Katie Hood: The difference between healthy and unhealthy love
By educating young people about the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships, Katie Hood hopes to derail abusive behavior before it starts and impact the relationship health of an entire generation. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
a close friend, or a romantic partner,
sadness and disappointment.
a word in the dictionary
are connected to than love.
importance in our lives,
explicitly taught how to love?
home from the hospital
that we'll figure it out.
harm and disrespect the ones we love.
into spending time with you
for their lack of effort at school.
will be on the receiving end
will do unhealthy things.
the harm we inflict on loved ones
and one in four men
when you hear those stats,
that would never happen to me."
from the words "abuse" and "violence,"
to someone else somewhere else.
and abuse are all around us.
and ignore the connection.
disguised in unhealthy love.
Yeardley was killed by her ex-boyfriend.
they realized the warning signs were there
what they were seeing.
or too much drinking,
to be what they really were,
had been educated about these signs,
that Yeardley and her friends didn't.
for talking about a subject
and uncomfortable to discuss;
namely friends, to help;
all of our ability to love better.
to start by illuminating
that we frequently miss,
on creating content
is pretty serious,
one of our more light-hearted
of unhealthy love.
in a couple days. I've missed you.
It feels like a lifetime.
without me for five whole minutes?
I don't know. I do.
don't start out abusive.
of affection and emotion, a rush.
like you've hit the jackpot.
these feelings shift over time
and maybe a little bit suffocating.
new boyfriend or girlfriend
faster than you were ready for
texting and calling a lot.
when you're slow to respond,
you had other things going on that day.
how a relationship starts that matters,
of a new relationship
with the pace of intimacy?
and room to breathe?
to start practicing using your voice
always have Monday Funday.
always have Monday Funday.
Orange 1: It's our Tuesday Snooze Day.
Orange 1: No Friends Day.
is one of the most frequently missed
starts out with this intense desire
when your new boyfriend or girlfriend
from your friends and family,
They're such losers"
They're totally against us"
your prerelationship life.
and activities they cared about before.
every waking minute together,
and sticking to them
to do the same.
is extreme jealousy.
What are you so happy about?
following me on Instagram!
following me, like, everywhere.
begins to fade,
and who you're with all the time,
everywhere, online and off.
possessiveness and mistrust,
of flirting with other people or cheating,
when you tell them
and that you only love them.
of any human relationship,
and angry edge to it.
Orange: I gotta study.
A for amazing. (#thatslove)
Orange: I gotta study.
words are used as weapons.
fun and lighthearted
in a way that hurts,
for laughs at your expense.
that your feelings have been hurt,
and accuse you of overreacting.
What's your problem. Give me a break."
but your partner should have your back.
not break you down.
your secrets and be loyal.
I'd be sad if we broke up.
if we ever broke up.
high highs and low lows:
followed by emotional makeups,
I'm not even sure why I'm with you!"
and promises it will never happen again.
to this relationship roller coaster
and maybe even dangerous
that the more of these markers
your relationship could be.
to break up and leave,
so many of us give our friends
a real trigger for violence.
headed towards abuse or in abuse,
to get the advice on how to leave safely.
about romantic relationships
nearly every relationship in your life.
why you're disappointed in a friendship
with a certain family member
how your own intensity and jealousy
with colleagues at work.
the first step to improving,
every unhealthy relationship healthy --
to have to leave behind --
to do relationships better.
will definitely make you better,
it's also not going to make you perfect.
about healthy relationships,
to shuttle my four kids out the door
and complaints about breakfast,
screen time and dessert
ever enjoy in life!"
and looked at me, and said,
to kill him for calling me out.
I'm actually proud.
to make me pause.
what the bar should be
to use when that bar is not met
relationships as a soft topic,
are one of the most important
that leads to unhealthy love,
the art of being healthy
every aspect of your life.
an instinct and an emotion,
is a skill we can all build
Reviewed by Helen Chang
ABOUT THE SPEAKERKatie Hood - Relationship revolutionary
By educating young people about the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships, Katie Hood hopes to derail abusive behavior before it starts and impact the relationship health of an entire generation.
Why you should listen
As CEO of the One Love Foundation, Katie believes that healthy relationship education is a "simple but shockingly nontraditional solution that can impact millions and drive meaningful change. The problem is hard, but the impact of a scalable prevention approach that talks to young people in a language they can hear at the earliest stages of their dating lives could be massive."
Katie Hood | Speaker | TED.com