TED2014
Elizabeth Gilbert: Success, failure and the drive to keep creating
Elizabeth Gilbert: Edu, läbikukkumine ja loomise tung
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Elizabeth Gilbert oli kunagi "kirjanikuhakatisest ettekandja", kelle töid ei avaldatud ja keda muserdasid äraütlevad kirjad. Kuigi raamat "Söö. Palveta. Armasta." oli ülimenukas, leidis ta end tugevalt samastumas endise minaga. Gilbert selgitab oma kogemusele tuginedes ülimalt värvikalt ja selgelt, miks võib edu olla sama segadust tekitav kui ebaõnnestumine. Ta jagab meiega lihtsat, ent samas nii keerulist viisi, kuidas endale kindlaks jääda ja tulemustest sõltumata oma teed edasi rühkida.
Elizabeth Gilbert - Writer
The author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both. Full bio
The author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
So, a few years ago I was at JFK Airport
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Olin mõne aasta eest JFK lennujaamas,
just lennukile astumas,
just lennukile astumas,
00:15
about to get on a flight,
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00:17
when I was approached by two women
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kui mulle lähenesid kaks naist,
kelle puhul julgen arvata,
kelle puhul julgen arvata,
00:19
who I do not think would be insulted
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et nad ei pahandaks,
kui kirjeldaksin neid nii:
kui kirjeldaksin neid nii:
00:21
to hear themselves described
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00:22
as tiny old tough-talking Italian-American broads.
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pisikesed sõnakad Itaalia
päritolu Ameerika mutid.
päritolu Ameerika mutid.
00:26
The taller one, who is like up here,
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Neist pikem, kes oli mulle umbes siiani,
00:29
she comes marching up to me, and she goes,
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marssis minu juurde ja ütles:
00:31
"Honey, I gotta ask you something.
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"Kullake, ma pean sinult midagi küsima.
00:33
You got something to do with that whole
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Kas sa oled kuidagi seotud
00:35
'Eat, Pray, Love' thing that's been going on lately?"
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selle söö-palveta-armasta-värgiga,
mis viimasel ajal lahti on läinud?"
mis viimasel ajal lahti on läinud?"
00:38
And I said, "Yes, I did."
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Ma vastasin: "Jah, olen küll."
00:40
And she smacks her friend and she goes,
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Ta müksas oma sõpra ja ütles:
00:42
"See, I told you, I said, that's that girl.
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"Näed, ma ütlesin ju, et see on tema.
00:44
That's that girl who wrote that book
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Tema ongi see tüdruk,
00:46
based on that movie."
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kes selle filmi põhjal raamatu kirjutas."
(Naer)
00:48
(Laughter)
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00:50
So that's who I am.
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Nii et see ma siis olengi.
00:52
And believe me, I'm extremely
grateful to be that person,
grateful to be that person,
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Uskuge mind - olen väga tänulik,
et saan olla see inimene,
et saan olla see inimene,
00:56
because that whole "Eat, Pray, Love" thing
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sest "Söö. Palveta. Armasta."
00:58
was a huge break for me.
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oli minu jaoks tohutu läbimurre.
01:00
But it also left me in a really tricky position
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Samas pani see mu kirjanikuna
üsna keerulisse olukorda,
üsna keerulisse olukorda,
01:02
moving forward as an author
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sest pidin nüüd välja nuputama,
01:04
trying to figure out how in the world
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kuidas kirjutada järgmine raamat,
01:06
I was ever going to write a book again
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01:07
that would ever please anybody,
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mis vastaks inimeste ootustele.
01:09
because I knew well in advance
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Ma teadsin seda juba ette,
01:11
that all of those people who
had adored "Eat, Pray, Love"
had adored "Eat, Pray, Love"
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et kõik, kes jumaldasid raamatut
"Söö. Palveta. Armasta",
"Söö. Palveta. Armasta",
01:14
were going to be incredibly disappointed
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pettuksid igal juhul meeletult,
01:15
in whatever I wrote next
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ükskõik, mida ma järgmiseks kirjutaksin,
01:17
because it wasn't going to be "Eat, Pray, Love,"
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sest see poleks enam see raamat.
01:19
and all of those people who
had hated "Eat, Pray, Love"
had hated "Eat, Pray, Love"
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Ja kõik need, kes seda raamatut vihkasid,
01:21
were going to be incredibly disappointed
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pettuksid samamoodi väga,
01:22
in whatever I wrote next
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mida iganes ma kirjutaksin,
01:24
because it would provide evidence that I still lived.
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sest see näitaks, et olen ikka veel elus.
01:26
So I knew that I had no way to win,
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Seega teadsin, et olen igal juhul kaotaja.
01:30
and knowing that I had no way to win
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Teadmine, et mul pole võimalustki võita,
01:32
made me seriously consider for a while
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pani mind tõsiselt mõtlema,
01:34
just quitting the game
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et löön kõigele käega
01:35
and moving to the country to raise corgis.
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ja kolin hoopis maale korgisid kasvatama.
01:39
But if I had done that, if I had given up writing,
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Kui oleksin kirjutamisest loobunud,
01:41
I would have lost my beloved vocation,
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oleksin kaotanud oma armastatud elukutse.
01:43
so I knew that the task was that I had to find
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Seega teadsin, et pean leidma
01:45
some way to gin up the inspiration
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mingi viisi inspiratsiooni ammutamiseks,
01:48
to write the next book
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et kirjutada järgmine teos,
01:49
regardless of its inevitable negative outcome.
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hoolimata vältimatust
negatiivsest tulemusest.
negatiivsest tulemusest.
01:52
In other words, I had to find a way to make sure
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Kuidagimoodi pidin tegema nii,
01:53
that my creativity survived its own success.
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et mu loovus
ei kannataks mu edukuse tõttu.
ei kannataks mu edukuse tõttu.
01:56
And I did, in the end, find that inspiration,
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Lõpuks ma leidsingi selle inspiratsiooni,
01:58
but I found it in the most unlikely
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kuid kõige ebatõenäolisemast
ja ootamatumast kohast.
ja ootamatumast kohast.
02:00
and unexpected place.
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02:01
I found it in lessons that I had learned earlier in life
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Leidsin selle õppetundidest,
mille elu jooksul saanud olin -
mille elu jooksul saanud olin -
02:04
about how creativity can survive its own failure.
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selle kohta, kuidas loovus
elab üle oma ebaõnnestumised.
elab üle oma ebaõnnestumised.
02:08
So just to back up and explain,
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Selgituseks teile -
02:09
the only thing I have ever wanted to be
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olen terve elu unistanud
ainult kirjanikuks saamisest.
ainult kirjanikuks saamisest.
02:11
for my whole life was a writer.
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02:13
I wrote all through childhood,
all through adolescence,
all through adolescence,
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Kirjutasin terve lapsepõlve ja noorukiea.
02:15
by the time I was a teenager I was sending
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Teismelisena saatsin ma
02:17
my very bad stories to The New Yorker,
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oma väga halbu jutte New Yorkerile,
lootes silma jääda.
lootes silma jääda.
02:19
hoping to be discovered.
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02:20
After college, I got a job as a diner waitress,
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Pärast ülikooli läksin tööle ettekandjana.
02:23
kept working, kept writing,
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Ma muudkui töötasin ja kirjutasin.
02:25
kept trying really hard to get published,
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Nägin palju vaeva, et mu töid avaldataks,
02:27
and failing at it.
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kuid see ei õnnestunud.
02:29
I failed at getting published
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Mu töid ei avaldatud
02:30
for almost six years.
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peaaegu kuus aastat.
02:32
So for almost six years, every single day,
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Peaaegu kuus aastat iga päev
02:34
I had nothing but rejection letters
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leidsin oma postkastist
ainult äraütlevaid kirju.
ainult äraütlevaid kirju.
02:35
waiting for me in my mailbox.
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02:37
And it was devastating every single time,
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Olin iga kord väga löödud
02:39
and every single time, I had to ask myself
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ja küsisin endalt alatihti,
02:41
if I should just quit while I was behind
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äkki oleks targem lõpetada,
02:43
and give up and spare myself this pain.
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anda alla ja säästa end haiget saamisest.
02:47
But then I would find my resolve,
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Ent siis leidsin taas jõu,
iga kord samamoodi.
iga kord samamoodi.
02:48
and always in the same way,
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02:50
by saying, "I'm not going to quit,
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Ütlesin endale: "Ma ei anna alla.
Ma lähen koju!"
Ma lähen koju!"
02:52
I'm going home."
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02:54
And you have to understand that for me,
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Selgituseks, et minu jaoks ei tähendanud
see mitte kodufarmi naasmist.
see mitte kodufarmi naasmist.
02:55
going home did not mean
returning to my family's farm.
returning to my family's farm.
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02:58
For me, going home
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Minu jaoks tähendas kojuminek
03:00
meant returning to the work of writing
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naasmist kirjutamistöö juurde,
03:01
because writing was my home,
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sest kirjutamine oligi mu kodu.
03:03
because I loved writing more
than I hated failing at writing,
than I hated failing at writing,
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Ma armastasin seda rohkem,
kui vihkasin ebaõnnestumisi.
kui vihkasin ebaõnnestumisi.
03:06
which is to say that I loved writing
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See tähendab, et armastasin
kirjutamist rohkem kui iseenda ego,
kirjutamist rohkem kui iseenda ego,
03:08
more than I loved my own ego,
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03:09
which is ultimately to say
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millest võib järeldada,
03:11
that I loved writing more than I loved myself.
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et armastasin kirjutamist
rohkem kui iseennast.
rohkem kui iseennast.
03:13
And that's how I pushed through it.
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Ja nii ma läbi murdsingi.
03:15
But the weird thing is that 20 years later,
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Imelik on see, et 20 aastat hiljem,
03:17
during the crazy ride of "Eat, Pray, Love,"
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"Söö. Palveta. Armasta" möllus,
03:19
I found myself identifying all over again
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leidsin end taas samastumas
03:21
with that unpublished young diner waitress
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selle kirjanikuhakatisest ettekandjaga,
03:24
who I used to be, thinking about her constantly,
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kes ma kunagi olin.
Ma mõtlesin talle aina
Ma mõtlesin talle aina
03:26
and feeling like I was her again,
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ja tundsin, et olen jälle tema,
03:28
which made no rational sense whatsoever
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mis polnud üldse mõistuspärane,
03:30
because our lives could not
have been more different.
have been more different.
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sest meie elud olid täiesti erinevad.
03:32
She had failed constantly.
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Tema kukkus pidevalt läbi.
03:33
I had succeeded beyond my wildest expectation.
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Mina olin uskumatult edukas.
03:36
We had nothing in common.
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Meil polnud midagi ühist.
03:37
Why did I suddenly feel like I was her all over again?
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Miks ma siis järsku tundsin,
et olen jälle tema?
et olen jälle tema?
03:40
And it was only when I was trying to unthread that
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Alles seda mõistatust lahti harutades
03:43
that I finally began to comprehend
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hakkasin lõpuks aduma
03:44
the strange and unlikely psychological connection
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hämmastavat psühholoogilist
seost selle vahel,
seost selle vahel,
03:47
in our lives between the way
we experience great failure
we experience great failure
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kuidas me kogeme suurt läbikukkumist
03:49
and the way we experience great success.
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ja kuidas me kogeme suurt edu.
03:51
So think of it like this:
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Mõelge sellele niimoodi,
03:53
For most of your life, you live out your existence
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et suure osa elust me lihtsalt oleme
03:55
here in the middle of the chain of human experience
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selles inimlike kogemuste ahelas,
03:57
where everything is normal
and reassuring and regular,
and reassuring and regular,
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kus kõik on normaalne,
kindel ja regulaarne.
kindel ja regulaarne.
04:00
but failure catapults you abruptly way out over here
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Ebaõnnestumine viskab meid
sealt järsku välja,
sealt järsku välja,
04:04
into the blinding darkness of disappointment.
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pimestavasse pettumusse.
04:06
Success catapults you just as abruptly but just as far
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Edu heidab meid sama järsku
ja sama kaugele,
ja sama kaugele,
04:10
way out over here
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kaugele siia,
04:11
into the equally blinding glare
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samamoodi pimestavasse hiilgusesse,
04:13
of fame and recognition and praise.
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mida põhjustab kuulsus,
tunnustus ja kiitus.
tunnustus ja kiitus.
04:16
And one of these fates
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Üht neist variantidest
04:17
is objectively seen by the world as bad,
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näeb maailm objektiivselt halvana.
04:20
and the other one is objectively
seen by the world as good,
seen by the world as good,
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Teist näeb maailm objektiivselt heana.
04:22
but your subconscious is completely incapable
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Alateadvus ei suuda aga kohe üldse
04:24
of discerning the difference between bad and good.
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halval ja heal vahet teha.
04:27
The only thing that it is capable of feeling
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See suudab ainult tunda
04:29
is the absolute value of this emotional equation,
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selle emotsionaalse võrdluse
absoluutset väärtust,
absoluutset väärtust,
04:33
the exact distance that you have been flung
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sedasama kaugust, kuhu sa
oma tavaolekust lennutatud oled.
oma tavaolekust lennutatud oled.
04:35
from yourself.
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Mõlemal juhul varitseb reaalne oht
04:37
And there's a real equal danger in both cases
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04:39
of getting lost out there
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et seal, oma hinge ääremaal,
04:40
in the hinterlands of the psyche.
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end täielikult kaotada.
04:42
But in both cases, it turns out that there is
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Mõlemal juhul aga selgub,
04:44
also the same remedy for self-restoration,
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et enda taasleidmiseks on sama moodus.
04:47
and that is that you have got to
find your way back home again
find your way back home again
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Me peame taas kodutee leidma
04:50
as swiftly and smoothly as you can,
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ning seda võimalikult ruttu ja sujuvalt.
04:52
and if you're wondering what your home is,
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Kui mõtlete, mis on teie kodu,
04:54
here's a hint:
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siis siin väike vihje:
04:55
Your home is whatever in this world you love
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teie koduks on see, mida armastate
rohkem kui iseennast.
rohkem kui iseennast.
04:57
more than you love yourself.
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04:59
So that might be creativity, it might be family,
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Selleks võib olla loovus, pere,
leiutamine, seiklused,
leiutamine, seiklused,
05:01
it might be invention, adventure,
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05:03
faith, service, it might be raising corgis,
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usk, teenimine, korgide kasvatamine -
mis iganes!
mis iganes!
05:06
I don't know, your home is that thing
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Teie koduks on see asi,
05:08
to which you can dedicate your energies
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millele kulutate oma energiat
niivõrd suure pühendumusega,
niivõrd suure pühendumusega,
05:10
with such singular devotion
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05:12
that the ultimate results become inconsequential.
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et lõpptulemus muutub tähtsusetuks.
05:15
For me, that home has always been writing.
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Minu jaoks on see kodu
alati olnud kirjutamine.
alati olnud kirjutamine.
05:18
So after the weird, disorienting success
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Seega pärast kummalist
ja segadusse ajavat edu,
ja segadusse ajavat edu,
05:20
that I went through with "Eat, Pray, Love,"
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mille ma oma raamatuga saavutasin,
05:22
I realized that all I had to do was exactly
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adusin, et pean tegema sama,
mida ma tegin alati siis,
mida ma tegin alati siis,
05:23
the same thing that I used to have to do all the time
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kui tundsin samasugust segadust,
aga seda ebaõnnestumise tõttu.
aga seda ebaõnnestumise tõttu.
05:25
when I was an equally disoriented failure.
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05:27
I had to get my ass back to work,
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Pidin end taas tööle vedama.
05:29
and that's what I did, and that's how, in 2010,
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Ja seda ma tegingi.
Nii suutsin 2010. aastal
avaldada palju kardetud järje
avaldada palju kardetud järje
05:32
I was able to publish the dreaded follow-up
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oma suurteosele.
05:34
to "Eat, Pray, Love."
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05:35
And you know what happened with that book?
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Kas teate, mis siis sai?
05:37
It bombed, and I was fine.
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See raamat oli menukas
ja minuga oli kõik hästi.
ja minuga oli kõik hästi.
05:39
Actually, I kind of felt bulletproof,
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Tegelikult tundsin end võitmatuna,
05:41
because I knew that I had broken the spell
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sest teadsin, et olin murdnud nõiduse
05:43
and I had found my way back home
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ja taasleidnud kodutee kirjutamise juurde,
05:45
to writing for the sheer devotion of it.
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seda puhtalt tänu pühendumusele.
05:48
And I stayed in my home of writing after that,
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Pärast seda jäingi sellesse koju
05:50
and I wrote another book that just came out last year
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ja andsin mullu välja veel ühe teose.
05:51
and that one was really beautifully received,
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See võeti ka hästi vastu, mis on tore,
aga mitte mu jutu iva.
aga mitte mu jutu iva.
05:53
which is very nice, but not my point.
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05:55
My point is that I'm writing another one now,
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Mu mõte on selles,
et kirjutan ka praegu üht raamatut
et kirjutan ka praegu üht raamatut
05:57
and I'll write another book after that
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ja siis veel ühe
05:58
and another and another and another
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ja veel ja veel ja veel.
06:00
and many of them will fail,
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Paljud neist kukuvad läbi
ja mõned on edukad,
ja mõned on edukad,
06:01
and some of them might succeed,
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06:03
but I will always be safe
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aga ma olen alati kaitstud,
mis iganes see tulemus ka poleks,
mis iganes see tulemus ka poleks,
06:04
from the random hurricanes of outcome
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06:07
as long as I never forget where I rightfully live.
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kui ma lihtsalt hoian meeles,
kus on minu päris kodu.
kus on minu päris kodu.
06:10
Look, I don't know where you rightfully live,
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Vaadake, ma ei tea,
kus on teie päris kodu,
kus on teie päris kodu,
06:13
but I know that there's something in this world
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kuid tean, et maailmas on alati miski,
06:14
that you love more than you love yourself.
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mida armastate rohkem kui iseennast.
06:16
Something worthy, by the way,
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Midagi väärtuslikku,
06:18
so addiction and infatuation don't count,
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seega sõltuvus ja lummus ei loe,
06:20
because we all know that those
are not safe places to live. Right?
are not safe places to live. Right?
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sest me kõik teame, et need
ei ole ohutud paigad, on ju nii?
ei ole ohutud paigad, on ju nii?
06:24
The only trick is that you've got to identify
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Saladus seisneb selles,
et peate ära tundma
et peate ära tundma
06:26
the best, worthiest thing that you love most,
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selle parima ja väärtuslikeima asja,
mida armastate,
mida armastate,
06:28
and then build your house right on top of it
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ja siis sinna oma kodu ehitama
06:31
and don't budge from it.
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ning selle juurde pidama jääma.
06:33
And if you should someday, somehow
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Kui teid kunagi mingil põhjusel
06:35
get vaulted out of your home
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teie kodust välja visatakse,
06:37
by either great failure or great success,
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kas suure läbikukkumise või edu tõttu,
06:39
then your job is to fight your
way back to that home
way back to that home
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siis peate iga hinna eest
koju tagasi jõudma.
koju tagasi jõudma.
06:42
the only way that it has ever been done,
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Selleks on ainult üks moodus -
06:43
by putting your head down and performing
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te peate oma pea langetama,
06:46
with diligence and devotion
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olema töökad ja pühendunud,
06:47
and respect and reverence
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näitama austust ja aukartust,
06:49
whatever the task is that love
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mis iganes see ülesanne on,
06:51
is calling forth from you next.
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mida armastus teie teele saadab.
06:53
You just do that, and keep doing that
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Lihtsalt tehke ja jätkake seda.
06:55
again and again and again,
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Tehke seda üha uuesti ja uuesti
06:57
and I can absolutely promise you,
from long personal experience
from long personal experience
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ja ma võin teile kinnitada
oma pika kogemuse põhjal,
oma pika kogemuse põhjal,
07:00
in every direction, I can assure you
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et mis iganes suunda te liikunud olete,
07:02
that it's all going to be okay.
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kõik läheb hästi!
07:04
Thank you.
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Tänan teid!
07:06
(Applause)
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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Elizabeth Gilbert - WriterThe author of 'Eat, Pray, Love,' Elizabeth Gilbert has thought long and hard about some big topics. Her fascinations: genius, creativity and how we get in our own way when it comes to both.
Why you should listen
Elizabeth Gilbert faced down a premidlife crisis by doing what we all secretly dream of -- running off for a year. Her travels through Italy, India and Indonesia resulted in the megabestselling and deeply beloved memoir Eat, Pray, Love, about her process of finding herself by leaving home.
She's a longtime magazine writer -- covering music and politics for Spin and GQ -- as well as a novelist and short-story writer. Her books include the story collection Pilgrims, the novel Stern Men (about lobster fishermen in Maine) and a biography of the woodsman Eustace Conway, called The Last American Man. Her work has been the basis for two movies so far (Coyote Ugly, based on her own tale of working at the famously raunchy bar in New York City), and Eat, Pray, Love, with the part of Gilbert played by Julia Roberts. Not bad for a year off.
In 2010, Elizabeth published Committed, a memoir exploring her ambivalent feelings about the institution of marriage. And her 2013 novel, The Signature of All Things, is "a sprawling tale of 19th century botanical exploration."
Gilbert also owns and runs the import shop Two Buttons in Frenchtown, New Jersey.
Elizabeth Gilbert | Speaker | TED.com