realize實現 now
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可如今的我意識到,
01:31
that the moment時刻 I realized實現
something was different不同 about me
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我發覺自己有些特立獨行的那一刻,
01:35
was the exact精確 same相同 moment時刻
that I began開始 conforming符合 and hiding.
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正是我開始循規蹈矩、
隱藏自我的那一刻。
01:41
Hiding is a progressive進步 habit習慣,
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隱藏是一種漸進的習慣,
01:44
and once一旦 you start開始 hiding,
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一旦你開始隱藏自己,
01:45
it becomes harder更難 and harder更難
to step forward前鋒 and speak說話 out.
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重新站出來展現自我、表達自我
就會變得越來越艱難。
01:51
In fact事實, even now,
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事實上,即使是現在,
01:53
when I was talking to people
about what this talk was about,
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當我跟別人探討這次演講的內容,
01:57
I made製作 up a cover story故事
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我仍會編造出一個假故事來,
01:59
and I even hid the truth真相
about my TEDTED Talk.
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而我甚至還隱瞞了
要在 TED 演講的真相。
02:04
So it is fitting配件 and scary害怕
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因此這次機會既合時宜,
又令我感到害怕,
02:09
that I have returned
to this city 16 years年份 later後來
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我在十六年後重新回到這個城市,
02:13
and I have chosen選擇 this stage階段
to finally最後 stop hiding.
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並選擇在這個舞台上,
為隱藏自我劃下句點。
02:20
What have I been hiding
for 16 years年份?
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16 年來我都在隱藏什麼呢?
02:26
I am a lesbian女同性戀.
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我是一個女同性戀。
02:29
(Applause掌聲)
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(掌聲)
02:45
Thank you.
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謝謝。
02:48
I've struggled掙扎 to say those words,
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一直以來我掙扎著將這幾個字說出口,
02:50
because I didn't want
to be defined定義 by them.
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因為我不想就此被它們定義。
02:53
Every一切 time I would think
about coming未來 out in the past過去,
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過去每當我想要出櫃時,
02:56
I would think to myself,
but I just want to be known已知 as Morgana摩根娜,
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我都會暗想,我只想做我自己,
03:01
uniquely獨特地 Morgana摩根娜,
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那個獨一無二的莫甘娜,
03:03
but not "my lesbian女同性戀 friend朋友 Morgana摩根娜,"
or "my gay同性戀者 coworker同事 Morgana摩根娜."
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而不是「我的同性戀朋友莫甘娜」,
或者「我的同性戀同事莫甘娜」。
03:08
Just Morgana摩根娜.
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我就是我,莫甘娜。
03:10
For those of you from large
metropolitan宗主 areas,
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對於在座來自大都市的各位來說,
03:14
this may可能 not seem似乎 like a big deal合同 to you.
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這個問題或許根本不值一提。
03:16
It may可能 seem似乎 strange奇怪
that I have suppressed抑制 the truth真相
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或許這看起來甚是奇怪,
我竟然將這個真相
03:19
and hidden this for so long.
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壓抑、隱藏了如此之久。
03:23
But I was paralyzed by my fear恐懼
of not being存在 accepted公認.
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但我被那份不被人接受
的恐懼降服了。
03:28
And I'm not alone單獨, of course課程.
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當然,有相同感受的並非我一人。
03:31
A 2013 Deloitte德勤 study研究 found發現
that a surprisingly出奇 large number of people
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2013 年德勤的一項研究發現,
有相當多的人,多到令人驚訝,
03:36
hide隱藏 aspects方面 of their identity身分.
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都在自己的身份方面有所隱藏。
03:39
Of all the employees僱員 they surveyed調查,
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在這項研究調查的所有僱員中,
03:41
61 percent百分 reported報導 changing改變 an aspect方面
of their behavior行為 or their appearance出現
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有 61% 的人表明他們曾改變
自己某一方面的行為或外表,
03:47
in order訂購 to fit適合 in at work.
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以適應工作環境。
03:49
Of all the gay同性戀者, lesbian女同性戀
and bisexual雙性戀 employees僱員,
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在所有同性戀和雙性戀僱員中,
03:54
83 percent百分 admitted承認 to changing改變
some aspects方面 of themselves他們自己
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83% 的人承認自己
有過某些方面的改變,
03:59
so they would not
appear出現 at work "too gay同性戀者."
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以在工作場合表現得
「不那麼同性戀」。
04:04
The study研究 found發現 that even in companies公司
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研究還發現,甚至在那些
04:07
with diversity多樣 policies政策
and inclusion包容 programs程式,
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有多元化政策和融合性計劃的公司中,
04:11
employees僱員 struggle鬥爭
to be themselves他們自己 at work
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僱員們仍然難以在工作場合做自己,
04:14
because they believe
conformity一致性 is critical危急
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因為他們相信,順從和一致性
04:16
to their long-term長期 career事業 advancement進步.
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對於他們長期的職業發展來說
是至關重要的。
04:20
And while I was surprised詫異
that so many許多 people just like me
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儘管我驚訝於這麼多像我一樣的人
04:25
waste浪費 so much energy能源
trying to hide隱藏 themselves他們自己,
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都浪費了這麼多精力
去試圖隱藏自己,
04:29
I was scared害怕 when I discovered發現
that my silence安靜
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但我還是恐懼的發現,我的沉默
04:33
has life-or-death生或死 consequences後果
and long-term長期 social社會 repercussions反響.
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有著生死攸關的後果
和長期的社會影響。
04:41
Twelve十二 years年份:
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十二年:
04:43
the length長度 by which哪一個
life expectancy期待 is shortened縮短
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壽命預期將會縮短十二年,
04:46
for gay同性戀者, lesbian女同性戀 and bisexual雙性戀 people
in highly高度 anti-gay反同性戀 communities社區
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如果你把那些生活在
極端反同性戀和雙性戀的社區
04:53
compared相比 to accepting驗收 communities社區.
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和相對接納同性戀的社區
相比較的話。
04:56
Twelve十二 years年份 reduced減少 life expectancy期待.
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壽命預期縮短了整整十二年。
05:01
When I read that in The Advocate主張
magazine雜誌 this year,
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今年,當我在同性戀雜誌“Advocate”上
讀到這一條內容時,
05:04
I realized實現 I could no longer
afford給予 to keep silent無聲.
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我意識到自己再也不能
繼續沉默下去了。
05:08
The effects效果 of personal個人 stress強調 and
social社會 stigmas柱頭 are a deadly致命 combination組合.
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個人壓力和社會歧視的結合
會產生致命的結果。
05:16
The study研究 found發現 that gays同性戀者
in anti-gay反同性戀 communities社區
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研究發現,那些生活在
反同性戀社區
05:19
had higher更高 rates利率 of heart disease疾病,
violence暴力 and suicide自殺.
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更有可能會出現心臟疾病、
暴力和自殺。
05:25
What I once一旦 thought
was simply只是 a personal個人 matter
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我之前一直以為這是個私人問題,
05:29
I realized實現 had a ripple波紋 effect影響
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可如今卻意識到它有漣漪效應,
05:31
that went into the workplace職場
and out into the community社區
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影響著工作場合和延伸至社區,
05:33
for every一切 story故事 just like mine.
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就像每一個與我類似的故事一樣。
05:37
My choice選擇 to hide隱藏
and not share分享 who I really am
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我選擇了隱藏自己,
不去分享真實的自我,
05:41
may可能 have inadvertently不經意間 contributed貢獻
to this exact精確 same相同 environment環境
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但這或許在無意間助長了相同的環境
05:45
and atmosphere大氣層 of discrimination區別.
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以及歧視的氛圍。
05:48
I'd always told myself
there's no reason原因 to share分享 that I was gay同性戀者,
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我曾一直告訴自己,
沒有什麼理由告訴別人我是同性戀,
05:53
but the idea理念 that my silence安靜
has social社會 consequences後果
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但我的沉默有著社會影響的這一想法
05:57
was really driven驅動 home this year
when I missed錯過 an opportunity機會
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直到今年才閃入我的腦海,
我一直以來都錯過了
06:02
to change更改 the atmosphere大氣層 of discrimination區別
in my own擁有 home state of Kansas堪薩斯.
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在家鄉堪薩斯州
改變歧視氛圍的一個機會。
06:08
In February二月, the Kansas堪薩斯 House of
Representatives代表 brought up a bill法案 for vote投票
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在二月,堪薩斯州眾議院
提出一項法案待表決,
06:13
that would have essentially實質上
allowed允許 businesses企業
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那將在原則上容許企業
06:16
to use religious宗教 freedom自由 as a reason原因
to deny拒絕 gays同性戀者 services服務.
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以宗教自由為理由,
拒絕為同性戀者提供服務。
06:25
A former前任的 coworker同事 and friend朋友 of mine
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我的一個舊同事兼好友的父親
06:28
has a father父親 who serves供應
in the Kansas堪薩斯 House of Representatives代表.
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在堪薩斯州的眾議院任職。
06:33
He voted in favor偏愛 of the bill法案,
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他對這項法案投了贊成票,
06:38
in favor偏愛 of a law that would allow允許
businesses企業 to not serve服務 me.
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支持了這項容許企業
拒絕為我提供服務的法案。
06:46
How does my friend朋友 feel
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而我的朋友對於同性戀、雙性戀、
變性人、酷兒和對身份困惑的人
06:48
about lesbian女同性戀, gay同性戀者, bisexual雙性戀, transgender變性,
queer同性戀者 and questioning疑問 people?
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是如何看待的呢?
06:53
How does her father父親 feel?
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她的父親對這些人又是如何看待的呢?
06:56
I don't know, because I was never honest誠實
with them about who I am.
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我不知道,因為我從未誠實地
向他們坦白我是同性戀這一事實。
07:02
And that shakes奶昔 me to the core核心.
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而那讓我內心十分震撼。
07:05
What if I had told her my story故事 years年份 ago?
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如果我多年前就把真相告訴她,
事情會怎麼樣呢?
07:09
Could she have told
her father父親 my experience經驗?
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她會將我的經歷告訴她的父親嗎?
07:11
Could I have ultimately最終
helped幫助 change更改 his vote投票?
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我會最終改變他投下的那一票嗎?
07:16
I will never know,
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我永遠都不會知道了,
07:19
and that made製作 me realize實現
I had doneDONE nothing
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而那令我意識到,
自己沒有做出任何努力
07:23
to try to make a difference區別.
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去試著帶來改變。
07:27
How ironic具有諷刺意味 that I work
in human人的 resources資源,
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多麼諷刺啊,我在人力資源部工作,
07:31
a profession職業 that works作品 to welcome歡迎,
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這是一項致力於歡迎、
07:33
connect and encourage鼓勵
the development發展 of employees僱員,
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聯繫並鼓勵僱員發展的職位,
07:37
a profession職業 that advocates倡導者
that the diversity多樣 of society社會
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一項倡導應當在工作場合
07:40
should be reflected反射的 in the workplace職場,
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反映出社會多元化的職位,
07:43
and yet然而 I have doneDONE nothing
to advocate主張 for diversity多樣.
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然而我沒有為倡導多元化
出任何一份力。
07:48
When I came來了 to this company公司 one year ago,
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當我一年前來到這家公司時,
07:51
I thought to myself, this company公司
has anti-discrimination反歧視 policies政策
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我暗想,這家公司有反歧視政策,
07:56
that protect保護 gay同性戀者, lesbian女同性戀,
bisexual雙性戀 and transgender變性 people.
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會保護同性戀、雙性戀和變性人。
08:00
Their commitment承諾 to diversity多樣 is evident明顯
through通過 their global全球 inclusion包容 programs程式.
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他們對多元化的承諾已經在
全球兼容並包項目中得到展現。
08:06
When I walk步行 through通過 the doors
of this company公司, I will finally最後 come out.
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當我走進這家公司的門時,
我終於就可以出櫃了。
08:12
But I didn't.
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可我並沒有。
08:14
Instead代替 of taking服用 advantage優點
of the opportunity機會,
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我並沒有好好利用這個機會,
08:18
I did nothing.
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什麼都沒做。
08:31
(Applause掌聲)
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(掌聲)
08:39
When I was looking through通過
my London倫敦 journal日誌 and scrapbook剪貼簿
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當我翻看 16 年前
在倫敦那個學期的
08:43
from my London倫敦 semester學期
abroad國外 16 years年份 ago,
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倫敦日誌和剪貼簿時,
08:46
I came來了 across橫過 this modified改性 quote引用
from Toni托尼 Morrison's莫里森 book, "Paradise天堂."
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偶然發現一句來自托尼•莫里森的書
「天堂」中的句子。
08:53
"There are more scary害怕 things
inside than outside."
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「源自內心的恐懼比外界更多。」
08:57
And then I wrote a note注意
to myself at the bottom底部:
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然後我在頁尾給自己寫下了:
09:01
"Remember記得 this."
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「記住這句話。」
09:03
I'm sure I was trying to encourage鼓勵 myself
to get out and explore探索 London倫敦,
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我確定當時是在為自己加油鼓勵,
要出去走走,探索倫敦,
09:08
but the message信息 I missed錯過 was the need
to start開始 exploring探索 and embracing擁抱 myself.
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但是我卻忽略了開始探索自己、
悅納自己的需求。
09:15
What I didn't realize實現
until直到 all these years年份 later後來
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這麼多年後我才意識到的是
09:19
is that the biggest最大 obstacles障礙
I will ever have to overcome克服
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我需要跨越的最大障礙
09:24
are my own擁有 fears恐懼 and insecurities不安全感.
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永遠是我自己的恐懼和不安。
09:28
I believe that by facing面對 my fears恐懼 inside,
I will be able能夠 to change更改 reality現實 outside.
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我相信,直接面對自己內心的恐懼,
我將能夠改變外在現實。
09:37
I made製作 a choice選擇 today今天
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今天,我做出決定,
09:39
to reveal揭示 a part部分 of myself
that I have hidden for too long.
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要揭露隱藏了太久太久
的一部份自己。
09:46
I hope希望 that this means手段
I will never hide隱藏 again,
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我希望這意味著我
不會再次隱藏自己,
09:50
and I hope希望 that by coming未來 out today今天,
I can do something to change更改 the data數據
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我也希望透過今天在這裡出櫃,我能夠
為改變那些駭人數據而做出點事情,
09:57
and also to help others其他 who feel different不同
be more themselves他們自己 and more fulfilled完成
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並幫助其他覺得自己與衆不同的人
更加做自己,
10:03
in both their professional專業的
and personal個人 lives生活.
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並在職場和生活中獲得更多滿足。
10:08
Thank you.
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謝謝大家。
10:11
(Applause掌聲)
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(掌聲)
Translated by Sherry Chen
Reviewed by Yamei Huang

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Morgana Bailey - Human resources professional
A human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are.

Why you should listen

“I am in human resources, a profession that works to welcome, connect and encourage the development of employees,” says Morgana Bailey. At State Street, she directs the Global Human Resources data management team, which maintains data records for the company’s approximately 29,000 employees. Morgana collaborates with people across State Street as corporate policies, regulatory requirements and related employee data requirements continually evolve. Her career experiences have confirmed that the only constant is change, and one’s ability — or inability — to adapt can generate profound long-term outcomes.

At TED@StateStreet, Morgana Bailey revealed a part of herself that she had kept supressed for 16 years. She hopes that her openness will inspire others to stop hiding, and be open about who they are in both their personal and professional lives.

More profile about the speaker
Morgana Bailey | Speaker | TED.com