ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Celeste Headlee - Writer and radio host
Celeste Headlee's years of interview experience give her a unique perspective on what makes for a good conversation.

Why you should listen

Celeste Headlee hosts a daily news/talk show, On Second Thought, on Georgia Public Broadcasting. 

Headlee has worked in public radio since 1999, as a reporter, host and correspondent. She was the Midwest Correspondent for NPR before becoming the co-host of the PRI show "The Takeaway.” After that, she guest hosted a number of NPR shows including "Tell Me More,” "Talk of the Nation,” "Weekend All Things Considered” and "Weekend Edition". Headlee also anchored election coverage for PBS World in 2012 and was a regular guest on CNN.

Headlee holds multiple degrees in music and still performs as a professional opera singer. She appears on the album “Classically Blue” from gospel artist Lea Gilmore. She's the granddaughter of composer William Grant Still.

More profile about the speaker
Celeste Headlee | Speaker | TED.com
TEDxCreativeCoast

Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation

Celeste Headlee: 改善傾偈嘅十個方法

Filmed:
17,081,256 views

當你份工好睇你同人講嘢有幾叻，你就會學識點樣傾偈。但大部分人都唔識傾偈技巧。Celeste Headlee 做咗幾十年電台節目主持，知道傾偈有咩要素：誠懇、簡潔、清晰同適量嘅聆聽。喺呢場深入嘅演講入面，佢分享改善傾偈嘅十項有用規則。佢話：「行出去，同人傾，聽人講。最重要係，準備被驚喜嘅心。」
- Writer and radio host
Celeste Headlee's years of interview experience give her a unique perspective on what makes for a good conversation. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

有幾多人曾經因為好友
00:12
All right, I want to see a show顯示 of hands手:
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00:14
how many好多 of you have
unfriendedunfriended someone有人 on FacebookFacebook
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喺政治、宗教育兒、糧食議題上
講咗冒犯嘅嘢而喺臉書刪除佢哋？
00:17
because they said something offensive進攻
about politics政治 or religion宗教,
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請舉手
00:21
childcare育兒, food食品?
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（笑聲）
00:23
(Laughter笑聲)
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有幾多人有最少一位朋友
00:25
And how many好多 of you
know at least最小 one person人 that you avoid避免
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因為你唔想同佢傾偈而逃避架？
00:28
because you just don't want
to talk to them?
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00:30
(Laughter笑聲)
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（笑聲）
我哋以前如果想有禮貌咁傾計
00:32
You know, it used to be that in order以
to have a polite禮貌 conversation談話,
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我哋就會聽《窈窕淑女》入面
亨利希金斯嘅話
00:36
we just had to follow遵循 the advice建議
of Henry亨利 Higgins席根斯 in "My Fair公平 Lady女士":
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只講天氣同健康
00:39
Stick堅持 to the weather天氣 and your health健康.
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00:41
But these days天, with climate氣候 change變
and anti-vaxxing抗 vaxxing, those subjects科目 --
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但宜家因為氣候轉變、反疫苗嘅討論
（笑聲）
00:44
(Laughter笑聲)
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天氣同健康嘅話題都唔再安全嘞
00:46
are not safe安全 either一係.
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00:47
So this world世界 that we live住 in,
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我哋身處嘅呢個世界係唔正常
00:50
this world世界 in which的 every每 conversation談話
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任何傾偈都有可能演變成爭執
00:53
has the potential昧
to devolve下放 into an argument參數,
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而政客，會無法同其他政客溝通
00:55
where our politicians政治家
can't speak說 to one another另一個
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連最微不足道嘅事
00:57
and where even the most最 trivial濕濕碎 of issues個問題
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都有人激烈地支持同反對
00:59
have someone有人 fighting戰鬥 both噉 passionately熱情
for it and against啱 it, it's not normal正常.
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皮尤研究中心研究咗一萬名美國成人
01:04
Pew皮尤 Research研究 did a study研究
of 10,000 American美國 adults成人,
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發現今時今日嘅人
01:08
and they found發現 that at this moment時刻,
we are more polarized極化,
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係歷史上最極端、最分化嘅人
01:10
we are more divided劃分,
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01:12
than we ever have been in history歷史.
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我哋唔再輕易妥協
01:14
We're less少 likely可能 to compromise妥協,
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即係話我哋唔再聆聽對方
01:16
which的 means意味着 we're
not listening听 to each每個 other.
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我哋選擇居所、伴侶，甚至朋友時
01:18
And we make decisions決定 about where to live住,
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01:21
who to marry嫁畀 and even
who our friends朋友 are going to be,
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只係按個人已有嘅信念
01:23
based基於 on what we already晒 believe.
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即係話我哋唔再聆聽對方
01:26
Again, that means意味着
we're not listening听 to each每個 other.
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雖然傾偈需要平衡講同聽
01:29
A conversation談話 requires需要 a balance平衡
between之間 talking講嘢 and listening听,
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但逐漸地，我哋失去咗呢種平衝
01:32
and somewhere地方 along沿 the way,
we lost失去 that balance平衡.
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當中部分原因係因為科技
01:35
Now, part部分 of that is due由于 to technology技術.
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因為你手上面或者
擺喺附近嘅智能電話
01:37
The smartphones智能手機 that you all
either一係 have in your hands手
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01:39
or close關閉 enough夠 that you could
grab抓住 them really quickly迅速.
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根據皮尤研究
01:42
According根據 to Pew皮尤 Research研究,
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三分一美國青年每日傳過百則短訊
01:43
about a third第三 of American美國 teenagers青少年
send發送 more than a hundred百 texts文本 a day.
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當中大多數，幾乎全部，寧願傳短訊
01:48
And many好多 of them, almost爭 D most最 of them,
are more likely可能 to text文本 their佢哋 friends朋友
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都唔同朋友面對面傾偈
01:53
than they are to talk
to them face塊面 to face塊面.
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01:56
There's this great piece一塊 in The Atlantic大西洋.
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《大西洋月刊》曾經有篇佳作
作者係一名高中老師叫保羅班韋
01:58
It was written写 by a high高 school學校 teacher先生
named叫 Paul保羅 BarnwellBarnwell.
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佢畀佢小朋友做一份溝通習作
02:01
And he gave畀 his kids孩子
a communication通信 project項目.
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教佢哋點樣唔靠筆記去傾特定話題
02:03
He wanted to teach教 them how to speak說
on a specific特定 subject主題 without冇 using使用 notes筆記.
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佢話：「我發現…」
02:06
And he said this: "I came來 to realize實現..."
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（笑聲）
02:08
(Laughter笑聲)
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「我發現說話能力
02:12
"I came來 to realize實現
that conversational會話 competence能力
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可能係教育裡面最常被忽視嘅技能。
02:15
might可能 be the single單
most最 overlooked忽視 skill技能 we fail炒 to teach教.
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小朋友每日花幾個鐘透過螢幕
獲取意念同交換想法，
02:19
Kids孩子 spend花 hours小時 each每個 day engaging從事
with ideas想法 and each每個 other through透過 screens屏幕,
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但鮮有機會磨練人際溝通能力。
02:23
but rarely好少 do they have an opportunity機會
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02:25
to hone磨練 their佢哋 interpersonal人際
communications通信 skills技能.
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02:28
It might可能 sound聲音 like a funny有趣 question個問題,
but we have to ask問吓 ourselves自己:
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我哋要問自己一條睇落好笑嘅問題︰
廿一世紀到底有無一種技能
02:31
Is there any 21st-centuryst 世紀 skill技能
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02:33
more important重要 than being被 able能 to sustain維持
coherent相干, confident自信 conversation談話?"
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比起說話有條理、有自信更緊要？」
我宜家靠同人傾偈搵食
02:39
Now, I make my living生活 talking講嘢 to people:
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客人有諾貝爾獎得主、貨車司機
02:41
Nobel諾貝爾 Prize獎 winners贏家, truck貨車 drivers司機,
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億萬富豪、幼兒園老師
02:43
billionaires億萬富翁, kindergarten幼稚園 teachers教師,
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國家元首、水管工人
02:46
heads頭 of state狀態, plumbers水喉工.
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鍾意嘅同唔鍾意嘅人我都會同佢哋傾
02:48
I talk to people that I like.
I talk to people that I don't like.
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我同一啲我個人嚟講
好唔認同嘅人傾偈
02:51
I talk to some people that I disagree反對 with
deeply深深 on a personal人 level水平.
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但我哋之間嘅對話始終好開心
02:55
But I still have
a great conversation談話 with them.
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我想用接著落嚟十分鐘
02:58
So I'd like to spend花 the next下 10 minutes分鐘
or so teaching教學 you how to talk
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教你哋說話同聆聽
03:02
and how to listen.
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03:04
Many好多 of you have already晒 heard聽到
a lot of advice建議 on this,
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你哋好多人都聽過唔少建議
例如保持眼神交流
03:07
things like look the person人 in the eye眼睛,
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預先諗好有趣嘅話題去講
03:09
think of interesting有趣 topics主題
to discuss討論 in advance進展,
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用眼神、點頭同微笑
表示你係留心對話嘅
03:13
look, nod點頭 and smile微笑 to show顯示
that you're paying支付 attention注意,
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以及講返或者總結你啱啱聽到嘅
03:18
repeat重複 back what you just heard聽到
or summarize總結 it.
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但我想你哋通通忘記呢啲建議
03:21
So I want you to forget唔記得 all of that.
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呢啲建議太垃圾喇
03:22
It is crap廢話.
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03:24
(Laughter笑聲)
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（笑聲）
如果你真係有留心聽人哋講嘢
03:27
There is no reason原因 to learn學習
how to show顯示 you're paying支付 attention注意
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根本唔洗學點樣表現你專心
03:31
if you are in fact事實 paying支付 attention注意.
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（笑聲）
03:35
(Laughter笑聲)
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（掌聲）
03:36
(Applause掌聲)
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我平時用嘅技巧
03:39
Now, I actually講真 use the exact確切
same相同 skills技能 as a professional專業 interviewer面試官
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同我做專業面試官時嘅一樣
03:43
that I do in regular定期 life.
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03:46
So, I'm going to teach教 you
how to interview面試 people,
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所以我會教你哋點樣訪問人
令你哋交談裏面更善辭令
03:49
and that's actually講真 going to help you
learn學習 how to be better conversationalists長氣.
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首先要學識唔好畀對話
浪費你嘅時間同令你覺得悶
03:53
Learn學習 to have a conversation談話
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03:55
without冇 wasting嘥晒 your time,
without冇 getting得到 bored無聊,
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03:57
and, please God,
without冇 offending冒犯 anybody任何人.
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更重要係唔好冒犯到人
我哋都試過傾得好暢快
04:00
We've我哋都 all had really great conversations對話.
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即係話我哋知道好嘅交談係點嘅樣
04:03
We've我哋都 had them before.
We know what it's like.
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04:05
The kind一種 of conversation談話 where you
walk走 away feeling感覺 engaged經營 and inspired啟發,
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就好似你傾完之後覺得
真係有參與到討論同獲得啓發
又或者傾完之後你覺得同人關係密切
04:09
or where you feel
like you've made作出 a real真正 connection連接
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或者人哋完全明白你
04:11
or you've been perfectly完全 understood理解.
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大部分嘅交談都唔應該有原因
做唔到上面嘅嘢
04:13
There is no reason原因
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04:14
why most最 of your interactions相互作用
can't be like that.
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所以我定咗十項基本規則
我會同你哋講解下
04:18
So I have 10 basic基本 rules規則.
I'm going to walk走 you through透過 all of them,
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但講真，只要熟練其中一項
04:21
but honestly真係, if you just choose選擇
one of them and master主人 it,
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你就已經可以傾得更加好
04:25
you'll你咪會 already晒 enjoy享受 better conversations對話.
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第一：唔好同時做多過一樣嘢
04:27
Number數量 one: Don't multitask任務.
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我意思係唔止放低電話
平板、車匙或者手頭上嘅嘢
04:30
And I don't mean
just set設置 down your cell細胞 phone電話
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04:32
or your tablet片 or your car架車 keys鎖匙
or whatever無論 is in your hand手.
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我指嘅係，你嘅靈魂要喺度
04:35
I mean, be present目前.
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要留心嗰陣時嘅嘢
04:37
Be in that moment時刻.
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唔好諗之前同上司嘅爭執
04:39
Don't think about your argument參數
you had with your boss老闆.
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04:42
Don't think about what
you're going to have for dinner晚餐.
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唔好諗今晚食乜
如果唔想同人傾偈，不如就唔傾好過
04:44
If you want to get out
of the conversation談話,
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04:46
get out of the conversation談話,
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唔好勉強撐落去，又心不在焉咁
04:48
but don't be half一半 in it
and half一半 out of it.
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第二：唔好霸住嚟講
04:50
Number數量 two: Don't pontificate高論.
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如果你只抒己見
04:52
If you want to state狀態 your opinion意見
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又唔回應、拗、反駁或引伸
04:55
without冇 any opportunity機會 for response響應
or argument參數 or pushback托手踭 or growth增長,
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咁去寫網誌啦
05:01
write写 a blog博客.
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（笑聲）
05:02
(Laughter笑聲)
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我之所以唔邀請學者上節目
05:05
Now, there's a really good reason原因
why I don't allow允許 pundits專家 on my show顯示:
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有一個好好嘅理由
05:09
Because they're really boring無聊.
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就係佢哋太無聊喇
如果係保守派
05:10
If they're conservative保守, they're going to
hate討厭 Obama奧巴馬 and food食品 stamps郵票 and abortion流產.
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佢哋一定憎奧巴馬、糧票同墮胎
如果係自由派
05:14
If they're liberal自由, they're going to hate討厭
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就一定憎大銀行、油公司同迪克切尼
05:16
big大 banks銀行 and oil油 corporations公司
and Dick迪克 Cheney切尼.
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完全估計得到
05:18
Totally完全 predictable預測.
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但你唔想傾偈變成咁樣
05:20
And you don't want to be like that.
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每次傾偈，你都要當你會學到啲嘢
05:21
You need to enter進入 every每 conversation談話
assuming假設 that you have something to learn學習.
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知名精神科醫生派克話
05:27
The famed著名 therapist心理醫生 M. Scott斯科特 Peck啄 said
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真正嘅聆聽需要放下自己
05:29
that true真係 listening听 requires需要
a setting設置 aside一邊 of oneself自己.
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所以要放下己見
05:34
And sometimes有時 that means意味着
setting設置 aside一邊 your personal人 opinion意見.
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05:38
He said that sensing傳感 this acceptance接受,
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佢話，說話者認同呢段說話嘅話
內心就會愈嚟愈堅強
05:41
the speaker揚聲器 will become成為
less少 and less少 vulnerable脆弱
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愈係會對聽者開放內心嘅深處
05:43
and more and more likely可能
to open打開 up the inner內 recesses凹槽
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05:46
of his or her mind介意 to the listener聽眾.
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同樣地，假設你會從傾偈裏面學到嘢
05:49
Again, assume假設 that you have
something to learn學習.
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05:52
Bill條例草案 Nye约瑟夫·奈: "Everyone個個都 you will ever meet滿足
knows知 something that you don't."
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比爾奈話：你遇到嘅每一個人
都識一啲你唔識得嘅嘢
05:57
I put it this way:
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對於呢番話，我會演譯為︰
05:58
Everybody大家 is an expert專家 in something.
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每個人都係某方面嘅專家
06:03
Number數量 three三: Use open-ended不限成員名額 questions個問題.
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第三：善用開放式問題
呢方面可以學學記者
06:06
In this case情況下, take a cue貼士 from journalists記者.
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以「何時、何地、何人
何物、為何、如何」開始發問
06:08
Start初時 your questions個問題 with who,
what, when, where, why or how.
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06:11
If you put in a complicated複雜 question個問題,
you're going to get a simple簡單 answer回答 out.
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如果你問複雜嘅問題
你只會得到簡單嘅答案
如果我問你：你當時驚唔驚？
06:14
If I ask問吓 you, "Were you terrified害怕?"
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你會按句子最有力嘅字眼去答
06:17
you're going to respond響應 to the most最
powerful強大 word詞 in that sentence句子,
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即係「驚」呢個字
06:20
which的 is "terrified害怕," and the answer回答 is
"Yes, I was" or "No, I wasn't唔係."
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所以答案會係「係」或「唔係」
－你嬲唔嬲？
－係，好嬲
06:23
"Were you angry嬲?" "Yes, I was very angry嬲."
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由佢哋描述，佢哋先係體會嘅一方
06:25
Let them describe描述 it.
They're the ones的 that know.
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嘗試問：當時係點㗎？有咩感覺？
06:28
Try asking問吓 them things like,
"What was that like?"
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06:31
"How did that feel?"
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06:33
Because then they might可能 have to stop
for a moment時刻 and think about it,
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因為佢哋或者會停低思考
所以你就會有機會得到更有趣嘅答案
06:37
and you're going to get
a much more interesting有趣 response響應.
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第四：順其自然
06:40
Number數量 four四: Go with the flow流.
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意思係有一啲諗法突然間會有
06:43
That means意味着 thoughts思想
will come into your mind介意
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但你需要忘記啲諗法
06:46
and you need to let them
go out of your mind介意.
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因為我哋都有睇過一啲訪問
06:49
We've我哋都 heard聽到 interviews採訪 often經常
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06:51
in which的 a guest客人 is talking講嘢
for several幾個 minutes分鐘
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啲嘉賓講咗幾分鐘嘢
然之後主持問返問題
06:54
and then the host主機 comes來 back in
and asks問吓 a question個問題
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但啲問題可能無關或者已經討論過
06:56
which的 seems好似 like it comes來 out of nowhere無處,
or it's already晒 been answered回答.
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咁就反映咗主持頭先嗰兩分鐘無聽到
07:00
That means意味着 the host主機 probably可能
stopped停止 listening听 two minutes分鐘 ago前
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07:02
because he thought
of this really clever醒 question個問題,
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主持以為條問題好聰明，佢一定要問到
07:06
and he was just bound绑定
and determined確定 to say that.
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但其實我哋同個主持都一樣
07:09
And we do the exact確切 same相同 thing.
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當我哋坐低同人傾偈時
07:11
We're sitting坐 there having有
a conversation談話 with someone有人,
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我哋竟然會諗返嗰日
喺咖啡室撞到明星 Hugh Jackman
07:14
and then we remember記得 that time
that we met遇到 Hugh休 Jackman杰克曼 in a coffee咖啡 shop店.
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（笑聲）
07:17
(Laughter笑聲)
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於是我哋就無再聽
07:18
And we stop listening听.
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事情同想法必然會喺你腦海閃過
07:20
Stories故事 and ideas想法
are going to come to you.
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但你要學識唔好分心諗咗去其他嘢度
07:22
You need to let them come and let them go.
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07:26
Number數量 five五: If you don't know,
say that you don't know.
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第五：唔識就話唔識
07:30
Now, people on the radio無線電,
especially尤其係 on NPRNpr,
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電台，尤其是公共廣播電台上嘅人
佢哋清楚知道自己係開梗咪
07:33
are much more aware知
that they're going on the record記錄,
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所以佢哋好小心喺咩事情上
稱自己做專家
07:36
and so they're more careful小心
about what they claim索賠 to be an expert專家 in
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同埋好小心咁講佢哋肯定知道嘅嘢
07:39
and what they claim索賠 to know for sure.
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你都應該咁，小心駛得萬年船
07:41
Do that. Err犯錯 on the side一邊 of caution謹慎.
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而且一言千金
07:44
Talk should not be cheap平.
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07:46
Number數量 six六: Don't equate等同
your experience經驗 with theirs佢哋.
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第六：唔好騎劫人哋嘅經歷
07:51
If they're talking講嘢
about having有 lost失去 a family家庭 member成員,
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例如人哋講梗親人過身
你就唔好講你親戚去世個陣嘅嘢
07:54
don't start初時 talking講嘢 about the time
you lost失去 a family家庭 member成員.
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當人哋講梗工作窘境
07:56
If they're talking講嘢 about the trouble唔該
they're having有 at work,
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就唔好反過嚟抱怨自己份工
07:59
don't tell them about
how much you hate討厭 your job工作.
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你同人哋嘅經歷唔同，從來都唔會一樣
08:02
It's not the same相同. It is never the same相同.
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經歷係好個人嘅
08:04
All experiences經驗 are individual人.
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而且人哋嘅經歷唔屬於你
08:05
And, more importantly重要,
it is not about you.
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唔好喺人哋分享梗嗰陣
同人講自己有幾勁幾慘
08:09
You don't need to take that moment時刻
to prove證明 how amazing驚人 you are
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08:13
or how much you've suffered遭受.
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08:15
Somebody有人 asked問吓 Stephen斯蒂芬 Hawking霍金 once一旦
what his IQ智商 was, and he said,
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有人問霍金佢智商幾高
佢話：「唔知。
自誇智商嘅都係傻瓜。」
08:18
"I have no idea想法. People who brag吹牛
about their佢哋 IQs智商 are losers失敗者."
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08:21
(Laughter笑聲)
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（笑聲）
傾偈唔係攞嚟推廣自己
08:23
Conversations對話 are not
a promotional促銷 opportunity機會.
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08:28
Number數量 seven七:
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第七：唔好重複說話
08:31
Try not to repeat重複 yourself自己.
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咁樣畀人感覺高傲又乏味
08:32
It's condescending居高臨下,
and it's really boring無聊,
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08:35
and we tend往往 to do it a lot.
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但我哋偏偏成日都咁做
尤其同同事、小朋友講嘢個陣
08:36
Especially尤其係 in work conversations對話
or in conversations對話 with our kids孩子,
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我哋為咗表明諗法，不斷講同一番說話
08:40
we have a pointD to make,
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08:42
so we just keep rephrasing改寫 it
over and over.
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唔好咁樣做
08:45
Don't do that.
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第八：唔需要講細節
08:46
Number數量 eight八: Stay留 out of the weeds雜草.
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講真，人哋根本唔在意
08:49
Frankly坦率地說, people don't care護理
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年份、名、日期等嘅細節
08:52
about the years年, the names名字,
186
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08:54
the dates日期, all those details細節
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就算你就好努力去記都好
08:56
that you're struggling掙扎
to come up with in your mind介意.
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人哋都唔在意，佢哋關心嘅係你
08:59
They don't care護理.
What they care護理 about is you.
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想知你係點樣嘅人
09:01
They care護理 about what you're like,
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同你有咩共同之處
09:04
what you have in common常見.
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忘記啲瑣碎細節啦
09:05
So forget唔記得 the details細節. Leave離開 them out.
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傾偈嗰陣唔好講細節
09:08
Number數量 nine九:
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第九：
呢點雖然唔係壓軸
但係係最關鍵嘅一項
09:10
This is not the last one,
but it is the most最 important重要 one.
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聆聽
09:13
Listen.
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09:14
I cannot唔可以 tell you how many好多
really important重要 people have said
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我數唔清有幾多重要人物曾經講過
聆聽係最重要嘅技能
09:18
that listening听 is perhaps或者 the most最,
the number數量 one most最 important重要 skill技能
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仲係可以培養嘅技能
09:22
that you could develop發展.
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09:23
Buddha佛 said, and I'm paraphrasing意譯,
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佛陀話過，我喺度引述返︰
09:25
"If your mouth嘴 is open打開,
you're not learning學習."
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「開口時非學習時」
前美國總統卡爾文話：
無人會因為多聽而失業
09:28
And Calvin卡尔文 Coolidge柯立芝 said, "No man
ever listened听 his way out of a job工作."
201
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09:32
(Laughter笑聲)
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（笑聲）
點解我哋唔聆聽人哋？
09:34
Why do we not listen to each每個 other?
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09:36
Number數量 one, we'd我哋會 rather而 talk.
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第一，我哋寧願講嘢
當我講梗嘢，我就控制個局
09:39
When I'm talking講嘢, I'm in control控制.
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我唔洗聽冇興趣嘅嘢
09:41
I don't have to hear聽到 anything
I'm not interested興趣 in.
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我就係大家目光嘅焦點
09:43
I'm the center中心 of attention注意.
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我可以藉著講嘢嚟強化自己身份
09:45
I can bolster支持 my own自己 identity身份.
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09:47
But there's another另一個 reason原因:
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仲有一個原因：我哋會分心
09:48
We get distracted分心.
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09:50
The average平均 person人 talks會談
at about 225 word詞 per每 minute分鐘,
211
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常人每分鐘講到大概 225 個字
09:53
but we can listen at up to
500 words的話 per每 minute分鐘.
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但每分鐘就聽到最多 500 字
於是我哋個腦喺人哋講嘢嗰陣
就用剩低 275 字諗其他嘢
09:57
So our minds頭腦 are filling填充 in
those other 275 words的話.
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我知道要認真聽人哋講嘢
係要花費精神同心機
10:01
And look, I know,
it takes effort努力 and energy能源
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10:05
to actually講真 pay支付 attention注意 to someone有人,
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但如果無留心就唔係傾緊偈
10:07
but if you can't do that,
you're not in a conversation談話.
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因為你哋只係喺同一笪地方
10:10
You're just two people shouting嗌 out
barely爭 D related相關 sentences句子
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對喊梗冇乜相關嘅嘢
10:13
in the same相同 place地方.
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（笑聲）
10:14
(Laughter笑聲)
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你要聆聽人哋
10:16
You have to listen to one another另一個.
220
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史蒂芬 · 柯維講得好好
10:19
Stephen斯蒂芬 Covey柯维 said it very beautifully靚.
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佢話：大多數人聆聽唔係因為想理解
10:20
He said, "Most最 of us don't listen
with the intent意圖 to understand理解.
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而係想回應
10:24
We listen with the intent意圖 to reply答覆."
223
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10:28
One more rule規則, number數量 10,
and it's this one: Be brief簡短.
224
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最後，第十：簡短
「好嘅交談就好似迷你裙咁，
10:32
[A good conversation談話 is like a miniskirt迷你裙;
short短 enough夠 to retain保留 interest興趣,
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短到可以引人入勝，
10:36
but long enough夠 to cover覆蓋
the subject主題. -- My Sister亞妹]
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但亦都長到覆蓋到重點。」
呢句係我家姐講嘅
（笑聲）
10:38
(Laughter笑聲)
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10:40
(Applause掌聲)
228
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（掌聲）
以上所有都可以濃縮成一個基本概念︰
10:42
All of this boils沸騰 down to the same相同
basic基本 concept概念, and it is this one:
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你要展示你係有興趣聆聽
10:47
Be interested興趣 in other people.
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我公公好出名，我嘅成長少唔去公公
10:50
You know, I grew增長 up
with a very famous著名 grandfather祖父,
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10:52
and there was kind一種 of a ritual儀式 in my home.
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屋企有個習俗
人哋會走嚟同我公公婆婆傾偈
10:54
People would come over
to talk to my grandparents祖父母,
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佢哋走咗之後，我阿媽走過嚟問我哋︰
10:57
and after they would leave離開,
my mother母親 would come over to us,
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「知唔知佢哋係邊個？
11:00
and she'd佢會 say, "Do you know who that was?
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呢個係美國選美亞軍。
11:02
She was the runner-up亞軍 to Miss咩 America美國.
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嗰個係沙加緬度市長。
11:03
He was the mayor市長 of Sacramento薩剋拉門託.
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呢嗰個贏過普立茲獎。
11:05
She won贏得 a Pulitzer普利策 Prize獎.
He's a Russian俄文 ballet芭蕾 dancer舞者."
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而呢個係俄羅斯巷蕾舞者。」
11:08
And I kind一種 of grew增長 up assuming假設
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所以我成長裏邊一直覺得
每人都隱藏住好犀利嘅特質
11:12
everyone個個都 has some hidden隱藏,
amazing驚人 thing about them.
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講真，咁樣至令我成為更優秀主持
11:15
And honestly真係, I think
it's what makes使 me a better host主機.
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我盡量唔講嘢，用開放態度睇事情
11:19
I keep my mouth嘴 shut關閉
as often經常 as I possibly可能 can,
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11:22
I keep my mind介意 open打開,
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同埋成日準備受驚喜嘅心
11:23
and I'm always prepared準備 to be amazed驚訝,
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而我係從未失望過
11:26
and I'm never disappointed失望.
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你跟住我做，出去同人傾偈，聆聽佢哋
11:28
You do the same相同 thing.
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11:30
Go out, talk to people,
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11:33
listen to people,
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最重要係要有被驚喜嘅準備
11:34
and, most最 importantly重要,
be prepared準備 to be amazed驚訝.
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11:38
Thanks多謝.
250
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多謝
（掌聲）
11:39
(Applause掌聲)
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Translated by Hiuman Ma
Reviewed by Chak Lam Wan

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Celeste Headlee - Writer and radio host
Celeste Headlee's years of interview experience give her a unique perspective on what makes for a good conversation.

Why you should listen

Celeste Headlee hosts a daily news/talk show, On Second Thought, on Georgia Public Broadcasting. 

Headlee has worked in public radio since 1999, as a reporter, host and correspondent. She was the Midwest Correspondent for NPR before becoming the co-host of the PRI show "The Takeaway.” After that, she guest hosted a number of NPR shows including "Tell Me More,” "Talk of the Nation,” "Weekend All Things Considered” and "Weekend Edition". Headlee also anchored election coverage for PBS World in 2012 and was a regular guest on CNN.

Headlee holds multiple degrees in music and still performs as a professional opera singer. She appears on the album “Classically Blue” from gospel artist Lea Gilmore. She's the granddaughter of composer William Grant Still.

More profile about the speaker
Celeste Headlee | Speaker | TED.com
THE ORIGINAL VIDEO ON TED.COM