TEDxMileHighWomen
Christen Reighter: I don't want children -- stop telling me I'll change my mind
Christen Reighter: Ne želim otrok- prenehajte mi dopovedovati, da si bom premislila
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3,281,231 views
Vsaka peta ženska v ZDA ne bo nikoli imela biološkega otroka in Christen Reighter je ena izmed njih. Od malih nog je vedela, da ne želi imeti otrok, kljub vztrajanju mnogih (vključno z njenim zdravnikom), ki so ji dopovedovali, da si bo premislila. V tem močnem govoru deli svojo zgodbo o iskanju poti do sterilizacije in razloži, da materinstvo ženske ne definira, ampak predstavlja njeno dodano vrednost.
Christen Reighter - Poet, essayist
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Full bio
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I recognized the roles
that were placed on me very early.
that were placed on me very early.
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Zgodaj sem prepoznala vloge,
ki so mi bile dodeljene.
ki so mi bile dodeljene.
00:17
One persistent concept that I observed --
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Eden od vztrajnih konceptov,
ki sem ga opazovala,
ki sem ga opazovala,
00:21
existing in our language, in our media --
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ki obstajajo v našem jeziku, v medijih,
00:23
was that women are not only
supposed to have children,
supposed to have children,
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je bil, da ženskam ni treba
le imeti otroke,
le imeti otroke,
00:29
they are supposed to want to.
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morajo si jih tudi želeti.
00:32
This existed everywhere.
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To je blo vseprisotno.
00:34
It existed in the ways
that adults spoke to me
that adults spoke to me
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Bilo je prisotno v načinu,
kako so odrasli govorili z menoj,
kako so odrasli govorili z menoj,
00:38
when they posed questions
in the context of "when."
in the context of "when."
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ko so mi zastavljali vprašanja
v kontekstu - ko ...
v kontekstu - ko ...
00:43
"When you get married ..."
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Ko se boš poročila.
00:45
"When you have kids ..."
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Ko boš imela otroke.
00:48
And these future musings
were always presented to me
were always presented to me
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Ta prihodnja razmišljanja
so mi vedno bila predstavljena
so mi vedno bila predstavljena
00:51
like part of this American dream,
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kot del ameriških sanj,
00:54
but it always felt to me
like someone else's dream.
like someone else's dream.
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a vedno se mi je zdelo,
da gre za sanje nekoga drugega.
da gre za sanje nekoga drugega.
00:57
You see, a value that I have
always understood about myself
always understood about myself
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Veste, vrednota, ki sem jo
vedno razumela v povezavi s seboj,
vedno razumela v povezavi s seboj,
01:01
was that I never wanted children.
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je bila, da si nikoli nisem želela otrok.
01:04
And as a kid, when I would try
to explain this,
to explain this,
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In kot otrok, ko sem skušala to razložiti,
01:08
this disconnect between
their roles and my values,
their roles and my values,
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to nepovezanost med njihovimi
vlogami in mojimi vrednotami,
vlogami in mojimi vrednotami,
01:12
they often laughed
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so se mi pogosto smejali,
01:14
in the way that adults do
at the absurdities of children.
at the absurdities of children.
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kot se odrasli smejijo
otroških absurdnostim.
otroških absurdnostim.
01:18
And they would tell me knowingly,
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Poznavalsko so mi rekli:
01:20
"You'll change your mind."
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"Premislila si boš."
01:23
And people have been saying
things like that to me my whole life.
things like that to me my whole life.
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In ljudje mi take stvari
govorijo že vse moje življenje.
govorijo že vse moje življenje.
01:27
Otherwise polite conversation
can turn intrusive fast.
can turn intrusive fast.
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Sicer vljudni pogovori
lahko hitro postanejo nadležni.
lahko hitro postanejo nadležni.
01:33
"Does your husband know?"
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"Ali vaš mož ve?"
01:35
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
01:37
"Do your parents know?"
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"Ali vedo vaši starši?"
01:39
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
01:41
"Don't you want a family?"
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"Ali nočete imeti družine?"
01:44
"Don't you want to leave anything behind?"
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"Ali nočete ničesar pustiti za seboj?"
01:48
And the primary buzzword
when discussing childlessness,
when discussing childlessness,
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In najpogostejša fraza,
ko je govora o življenju brez otrok:
ko je govora o življenju brez otrok:
01:54
"That's selfish."
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"To je sebično."
01:59
There are countless reasons
a woman may have
a woman may have
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Nešteto razlogov obstaja,
zakaj se mora ženska morda
zakaj se mora ženska morda
02:02
for choosing to abstain from motherhood,
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odločiti, da ne bo postala mati.
02:05
the majority of them
not self-prioritizing.
not self-prioritizing.
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Večina jih ni povezanih s
postavljanjem sebe na prvo mesto.
postavljanjem sebe na prvo mesto.
02:10
But it is still socially acceptable
to publicly vilify women as such,
to publicly vilify women as such,
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A še vedno je družbeno sprejemljivo
javno obrekovati ženske,
javno obrekovati ženske,
02:14
because none of these reasons
have made it into the social narrative.
have made it into the social narrative.
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ker nobeden od teh razlogov
ni postal del družbene pripovedi.
ni postal del družbene pripovedi.
02:18
When I was little and learning
about the inevitability of maternity,
about the inevitability of maternity,
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Ko sem bila majhna in sem se
učila o neizogibnosti materinstva,
učila o neizogibnosti materinstva,
02:24
it was never explained to me
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mi nikoli ni bilo razloženo,
02:25
the commonness of these factors
that women consider,
that women consider,
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kako pogosto ženske
morajo razmišljati o faktorjih,
morajo razmišljati o faktorjih,
kot so tveganje, da bi otroku
predale dedno bolezen,
predale dedno bolezen,
02:31
like the risk of passing on
hereditary illness,
hereditary illness,
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02:34
the danger of having to stop
life-saving medication
life-saving medication
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nevarnost, da bodo morale
prekiniti nujno potrebno zdravljenje
prekiniti nujno potrebno zdravljenje
02:37
for the duration of your pregnancy,
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v času nosečnosti,
02:39
concern about overpopulation,
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skrb zaradi prevelike poseljenosti,
02:41
your access to resources,
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vaš dostop do virov
02:44
and the fact that there are
415,000 children
415,000 children
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in dejstvo, da je vedno 415 000 otrok
02:49
in the foster-care system
in the United States at any given time.
in the United States at any given time.
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v sistemu rejništva v ZDA.
02:54
Reasons like these, many more,
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Taki razlogi in še mnogi drugi
02:58
and the fact that I don't like to leave
things of this magnitude to chance,
things of this magnitude to chance,
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ter dejstvo, da nerada prepuščam
tako pomembne reči naključju,
tako pomembne reči naključju,
03:03
all informed my decision
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vse to je podkrepilo mojo odločitev,
03:06
to become surgically sterilized.
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da se dam sterilizirati.
03:09
I began my research eagerly.
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Zagnano sem začela z raziskovanjem.
03:12
I wanted to fully understand
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Želela sem popolnoma razumeti,
03:14
all that was going to come
with undergoing a tubal ligation,
with undergoing a tubal ligation,
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kaj vse bo prinesla tubektomija,
03:19
which is just another word
for getting your tubes tied.
for getting your tubes tied.
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kar je le drug izraz
za zavezovanje jajčnikov.
za zavezovanje jajčnikov.
03:22
I wanted to know approval to aftermath,
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Popolnoma sem želela razumeti posledice,
03:26
satisfaction rates, risks, statistics.
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odstotek uspešnosti, tveganja, statistiko.
03:30
And at first, I was empowered.
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Najprej sem se počutila močno.
03:32
You see, the way the narrative
has always been taught to me,
has always been taught to me,
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Veste, vedno so z menoj govorili,
03:36
I would have thought that women
who didn't want children were so rare,
who didn't want children were so rare,
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kot da le redke ženske ne želijo otrok.
03:40
and then I learned
one in five American women
one in five American women
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Potem pa sem izvedela, da vsaka
peta Američanka
peta Američanka
03:44
won't be having a biological child --
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nima biološkega otroka,
03:46
some by choice, some by chance.
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nekatere na lastno željo,
druge po naključju.
druge po naključju.
03:49
(Applause)
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(aplavz)
03:50
But I was not alone.
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Nisem bila sama.
03:55
But the more I read,
the more disheartened I became.
the more disheartened I became.
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A več ko sem brala,
bolj mi je jemalo pogum.
bolj mi je jemalo pogum.
03:57
I read women's stories,
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Brala sem zgodbe žensk,
04:00
trying desperately to get this procedure.
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ki so obupano želele ta poseg.
04:04
I learned how common it was
for women to exhaust their finances
for women to exhaust their finances
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Ugotovila sem, kako pogosto
so ženske izčrpale svoje finance,
so ženske izčrpale svoje finance,
04:10
appealing to dozens of ob-gyns
over many years,
over many years,
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leta in leta prosile
na ducate ginekologov,
na ducate ginekologov,
04:17
only to be turned down so many times,
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a so bile vedno znova zavrnjene,
04:19
often with such blatant disrespect
that they just gave up.
that they just gave up.
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pogosto s tako očitnim prezirom,
da so preprosto odnehale.
da so preprosto odnehale.
04:23
Women reported that medical practitioners
were often condescending
were often condescending
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Ženske so poročale, da so bili
zdravstveni delavci pogosto vzvišeni
zdravstveni delavci pogosto vzvišeni
04:30
and dismissive of their motivations,
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in niso sprejeli njihove odločitve.
Govorili so jim stvari, kot npr.:
04:34
being told things like,
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"Pridite nazaj, ko boste poročeni
in boste imeli otroka."
in boste imeli otroka."
04:36
"Come back when you're married
with a child."
with a child."
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04:40
But women who did have children,
who went to go get this procedure,
who went to go get this procedure,
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A ženskam, ki so imele otroke
in so želele ta poseg,
in so želele ta poseg,
04:44
were told they were too young,
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je bilo rečeno, da so premlade
04:47
or they didn't have enough children,
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ali da nimajo dovolj otrok,
04:51
which is very interesting,
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kar je zanimivo,
04:53
because the legal requirements in my state
for getting this kind of surgery were,
for getting this kind of surgery were,
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ker so pravne zahteve v moji državi
za tako operacijo -
za tako operacijo -
05:00
"Be at least 21 years old,"
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starost vsaj 21 let,
05:03
"appear of sound mind,
acting of your own accord,"
acting of your own accord,"
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zdravega razuma, na lastno željo
05:06
and "have a 30-day waiting period."
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in 30 dni čakalne dobe.
05:10
And I was perplexed that I could meet
all of these legal requirements
all of these legal requirements
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Bila sem osupla, da sem
izpolnjevala vse te zahteve,
izpolnjevala vse te zahteve,
05:16
and still have to face a battle
in the exam room
in the exam room
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a sem se še vedno morala
boriti v ordinaciji
boriti v ordinaciji
05:19
for my bodily autonomy.
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za svojo telesno avtonomijo.
05:21
And it was daunting,
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Bilo je zastrašujoče,
05:24
but I was determined.
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a bila sem odločena.
05:26
I remember I dressed so professionally
to that first appointment.
to that first appointment.
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Spomnim se, da sem se za prvo
srečanjenje oblekla kot za razgovor.
srečanjenje oblekla kot za razgovor.
05:31
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
05:33
I sat up straight.
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Sedela sem vzravnano,
05:34
I spoke clearly.
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jasno sem govorila.
05:37
I wanted to give that doctor
every piece of evidence
every piece of evidence
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Zdravniku sem želela dokazati,
05:42
that I was not the date
of birth in that file.
of birth in that file.
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da nisem le datum rojstva v tisti mapi.
05:46
And I made sure to mention things like,
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Poskrbela sem, da sem omenila reči,
kot so:
kot so:
05:49
"I just got my bachelor's degree
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"Pravkar sem magistrirala
05:50
and I'm applying
to these doctoral programs,
to these doctoral programs,
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in se vpisujem na doktorski študij,
05:53
I'm going to study these things."
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to in to bom študirala.
05:55
And "my long-term partner
has this kind of business,"
has this kind of business,"
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Moj dolgoletni partner
ima to in to podjetje.
ima to in to podjetje.
05:59
and "I've done research
on this for months.
on this for months.
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Že mesece raziskujem ta poseg,
06:03
I understand everything
about it, all the risks."
about it, all the risks."
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razumem vse o njem, vsa tveganja.
06:06
Because I needed the doctor to know
that this was not a whim,
that this was not a whim,
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Želela sem, da bi zdravnik
vedel, da to ni kaprica,
vedel, da to ni kaprica,
06:10
not reactionary,
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nič reakcionarnega,
06:12
not your 20-something
looking to go out and party
looking to go out and party
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da nisem dvajsetletnica, ki bi
se rada zabavala
se rada zabavala
06:15
without fear of getting knocked up ...
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brez strahu, da bo zanosila ...
06:17
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
06:19
that this supported something
integral to who I was.
integral to who I was.
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Da mi to predstavlja nekaj pomembnega.
06:25
And I understand informed consent,
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Razumem prostovoljno soglasje,
06:26
so I fully expected to be reeducated
on how it all worked, but ...
on how it all worked, but ...
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zato sem pričakovala, da me bo
spet podučil, kako vse poteka, ampak ...
spet podučil, kako vse poteka, ampak ...
06:34
At one point, the information being
given to me started to feel agenda'd,
given to me started to feel agenda'd,
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V nekem trenutku sem občutila,
da imajo informacije skriti namen,
da imajo informacije skriti namen,
06:39
interlaced with bias
and inflated statistics.
and inflated statistics.
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da so prepletene s predsodki
in napihnjeno statistiko.
in napihnjeno statistiko.
06:45
The questions began to feel interrogative.
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Vprašanja so postala vsiljiva.
06:49
At first they were asking me questions
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Najprej so mi zastavljali vprašanja,
06:52
that seemed to understand
my situation better,
my situation better,
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da bi bolje razumeli mojo situacijo,
06:55
and then it seemed like they were
asking questions to try to trip me up.
asking questions to try to trip me up.
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potem pa se mi je zazdelo, da me
sprašujejo, da bi me spodnesli.
sprašujejo, da bi me spodnesli.
06:59
I felt like I was on the witness stand,
being cross-examined.
being cross-examined.
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Počutila sem se, kot da me zaslišujejo
na prostoru za priče.
na prostoru za priče.
Zdravnik me je vprašal o mojem partnerju.
07:04
The doctor asked me about my partner.
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07:07
"How does he or she
feel about all of this?"
feel about all of this?"
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"Kako pa on ali ona gleda na vse to?"
07:10
"Well, I've been with
the same man for five years,
the same man for five years,
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"No, z istim moškim sem že pet let
07:13
and he fully supports any decision
I make for my body."
I make for my body."
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in podpira vse odločitve,
ki jih sprejemam o svojem telesu."
ki jih sprejemam o svojem telesu."
07:17
And he said, "Well,
what happens in the future,
what happens in the future,
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Rekel je: "Kaj pa, če v prihodnosti
07:19
if you change partners?
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zamenjate partnerja?
07:20
What happens when that person
wants children?"
wants children?"
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Kaj če bo tisti človek želel otroke?"
07:24
And I didn't quite know
how to react to that,
how to react to that,
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Nisem vedela, kako naj reagiram na to,
07:28
because what I was hearing
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ker sem slišala le,
07:30
was this doctor tell me that I'm supposed
to disregard everything I believe
to disregard everything I believe
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da mi zdravnik govori, da bi morala
pozabiti vse, v kar verjamem,
pozabiti vse, v kar verjamem,
07:37
if a partner demands children.
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če partner želi otroka.
07:40
So I told him not to worry about that.
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Zato sem mu rekla, naj ne skrbi o tem.
07:43
My stance on childbearing
has always been first date conversation.
has always been first date conversation.
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Moje gledišče na rojevanje je
pri meni vedno tema za prvi zmenek.
pri meni vedno tema za prvi zmenek.
07:47
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
07:53
(Cheering)
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(vzkliki)
07:54
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
07:59
He then asks me to consider
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Potem mi je rekel, naj pomislim,
08:03
how "in 20 years, you could really
come to regret this" ...
come to regret this" ...
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kako bom čez dvajset let obžalovala.
08:08
as though I hadn't.
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Kot da še nisem.
08:11
I told him,
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Povedala sem mu:
08:16
"OK, if I wake up one day
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"Če se bom nekega dne zbudila
08:20
and realize, you know,
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in se zavedla,
08:23
I wish I'd made a different
decision back then,
decision back then,
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da si želim, da bi se takrat
drugače odločila,
drugače odločila,
08:28
the truth is, I'd only removed
a single path to parenthood.
a single path to parenthood.
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je stvar taka, da sem si odstranila
le eno pot do starševstva.
le eno pot do starševstva.
08:32
I never needed biology
to form family anyway."
to form family anyway."
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Nikoli nisem potrebovala biologije,
da bi si ustvarila družino.
da bi si ustvarila družino.
08:36
(Applause)
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(aplavz)
08:44
And I would much rather
deal with that any day
deal with that any day
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In mnogo raje bi se s tem ukvarjala
vsak dan,
vsak dan,
08:48
than deal with one day waking up,
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kot pa da se nekega dne prebudim
08:51
realize I'd had a child
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in ugotovim, da imam otroka,
08:55
that I didn't really want
or was prepared to care for.
or was prepared to care for.
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ki si ga nisem zares želela oz.
zanj nisem pripravljena skrbeti.
zanj nisem pripravljena skrbeti.
09:01
Because one of these affects only me.
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Ker ena od teh odločitev
se tiče samo mene.
se tiče samo mene.
09:04
The other affects a child,
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Druga se tiče tudi otroka,
09:07
their development, their well-being --
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njegovega razvoja, njegove dobrobiti.
09:09
(Applause)
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(aplavz)
09:13
and human beings
are not to be gambled with.
are not to be gambled with.
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In s človeškimi bitji se ne sme kockati.
09:18
He then tells me why no one
was going to approve this procedure,
was going to approve this procedure,
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Zdavnik mi potem pove, zakaj nihče
ne bo potrdil tega postopka,
ne bo potrdil tega postopka,
09:24
certainly not he,
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prav gotovo pa ne on.
09:25
because of a concept
called medical paternalism,
called medical paternalism,
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Zaradi koncepta, ki se
imenuje medicinski paternalizem,
imenuje medicinski paternalizem,
09:28
which allows him,
as my well-informed provider,
as my well-informed provider,
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ki mu omogoča, da se kot moj
dobro obveščeni ponudnik storitev
dobro obveščeni ponudnik storitev
09:34
to make decisions for me ...
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odloči namesto mene
09:37
based on his perception
of my best interest,
of my best interest,
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na podlagi njegovega dojemanja,
kaj je zame najboljše,
kaj je zame najboljše,
09:40
regardless of what I,
as the patient, want or believe.
as the patient, want or believe.
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ne glede na to, kaj jaz kot
pacient želim ali verjamem.
pacient želim ali verjamem.
09:44
He takes this opportunity to step out
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To priložnost bo izkoristil,
da bo šel še korak dlje
da bo šel še korak dlje
09:47
and discuss my case
with my potential surgeon,
with my potential surgeon,
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in o mojem primeru govoril z mojim
potencialnim kirurgom.
potencialnim kirurgom.
09:51
and through the door, I hear him
describe me as a little girl.
describe me as a little girl.
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Skozi vrata ga slišim, kako me
opisuje kot majhno deklico.
opisuje kot majhno deklico.
10:01
I was so offended.
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Strašno sem bila užaljena.
10:03
I wanted to defend myself.
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Želela sem se braniti,
10:05
I wanted to explicitly explain
to each one of these providers
to each one of these providers
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želela sem natančno razložiti
vsakomur od teh ponudnikov,
vsakomur od teh ponudnikov,
10:09
how they were treating me,
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da je njuno ravnanje
10:11
that it was belittling and sexist,
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poniževalno in seksistično
10:13
and I didn't have to take it.
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in da mi tega ni treba prenašati.
10:19
But I did take it.
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A nisem.
Požrla sem vse ostre besede,
ki sem jih imela pripravljene,
ki sem jih imela pripravljene,
10:22
I swallowed every sharp word in my throat,
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10:26
clenched my jaw, and instead
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stisnila čeljust in namesto tega
10:29
answered each one of their condescending
questions and statements.
questions and statements.
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odgovorila na vsako od njunih
podcenjevalnih vprašanj in trditev.
podcenjevalnih vprašanj in trditev.
10:36
I had come here looking
for objectivity and support
for objectivity and support
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Tja sem šla v pričakovanju
objektivnosti in podpore,
objektivnosti in podpore,
10:40
and instead I felt dismissed and silenced,
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namesto tega pa sem se počutila
odslovljeno in utišano
odslovljeno in utišano
10:44
and I hated myself for it.
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in zato sem se sovražila.
10:46
I hated that I was letting people
disrespect me repeatedly.
disrespect me repeatedly.
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Sovražila sem, da sem dovolila,
da me ljudje ne spoštujejo.
da me ljudje ne spoštujejo.
10:51
But this was my one shot.
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A to je bila moja edina priložnost.
10:57
That was one of multiple consultations
that I had to go to.
that I had to go to.
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To je bilo eno od mnogih posvetovanj,
na katera sem morala iti.
na katera sem morala iti.
11:02
At one point, I had seen five or six
medical professionals in the same hour.
medical professionals in the same hour.
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V nekem trenutku sem obiskala
pet ali šest zdravnikov v eni sami uri.
pet ali šest zdravnikov v eni sami uri.
11:07
The door to the exam room
felt more like the door to a clown car.
felt more like the door to a clown car.
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Vrata ordinacije so se zdela
kot vrata v klovnov avto.
kot vrata v klovnov avto.
11:11
There's my primary,
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To je moj osebni zdravnik,
11:12
there's his colleague,
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tam je njegov kolega,
11:14
the director, OK.
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direktor, dobro.
11:17
It felt like I was asking them
to infect me with smallpox
to infect me with smallpox
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Zdelo se mi je, kot da jih prosim,
da me okužijo s kozami,
da me okužijo s kozami,
11:22
instead of, I don't know,
obtain birth control.
obtain birth control.
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ne pa da želim dobiti kontracepcijo.
11:28
But I didn't waver,
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A nisem omahovala
11:33
and I was persistent,
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in vztrajala sem
11:35
and I eventually convinced one of them
to allow the procedure.
to allow the procedure.
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in nazadnje prepričala enega od njih,
da je dovolil poseg.
da je dovolil poseg.
11:42
And even as I am in the room,
signing the consent forms
signing the consent forms
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In še ko sem bila v sobi
in podpisovala soglasja
in podpisovala soglasja
11:48
and getting the hormone shots
and tying up loose ends ...
and tying up loose ends ...
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in dobivala hormonske injekcije
in reševala zadeve,
in reševala zadeve,
11:53
my doctor is shaking
his head in disapproval.
his head in disapproval.
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je moj zdravnik odkimaval z glavo
v znamenje nestrinjanja.
v znamenje nestrinjanja.
11:59
"You'll change your mind."
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"Premislili si boste."
12:03
I never really understood
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Nikoli prej nisem zares razumela,
12:06
how strongly this society
clings to this role
clings to this role
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kako močno se družba oklepa te vloge,
12:11
until I went through this.
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dokler nisem tega doživela.
12:13
I experienced firsthand, repeatedly,
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Osebno in vedno znova sem izkusila,
12:20
how people, be it medical providers,
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kako ljudje, pa naj gre
za zdravstveno osebje,
za zdravstveno osebje,
12:26
colleagues, strangers,
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kolege ali tujce,
12:30
were literally unable
to separate me being a woman
to separate me being a woman
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niso mogli ločiti mene kot ženske
12:37
from me being a mother.
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od mene kot matere.
12:40
And I've always believed
that having children
that having children
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Vedno sem verjela, da pomeni imeti otroke
12:44
was an extension of womanhood,
not the definition.
not the definition.
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podaljšanje, ne pa definicija ženske.
12:48
I believe that a woman's value
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Verjamem, da se vrednost ženske
12:51
should never be determined
by whether or not she has a child,
by whether or not she has a child,
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ne bi smela meriti s tem, ali ima
ali nima otroka,
ali nima otroka,
12:55
because that strips her
of her entire identity
of her entire identity
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ker ji to odvzame vso njeno identiteto
13:00
as an adult unto herself.
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odrasle osebe.
13:02
Women have this amazing ability
to create life,
to create life,
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Ženske imajo to izjemno sposobnost,
da ustvarijo življenje,
da ustvarijo življenje,
13:07
but when we say that that is her purpose,
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a ko rečemo, da je to njen namen,
13:11
that says that her entire existence
is a means to an end.
is a means to an end.
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to pomeni, da je ves njen obstoj
samo sredstvo za dosego cilja.
samo sredstvo za dosego cilja.
13:20
It's so easy to forget the roles
that society places on us
that society places on us
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Tako zlahka pozabimo, da so vloge,
ki nam jih določa družba,
ki nam jih določa družba,
13:25
are so much more than mere titles.
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mnogo več kot le nazivi.
13:27
What about the weight
that comes with them,
that comes with them,
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Kaj pa teža, ki jo nosijo s seboj,
13:30
the pressure to conform
to these standards ...
to these standards ...
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pritisk, da se podredimo tem standardom,
13:33
the fear associated with questioning them,
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strah, povezan s dvomom,
13:36
and the desires that we
cast aside to accept them?
cast aside to accept them?
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in želje, ki jih zavržemo,
da bi jih sprejeli?
da bi jih sprejeli?
13:40
There are many paths
to happiness and fulfillment.
to happiness and fulfillment.
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Mnogo poti je do sreče in izpolnitve.
13:44
They all look very different,
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Zelo različne so,
13:46
but I believe that every one
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a verjamem, da je vsaka
13:50
is paved with the right
to self-determination.
to self-determination.
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tlakovana s pravico do samoodločanja.
13:57
I want women to know that your choice
to embrace or forego motherhood
to embrace or forego motherhood
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Želim, da ženske veste, da
izbira za ali proti materinstvu
izbira za ali proti materinstvu
14:06
is not in any way tied
to your worthiness or identity
to your worthiness or identity
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ni nikakor povezana z vašo vrednostjo
ali identiteto kot
ali identiteto kot
14:10
as spouses, as adults, or as women ...
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partnerke, odraslega ali ženske.
14:15
and there absolutely is
a choice behind maternity,
a choice behind maternity,
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Za materinstvom absolutno obstaja izbira,
14:20
and it is yours
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in to vaša,
14:22
and yours alone.
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samo vaša.
14:23
Thank you.
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Hvala.
14:24
(Applause)
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(aplavz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Christen Reighter - Poet, essayistChristen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues.
Why you should listen
Christen Reighter's primary advocacy platform is for the childfree-choice. She often writes and speaks out about her experience obtaining elective sterilization at age 22, including how she encountered and confronted harassing societal prejudice, condescending medical paternalism, and civil rights violations. Her other writing and advocacy work includes LGBTQIA+ rights, gender equality, sex-positivity, women's issues (including sexual assault) and mental health issues and recovery.
Reighter is also an award-winning spoken word artist. she has competed and performed across the country and in international competitions such "Brave New Voices" on on HBO.
Originally born and raised in Texas, Reighter now lives happily in beautiful Colorado with her partner and their three rambunctious cats, and she currently is finishing her MA in clinical mental health counseling.
Christen Reighter | Speaker | TED.com