TEDxMileHighWomen
Christen Reighter: I don't want children -- stop telling me I'll change my mind
Kristen Rajter (Christen Reighter): Ne želim decu - prestanite da mi govorite kako ću se predomisliti
Filmed:
Readability: 4
3,281,231 views
Jedna u svakih pet žena u SAD-u neće imati biološko dete, a Kristen Rajter je jedna od njih. Još kao dete je znala da ne želi imati decu, uprkos insistiranju mnogobrojnih ljudi (uključujući njenog lekara) koji su joj govorili kako će se predomisliti. U ovom snažnom govoru ona deli svoju priču o borbi za sterilizaciju i tvrdi da je materinstvo dodatak ženstvenosti, a ne njena definicija.
Christen Reighter - Poet, essayist
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Full bio
Christen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I recognized the roles
that were placed on me very early.
that were placed on me very early.
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Prepoznala sam ulogu
koja mi je bila dodeljena jako rano.
koja mi je bila dodeljena jako rano.
00:17
One persistent concept that I observed --
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Uvek prisutni koncept koji sam primetila,
00:21
existing in our language, in our media --
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a koji postoji u našem jeziku,
u našim medijima
u našim medijima
00:23
was that women are not only
supposed to have children,
supposed to have children,
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je bio to da žene ne samo
da treba da imaju decu
da treba da imaju decu
00:29
they are supposed to want to.
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nego treba to i da žele.
00:32
This existed everywhere.
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Ovo je postojalo svugde -
00:34
It existed in the ways
that adults spoke to me
that adults spoke to me
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u načinu na koji su mi se odrasli obraćali
00:38
when they posed questions
in the context of "when."
in the context of "when."
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kada su postavljali pitanja
u kontekstu „kada“.
u kontekstu „kada“.
00:43
"When you get married ..."
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„Kada se budeš udala...“
00:45
"When you have kids ..."
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„Kada budeš imala decu...“
00:48
And these future musings
were always presented to me
were always presented to me
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Ova buduća sanjarenja
su mi bila predstavljana
su mi bila predstavljana
00:51
like part of this American dream,
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kao deo američkog sna,
00:54
but it always felt to me
like someone else's dream.
like someone else's dream.
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ali mi se uvek činilo
da je to bio san nekog drugog.
da je to bio san nekog drugog.
00:57
You see, a value that I have
always understood about myself
always understood about myself
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Vidite, vrednost koju sam
uvek razumela o sebi
uvek razumela o sebi
01:01
was that I never wanted children.
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je da nikada nisam želela decu.
01:04
And as a kid, when I would try
to explain this,
to explain this,
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Kao dete, kada bih pokušala da objasnim
01:08
this disconnect between
their roles and my values,
their roles and my values,
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tu prekinutu vezu
između njihovih uloga i mojih vrednosti
između njihovih uloga i mojih vrednosti
01:12
they often laughed
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oni su se često smejali
01:14
in the way that adults do
at the absurdities of children.
at the absurdities of children.
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onako kako to odrasli čine
na dečje apsurdne izjave.
na dečje apsurdne izjave.
01:18
And they would tell me knowingly,
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I govorili su mi puni znanja:
01:20
"You'll change your mind."
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„Promenićeš mišljenje.“
01:23
And people have been saying
things like that to me my whole life.
things like that to me my whole life.
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A ljudi su mi govorili takve stvari
tokom celog mog života.
tokom celog mog života.
01:27
Otherwise polite conversation
can turn intrusive fast.
can turn intrusive fast.
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Pristojni razgovori mogu
da se pretvore u nametljive veoma brzo.
da se pretvore u nametljive veoma brzo.
01:33
"Does your husband know?"
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„Da li tvoj muž to zna?“
01:35
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:37
"Do your parents know?"
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„Da li tvoji roditelji znaju?“
01:39
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
01:41
"Don't you want a family?"
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„Zar ne želiš porodicu?“
01:44
"Don't you want to leave anything behind?"
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„Zar ne želiš da ostaviš nešto iza sebe?“
01:48
And the primary buzzword
when discussing childlessness,
when discussing childlessness,
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I glavna izjava u razgovorima
o nemanju dece:
o nemanju dece:
01:54
"That's selfish."
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„To je sebično.“
01:59
There are countless reasons
a woman may have
a woman may have
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Ima nebrojeno mnogo razloga
koje žena može imati
koje žena može imati
02:02
for choosing to abstain from motherhood,
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da se odluči za suzdržavanje
od materinstva,
od materinstva,
02:05
the majority of them
not self-prioritizing.
not self-prioritizing.
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od kojih većina nije
zbog davanja prioriteta samoj sebi.
zbog davanja prioriteta samoj sebi.
02:10
But it is still socially acceptable
to publicly vilify women as such,
to publicly vilify women as such,
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Ali, još uvek je društveno prihvaćeno
javno napadati žene kao sebične
javno napadati žene kao sebične
02:14
because none of these reasons
have made it into the social narrative.
have made it into the social narrative.
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jer nijedan od ovih razloga
nije još uspeo da uđe u društvene kodove.
nije još uspeo da uđe u društvene kodove.
02:18
When I was little and learning
about the inevitability of maternity,
about the inevitability of maternity,
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Kada sam bila mala
i učila o neizbežnosti materinstva
i učila o neizbežnosti materinstva
02:24
it was never explained to me
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nikada mi nisu objasnili
02:25
the commonness of these factors
that women consider,
that women consider,
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uobičajenost faktora
koje žene uzimaju u obzir,
koje žene uzimaju u obzir,
02:31
like the risk of passing on
hereditary illness,
hereditary illness,
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kao što je rizik da se prenese
neka nasledna bolest,
neka nasledna bolest,
02:34
the danger of having to stop
life-saving medication
life-saving medication
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opasnost od prestajanja sa terapijom
od koje nam zavisi život tokom trudnoće,
od koje nam zavisi život tokom trudnoće,
02:37
for the duration of your pregnancy,
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02:39
concern about overpopulation,
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zabrinutost oko prenaseljenosti zemlje,
02:41
your access to resources,
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dostupnost resursa
02:44
and the fact that there are
415,000 children
415,000 children
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i činjenica da ima 415 000 dece
02:49
in the foster-care system
in the United States at any given time.
in the United States at any given time.
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u sistemu smeštaja u hraniteljsku porodicu
u SAD u bilo kom momentu.
u SAD u bilo kom momentu.
02:54
Reasons like these, many more,
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Ovakvi i mnogi drugi razlozi,
02:58
and the fact that I don't like to leave
things of this magnitude to chance,
things of this magnitude to chance,
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kao i činjenica da ne volim
da stvari ovog kalibra prepustim slučaju
da stvari ovog kalibra prepustim slučaju
03:03
all informed my decision
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uticali su na moju odluku
03:06
to become surgically sterilized.
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da se podvrgnem hirurškoj sterilizaciji.
03:09
I began my research eagerly.
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Poletno sam započela svoje istraživanje.
03:12
I wanted to fully understand
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Želela sam razumeti u potpunosti
03:14
all that was going to come
with undergoing a tubal ligation,
with undergoing a tubal ligation,
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sve što će se dogoditi
kada se podvrgnem vezivanju jajovoda,
kada se podvrgnem vezivanju jajovoda,
03:19
which is just another word
for getting your tubes tied.
for getting your tubes tied.
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što je samo još jedan izraz
za sterilizaciju.
za sterilizaciju.
03:22
I wanted to know approval to aftermath,
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Želela sam znati sve,
od odobravanja do rezultata,
od odobravanja do rezultata,
03:26
satisfaction rates, risks, statistics.
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procenat zadovoljnih, rizik, statistiku.
03:30
And at first, I was empowered.
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Na početku sam se osećala osnaženo.
03:32
You see, the way the narrative
has always been taught to me,
has always been taught to me,
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Vidite, zbog načina na koji su mi
uvek predstavljali društveni kod
uvek predstavljali društveni kod
03:36
I would have thought that women
who didn't want children were so rare,
who didn't want children were so rare,
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mislila sam da su žene
koje ne žele decu veoma retke.
koje ne žele decu veoma retke.
03:40
and then I learned
one in five American women
one in five American women
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A onda sam saznala
da jedna od pet Amerikanki
da jedna od pet Amerikanki
03:44
won't be having a biological child --
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neće imati biološko dete -
03:46
some by choice, some by chance.
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neke jer su tako odlučile,
a neke igrom slučaja.
a neke igrom slučaja.
03:49
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
03:50
But I was not alone.
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U svakom slučaju, nisam bila sama.
03:55
But the more I read,
the more disheartened I became.
the more disheartened I became.
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Ali, što sam više čitala,
bila sam sve više obeshrabrena.
bila sam sve više obeshrabrena.
03:57
I read women's stories,
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Čitala sam priče žena
04:00
trying desperately to get this procedure.
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koje su očajnički pokušavale
da se podvrgnu ovoj proceduri.
da se podvrgnu ovoj proceduri.
04:04
I learned how common it was
for women to exhaust their finances
for women to exhaust their finances
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Shvatila sam koliko se često dešavalo
da iscrpe svoje finansije
da iscrpe svoje finansije
04:10
appealing to dozens of ob-gyns
over many years,
over many years,
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zbog poseta mnogobrojnim ginekolozima
tokom mnogo godina,
tokom mnogo godina,
04:17
only to be turned down so many times,
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samo da bi bile odbijene bezbroj puta,
04:19
often with such blatant disrespect
that they just gave up.
that they just gave up.
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često sa tako očiglednim nepoštovanjem
da su samo odustale.
da su samo odustale.
04:23
Women reported that medical practitioners
were often condescending
were often condescending
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Žene su rekle da su njihovi lekari
bili često arogantni
bili često arogantni
04:30
and dismissive of their motivations,
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i prezrivi prema njihovim razlozima
04:34
being told things like,
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i da su im govorili stvari poput:
04:36
"Come back when you're married
with a child."
with a child."
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„Vrati se kada budeš udata i sa detetom.“
04:40
But women who did have children,
who went to go get this procedure,
who went to go get this procedure,
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Međutim, ženama koje su imale decu
i koje su želele
da se podvrgnu ovom zahvatu
da se podvrgnu ovom zahvatu
04:44
were told they were too young,
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je rečeno da su premlade
04:47
or they didn't have enough children,
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ili da nisu imale dovoljno dece,
04:51
which is very interesting,
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što je vrlo interesantno
04:53
because the legal requirements in my state
for getting this kind of surgery were,
for getting this kind of surgery were,
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zato što su u mojoj državi uslovi
za odobravanje ovog tipa operacije bili:
za odobravanje ovog tipa operacije bili:
05:00
"Be at least 21 years old,"
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„imati bar 21. godinu“,
05:03
"appear of sound mind,
acting of your own accord,"
acting of your own accord,"
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„biti zdravog razuma,
delovati po sopstvenoj volji“
delovati po sopstvenoj volji“
05:06
and "have a 30-day waiting period."
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i „imati tridesetodnevni period čekanja“.
05:10
And I was perplexed that I could meet
all of these legal requirements
all of these legal requirements
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Bila sam zbunjena zato što sam uspela
da ispunim sve te legalne zahteve,
da ispunim sve te legalne zahteve,
05:16
and still have to face a battle
in the exam room
in the exam room
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a opet morala da se borim
na lekarskom pregledu
na lekarskom pregledu
05:19
for my bodily autonomy.
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za autonomiju svoga tela.
05:21
And it was daunting,
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I to je bilo obeshrabrujuće,
05:24
but I was determined.
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ali bila sam rešena.
05:26
I remember I dressed so professionally
to that first appointment.
to that first appointment.
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Sećam se da sam se obukla
profesionalno za taj prvi sastanak.
profesionalno za taj prvi sastanak.
05:31
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:33
I sat up straight.
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Sedela sam pravo.
05:34
I spoke clearly.
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Govorila jasno.
05:37
I wanted to give that doctor
every piece of evidence
every piece of evidence
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Želela sam da tom doktoru dam svaki dokaz
05:42
that I was not the date
of birth in that file.
of birth in that file.
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da nisam bila samo
datum rođenja u tom zahtevu.
datum rođenja u tom zahtevu.
05:46
And I made sure to mention things like,
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Potrudila sam se da spomenem stvari kao:
05:49
"I just got my bachelor's degree
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„Upravo sam diplomirala na fakultetu
05:50
and I'm applying
to these doctoral programs,
to these doctoral programs,
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i prijavljujem se za doktorske studije.
05:53
I'm going to study these things."
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Proučavaću ove stvari.“
05:55
And "my long-term partner
has this kind of business,"
has this kind of business,"
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„Moj dugogodišnji partner
ima ovaj biznis“
ima ovaj biznis“
05:59
and "I've done research
on this for months.
on this for months.
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i: „Izučavala sam ovo mesecima.
06:03
I understand everything
about it, all the risks."
about it, all the risks."
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Razumem sve o tome, sav rizik.“
06:06
Because I needed the doctor to know
that this was not a whim,
that this was not a whim,
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Zato što sam želela da doktor zna
da to nije bio samo hir
da to nije bio samo hir
06:10
not reactionary,
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ili reakcija na nešto,
06:12
not your 20-something
looking to go out and party
looking to go out and party
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niti moje 20-godišnje ja
koje bi želelo još da izlazi
koje bi želelo još da izlazi
06:15
without fear of getting knocked up ...
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bez straha da ne zatrudni;
06:17
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:19
that this supported something
integral to who I was.
integral to who I was.
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da je ovo sastavni deo moje ličnosti.
06:25
And I understand informed consent,
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Razumela sam da je potrebna saglasnost,
06:26
so I fully expected to be reeducated
on how it all worked, but ...
on how it all worked, but ...
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tako da sam očekivala da mi ponovo
objasne kako sve funkcioniše, ali...
objasne kako sve funkcioniše, ali...
06:34
At one point, the information being
given to me started to feel agenda'd,
given to me started to feel agenda'd,
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U nekom momentu,
informacije koju su mi dali
informacije koju su mi dali
su počele da zvuče programirano,
06:39
interlaced with bias
and inflated statistics.
and inflated statistics.
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pomešane sa predrasudama
i nadutim statistikama.
i nadutim statistikama.
06:45
The questions began to feel interrogative.
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Pitanja su počela
da zvuče kao ispitivanje.
da zvuče kao ispitivanje.
06:49
At first they were asking me questions
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Na početku su mi postavljali pitanja
06:52
that seemed to understand
my situation better,
my situation better,
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i zvučalo je kao da žele
da bolje razumeju moju situaciju,
da bolje razumeju moju situaciju,
06:55
and then it seemed like they were
asking questions to try to trip me up.
asking questions to try to trip me up.
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a onda je izgledalo kao da mi
postavljaju pitanja da me pokolebaju.
postavljaju pitanja da me pokolebaju.
06:59
I felt like I was on the witness stand,
being cross-examined.
being cross-examined.
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Osećala sam se kao svedok
koga naizmenično ispituju.
koga naizmenično ispituju.
07:04
The doctor asked me about my partner.
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Doktor me je ispitivao o partneru.
07:07
"How does he or she
feel about all of this?"
feel about all of this?"
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„Kako se on ili ona oseća povodom ovoga?“
07:10
"Well, I've been with
the same man for five years,
the same man for five years,
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„Zabavljam se sa istim čovekom
već pet godina
već pet godina
07:13
and he fully supports any decision
I make for my body."
I make for my body."
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i on potpuno podržava sve odluke
koje donesem o svom telu.“
koje donesem o svom telu.“
07:17
And he said, "Well,
what happens in the future,
what happens in the future,
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A on je rekao: „Šta će se
dogoditi u budućnosti
dogoditi u budućnosti
07:19
if you change partners?
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ako promenite partnera?
07:20
What happens when that person
wants children?"
wants children?"
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Šta će se dogoditi
ako ta osoba želi decu?“
ako ta osoba želi decu?“
07:24
And I didn't quite know
how to react to that,
how to react to that,
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Nisam zaista znala
kako da odreagujem na to
kako da odreagujem na to
07:28
because what I was hearing
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jer sam slušala ovog doktora da govori
07:30
was this doctor tell me that I'm supposed
to disregard everything I believe
to disregard everything I believe
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kako treba da zanemarim
sve ono u šta verujem
sve ono u šta verujem
07:37
if a partner demands children.
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ako partner zahteva decu.
07:40
So I told him not to worry about that.
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Tako sam mu rekla da ne brine o tome.
07:43
My stance on childbearing
has always been first date conversation.
has always been first date conversation.
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Moje stav prema rađanju
je uvek bila moja tema na prvom sastanku.
je uvek bila moja tema na prvom sastanku.
07:47
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:53
(Cheering)
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(Uzvici)
07:54
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
07:59
He then asks me to consider
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Onda me je zamolio da razmotrim
08:03
how "in 20 years, you could really
come to regret this" ...
come to regret this" ...
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kako ću se „za 20 godina kajati“,
08:08
as though I hadn't.
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kao da nisam.
08:11
I told him,
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Rekla sam mu,
08:16
"OK, if I wake up one day
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„Dobro, ako se probudim jednoga dana
08:20
and realize, you know,
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i shvatim, znate,
08:23
I wish I'd made a different
decision back then,
decision back then,
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'Volela bih da sam drugačije
odlučila tada',
odlučila tada',
08:28
the truth is, I'd only removed
a single path to parenthood.
a single path to parenthood.
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istina je da sam uklonila samo
jedan put ka roditeljstvu.
jedan put ka roditeljstvu.
08:32
I never needed biology
to form family anyway."
to form family anyway."
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Ionako mi nikada nije trebala biologija
da stvorim porodicu.“
da stvorim porodicu.“
08:36
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
08:44
And I would much rather
deal with that any day
deal with that any day
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I radije bih se borila sa time bilo kada
08:48
than deal with one day waking up,
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nego da moram da se borim sa tim
da se probudim jednog dana
da se probudim jednog dana
08:51
realize I'd had a child
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i shvatim da imam dete
08:55
that I didn't really want
or was prepared to care for.
or was prepared to care for.
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koje nisam zaista želela
niti bila spremna da brinem o njemu,
niti bila spremna da brinem o njemu,
09:01
Because one of these affects only me.
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jer prvo utiče samo na mene.
09:04
The other affects a child,
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Drugo utiče na dete,
09:07
their development, their well-being --
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njegov razvoj i blagostanje.
09:09
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
09:13
and human beings
are not to be gambled with.
are not to be gambled with.
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A ljudima se ne treba kockati.
09:18
He then tells me why no one
was going to approve this procedure,
was going to approve this procedure,
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On mi je onda rekao zašto
niko neće odobriti ovu proceduru,
niko neće odobriti ovu proceduru,
09:24
certainly not he,
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a on svakako neće,
09:25
because of a concept
called medical paternalism,
called medical paternalism,
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zbog koncepta zvanog
medicinski paternizam,
medicinski paternizam,
09:28
which allows him,
as my well-informed provider,
as my well-informed provider,
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koji dozvoljava njemu
kao mom dobro obaveštenom lekaru
kao mom dobro obaveštenom lekaru
09:34
to make decisions for me ...
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da u moje ime donosi odluke
09:37
based on his perception
of my best interest,
of my best interest,
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zasnovane na njegovoj percepciji
mog najboljeg interesa,
mog najboljeg interesa,
09:40
regardless of what I,
as the patient, want or believe.
as the patient, want or believe.
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bez obzira na to šta ja kao pacijent
želim ili u šta verujem.
želim ili u šta verujem.
09:44
He takes this opportunity to step out
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Iskoristio je priliku da izađe
09:47
and discuss my case
with my potential surgeon,
with my potential surgeon,
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i popriča o mom slučaju
sa mojim potencijalnim hirurgom,
sa mojim potencijalnim hirurgom,
09:51
and through the door, I hear him
describe me as a little girl.
describe me as a little girl.
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a kroz vrata sam čula kako me opisuje
kao malu devojčicu.
kao malu devojčicu.
10:01
I was so offended.
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Bila sam tako uvređena.
10:03
I wanted to defend myself.
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Želela sam da se branim.
10:05
I wanted to explicitly explain
to each one of these providers
to each one of these providers
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Želela sam da jasno objasnim
svakom od ovih lekara
svakom od ovih lekara
kako su se ophodili prema meni,
10:09
how they were treating me,
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10:11
that it was belittling and sexist,
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da su me omalovažavali
i ponašali se seksistički
i ponašali se seksistički
10:13
and I didn't have to take it.
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i da nisam morala to da trpim.
10:19
But I did take it.
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Ali, istrpela sam.
10:22
I swallowed every sharp word in my throat,
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Progutala sam svaku preku reč,
10:26
clenched my jaw, and instead
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stisnula zube
i umesto toga odgovorila na svako
njihovo snishodljivo pitanje i izjavu.
njihovo snishodljivo pitanje i izjavu.
10:29
answered each one of their condescending
questions and statements.
questions and statements.
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10:36
I had come here looking
for objectivity and support
for objectivity and support
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Otišla sam tamo u potrazi
za objektivnošću i podrškom,
za objektivnošću i podrškom,
10:40
and instead I felt dismissed and silenced,
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a umesto toga sam se osećala
odbačeno i ućutkano
odbačeno i ućutkano
10:44
and I hated myself for it.
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i mrzela sam sebe zbog toga.
10:46
I hated that I was letting people
disrespect me repeatedly.
disrespect me repeatedly.
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Mrzela sam što puštam ljude
da me ne poštuju iznova i iznova.
da me ne poštuju iznova i iznova.
10:51
But this was my one shot.
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Ali, ovo je bila moja jedina šansa.
10:57
That was one of multiple consultations
that I had to go to.
that I had to go to.
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Ovo je bila jedna
od mnogobrojnih konsultacija
od mnogobrojnih konsultacija
na koje sam morala da odem.
11:02
At one point, I had seen five or six
medical professionals in the same hour.
medical professionals in the same hour.
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U nekom momentu sam se srela
sa pet ili šest lekara u sat vremena.
sa pet ili šest lekara u sat vremena.
11:07
The door to the exam room
felt more like the door to a clown car.
felt more like the door to a clown car.
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Vrata sobe za preglede su bila
kao vrata na klovnovskim kolima.
kao vrata na klovnovskim kolima.
11:11
There's my primary,
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Evo moj glavnog lekara,
to je njegov kolega,
to je njegov kolega,
11:12
there's his colleague,
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11:14
the director, OK.
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direktor; dobro.
11:17
It felt like I was asking them
to infect me with smallpox
to infect me with smallpox
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Osećala sam se kao da tražim
da me inficiraju malim boginjama
11:22
instead of, I don't know,
obtain birth control.
obtain birth control.
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umesto da dobijem kontrolu nad rađanjem.
11:28
But I didn't waver,
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Ali, nisam pokleknula,
bila sam uporna
11:33
and I was persistent,
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11:35
and I eventually convinced one of them
to allow the procedure.
to allow the procedure.
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i na kraju sam ubedila jednog od njih
da odobri proceduru.
da odobri proceduru.
11:42
And even as I am in the room,
signing the consent forms
signing the consent forms
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I čak dok sam bila u sobi,
potpisivala potvrdu o saglasnosti,
potpisivala potvrdu o saglasnosti,
11:48
and getting the hormone shots
and tying up loose ends ...
and tying up loose ends ...
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dobijala injekcije hormona
i privodila sve kraju
i privodila sve kraju
11:53
my doctor is shaking
his head in disapproval.
his head in disapproval.
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moj doktor je odmahivao glavom
sa negodovanjem.
sa negodovanjem.
11:59
"You'll change your mind."
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„Promenićeš mišljenje.“
Nikada nisam zaista razumela
12:03
I never really understood
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12:06
how strongly this society
clings to this role
clings to this role
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kako je društvo jako vezano za ovu ulogu
dok nisam prošla kroz sve ovo.
12:11
until I went through this.
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12:13
I experienced firsthand, repeatedly,
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Doživela sam iz prve ruke iznova i iznova
kako ljudi, bilo da su medicinski radnici,
12:20
how people, be it medical providers,
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12:26
colleagues, strangers,
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kolege ili stranci
12:30
were literally unable
to separate me being a woman
to separate me being a woman
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bukvalno nisu mogli
da odvoje mene kao ženu
da odvoje mene kao ženu
12:37
from me being a mother.
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od mene kao majke.
12:40
And I've always believed
that having children
that having children
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A ja sam uvek verovala je da imati decu
12:44
was an extension of womanhood,
not the definition.
not the definition.
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dodatak ženstvenosti,
a ne njena definicija.
a ne njena definicija.
12:48
I believe that a woman's value
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Verujem da ženina vrednost
12:51
should never be determined
by whether or not she has a child,
by whether or not she has a child,
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ne treba nikada da se određuje
prema tome da li ima dete
prema tome da li ima dete
12:55
because that strips her
of her entire identity
of her entire identity
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jer joj to oduzima celokupni identitet
13:00
as an adult unto herself.
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kao odrasle nezavisne osobe.
13:02
Women have this amazing ability
to create life,
to create life,
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Žena ima tu neverovatnu
sposobnost da stvara život,
sposobnost da stvara život,
13:07
but when we say that that is her purpose,
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ali kada kažemo da je to njena svrha,
13:11
that says that her entire existence
is a means to an end.
is a means to an end.
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to znači da je celokupno njeno postojanje
samo sredstvo za nešto.
Lako je zaboraviti da su uloge
koje nam društvo nameće
koje nam društvo nameće
13:20
It's so easy to forget the roles
that society places on us
that society places on us
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mnogo više nego samo titule.
13:25
are so much more than mere titles.
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13:27
What about the weight
that comes with them,
that comes with them,
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Šta je sa teretom koji one nose,
13:30
the pressure to conform
to these standards ...
to these standards ...
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pritiskom da zadovoljimo te standarde,
13:33
the fear associated with questioning them,
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strahom da ih dovedemo u pitanje
i željama koje zanemarujemo
kako bismo ih zadovoljili?
kako bismo ih zadovoljili?
13:36
and the desires that we
cast aside to accept them?
cast aside to accept them?
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13:40
There are many paths
to happiness and fulfillment.
to happiness and fulfillment.
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Ima puno staza do sreće i ispunjenosti.
13:44
They all look very different,
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Sve one izgledaju drugačije,
13:46
but I believe that every one
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ali verujem da je svaka od njih
13:50
is paved with the right
to self-determination.
to self-determination.
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popločana pravom o samoopredeljenju.
13:57
I want women to know that your choice
to embrace or forego motherhood
to embrace or forego motherhood
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Želim da žene znaju
da vaš izbor da prihvatite
ili se odreknete materinstva
ili se odreknete materinstva
14:06
is not in any way tied
to your worthiness or identity
to your worthiness or identity
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nije ni na koji način vezan
za vašu vrednost ili identitet
za vašu vrednost ili identitet
kao supruge, odrasle osobe ili žene,
14:10
as spouses, as adults, or as women ...
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14:15
and there absolutely is
a choice behind maternity,
a choice behind maternity,
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i da definitivno postoji izbor
iza materinstva.
iza materinstva.
14:20
and it is yours
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I taj izbor je vaš
i samo vaš.
14:22
and yours alone.
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Hvala.
14:23
Thank you.
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(Aplauz)
14:24
(Applause)
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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Christen Reighter - Poet, essayistChristen Reighter writes and performs as a poet and essayist, focusing primarily on social justice issues.
Why you should listen
Christen Reighter's primary advocacy platform is for the childfree-choice. She often writes and speaks out about her experience obtaining elective sterilization at age 22, including how she encountered and confronted harassing societal prejudice, condescending medical paternalism, and civil rights violations. Her other writing and advocacy work includes LGBTQIA+ rights, gender equality, sex-positivity, women's issues (including sexual assault) and mental health issues and recovery.
Reighter is also an award-winning spoken word artist. she has competed and performed across the country and in international competitions such "Brave New Voices" on on HBO.
Originally born and raised in Texas, Reighter now lives happily in beautiful Colorado with her partner and their three rambunctious cats, and she currently is finishing her MA in clinical mental health counseling.
Christen Reighter | Speaker | TED.com