TEDxMileHighWomen
Christen Reighter: I don't want children -- stop telling me I'll change my mind
Kristen Rajter: Ja ne želim decu -- prestanite mi govoriti da ću se predomisliti
Filmed:
Readability: 4
3,281,231 views
Jedna od pet žena u Sjedinjenim Američkim državama neće imati svoje biološko dete, i Kristen Rajter je jedna od njih. Od malih nogu, ona je znala da nije želela decu, uprkos insistiranju mnogih ljudi (uključujući i njenog lekara) koji su joj rekli da će se predomisliti. U ovom moćnom govoru, ona deli svoju priču o potrazi za sterilizacijom -- i dokazuje da je majčinstvo produžetak ženstvenosti, ne definicija.
Christen Reighter - Poet, essayist
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Full bio
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I recognized the roles
that were placed on me very early.
that were placed on me very early.
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Prepoznala sam uloge
koje su mi nametnute, veoma rano.
koje su mi nametnute, veoma rano.
00:17
One persistent concept that I observed --
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Jedan uporan koncept
koji sam posmatrala --
koji sam posmatrala --
00:21
existing in our language, in our media --
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postoji u nasem jeziku u našim medijima --
00:23
was that women are not only
supposed to have children,
supposed to have children,
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je taj da žene ne samo da treba
da imaju decu,
da imaju decu,
00:29
they are supposed to want to.
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već se očekuje i da to žele.
00:32
This existed everywhere.
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Ovo je postojalo svuda.
00:34
It existed in the ways
that adults spoke to me
that adults spoke to me
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Postojalo je u načinu
na koji su odrasli pričali sa mnom
na koji su odrasli pričali sa mnom
00:38
when they posed questions
in the context of "when."
in the context of "when."
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kada su postavljali pitanja
u kontekstu "kada."
u kontekstu "kada."
00:43
"When you get married ..."
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"Kada se udaš..."
00:45
"When you have kids ..."
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"Kada budeš imala decu..."
00:48
And these future musings
were always presented to me
were always presented to me
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I ove buduće misli
su uvek bile meni predstavljene
su uvek bile meni predstavljene
00:51
like part of this American dream,
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kao deo američkog sna
00:54
but it always felt to me
like someone else's dream.
like someone else's dream.
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ali meni je to uvek izgledalo
kao nečiji tuđi san.
kao nečiji tuđi san.
00:57
You see, a value that I have
always understood about myself
always understood about myself
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Vidite, vrednost koju sam
ja uvek razumela o sebi
ja uvek razumela o sebi
01:01
was that I never wanted children.
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je ta da je nikada nisam želela decu.
01:04
And as a kid, when I would try
to explain this,
to explain this,
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I kao dete, kada bih pokušala
to da objasnim,
to da objasnim,
01:08
this disconnect between
their roles and my values,
their roles and my values,
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taj raskorak između
njihovih uloga i mojih vrednosti,
njihovih uloga i mojih vrednosti,
01:12
they often laughed
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obično bi se smejali
01:14
in the way that adults do
at the absurdities of children.
at the absurdities of children.
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na način na koji se odrasli smeju
dečijim glupostima.
dečijim glupostima.
01:18
And they would tell me knowingly,
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I rekli bi mi znalački:
01:20
"You'll change your mind."
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"Promenićeš mišljenje."
01:23
And people have been saying
things like that to me my whole life.
things like that to me my whole life.
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I ljudi su mi govorili slične stvari
celog mog života.
celog mog života.
01:27
Otherwise polite conversation
can turn intrusive fast.
can turn intrusive fast.
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Inače pristojan razgovor
može se brzo pretvoriti u nametljiv.
može se brzo pretvoriti u nametljiv.
01:33
"Does your husband know?"
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"Da li tvoj muž zna?"
01:35
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:37
"Do your parents know?"
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"Da li ti roditelji znaju?"
01:39
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:41
"Don't you want a family?"
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"Zar ne želiš porodicu?"
01:44
"Don't you want to leave anything behind?"
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"Zar ne želiš ostaviti nešto iza sebe?"
01:48
And the primary buzzword
when discussing childlessness,
when discussing childlessness,
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I prvo što ti kažu
kada pričaš o nemanju dece:
kada pričaš o nemanju dece:
01:54
"That's selfish."
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"To je sebično."
01:59
There are countless reasons
a woman may have
a woman may have
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Bezbrojni su razlozi koje žena može imati
02:02
for choosing to abstain from motherhood,
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zbog kojih je izabrala
da se suzdrži od majčinstva,
da se suzdrži od majčinstva,
02:05
the majority of them
not self-prioritizing.
not self-prioritizing.
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većina njih nisu u cilju
stavljanja sebe na prvo mesto.
stavljanja sebe na prvo mesto.
02:10
But it is still socially acceptable
to publicly vilify women as such,
to publicly vilify women as such,
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Ali je i dalje socijalno prihvatljivo
javno omalovažavati ženu kao takvu,
javno omalovažavati ženu kao takvu,
02:14
because none of these reasons
have made it into the social narrative.
have made it into the social narrative.
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zato što nijedan od tih razloga
nije ušao u društveni narativ.
nije ušao u društveni narativ.
02:18
When I was little and learning
about the inevitability of maternity,
about the inevitability of maternity,
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Kada sam kao mala učila
o neizbežnosti majčinstva,
o neizbežnosti majčinstva,
02:24
it was never explained to me
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nikad mi nije objašnjena
02:25
the commonness of these factors
that women consider,
that women consider,
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učestalost tih faktora koje žena razmatra,
02:31
like the risk of passing on
hereditary illness,
hereditary illness,
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kao što su rizik od prenošenja
naslednih bolesti,
naslednih bolesti,
02:34
the danger of having to stop
life-saving medication
life-saving medication
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opasnost kada moraš prekinuti uzimati lek
koji ti je neophodan
koji ti je neophodan
02:37
for the duration of your pregnancy,
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za vreme trajanja trudnoće,
02:39
concern about overpopulation,
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zabrinutost oko prenaseljenosti,
02:41
your access to resources,
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tvoj pristup resursima,
02:44
and the fact that there are
415,000 children
415,000 children
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i činjenica da se 415.000 dece
02:49
in the foster-care system
in the United States at any given time.
in the United States at any given time.
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nalazi u hraniteljstvu u svakom momentu
u Sjedinjenim Američkim Državama.
u Sjedinjenim Američkim Državama.
02:54
Reasons like these, many more,
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Razlozi kao ovi, mnogi drugi,
02:58
and the fact that I don't like to leave
things of this magnitude to chance,
things of this magnitude to chance,
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i činjenica da mi se ne sviđa da stvari
ovakvih razmera prepustim slučaju,
ovakvih razmera prepustim slučaju,
03:03
all informed my decision
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su pohranili moju odluku
03:06
to become surgically sterilized.
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da se hirurški sterilišem.
03:09
I began my research eagerly.
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Počela sam da istražujem sa uzbuđenjem,
03:12
I wanted to fully understand
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želela sam da potpuno razumem
03:14
all that was going to come
with undergoing a tubal ligation,
with undergoing a tubal ligation,
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sve što ide uz proceduru tubalne ligacije,
03:19
which is just another word
for getting your tubes tied.
for getting your tubes tied.
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što je drugi naziv
za podvezivanje jajovoda.
za podvezivanje jajovoda.
03:22
I wanted to know approval to aftermath,
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Želela sam da znam rezultat,
03:26
satisfaction rates, risks, statistics.
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postotak zadovoljstva, rizike i statistiku
03:30
And at first, I was empowered.
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I na početku, bila sam osnažena.
03:32
You see, the way the narrative
has always been taught to me,
has always been taught to me,
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Vidite, prema pričama
kojima su mene učili,
kojima su mene učili,
03:36
I would have thought that women
who didn't want children were so rare,
who didn't want children were so rare,
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ja bih pomislila da su retke žene
koje ne žele decu,
koje ne žele decu,
03:40
and then I learned
one in five American women
one in five American women
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I onda sam saznala da jedna od pet
američkih žena
američkih žena
03:44
won't be having a biological child --
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neće imati biološko dete,
03:46
some by choice, some by chance.
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neke po izboru, neke zbog okolnosti.
03:49
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
03:50
But I was not alone.
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Ali ja nisam bila sama.
03:55
But the more I read,
the more disheartened I became.
the more disheartened I became.
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Ali što sam više čitala,
više sam bila obeshrabrena.
više sam bila obeshrabrena.
03:57
I read women's stories,
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Čitala sam priče žena,
04:00
trying desperately to get this procedure.
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koje su očajno pokušavale
da dobiju ovu proceduru.
da dobiju ovu proceduru.
04:04
I learned how common it was
for women to exhaust their finances
for women to exhaust their finances
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Saznala sam koliko je često
da žene iscrpe svoje finansije,
da žene iscrpe svoje finansije,
04:10
appealing to dozens of ob-gyns
over many years,
over many years,
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obraćajući se desetinama ginekologa,
tokom mnogo godina,
tokom mnogo godina,
04:17
only to be turned down so many times,
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samo da bi bile odbijene toliko puta,
04:19
often with such blatant disrespect
that they just gave up.
that they just gave up.
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često sa tako očiglednim nepoštovanjem
da su samo odustale.
da su samo odustale.
04:23
Women reported that medical practitioners
were often condescending
were often condescending
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Žene su izjavile da su lekari
često bili snishodljivi,
često bili snishodljivi,
04:30
and dismissive of their motivations,
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negativni u vezi njihovih motiva,
04:34
being told things like,
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rečeno im je nešto kao:
04:36
"Come back when you're married
with a child."
with a child."
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"Vratite se kad se udate i imate dete. "
04:40
But women who did have children,
who went to go get this procedure,
who went to go get this procedure,
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Ali ženama koje su imale decu,
i otišle da dobiju ovaj tretman,
i otišle da dobiju ovaj tretman,
04:44
were told they were too young,
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bilo je rečeno da su premlade,
04:47
or they didn't have enough children,
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ili da nemaju dovoljno dece,
04:51
which is very interesting,
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što je veoma interesantno,
04:53
because the legal requirements in my state
for getting this kind of surgery were,
for getting this kind of surgery were,
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budući da su zakonski uslovi u mojoj
državi za dobijanje operacije ove vrste:
državi za dobijanje operacije ove vrste:
05:00
"Be at least 21 years old,"
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"Najmanje 21 godina starosti,"
05:03
"appear of sound mind,
acting of your own accord,"
acting of your own accord,"
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"izgledaj da si pri zdravom razumu,
nastupaj po svojoj zamisli,"
nastupaj po svojoj zamisli,"
05:06
and "have a 30-day waiting period."
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i "sačekaj 30 dana."
05:10
And I was perplexed that I could meet
all of these legal requirements
all of these legal requirements
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I ja sam bila začuđena da sam zadovoljila
sve zakonske uslove,
sve zakonske uslove,
05:16
and still have to face a battle
in the exam room
in the exam room
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a ipak morala da se suočim
sa borbom u ordinaciji
sa borbom u ordinaciji
05:19
for my bodily autonomy.
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za autonomiju nad mojim telom.
05:21
And it was daunting,
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I to je bilo obeshrabrujuće,
05:24
but I was determined.
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ali ja sam bila odlučna.
05:26
I remember I dressed so professionally
to that first appointment.
to that first appointment.
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Sećam se da sam se obukla profesionalno
za taj prvi sastanak.
za taj prvi sastanak.
05:31
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:33
I sat up straight.
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Sedela sam uspravno.
05:34
I spoke clearly.
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Pričala jasno.
05:37
I wanted to give that doctor
every piece of evidence
every piece of evidence
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Želela sam da tom doktoru
dam svaki mogući dokaz
dam svaki mogući dokaz
05:42
that I was not the date
of birth in that file.
of birth in that file.
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da ja nisam datum rođenja u tom fajlu.
05:46
And I made sure to mention things like,
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I pobrinula sam se da pomenem stvari kao:
05:49
"I just got my bachelor's degree
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"Upravo sam diplomirala
05:50
and I'm applying
to these doctoral programs,
to these doctoral programs,
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i apliciram na ove doktorske studije,
05:53
I'm going to study these things."
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ja ću da studiram to i to."
05:55
And "my long-term partner
has this kind of business,"
has this kind of business,"
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I "moj dugogodišnji partner
ima takav i takav biznis,"
ima takav i takav biznis,"
05:59
and "I've done research
on this for months.
on this for months.
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i "ja sam istraživala o ovome mesecima.
06:03
I understand everything
about it, all the risks."
about it, all the risks."
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Razumem sve o tome, sve rizike."
06:06
Because I needed the doctor to know
that this was not a whim,
that this was not a whim,
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Zato što mi je trebalo da doktor zna
da ovo nije samo hir,
da ovo nije samo hir,
06:10
not reactionary,
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nije revolt,
06:12
not your 20-something
looking to go out and party
looking to go out and party
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da ja nisam dvadesetogodišnjakinja
koja hoće da može da se zabavlja
koja hoće da može da se zabavlja
06:15
without fear of getting knocked up ...
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bez straha da ostane trudna...
06:17
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:19
that this supported something
integral to who I was.
integral to who I was.
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da ovo podržava nešto
što je sastavni deo mene.
što je sastavni deo mene.
06:25
And I understand informed consent,
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I da razumem informisani pristanak,
06:26
so I fully expected to be reeducated
on how it all worked, but ...
on how it all worked, but ...
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tako da sam u potpunosti očekivala da
budem re-edukovana o tome, ali...
budem re-edukovana o tome, ali...
06:34
At one point, the information being
given to me started to feel agenda'd,
given to me started to feel agenda'd,
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U jednom momentu, informacije koje
su mi dali, počele su da deluju sa namerom
su mi dali, počele su da deluju sa namerom
06:39
interlaced with bias
and inflated statistics.
and inflated statistics.
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isprepletane sa pristrasnošću
i preduvanom statistikom.
i preduvanom statistikom.
06:45
The questions began to feel interrogative.
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Pitanja su počela da budu ispitivačka.
06:49
At first they were asking me questions
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U početku su mi postavljali pitanja
06:52
that seemed to understand
my situation better,
my situation better,
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koja su izgledala u cilju, da bi razumeli
bolje moju situaciju,
bolje moju situaciju,
06:55
and then it seemed like they were
asking questions to try to trip me up.
asking questions to try to trip me up.
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i onda je izgledalo da su me ispitivali
sa ciljem da me pokolebaju.
sa ciljem da me pokolebaju.
06:59
I felt like I was on the witness stand,
being cross-examined.
being cross-examined.
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Osećala sam se kao na ispitivačkoj klupi,
unakrsno ispitivana.
unakrsno ispitivana.
07:04
The doctor asked me about my partner.
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Doktor me je pitao o mom partneru:
07:07
"How does he or she
feel about all of this?"
feel about all of this?"
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"Kako se on ili ona oseća
po ovom pitanju?"
po ovom pitanju?"
07:10
"Well, I've been with
the same man for five years,
the same man for five years,
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"Pa, ja sam sa istim muškarcem pet godina,
07:13
and he fully supports any decision
I make for my body."
I make for my body."
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i on u potpuno podržava
bilo koju odluku o mom telu."
bilo koju odluku o mom telu."
07:17
And he said, "Well,
what happens in the future,
what happens in the future,
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A on će na to: "A šta se dešava
u budućnosti,
u budućnosti,
07:19
if you change partners?
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ako promeniš partnera?
07:20
What happens when that person
wants children?"
wants children?"
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Šta se dešava ako ta osoba
bude htela decu?"
bude htela decu?"
07:24
And I didn't quite know
how to react to that,
how to react to that,
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I ja nisam znala kako da reagujem na to,
07:28
because what I was hearing
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jer ono što sam ja čula je to
07:30
was this doctor tell me that I'm supposed
to disregard everything I believe
to disregard everything I believe
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da mi ovaj lekar govori da ja treba
da odbacim sve u šta verujem,
da odbacim sve u šta verujem,
07:37
if a partner demands children.
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ako moj partner zahteva decu.
07:40
So I told him not to worry about that.
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Pa sam mu ja rekla da ne brine o tome.
07:43
My stance on childbearing
has always been first date conversation.
has always been first date conversation.
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Moj stav o nemanju dece je oduvek
bio tema na prvom sastanku.
bio tema na prvom sastanku.
07:47
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:53
(Cheering)
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(Ovacije)
07:54
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:59
He then asks me to consider
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Onda mi je tražio da razmotrim
08:03
how "in 20 years, you could really
come to regret this" ...
come to regret this" ...
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kako "za 20 godina, možeš zaista
zažaliti zbog ovoga"...
zažaliti zbog ovoga"...
08:08
as though I hadn't.
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kao da već nisam.
08:11
I told him,
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Rekla sam mu:
08:16
"OK, if I wake up one day
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"OK, ako se probudim jednog dana
08:20
and realize, you know,
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i shvatim, znate,
08:23
I wish I'd made a different
decision back then,
decision back then,
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da želim da sam donela
drugačiju odluku u prošlosti,
drugačiju odluku u prošlosti,
08:28
the truth is, I'd only removed
a single path to parenthood.
a single path to parenthood.
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istina je, ja sam samo uklonila jedan
od puteva ka roditeljstvu
od puteva ka roditeljstvu
08:32
I never needed biology
to form family anyway."
to form family anyway."
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Nije mi ni bila potrebna biologija
da imam porodicu."
da imam porodicu."
08:36
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
08:44
And I would much rather
deal with that any day
deal with that any day
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Radije bih se nosila sa tim bilo koji dan,
08:48
than deal with one day waking up,
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nego da se jednom probudim,
08:51
realize I'd had a child
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shvateći da imam dete
08:55
that I didn't really want
or was prepared to care for.
or was prepared to care for.
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koje zaista ne želim ili o kojem nisam
spremna da brinem.
spremna da brinem.
09:01
Because one of these affects only me.
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Zato što prvo utiče samo na mene.
09:04
The other affects a child,
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Drugo utiče na dete,
09:07
their development, their well-being --
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njegov razvoj, dobrostanje --
09:09
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
09:13
and human beings
are not to be gambled with.
are not to be gambled with.
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a ljudskim bićima se ne treba kockati.
09:18
He then tells me why no one
was going to approve this procedure,
was going to approve this procedure,
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On mi onda kaže kako mi niko
neće odobriti ovu operaciju,
neće odobriti ovu operaciju,
09:24
certainly not he,
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sigurno ne on,
09:25
because of a concept
called medical paternalism,
called medical paternalism,
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zbog koncepta zvanog
medicinski paternalizam,
medicinski paternalizam,
09:28
which allows him,
as my well-informed provider,
as my well-informed provider,
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koji mu dozvoljava da kao
dobro informisani provajder,
dobro informisani provajder,
09:34
to make decisions for me ...
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donese odluke za mene...
09:37
based on his perception
of my best interest,
of my best interest,
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bazirano na njegovoj percepciji
o mom najboljem interesu,
o mom najboljem interesu,
09:40
regardless of what I,
as the patient, want or believe.
as the patient, want or believe.
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bez obzira na to šta ja,
kao pacijent, želim i verujem.
kao pacijent, želim i verujem.
09:44
He takes this opportunity to step out
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On koristi ovu priliku da istupi
09:47
and discuss my case
with my potential surgeon,
with my potential surgeon,
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i diskutuje o mom slučaju
sa mojim potencijalnim hirurgom,
sa mojim potencijalnim hirurgom,
09:51
and through the door, I hear him
describe me as a little girl.
describe me as a little girl.
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i kroz vrata, ja ga čujem kako me opisuje
kao malu devojčicu.
kao malu devojčicu.
10:01
I was so offended.
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Bila sam tako uvređena.
10:03
I wanted to defend myself.
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Želela sam da se branim.
10:05
I wanted to explicitly explain
to each one of these providers
to each one of these providers
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Želela sam da izričito objasnim
svakom od tih provajdera
svakom od tih provajdera
10:09
how they were treating me,
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kako su me tretirali,
10:11
that it was belittling and sexist,
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kako je to bilo omalovažavajuće
i seksistički,
i seksistički,
10:13
and I didn't have to take it.
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i da ja nisam morala to da trpim.
10:19
But I did take it.
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Ali ja to jesam trpela.
10:22
I swallowed every sharp word in my throat,
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Progutala sam svaku oštru reč u mom grlu,
10:26
clenched my jaw, and instead
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stisnula zube, i umesto toga
10:29
answered each one of their condescending
questions and statements.
questions and statements.
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odgovorila na svako njihovo
snishodljivo pitanje i izjavu.
snishodljivo pitanje i izjavu.
10:36
I had come here looking
for objectivity and support
for objectivity and support
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Došla sam ovde tražeći
objektivnost i podršku,
objektivnost i podršku,
10:40
and instead I felt dismissed and silenced,
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a umesto toga osećala sam se
napuštenom i utišanom,
napuštenom i utišanom,
10:44
and I hated myself for it.
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i mrzela sam sebe zbog toga.
10:46
I hated that I was letting people
disrespect me repeatedly.
disrespect me repeatedly.
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Mrzela sam što sam dozvoljavala ljudima da
me uzastopno tretiraju sa nepoštovanjem.
me uzastopno tretiraju sa nepoštovanjem.
10:51
But this was my one shot.
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Ali to je bila moja jedina šansa.
10:57
That was one of multiple consultations
that I had to go to.
that I had to go to.
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To je bila jedna od višestrukih
konsultacija na koje sam morala da odem.
konsultacija na koje sam morala da odem.
11:02
At one point, I had seen five or six
medical professionals in the same hour.
medical professionals in the same hour.
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U jednom momentu, posetila sam pet
ili šest lekara u istom satu.
ili šest lekara u istom satu.
11:07
The door to the exam room
felt more like the door to a clown car.
felt more like the door to a clown car.
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Vrata ka ordinaciji izgledala su više
kao vrata ka klovnovskom autu.
kao vrata ka klovnovskom autu.
11:11
There's my primary,
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Tu je moj lekar,
11:12
there's his colleague,
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tu je njegov kolega,
11:14
the director, OK.
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direktor, OK.
11:17
It felt like I was asking them
to infect me with smallpox
to infect me with smallpox
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Osećala sam se kao da sam im tražila
da me inficiraju malim boginjama
da me inficiraju malim boginjama
11:22
instead of, I don't know,
obtain birth control.
obtain birth control.
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umesto, ne znam, kontracepcije.
11:28
But I didn't waver,
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Ali ja nisam pokleknula,
11:33
and I was persistent,
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bila sam uporna,
11:35
and I eventually convinced one of them
to allow the procedure.
to allow the procedure.
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i na kraju sam ubedila jednog od njih
da odobri operaciju.
da odobri operaciju.
11:42
And even as I am in the room,
signing the consent forms
signing the consent forms
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I čak dok sam u sobi, potpisujem formulare
11:48
and getting the hormone shots
and tying up loose ends ...
and tying up loose ends ...
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i dobijam hormonske inekcije
i podvezujući rastavljene krajeve...
i podvezujući rastavljene krajeve...
11:53
my doctor is shaking
his head in disapproval.
his head in disapproval.
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moj doktor odmahuje glavom
u neodobravanju.
u neodobravanju.
11:59
"You'll change your mind."
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"Promenićeš mišljenje."
12:03
I never really understood
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Nikada nisam zapravo razumela
12:06
how strongly this society
clings to this role
clings to this role
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koliko se snažno ovo društvo
drži ove uloge
drži ove uloge
12:11
until I went through this.
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dok nisam prošla kroz ovo.
12:13
I experienced firsthand, repeatedly,
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Doživela sam iz prve ruke, više puta,
12:20
how people, be it medical providers,
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kako su ljudi, bilo to lekari,
12:26
colleagues, strangers,
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kolege, stranci,
12:30
were literally unable
to separate me being a woman
to separate me being a woman
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bili bukvalno u nemogućnosti
da razdvoje mene kao ženu
da razdvoje mene kao ženu
12:37
from me being a mother.
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od mene kao majke.
12:40
And I've always believed
that having children
that having children
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A ja sam oduvek verovala da je imati decu
12:44
was an extension of womanhood,
not the definition.
not the definition.
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bilo produženje ženstvenosti,
a ne definicija.
a ne definicija.
12:48
I believe that a woman's value
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Ja verujem da ženina vrednost
12:51
should never be determined
by whether or not she has a child,
by whether or not she has a child,
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ne bi nikada trebalo da bude određena
po tome da li ili ne ona ima decu,
po tome da li ili ne ona ima decu,
12:55
because that strips her
of her entire identity
of her entire identity
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jer joj to oduzima njen ceo identitet
13:00
as an adult unto herself.
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kao odraslog u njoj.
13:02
Women have this amazing ability
to create life,
to create life,
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Žene imaju ovu neverovatnu
sposobnost da stvore život,
sposobnost da stvore život,
13:07
but when we say that that is her purpose,
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ali kada kažemo da je to njena svrha,
13:11
that says that her entire existence
is a means to an end.
is a means to an end.
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to ukazuje na to da je njeno
celokupno postojanje sredstvo za cilj.
celokupno postojanje sredstvo za cilj.
13:20
It's so easy to forget the roles
that society places on us
that society places on us
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Lako je zaboraviti da su uloge
koje nam društvo nameće
koje nam društvo nameće
13:25
are so much more than mere titles.
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mnogo više nego puki nazivi.
13:27
What about the weight
that comes with them,
that comes with them,
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Šta je sa težinom koja dolazi sa njima,
13:30
the pressure to conform
to these standards ...
to these standards ...
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pritiskom da zadovoljimo te standarde...
13:33
the fear associated with questioning them,
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strahom povezanim sa sumnjom u njih,
13:36
and the desires that we
cast aside to accept them?
cast aside to accept them?
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i željama koje odbacimo
da bismo ih prihvatili?
da bismo ih prihvatili?
13:40
There are many paths
to happiness and fulfillment.
to happiness and fulfillment.
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Ima mnogo puteva do sreće i ispunjenja.
13:44
They all look very different,
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Oni svi izgledaju veoma različito,
13:46
but I believe that every one
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ali ja verujem da svi oni
13:50
is paved with the right
to self-determination.
to self-determination.
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su popločani sa pravom na samo-određenje.
13:57
I want women to know that your choice
to embrace or forego motherhood
to embrace or forego motherhood
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Žene, želim da znate da vaš izbor
da prihvatite ili odbijete majčinstvo
da prihvatite ili odbijete majčinstvo
14:06
is not in any way tied
to your worthiness or identity
to your worthiness or identity
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nije ni na koji način povezano sa vašom
vrednošću ili identitetom
vrednošću ili identitetom
14:10
as spouses, as adults, or as women ...
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kao supruge, kao odraslog, ili kao žene...
14:15
and there absolutely is
a choice behind maternity,
a choice behind maternity,
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i apsolutno postoji izbor iza majčinstva,
14:20
and it is yours
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i on je vaš
14:22
and yours alone.
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i samo vaš.
14:23
Thank you.
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Hvala.
14:24
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Christen Reighter - Poet, essayistChristen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues.
Why you should listen
Christen Reighter's primary advocacy platform is for the childfree-choice. She often writes and speaks out about her experience obtaining elective sterilization at age 22, including how she encountered and confronted harassing societal prejudice, condescending medical paternalism, and civil rights violations. Her other writing and advocacy work includes LGBTQIA+ rights, gender equality, sex-positivity, women's issues (including sexual assault) and mental health issues and recovery.
Reighter is also an award-winning spoken word artist. she has competed and performed across the country and in international competitions such "Brave New Voices" on on HBO.
Originally born and raised in Texas, Reighter now lives happily in beautiful Colorado with her partner and their three rambunctious cats, and she currently is finishing her MA in clinical mental health counseling.
Christen Reighter | Speaker | TED.com